REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 627. Q&AF Ft. Matt Graham & Will Grumke: Inspiring Family, Money Beliefs & Daily Routines

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

In today's episode, Andy & DJ are joined in the studio by content creator/ influencer Matt Graham and 1st Phorm Executive Will Grumke. They answer your questions on how to inspire your family members to change their lifestyle after numerous failed attempts through your actions, what is the best way to change your beliefs towards money when you're struggling financially, and the best tactics you can use to combat procrastination to ensure swift execution in your daily routine.

What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realest say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys. Today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the Qs and I give you the AFs. Now, if you want your questions answered on the show, you can submit them a couple different ways. The first way is- Guys, email those questions in to askandy at andyfusella.com.

Or you can go on YouTube and on the Q and AF episodes, which air on Mondays, you can drop your question in the comments and we'll pick some questions from there as well. Now, if you're new to the show, we have shows within the show. This is not just a question and answer format podcast. Tomorrow, you will hear CTI, which is Cruise the Internet. You will also hear that on Fridays. That's where we put topics up on the screen. We talk about what's going on.

We speculate on what's true and what's not true. And then we talk about how we, the people, have an obligation, a duty, to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times, we have real talk. Real talk is just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. That usually comes out on Thursdays and Saturdays, or Thursdays or Saturdays. It's usually just once a week. Then we have full length. That's typically what you get with most podcasts. That's an occasional type of deal.

Our friends come in, they sit down, we talk a bunch of shit, and then we say we did a podcast. And then we have 75 hard verses. And 75 hard verses is where people who have completed the 75 hard program, which is the world's most popular mental transformation program, come in and talk about what their life was like before and what their life was like after. And talk about how you can do the same thing, how you can fix your shit. So 75 hard is the initial phase of the live hard program. It's

available for free at episode 208, or you can go on my website and buy the book on mental toughness and we'll outline the entire program. The book is unnecessary, but the book does contain 10 other chapters on mental toughness that I think will be good for you. So go buy the book. Yeah, we have this thing called the fee. We say pay the fee. That means share the show. You're going to notice I don't do ads on the show. I don't put myself at the mercy of advertisers of what I can and can't say because I like to keep it real with you guys.

That's why we call it Real AF. So in exchange for me not taking ads on the show, I ask very simply that you share the show. That's what pay the fee means. So if it makes you laugh, it makes you think. If it gives you some practical information, which this show definitely will, if it makes you better,

if you think it's something that needs to be heard, please share the show. All right? So don't be a hoe. Share the show. All right. What's up, man? We got a full house here.

Yeah, we do. Yeah. Yeah. We got Will Grumke from First Form. My knee touched. Yeah? Is he touching you? Twice.

Yeah. Probably counting the first time. And then we also have Matt Graham. What's up? What's up, dude? Who was just on the show on CTI on Friday. friday yeah so he's still here yeah yeah so i called his uber and the motherfucker didn't leave that's all right that's all right so what's up man that's you oh me i'm sorry oh i'm good man i'm good know, sitting next to like a legend here. That is a fact, man.

I'm trying to like mimic his body. Z-Shon is pretty legendary, you know. Yeah, so about Will. Will, what's going on with you? Oh, man, just ramping up. What? Looking yoked. Hey, I'm trying.

Trying real hard. As always. But no, we're ramping up the challenge here at First Form. So a lot of efforts going into that. Started 75 hard day, what is that, four or five that we're on right now? Yeah. And yeah, just excited to get this momentum rolling for 2024. What's the challenge?

So I don't talk a lot about what's going on at First Form on the show, as you know. But tell everybody about the challenge because this is open to anybody that's doing 75 hard, even if you've already started 75 hard. Yeah, absolutely. And actually, there's a lot of people that use the app in general, First Form app in general, to track the nutrition part of 75 hard, right? Because it helps with, I mean, I think we can all relate. You don't know what to do or if the plan is right or what my macro should be or like, hey, I'm moving more than I ever have. Like, how do I make sure that I'm taking care of myself here? So a lot of people use it just 365, that in general, but especially with right now with the challenge kicking off, which is a $300,000 transformation challenge that goes over the

course of the year. But there's four eight week challenges, basically one every quarter. And we just, you know, announced the first one. It starts today when this airs on Monday, you know, for people to get involved. And a lot of people, like you said, already started 75 hard. Obviously that's 75 days. The challenge is 56. So it fits right inside of there. And again, you know, if you're taking care of your nutrition, you're moving your body, you're drinking your water, doing those things that you're doing with 75 hard, you know, it's a perfect fit for a lot of people to just, Hey'm doing this as well as this because inside of the challenge you know you can win cash 25 000 a couple different

ways um other prizes along the way and so it's a good way to just get more involved with that community as well and move forward you said that community that's what i was going to bring up you know one of the coolest things about our app is the community aspect and and the community aspect of the challenge. We're doing something different this time that we've never done before. Talk about that. Yeah. So this time we have challenge partners, which is super cool because we've always had a strong community, especially when people think that they're putting in the work by themselves or feeling isolated, maybe friends and family don't support them. Cool. We got you covered there.

But this time you can pick one individual that is also in the app, that is also doing the challenge, and be their challenge partner. So it's like an added accountability to it. And out of the gate, I mean, the thing is just skyrocketing with new excitement of like, hey, I can pick somebody and, you know, do this, like literally do this with them. You get a daily update of, hey, did my person do their things or not? So you can check in, hold each other accountable. So both of you can push each other to get better. So, uh, it's taken off. It's pretty simple. Again, you just have to be in the first form app, be in the challenge. What does the app do? Tell people what the app does,

because there's so many fitness apps out here. I'm not trying to make this a fucking ad for first form, but fuck it. We're already all the way in. way in so um now that we're all the way in we might as well stroke a little bit right yeah hey so yeah what what what's funny about that nothing hey look uh for real though there's a lot of fitness apps out there i believe our app is the best i know you do as well um Talk about the app a little bit, because it is a, it's a tool that I fail to talk about as much as I should, because it's very, very, very useful tool. Yeah, for sure. So really the whole premise of the app is bringing together, you know, the different aspects of fitness, right? You got to have nutrition,

you got to have training, you need to have support, you need to have accountability, you need to learn some stuff along the way, You know, and the app does all of that in one spot by simplifying that process to where like at, you know, a click of a button, you have, you know, a NASM certified personal trainer, you have a dietician, you have, you know, someone that has a degree in exercise science, you have whatever it is. And they're able to talk to these people. Like you get an actual human being inside the app. So this isn't like some automated computer printed out bullshit. It's a real life person. I mean, literally every message that goes through that is a real person that is sending that message. Yeah. In this building. Yeah. And it, well, we have Legionnaires that obviously send

some messages through there as well. Cause they use it to train their clients, train their people as well. But it always takes people by surprise. Like when they get a message and then sometimes a video message comes through as well, they're like, oh shit. Yeah, I think it's a- Like you're a real person. Dude, I think, listen,

you guys hear me talk about how AI is fucking up the world and how people don't give a fuck about customer experience. That is outside the realm of the values of our companies, any company that I'm involved in. And one of the things i'm most proud of is that is that as far as i know we're the only app out there where you can literally get in the app and talk to an actual fucking certified human on demand yeah and i think that's uh that's pretty incredible it's making me proud we're creating jobs you know like so when you guys

use this app understand you know yes there yes, it's not a free app. There's a subscription to it. It's easily affordable for almost every person in the world. And I can promise you the value that you get out of it is exponentially more than what we ask for it. Yeah, and one other thing I'll just say is obviously because education is great. Having people that have certifications is great. However, like the real people aspect of it is what makes the difference. Right. Because, you know, the advisors, those dietit literally pairing up with people through the challenge partner thing of like, Hey, no, we will take people and help them through this process. Like, it's not just, you know, me talking at you. It's me talking with you. It's not some AI bot. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do this. And like, you know, even if

someone didn't start in the transformation challenge and become an advisor and that, like, all right, I had a weight loss story. The majority of people have a weight loss story or a severely underweight story of like, hey, I struggled to put on muscle and I can literally help you do this too. So it's, you know, the experience that backs also that education. And that's why it's so effective of like when someone's struggling, ask the question because we can help you, right? Or we can find someone in the ecosystem that can help you and we'll make sure that you have what you need.

Well, definitely not an ad. No, it's not an ad. Yeah. Hey, I'll also tell you, I saw our video for this, and you did the voiceover on it. Yeah. Really good job. Thank you.

It was awesome. Thank you. It's all Joe. Makes me sound good. Joe does make me sound good. I was going to say. It was literally perfect. Like, it fit the video.

It was the perfect. Like, it was perfect. It was great. So I just want to let you know. It's Will Grumpke, bro. Like, it fit the video. It was the perfect. Like, it was perfect. It was great. So I just want to let you know. It's Will Grumpke, bro. Yeah, I know. Everything's perfect. All right, so we do have this show, okay?

I got some good ones for you. Do you? I got some good ones for everybody. All right. Yeah, let's get into these. Guys, Andy, Matt, matt will question number one uh hey andy i changed my path for the better and how i eat train and what information i now consume i feel much better about my life and i'm really enjoying it i have a family member who's the polar opposite okay 31 years old uh hasn't

saved a cent in years drinks a lot lot, no consistency, terrible friend group. He lives with me and my girlfriend. We try to inspire him to be a better version with every way possible and I can't get any traction. I know he's down in the dumps constantly and we do worry. I've tried a loving approach, a real AF approach, telling him to man the F up, but we get nowhere. I thought inspiring him with my actions might help, but it doesn't. You don't want to give up, but I'm truly stumped for next steps.

How do you get these people to snap out of their bullshit when they absolutely know they need to? What do you think, bro? Well, to me, this is probably the most challenging aspect of personal development is dealing with people as you're going throughout your journey. Like the workouts are tough. Making money is tough. Doing all these things is tough. But having to deal with the people around you that refuse to change is by and large the toughest part.

So I've dealt with this and deal with this, you know, like, but one of the things I'd say is like, you can try every single approach you want, but at the end of the day, some people just have to get to a certain place before they actually realize it. And you can be the best example. You can say all the right things in every single way that you possibly can. And you should like, you should try to reach out and extend an olive branch, but you can, you can only lead a horse to water. You can't make them drink. So maybe the situation is at a point where they just have to hit rock bottom themselves to, you know, have that come to Jesus moment and look in the mirror and say, you know, I have to change and you can't force

that. That's a journey that they have to go on themselves. Like, just like I'm sure this person did themselves, you know, I'm sure they were, they might not have been as bad as this individual that lives with them, but you know, at the same time, like everybody has that moment, everybody has that day, that moment, that fuck, what is my life come to moment? And everybody has that at different stages and different rock bottom looks different for everybody. And, you know, maybe that has to be the case where they just have to get to that moment. Um, but I would never stop being the best example that you possibly can be. And to me, that's the most powerful thing that you can do. You can, you can say that this person should do what they should do until they're blue in the face,

but at the end of the day, just be the best example and then let them go on their journey. It is a tough situation. I'd like to hear your guys' input about the living situation of that, because that can be very sticky. That energy can be very sticky of somebody being negative and you're trying to facilitate a very positive environment. You know, imagine, you know, somebody here in this building, you know, with that kind of energy, you kick them right the fuck out. But it's not as simple as that with family. It's not as simple as that. So how would you guys navigate that? Yeah, I mean, I think to your point, it's not as simple, right? However, you know, I think about me in the beginning of my journey, I would have definitely let them live there. I'd have let them walk all over me.

But learning to communicate those things and setting boundaries for yourself is one of the best things that every individual has to. And then also redefining what does family mean to you? And also what is, you know, the impact that you're going to allow family to have on your life? Right. Because again, we talk about it like, all right, you don't get to pick your family. Right. And at times I think it's over-exaggerated how important like family is in the sense of like loyalty to the family. When in reality, it's like, what are the actions of that individual as a human first? And for me, you know, I had to redefine that inside of my brain, because I'll tell you,

there's family members that I have exiled from my life that I won't see them. I won't talk to them. I don't wish them ill, but like the rest of my family knows, nope, they're not invited. You know, Christmas at my house. Nope. They're not invited because of the actions that they took that like, have I forgiven them? Sure. Will I ever speak to them again? Probably not. But that's okay. In my brain, I've redefined what that is for me. I'm comfortable with it. It was hard.

But I think you have to really think through that process. So I can't give the exact answer because I think it depends a little bit on the situation and how that individual feels. But if it's me, I'd remove them from my home. I wouldn't handle it or I wouldn't deal with it on a day-to-day basis. That's for sure. It's like, hey, if I can confidently answer, I've tried to do everything I'd remove them from my home. I wouldn't handle it or I wouldn't deal with it on a day-to-day basis. That's for sure. It's like, hey, if I can confidently answer, I've tried to do everything I can to help them within reason and they're not willing to help themselves.

Cool. I'm going to invest that energy in something else that moves my life forward. I think we also have to acknowledge the fact that a lot of times people that are in these situations where they're receiving extra help that is outside the realm of what we would normally do for people, are actually abusers. They're manipulators. They will put guilt on you. They will put shame on you.

They will try to make you continue to do these extra service things, take care of them, provide for them, make sure they're not out on the street. When a lot of times dude getting out on the street is probably what the fuck this dude needs. Okay. He needs to get a real dose of reality of what it is to not be a functioning human being. You know, we didn't have these problems with anxiety and depression a hundred years ago, because if you didn't get up and go do what you were supposed to do, you fucking starved. Okay. And that's the reality for most of us responsible humans. We understand that we take that responsibility on our own. And so when I hear a situation like this, I can see through the manipulation happening because maybe I've had it happen and have a

little bit more life experience. Um. But this is manipulation, bro. And this guy's sucking your energy. You're out here being like, let me put it to you this way. How much further and how much faster would you be going if you weren't spending all this time trying to lug this motherfucker along? Okay. The truth of the matter is, is he's costing you opportunity in your life. He's costing you opportunity with your girlfriend. He could potentially ruin that relationship. Who knows what kind of impact he's actually having because he's not supposed to be there. And because you're a good person, which I understand, dude, we all have good hearts. We all understand what the best is, but sometimes having a good heart and

understanding what's best means making a tough decision to literally remove someone from an environment that where they're not contributing now this person was trying and they had a job and they were working and they were getting back on their feet that's completely different but the reality is is what you describe sounds like uh somebody who knows that they have a safety net and is willing to to uh you uh, you know, exploit that for as long as necessary. That's what I feel like when I hear that. And the reality of it is, is it's costing you. And so you have to make a decision and set a boundary. Like we'll said of where's the line for what I'm allowed to, uh, how much I'm going to allow this person to suck

away from my potential. And, um, if you were my friend, I would say to you, I'm going to allow this person to suck away from my potential. And if you were my friend, I would say to you, I would say, well, I would ask you some questions first, obviously, and say, okay, is this person trying? Are they actually doing this? Are they that or this? If the answer is no, I tell you to kick them out, bro, and let them learn the lesson. You know, one of my buddies told me one time, you know, when you stand in the way of karma coming back to people, which, you know, making poor decisions earlier in life and then having to deal with the repercussions is another form of karma. But when you stand in the way of karma that has been earned by people, you're the one that ends up getting punched in the face by it. You get that. Yeah, that's right.

And do you want to step in the front of this guy's bad decision-making for the last year, like two years, five years, ten years? Maybe that's what's stopping him from changing is you standing in front of this guy. Correct. He's not happy. That is what's stopping him, 100%. This person has not learned that there is a much deeper, darker bottom than where they think the fucking bottom is, to your point, Matt.

Well, and the best thing that you can do for this person is to allow them to hit that as quickly as possible because the sooner you hit the bottom the sooner you're going to bounce back up yeah that's right it's you know like the one thing that rings through my head on this because i mean this question is very personal to me right i have an older brother uh and he has a drug problem right he's been my brother all my life you know i'm saying but he's been on drugs for i would say almost the better half of my life that i've known this man you know and he struggles with it and it's like i've had to get to a point where i mean i've done all the helps i've you know done

all the hospital overdose visits i've done all of that stuff but it's like you get to a point where it's like i can't want this more than you want this right um and it's a hard it's a hard decision to make man but you know and i'll tell you this like if you're trying right um and it's a hard it's a hard decision to make man but you know and i'll tell you this like if you're trying to you know you don't want to make that decision because you're trying to avoid the hurt that you're going to you're going to feel it you can't avoid that you know i'm saying but it's like you're staying you are being a crutch for you for this person you're being a massive crutch um there's business parallels here too dude like this is a direct parallel to at to having

employees like those of you who listen who own businesses if you free if you reframe this to that employee who was once really good who has now fallen off who is now apathetic about their their job and their place and they're and you're you love this person you're like fuck dude this was my dude this was my guy and he's yeah bro and they're and they're they're dead in the water and there's nothing you can do to get them to go it is what it is and that's that we have to understand where those boundaries are and and dude another way to look at this it like how i look at this in business is and i haven't always been great at this there's been a lot of people who i've allowed to stay around me way too fucking long after i knew that they were

in this situation so i can empathize with this person for sure um but you have what helped me was reframing how i looked at these situations now when i look at them and i see someone who's in that situation who's unwilling to do the work, who's unwilling to try, who is unwilling to put in the time or the effort of energy to be better. I, I don't look at it like, okay, I'm, I'm failing this person. I'm actually failing the rest of my team. I'm failing the rest of the people that show up here every single day and fucking kick ass and want to win. Okay. And so maybe you should reframe how you're looking at this and maybe look at it as yourself and your girlfriend and how much you're holding that situation back by catering to this guy who's refusing to take responsibility for his own existence. So you only have so much

bandwidth too, right? Like, so think about the people that you could help the people that would be, you know, that want to be helped, right. That want to be helped, that you could help along and give them a better opportunity or whatever. You know, if you had the bandwidth to do so, you could take the energy that you're giving to this person who doesn't seem to care that you're giving them all this energy and give it to somebody who's going to actually take it and run. Yep. One thing I'll add just as a phrase for the business principle that you taught me a long time ago, that's always stuck, so it's easy to remember. And that is, did I fail them or did they fail us? And the us part is getting at, or it really speaks to what you're getting at there. It's not, hey, did they fail me? It's not a, oh, this is a personal thing. It's, hey, did I fail them as the leader or did they

fail us? I always go with that. I give give them the benefit of doubt in the first part first yep like when someone starts to fade off and someone starts to like like i consider things i'm like okay is this person going through some personal shit or is this person sick or is there some what's going on did they not get the right instructions yeah like i work through the list and then when i get to that point i'm like okay did i fail this person are they in the wrong spot what the fuck have i done and then but then like when they then there's like a very quick flipping over of the truth which is usually they failed us and that's the reality bro and like it sucks because it you know we would all like to keep our friends and family around and make them safe and make them but sometimes dude people have to be pushed out the door to realize how cold it is on

the outside before they decide what to do, what it is they need to do to get warm. It's the only way it works. Yeah. And if you do decide to cut ties with this person, just cut ties with them. Like you, like to me, at least I just think about like ex-girlfriends, right? Or, you know, when you're like, oh, just come back over for dinner. Oh, it'll be okay. It's like, nope.

It never ends. If you make the decision to like remove this person or at least keep your distance, whatever that boundary is appropriate at, then you need to uphold that decision, like, absolutely, undeniably, for a very, very long time. Until it's undeniable that they fixed their problem. Correct. Because I love my brother to death, but I've made that very clear. Like, until there is an undeniable, those are my exact words, bro.

Like, I can't allow it. It's super've made that very clear. Like until there is an undenied, those are my exact words, bro. Like I can't allow it. It's super important, man. Yeah. Super important. Guys, Andy, question number two. Hey, Andy, are there any beliefs or perspectives around money that you wish you had when you were broke? I feel like we've been conditioned to think that money will solve all of our problems, yet it seems like many people who are financially free don't make it seem that way.

I know you talk about how important money is and having it, but is there any new perspective that you have now having wealth that you wish you could impart on your younger self? Man, first of all, you never hear someone who's got a whole bunch of money saying that it sucks to have a whole bunch of money. Okay? Like all your friends and your fucking stupid people in your life that have never had a motherfucking thing telling you that, you know, money's for evil people or you're immoral because you seek money

or all this shit. You have to throw all that advice out the window because they have no idea what they're talking about. They have no perspective. There's not a person in the world that has an abundance of money that says, fuck, I wish I didn't have this. I wish I had less of this. I'll trade my life for...

That doesn't happen, dude. Now you'll have these people who are rich, who have always been rich, who were born into wealth, who will say stupid things like, you know, I wish I could just go be a regular person. Or I wish, you know, I wasn't born in, like, because they don't have the perspective of anything else. Okay? But for those of us who have had to eat ramen noodles and do what the fuck we got to do to survive, maybe suck a couple dicks. Right, DJ? All right so look if you don't know

what twenty dollars about you ain't ever been broke all right but here's the reality man you never hear winners saying shit like this they don't say it $20 is about, you ain't ever been broke. All right? But here's the reality, man. You never hear winners saying shit like this. They don't say it because it's not true. All right? The pursuit of financial freedom is a requirement to fulfill your obligation as an American citizen. All right? That's why the fuck all these people died, bro. This is the land of opportunity. If you don't go out and pursue success and wealth, you're failing that.

You're failing yourself. you're failing your family, and you're failing everybody that looks at you as an example of what things could be like if I actually applied myself. That's a massive failure of life. So it is important for people to recognize that having financial resources not only enriches your life, but gives you options in life. And that's what it's about. It's not about loving money to have more money. It's not about having money so you can buy more shit. It's about having the options to live a life that I choose to live. If I wanted to right now do what all these guys on Instagram are doing and go get me a fucking van and travel the earth and be in a van for the rest of my life. I could, and I would never have to work another day in my life. They can't do that. They can only

do that temporarily, but they will be the first ones to tell you that somebody like me is fucked up in the head for wanting to pursue financial success. Well, I can do what you love your dream life for as long as I want. And you can't. So you understand? There's options here. And yes, there's a responsible way to look at money. The pursuit, and here's the irony, the only way you ever really get money is by trading it for real value, okay? So like this idea of chasing wealth and making money

in an immoral way really only applies to the elite, elite, elite people of society. The rest of us who have to work in this modified, handicapped version of capitalism that we exist in, we have to trade real value for money. We have to provide a benefit for money. We have to do something that people are willing to pay for. It's not like we can just force them to give us the money like the government does. Okay. So we have you, the truth of it is, is that for you to be successful financially, you have to operate on a high moral standard of exchange of value. You have to give more value

than what that person perceives the money is worth. That's how business works. So like this whole idea that business people are evil or selfish or whatever. It's, it's fucking loser talk. It's shit that people say when they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. And they're too lazy to get the fuck up and actually do something on their own. So let's start there. Your life will be immensely better with more money facts. Okay. Now what would I tell my younger self? I would tell him that I would say, Hey dude, don't listen to any of these people. Not only do these people not have anything now, they're not going to have anything 20 years from now,

and they're going to be working a job they hate, doing things that they hate because they have to. Okay? Well, if you stick on your path and you keep going and you ignore everything they say, you're going to be in a position to do other things that you want. But here's the cool thing, young buck. You're going to love what you do so much that you're not going to give a fuck about the money. You're just going to love doing it and the money's going to come in. And that's how it actually works for people who understand how

business is really built. So, you know, in my opinion, I think it's just important for young people not to buy into this mentality that we see so often online, which is I am of higher moral character and I am more intelligent and more refined. And I am a better person because I do not seek money. That is fucking bullshit. Those people do not seek money because they do not want to get off their fucking ass and do hard things. And because they don't do hard things,

they're never going to have more than what they have now. And I promise you when you go find them in 20 years and you get them to tell the truth, they're going to say, fuck, I wish I hadn't have fucked away that time. Okay. Because those people always end up in a bind later. They end up like the first question where the dude's on the couch and they can't get off the couch because they fucking have no ability because they fucked away their twenties and their thirties. All right. So you have to understand, dude, money's a great thing. It's a great tool. It's not the purpose. It's not the end all. It's not the prize or the pursuit. It's a resource that you earn that allows you to live a higher quality of life. And that's just

reality. And then, you know, if you really want to take it further on your people who think, you know, that they're better than you when you talk about money, who can help more people? The person with no money or the person that can build, you know, school in Haiti? Because I did that. You see what I'm saying? Who can help more people? The people who go out and serve soup on Thanksgiving and Christmas or the guy who can stroke a check for 10 fucking soup kitchens anytime he fucking wants to and does so every single fucking year who can help more people yeah okay so these people that say these things are full of shit and you need to understand that as a young human being

especially in today's cultural environment of the resurgence of hippie culture okay I'm I'm connected to other things motherfucker you're going to be connected to the bread line in 20 fucking years you just don't know it yet okay so what do you guys say at the soup kitchen that i pay for yeah that's what i'm saying like it's just garbage nonsense dude we have to consider the source we have to look at the source of where the information is coming from your aunt paula who fucking has never done a motherfucking thing, okay, who's always been poor, who drives a 1987 rusted out Chevrolet Cavalier, doesn't know a fucking thing about money.

And you know what she's going to say about people that have money? That she doesn't like them. You know why? Because she doesn't have any, all right? Money's a great thing. You should be friends with people who have money because those people are actually going to be functional human beings who can actually, who will rub off on you in positive ways. Like dude, money is the fucking scorecard of reality. It just is. All right. Like

it just is. Now there's other scorecards as well. It's not the only scorecard, but it is a scorecard. How effective of a human are you? How many people are you serving? How many people are you helping? Because all of those people are exchanging those things for money. So the amount of money you have can become directly proportional to the moral quality of your life. If you look at it the right way, people just don't because it's easy to hate on people with money when you don't fucking have any. And you're surrounded by a bunch of people that never had any, and they all hate people with money. Okay. But here's, here's where I'll close this topic out and you guys can contribute however you want. Um, if you hate on people with

money, you're telling the universe that you don't like money and you know what the universe is going to deliver you, deliver to you a whole lot of no money. All right. So be careful what you think when you see people, be careful what you think when you see people, be careful what you say. And it's not just what you say. It's not just your remark you make to your friend. It's what you feel. And it's what you think in your heart. When you see someone win and you start hating on them for winning, you're telling the world, you're telling the universe, you're telling God, I don't like winning. And that's going to deliver no winning to you. So you better be real careful about what you think and what you say about money and make

sure it's the truth before you start thinking it and saying it, because that's exactly what you're going to end up getting. Love it, man. Yeah, money and power are very similar in that they're both tools, right? With a hammer, you can either build a building or you can hit somebody in the face with it, right? And power and money are amoral, but we've been conditioned to think that because people have historically done bad things

with both of those things, that that's the problem with power and money. But that's not true. People have done equally good things with money. People have done equally good things with power. And so you should strive to have that tool in your life. You should strive for power. You should strive for money. So that way you being a moral individual that wants to see the world be better can wield it for good. Dude, that's a huge point. Okay. You, as if you consider yourself a good person, you have a actual responsibility to become as rich as you fucking can, because you're the person who needs to be wealthy. You're the person who needs to be wealthy. You're the person who needs to help people. You're the person who needs to turn around and take that money and do good things with

it. Yes, there are plenty of evil people with money, but we need good people with money too. So if you fancy yourself a good human being with a good heart and you're not chasing money to go get some money so you can do some good shit, you're lying to yourself. I mean, look at Elon Musk right now. He's one of the richest men in the world, not the richest and he's wielding his money to try to make the world better and on the other side of that is george soros who's extremely rich as well who decides to destroy society

instead so you can choose what you want to be you can either be on the sidelines you know watching the game or you can get in the game and try to be one of the players and you know make history go in your direction that you want it to go in what do you think well i think an important part when you say you know gives you options right something that resonated with me was money gives you the option to prevent the bad right so like so many times people think about oh what can i buy what can I do what can I experience what can I go you know where can I go all these different things however just you know growing up um you know watching my mom battle cancer watching things happen in my life my dad lost everything watching just different scenarios that aren't like the world's worst scenarios in

the world but just looking at it my relationship relationship with money became, okay, I got to have enough money to where if my family members get sick, I can pay for it without a doubt. Or, you know, I got to have enough money that if, you know, I lose my job or shit happens or whatever the case may be, I'm good. My family's good because, you know, something that I always connect with is like, okay, as a human, it is my obligation to protect and provide those, you know, for those that are around me. Okay. Well protect them and being able to have the financial means to do whatever it is that I need to do to survive and be successful and thrive, protect them. And, uh, you know, and then, you know, provide for them in the sense of like, okay, what is that for my

family in the future? What is that for the people around me? You know, because otherwise my family's going to work until they're dead, right? There is no retirement plan there. So it's like, okay, well, if I really truly feel that that's my calling and that's at my core, well, I got to have those things, right? Now, and on top of that, you start actually thinking about, and this is where I think a lot of, you know, because I'm 32 years young, I didn't understand money for a long time, right? But really thinking about what is the cost to live, right? And what is the cost to live at the level that you want? You know, even when you think about, all right, well, that nice truck that that guy drives, well, how much is that? You know, trucks now, 80, 90, $100,000, easy, right? Okay, well, what is that payment every single month,

right? And then, you know, people think about, oh, well, it'd be nice to have this. It'd be nice to have that. Okay, well, start actually looking at the numbers of it. And for me, at least, I started thinking about, well, if I want those things, if I really want that in my life, well, again, I have to build enough value, provide enough value to where I can earn the money to be able to afford that. Right. Cause otherwise, if we're just saying, Hey, I want that truck. I want that house. I want that, whatever. And you've never looked up the actual price, right? Well, then you're never going to be willing to put in the effort to build enough value to afford that price. And so for me, at least those like two different things of one, you know, thinking about what it can prevent in your life, sickness, tragedy, things like that.

Or if those things strike, you can overcome those more quickly. But then also like, actually, what does it cost? And if you don't look at those things, in my opinion, you're lying to yourself on why you should or shouldn't have money. I think also, dude, it's important to note that whatever you think you need, when you design your life and you say, all right, I want this kind of home. I want this kind of cash in my bank account. I want this kind of car to drive. I want these things. I want this kind of life. Whatever you calculate that amount to be, you need, you need to like 10 X that amount. Cause that's what you're actually going to need. All right. And that's going to be the actual amount of work it's going to take to get you where you want to go for a lot of reasons. Okay.

We have inflation. We have the devaluation of money. By the time you're fucking 65 years old, you're a hundred thousand dollars is going to be like a hundred dollars. All right. You, we don't think about these things when we're young so your goals that you set for yourself financially you should like legitimately like will saying figure out what you think you need to earn and then you need to try to earn 10 times that amount that's that's really how it works and um if you try to earn the amount that you know we've all heard the saying you know shoot for the moon and you'll land among the stars well if you try to earn the amount that, you know, we've all heard the saying, you know, shoot for the moon and you'll land among the stars. Well, if you try to earn the minimum amount that's going to provide your life, you're probably going to end up with like 60 to 70% of that amount in the end. So, uh, to add to Will's point, you know, I would take what it is you think you need. And I would

like 10 X that. And then I would think about what needs to happen to earn that and then that will put you somewhere where you're going to be happy to be long term yeah love it like if you're a guy who thinks oh i have a job and i just need to make 250 grand a year you need to be saying bro i need to make two and a half million a year how how can i do that and then work like you're going for that and then that will get you on the path to actually being financially uh because you end up at like 800 maybe all right maybe even more maybe you get on that path of providing that crazy value uh and you start you know figuring out how to make even maybe you end up making 25 who knows dude you never know till you're on the path most people just don't get on the path yeah i. I love that, man. Well guys, Andy, our third and final question, question number three, what specific tactics or tools

do you use to combat procrastination and ensure swift execution in your daily routines? Well, I have this thing that I use called the production pivot all right and what that is is i have trained and first of all if you're not working to build your discipline and your mental toughness you're never going to figure out how to overcome this problem of procrastination but the little hack that i use and that i train myself takes practice, but you can pick it up pretty quick, is that when you first start hearing that voice that tells you to take it easy or you've earned a break or you'll do it tomorrow, you should train yourself to hear that voice to spring you into productive action right then and there.

Okay? That means the minute you start hearing your inner bitch voice, start telling you, man, this can wait till tomorrow, or man, you had a really hard day. You know, we'll just pick this up tomorrow. Or you know what? I'm going to wait. The minute you hear that should be an indicator for you to go do that thing. And then you should get up and go do it. Because dude, when you become the kind of person who can take that voice of procrastination or that voice of discouragement or that voice of excuse making inside of your brain, and you can use that as a trigger to propel you into productive action towards that thing that you're working towards, you become an unstoppable human.

Because now you're not only doing things when you feel like doing them, but you're also using the negative self-talk that we all have of procrastination or doubt or frustration or anger or pain that comes in the form of a little conversation in the back of your mind saying, man, fuck this today. I'm tired, blah, blah, blah. And you get up right there and you go do the thing. How can you ever be stopped? What can ever stop you? Okay. Like you had a bad day. That's the reason you should go do the thing. Oh, you got kicked in the balls today by work. All right. Well, this is where you go do the extra stuff that you're pissed off about doing and do it so well that it benefits you towards what you're trying to do. And if you can harness those negative thoughts and emotions and flip them into productive action, now you're operating on a different level than most everybody else. Cause most everybody else gives into those things. Most

everybody else caves to those thoughts and those, those, those negative little voices that we have in our head and they stop. And you know, because people can't figure this one little thing out, I think is one of the biggest reasons why people can't be successful. What do you think? Yeah, I'd say for me, daily reflection at the end of the day, right? Because I think it's human nature, you know, people procrastinate or you work to the deadline or, you know, you don't have a sense of urgency. You have to build those things, right? And you can strengthen those skills. But daily reflection at the end of the day, for me specifically, is on the drive home after work. Because if you don't want to be someone that procrastinates, okay, well, make that one

of your questions, right? Because I always ask like, hey, what did I do well? What could I have improved? What am I going to do better tomorrow, right? Three simple questions. And at different times in my life, in different phases of my career, it's, it's, you know, more focused on different areas. But if you know that you struggle with procrastination and not taking action, it's like, okay, well, did I take action today? Did I procrastinate today? Right. And I always, you know, put on my social media, like

make yourself proud. And it comes from that daily reflection because you want to be able to make yourself proud when you have that conversation with yourself. And maybe it's, you know, when you're brushing your teeth or whatever works for you. For me, it's the drive home from work and it's okay. Am I proud of how I lived today? Okay. Based off of what needed to be done. And then also what I'm working on to be better for tomorrow and for my future down the road. And so for me, it's just, you know, set it on your calendar, put it in your phone as a reminder, make it part of your, you know you know daily habits of a little daily reflection ask those three questions and whatever that is for you work to make yourself proud and eventually you'll either be so frustrated that you keep putting things off that you're just like damn it i'm just doing it i'm just you know like to your point of

like you got to hit rock bottom well in its own way it's like you're just so you know fed up with your own you're like i am doing better tomorrow, no matter what. And maybe that'll stimulate the action that you need. Yeah. So the way that I sort of frame this conversation is first coming to an understanding of procrastination. I think self-awareness is extremely important and knowing yourself and your own, the way your mind works is a huge part in overcoming the tricks that you play on yourself to get you to not do things that are conducive to the thing that you want. And I think we've all had days where we've been extremely productive and days where we've procrastinated and not done the things that we are supposed to do. And let's compare those two

days, right? The first day, you did everything you were supposed to do and then you did whatever you want after right and then on the other side of the coin you have the day where you did the thing you wanted to do first and then during the time where you were doing the thing you wanted to do you were stressing about the thing that you were supposed to do in the back of your head so you're not even really enjoying the thing that you want to do right so you're you're you're not even you think you're doing the thing you want to do. So you're not even really enjoying the thing that you want to do, right? So you're not even, you think you're doing the thing you want to do, but really you're just kind of doing it while you're also stressed. So you're shooting yourself in the foot, both because you're not taking action, but also because you're not even enjoying the fun time either. So what I would do

is what I do, which is I write a list of all the things that I need to do the following day. I always do it the night before because I make that deal to do the following day. I always do it the night before because I make that deal with myself the night before. I say, okay, this is what I need to do to have a successful day. It's kind of a spinoff of the powerless. I say, this is what I need to do. Once I've done this, I'm good. I did the things I was supposed to do. And I do them and I rank them in order from what I want to do the least to what I want to do the most. And then I do them. And then as soon as I'm done, now I have the freedom to actually do the things that, you know, might be considered unproductive with peace, with actual freedom. And you're not thinking about,

oh, fuck, I got to do this. I got to do that. Like, oh, what time is it? You know, I got that thing due tonight, you know, and it just frees yourself. It's like Jocko says, discipline equals freedom. If you just do the things you're supposed to do early in the morning, get them done, and then you can just do whatever you want. And you've alluded to this in episode 16 in the audio feed in Win the Day. Yeah, dude, look, I think this is a big problem with a lot of people's anxiety too. You know, a lot of people talk about anxiety and both of you guys mentioned it um you know knowing that you're supposed to be doing

something and then not doing the thing is going to cause you anxiety that is the reason for anxiety a lot of you guys think i am anxiety no you have anxiety because you know there's a whole bunch of shit that you're supposed to be doing that you're not doing. And it's making you feel anxious temporarily. And do you know how to overcome that temporary anxiousness? Take action. Do the things you know you're supposed to fucking do and you will feel better. So I'm glad you guys both hit on that because that is a base level misconception about these people who are taught like if i hear one more person talk about them being fucking having

anxiety issues it's like jesus christ dude that's literally just admitting that you don't not only that you don't not only that you've made it your identity now now you've made your identity to try and become someone who never feels stress this is a prop this is the problem I have with all the fucking feel-good motherfuckers out here on the internet That are in their feelings and shit. They make it their whole identity to be like this Zen master Fucking weird motherfucker who's going to avoid all the negative feelings in life. I'm going to be stress-free I'm going to have clear energy. I'm going to have zero anxiety. And look, dude, if you're a human being with a pulse, those are things that are part of the human experience. And if we are to focus all of our

life, trying to eliminate shit, that is part of our human experience. We are going to be consistently fucking disappointed. And here's the problem with this, is that when you focus on removing all the stress or all the anxiety, something that is literally impossible, that means you're setting out on a path to an absolute 100% certain failure. And every single time, because the expectation is that you can get to this place that is impossible to get to, every single time you feel the anxiety, you feel the stress, you're going to have an exaggerated response to those things. You're going to be extra pissed off. You're going to be extra anxious. You're going to feel like you're broken because you are trying to eliminate something that cannot be eliminated.

So you have to start understanding stress, anxiety, pressure, fear. These are parts of the human experience that cannot be eliminated. No matter how much fucking mushrooms you eat or how much grounding you do or how many journals you write in or how many bowls you fucking meditate with it doesn't fucking matter you are going to feel these things and if you do not understand that and pay attention to what they're trying to tell you you are setting yourself up for legitimate constant frustration and aggravation. And you know, now you become one of these people who needs to be on all kinds of drugs and go to all kinds of therapy because you think there's something wrong with you. And in reality, it's just your body telling you physically that there's

shit you're supposed to be doing that you're, that you know, in here you're supposed to do in your fucking gut that you're not doing. It's that simple. So when you start to feel these things, start to ask yourself, what was I supposed to do? Why am I feeling anxious? Why am I frustrated? Why am I angry? And then address those issues and the things go away. But trying to eliminate things that cannot be eliminated, Like imagine, imagine being pissed off every single time you felt gravity. Okay. And you think that like you, you heard on the internet that you could eliminate gravity. And so you go out every day on your front porch from the fourth step up and you jump off the fucking step thinking that you've eliminated gravity and you hit the ground and every single time you get fucking pissed off and then you write a instagram post about i failed again today i failed i must

be broken i'm a i'm a damaged human being i need to go to therapy for my failure to eliminate something that cannot be a lip like it sounds absurd that's what you sound like that's what it sounds like to me like when you talk about this shit, that's what I hear. 100%. Well, guys, Andy, Will, Matt, that's all I got. All right. Don't be a hoe. Share the show.

Went from sleeping on the floor. Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a bowl, fuck a stove. Counted millions in the cold. Bad bitch, booty swole. Got her on bankroll. Can't fold. Just a no. Headshot, case closed. Outro Music