REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 60. Liberating Your Mind

Episode Date: August 1, 2020

You are a byproduct of the environment that raised you. The problem with that is, most of our parents and guardians instilled the wrong beliefs in us. On today's show, Andy shares four simple steps you can take to discover the truth and liberate yourself from the current beliefs that are causing you pain. LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  Book Andy to Be on Your Podcast Follow Andy on Instagram Follow Andy on Facebook Take complete control of your life - 75 HARD Get my raw & uncensored advice about success & life delivered to you daily!  

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm gonna get millions. Watch this. In a project living. Damn. Spoke it till existence. Voila. Mode changed to 50. What up?

Got more cars than diddy. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. What up? What's up, guys? It's Dandy Frisella, and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have a real talk episode. It's not

going to be long, but it is going to be packed with information that I believe will help you right now. All right. We look around the world and not a single one of us can deny the chaos that's going on. We have all sorts of information coming at us 24-7. We've got political issues, social issues, personal beliefs, and all these things, you know, the media jamming stories down our throat to get us to see things the way they want us to see them. And we're having all of these influences and information collide. And what's it do to us? It makes us confused. It makes us have anxiety.

It makes us frustrated. It makes us angry. And it makes us unhappy. And so today I thought what I would do with you guys is sort of walk you through a couple points, four to be exact, that I think will help you understand a couple things that you can do to help liberate and free your mind and your anxiety and your frustration and your anger and to help you become more comfortable finding out what the truth is and how you can stand on the truth okay and you you can stand on the truth.

Okay. And you guys first have to realize that most of the things that you believe, you believe them because you were indoctrinated to believe them. All right. And a lot of people here indoctrinated and they start to think conspiracy theory, but the truth is you are who you grew up around. Okay. What your parents taught you was indoctrination, whatever it was, they taught you, you were indoctrinated to learn those things over the course of your upbringing.

That doesn't make them right or wrong. It just makes it what it is. And so we as humans are constantly fighting what our core beliefs are with what the data is that's available out there in the real world. And it doesn't help us when there's 15 different news channels all reporting the same data in different ways to push their agenda. It confuses us. It makes us doubt what we believe. And then when we consider what it is that we were taught and how we were brought up and what we were taught in those regards, it can make it extra confusing because now we're collaborating, you know, and conflicting our own belief systems with what society is showing. And see, guys, this is just a big attack on our own egos. These people who are pushing this information out

understand the nature of humanity. And the nature of humanity is this. We all have an ego and we all like our ego and we all have a tough time stepping aside and detaching our personal feelings regarding a matter to accept things that might not align with what we personally believe. Okay. So if you didn't understand that, I want you to go back and listen to it again.

We have a hard time detaching our personal beliefs from what is actually happening. And a lot of people right now, and it's really hard for me to sit back and watch, are really struggling with this. And this struggle can show up in all kinds of different ways. It can show up in anxiety. It could show up in frustration. It could show up in anger. But none of it's good.

All right. None of these things make us feel good. And what I want to do here is just have a nice, calm talk with you so that you could understand how to liberate through this process so that you can feel free, have less anxiety, have less frustration and, you know, focus on what you can do to be better. All right. So the core of this issue, guys, it comes down to a real simple fact. None of us like to be wrong, right? We all want what we believe to be the truth. And the way that conversations happen amongst humans, especially with the culture that we have

right now in America, is that we tend to want to win conversations. All right. Think about how you speak with your friends. You know, one of your friends says they ran a mile and then you got your next friends like, yeah, dude, I ran a mile too. But that was like two years ago. Now I'm up to two miles. And then, you know, it goes around the table. And then by the end of it, you feel like shit because you only ran a mile. Right.

So we live in this competitive atmosphere where we're competing with other people's egos. Everybody wants to be the best. Everybody wants to talk about what they did. And everybody wants what they did to be better what you did. That's just the truth. And it's frustrating, right? Like, but if we're honest and we look at the internet and we look at conversations in real life, this is something that happens all the time. So when we come to a point where we believe something to be the truth,

we have a really hard time changing our minds off of that. All right. Our culture is a culture which values itself based upon how right they are, okay? How good their argument is. Are they making points? And I want you to forget about all that shit. And I want you to realize a very huge truth about your own happiness. And it's this. If you attach yourself too hard to any given belief and don't allow yourself the opportunity to learn something new and to change your mind, you're

setting yourself up for misery. Okay. And what you're doing is you're letting your ego get in the way of the truth. And because you can't actually accept the truth or be on the truth team, so to speak, it makes you feel bad. And that's just the way we feel. And you feel it in your soul, right? Like,

you know, when you're wrong and it's not what you believed and other people are right. And the facts have shown it. And it's a very difficult feeling to process, right? You feel like guilty almost. You almost feel like, fuck, I wish I could say I was wrong, but I can't, right? That's what people do. But that's wrong.

The truth is, if you want to be happy and you want to be successful and you want to be fulfilled and you want to be light and free and feel good, you have to be willing to change your mind when it's appropriate. Now, I'm not saying you're going to jump all over the new trend over here or jump all over the new trend over there or whatever's new. That's not what I'm saying. There's value in digging your heels in sometimes, but only when you're well informed about what you're talking about. And that's something that only we can self-regulate. We have to go in, we have to do the research, we have to figure out where we stand. And once we're confident in where we stand, sometimes you can dig your heels in, right? There's a lot of things that are good in the

world that happen when you do that. The problem we have now is we have a lot of people that dig their heels in when they actually haven't done the homework. Okay. So the first thing you need to understand is there is a huge difference between being wrong and being bad. Okay. A lot of people associate being wrong and being bad as the same thing. That's not true.

All right. If you don't know any better and you haven't done the homework and you haven't done the research, you're just wrong. That doesn't mean you're bad. Okay. When you don't have the information or have the facts and don't know the truth, it's okay to be wrong. This is normal. And right now we're living in a society where they are purposefully confusing us so that we don't know what the fuck is going on. So it makes it real hard for us to decide what it is that is right and wrong.

All right. The data is confusing. The personalities are confusing. We're hearing all kinds of crazy shit come out about people that we trusted and loved and liked and enjoyed our whole lives. We're having a lot thrown at us right now, guys. So understand that you can't plant yourself on a hill when you don't know what the hill's made of. All right. That's how I want you to think of it. So point number

one is this. Understand there's a difference between being wrong and being bad. Big difference. It's not the same. Okay. Point number two is this. And it's sort of in line with point number one, but it's an inverse relationship. Okay. If you get to a point where you know you're wrong and you refuse to accept it,

you are no longer just wrong. Now you're crossing the line to negligent or bad, all right? If you know better and still refuse to admit that you're wrong, that's not a good thing. That's going to make you feel bad. You're going to feel that in the form of anxiety, in the form of self-criticism, in the form of pain, in the form of frustration, and it's going to make you angry.

Stop and ask yourself, why are you so frustration, and it's going to make you angry. Stop and ask yourself, why are you so mad at the people who are arguing with you? Okay. You'll find out a lot by just asking some questions. There's been plenty of examples about this throughout history where, you know, all the facts seem to say one thing and then it comes to find out that it was a whole nother thing. All right. I can remember years ago, there was a situation where there was a car seat and this new, I can't remember the exact name of it, but there was a new innovative car seat. Right. And everybody thought it was cool. And a bunch of parents bought it. And this car seat, because it was designed the

wrong way, ended up killing a bunch of kids, Like I think at least a dozen kids or so. And because it was considered to be the cool thing, a lot of parents ignored the data. All right. And said, well, we're still going to use this car seat anyway. And guess what happened? Their kids died. Okay. So this situation, the parents whose kids died through ignorance, they didn't know that's not, that's not a bad thing. Right. But then when the people ignored the data and then went ahead and put their kids in those positions anyway, and then they died. Now you're crossing a line to negligence. Okay. And, and not good things, things that will haunt you for your entire life you have

to understand there's there's a big difference between being wrong and being bad and if you come to the conclusion that you might be wrong and you don't stand on it and say hey man i was fucking wrong and then something bad happens that's where you're in real deep shit to have a lot of regret a lot of pain and and who knows what else okay a lot of bad things nothing good comes from it so another thing to consider too in this point is that you know when you stand on your hill on your view on your thought process when you know it's wrong and you start to go out and voice it what happens is you're misleading others with the mentality and that's that's not good that's bad that's evil okay when you know you're wrong and you're misleading others with the mentality. And that's not good. That's bad. That's evil.

Okay. When you know you're wrong and you're going out and stating certain things to get people to believe in you, that's manipulation. That's bad, bad, bad shit. All right. So understand there's a big difference between being wrong and being bad. And then understand that once you realize you're wrong, it's important to adjust fire quickly because it's going to save you a lot of heartache. All right. Now, the third point is this,

and this is a big one. Admitting that you're wrong is not a weakness. Okay. Everybody thinks this is a weakness. I actually think this is a superpower. I actually believe that being able to detach enough and admit quickly that you're wrong is actually a huge strength that you could possess in all areas of your life. Okay. And I'm going to tell you something. People respect this sort of behavior. A lot of people put off the fact of admitting that they were wrong or admitting that they were misled or admitting that they didn't know all the things because they're afraid of letting all the people who agree with them down and that the people on the other side who are actually operating a

different way they're afraid those people are going to ridicule them and they're going to say well you know fuck you still you thought that's not what happens what happens is is when you admit that you're wrong people respect that people see that as a tough thing to do. They understand that it's very difficult because they've had to do it before. And what you'll find is, is kind of once you figure it out, you're going to get a big hug from the people that you've been arguing with for your whole life. And that should make you feel less anxious about maybe making some new decisions about what you believe

and not believe. And I think a lot of people are doing this right now because of the amount of information that we're having. I think a lot of people are seeing a lot of this shit and, you know, we have people that are saying, oh, you know, I, whatever, this is all bullshit. And then we have people who are saying, hey, um, this doesn't look good and this is not what I'm about and this is not what I believe in. You know what? I'm not with that. Those people are being celebrated as strong. Those people are being shown to have strength. And I'm not talking about anything other than how to work through this situation in any scenario. It could be at work. It could be in your relationship. It could be in business. I can tell you for sure in business, admitting that you're wrong is a huge necessary.

You have to have the ability to do this because I'm going to tell you, and I will tell you from coaching, you know, thousands of entrepreneurs for many, many years, I'm just telling you, this is what holds most people back from being great at business is that they let their ego get in the way of their decision making they know that they're likely wrong But they push through on their agenda anyway, and it ends up having them lose and that sounds stupid, right? Like why would you break yourself? over, you know Your pride but guys i'm telling you man. It happens every day. I've been in this game for a long time It happens every fucking day. And it is the biggest weakness that most people have. Most

people's biggest weakness is they cannot change their mind. They cannot admit they were wrong because of their pride. All right. So again, there's a big difference between being wrong and being bad. If you realize you're wrong and you still spouting that bad shit, that means you're bad. Admitting you're wrong. The third point is not a weakness. It's actually a superpower strength. All right.

And the last point is this. You're going to feel better. Okay. You hear that saying before, you know, the truth will set you free. And a lot of people don't know what that means, but what it means is, is that you're able to have a clear conscious about what you believe and you won't feel the need to argue and fight and bicker and, you know, be mad at other people because of what they believe. So a lot of what's going on right

now in the world is a lot of people have, you know, they're coming to terms with the fact that what they were taught, what they were supposed to believe, what they think was the truth actually isn't the truth. And it's making them fucking mad. That's not how you should feel. You should feel disappointed. You might want to feel like embarrassed a little bit. But guys, I'm telling you guys, there's so much manipulation going on in the world right now in all different areas. There's so many lies. There's so much posturing and presenting of facts that just isn't true in all regards by all sides. It's extremely difficult to see what's

going on. And so if you feel embarrassed about this, I'm just telling you, you shouldn't because nobody fucking knows. Okay. So here's the thing. When you start to come to the truth that you know, in your heart is the truth because you've done the actual research and you've read and you've investigated and you've discovered on yourself versus just following the herd and whatever the fuck they're saying. You are going to feel lighter. You're going to feel freer. You're going to feel better. And you're going to understand what it means when people say the truth will set you free because you won't have that anxiety.

You won't have that weight on your shoulders. See that weight. What it comes from is you knowing that you're wrong and not being able to admit that you're wrong. All right. And I can tell you this in a real world scenario real quick. And just a stupid example for you guys. All right.

I always drove Chevy trucks. Always. And I planted my identity into driving Chevy trucks. I always drove them. Well, I got to a point where, you know, and like, dude, I'm not saying I was like pro Chevy. I'm saying like, I hated Ford. I hated Ford. I wouldn't use their products. Now I like their cars. I don't like their trucks. And the fair, the fair thing is I did have some bad experiences in the past with their trucks. But anyway, so for like three years, the last three or four years,

my brother started driving for trucks and i gotta be honest they're really nice and i knew they were really nice i saw they were really nice but instead of me accepting that the truck was really nice and well built and they actually had made a change for the better i didn't say anything and every time i saw the truck dude it would make me mad like i'm like fuck why are they why is that truck so nice? Like, fuck that truck. Like I had this weird, like emotional reaction to it. And that's my ego, right? Cause I wanted to be right. I wanted Chevy, Chevy, Chevy. And guys, the truth is both of them make really nice trucks. So I decided to say, you know what? I know I've been the anti-Ford guy forever. And I know like, you know, I've said all this stuff about Ford, but I wanted to give it

a try. And I'll tell you what, dude, I bought a Ford truck for the first time I have in 15 years. And I love it. I love it. I've driven the shit out of it. I drive it almost every day. It runs perfect. It's comfortable. Everything about it I like. And shit out of it. I drive it almost every day. It runs perfect. It's comfortable.

Everything about it I like, and I'm super happy. And guess what I don't have? I don't have that hate anymore in me. I don't have that negativity. I don't have that anxiety. When I see a Chevy truck, I don't get mad at the Chevy truck. You know what I'm saying? I can still see the Chevy and I'm like, that's a good truck. And then when I get my Ford, I'm proud to drive the Ford too. So now I've like eliminated this negativity right out of my life. And I know that sounds silly, but when you can remove these false barriers and you could start to experience new things and become free to change your mind. And I'm talking about anything guys, you remove a tremendous amount of anxiety from your life. You remove a tremendous amount of anxiety from your life. You remove a tremendous amount of frustration from your life. You remove a tremendous amount of unnecessary negative energy

from your life. And guess what else? People love it. Okay. No one likes those guys. Everybody thinks that everybody likes those people that dig their heels in and they feel. I used to think that was cool, too, when I was like 20 years old. Right. I used to when I was 25 up until I was about 35 years old. Honestly, if I'm being totally honest with you, I used to think that was cool to be the guy who dug my heels in and I was this. So no matter what I realized was not only was a handicap in me in life, but it was making me unhappy.

And so right now, I want you to understand that it's okay to change your mind and it's a very liberating process and a healthy process so that you'll feel at peace with yourself by doing this. And you have to let go of what your friends are going to think. Most of your friends, if you're able to be the person who will look up the data, make a decision and stand on your own X, they're not going to ridicule you for it. They might tease you a little bit, but they'll respect it. I can promise you that. All right. So if you're having trouble right now and you're having trouble admitting that you saw something the wrong way or you didn't know the facts, understand that's okay. But we are at a critical time in this country. We are at a very critical time. And this is not

left or right or anything. This is about America and the constitution of America and the beliefs of America. And this also happens to be a skill that is useful in all areas of life. So I wanted to provide this tool for you guys to maybe help some of you guys who are struggling with your beliefs to start to um you know think about it maybe in a different way i understand dude just because you didn't know doesn't mean you're bad but if you did know and you continued that's not a good thing it's never going to bring you a win it's always going to bring you losses all right understand also admitting that you're wrong is not a weakness. It's a strength and people love and respect it. It's actually a sign of leadership. Great leaders are the best people at saying they were wrong. That's the truth. Okay. You bring up my friend, Jocko. Jocko's led people his whole life. This guy is an expert at being wrong real fast because

he understands that once he finds the truth that you can win. And this is something that you guys all have to understand in every area of life. Once you find the truth, you can win. Okay. And then we get to the point for the truth will set you free. What does this mean? It means it's liberating. It means it feels good. It means you're going to feel more at peace. You're going to feel more proud. You're going to have more confidence because you know you're doing something that you need to do.

All right. So guys, look, I know we covered a lot there. I just wanted to provide you guys with a tool that will maybe help you walk through the process of finding a new perspective. And I also wanted you to understand that, like, look, this is a very confusing time for everybody, a very frustrating time for everybody. And we're looking for a way to reduce the anxiety, reduce the pressure, reduce the stress. And I'm going to tell you, the first thing that you can do on this is to be okay with not knowing, be okay with observing, be okay with doing your

own research. But I'm going to tell you this also, the quickest way to be unhappy, the quickest way to be really embarrassed, the quickest way to be ashamed of some of the things that you believe in a long-term is to ignore the actual facts of what's going on because of your pride and your ego. You will always lose with that mentality. Okay. It's not about being right. It's about what's right.