REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 536. 3 Key Steps To Pull Your Life Out Of Chaos

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

In today's episode, Andy talks about how we create a prison for ourselves through things we have the ability to control, what high achievers understand about the process of reaching their goals, and how you can become the ultimate version of yourself through these three simple steps.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcella and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have a real talk, okay? I'm going to get right into it. All right, I see a lot of you guys, especially with what's going on in the world, talking about how chaotic your life feels, how you feel like everything is out of control. You're not in control of anything in your life. You're anxious. You're depressed. You don't know what's going to happen next. You don't know how to get yourself back on track. You don't even know why you're off track and you don't know what to do. And I see this everywhere.

Okay. We look at society right now and the popular thing is to talk about all the bad things that have happened to you, that you create this identity around, that you talk about all the bad things that have happened to you, that you create this identity around, that you talk about for the rest of your life, never escaping the identity that you create for yourself. Okay. And it's okay to have struggles. It's okay to have bad things happen. That happens to everybody. But what's not okay is for you to think that there is something fundamentally wrong with you because someone on the internet has told you so. All right. When we start accepting the fact that we are a victim, we start to create this identity

based around the sad stories that have happened to us. And then we talk about how we're trying to overcome this thing. We're trying to move on from this thing. We're trying to move on from this thing. We're trying to move past this thing. And all the while, the more we talk about this thing, the more we identify ourselves as being a victim of this thing, the less capable we are of taking control of our life and actually moving forward. In other words, you create a prison through your own words, your own thoughts, and your own identity that you create as being a victim that you cannot escape. And what I'm

going to do today is I'm going to talk to you about a few things that you can do to escape and pull yourself out of the chaos so that you could feel good, you could feel powerful, and you could feel like yourself, okay? The ultimate version of yourself. The first thing you have to do when you're in this chaotic time and you don't like yourself, okay? The ultimate version of yourself. The first thing you have to do when you're in this chaotic time and you don't know why you're there and you can't figure out how to get out of it is to ask yourself a very simple question.

Are you controlling the things that you are capable of controlling? And I'm going to bet that the answer is no, okay? Because if you were to control the things that you can actually control, you would have far less chaos in your life. You have far more that you can control than you cannot control in your life. Okay? You can't control the weather. You can't control what other people do.

But you can control a lot of what you do. Let me give you some examples. Okay? You can control control what other people do, but you can control a lot of what you do. Let me give you some examples, okay? You can control what you eat. You control what you drink. You control what you read, what information you consume. You control your activity level. You control who you surround yourself with.

You control your inputs, your stimulus, negative or positive at all times. You control your ability to get sucked into dramatic situations of gossip or peasantry. The normal people, the people that go around all day long in chaos, swirling around the shit that they get wrapped up in. You control not getting wrapped up in that. So are you controlling any of these things? What's your diet look like today? What'd you eat so far? What'd you read so far? Who'd you talk to so far? Did you move today? Did you lift some weights? Did you get outside in the sun? Did you do some walking?

If the answer is no, those things will help you feel a lot less chaotic automatically for a bunch of reasons. One of which is that when you're feeling down and you're feeling anxious and you're feeling frustrated, doing something in a very short amount of time, let's say an hour for maybe a workout, right? That you can be proud of at the end of the time that that has passed is going to be something that helps boost your mood and lift you up just a little bit. Okay. We are in control of a lot more than we are willing to admit. And when we refuse to admit that we aren't taking control of the things that we can't control, it perpetuates the feelings of chaos, anxiety, depression, and victimhood that we all talk about

so much now. Okay. So the first thing is, are you controlling it? And if you aren't, you need to start. That's aren't, you need to start. That's the first thing you need to do, okay? The second thing that you need to understand fundamentally is that you are actually in control of your momentum, all right? We've all had these times where we feel like everything is working. Everything's going smooth. I've got all this momentum. I feel really good. I'm kicking ass. I've got all this momentum. I feel really good.

I'm kicking ass. I'm proud of myself. I feel healthy. I'm sleeping good. I'm eating good. And we've got all this momentum and we have it. And then for some reason it goes away. And then we kind of like struggle and flounder around

and then kind of wait for the momentum to come back. And this is what average people do. Okay. Average people live their entire lives unaware And then kind of wait for the momentum to come back. And this is what average people do, okay? Average people live their entire lives unaware that we actually control our own momentum. So what does that mean and what does that look like? Well, it's very simple, all right? If you find yourself in a place of zero momentum, you're dead in the water, your life is chaos,

you're full of anxiety, realize that you can create the momentum and it's very simple. You go back to point number one where you control the things that you control and you push through day after day after day after day when it's extremely hard, when it's extremely frustrating, when it's extremely, you know, uncomfortable for you to do, and you get to a point where it starts to become more comfortable. And this is where the momentum starts to take over. Okay. So when you do the things that you know, you're supposed to do that you do not feel like doing, and you force yourself to do them for just a few days,

we're not talking about for a hundred days. We're talking about for like five, six, maybe 10 days. Okay. By forcing yourself, what you do is you actually create the momentum in your life and then your life becomes that much easier. And this anxious feeling, this chaotic feeling, this feeling of not knowing what's going to happen or waiting for the next bad thing to happen, that all goes away because you've now manufactured the momentum. And this is something that high caliber, high achieving people all understand that low caliber, low achieving people do not understand. Low achieving people believe that momentum is something that you catch. It's magical. High achieving people understand it's something that you create. And the way that you

create is by forcing yourself through the uncomfortable shit until it becomes a little bit more comfortable momentum takes over and starts pushing you down the road okay so what we got we got control of what you control we got understanding that you can create your own momentum and creating your own momentum now the third thing is very important. This is a very, very, very important point to get you out of the chaotic mess that you are in. And it's very simple. Stop fucking worrying about what everybody else is doing. Okay. We can't look on our cell phones without seeing all these people live in this highlight reel of an awesome life that they're kicking ass and they're rich and they're famous and they got

10 foot dicks and everybody's awesome. And you're just a poor little you and you're having a hard day and you're struggling. You can't get out of bed. Listen, motherfucker. They're all struggling too. They're just lying about it. They're not showing you that. Okay. So stop comparing yourself to what other people are showing. Their highlight reel is not reality. Their reality to get to those highlights is probably a lot of point number one and point number two executed for a long fucking time. Okay. And then you get the wins, but by us worrying about what everybody else is doing, we're inviting all kinds of chaotic, anxious, frustrating, angry feelings because these people seem to be winning so easily and it's so hard for us. Do not buy into that lie because that lie will create so much frustration

that it'll actually paralyze you and keep you from doing points one and two. All right. So to recap, and this isn't a very long message because it doesn't have to be long. It's very simple. If you find yourself in a chaotic time, if you find yourself in an anxious time, if you find yourself frustrated and angry and mad because you feel like you're continuously spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere, understand that you're probably violating one or all three of these points. You are probably not controlling what it Understand that you're probably violating one or all three of these points. You are probably not controlling what it is that you control.

If you are, you're not doing it to the capacity that you're capable of doing it. Two, you're not understanding that we actually control our momentum and you're frustrated because other people have it and you don't. The reason you don't is because you're not executing past the point to where things that

are uncomfortable become a little more comfortable and you allow the force of the universe to push you down the road. That's where the magic happens. Is it magic? Yeah, it is actually. But it happens after we push through the very hard beginning part, which could last five days. It could last 10 days.

It could last 20 days, but it's not a very long time. It's very short and all relative. And then once you catch the momentum, you should do everything you can to maintain it. And then the third thing is this, stop watching what other people are doing and worrying about what other people are doing. Those motherfuckers are struggling just like you. And if they're not, they're probably full of shit. Okay? Let's be real. Life is hard. Life's especially hard right now. It's hard for everybody.

And everybody's pushing through doing the best that they can. And when you compare yourself to you struggling and you feeling anxious and you feeling frustrated to everybody else's happy life that they put out on YouTube or Instagram or whatever it is you're watching them, you're going to feel worse about yourself. And that feeling of you feeling worse about yourself will actually keep you from making the progress that's required through steps one and two, which is controlling what you control and then creating your own momentum. All right. So start doing these three things. Stop wallowing in your victimhood. Stop believing there's something wrong with you. There's nothing fucking wrong with you. You're going through a hard fucking time and you can get through it. And these three steps will help you do that. Go out, kick some fucking ass. Let me know how it goes. And I'll catch you next time. Bad bitch, booty swole, got her on bankroll Can't fold, that's a no, headshot, case closed