REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 603. Q&AF: Supporting Small Pro-American Businesses, Business Partnership Responsibilities & Having Hard Conversations

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on what's the best way to support small local pro-American businesses after COVID shut down a lot of small businesses, how to amend a business partnersh...ip that didn't have clear expectations off the start, and how to have hard conversations with your family, friends, and colleagues.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realest say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys. Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the AFs. Now you can submit your questions, which can be about anything, a few different ways. The first way is, guys, email those questions in to askandy at andyfrasella.com. Or you can go on YouTube and under the Q&AF episodes, which air every Monday, you can
Starting point is 00:00:43 drop your question in the comments and we'll pick some from there as well. Now, other times you tune in, we have different formats of the show shows within the show. All right. We have CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet. That's where we talk about what's going on in the world. And we speculate on what's true and what's not true. And then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems that these assholes create for us. Then we have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk something i think you need to hear needs to be heard
Starting point is 00:01:09 then we have full length full length is uh typically what you see on every other podcast where a guest comes in and we just have a conversation and then we have 75 hard verses 75 hard verses is where we have somebody who has completed 75 hard and taken their life from a dumpster fire to uh not a dumpster fire. And then we talk about how they did it and how you can do it, too. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the world's biggest mental recalibration program. You can learn about it for free and get it for free at Episode 208. Or you could buy the book.
Starting point is 00:01:42 The book is available on my website, andyfersella.com. It's unnecessary to buy, but if you like the nuts and bolts of the program, it'll explain it in depth. And just so you know, we do have a new book getting ready to launch. It's going to launch on January 1st, 2024. So keep an eye out for that as well. Now, for all the information that we give out here, which is valuable, it's based on my 25 years, soon to be 25 years, about another 30 days, of entrepreneurship and business experience. And what we like to do is we like to ask very simply that you share the information. If what you hear on the show makes you think, makes you laugh, you find it valuable,
Starting point is 00:02:20 change your perspective, it's something that helps you learn a real skill, which I promise you we will help you with that. We just ask that you share the show okay because of the nature of what we talk about on our cti episodes which is the things that are uncomfortable to talk about we get shadow banned throttled and uh we really depend on you guys to get behind us and share the show and share the message so uh when we say pay the fee that's what that means um don't be a hoe share the show. All right. What's up?
Starting point is 00:02:47 What's going on, man? Happy Monday. Yeah, man. What's going on? Oh, you know, getting back into it. Yeah. Yeah. Same thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:54 What's going on? What's new with you? Nothing, man. Nothing. Just, uh, I'm just ready to get, get back into like, I feel like this time of year is always like frustrating because like half the people I deal with are like checked out. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:03:13 And there's nothing worse than when you're like a high drive, ambitious, go, go, go type person. And people check out like it's, it's very frustrating. So like,
Starting point is 00:03:22 I'm just ready, you know, to get through this next 30 days or so and get back into fucking business for most people yeah i mean i never slow down dude it's been a hell of a year though man for a lot of people i think that that's the other thing too it's like it's it's been an it's been a lot going on yeah you know it's gonna get way worse yeah well i mean on top of that too though i feel like it's also gone by super quick. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:45 I feel like that, too. Like, it's already fucking November, man. Yeah. Like, at the end of November. You know what I'm saying? It's just been going by super, super quick, man. And so I think it's, for some reason, it's like the holiday times is always the time people start to slow down and try to ground themselves before they last. Yeah, the problem is, bro, for a lot of people, especially with their fitness, is they just give up.
Starting point is 00:04:05 And they'll put on 10, 15 pounds in 45 days. Yeah. And, bro, that 10, 15 pounds is going to take you 60 days to get off. You know what I mean? Like, it's just in a real way. Yeah. You know, if you do it the right way. But, you know, a lot of people during this time of year, they create a bigger mountain for them to climb.
Starting point is 00:04:23 And if I were to recommend it i would say to avoid that yeah just try to maintain where you are right now yeah or try to get better right now yeah you know everybody else is getting worse so if you can get better it widens the gap yeah absolutely man absolutely um well so no one's surprised got some good ones for you. All right. Let's get it. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, COVID really killed a lot of small businesses and shifted the wealth over to the big companies like Walmart, Amazon, et cetera. Now with a few small-sized businesses, they're getting back to somewhat normal. What do you think would be the best way for us as Americans to support small, local, pro-American businesses in spite of the ultra convenient way the big box stores do business?
Starting point is 00:05:11 How do you compete with that? You just have to inconvenience yourself. You have to understand that when you make an investment in a real company owned by real Americans that employs people in their community, these are things that you're gonna have to do if you want the economy to uh continue to provide jobs and provide value and not be owned by three or four mega corporations uh and then by the way if they own all if we have three or four mega corporations we have basically one culture being dictated to us, which is the woke culture that we all fucking hate. Okay. So if you don't want them to be in control of everything, you have to understand that it's going to take some conscious effort to move outside the realm of what is convenient to taking pride in doing things that are inconvenient to support real American people, not the, you know,
Starting point is 00:06:06 the Walmarts and the Amazons of the world. Right. I'm going to tell you this too. This is real important for you guys to understand. They're going to try to close a bunch more businesses between now and election time. Okay. So whatever they have planned, I've been talking to you guys on CTI about this for years now. It's a pandemic or a war and they're going to use whatever assets they have necessary. It might be both to shut down business again and use it as a way to scrape even more into their coffers. And you guys have to be preemptively prepared for that. And that means you're going to have to prepare your mind that you are not going to give in. You are not going to close your business.
Starting point is 00:06:45 You're not going to comply with anything that they say. And that process should start now. Like you should start realizing that over the next year, probably a year to the day from now, it's probably going to be one of the hardest times in America to own a business that has ever existed for multiple reasons. Now, what does that mean for you? That means that you're going to have to get extra diligent and aggressive about not just staying in business, but also evolving your business to be more successful. A lot of times when the economy shifts and things change and we go through hardships, people shift into this mindset of just staying open and just staying open will get you killed by default because just staying open means that you're not trying to improve.
Starting point is 00:07:33 You're not trying to evolve. You're not trying to press forward. And basically what it does is it puts you into a mental place where your mentality goes from we're trying to become something, we're trying to build something, we're trying to grow something, to we're trying to maintain this thing. And the law of business still applies even during hard times, which means there is no maintaining. There is only moving forward and then there is falling behind because the world is going to continue to move forward even through hard times. So we as business operators have to understand that as
Starting point is 00:08:11 hard as it is and as hard as it might get, it's going to be important to stay on your A game, to make sure you're doing a great job, to not lax your standards in any way, and to continue to try to push forward. And for the businesses that that make it through which will all of those businesses that make it through will operate the way i just said when things get better again which they will they will be sprinting at a full pace where everybody else is kind of picking up the pieces and try and it takes them two or three years to try and you know get it going right um well those companies being two to three years yeah it gives you a two to three year head start on everybody else because like so many companies will just go into this like maintain shit. You know what I mean? So there's that. But I think the main thing is, is like, dude, we have to be real. We have to inconvenience ourselves to shop with people intentionally. It's not that inconvenient. It's not that inconvenient to, you know, to not order things on Amazon and actually just order them from the company directly. That's not that inconvenient. It's not that inconvenient to, you know, to not order things on Amazon and to actually just order them from the company directly. That's not that bad.
Starting point is 00:09:10 Like, order them from the company. You know, it's not that inconvenient to, you know, go support small locally owned businesses or even medium sized locally owned businesses. It's not that inconvenient to look at a company who may not be small and say we're supporting like we get that here in st louis with first form and s2 right like st louis is an amazing fucking town like everybody's like why why do you live in st louis well you'll never get it because you don't live here but i love the people here and i love this community i love this town and they are they treat us very well and even though we've become bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger, they still understand that we're a small business in the scheme of things and that we're providing jobs and building careers in a pro-American way. Right. Right. So we get massive support. And what happens
Starting point is 00:09:55 is the community rallies behind us and we continue to do better and better and better. Like one of the biggest driving factors of our companies is our support that we get here locally. You know, we don't talk about it enough, but that's the truth. You know, if you walk through St. Louis, bro, there's a good chance people are wearing first form shit, drinking a first form energy, or at least shopping at our retail stores. And they're proud of it. It's not, it's not like, Oh yeah, these local guys, they're like, no fucking first form is fucking St. Louis. Right. And like like there's a pride there and um for those of you guys that own businesses i would lean into that with your communities you know get involved with your communities get involved with with the people
Starting point is 00:10:34 in your town become a place that they're proud to patronize and proud to support because and you do that by treating them extra well right um and then reinvesting in the community over the course of time. But, dude, small business entrepreneurs are under attack. And we're going to have our hands full this next 12 months. It's going to be very important that you guys don't comply with any of the shit that's going on and to make sure that you keep moving forward and not get in this rut of maintaining. Yeah. I love it, man. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Guys, question number two. Andy. Andy, I'm in high school and I have recently started a Christmas light installation business with one of my closest friends. We both put money into the advertising and equipment, but I feel like I invest way more than he does in the business. I was the one who came up with the idea to start the business. We use my truck and trailer, my ladders. I make all of our ads, made our logo, etc. All he has done is invest his money. He also would rather go out and party instead of working on the business on the weekends. When I brought up the topic of ownership of the company, he thinks this is 50-50. Should I just bluntly tell him that we can't work
Starting point is 00:11:42 like this together or should I try to paint a picture of how I see it and try to amend the situation? What advice do you have for me? Well, first of all, you should never get into a business without clear expectations and understanding of what's what to start. This is how you get in messes like this. A lot of young entrepreneurs will get in these mentalities. And by the way, I'm the same. You know, Chris is my best friend. So that's how we started the business. Where they want to build a business, they want to do it with their friends, which is a noble thought.
Starting point is 00:12:14 I'm going to say it sounds good. It does sound good. And it can be good. But it can only be good when both partners are bringing different things to the table. All right? And the reality of this situation is he brought something to the table that you didn't have, which was capital. And that's a normal business relationship.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Over the course of time, as your business grows, there's going to be situations where you borrow money from the bank or you get an investment from a silent investor. Well, that silent investor isn't required to come in and do the operations. He gave you the money. He gave you the money. That was his part. Right.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Okay? So that's what it sounds like to me is that's what his understanding, the other guy's understanding of the deal is, which is a deal. That's a very real thing. There's a lot of people who invest, they're called investors, that don't do shit with the operations of the business so what this sounds like to me is you came up with a good idea you got your buddy in on it you wanted his money to come in on it but and he was okay with that but now you want him to do all the shit with you too which dude if you guys agreed to that up front that's one thing but it
Starting point is 00:13:21 doesn't sound like you did so the best way to handle this is to understand that you made some mistakes in your organization and launch of the business and then have a conversation with them and say hey look man i know that uh you know you gave the money in it but i'm doing all these things and this and that but like real talk if this is going to work i'm going to need you to help out with some of this stuff not just give me your money and we're going to work that out and if you can't do that, then let's work out a deal where I can pay you back your money and then I can go on my own way. Right. And there's no reason. It's not a hostile talk. It's not an argument. It's not uncomfortable. It's just the truth. And I think the reason that most of these things turn into bad things is because we anticipate
Starting point is 00:14:04 them being bad before we have the conversation instead of just looking at them for what they are. This is a miscommunication that you have between you and your business partner that needs to be rectified. So it's not just, Hey man, I can't fucking do this anymore. It's like, Hey bro, look, I know we agreed to this and I'm assuming that you thought this was, this was, I must've miscommunicated because actually I need this help too, okay? And so like, if we're gonna move forward and build this out to what it could be,
Starting point is 00:14:30 I'm gonna need you to do these things to help me do what we're doing here. And then if he's not willing to do that, you say, okay, that's cool. Then let's work out a deal where I can pay you back the money and get out or I could bring in another investor that's willing to do those things
Starting point is 00:14:43 and we can make you haul on the backside. And dude, there's this kind of thing happens in business all the time. It's totally normal. And I don't think you should hesitate to have that conversation. In fact, it'll probably condition you for the millions of other hard conversations you'll have over the course of business because the Christmas light decoration business probably probably isn't going to be your business forever, right? So you're learning and you're learning how to do a business. It's important for you to have those conversations. So that's what I would do.
Starting point is 00:15:13 And that's what it sounds like to me. It sounds to me like, you know, he just probably doesn't know that he's supposed to be doing these things or you didn't make it clear. And there's some things that need to be fixed up there. You know, the funny thing is, is that's sort of relevant to how we got started in business too. And I think this is a worthy story for you guys to know. You know, when Chris and I first started S2, you know, Chris pretty much did all the work.
Starting point is 00:15:41 Like he did all the back end work. He didn't know much about products he didn't know much about products and didn't know much about sales so i did that part chris did all the back end stuff and real talk there was a time for a long time many many years where he did way more than i did okay but then when the when the business grew i was able to discover what I was gifted at, which is branding and vision. And I became a massive asset to him. So what assets does this guy have that you're discounting because he's not doing it now that could serve you later? That's something to look at as well.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Because everybody knows me as the quote unquote business guy out of the whole organization. But the reality is, is, you know, for the first five or six years, that motherfucker did all the work. I didn't do shit. I talked to customers. You know what I mean? I went door to door. I passed out flyers. I talked to people because that's what I could do. But once we got to a point where we were expanding, I was able to bring immense value because of my knowledge of those things. Does that make sense? So there's, when you're in a business partner relationship, there's times during the course of the business where each partner is going to have more value than the other partner. Does that make sense?
Starting point is 00:16:55 It's not always going to be. Yeah. It's not always like you're this one guy is the guy. Sometimes you're going to go through phases where the, where your friend, maybe he saves the business because he's got some skills that you don't even know he has yet. There's all kinds of things to think about. And very few times, like when I come in here at First Form, a lot of people think, oh, Andy's doing this. But the reality is I got Jason, I got Sal, I got fucking an amazing team of executives. And those guys are highly skilled people. Like they're carrying the weight.
Starting point is 00:17:25 You know what I'm saying? So we have to be real about how this works. Now I've realized that you're just getting started and this is probably a heavy answer for, but, but there's a lot to it and you should be thinking what's, what would this be like? Like how would you address this conversation if you were five years down the road and you were doing $20 million in sales, how would you address it? Right. Think about it like that. Right. You know what I'm saying? So there's ways to think about these things, but ultimately guys, the truth is, is that we have to get very comfortable having a good communication with our business partners. And I don't like to say like a lot of people will say, well, I got to have a hard conversation. It's not a hard
Starting point is 00:18:04 conversation. It's just a conversation, man. You're building that up yes yes like stop saying i gotta have a hard conversation stop saying that about your girlfriend or your boyfriend or your husband or your wife or your business partner and just sort of say i gotta have a conversation because it takes a lot of the weight and the pressure off of that and it just makes it what it is which is we're not communicating and we got to get on the same page. And that's as simple as you can make it. The simpler you can make it, the less pressure you have to carry, which makes it easier to get to an actual resolution. And then the last thing I'll add to this is that when you have these conversations, you should be understanding that the idea is not to win the conversation.
Starting point is 00:18:45 It's not to, I'm not trying to get my way. I'm trying to get the best way. The way. The way. Okay. And a lot of people, especially when they're young, they want to win the conversation. The idea of winning the conversation is a faulty idea. Conversations are not things to have won. they are things to have to find a resolution that serves the purpose of what we're working to do and that comes with humility and the removal of ego which is hard to do when you're young real talk yeah so like now when i have to have conversations with let's say jason and sal or chris or you know one of the guys here or
Starting point is 00:19:25 Anybody or fucking ed who I'm partners with in our day or whatever whatever I got going on it's the the The context of the conversation is not we got to do it my way the context of the conversation is hey What's the best way so that we can make this work and win? Yeah, and that's that's where a lot of business owners and leaders really fuck up, dude. They fuck up their whole lives. It's not about winning, bro. It's about finding the best path forward.
Starting point is 00:19:53 If you want to be a great leader, your leadership style should be, I'm going to listen to you, I'm going to listen to you, I'm going to listen to you two guys, and then I'm going to figure out what I think the best answer is, even if it's not mine. You see what I'm saying? It may not be yours it's probably not going to be yeah like the real you know what i mean sometimes it will be but you know the the goal of what we're trying to do here is to win so the outcome of the conversation should be what's the best for everybody here not just because i love this or this is me or i did this or I put this money in or I did all the work
Starting point is 00:20:29 Dude, fuck all that Sometimes you're going to do more work than your business partner. Sometimes he's going to do more work than you That's an ebb and flow that naturally happens So my advice ultimately here is to have a conversation get on the same page Address the conversation with the context of we're trying to find the best solution possible and then move forward from there yeah i love that i think this is awesome i like seeing these these questions and stories we're seeing a lot more younger people coming in at like starting businesses i think it's fucking great wait
Starting point is 00:21:00 dude listen this is hard shit like what i just explained like yeah i can rip it off and it sounds real easy but remember i was a young dumb entrepreneur that in 19 years old didn't know shit okay so i've done this and made all these mistakes so many fucking times bro it's insane this is experience bro this is not this is not you're not supposed to you're not supposed to just know this shit yeah you know what i mean just learn as you guys yes i love that man one uh one thing i want to follow up on this question though when you talk about conflict resolution right with your partners or your even execs have you found it to be difficult when you know let's say you're a passionate person right and then you know your whole team they're also passionate people right like how how have
Starting point is 00:21:44 you handled those conversations when it's like you you know, it's not necessarily OK. My decision is the best, but you truly believe that you have the best goal and somebody else does as well. And you guys are equally passionate on that. How do you have those those conversations? Well, I'm overpowering. You have to know yourself first. OK, so I have this and you guys all know that all the guys here in this room talking to you, I have an overpowering passion. I haven't, I can walk into a room and there can be 10 other passionate people in three
Starting point is 00:22:13 seconds. They'll shut the fuck up. Okay. Real talk, but that's not good. That's a, that's a hindrance to me because what ends up happening is the rest of the guys shut up and I don't hear their good ideas okay so we have to understand that sometimes you shutting the fuck up is what produces the best
Starting point is 00:22:31 result so how do i address that it's hard okay because i am passionate but i have to sometimes remember like all right look just shut up and let them talk let them say their shit let everybody go and then you go at the end and so like that's something that that has helped me but dude real talk i'm not great at it all the time like sometimes sometimes i do know the answer but all right this is a weakness of my leadership no this is this is a weakness of my own leadership i'll just be real sometimes i know the answer like i already know and and i'm urgent because i want to win now okay so i already know the answer i don't want to fucking hear it
Starting point is 00:23:12 from 10 other people i already fucking know right okay so i'll walk in and be like this is what the fuck we're doing all right however you can make a lot of mistakes doing it that way because maybe Madad has a couple ideas that will make it even better than that. Right? So it's very, it's that's my weakness as a leader. My weakness is not, not being assertive. It's being too assertive. And, um, so there's this really good book, uh, called the five dysfunctions of a team that I read, I don't know, 12, 15 years ago.
Starting point is 00:23:51 And it kind of goes through this process of how you get people to contribute and be valued on your team. And, uh, I read that book and it changed my perspective, but I still struggle with it. So what I try to do, man, is I try to be the last to talk. Like when we're in a meeting, if like, I know the answer or I, or I, if I don't know the answer I fucking you guys have to talk Right, but sometimes like I get too aggressive and too ambitious and too passionate and I want to go in and be like Alright, we're just doing this for the sake of getting it done quickly, right? I like to move now I don't like to move like I want to I want to I want to be there now and That's unrealistic. So sometimes that gets the best of me as a leader But you know the truth of
Starting point is 00:24:26 the matter is is being aware of your own shortcomings is how you become great at it yeah and um so i have to be very conscious of that yeah well i mean for sure i mean like i because i remember a time like when i first got with you you know i would ask you a question like man why you guys aren't doing this way ignorantly not understanding like well fuck i'm sure you guys have thought about this idea 15 fucking years ago. Well, and that's part of the problem, bro. I know it's got to be difficult to have to do that.
Starting point is 00:24:51 So, like, dude, so one of the frustrations with having a lot of business experience, like, you guys probably hear this, like, when you see me do live Q&A or if you're at Arte sometimes, I'll get fucking annoyed at the question. Yeah, it's like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Yeah, because i'm like are you fucking serious dude because i forget that you don't know yeah you know what i mean and i've gone through this so many times that it's it's like air to me like it's just the way it is and the more experience you get the more it's like that but also the more you get like that the less involvement you can make because you're not allowing for any other opinions or insights. So you have to be very aware that just because it's gone this way 20 times, maybe this is the 21st time it's going to go a little different. So we have to leave room there for the outside perspectives to allow you to make the proper decision. Does that make sense?
Starting point is 00:25:42 Absolutely, man. Absolutely. Guys, Andy, question number three. Does that make sense? Absolutely, man. Absolutely. Guys, Andy, question number three. Andy, this actually flows perfectly, man. Andy, I suck at having hard conversations. Growing up, whenever hard conversations would come up, family would either call it complaining or respond with that victim mentality, even throwing Bible verses into the conversation.
Starting point is 00:26:03 Now, whenever these conversations are needed, I feel like I'm complaining or being somewhat selfish. I have a five-year-old son who is very observant. And out of many things I want to install in him, that this is one of the things I'm not sure how to, how to have those conversations. How did your dad teach you to have these hard conversations? What I just said, they're not hard conversations. They're unemotional, just conversations, you know, about finding. They're unemotional, just conversations, you know, about finding resolution. It's all about the perspective, bro. It's about, it's about looking at things like, well, first of all, you have to understand if you aren't willing to communicate, you're not going to get shit. Okay. You're going to get paid bullshit.
Starting point is 00:26:42 You're going to have a shitty job. You're never going to get ahead. You're going to get bitter. You're going to look around and be like, everybody's passing me by. No, they're not passing you by. You're not learning a very real skillset that you must have to be successful, which is to communicate. So if you can't communicate, you have less value. This is a real thing. And so when you look at your little five-year-old son and you say, I want to set a good example for him right now, you are not setting a good example for him. I'm going to tell you that right now. He is learning right now to be passive, to be weak, to go with the flow. And what will end up happening is that kid will grow up witnessing his dad be this way. And then he will be that way. And he's going to get the same shit you're getting,
Starting point is 00:27:23 which is probably not much right now. Okay. So learning how to communicate effectively is the most important skill that you have to have for a prosperous life, prosperous with your relationships, your friendships, your job, anything that you do. It's a requirement to be able to communicate effectively. If you have some sort of reservation or some sort of mental block you have to figure out how to get over that now how do you get over the fear of having conversations if i had to give you a million dollars to answer this right now what would you say you have to do to get over the fear of having conversations dj what we have to do have a conversation there you go a million bucks i got it yeah not really though not really though but i'm just saying
Starting point is 00:28:13 yeah all right all right but here's what i'm saying dude like this is this there's only one way to move past the things that you suck at like when I first started playing baseball bro my first year of baseball I didn't get a single hit a single hit the whole entire year okay the next year I figured it out and I started dropping motherfucking bombs okay like this is how it works to follow work yeah come back listen I hit those motherfuckers in 82 they went over the mountain yeah i'm with you all right like dude look we this anything that we want to get better at comes down to us doing the thing that we are afraid to do because we suck at it all right and right now brother you suck at having conversations you just listed off 15 objections as to why you don't have it. Oh, they threw Bible verses at me, man. Fuck that. Like, do you want, do you want to lose? If you want to lose, keep
Starting point is 00:29:12 being a fucking pussy about having conversations. You will not make any money. You will be pissed off. You won't have any good relationships because you can't communicate. You won't have any real friendships because you can't communicate and your life's have any real friendships because you can't communicate. And your life's going to fucking suck. And lots of people live their whole lives like this because they're afraid of saying things that are very obviously things that they should communicate. It should be said. Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:36 And so we have to remove this fear from our minds and our hearts that having a conversation is a hard thing. It is not hard. It's very simple. You move your mouth, sounds come out. Like it's real simple, dude. If you break it down to how simple it is, there's nothing to be afraid of. Their reaction to what you say, that is their responsibility. Now they might get upset. They might get upset. They might throw a tantrum. They might, you you know fucking get angry but the reality is dude it's not going to matter because even if that relationship crumbles
Starting point is 00:30:10 you're going to have the skill of communication that's going to allow you to build amazing relationships with other people in other careers or other relationships that's going to benefit you so stop thinking of this as like dude dude, this person who ever wrote this, you're, by you saying, well, I had this happen to me, and I had that happen to me, and I had this happen to me, and I had that happen to me. Bro, that is victim mentality. Like whoever told you that in your family, they're fucking right.
Starting point is 00:30:38 Like you're being a victim. I got yelled at one time when I tried to say something. I got told I was stupid. I Bro that happens to everybody that's not exclusive to you You know many times I got told I was a fucking do you ever times I get told my fucking more on today You guys read the comments on some of these videos on the internet Like if I actually listen to them like I would what I do I'll go home and fucking cry every day Like fuck those people I don't give a shit man i'm gonna say what the fuck i gotta say and however you react to it is
Starting point is 00:31:08 okay with me that's dude that's a place of freedom that you want to get to okay because when you're afraid to say things when you're afraid to speak the truth or you're afraid to communicate you are living in an environment that owns you okay if you want to feel free and you want to feel light and you want to feel good you have to develop the the one the skill of communication but also to the courage to say the way things are even when it's uncomfortable and if you can if you can do those two things like you and i do on the on the cti episodes every fucking day bro i walk around light as fuck a lot of people are like they're like how do you do all that like how do you bro that would that's got to be hard i'm like it's real easy man i move my
Starting point is 00:31:49 mouth the shit comes out and however they react is the way it is and like what are they going to do well you're going to call my business and complain get me fucking fired well i'm not firing me you know what i'm saying like like it's not happening i got you yeah. Yeah, right. So like, dude, I feel good about that. Like, dude, real talk, it'll become the thing you're most proud of in your life. Like, you know what I'm most proud of? I'm most proud of is that I can say whatever the fuck I want and nobody can ever say that I'm being told what to say or someone's influencing me or like my sponsors are telling me not to say shit. I don't even take sponsors because I don't want to listen to these fucking idiots telling me what to say shit. I don't even take sponsors. I don't want to listen to these fucking idiots telling me what to say or not to say.
Starting point is 00:32:28 You know what I'm saying? There's a tremendous amount of like confidence and freedom and your, your shoulders back and your head hell high. Like when I walk in a room, bro, this is real shit. When I walk in a room with all the other people out here who are famous, right? I know I'm the baddest motherfucker because they're all too pussy to speak the truth it is what it is and there's very few exceptions very few no that's okay so it is what it is it builds you up tell the truth speak the truth learn how to communicate you'll build an amazing life with an amazing income with an amazing partner you'll have amazing kids
Starting point is 00:33:04 and i think most of the success in life comes down to us getting over this idea bro you ever heard that saying uh the squeaky wheel gets the grease like there's truth to that like the person who speaks up gets the reward you're never going to be wealthy if you can't learn to fucking speak up people always think of that as like a negative thing that that that uh that quote there bro the world doesn't reward meekness it doesn't reward humility the reason that that those values are overvalued in society is for two reasons one the people who run society want us to be poor little me's they don't want us to say shit they want us to accept scraps they want us to be dependent on them and two it's much easier to live that kind of life
Starting point is 00:33:46 than it is to have the courage to actually speak up and communicate and stand up for yourself so because we are in a situation of comfort and convenience we act like there's no real problem and because we act like there's no real problem that real problem gets fucking massive and out of control and ends up ruining our lives so look man learn to communicate if you can learn to communicate and you can remove this idea that it's hard or that it's bad or that people are going to be upset or this person is going to be upset with me bro it brings a tremendous amount of success and freedom to your life and it's something that's required to be the kind of person you're trying to be. That's reality. It's funny because like all the conversations that I've had that I thought were going to
Starting point is 00:34:29 be these hard, difficult ones, they were actually the easiest ones. But then the ones that I thought would be nice and easy, bro, it turned into a fucking fist fight. You know? Well, look, dude, you're dealing with- You got to get out your head. Yeah, it is what it is, man. And I mean, I don't, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Like, this is something, this is an issue And I mean, I don't, uh, I don't know. Like this is something, this is an issue that I very rarely think about anymore. And I forget that I wasn't always like that. Like I wasn't always like how I am now. There was, I spent a lot of time like this man or this woman, whoever wrote that question. I spent a lot of time like that person where I was afraid to communicate and I was afraid to say what I thought and I was afraid to speak up. And you know what happened to me when that happened? I didn't make any money. I didn't get any of the opportunities. I didn't have any good friends. And I fucking was pissed off at everybody in the world. Cause I'm like, fuck dude, I have all this shit to offer and you don't see it. Well, they're not seeing it because
Starting point is 00:35:19 you're not allowing them to see it. So we cannot live in this bro. And honestly, this works itself into what's going on in the world today. Okay. The reason a lot of you guys won't speak up and stand up is for the same reasons we're talking about now. You're afraid of what might happen. You're afraid of what could happen. You're afraid of what so-and-so will think. And then you live here the rest of your life dealing with the results of that and having frustration when in reality dude it's just a little bit of courage like look at the look at the the way society has been for the last however many years the last 10 years at least where so many people disagree with the way society is going but it continues to go that way. Why? Because nobody's talking about it.
Starting point is 00:36:05 Okay. Why aren't they talking about it? Because the other team has figured out that if they shame them and they make them feel stupid and they insult them and they bully them, that that person will remain silent. But those people that remain silent lose. They lose. There's no nobility in the silent majority. There's no nobility in, you know, political correctness. There's the fucking truth. And
Starting point is 00:36:31 then there's shit that isn't true. Like a man is a woman and a woman is a man. Okay. Just because you understand biology doesn't mean you're a fucking bigot. All right. The truth is the truth is the motherfucking truth. And it's always going to be that way. And until you understand that not only should you learn to communicate in your personal lives where it's going to affect you the most. And you also need to communicate what's going on in society. Shit's going to continue to get worse. And that's reality. I love it, man. Guys, Andy.
Starting point is 00:37:01 That was three. That's three. Go pay the fee. Yeah. Went from sleeping on the floor. Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a three. That's three. Go pay the fee.

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