REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 544. Q&AF: Regulating MSM & Social Media, Turning Off The Dark Side & Setting Firm Prices

Episode Date: July 10, 2023

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on what's the best way to regulate the information we're consuming through the MSM and social media, how to turn off the dark side outside of working towards your goals, and the best way to let people know that your prices are firm without having to negotiate them.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest thing about the lies, the fakeness and delusions modern society welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we have q and a f and uh sitting in dj's spot is uh mr vaughn vaughn the pastor of disaster for those of you that don't know vaughn vaughn was the co-host of the mfco project with me for many years number one entrepreneur podcast uh for a long long long time. And we're getting ready to launch the new MFCEO project. Yeah. I would guess that about 80% of your listenership has no idea who I am. Well, now they do. Yeah. Yeah. So basically we started working on this project back in November because we realized that the information is needed, especially with what's going on in culture.

We have this culture that has become victim culture at a mass scale. Meaning we have a lot of people who are shitting on people with ambition, with goals, with dreams, with drive. And we want to do a project that helps these people find their way as quickly as possible. And I feel obligated to do that. It's been missing in my life this entire time I've been doing Real AF. I'm really excited to get back to it because I feel like the young people, you know, um, especially the people who are coming out of the education system right now really need real world guidance on how to build shit in real life by people who have done it. And, um, I'm, I'm super excited to get it going, man. Me too, bro. I mean, how often do you get a, you know, genius, personal development,

an entrepreneur with a dashingly handsome former pastor? But not very often. Not very often. Yeah. But today. But today. Today. It's your lucky day.

Yeah, dude. You know, this. People are a little confused as to why we're bringing it back, because I've had some people be like, oh, man, you know, the first one's so good with this. First of all, I can tell you this one's better. It's a lot better because both Vaughn and I have different perspectives of the game because Vaughn has actually went out and executed a lot of things

that we talked about on the show. If you remember when we first did the show, Vaughn was green in entrepreneurship and now he's gone out and he's done a few things and actually done very well with them. So we have a new entrepreneur on the show who has done a lot of the things that we talked about in the first series. And then I have a new entrepreneur on the show who has done a lot of the things that we talked about in the first series.

And then we have, I have a new perspective, quite honestly, because my business is a totally different level than it was in 2019. I've learned a lot since then. I've evolved a lot since then. And the information that we've been putting out is, I feel very much, very, very much so stronger than what we did the first time. Absolutely. Yeah. And that's saying a lot. Yeah, no, for sure.

There are definitely people who became millionaires and multimillionaires by applying the principles of the MFCO to their businesses. I think the reason, I think the timing is perfect for it because this victim culture that we have going on in the world right now is so damaging and so hard for people who are driven to push through now I'm a big believer dude winners are gonna win and losers are gonna fucking lose okay no matter what they're gonna find a way but you know when I was building my business and started it in 1999 all, I didn't have the internet or social media to look around and have all these people that I know basically self-victimizing themselves, giving up on their goals, giving up on their dreams, residing themselves to a life of their sad story for attention that we have on the internet right now, because that's what's rewarded with attention is the sad story, the belief that you are a flawed human being. We're all flawed, by the way, but an abnormally flawed human being and that you

are incapable of succeeding because of this thing that you have, whether it be an event or whether it be something that happened to you or whether it be an event or whether it be something, you know, that happened to you or whether it be something you were born with or whatever, some sort of circumstance you believe that you're not capable. And society's rewarding that now in culture. When you talk about these sad things or you talk about these bad things, you get a lot more engagement. You get a lot more likes, you get a lot more shares, you get a lot more comments. And a lot more likes you get a lot more shares you get a lot more comments and what happens is these people are creating identities with firm walls around them right like their posting schedule is typically somehow them dealing with whatever hardships they have going on right um today i'm having i'm not feeling my best today and you know it's a hard day tomorrow it's you

know oh you know this happened to me today and I can't even get one good day and we have all these things that we continue to post for attention and it creates this self-identity that people are incapable of moving on from at all and so we have all of these self-vict that people are incapable of moving on from at all. And so we have all of these self victims that are out there in the world. And then we have the ambitious people. And this always was the case. But 25 years ago when I was doing it, I didn't have to read it everywhere I fucking went. Right. I wasn't made to feel guilty for having ambitions. I wasn't made to feel guilty for being driven. I wasn't made to feel guilty for wanting more out of my life. Today, these young people have an environment that is almost like poisonous to their own belief system because of the victimization that every single other human being does to themselves, or at least it feels that way, right? And we're already talking about a small number of people on the path, right? When you sign up to be an entrepreneur, you have to

realize that only 8% of the population is an entrepreneur and only 1% of that population is actually successful. So if you plan on being a successful entrepreneur, someone who's going to, you know, live a big life, make a lot of money, create a lot of cool shit, do a lot of cool shit, you have to realize that in real life, you're going to see 99 other human beings before you see another one that thinks like you. All right? So social media pours gas on this guilt feeling that people have for being ambitious. Listen, guys, every fucking thing that you've ever used in your entire life, every single product, every single service, every single convenience, every single great meal you've eaten, those were all made by people who were considered crazy or obsessed or ambitious or their priorities were out of whack or they're part of hustle culture,

whatever, bro. Hustle culture has created every fucking good thing in this entire planet and people shit on the people that create it. So it's a hard path for people to go on, especially nowadays, which is why you and I decided to bring this shit back. I want to create a fucking, I want to create a, a system or a fucking product, the podcast that literally gives people every single fucking tool that they're ever going to need to move from where they are to where they want to go in a very real way. And I want it to be available for people who are like-minded and on that path. All right. This, this, like this shit where like I post some sort of a aggressive caption in my Instagram story when I'm doing my ruck. And then I get some heat from some fucking losers.

Listen, motherfucker, I'm not in your lane. I'm speaking to 1% of the people. I'm not speaking to you. You are amongst the other 99%. And by the way, I don't judge you for that because to take the path of that 1% is extremely toxic. It's extremely frustrating. It's extremely difficult. And it's not for everybody, which is why I hate the entrepreneur culture and how it makes people feel like everybody should be an entrepreneur because it's just not true. So I don't disrespect you if you're in the 99%, but you should also understand that when I talk this shit and I live the way I live, I'm talking to the 22 year old Andy. I'm not talking to you, motherfucker. So fucking hate

on my shit all you want, but realize this, we, the 1% are the creators of all of the shit that people use. So all the hate they give us, all the frustration they pour on us, all the immorality they put on us for having goals and saying that our priorities are fucked up, all of that shit is irrelevant because they use our shit. And that's the way it's been since the beginning of time. So remember that you're dealing with people who are on a our shit. And that's the way it's been since the beginning of time. So remember that you're dealing with people who are on a different path. And I think society would be a lot cooler if people would recognize that a lot of you are legitimately creating a victim identity that you're going to have a hard time escaping from. You're not going to be able

to escape it because all you talk about are the things that you feel victimized by. And when, if that becomes your whole identity, then what the fuck can you do? You know what I'm saying? Absolutely. So anyway, I get fired up about it, bro, because I see a lot of these, I see a lot of these kids, dude, getting discouraged. It's right to get fired up about it, bro we need it we need leaders we need winners we need people are going to go out and fucking blaze trails and kick ass like this soft rounded off bullshit that we see in the world right now is gonna it's gonna lead us down a path of fucking literal uh a literal failing nation it already is right and that's intentional do you not think that they. And that's intentional. Do you not think that

they propagate the victim culture intentionally? They want you to think that you can't do shit. They want you to think that you're broken. They want you to think you're fucked up. They want you to think you're incapable because of the hardships that you face. So do we have to realize that they want us on this path of believing that we're not capable. And the reason they want us on this path of believing that we're not capable. And the reason they want us on this path of believing that we're not capable is because if we believe we're not capable, we must be dependent on them. We must be dependent on their food, on their services, on their education, on their information. And when we become dependent on them and we have no critical thinking, we have nothing

of our own, we have no ambition, no drive, no belief in ourselves, we become a demoralized little cog in the machine that is easy to control. And that's the whole problem that we have going on in society. So like, dude, if you guys out there who are like, like audit your content, bro, go over the last year of your content. How much of it were you bitching about things going on in your life? Go over the last week of content. How much shit were you complaining about? Because every

time you make a post and write that shit out in real life for everybody to see, you are cementing the image of victimhood into yourself, not only into the minds of everybody else, but into yourself. And that's where the damage is created. And so now we have this fucking environment of all these victims and very few ambitious people. That's very easy for everybody to see. You know, when we were young, we didn't see it. We had, we knew people did this shit, but we didn't see it right now. These kids got to read it. They got to see it. They got in bro. It's, it's never been more important ever to be unapologetic for your path in life, to want to be better. Because when people watch you want to be

better and go down the path and improve, they become better, which is what changes fucking culture, which explains the whole reason why victimhood is so rewarded in today's society. They want us fucking fat. They want us broke. They want us dumb. They want us dependent. It's our job and obligation to become all the opposite parts of that as a fucking American, in my opinion. And that's part of, I think that's the biggest motivation of why we're bringing this shit back. What do you think about what's going on with everything, bro? I mean. Bro, I look at every aspect of life. I look at in my small college town where there's literally, I mean, this is a place where there should be like a surplus of young men

and women who are available to do like manual labor and make good money. And yet I have contractor friends of mine saying they can't, no matter how well they pay or how much of a great experience they offer to the young guys, they're getting literal 18, 19, 20 year old guys saying, I don't know, I might fall from the roof. And it's so hot. So the direct result of that is that we've got people in our town who can't get their freaking roofs fixed or can't get their home remodeled because there's an increasing, or I should say a decreasing number of people who can work with their hands or be excellent in the trades. It's affecting every area of our economy that the lack of personal excellence is having practical effects on all of us, whether we like it or not.

And so, I mean, I'm super excited because my thing is like, we got to get to the root issue. I mean, you can have all the government programs, you can have all the charitable programs, you can have all the special projects in the world. But if you don't get to the root issue of transforming people and helping them elevate their standards and get them to recommit every day to a high level of excellence, you're not going to have cultural transformation. But that's what we're doing with the MFCO project, with the new one. Like you said, personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion. It is. And that's the way we're going to transform the country.

You know what's it? One by one. Oh, sorry. It is. It is one by one. Sorry to interrupt. I thought you were done. No, you're good.

The cultural revitalization or rebellion that we're talking about, it's interesting because we just have 4th of July, right? And I posted this post about the flag. And I posted this post about the flag and I started, I made this post about a flag and I got some people that are like, how can you be so proud of the flag when, when, when, when our government's like it is, I'm not proud of the fucking government. Our, that flag is our flag. It's not people's flag. And what people don't understand about culture and what they don't understand about freedom is that the way that we actually change culture is by changing ourselves. And the way that we are free is by understanding that free is an individual

decision. And when we all collectively free ourselves, freedom exists as a collective. All right. So when we start to embody the idea of freedom as an individual, meaning we are doing the best for our bodies. We are doing the best for our finances. We are doing the best to put the great information in our brains. We are doing the best to be good people. We're doing the best to help others become these kind of people as well. We're in a situation now where we're no longer dependent on their system at some point in time, right? We eat the good food so we get healthier. We make some money so we don't need their shit, all right? We put good information in our brain, which makes us more intelligent and better educated, and we don't consume their propaganda. They tell us to hate everybody. We work to bring everybody together

and help everybody as Americans. By doing this, we're removing ourselves from their system of dependency, which is what they want, which is why they propagate all of these ideas that you are so fucked up. This is why they have commercials on TV about antidepressants with women sitting on their bed next to a basket of laundry talking about, well, you know, the things I used to enjoy, I just don't enjoy anymore. And I went and took this pill and the shit that she's talking about is folding her fucking laundry. Nobody likes to fold fucking laundry, bro. You're always going to feel a little down about it. Okay. Unless you're Emily, who I think loves it.

But the point is, is that we are being fooled and we are being conditioned and we are being created to be dependent little cogs on their machine. When in reality, if we remove ourselves from their machine individually, one by one by one by one, then they have no power and freedom exists. So freedom starts with our individual decisions to be free. And that takes tools and that takes information. And that takes people who have done the things that you want to do, sharing the information with you, which is what this project is going to be about. So absolutely. Let me add two quick things. Number one, my wife grew up in America, but she's an immigrant.

So she came over from Poland. The way that the communists took over Poland, one of their first things that they did was they got everybody together who was outstanding in their field, who was an example of excellence or leadership, and they gunned them down. Yeah, they that's how it works, right? How do we keep that from happening in the United States? Well, if instead of there being a couple thousand people of excellence, there's literally millions of people of excellence. So that's part of what our mission, well, that's the driving force of the mission of the new MFCO project. But then the second aspect of what I want to mention is that a lot of times when we did the first one, people will say, well, okay,

so this is kind of a unique phenomenon. Is this a business podcast or is this a personal development podcast? And we'd always say, well, it's both. And the reason being is that you can't just be sort of generally committed to excellence. I mean, that's great. That's the first step. And not everybody's called to be an entrepreneur. But what you and I have come to really understand is that while it is important for people to be involved in politics, the real power is the businessmen and women who control the purse strings of our congressmen and congresswomen. And so if you want to have change politically, you get people who are good people, people committed to excellence, people committed to true American values, who create massive amounts

of wealth. And then you say, we are going to be the ones who influence who's going to govern us. I mean, any political candidate on the planet is beholden to their donors. And so if we can raise up not just a group of people, not just a huge nation of people who are committed to excellence, but like a new sort of golden age of entrepreneurs who can create wealth and use it for good, that's the vision. Entrepreneurs are going to solve what's going on culturally. They're going to restore freedom. They're going to solve what's going on culturally. Entrepreneurs will be the solution

because they control the culture because most Americans work for small entrepreneurs, not big global corps, okay? So when you think about culture and freedom and how fucked up everything is, you as a good person, as somebody who thinks of themselves as someone who wants to be a good member of

society in this culture of the United States of America or wherever you happen to be, you have to realize that fulfilling your own potential is part of that obligation. And then you have the obligation to become wealthy because without wealth, you have no influence in reality. That's the truth. You can have little influence, but you can't have mega influence. And so we have to think about all these things from the cultural transformation that's needed. That's going to happen by people standing up and setting an example and having other people follow them. The freedom restoration that's needed, that's going to come from people understanding that

freedom is not granted to us. It is actually taken and earned through our own decisions and actions and path. Okay. And then understanding that we have an obligation to do this because we were gifted with the potential to do so. All right. We cannot live below our potential. We cannot opt out. We can't say, oh, it's hard. So I'm going to give up on all my dreams and I'm just going to be at a little nothing and a nobody. And, you know, I used to, I used to do this, but it was really hard. Now I'm much happier and lie to yourself, bro.

That part of you that exists inside of your fucking soul that, you know, you know, is there, but no one else knows is there. You know, it's that like bad-ass version of your, of your vision of yourself that lives in you that you're too afraid to even tell anybody about because you think they're going to fucking laugh at you. That version of you is what you're supposed to become in reality. And when you become that in reality, you not only take care of all the problems that you have, but you set an example for other people to take control of their own life which changes culture and and restores the things that we're all arguing about here in reality uh that need to be fixed so i'm looking at this as a big culture play as a big fucking education play

i'm excited to do it and uh i think it's going to be us to change the shit yeah absolutely that's real talk so you're ready for the questions? Yeah, man. All right. Well, the first one is a political question. No, you got to say it like this. Oh. You got to say the line. What's the line? Help somebody feed them his line.

Does DJ have a line? Huh? Oh. I got three good ones for you. That's pretty good. Try it again. Yeah, let me try it again. You didn't have the same.

Yeah. Do I need to add that sort of sass that DJ? Yeah. I mean, DJ's got a little magic, you gotta yo brother i got three good ones for you oh dude get this man a cream soda oh my god all right uh all right first one's political i don't know if you want to touch the political stuff. Oh, yeah. I'm afraid of it. You're a little afraid of that.

Okay. So, Andy, you have mentioned the chaos machine, which, by the way, is a great name for my third daughter. You have mentioned the chaos machine in the past and how they control us through social media and how the mainstream media lies to us about everything. What do you think is the solution or what steps should we take to regulate and validate the information we're consuming? Well, first of all, I think it's important to understand just like you would in your normal day to life. When you hear a story from someone,

you can't automatically just assume that that's the whole story, right? There's always three sides to the story. There's your side, there's the other person's side, and then there's the truth. And that's the reality with the media as well. So we have to understand that media has crossed over from being a place of reporting the news. You know, when you and I were younger, the media gave us the news.

At least we believed it did. We don't actually know anymore. We don't know if they did, because we don't know how long they've been lying to us, but it was unbiased, at least in the way that it was presented. And so now we're presented with these narratives in mainstream media that are highly propagated or biased towards a goal that they're trying to produce, right? They're not just telling you the facts and then saying, make up your own decision. They're mixing in all of this language

and all of this emotion to get you to come to a certain conclusion they want that helps their cause. And once you become aware that that's what we're dealing with, we're dealing with a system of information distribution that is designed to keep all the facts to themselves and only feed you certain facts that produce a specific result. Once you understand that's the game, you could start to ask the questions about, well, why are they trying to make me feel this way?

Why are they trying to present it that way? And that's the first place of curiosity that we want to attack from, right? Okay. CNN, you say this, you're obviously very passionate about this. You want me to agree with you, but what's the other side of the story? And this is how we start to begin critical thinking process. All right. This is how we start to become independent thinkers and not just sheep that repeat shit that we see on the internet or on TV. And so the first step is to understand that the media is compromised and we are dealing with propaganda and there is a desire result and it is not just the facts. The second thing is, is then you start to begin to look for the other side of the story. All right. What is the other side?

What are the actual facts? What facts were omitted? And how did that affect the perception that I have from hearing the story? That's the second step. The third step is what do we do? Well, here's a great thing about what's going on with media is that because mainstream media, which had a massive monopoly on information distribution for fucking generations of our lives, all right, your parents' lives, their parents, most of our lives, they've actually done something now that's changed the game.

And what they've done is they've betrayed the public's trust on a large scale to where most people understand now that what they see on the media is at a minimum heavily biased and more than likely probably partly untrue or all the way untrue. And so what does that do? If the public has lost trust in these big organizations, what does it do? It sends people just like this person asking the question into a place of searching for answers, which creates an opportunity for people to create alternative media sources. So what I observe happening right now is the general public,

the average American at this point in time, now this happened years ago for people who were like more so like early adopters, right? They got savvy early. Look for alternative media sources, which creates tremendous opportunity for content creators that want to create podcasts or a blog or a YouTube channel or any other way of distributing the news and the content and the facts. And so what you're seeing is you're seeing a lot of new news organizations start to pop up. A lot of new commentary shows start to pop up. We're one of them. All right. You've seen Rogan grow massively. Well, Rogan's growing massively, not just because he's great at what he does, which he is, but also because the environment is shifting in his favor and it's shifting in my favor or any of you guys who are creating

content's favor. And that's a huge opportunity because that's never happened before. We've never had a situation where enough people have woken up to the fact that mainstream media is legitimately just a propaganda arm of the United States government to create an opportunity for alternative media sources. Now, lots of people have tried alternative media sources over the years, and it's been very hard to do. There's been very little success because these companies are so powerful and they're taking so much money and they have so many people watching that it's hard to go against it. But the fact now that we have a different situation with credibility, it creates a massive opportunity for content creators. And so if you're a content

creator and you're in the realm of societal issues, I think it's great for what's happening. This has been great for my brand. It's been great for this show. It's been great for DJ. You know what I'm saying? It's been a great opportunity. And there's other people that are capitalizing on it as well. Now, if I had, you know, what's going to happen hat and say, okay, this is what's going to happen. I think we're going to see a lot of these major media outlets crumble. And I think you're going to see new ones form and take their place. And people who are savvy are, you know, going to build a better product that people actually trust that is backed up with at least a fully comprehensive perspective may still be bias. I don't think we're going to go away from bias.

I think there's going to be, I think bias has worked into the news now. I don't think it's going to become an entertainment product. How do you feel about some of these aggregate sites, like Real Clear Politics, where you can go to their site and there's a list of like current event articles and they've just curated basically all the things that have been said recently about a particular topic or issue? Yeah, I think those kind of sites are showing all sides of the story or at least attempting to. And I think that's the direction of what people are going to want. Right. Um,

there's a, there's a site out there called real news. No bullshit. These guys are doing a good job at presenting the alternative side of the news, uh, that you don't see on MSM. There's lots of places that are doing that,

but that can also be brought into commentary too. Right. Like when we first started, Paul started talking about social issues and politics and what's going on in the world on this show, everybody, you know, that was 2019, you know, we were still in the height of the far left, uh, total control of all of our media assets. So like everybody was like this, you're a far right. You're far right. This guy's a far right extremist. And now people have listened

long enough to realize that, no, I actually give credit to the other side when they do good things. It's just not very often that they do good things. So, and I talk about both sides and I think that's what's lent the show, uh, the juice that it's had in terms of growth. Cause I mean, the show is five times bigger than what MSCO project was. Well, and you make a good point, which is I think a lot of people on one particular side of the aisle, they assume that the other side lies, but they never really hold their side accountable. Yeah. So, you know, obviously, neither you or I are big fans of Obama.

But sometimes there are things that conservative media sources create to just basically gin up their audience. Right. And so I think everybody needs to recognize that. It happens on both sides. It happens on both sides. And you have to hold both sides accountable. Well, we just talked about this. I know you haven't listened, but on the last CTI we did, we talked about how, you know, the Uniparty and the conservative and the Republican and the Democrat side of the aisle are all part of the same team.

And they understand that they when I say they, I mean, the people who are controlling what's going on, they understand that in order to have control, you have to have control of both sides. So how do you get control of both sides? Well, you stir both sides emotionally as hard as you can and then get them to attack each other so they don't notice what the fuck you're actually doing. And that's the game that they've been playing for a long, long, long time. And people are finally starting to wake up to it. I see a lot more people speaking up, standing up, calling bullshit on what they think is bullshit. And, uh, you know,

say whether it's, whether it's something that they personally agree with or not, like we're, we're getting better at critical thinking, but you know, there's still a, a large level of group think on both sides where it's like everything, because it's like this team, right? Like you're on this team. So you want your team to win. So like, even when the, when, when your team does some fucked up shit, you kind of hide it. But when that, when their team does some fucked up shit, you blow it up. Right. Like it's just this, the group think that they've cultivated, uh, I think is a big, I think is a big driver of, of the issue at hand that we need to solve as Americans and as citizens. And that's only going to be solved by being willing to stand on your own opinions and come to your own opinions, stand

on your own opinions, explain why you think. And when people disagree, it is what it is. Absolutely. And I would add something you talk about when people ask you, how do you build a billion dollar business? One plus one equals two, right? You take one customer, you turn them into two. And I think that's what we need to do with regard to transforming the culture and opening people's eyes to the way that they're being manipulated. I had this conversation the other day where I was telling somebody, you know, when I was young, I wanted to be a journalist. I took newspaper classes in high school and they specifically taught us how to create a headline that was objective. And so we were taught like, okay, let's say the Kansas State Senate passes a bill. Well, the headline should be Kansas Senate passes HB 120, 35 to 15.

But if you look at the Kansas City Star and you look at the Topeka Capital Journal, the front, I mean, literally, this isn't the editorial page. This is the front page headline is something like Republican silenced trans rights. Yeah, of course. Like that's what it is. And so when you very calmly point out to people, look, look at this headline. This is not an objective headline.

This is a bias. So do you want the truth or do you want to be manipulated? And if you subscribe to this paper, you're going to be manipulated. By the way, I think everybody should can pretty much every newspaper that- I think traditional media is- want to be manipulated and if you subscribe to this paper you're going to be manipulated by the way i think everybody should can pretty much every newspaper that i think traditional media is yeah like i think all the newspapers i think all the big networks i think all the cable networks i

think they've all of them have lost the for the most part lost the trust of the american public and this is why we see shows that are independent getting higher ratings and higher downloads and more views than these fucking prime time television shows so like it's only a matter of time before the advertisers realize they're not getting a return anymore on and money goes away and the places go out of business i couldn't agree more huh i couldn't agree more yeah that's gonna happen i mean it, it's going to happen, dude. Like these people try to install a culture in this country that wasn't American and didn't take, and now they're fucked. And it creates a tremendous opportunity for the next generation

of media moguls that want to create and build something that has actual trust and integrity in it. All right, moving on to question two. Andy, I've been following you for years and I have embraced channeling my dark side to push, persevere, and create momentum for myself. It really gives me an edge on the intensity of my tasks, especially when my bitch voice creeps in or when things become monotonous while achieving delayed gratification for some larger goals. However, sometimes when I tap into my dark side, it consumes me more than I like it to. Motivation and controlled aggression turns into resentment and anger, and it's tough getting out of it, almost as if it puts me into a victim

mentality that I hate being in. Am I using it wrong? Do you have any advice on how to use the dark side or how to turn it on and off or when to use it? It's a discipline. It takes practice. If you become one of these people who's only motivated by proving people wrong or using what we call the dark side energy, right? It'll burn you up. It's going to burn you up over the long haul. You're going to feel the way that this person's describing. You have to be mindful of the negativity that you get, understand how to use it properly, use it when appropriate, but then all the other times be really fucking grateful for what you have and understand what you're trying to do and focus on your purpose moving forward. I think what happens for a lot of people, especially when

they're on the beginning journeys of becoming an entrepreneur or building something, especially in today's culture, right? We live in this culture right now where it's super popular to be a fucking victim. It's super popular to hang on to the hard things that have happened to us, to talk about them over and over and over and over again, because they get attention, they get likes, they get shares, they get comments. And what people are unaware of is that by talking about these things over and over and over and telling people about all these negative things that you've had happen to you,

you're actually creating an identity. And that identity has very rigid walls in it. And the walls will be hard for you to break out of. And it's a problem because what's on the inside of those walls is all of the self-pity, all of the doubt, all of the pain, all of the hard things that have happened to you. And when that becomes your identity, because it's popular on the internet and you're getting likes and shares and engagement from it, now you've created a situation that you can't really escape from because in your heart and in your mind

You're this damaged person and this is why the therapy industry as a whole is very dangerous Because they actually make money by convincing people that they are fucking broken. You are not broken bro You are a human being going through life and life is hard and we're going to have a lot of negativity. And so what we have to understand is that sometimes that negativity is the only energy that we have because we're zapped, right? Like we have all this bad shit that's happening to us. Everybody's telling us we can't do it. Everybody's telling us it's hard. Everybody's telling us we're crazy. They're telling us to get real jobs like they told me. And sometimes that's the only good shit we got

because we got to take that energy and pivot into productive action. However, if you live for that, because it's very powerful, like it's a powerful energy. If you live for exclusively that or you work for exclusively that sort of energy, it's going to fuck you up long-term. And so it's a balance. It's a tool. It's like a tool in your tool belt. All right. This person said, I need to quit this stupid fucking store and I need to get a real fucking job. All right. I'm going to put that in my bank. And the next time tonight, you know, when I get home and I'm super tired, I don't feel like doing those five extra emails. And that thing pops on my head. I'm going to wake up. I'm going to do those five extra emails and I'm going to,

you know, use that energy to be productive. But outside of that, focusing on these things is not the healthy way to look at it. The healthy way to look at it is like, look, I'm building something. These people aren't, they don't get it and that's okay, but they're them. And I'm me and I'm on my own path and I'm going to these people aren't. They don't get it. And that's okay. But they're them and I'm me and I'm my own path. And I'm gonna go do that thing. To me, there's a parallel between this and the way that you have talked about leading, like leading an organization. I mean, 90% of the time,

the way you lead is you cast a vision, you reinforce core values. And then every now and then, you're gonna have to have a direct conversation that might be a little bit more negative reinforcement. Well, this is the same thing in the sense that when we lead ourselves, most of the way that we lead ourselves should probably be vision, mission, core values. But every now and then you got to tap into that negative direct conversation with yourself.

Because along that journey, bro, you're going to have people that come along and they're like, oh, dude, look at these fucking clowns or whatever the fuck they say. And it's going to hurt. You're going to hate it. It's going to piss you off. And instead of letting it piss you off and you're sitting there and sulking and focusing and, you know, reading the comment over and over again or whatever the fuck it is. Use that energy to move forward. Right. And then once you've moved forward and you've said, OK, well, they said that, why did this?

Let it the fuck go. You know what I mean? Like we live in this time where it's extremely difficult for people who are driven and ambitious that want to build something outside. And it's always been hard. But right now we're dealing with the situation where people have figured out that if they have these sad stories, they get a shit ton of attention. And since we live in an attention economy, people will run with that as their identity. And so we're surrounded by all

these people who have these stories. It's kind of what I was saying in the beginning where they had one time dreams and hopes and goals, but then they quit and then they start justifying this new life that has none of those things. And they say, oh, I'm so much happier now. I'm so much this now. I'm so much that now. But if you really watch them and you really pay attention, you could see that they're lost and you could see that they don't know what they're doing. And you could see that they're confused as to why they still feel off, even though they've given up the things that were causing them pain. Well, the things that were causing your pain were actually going to bear you fruit later had you stuck with them.

And so now what you're confused about is you're confusing the meaning of your own existence. You think that your existence is built around vibing out and chilling and doing mindless activities with other mindless people, when in reality, we as human beings are built to passionately create and contribute and be a part of things and do those things with other humans.

And so when you give up your dreams because they're hard, you're giving up an actual big part of your own entire purpose of being a human being to relax and chill and do nothing. And that will never make you fulfill, which is why you're going to feel like you're something's missing all the time. And we're dealing with people like this all over the place. I think more than ever we're dealing with because social media has amplified this phenomenon of, Oh, you know, I've, I was working really hard and now I, uh, you know, I don't have a job and I, I don't have this, but I'm happy and I'm peaceful and I'm this and that no shit. You're peaceful.

You don't do shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, but at the inside, if you could look inside those people, they're filled with fucking anxiety and fear because they understand that, that this do nothing. It's they understand inherently where it's going to lead. It's going to lead to a very tough life. And, um, we're surrounded with these people all the time and because they made this decision and because they understand that it's off, um, they try to convince everybody else to join in. So when they see you doing something outside of that, when off, they try to convince everybody else to join in. So when they see you doing something outside of that, when they see you trying to hustle, they see you trying to build something, they see you trying to become better or lose weight or build a business or

fucking do anything outside of what they're willing to do, they start trying to talk you out of it. And if they can't talk you out of it, they start shaming you for it. And they start shaming you by telling how much happier they are after they gave up what it is you're pursuing. And dude, this is very difficult for young people to deal with because when we're young, we assume that everybody around us would want the best for us. But what you have to realize is that people don't care what's best for you. They care what's best for them. And you validate their decisions by joining them, which is why they work so hard to get you to give up on your shit. So if you understand why people do this, you actually have empathy for them because they're

in pain and they're in a situation where they've made some miscalculations about their own journey. And now they're suffering from those miscalculations. And so we have to, you know, when they say hurtful things or they say things that make you feel bad about where you're trying to go, you have to remind yourself that you're on a different path. If you're an entrepreneur, you're in the seven to 8% of the population that is entrepreneurs. If you're going to be a wealthy entrepreneur, you're going to be in that 1%. It's going to be hard. And if you think about it like this, one percent, that means ninety nine of the other people are going to fucking not get it out of pure statistical data. So like

it's a lonely journey by the numbers already. Right. And then we have this culture like this. It's a dude. I think it's weak as shit. Like it's just soft. It's weak. It's extremely fucking self-victimizing and it's always piling on the ambitious people and the ambitious people got to support each other. They got to stick together. They got to work together. And you got to remember you're planting seeds for a harvest that they will never fucking have in their entire fucking life. And when you're fucking harvesting your fruit, they're going to be mad at you for harvesting your fruit because they didn't plant any fucking seeds. But the reality is it has nothing to do with you. It has everything

to do with them. And once you come to that level of understanding, then the negativity doesn't even affect you because you're above it. Right? Like when people hate on me now, like, you know what I honestly say, bro? I'm like, you know, if I were you, I'd probably fucking hate me too. That's real talk. Like, and that's a real shit. That's real shit. Like if I had to live like you're fucking living, I'd probably hate me too. And I'm being legitimately honest. So like, I get it, dude. But the answer isn't to hate me. The answer is to watch me listen to some of the shit I'm saying, realize that I'm on your team and I want you to feel better. And the only way you're going to feel better is by getting yourself out of this victim box

and going and pulling yourself forward and doing things that make you proud and not just vibing out, but actually creating. And that doesn't mean building a business. That means being great at whatever the fuck it is you do, whether it's you want to write books or whether it's you want to be an amazing chef or whether it's you want to fucking be a travel expert. I don't fucking know, but whatever the fuck it is, be great at it because that's what's going to build you the fulfillment and the confidence and all the things that you're missing by just vibing out that you assumed that the painful path of ambition was actually

causing you when in reality it was you just not pushing through long enough. Right? Right. Dude, you know what's crazy about this? That whole dynamic of people wanting to pull other people down instead of actually taking responsibility for themselves. It goes back to the beginning of time. Yeah, it's something new. Dude, I mean, the story of Cain and Abel in the Bible. I mean, God basically says to Cain and Abel, offer a sacrifice.

So what does Abel do? Abel offers the best sacrifice. Cain half-asses it. God says, yeah, I'm not going to accept your sacrifice, Cain. So instead of Cain saying, okay, I'll come back and I'll do better, he gets pissed off. God says to him, why are you pissed off? If you just did what I told you to do, everything would be fine. He remains pissed off. And so instead of like elevating his level of excellence, he kills his brother I mean literally because that's gonna solve it right like literally

this whole concept of this mindset that says it's it's literally been around for years and to be different like you said to be committed to this rebellion of personal excellence correct you gotta just let go of other people's opinions.

Yeah, bro. And just do what you need to do. If you have empathy for them and you understand that the reason that they're thinking or saying or doing whatever it is they're doing or attacking the way they're attacking or because a lot of people try to attack softly, right? They do this shit like this and you've all fucking heard it.

Oh, you know, like I used to think that way too, but then I, uh, you know, I just, I kind of evolved. All right. They'll say shit like that. Or they'll say shit like this. Uh, you know, I don't, I don't really like, I could appreciate all your success, but dude, like, I just like a humble life. I don't really need any of that stuff. Like, and they volunteer this information. I didn't fucking ask you. I don't fucking give a shit if you're impressed or not impressed, or if you want that or not want that. This is my

motherfucking life. So when they offer these things, when they offer these things up, what they're doing is they're exposing their own insecurities about their own life. All right. And so have empathy for that. Like that's a shitty thing, right? That's a shitty thing to walk around another human being and look at what they've done and then feel like shit about what you've done when you haven't done any of the shit they've done to get what they have. You know what I'm saying? So like, dude, we can have empathy for that. Um, but that bro, it took me 20 years to fucking get to that point. You know what I'm saying? When I was young, the fiery, the dark side shit was very helpful. Cause I'm like, you know what?

Fuck you. Like I'm going to shove it down your motherfucking throat. And I did. And guess what? It worked. But the problem was, is that you never really get to appreciate your own success when you think like that all the time, because you're always angry. You're always pissed off and you can do a lot of work. And I think it's actually useful when you're, when you're younger. Like I think in your twenties, I think it's a useful way to think, but I think you do have to evolve. You do have to ascend to a higher level of thinking. And that comes down to, uh, using the negativity when you, when you need to use it the rest of the time, being focused on your vision, on your purpose and being grateful for it and practicing discipline. Okay. Discipline and gratitude

and purpose will bring you happiness and remove the negativity from your life when you practice them all together. Um, and then, you know, having empathy for people that just don't have it figured the fuck out yet. You know what I'm saying? Like, bro. And some people never figured it out. And like, that's why it's important for you to like evaluate, like, is, is this friend over here or are they just going through a rough time? Are they confused about what they're doing? And these rough times can last a year or two, right? Like it's not just a week.

Like sometimes people quit a job and they fucking don't know their identity. Right. And they don't know what the fuck to do. And you, you, you give them grace, but if they continue down that path of self victimization and negativity, that's where you have to remove them out,

bro, because it's, it's just not going to help you in any way, shape or form. And, um, you know, we could talk not going to help you in any way, shape or form. And, you know, we could talk about this and debate this all day long, but at the end of the day, dude, winners are going to fucking find a way to win and losers are going to fucking find a way to lose. And I can promise you, you want to be in the first group and the first group doesn't listen

to those motherfuckers that talk about all this shit. They just go, they execute and they keep moving. When people say shit about it and they're like, yeah, well, whatever, man. It's probably true. And then they keep moving. Like, you know, like I don't give a shit. Like you say whatever the fuck you want, bro. It's probably true. I don't care.

All right. Question three. I have a small construction and remodeling company. I have been in business since 2015. A constant problem that I face is clients trying to talk me down and get lower prices on my work. I am known for doing quality work and my prices aren't much different from other contractors in the area. Sometimes they're even much lower while also exceeding expectations. Is there any advice you can give me to let people know that my prices are firm

and in a way that's not disrespectful or comes across as arrogant? I want to help people by giving them top quality for a fair price, but I don't want to go broke doing it. Okay. This is a very good question and it's relevant to all owner operators in the first phases of their business, okay? Where you're handling the customers directly. Eventually, this person's going to get to a point where you have a manager, right? You have people that can go out and sell the jobs for you. At this point in time, you're doing it yourself. When I was running my first supplement store, everybody knew that I was the owner. So what did everybody do when they came in? Hey man, can I get a discount on this? Can I get a deal on that? Can I get a this and this and this? And dude, for years I gave it to them. And here's what happened to me. What ended up happening was I trained all my customers to expect a discount. And because I had so many people that got

discounts, word spread that I was given discounts. All right. And what that did was that created a scenario where in my good heart, it started with me just trying to like hook up one of my buddies. It turned into this situation where I couldn't make the trying to like hook up one of my buddies it turned into this situation where i couldn't make the margin to actually pay the bills my business and so it became very real that this was a problem and how did i solve it uh one day man i they came in and they said you know hey you know this is i they ring i rang up their product and let's just say it was 30 bucks usually this is 27 bucks i said well today it's just say it was 30 bucks. Usually it's just 27 bucks. I said, well, today it's 30, bitch.

It is what the fuck it is. Right. Yeah. And I stuck to it. And you know what? Some people, I remember this one lady got super pissed off, dude. I remember this is where my fucking whole entire perspective on this topic changed. I had a lady back in the day.

We were selling this product called Myoplex Light, all right? And Myoplex was made by a company called EAS, which no longer exists. This lady comes in and I can remember, I remember this, this is fucking 25 years ago, 24 years ago. I can remember this in detail. She comes in, the product was on the left-hand side of the store. She walks over and she's like, how much is your myoplex light? And I say, it's $29.99. She goes, well, I can get it down the street at Cliff's place for $29.80. And I said, well, then you better go see Cliff. And that was fucking it. And she left and I didn't give a fuck because I'm not giving any more fucking discounts. And then people either stayed or they left and it uh, it worked out. Okay. And so you have to be

conscious of this being the owner operator that people are going to expect you to bend and break. Cause they know that you're desperate for the business because if you weren't the owner operator, if it wasn't a small business, you'd have somebody doing that job for you. So people will take advantage of that. So that's my story of that. Now, how would I correct it? If I were you, I probably wouldn't do what I did. All right. That's just my story. I was fucking 19, 20 years old, bro. I didn't give a shit. Um, here's how I would handle it. Plus the internet wasn't around. So if I fucking talk back to a customer, it wasn't like they could do shit right now. Nowadays they put you on blast. So it's a different environment. Uh, it was actually better than, because when people were fucking rude, you could put them in their place. Uh, and nowadays,

you know, everybody plays the victim. Like there's only one side of the story, you know, look at all the victim stories about their experiences with X company. It's like, Oh, okay. You sound very reasonable as a customer. Right. You know what I'm saying? Uh, so anyhow, how I would handle this is this. Okay. Do the best you can. Do the best work you can. Deliver over and above in the experience department.

Go the extra mile for them. Everything that you say you're doing. And then just stand firm on your price and be like, look, man, if people challenge you on it, be like, look, dude, I know some people are cheaper than me, but I do the best I can. I'm going to be here for you when you need me. And if you don't want to use me, I understand. I'm booked up and I got plenty of business. And that's the important part to say it. Say, say, just say, even if it ain't fucking true, say booked up, I got plenty of business and I'll be good either way, man. But I really like to do your business, but this is my price. And, and then it is what it is. And, and, and you know what they're going to say? They're

going to say, yes. You know what, you know what they're going to say? They're going to say yes. You know why they're going to say yes? Because they respect you for standing on for what it is that you stand for. And here's the cool thing about doing that standing on your price and saying, I deliver this, I deliver this, I deliver this. This is the price. Here's what happens. The customer now, because you've earned their respect for standing up for

yourself, now will actually recommend you to the other people. And the way they'll recommend you is they'll say, yeah, dude, Vaughn, he did my roof. He did this. He did this. Hey, look, he isn't the cheapest, but dude, I'm telling you the job will be fucking perfect. And so here's what happens is because you are priced a little more, the customer accepts the fact that you're going to do more for them. And they see it as a higher quality transaction that they decided to go with. So in their mind, they're saying, I'm buying the best. I am a high quality consumer. I only let the best people work for me. And what that does is that

creates a situation where they go brag about that to everybody else. Because dude, who doesn't want the best shit, right? I only buy the best wine. I only buy the best food. I only buy the best beer. I only buy the best cigars. Like we hear it everywhere, but you're not thinking of it whenever you're talking to someone in the sales environment. And if you could just present yourself the proper way and then follow through on it, right? Like you have to deliver on the product. Your product has to be great. You have to help people over and above. I mean, whatever it is you're charging more for, it better be a better experience. And what happens is that person becomes proud to support you. And then instead of saying, you know, I can't remember the name of the company that did my roof. They say, bro, I got the guy. His name is Vaughn. He did this and this and this and this

and this. Now, look, I'm going to tell you, he's a little bit more expensive, but you'll never have a better guy come do your job. You're going to feel, and they'll build up the whole story and they'll do the selling for you. So there's actually, what I'm trying to say here is that this is a great opportunity for you to not just create a boundary, but also create some work worked in marketing by understanding the way that people will tell your story. If you stand your ground on the price. Absolutely. You want to hear something funny? Does that all make sense? It makes total sense. And I have a buddy named Wesley. He runs a construction company in North Carolina, Twin Brother Builders.

And he wanted me to ask this question, something similar to this question. And I actually asked your dad and your dad's very quick answer was tell him to stop being a wussy. Only he didn't say pussy. Yes, exactly. And, and essentially your dad just, you're not talking about the female genitalia. You know that that's an actual word, pusillanimus. Oh, is that right?

Yeah. No, I didn't know that. It comes from being a coward. Hey. That's right. I like it. How do you spell it? Look it up. Tell me how you spell it. No, but I mean, he basically said the same thing you did. He said basically what

he needs to understand is that when he lets people jack him around on price, deep down, he's not confident in what he's delivering so he needs to reassert his confidence reassert the fact that i'm going to deliver a high quality product and so it's wrong to ask me to or i'm gonna i'm gonna deliver exceptional service so it's wrong to ask me to to go lower and so i do think with a lot of people they just need to realize that like you're also you you're not to get every customer no so like some of the some customers like we have customers that are divided into three main categories okay you have good better and best all right good people are typically price shoppers they're going to shop on price better and best which is where you want your brand to live and you're

going to have to do better work you're going to have to do better work. You're going to have to offer a better product, but you're not competing on price anymore. You're competing on the way you do your shit, which you're in control of. If someone's just competing on price and they're buying the cheapest shit, how much loyalty can you really create amongst your customer base based around just price? Oh, not a lot. It's diminishing because at any given time, someone could undercut your price. So there's no way to actually build fandom or loyalty or any sort of culture around your brand. Now, if you live in the better best category, now you have a situation where you're dealing with people who think about it a little bit differently. These people say, you know what? I'm willing to pay a little more for a little bit better. The best say, I'm willing to pay whatever for the best. Okay. So working your business in those two

categories is a much more profitable way to go because the people who are actually buying from you are of the mind of understanding that the business has to make money. They're not people that think that businesses exist for you to give them free shit, which is the whole, a lot of that good, uh, segment of the economy. They think that like, they think, Oh, business owners are rich. Fucking give me free shit. And like, they're super entitled. So like, why would you fuck with that customer base? I won't like none of the companies I own, not a single one. And I own a bunch or I'm invested in a bunch too. Not a single one plays in the good category. It's always better best because when you're dealing with better best, you're dealing with people who have an understanding of how a business operates

and they're okay paying a little more if you do a little more. So do a little more and you make a little more and then everything starts to work. Yeah, absolutely. Well, and people like this guy who asked this question and my friend Wesley, I mean, they're not unusual. A lot of people struggle with this. It's hard. It is hard. It's frustrating. Absolutely. There's a great book by Olivia Fox Cobain called The Charisma Myth. And she basically talks about interpersonally, when you're engaging with somebody,

all the studies and all the research basically conclude one thing. And that is that people generally accept what you project. So if you say, if they say, Hey, can you help me out with this? And you go, Oh yeah, absolutely. I can help. Most people are going to believe you. So if you, if somebody comes to you and say, Hey, are you a really high quality builder? So yeah. But do you have high prices? Yes, I do. That's just the way it is. Most of the time people will go, okay. Yeah. That's it. That's a great point, bro. They are going to make a dude. I'm glad you brought this point up because this is a

fucking massive point. When you, in the beginning stages of selling a product, good or service or whatever it is you're working with, it's what happens is because these people are not very confident, right? Like, I don't know if this is going to work. Like, why would anybody pay me for this? Like, I don't know if it's worth that. They have doubt. And because they have doubt, they get nervous when the price comes up, right? How much is that roof going to cost? It's going to, well, you know,

I think I could probably do it for like 30, for like 30 grand, you know? I think so. I might be able to do it for 29. And so you start the process of negotiating because of your hesitation. Does that make sense? So, so the way you present it creates the situation opening for negotiation. Well, fuck, you know, 29, that sounds good, but what about 28? How about 28? How's that sound? Well, you know, and that, so now you're, you're the one

that created it where if you had just said, yeah, um, they, you know, how much is the, how much is the roof? Uh, that roof right there is going to cost you $30,000. Well, that's what it costs, man. Like, you know, I, you might be able to get it cheaper. If you can get it cheaper, maybe you should go do that. But I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do. They're not going to do. I'm going to do the trim. I'm going to do the gutters. i'm going to tell you what i'm going to do they're not going to do i'm going to do the trim i'm going to do the gutters i'm going to make sure i'm not jumping up and down your house at fucking uh while it's 4 30 in the morning while you're still asleep i'm going to make sure it's all cleaned up there's not going to be any nails from the shingles in driveway there's not going to be tar anywhere we're going to make sure that we're in and out

fast these are things that these other guys might do if they feel like it but i can promise you we'll do it absolutely right and yeah it's just about confidence man well andy that's all i got for you all right guys that's the show don't forget to hit subscribe uh drop us a comment underneath tell us what you thought and uh we'll catch up with you next time we're from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze fuck a bowl fuck a stove thought and we'll catch up with you next time.