REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 551. Q&AF: Gaining Respect From Other Countries, Fear Of Old Insecurities & Building Relationships With Customers

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how America can regain its respect from other countries as a result of poor leadership, how to keep your old insecurities at bay after completing 75HARD, and the best way to build relationships with customers that come to your store and never purchase anything.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. Welcome to Motherfucking reality, guys. Today we have Q&AF. That's where you get to submit the Qs and we give you the AFs. You can submit your questions a couple different ways. The first way is, guys, you can email those questions into askandy at andyfussella.com. Or now that we're on YouTube, you can go on YouTube on the Q&AF episodes and drop your

question down there in the comments. Don't forget to click subscribe. If this is your first time listening, we have multiple shows within the show. We're going to have Q and AF today. And then tomorrow we're going to have CTI. And then later in the week, we're probably going to have real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses. That's basically the four different shows. I go through the intro on every show. I don't feel like doing it today. So pay the fee. If the show's good, share it. That's how it works. Let's go ahead and get into it. Let's get into it, man. I got some good ones for you. Let's keep going with question number one. Andy, in your latest Real Talk, you said that when other countries look at America, they don't

say nice things. I agree with you. I think our people have lost a lot of respect for our country, and a lot has to do with the way our current administration has been running our country. They've kicked out soldiers who refused the jab and have been promoting this woke ideology. In your mind and in your opinion, what do you think we need to do to gain the respect of other countries again? Well think you know something that would probably be a good idea to start with is like you know not send our troops over to their where they live and kill their fucking people and blow up their cities and destroy their infrastructure and put them back fucking 50 years i mean that would be a good start you know a good follow-up to that would like to not promote our military to be

transgender individuals who have mental illness, who are completely weak and useless members of our military. You know, promoting things in our school system that actually create high quality, high achievement, high drive, high discipline individuals that are going to be productive citizens instead of, uh, you know, teaching little children about sex or, uh, transgender ideology or any of this other crazy shit. I think, you know, stopping the idea of we're going to reward people based upon the color of their skin or the gender that they were born in life.

You know, we turn this back into a straight meritocracy where the best win and the best fucking produce and the best get the opportunity. And if you want to be the best, you have to work to be the best. That's world i grew up in i respect that kind of thought process you know when i look at other countries that are uh you know like for example and people are gonna get pissed when i say this but uh when i see china raising their kids to learn math and science and rewarding their kids to learn math and science and then sending them the boot camps

in the summertime where they run around and learn how to operate weapons and camp and survive and do the things need to be done as like an individual, you know, an autonomous individual. I actually think that's what the fuck we should be doing. And we should be doing a lot of that. And that's really kind of like what the era was when I grew up. OK, when I grew up, like if you wanted to get a trophy at your baseball tournament or your T-ball tournament, guess what? You had to fucking win. And if you didn't win, guess what happened? You didn't get a trophy.

You get shit. Okay. You know, if you wanted to pass a, if you wanted to get an A in school, you had to study. If you wanted to start on the football team, you had to fucking work. Okay. This is the reality of life. And we're dealing with a weak ideology that is intentionally installed that is Marxist and communist in nature that is designed to make the generations, the young generations of America completely inept and useless and weak. And that makes our country vulnerable. And,

you know, I see people say things like, well, this generation is totally fucked. Well, if that generation is totally fucked, that means we're all totally fucked because at some point in time, that generation has to come to the, uh, point in their life where they're carrying the load of this country. They become the doctors, they become the engineers, they become the scientists, they become the politicians, they become the soldiers. And if you have an entire generation of children who have been taught that the only thing that matters is how they feel about things instead of how things are in reality, and they cry and whine and pout and scream. And do we have a generation of adults that do this now? Like we have a generation of 25 and under

adults that think that by them throwing temper tantrums, that's what produces the result because no one ever corrected them along the way. And in fact, that's what they were taught. So this ideology is already super deep and super infected into American culture. And I've been talking about this in public on my podcast since 2015, all right? But we're to a point now where a lot of these people have become adults. They've been told falsehoods about reality

throughout their entire childhood. They've been told that everything is fair. They've been told that everything is equal. They've been told that everything is fair. They've been told that everything is equal. They've been told that, you know, you get rewarded for showing up. They've been told that, you know, all these things that are not true. And they've been told that, you know, being masculine is unhealthy and damaging. Now we're having exercise villainized to make that seem like it's bad. So, you know, I would say reversing all of that would be a good start. And that would be the start

because this is going to take 20 years to reverse. That's what you guys don't understand. You know, people keep saying, oh, that generation, that generation. No, there's 20 years of fucked up people right now. 20 years. When those people are between the ages of 30 and 50, what do you think is going to happen to this country? Do you not get it? Like, so it's more, it's not just about respect from the other countries. It's about our country not collapsing. That's where we're at.

And like, dude, we've, by my math, we've got about another, unless they do some drastic stuff, which I believe they're going to do, because I don't believe that they have the belief of the people anymore. So I believe they're going to have to rush their agenda of the collapse of America along. So they're going to do something drastic.

But if they don't do something drastic, by my math, I think we have another 15 years before we have a 20 year span between 30 and 50. They're not able to really produce unless massive correction has taken place. And so, you know, there's a lot of things, you know, not promoting children cutting off their fucking penises or, you know, doing all this goofy ass shit that like you know we're promoting i mean there's a whole bunch of stuff um you know i i agree with trump's philosophy i think that's a strong philosophy uh you get peace through strength you have a strong military that doesn't go around the world and get involved in all the bullshit defends our country defends our people defends our interests and leads everybody else go do their shit. America first, real America first agenda,

people first, economy first, manufacturing first, the cities first, and the safety of this country first. And that's respectable. If another country were to live like that, just like I described, would you not look at them and say, well, that's the example of what a country should be and that's the example that america has set for for a long long time until a bunch of people came along and decided they wanted to fuck it up and and a lot of you guys went along with it because you didn't want to be called names and now here we are and we're in jeopardy of losing not only what we have right now, but everything that your kids could possibly have, everything that your kids could possibly gain. Your kids' lives are actually in danger right now. You're just failing to realize it.

And you're afraid to speak up because you're afraid of the Karens on the internet yelling at you for saying some shit that is actually true. And so, you know, that's my answer. I think there's a lot of things that they're like, if I was living, let's say in Dubai and looking at America, I'd be laughing my fucking ass off right now. With a shit ton of money. Yeah. It's gross. It's disgusting shit, dude. Like look at the cities, like look at, look at the, look at the shit that's on tv look at the shit these people in hollywood promote look at it like it's it's just a fucking disgusting place it's become a disgusting immoral cesspool of shit and and you know and that's people keep saying oh

it's the greatest country in the world have you looked around bro, Ukraine is nicer than the fucking United States right now. Okay? Like, you don't get it. The reason you keep saying that is because you've had that drilled in your head your entire life, and you've never been anywhere else. There's lots of places that are a lot nicer than this country. A lot of places in the Middle East are a lot nicer. You guys have been lied to.

That's the reality. And we have an opportunity now to stand up, speak up and draw a line in the sand and say, we're not fucking doing this shit. And to build this country into what it actually should be, not the facade of what we want people to think it is, but actually what it is. And so, you know, getting the respect of other countries, uh, it's going to come long after we get the respect of ourselves. And we're far off from that right now. Love that, man. Guys, Andy, question number two.

Andy, I am currently on my third round of 75 hard and I have lost over 55 pounds and feel amazing. I have always been overweight and struggled with my body image and though it was not the only goal of completing 75 hard, I finally have the body I have always been overweight and struggled with my body image. And though it was not the only goal of completing 75 hard, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of having with these things being

said, I am struggling with having those old insecurities creeping in. And I was wondering how you keep them at bay. Hey, look, dude, I can relate to that. I think anybody can relate to that.

That's been out of shape. That actually gets in shape. And for the most part, I think anybody can relate to that. That's been out of shape. That actually gets in shape. And for the most part, I think everybody struggles with it. I think everybody, even the people that you see, they're in shape and you say, man,

I really love to like, look like that person. I bet they have insecurities about their body that like, you know, like they probably get nervous before they have to go to the pool. They probably get a little nervous before they have to take the shirt off or, you know, and dude,

I'm no different. Like I, I was fat most of my life so like for me that's in me like i feel no matter how no matter how uh physically in shape i am i still have a little hesitation to this is why you don't dude like this is just the truth i have a pretty good physique for 44 years old in fact i have a, I have a great physique for anybody at any fucking age. That's the truth. Okay. For a guy that's 44 years old, I'm in the top 0, 0, 0, 0, 0.000001%. Okay.

I still get nervous about taking off my shirt. I got full fucking abs. I'm doing the best I can. I've been putting in the work. You know, fuck. We were at the pool yesterday. There's nobody around. It's just me, DJ and Sal and his kids. And I'm like, fuck, go take my shirt off. Like, this is why you guys don't see me, you know, flaunting my body all over the internet because like, dude, it's not, first of all, it's not my identity. And I'll say

something about this too. I think it's funny when people talk about how humble they are. And then every single picture they show is themselves with their shirts off. Like you cannot like that's a, that's a circle square. Yeah. And then those same people attack people for having financial success like cars or businesses or houses. And they, they throw stones at those those people but then are too unaware to realize that you're doing the exact same thing with your body and your physique okay well i'm proud of my

body and physique i earned that no shit you don't think i earned all that other shit exactly you know what i'm saying like it's the same thing okay so like my i like i could probably do a lot better on social media if i took my shirt off all the time, but it's not comfortable for me. So I can relate to this question a lot. I think the big thing you got to remember, dude, is that everybody feels the same way and nobody cares, bro. Like if you're working hard and you're doing what you can do, what else can you do? What else could you have done? You've done the 75 hard three times. You've lost 50 pounds. You built yourself into exactly what you want to be. Like you've done the work, bro.

You should be proud of that. And like, you shouldn't hesitate. And I know that that probably won't cure it because it doesn't cure it for me. But you should understand, like, dude, at the end of the day, no one gives a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I don't care if you're 100 pounds overweight or 300 pounds over. No one cares. But what you care. And so like, you have 100 pounds overweight or 300 pounds overweight. No one cares.

But you care. And so you have to understand this is just something that's in your head. It's something that will probably go away. The more time you stay in the condition that you're in, the longer you stay there, the less you'll have that insecurity because it'll be so far removed from where you were. That's something that I noticed. The longer I stay in good condition, which for me, that really started in 2016. That's when I started really getting my shit together. And so what's that? How many years? Seven years? Yeah. Okay. I'm not nearly as bad about it

now as I was then. But I think having the dysmorphia, especially with what we're surrounded with online, you know, we're surrounded with online, like all these people who, you know, let's be quite honest. Most of them have favorable genetics. Most of them don't have to work as hard as someone with normal genetics. And they flaunt their shit as if they're living at a higher level than everybody else. They rub it in people's fucking face. And it makes people feel like shit because, dude, most people, reality, don't have that sort of genetic composition. Bro, I look at food and gain 10 pounds. Bro, look, dude, I don't even have to look.

I can just walk past it. Okay? But, like, dude, most people are like that most real shit yeah and so we have these guys and girls on the internet uh you know who show their physiques non-fucking-stop who were blessed i'm not saying they don't work hard, but they were blessed with favorable genetics, meaning they work really hard, but they also have good genetics and they have a better look than what you or I or anybody with like regular genetics is going to be able to obtain. And it makes us feel like we're not doing what we can, but like, bro, when you do everything you can, and that's what you produce, it is what the fuck it is. You know, you probably got a lot more brains

than some of these people. You know what I i'm saying like we have to also consider some of the blessings that we we did get that those people didn't get that we just don't see it well we don't give ourselves credit for it right so because we're down on ourselves we're not we're not we're not running around with our shirts off in every fucking instagram post because we look like zeus but you know we look pretty good for us. We're lean. We're healthy. Dude, my physique is not genetically gifted. It's really good for a regular dude. You know what I'm saying? That's my point. And people don't consider that. And so we have this shit shoved in our face all day long

and it gets to the point where it's like no matter how good you are you still feel bad about yourself and it's not a good way to live you know you should you should understand that you're comparing yourself to people who and i'm not again i'm not taking anything away from them but they were prop they probably looked pretty decent before they started training and eating right you know what i mean you know you know what i mean like dude i have lots of friends that looked pretty good before they actually started training and taking their shit serious and then once they did bro they look crazy right that's not most people most people are just kind of like plebs all right we're just like average people. I'm one of them. So

I don't have a problem saying it. Um, and we work really hard and, and, you know, let's say that other person's 10 is a, is the 10 that's the benchmark. We might only be able to get to a seven or an eight. That's our best, but that's the reality of genetics and how it plays. And, and the truth is, is it really shouldn't matter what other people think of you or what, what other people say about it. It's like, what work have you done? And if you've been doing everything that you can do, you're going to feel good about yourself and you shouldn't take that away from yourself because you've earned it. You know what I mean? So stop telling yourself this bullshit, bro. Like

having a perfect physique, um um is not reality for most people most people they're going to have their perfect physique which is you know it varies yeah it depends on where you start it depends on who your parents were it depends on what you did growing up it depends on if you played sports or how long you've been doing things so like dude we got to work with what we got and we got to produce the best out of what we have. And dude, um, you should feel proud about that. That's my answer, man. And I struggle with this too. I'm not sitting here preaching like dude, real shit. Like it's uncomfortable for me to walk around with my shirt off. But when I do people like, God damn, dude, you look fucking good. But like, I don't feel that way. I only see the shit needs

to get better. I only see the shit needs to improve. And that has to do partly with how I'm wired as an entrepreneur. That's all I see in business is where can we get better? But it's a complicated issue and body dysmorphia is a real thing. And I think it's important to understand that your very best may not look as good as some of the other people's very best, but it's your very best and you should be fucking proud of it. And anybody with normal brain that's not a dick is going to look at you and say, dude, you're fucking crushing, man. I'm proud of you. Those are the people you want to be around anyway. That's why I love first form so much, bro. Because first form is not based around these elite athlete, like crazy genetic people. These are just regular fucking people that are living at the highest standard that they can. And I'm surrounded by them.

And so like, dude, you know, not everybody's going to win physique competitions, but fucking most of these people in this building and most of our people on our Legionnaire team and most of our customers do their best to live real life at the highest level that they can. And dude, to me, that inspires me a fucking million times more than somebody who is gifted with something who's just kind of selling it as their thing. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely, man. So, you know, well, there's nothing cooler to me to see in people like this where, you know, they lost 50, 100, you know, or in extreme cases like Anthony, you know, 600 pounds. Right.

And reclaim their life like, dude. I don't I don't know how you, I don't know. I just feel, I feel very fortunate to be surrounded by people like that. You know what I mean? Because like, dude, that's, those people are right here. They're right in the heart. They're right in the mind. They might not have the Arnold Schwarzenegger

perfect physique, right? But bro, they're fucking working hard and they're doing the right shit. And to me, that's what fucking matters. I love that, man. Guys, Andy, our third and final question, question number three, Andy, I recently moved my brick and mortar store into a mall. Uh, and all I hear all day is, oh, I'm just looking. How do you build an actual relationship with the customers that are just looking and don't want to be bothered? Okay, well, the reason they're saying just looking is because you're coming at them like a fucking teenage boy at his first set of titties, bro. Okay?

This is where you're fucking up. All right? You're going up with the premise, how can I help you today? Is there anything you're fucking up all right you you're going up with the premise how can i help you today is there anything you're looking for like all this cheesy ass shit how about just go up and have a conversation it's not genuine i work the retail store i've probably worked more retail transactions than any other single human being i know okay and that's what's given me all the skills all the skills that you guys know me for or listen to me for or that I've used to build the businesses that I own came from that place. And so I would highly recommend getting yourself in this situation because the skills that can be obtained through that amount of reps are invaluable to success. And they're only becoming more valuable as things become more automated. Because as AI gets implemented, as things become more automated,

there's less and less people with these real people skills, which makes them super fucking valuable. Okay. So let's just start with this. Stop walking up to him and being like the cheesy sales guy. All right. Everybody knows this. Okay. If you've ever shocked, shopped at a place like the buckle. Okay.

Oh, okay. For real. Now I'm not shopped at a buckle since like 1987, but I'm just saying we've all been in there at least once. And you go in there and you know, you're looking for a pair of jeans or whatever. Right. And you, you go in the closet and you're in the fucking thing changing and you know you're looking for a pair of jeans or whatever right and you you go in the closet and

you're in the fucking thing changing and you're putting on the jeans and all of a sudden the shit starts flying over the fucking door bro like this shirt and that shirt and you start hearing this person talk on the other side i think this will look really good on you i think this i'm like bro i'm fucking 100 pounds overweight that ain look good. Like, so like you get attacked, right? And people are so used to this attacking in a retail environment. What do you think you should do? If they're so used to getting attacked, the, probably the good idea is to not attack. All right. And make them comfortable. And so one thing that I used to do that I teach to our team that has become super valuable in my life is finding common ground that doesn't have to do

with the obvious situation at hand for example I love cars okay uh most of you guys know that I'm a huge car fanatic it's probably my my big it's my biggest passion in life outside of business and dogs okay uh but cars business dogs yeah no i think dogs are at the top bro yeah so uh so i would try to find like people i where i worked in retail stores i could see what people drove up in all right and you can adjust this technique, like it could be what shoes they're wearing. It could be something about them. That's unique. It could be something going on in the world. It could be something going on outside of the main thoroughfare of the mall. Right. But we want to find common ground. And one of the things I used to do that just because I was interested in cars, it's like when someone would drive up in a car that was cool,

I would make conversation about the car. Because if someone drives a cool car, and by the way, cool car doesn't mean like Ferrari. It doesn't mean expensive. Okay. A lot of people make their, like when you don't have any money,

this is what I did. I made my car cool. Like I went to fucking auto zone and I got the shit. I stuck the shit on my car. The stick on pipe. Yes, bro. I did it. All right. I did. I made my car cool. Like I went to fucking AutoZone and I got the shit. I stuck the shit on my car. The stick on pipe. Yes, bro. I did it. All right.

I did it. But that's all I could afford. So I made my car cool and I fucking was proud of it. Like I drove a Jeep with no top. It has some fucking cool, you know, little trinkets and shit on it. I thought it was for me. It was cool. Okay.

And so like you have to understand, it's not about how much the car costs. And this is one of the coolest things about car culture is that true car people don't give a fuck about the, how much the car costs. They, they care about, like, they understand the fucking culture. Like, tell me the story. Like, bro, you could drive, like, dude, one of the coolest cars I think out there is a Subaru, a Subaru WRX STI that are fucking totally built out. I've never owned one.

And that's something I want to own. Um, and I can easily go buy one. Right. But the point is, is like, that's way below really any of my other shit price-wise. But I think it's like one of the coolest cars in the fucking world. Like I, I think everything's cool if they think it's cool. So what I used to do is when I see someone, you know, like back in that day, bro, people would like modify their Dodge Neons and shit. Right. So they'd roll up. They'd have a blacked out Dodge Neon with tinted windows. And you could just look and you could tell they're driving that car intentionally. OK. And so I would make conversation about their car. I would say, dude, I like what you did with that, man. It looks fucking good. You know, blah, blah, blah. And they'd be like, really? And I'd be like, yeah.

And we'd start talking about that. And that breaks down all those barriers. And dude, then they don't have an opportunity to tell you you're just looking, okay? Another thing that you can do is, bro, you know, because you can't like always, this is a higher level question. This is something for RIT. I'm getting into something else.

The point is, is that you try to find something common that you're genuinely interested in and talk about it. All right. And this doesn't mean be cheesy and fake like you're interested in it, because if you fake interest in that same scenario, if I fucking, if I fucking wasn't interested in cars and I tried to fucking fake blow this dude's ego up about his car and I didn't think it was cool, he'd be able to tell. You could tell that, okay? And all of you can tell that. You all know when you're being bullshitting. So my recommendation is very simple. Practice talking to people about things that are irrelevant to the sales transaction when you first meet them. Another thing is, is if you have a business, like if you own the business, you know, maybe

look at it like this. How much is a bottle of water cost you if you go to Costco and buy it on a pallet? It's like fucking 11 cents, okay? So if you took your 11 cent water and put it had a fridge in the back and when your people walked in the door your customers your prospective customers you just walked over with the water say here enjoy a complimentary water when you're when you're enjoying uh or when you're looking around bro that's a way to break the ice oh thank you very much oh it's fucking hot outside yeah you don't ask them if they want it you give it to them like there's all kinds of shit we teach all

this shit in our team all this shit we're talking about we teach these techniques um but the point is is that creating rapport around commonalities when there's a sales question in place, it's important to break down the barrier of the resistance. Because, dude, these people are going to, they're used to going into places like the buckle, where they get harassed, okay? They're used to going into places, you know, really anywhere, bro,

where the people are just up your ass. How refreshing would it be if you went into it? Like, think of it as the customer. Think of it like you're the customer. What would be cool if you walked into a place? How would it be cool to be treated? How do you want to be treated? And start treating your customers that way.

That's what works, okay? So stop attacking them. Start getting to know them and change your intent from I'm trying to sell to I'm actually just trying to make friends and it'll fix most of your problems changing your your intent what I just said from selling to making friends because really what business are you in are you I don't even know did you say no okay because it doesn't matter because ultimately you're in the

business of accumulating customers. So shouldn't the intent be to make this person a friend? So at least even if they don't buy anything, they at least walk out and they say, dude, I went to fucking Andy's store. That guy's cool as fuck. Isn't that worth a conversation? Isn't that worth some effort? See, a lot of you guys are so short sighted. You don't understand that you're actually pushing negative word of mouth out the door because of how pushy you are in the environment you walk up to these people and you're attacking them and they're like oh just looking and they fucking you know what they do is they walk out of the store and they're like yeah that store's cool it's good they got some good shit but like bro they're on you like like flies on shit like a buckle you ever been to the buckle

yeah bro and you don't want that shit. You want the opposite of that. So how do you want to be treated? Find commonalities, work to make friends, make it your genuine intent. And remember, you're not in the business of selling

whatever it is you sell. You're in the business of accumulating fucking customers. And you do that by making friends. Make a friend, make a sale. It's very simple. Love that, man. Guys. Andy.

That's three. Yeah, go pay the fee.