REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 613. Real Talk: 3 Steps to Harnessing Negativity to Produce Wins

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

In today's Real Talk, Andy shares the three key things he prioritizes when facing a lack of motivation to take action. These elements enable him to transform the natural negativity that often comes on the journey to success into a powerful weapon to get him closer to his goals and how you can use the techniques in your life.

What is up guys, it's Andy for Selling, this is the show for the real and say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions about our society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have a real talk, okay? There's going to be a lot more real talks coming your way over the next 12 months. I know you guys are loving it. I see you guys sharing it out. Listen, I'm going to get right into these.

I'm not going to fuck around with the intro, okay? Here's the deal. I was talking to someone who was explaining to me they were having problems getting motivated. They were having problems going. And while I talk about discipline being the main skill, there is a such thing as motivation. Okay. But the reality is discipline is much more valuable. And if you want to learn how to be disciplined, you go do the Live Hard program, 75 Hard program, which is at episode 208 on the audio feed. So you can get it there for free. However, there is such a thing as motivation, all right? And when you talk to someone, like I was talking to my friend who was very frustrated, very angry, almost bitter, and couldn't figure out why, I got some clarity around some points that I wanted to share with you guys, okay? Those of us who are built different, those of us who are wired different, okay, who are wired to go out, conquer, kill, and eat our own food, all right?

Not someone who's complacent. This isn't for people who are complacent living in their little petting zoo over here. This is for fucking animals that have to go out and be savages, all right? There's a lot of us out here. There's a lot of people who are highly competitive, highly driven, who hate to fucking lose, and who want to do whatever they have to do to win. There's a lot of us us and it can be frustrating. And when we get unlimited doses of negative energy in the world, especially when you're younger, sometimes it's very hard for us to understand how to use them. Okay. So before I get into the points that I want to share with you

guys today, I want to remind you that dark energy, the negative energy, is an unlimited energy source. And we have a lot of people on the internet who talk about positivity and all these nice things. And they sound really nice and professional when they talk. But I can promise you, any of those people who have achieved anything, if you were to peel back who they are on the outside and look deep within their soul, you're going to find a fucking savage warrior who understands how to use dark side energy properly. It's not an option to be able to use dark side energy. There's a lot of people out here who say things like this. Well, I only operate from the positive. I only operate from the light. Okay. Well, you're also going to operate with nothing in your fucking bank account

because it's required to be able to use the negative energy because of the nature of how much of it it is. So if you're going to be effective and you're going to be great, you have to think like an effective, great human being. Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, these dudes weren't on the court at 4 a.m. in the morning doing chest passes and free throws because they wanted to win over the hearts and minds of the fans. No, they wanted to go out and slit motherfuckers throats every single

motherfucking day of their lives in their careers. And guess what? They did. Okay. So it's a necessity to know how to utilize dark side energy. And when people tell you, you can't, people tell you, you won't people tell you your shit, all these things that I was told over the course of my career in the beginning. All right. Your dreams are too big. You're never going to accomplish them. Do you still have that little vitamin store? When are you going to grow up and get realistic? When your girlfriends leave you, your boyfriends abandon you. When all this shit happens, we got to know what to do with this energy. Otherwise, it fucks us up.

It paralyzes us. It makes us ineffective. So you have to understand the fundamental basic skill set of harnessing this energy. And it's very simple. We take all the negative. We take all the negative. We take all the frustration. We take all the things that piss us off and we don't lash back out at those people. Okay. We take it and we put it up on our shoulder as a big giant fucking chip. All right. And every single time that we feel like not doing what we should do every single time we feel like quitting every

single time we feel like throwing in the towel we go up here and we list down the things that people have said to us we list down the things that people have done to us and we find the energy to go take productive action okay this is the. Most people let negative energy burn them down because they don't understand that it has to be harnessed and put into productive action. A lot of people will take the negative energy and they will throw it back at the person that gives it to them, or they will lash out at somebody else. That is not how you do this. Take it, let it soak in, remember it. And then when you need it, you use it to do something that's going to be productive to make you better to a point where they cannot compete with you. All right. So that's the fundamental understanding

of how to use dark energy. But if you're one of these people who is driven by the dark energy, who says, fuck everybody, I want to stomp on everybody's fucking thro who is driven by the dark energy, who says, fuck everybody. I want to stomp on everybody's fucking throats, which, by the way, is okay. Those are the people that end up being the biggest builders, the biggest creators, the biggest champions in the history of Earth. All right? And you happen to have it, so that's a good thing, not a bad thing. The problem is you need to know how to organize it a little bit. All right?

So you're sitting there. You're frustrated, you're angry. You don't know exactly why you feel like you feel, but you know, it's because you're not winning the way you should win. How do we work through this? Well, I'm going to give you the blueprint of how I work through this. Whenever I get frustrated, whenever I get angry, whenever I get pissed off, which is often because I'm highly competitive, I review the list I'm about to give you, which helps me create what action I need to take. It helps me harness the energy properly, which is absolutely necessary. Okay, so the first thing on the list is you have to know what your mission is. What is your mission? What are you trying to

accomplish? What are you trying to create? What are you trying to build? What problem are you trying to solve? Who are you trying to become? Okay. These could all be part of your mission. And the mission could also be collective or individual, and it should be both. If you run a team, you should have a collective mission and then also a mission for yourself. If you're part of the team, you should understand the collective mission and also have a mission for yourself. Okay. So clearly define the mission before you act on dark energy. All right. And if you define it once, you can always go back and review it. This is exactly what I do. I'm giving you the blueprint. Number two, clearly defined. What point are you trying to prove? Who are you trying to prove it to? Are you trying to prove it to the

world? Are you trying to prove it to yourself? And by the way, regardless of what all the positive patties on the fucking internet say, it is okay to have points to prove. It is okay to have a little bit of insecurity and to want to say, Hey, fuck you. I've overcome that. It's okay. It's a very positive and productive force to harness. So what are you trying to prove? Are you trying to prove it to yourself? Are you trying to prove it to other people? Are you trying to prove it to your mom and your dad? Are you trying to prove it to your cousins? Are you trying to prove it to the world? Fucking write it down and be honest. Be real honest about it. Okay. If you filter this out, you're not honest about it. It won't be effective. We all need a point to prove.

What's your point to prove? And point number three, who's the enemy? What's the enemy? The enemy could be a who or it could be a what, and it's okay. All right. So maybe it's your competitor in business. Maybe it's a cultural trait that you're not happy with. For me, the enemy is mediocrity. And we can see this in every business that I operate on at every podcast that I do. To me, the enemy is tyranny. To me, the enemy is oppression. To me, the enemy is corruption. To me, the enemy is lack of excellence. These are enemies for me. And I have a number of people that are enemies as well, which I'll keep that to myself. But the point is I don't go out and attack them publicly. You never saw Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant out there talking shit on another player. Maybe occasionally when it got to that, but the reality was they let them talk

their shit. They let them piss them off. And why did they like it when it got them pissed off? Because they understood how to harness the dark side energy. They understood it was going to make them better. Okay, so how do we utilize this list? This list of our mission, this list of our point to prove, and this list of who and what our enemies are. When we feel frustrated and when we feel unmotivated and when we feel like we shouldn't be doing the thing that we're doing, we need to go back and we

need to review the list. What's my mission? What's my point to prove? And who is my enemy? Okay. And read the list and think about it. And then after you read the list and think about it and you're all fucking pissed off right then you make the decision of what productive action you are going to take. And the productive action again is not attacking those things directly. It's what is going to make you the best version of yourself. What is going to make your company that much more productive or that much more better or that much more high quality or that much harder to compete with? And that goes for your business. It goes for your cause. It goes for your team.

It goes for yourself. What action can I take with all of this energy that is going to make me a much more formidable opponent against all of these things? Okay. This is how you properly use the energy. You take it, you store it, you draw upon it when needed. And then before you decide what action to take, you review your list and then make an action that's going to make you better. All right. This is the exact system I use. This is the exact system I've used my whole life. This is a system that many champions have used.

This is a system that many great people have used. And by the way, if you're on the path to greatness, if you're on the path to being exceptional, you cannot expect other people to understand it. There is so much noise and so much bullshit on the internet that we look around us that are wired like fucking warriors to go out and achieve and kill and build and create. Okay. We look around at everybody else and we think

we're fucked up. You're not fucked up, man. They're fucked up. All right. You're the person who's going to build something great, whether it be your own great life, whether it be a great company, whether it be a great team, whether it be a great cause, and a lot of good shit will happen from that if you harness it properly. You can let it destroy you, but the way it's going to destroy you is by you getting overwhelmed with this negativity and then lashing out at the people who give it to you. Talking shit, joining, that's a distraction. That keeps you off the path. How powerful could you be as a creator, as someone who's in search of greatness, if you are able to take the positive energy, the positive reinforcement, which by the way, is probably 5% of the total 100%, and you're able to use the 95%, which is all the frustration, all the anger, all the pain,

all the disrespect, all the doubt. And you're able to take all that energy at any given time and then flip it over into something that actually makes you better. How can you compete with someone like that? You can't. Those are the people that win. And that is why they win. And that's why you're going to win.

Okay, so stop thinking you're broken just because you know how to operate with dark side energy. It's not all fluffy, feely, feel good shit out here. All right, it takes the use of both. So go use both. Don't be afraid of the dark side energy, but listen to this show over and over and over again until you understand how to use it properly. And if you understand how to use it properly, there is not a single fucking thing in this world that can stop you from doing what it is you're trying to do. Outro Music