REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 600. Q&AF: Money Isn't Everything, Loneliness In No Man's Land & Supporting Spouse

Episode Date: November 20, 2023

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on if it's better to stay with a company long term or chase a higher salary, how to deal with loneliness in no man's land, and what's the best way to support your spouse when starting a business. 

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. And welcome to Motherfucking Reality, guys. Today we have QNAF. That's where you get to submit questions and we give you the answers. Now, if you want to submit your questions to be answered on the show, there's a couple of different ways that you can do that. The first way is, guys, email those questions into askandy at andyfrasella.com. Or you can go down in the comments and drop your question right there and we will pick

some from there as well. Now, these questions can be about anything. It can be about what's going on in the world, but typically, we like to talk about how we're going to get better, entrepreneurship, business, personal development, how to be better people. Those are the questions that we like, but we'll take some about anything, whatever you guys want to know. Other times you tune in, we have CTI. That's where we talk about what's going on in the world. We speculate on what's true, what's not true, and then we talk about how we, the people, are we talk about what's going on in the world. We speculate on what's true, what's not true, and then we talk about how we, the people, are the solution to the problems going on in the world.

Other times we have real talk. That's just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. Sometimes we have full length. That's typically what you see whenever we have a guest come in and we have a conversation. And then sometimes we have 75 hard verses, and that's where someone who comes in who's completed the 75 hard program comes in and talks about how they were before, how they are after, and how you can get your shit together with the 75 hard program. So if you're interested in the 75 hard program and live hard program, you can get that for free at episode 208 on the audio feed.

That episode was released well before we were actually on YouTube. So go on the audio feed, wherever podcasts are, go to episode 208 on Real AF, you get the program for free. If you're one of those nuts and bolts, I got to know every single detail kind of person. There's a book available on the website called 75 Hard, and that's at andyfrisella.com. So with all that being said, we have this thing we call the fee. You'll hear us say pay the fee. That means, hey man, we don't run ads on the show you're going to realize that um unlike most shows especially shows of this size i pass on the income to run ads on the shows for a specific reason and the reason is first of all it's annoying but second of all um i don't want to be told what i can and can't say i don't want to have to filter my opinions or anything for for

money that's not what i'm about i'm an entrepreneur i built successful companies i don't want to have to filter my opinions or anything for money. That's not what I'm about. I'm an entrepreneur. I've built successful companies. I don't do this for the money. I actually pay a lot of money to produce this show. And all I ask in return is that you guys share the show. All right? So when I say pay the fee, that means share the show. We get banned.

We get censored. We get throttled. And, you know, if this information is to get out in the world, it has to be shared. So don't be a hoe. Share the show. All right. All right. What's up, man?

Happy Monday. Yeah, man. Monday morning. Ooh, what you got there? This is a little Screamin' Freedom. First Form Energy. You switching it up? I like this, dude.

Is Orange no longer number one? No, Orange is... I actually think the Tropic Lightning has... It's equal to the orange, at least. It's very, very good. But I like this, too. Like the Florida man and Missouri man. They're kind of the same. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're cousins. That's right.

They're first cousins, too. Right. Yeah. No, man. We're probably married. Yeah. Nothing, man. Just here to do the shit man you know it's been a it's been a weird couple weeks been traveling a lot been had a lot of stuff going on and you know here we are thanksgiving it's crazy that we're in the week of thanksgiving you know this year has gone by so quick bro you know the one thing like as you get older, the time definitely goes faster. And I know like that sounds weird to people who are like 25.

They're like, what's that mean? Like, bro, you'll see. Like, like they were putting up the Christmas tree here at first form headquarters. That's where we do the show for you guys that don't know. It's one of the companies that I own. I'm watching them put up the tree and I'm like fuck dude it seems like they were just taking that down like a week ago i know right you know like it was weird and santa's coming back yeah you know so it's crazy man um wait what did you like did you ever believe in santa and when

did you stop i mean yeah everybody believed in santa when they were kids right yeah and then you know you get on the school bus and the and the other kids tell you that it's bullshit. Yeah. I think of the school buses where I learned a lot of my stuff. You know what I mean? Like, I rode the bus with some older kids that were four or five years older than me, and they were kind of assholes. Shut the fuck up, kids.

Santa's not real. Right, exactly. Like, they were assholes. Yeah. So it is what it is. um there was this one year santa brought me uh the presents it was wrapped in newspaper though because everybody's got one like that before we couldn't uh everyone's gotten one like that that's not that's not your thing like i think most people have gotten a present wrapped in newspaper you everybody's

in here shaking their head yes no no i'm gonna die going to die. You know how we got? Oh, yeah, I'm going to die. I didn't celebrate Christmas. Oh. That sucks. No Christmas for him. That fucking sucks. Yeah. Yeah.

Huh. I'm trying to think what age I was when my dad was like, all right, I see you, mom. It's you. Yeah. I don't know. There's something magical about Christmas, man, like when you're a kid and you don't know any better and the shit, you know, it's just cool. Yeah. Yeah.

Hmm. Huh? Yeah, they are the magic. Parents are the magic. Well, I'm just saying, like, how do we know Santa's not, though? You know what I'm saying? Like, there's historical context and, like, you know, like, we got Bigfoot explorers and shit. Like.

Bro, come on. We got a show to do. I'm just saying. But, guys, let's get into it, man. man andy guys i got some good ones for you i got three of them uh let's get with the first one though uh hi andy uh like some things you just can't entertain dude like i can't entertain a 28 year old man talking about fucking santa claus like When we talk about handling your family members at fucking Thanksgiving, that's how you handle them. Oh, I'm a

she-her when they're clear. I'm a she-her. Look bro, we got Thanksgiving to do. Andy, let me stuff the turkey. Yeah, I bet you like that, I bet you like that. Yeah. I bet you like that.

All right, guys. Andy, question number one. Andy, what is your take on the saying that money isn't everything when it comes to job opportunities? Okay. So I currently work for a small, young company with a great work culture environment that has none of the corporate bullshit but i get paid below my industry standard i've advocated for myself and asking for more money but the response was not promising i was recently contacted by a company that provides a 40 increase in my salary on top of bonuses and benefits but the company boasts

about their esg di, which is a huge turnoff. Yeah. What is your advice on staying with the company versus chasing higher salaries? Well, first of all, money isn't everything. Okay? Like, you have to make enough money to live your life. Look, there's a lot to this, all right?

This is kind of an involved question. It depends on where you're at in your life, first of all. Okay. You have to consider all things. All right. Do I like working here? Do I like the people I'm around? Do I feel like we're on a worthy mission?

Do I think the work that we do is real? Do I think it actually matters? These are questions to ask because you're going to spend most of your time at your work. All right. We spend what we go home at five o'clock and we spend the evenings at home and the most of the week during the day in our productive hours, we're spending at a job. It's very important to spend that time in a place that you enjoy. But here's the tactical advantage to doing that. When you're actually in a place that you enjoy, you're likely to get in a position where you make much more money because you become better at what you do because you

enjoy what you do. All right. And where a lot of young people make mistakes is they put themselves just like this person in a situation where they kind of sell their soul for some more money and they put themselves in an unbearable, miserable situation that they can't last in. All right. So how good is that rate raise and pay if you can't go to work and perform because you hate what you do, you hate the people around you, you don't believe in the mission and that's going to handicap your work ethic. And likely what will happen is you will stand out as someone who's not performing and eventually lose that pay anyway. Okay. So we have to think about this

from all different directions. When you're young and you're, let's say under 30 years old, the biggest thing that you're looking to gain is actual skill set. You are looking to pay your bills. Yes. You are looking to take care of your responsibilities. Yes. You are looking for a company that has massive career upside. Yes. But at the end of the day, what you really need to develop is skill set. And so you have to get in an environment where you can learn a whole bunch of skills that'll be valuable that you can take anywhere that you want to go in your life. Right? So when we think about these, these incredibly, you know, nuanced and difficult life decisions that we all have to make, it's never just about money.

It's only, only about money when you don't have any, okay? But the reality is, bro, your mental well-being, your drive, your ambition, your fire for what you do, that's the thing that's actually going to help you create more money. And sometimes you don't get that up front. Sometimes you have to just get in a situation that you really enjoy, that you find purpose in, where you're actually contributing to people, you believe in the products that you're selling or that your company's selling, and you work in something that you really enjoy. And what that does is that develops not just a skill set, but also the passion that you have for it will allow you to move up the ranks and then the money starts to come, right? So there's all kinds of ways

to think about this. Now, sometimes when you're young, and this is a very important thing, like a lot of people put themselves in highly leveraged positions when they're very young, right? They go out and they get in a lot of debt. They go out and they have kids when they're 20 years old. And I'm not knocking that. I actually think there should be more of that. But the reality is, is that the more debt and the more obligation you have, the less flexibility you have to move forward in something that you enjoy. And so this is something to think about as well. You know, something my dad always told me and Sal, as weird

as it is, is, hey man, don't do drugs and don't have any babies. Okay. Like he would tell us that when we were kids, because like he knew that like if we got into drugs or we had kids at a young age like got some random girl pregnant that would significantly hinder our forward progression in life okay so these are things that we must consider when making these decisions and if you are someone who's let's say 25 and you do have some obligations then you're probably willing to go somewhere that pays a little bit more money and deal with something that's a little less passion-based, right, to take care of what you do. And here's the ultimate reality, guys. We do not always love what we do. There's days when I come in here in this building, which by the way, I believe that we run the best first form, okay,

I believe is the best run company of any company on the planet I believe in every single entrepreneur that comes here high level doesn't matter who they are I mean I've had everybody in here whether they've been on the show or not they agree they're like dude there's nothing like this and there are still days when I wake up and I'm like fuck I'd rather do something else you know what I'm saying like Like, it's not always fun. Like we're going to have to fight. And I think with young people, there's this big misconception that every single day that we wake up, there's going to be, it's, it's going to be amazing. And when it's not

amazing and we go through these stints that last, you know, weeks or months where things just don't feel right, we quit and we look for something new. But here's the thing. It's like chasing a relationship, right? Like a lot of people will go relationship, relationship, relationship, relationship, relationship because they can't figure out that the only reason that shit doesn't feel right is because it's not new anymore. You know, like the newness of a relationship. That new car smell. Yeah, bro.

And people believe that like that's quote unquote love. That's not love. That new, that's infatuation. It's lust. Right. That's lust. And it's new. And people, people will throw their entire lives away chasing that over and over and over again, thinking that, you know, they're not in love or whatever. Right. But they really just don't have an understanding of what that really means. And this, people do this in their careers too. They'll spend two or three years at a career. And when it starts to get a little monotonous, they go to something else. But here's the problem. When it starts to get a little monotonous, that's where the separator happens. That's where you have to push through because everybody else kind of stops. They find their ceiling or they move on or they go somewhere else. And you start to push through the monotonous. And then an opportunity comes that's a new opportunity within the same organization and you move up this is how when you look at organizations and you see people who are on the board of directors who started out in the warehouse at seven dollars an hour this is how they did it they put they

didn't show up here every day and say man this is the fucking this is great this is like going to disneyland right like they showed up well that not great, but you get what I'm saying Yeah, it's not like you'll end up walking out like you know in debt yeah, right yeah, no shit Oh now badges you walk out fucked up. That's for sure, but the point is is that no Mickey no Don't touch me there I said her like dude but here's the point mini now yeah that's right it's mini okay look dude here's the thing we have to push through these monotonous times in order to come out the other side with a new skill set a new understanding that we can then utilize to progress our lives yeah so like bro this idea

and it's i feel really bad for young people man because you guys have to watch all these fake entrepreneurs and fake successful people on internet and short form content all fucking day long. I didn't have to watch that. OK, like I didn't I just knew the people in my life that I knew and I knew most of my friends were going to school to get a regular job and I was doing something different and I didn't have to watch all these people who were my age saying, oh, dude, check out this. I made seven7,000 the last week doing this and this and this. And I slept in for half the, like all these lies and all this marketing that's presented as real life through these fake entrepreneur people that corrupts people's mind. That makes people think that

they don't realize that these people are completely lying to try and sell things to them. And they start to feel like they're doing the wrong thing by working a regular job or building they don't realize that these people are completely lying to try and sell things to them. And they start to feel like they're doing the wrong thing by working a regular job or building a career. I'm here to tell you, bro, the real shit entrepreneur life is not for everybody. It's, it's fucking seven to 8% of the population and less than 1% of that seven to 8% is a million dollar a year earner. That's reality. Those are the stats. That's the data. Okay?

So it's very, very, very hard. It's no different than being on the University of Alabama. It's no different than playing on the fucking Kansas City Chiefs. Like you have to be that good to become a million dollar earner. All right? But if you become that level of employee, there's lots of companies where you can make that kind of money and potentially get equity and potentially get stock and build a real life for yourself and that comes from not changing the direct like what if patrick mahomes every time he had two or three bad games growing up he said i'm gonna switch sports would he be patrick mahomes no you see

what i'm saying and this is what people do with their lives. It's what people do with their relationships. And then they wake up at 40 years old and they're like, what the fuck happened? Well, bro, you didn't listen to your Uncle Andy, man. I told you what would happen. I've been telling you what would happen for almost a decade now. You can't get caught in the hamster wheel. And the way you get caught in the hamster wheel is by switching your life up every two or three years when the newness wears off and doing something else.

True greatness comes with time as being a part of that recipe. And if you do not put in the time, the greatness can't exist. Nobody builds a great life in three years. It doesn't happen. No matter what the internet says, no matter what anybody on the internet says. So pushing through the monotonous shit is a requirement. You just don't realize that after you push through the monotonous for a a requirement. You just don't realize that after you push through the monotonous for a little bit, it gets cool again. And then you

push through it again and it gets cool again. And this is phases. It goes up and it goes down. It goes up and it goes down. And if your performance is consistent through the ups and downs, eventually you find yourself a million miles away from where you are in a much better position. And so money isn't everything you should ask all these questions you should consider what it is you're doing because the reality is if you don't love what you're doing you're very it's highly unlikely that you're going to be successful at it anyway so like if you take a little bit more money up front what is that costing you on the back side values right yeah well dude it's costing you real success later yeah you see what i'm saying so

there's a lot of ways to look at this and it just depends on where you are in the journey you know if you're a 30 year old guy who has five kids to support bro you got to do what you got to do and there's nothing wrong with that do it well set a good example you know what i mean like if you've got to if you've got to become a tradesman or whatever it is you do, that's a noble thing. It's a noble thing to do that kind of work. It's really a noble thing to do any work and do it well, in my opinion. I don't really care what the pay is. It's the ethics.

It's the work. It's the example. It's the ethos. Huh? It's the ethos behind it. Yeah, that's right. And like, dude, there needs to be a lot more. I'll tell you this. I respect a dude who is a plumber who does great plumbing work a fucking gazillion times more than some dumbass on the Internet talking about their Lamborghini.

Right. Real talk. 100%. Who would you rather hang out with? Who would you rather be around? Who would you rather have your kids around? See what I'm saying? Absolutely.

So there's nothing wrong with doing those things, guys. Don't let the Internet fool you that having a career and working hard is some sort of you're you're fucking it up these people those people that you see will be broke their entire lives they're pretending they will never figure it out okay so that's my answer i love it man guys andy question number two andy i've been in no man's land for almost five years now. With the company I'm building, all I can do without the finances is network and build a following, which is going great. My problem is the loneliness of no man's land. How did you make it more tolerable? How did you stay in the right mindset when it seemed like everyone disappeared? Well, a couple of things. One, we have to understand the reality of life.

Okay. Just be, there's not a single per there's really not a single person that exists that has the same friend circle that they had when they were in high school, unless they've never grown or never evolved. And they just stay where they were and kept doing the same things, kept going to the same parties, the same bars, the same activities. And, you know, they don't have much else in their life. And those people will are very good at like propping up. I'm, I'm my, my friends and my life and I'm loyal and loyalty and all this shit. Right. But the reality is, is anybody who's building something good is going to cycle through relationships over the course of time.

You're going to, you're going to find friends and then those friends are not going to want to grow at the same rate you're growing. And, and you're going to feel alone and then you're going to find new friends. And when you find new friends, um, they're going to be more aligned with what it is you're doing. And if you keep going, you'll outgrow them as well. And it's painful to outgrow those friends because you also, you end up having, if you're a good person, you end up having a little bit of guilt. You like kind of think like, fuck man, you know, I wish I could go. But here's the problem is that when you're around those people, because you're trying to grow and they're not, they try to convince you that you're doing something immoral. That's just the way culture

is. You know, you're, you've changed or you're greedy or you're different than you used to be. When in reality on your, what you're trying to do, that's the point. I'm trying to get better. I'm trying to improve. I'm trying to become better at what I do and they're shaming you for it. And that's not good for you to be around. So when we move to the, through these friend cycles, we have to understand that if you're an ambitious person, you're committed to growth. This is a natural reality of the path. OK, and eventually you'll find yourself in a network where everybody's kind of aligned and everybody like like my friend network. Now, I don't see my friends.

My friends are all over the country or they're here in this building. Right. And I don't have to like be around them all the time to know that they're there. And when i have problems that i care about guess what i do i call them up or they call me up and we talk through things and so the the reality of the game is is that friends rarely stay for forever and so there's this thing in society where it's like that's how it's you're supposed to keep your friends for your whole life and and dude that's just not real it's not a real thing no okay not's you're supposed to keep your friends for your whole life and and dude that's

just not real it's not a real thing no okay not if you're trying to do things um you're not gonna you're not gonna be worth a billion dollars and go hang out with people that that you know think you're bragging because you're just talking about things going on in your life it's not fun to do right so that's the first thing the second is, is no man's land shouldn't last for five years, bro. Like you should be working to maintain, like a lot of people will say, Oh, I'm in no man's land, but they're also not putting any effort into networking or having relationships or building friendships. And they're just pouring themselves into their work so much. And they're neglecting all the other things. And then what they do is they make it everybody else's fault. Nobody wants

to be around me. Nobody likes me. Nobody. And it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because you're not making any effort yourself. You can't expect people to come find you. You have to make some effort as well. And so getting around people intentionally, and this is where something like the Arte Syndicate is a good thing for people. Okay. Because the Arte Syndicate, if you're well and so getting around people intentionally and this is where something like the arte syndicate is a good thing for people okay because the arte syndicate if you're unfamiliar is a group that ed mylett and i put on which is real business owners doing real things in real life and what happens is is people find new friends in that group that support their vision that work with them and help push them the same place that they are correct yeah so you have to proactively seek relationships that make sense for where

you're at. And that's a real thing that, you know, a lot of people neglect because they think there's some sort of badge of honor of having no friends or being all alone. But bro, that creates misery, man. Like one of the most anxious feelings that you're ever going to have is feeling like everybody else doesn't give a fuck about you. When in reality, that's not really what's going on. What's going on is you've been so dedicated to your own thing that you haven't put any effort into anybody else's stuff or talk to anybody. And they're just doing their own thing. And you can't be mad about that. There's been periods of my life where I have become borderline bitter thinking like, well, nobody likes me. But when I really am honest with myself, it's not that nobody likes me. It's that I'm not giving any effort into those relationships as

well. So like, because I'm so busy, I'm focused on my own shit. I'm not calling people saying, hey man, how you doing? Or what can I do? Or this or that. And that's something that, you know, you have to be proactive about if you don't want to feel completely alone. Because if you don't do those things, you'll stay in that position of no man's land forever. So especially because we have to remember you're moving up, right? So when you move up into a friend group, you're the new person that these people aren't going to come to you. Like you're not going to just start making a million dollars a year, a million dollars

a month or whatever it is you're trying to make. And all the people of the same caliber are going to find you. They're not, they don't care. They've already been living that life. million dollars a year a million dollars a month or whatever it is you're trying to make and all the people of the same caliber are going to find you they're not they don't care they've already been living that life you're going to have to insert yourself by making effort and making value for them to become friends with those people so like if you're not actively doing that yes you're going to feel alone so you know ask yourself you know are you making a real effort or are you kind of waiting around for people to join your thing yeah can you can you touch on this a little bit because this is actually something i feel like i've seen this in action a few times um just being around

you but can you talk about the intent behind making those new relationships when you're moving up that next rung in that ladder can you you talk a little bit about the intent, right? Like, because there is a sniff test that those people on that ladder have. And the intent will get sniffed out very, very quickly. Can you talk about that? Yeah, so here's what happens. So when you have a young buck coming up the ladder, right,

and they're doing good, maybe they're making some money, they're becoming successful, they start thinking they thinking they're like the smartest person ever like you they start thinking like fuck i'm the only person of all my friends making all this money but you don't realize bro you're not swimming with the big dogs in the ocean bro you're swimming in a puddle okay like you're you don't recognize that you're not in you're not even in the real game you're not a pet co-breeder Yeah, so you sure as fuck are not the smartest motherfucker in the world Yeah

All right And what happens is is that these people start making some income and they start to believe they're real smart real slick and they believe They can kind of fool the people up the chain, but look dude. There's been a million of you. You don't understand this There's been a million of you come along That come in with the intent of I'm gonna try to get close to this person so i can get something right okay and so people who are up the chain they are fucking highly tuned at sniffing out people who are hanger honors or trying to get all right so there's this long lag time period that you have to basically like prove that you're there to contribute, not there to take.

And eventually the guard gets let down and you start having a real relationship. But a lot of people aren't willing to put in that time because they're so focused on what they can get, not what they can give. And so, you know, I get this all the time, bro. I get DMs from people all the fucking time who are like, man, you know, I'm doing this and this and this and this and this. We should hang or we should do this or I want to be in your circle. I wanted this. Bro, there's zero chance. It's not happening.

It's not happening unless I've known you for like years and you know a whole bunch of people that I know that all vouch for you. It's not fucking happening. Bro, I've been fucked over by so many people. Like I've been embarrassed. I've associated with so many people. Like I've, I've been, I've been embarrassed. I've associated with the wrong people. There's so many people that I've associated with over the years that I wish I hadn't because I didn't know any better or they were good at pretending. And that's over 25 years of experience. And when you're a good hearted person, you know, you want to welcome people in

and you want to take care of people and you want people to win. But you have to realize that most people aren't good when they're trying to get. And so, like, if you're a young person and you're trying to move up in your circle and you're trying to get into a group and you're trying, you have to put your individual desires on the way back burner. And those should only come out when someone in that group asks you, what can I do for you? After you've already done a billion things for them. You know what I'm saying? That's how it works. Yes, you have to pay your dues. And this is reality, bro.

Like if I was working to get into a higher friend group, I'm not fucking asking people for shit. The minute you ask somebody for shit, they fucking ghost you, bro. You're out. You're out you're out so like and dude it's crazy how many of these young people will hit me up in dms like cold up asking me for shit you know what i mean like yeah like you guys are you guys are not aware of how it works and then you realize like you you you can't figure out why you can't get in somewhere and you know then you end up thinking like those people are all assholes well no that's not actually

what's going on what's actually going on is they've seen a million people just like you come in and fucking causing problems whether it be drama or or screw them over or bullshit bro i fuck man i could tell you a million stories like this yeah so the more successful people get the more the guard goes up because there's so many people coming at them that they're like, no, I don't need any more friends. Like, bro, I don't want any more friends. I thought, and I'm talking me literally, I do not want any more friends. I don't want anything from anybody. I don't need anything from anybody. I don't want anything. Like if I am putting interest in you, it's because I see something that I believe in that I think I can help with. And I don't expect anything in return. Like I have given away, I have just subscribed myself to this mentality of I'm, if I give, I'm giving, I'm not loaning. I'm not expecting in

return. You know, like I'm some, one thing I like to do is I like to meet with young business owners locally. It's like, sometimes I meet with young business owners at my garage at my house i invite them over locally we have a cigar we talk about business i'll do a whiteboard with them and i don't need it they're like well what can i do nothing i'm not doing this i'm not i'm doing this because i think i can help you and it doesn't really cost me shit i don't want anything in return but also i'm not giving you any more than that. You know what I'm saying? Like, we're not going to fucking hold hands.

We're not going to, I'm not drinking beer with you. I'm just trying to give you a little bit of fucking info so it can save you some time. Because I believe that entrepreneurs are the cure to what's going on in society. So I try to contribute in that way. But, I mean, dude, it is it you have to pour into people before they'll actually accept you into their group if you're moving up the ladder and and a lot of people aren't willing to put in that time or effort or energy or they misunderstand the amount of time effort or energy that it actually takes yeah you know like and those are just bro imagine for 25 years if like 80 of the people that you let close to you turned out to be flakes and either fucked you over or caused you drama or caused you gossip.

Like, dude, I'm at the point now where like if I do something for someone and they cause me any type of fucking drama whatsoever, I just cut them the fuck out. I just don't even deal with it. I don't care. You know? And that's how all those people are. Yeah. So, you know, if you want to move up in your friend circle the answer to the question is this make sure that you're you're putting make sure

you're not you're not i would audit whether or not you're actually in no man's land or whether you are actually not putting into any effort to build a new friend circle and i would take advantage of groups like arte syndicateicate. I would try to get around people who are higher up the chain than you. And I would work to contribute value to them any way possible. And that doesn't look like, you know, Hey man, what can I do to provide value for you? That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about you using your own skillset, your own perception to do things that benefit those people, to show them that you're not there to take, you're there to contribute. And it to take you're there to contribute and it once you're there to contribute everybody's there to contribute and

you'll get contributed to as well over the course of time but it's not a transactional thing you'll get sniffed out you kicked off the ladder i love it man i fucking love that guys any question number three third and final question hey eddie my husband and i are 30 years old and we have three kids under the age of five he has always wanted to start his own business but how do i support him in doing this when i'm fearful of losing his income to build his company i don't ever want to hold him back or be the reason he doesn't pursue something but i don't think it's crazy to be concerned about the money and having his income on top of mine to keep the bills paid. Any advice on this?

Yeah, I mean, a lot of people make this transition. Okay, yeah, I have a lot of advice. Okay, first of all, you have to understand, like to do entrepreneurship in a real way is probably the hardest thing that you're ever going to do in your entire life. All right. You have to be mentally prepared and you have to be built for it. This is why I cannot stand the online entrepreneur space, quote unquote, because so many of these people make it sound like it's so easy and it's so quick and

it's so fast and it's for everyone and what ends up happening is people when they get into the game they get their ass beat and they're like fuck i'm doing something wrong no you're not doing anything wrong man it's just hard yeah and so I come from the place of this. Understand this is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done and work to prepare yourself and build yourself into someone who can tolerate that path. All right. So that's the first thing. I want, the first thing is this, make sure that you're not just buying into the idea

of becoming an entrepreneur because it's what's going on in the world right now. This idea that you're more free, you have more free time, you make more money, that's fucking bullshit. That happens when you're like 15 years into the fucking journey, not a month, okay? Not the next week when you quit your job. Like the amount of misunderstanding when it comes to this is insane to me. And maybe it's just because I've done it.

But we're propagated day in and day out by these messages that entrepreneurship is very easy and that anybody can do it. And that's simply not the truth. Statistically, it's not the truth. All right? So first question is, is this something that you're truly committed to over the course of your life? Or is this something that you want to do because it seems like everybody else is doing it?

Or is this something you're wanting to do because you're upset with your current situation, okay? Because if it's not something that you're going to commit to from here until the time you can see it through to fruition, which is probably your whole life, it's not worth doing because it's too hard of a journey. You won't be successful. And you'll find yourself right back in the position where you are doing the same thing you're doing now three or four years down the road. And you've just lost three or four years

of progress in that thing. All right. So first off, are you really committed to this? Is this something that you truly want to do? Secondly, transitioning from a regular job to a business owner or entrepreneur, people think they got to rip the bandaid off and just jump in. That's not actually how most successful people do it. How they do it is they work their job and then at nighttime or the free time they have, they start to build their business and it becomes like a side project at first. All right. And then they make they get a little bit going. They get a little bit more going and they get a little bit more going.

And then they come to a point where they can't get any more going financially, business wise, without the time available from their day job. Right. When you get to a point where you can cover your bills and you can survive financially and the day job is holding you back from growing this further, that's the time where you make the jump from your rain gig to the side gig and make the side gig your main gig. Does that make sense? Okay. So people don't do this transition properly and it ends up ruining their whole thing because they pull the bandaid off and then three months down the road, they can't pay any of their bills. Another thing is when you make that jump, you should be in a position where you could financially float your bills for a number of months in advance. And this might require you downsizing your life. This might require you going from a $300,000 home or a $200,000 home

back to an apartment. This might require you selling your nice $50,000 pickup truck and going to a $10,000 beater. Okay. So when you downsize your financial liabilities, you have less restraint and more freedom on what you can do. So these are all things to consider. But when I hear questions like this, the main thing that bothers me the most is I worry that people are jumping into things because the internet culture makes it seem like it's something that it actually isn't. And that concerns me.

Entrepreneurship is incredibly rewarding, but it's also incredibly difficult, all i'm very good at entrepreneurship that my my wins my scoreboard has a hundred motherfucking points on it okay it's i there are days when i wake up where i'm like i cannot fucking do this you know and i'm good at it dude you know what i'm saying yeah and let me tell you something all these other entrepreneurs that you know on the internet as like these main fucking top level guys i'm tell you i'm friends with them there's days where they had that too where they're like fuck bro this is fucking hard so if it's hard for them you have to understand how hard it's going to be for you not knowing what they know just getting started dude it's the hardest thing you will ever do in your entire life and i'm not saying that to scare you i'm saying

that so that you can prepare yourselves mentally for the path that you're about to embark on it's hard and that this is why i get so frustrated with the culture of this game because everybody makes it seem like it's not it's just not for everybody dude yeah it's like it's statistically what it is it's it's seven to eight percent of the population with less than one percent of those earning a million dollars a year that's reality okay now if you're going to become i'm not saying every single one of you out here could likely become one of those people making that kind of money but the reality is you're going to have to trade a lot for it it's not not going to be easy. It's not going to be

as simple as downloading a course or a program or a funnel or a this or that or this. It's going to be incredibly difficult. You're going to lose a lot of sleep. You're going to wake up with a lot of stress. You're going to live a life of anxiety and frustration and pain almost every single day. Like it's just something that most people are not cut out to deal with. It's a different level of responsibility that is hard. And so, you know, to answer the question, and I'm not fucking discouraging you guys, because you can do it if you become the kind of person who does those things. You just have to prepare yourself for it.

This is why the Live Hard program is such a valuable program because it increases all the skill sets that you need. Discipline, grit, fortitude, self-confidence, self-belief, self-esteem, the ability to endure. These are the skill sets needed in entrepreneurship to succeed. So if you don't have those, go do the Live Hard program and do it every single year because those skills need to be sharpened over and over and over and over and over again as you go down the path. So that's why I did the program, all right? But here's the thing. Ask yourself, what is it and why is it that I want to do this? And be honest, what do I expect from this? Am I committed to this for the rest of my life? Is this something I'm doing because it's popular or is this something

I'm doing because I'm called to do it? Do I actually love what it is I'm trying to do? And that's an important factor too. There's a lot of people who say you don't have to love what you do. I disagree. I believe that you do have to ultimately love what you do because it's so hard at certain points in time that the love for what you do will be the only thing that pulls you through that process, right? Like there's been a lot of times, dude, where there's been a number of times, I'll just be candid, where I've had the ability to sell my entire company. And we're not talking about a little bit of money. We're talking about money where I never have to do shit ever again. And what I've thought about during those times is, okay, well, what do I love? Well, what I love is, is I love seeing people change their lives. I love seeing people

go from a place of confusion and uncomfortableness to a place of confidence and certainty and physical, you know, a better physical state, a better mental state. I love helping people develop their careers. I love seeing people progress. And that's not worth money to me. You see what I'm saying? So we have to like, there's all these things that we have to consider when we think about, should we do it or should we not? And I'll close this question with this very simply. There's nothing that any of you can't do. It's just what are you willing to pay to do it? And if the answer isn't I'm willing to do whatever the fuck it takes,

then you shouldn't do it because that's what it takes. I love that, man. I love it. Well, guys, Andy, that was three. All right, guys. Appreciate you guys. I love you guys. Go pay the fee.