REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 620. Real Talk: Overcoming The Fear Of Failure

Episode Date: December 28, 2023

In today's Real Talk, Andy talks about why overcoming the fear of failure is crucial for personal and professional growth and the steps you need to take to overcome this crippling fear that's holding you back in life.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest sake of body to lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society. Welcome to motherfucking reality guys today, I'm just going to hit you with a real talk, okay? I know that right now everybody's planning their 2024 goals. And I had someone recently ask me, how do they deal with the fear of failure? How do they get over the fear of failure? Well, I want to talk a little bit about that and then expand upon that here today for you guys while you're thinking. Because I know right now, you know, everybody's thinking about what they're going to do on Monday, January 1st, it's coming up. What are we going to do? What are

we going to accomplish? You're at least thinking about it. Probably, you know, making some plans, writing them down. If you're not, you're behind the ball and you should be. But here's the thing, okay? I'm going to address this first. The fear of failure, all right? You have to realize that when you are afraid to go, when you are afraid to go and become and do the thing, you are creating a life of automatic loss. All right. You cannot win. You cannot become, you cannot build this dream that you have this life without actually going. And a lot of people nowadays, they like to consume data. They like to read books. They like to listen to podcasts. They like to hire coaches. They do all of the things except the thing that actually produces the result, which is actual execution. All right. You have to understand you can sit

there and you can analyze and you can think and you can consume and you can learn all day long. But until you actually put pen to paper and start to really build shit in your own life and execute, none of that's going to matter. In fact, if you stand still in this process of perpetual consumption of information, you are actually guaranteeing a loss. And this is a huge problem in the personal development space. Okay. We have this idea that more information and more information and more information and more information is required for us to actually go do. When in reality, the more information we consume, we actually get paralyzed. And when you paralyze yourself from taking action, you are creating a loss by default. So it is much better to take imperfect action than to do nothing perfectly. All right,

you have to understand this. And a lot of you guys will spend the rest of your life thinking that the more you actually know, the more concepts you understand, that it actually equals more success. And this is proven to be wrong in the real world. How many people do we look at in real life that really don't know that much that have become successful? Knowledge does not equal success. Execution is what equals success. Some of the wealthiest people I know are also some of the dumbest. Okay.

I know a guy who's worth hundreds of millions of dollars that doesn't know the difference between our, O-U-R and R-A-R-E. And this is a real story. And if you listen to me for many years, you know, this real, cause I've talked about this many times. Okay. Real winners, real doers, people who actually achieve their dreams. They don't have any special skills. You don't have, they don't have more knowledge. You don't have more talent. They don't have any special skills you don't have. They don't have more knowledge. They don't have more talent. They don't have more skills. They just fucking do it.

All right? And that's what you need to understand. You have enough information available to you right now with the internet and the amount of people who have shared their stories and shared their tips and their tricks. You have enough information to create whatever it is you want. You don't have to pay for anything. You don't have to sign up for anything.

You don't have to do anything. You just have to go start doing it. Okay. So realize this, if you are one of these people who is standing around, who is waiting for the perfect time, who is waiting for you to have enough knowledge or for someone to come along and tell you that you're qualified or welcome you into the club. Just understand you're creating a life of misery for yourself and you're creating an automatic loss. And the reason that you're going to be miserable is because you have all these dreams, you have all these goals, you have all these things you're trying to accomplish, but you're unwilling to execute, which creates a life of torture, okay?

You want to live a miserable, frustrated, torturous existence? Dream about how great things could be and do nothing about it. That's going to be very painful for you from here until the end of your life. And then at the end of your life, you're going to regret your entire life because you're going to say, well, shit, I knew what to do, but I just

didn't do it. Okay. This is the problem that most of you face. So the fear of failure is an automatic loss. That's the first thing you have to understand. Now, the second thing that I want you to understand, and this isn't going to take real long, okay, is that we're going in to a year, which is an election year. There's going to be massive chaos. There's going to be massive division. There's going to be massive frustration. There's going to be a lots of hopelessness and lots of fear. Okay. And the biggest thing that causes the disorder and the frustration society is you thinking that your life and your actions do not matter. Let me explain something to you. If you are in a position where you're looking around at the world and you're saying, holy shit, this is crazy. This needs to be better. This and

this and this, these are so fucked up. I can't stand how things are. Why aren't things different? If you want to know why things aren't different, go look in the motherfucking mirror and take a real good, long, hard look. Because the reality is, is that we are society and you are society. And whatever standard it is that you're holding, however you're living your life is going to be reflected in concentric circles out to your family, your neighbors, your community, your city, your state, and your country. This is the reality. Why do you think they make it seem like you don't matter?

Why do they censor your words? Why do they condemn your actions? Why do they cancel people who stand up for things that we all know to be common sense truth? Why do they do that? They don't do that because it doesn't matter. They do that because they know that that's all that fucking matters. Okay? We all have a responsibility, especially now, especially during this time, to set the best example that we possibly can for everyone around us.

We have a responsibility to build the best life mentally, the best life physically, the best life spiritually, and the best life financially, so that other people around us can see what that looks like and can understand that it just doesn't fall out of the sky. We actually have to go earn it. We have that responsibility right now, every single one of us, and that responsibility is not deferred to somebody with a big platform or some social media influencer or somebody on TV. It's your responsibility. It's my responsibility and it's all of our responsibilities and it's never been more

important ever. Okay. So for those of you who are frustrated with what's going on in the world and those of you looking for culture to change, you have to understand that you are culture and how you live your life is going to dictate what actually creates in real life what we call society. The biggest problem we have right now with all of this shit going on in the world is that we have millions upon millions upon millions upon millions of people that believe that their little bitty life and their little bitty voice doesn't matter. And it does. It's all that matters. So when you sit

there and you think about what you want to accomplish in 2024 and beyond, you have to realize this isn't just about you. This is about you, your kids, your neighbors, your family, your community, your city, your state, and your country. And it is a fucking duty that you go out and be the best version of yourself. So when you think about all these goals that you want to achieve, and you think about all these things that you want to become, and then you think about how you're scared to execute, realize they want you scared to execute. They want you to think that it's not possible. They want you to think that it doesn't matter. And the reason they want you to think that it doesn't matter is because it's what matters most. And if you don't go out and become this thing, there is no hope for the future.

There is no hope for the country. There is no hope for our society. It comes back on our shoulders, on our backs. And when shit gets hard, we have to put the shit on our back and fucking carry it. That's the reality of the situation we're in. And here's the thing you got to understand. Okay. All these people who you look at, who have built the things that you want to build, who have become the kinds of people that you want to build, who have become the kinds of people that you want to become. All of those people were afraid too. All of those people had doubts just like you. All of those people had a little dialogue inside their head. Say, what if it doesn't work? What if I do this and everybody laughs at me? What if I do this and

everybody makes fun of me? What if I do this and I fall on my face? They all had that. And guess what happened? They did fall on their face and everybody did laugh at them. But every single time they fucking fell, they got back up. And I know that sounds cliche, but it's the truth. Nobody has built what it is you want to build. Nobody has become what it is you're trying to become without pushing through the same things that you're dealing with now. They don't have more talent. They don't have more talent. They don't have more skill. They were just willing to be laughed at, and you aren't. What makes you so special that you think that you're going to be able to accomplish

what they've accomplished without going through that process? In fact, that's pretty fucking arrogant, isn't it? You think you're so special that you get to skip all the hard parts and the universe is just going to line up for you and everything's going to be easy. You think that you get to skip all the parts where everybody laughs at you and everybody makes fun of you. And everybody says that you're stupid and crazy and never going to be able to do it. You think you're going to be able to skip why, what makes you so special that you could skip that and everybody else had to go

through it. That's what you don't understand. The shit you want to become, the life you're trying to build, that's the price you're going to pay. And everybody's paid it. Fucking everybody. Everybody you look up to has paid that price. What makes you think you're not going to have to pay it? You're going to have to pay it, guys. It's required. So as you type out these goals or write these goals down

or think about these things that you want to become, don't just think of it in some flippant way. It fucking matters. And it matters way more than just having some nice shit or living a comfortable life. Because every single person around you is going to take the cues they see from you and apply at least some of them to their own life. And if they're positive, and if you're listening to this, I'm pretty sure they are. It's going to make a big

impact on their life, even if they only take a percentage of it. Okay. Some of those people are going to take it real serious. Some of those people are going to take it real serious Some of those people are going to change their entire existence Because of the example that you set And if we want to fix things and we want things to be better We have to understand that it is us as individuals who are going to make it so So as you sit there and you plan out your 2024 And you think about what it is you're trying to build. Think about why you're trying to build it. It's not just so you can have a fat bank account.

It's not just so you can drive a nice car. It's not just so you can live in a nicer house. Those things are great and I hope you get them all, but there's a bigger picture at play. There's a bigger obligation at play. We have a duty to set the example For what is possible For the people that are coming behind us And we have an obligation To live to a certain standard For the people who have sacrificed before us

Our lives honor those sacrifices And whatever it is you want to do Whatever it is you want to become You have a fucking duty To do everything within your power to want to become, you have a fucking duty to do everything within your power to become it. So when you sit there and you write all this stuff out and you think about what it is you're going to do, remember, it's not just about you. It matters more than you could ever comprehend. We have an obligation here. We have an obligation to be the

very best individuals that we can be. And if we all step up and we all become those versions of ourselves, there is nothing anybody can do to stop the ripple effect of success, of positivity, of growth, of collective goodness that we can create together. And if you're looking to figure this game out a little bit quicker, if you're looking to become the absolute best version of yourself, I highly recommend you take a look at my new book called The Book on Mental Toughness. This book is a manual. It is a tool. It is a book that you can go back to over and over and over again that will help you get on the right

track with all the things that we're talking about here. It's available for pre-order on my website, andyforsella.com. You can grab it there. If you want to, cool. If you don't, that's cool too. But I can promise you, this is something that you're going to hang on to. You're going to go back to over and over and over again, and it's going to help you get a realigned whenever you need it. I love you guys. I appreciate you guys. Now let's go kick some fucking ass.