REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 629. Real Talk: Stepping Outside The Boundaries

Episode Date: January 11, 2024

In today's Real Talk, Andy Talks about why people will project their insecurities and lack of action toward goals onto you and the best way to avoid these people and their tactics that can be detrimental to your success.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. Welcome to motherfucking reality guys, today we have real talk. I'm just going to get right into it as usual. Look, a lot of you guys are working to make changes in your life, okay? You are trying hard to change the direction that you have been going. Maybe you need a little brush up. Maybe you need a total tear down and rebuild. Who knows? It's irrelevant. But when we set out on these new paths, we inevitably meet resistance from people who are on different paths. And I want to talk a little bit about that today. I was scrolling through Instagram yesterday and I saw this video on a car page. For those of you that don't know, I like cars. Cars are awesome. Big part of my life

is cars and I fucking love them. All right. And I saw this video of this dude going down the road in a Lamborghini and he had the top down and he was having a fucking blast driving his car. Big ass smile on his face. Hard up shifts. Having a good time. Laughing. Enjoying his life. I loved it. And then I looked at the comments.

And the comments were thousands deep. And while there were the occasional comment of, this is awesome, I love this, this is great, look at this guy, he's happy as fuck, the comment section was filled with fucking losers, okay? Everybody was saying things like this, our money can't buy you happiness, you know, look at all the money he spent on that car, he could have been doing this or this or this

I guarantee you when that guy goes home He's not really happy Okay, first of all, motherfucker None of you are happy Not a single motherfucking one of you Making those comments about someone on the internet are happy Second of all, you have no idea what that man has gone through You have no idea what he's done

You have no idea the price he's paid You have no idea And I say this to say this to you. They don't know what the fuck they are talking about. All right. That's your friends. That's your family. That's the people who tell you that money won't make you happy. Money makes you a lot fucking happier than not having it. And you never hear someone who has some money saying any of these things. And the point is this, people who are set on staying exactly where they are, are always going to say things to you to make you feel bad about going on your journey. We have to become more aware. We have to say, hey, am I going to listen to this person who's

never had any money, who's never had any success, who's never done anything about his perspective on what this thing does in my life? No, we are not. All right. So take this situation that I'm talking about money and apply it to literally any other situation in your life. It could be your fitness. It could be a new job. It could be a new relationship. It could be a new realignment of what you believe your purpose to be. It could be a whole bunch of different things. But here's the thing. When you change what it is that everybody else knows you as, you are going to meet resistance and you are going to get comments from the peanut gallery. All right. I call them the crickets. Okay. Cause crickets like to chirp. And when crickets chirp,

the most is when you're not around, they chirp and they chirp and they chirp and they chirp. And they're loud as fuck until what? Until you walk right up on them and then they get silent. And that is the world that we live in. We live in a world of loser crickets. We live in a world of regular people who are never going to do shit, who have already given up on their dreams, who have already decided that they are going to be this certain kind of person from now until the time that they die. And when you step out the boundaries that they have set for themselves, you are going

to hear about it. You are going to get negativity. You are going to get people laughing at you. You are going to get negativity. You are going to get people laughing at you. You are going to get people making fun of you. You are going to get people telling you that you're not being realistic and that you're not humble and that you're not a good person and that they're morally superior. Look, dude, this is the price of admittance. Too many of you are worried about this chirping and not worried about what it is you're trying

to do and doing that. Because here's the thing about success and winning in any area of life, not just monetarily, is that the further you go, the further away you get from those people. And the further away you get from those people, the less you give a fuck about what they have to say about you. But most people spend their entire lives seeking the approval of people who don't even approve of themselves. They don't even appreciate their own skills or their own gifts or even think about their own potential. So who the fuck are you to think that you have potential if they don't? That's their perspective. Their perspective is you're just like us. You're not one of them.

What are you doing trying to be one of them? You're one of us. And anytime you try to become one of them, you become the topic of conversation. All right. And this is what it takes. This is what it costs. This is what we deal with whenever we're stepping out to do anything or change anything about our lives. We are removing ourselves from the boundaries of normalcy and common and moving ourselves within the boundaries of exceptional. And that makes other people uncomfortable because it forces them to examine their own potential and their own reality and face the facts that they have exercised absolutely none of it. That is what you are dealing with. You are not dealing with actual hate. You are dealing with them hating themselves and projecting it on you. Okay. And if you're not capable, if you're not able, if you're not someone who can tolerate this sort of criticism, and you're going to bend your will to these people who can never be pleased. They can never be pleased. You will lose. And you won't just lose today. You'll lose tomorrow.

You'll lose next week. You'll lose next month. You'll lose next year. And you're going to end up being a loser just like they will. So first off, you have to understand people who've known you your whole life, who've known you through all the ups and downs, and who have been around you your whole existence, these are the people with the most to say. These are the people with the most chirps. These are the people that say, who do you think you are? What are you trying to do? Don't forget where you came from. You need to be a little more humble. You need to think more realistically.

When are you going to get serious about thinking realistic? We've all heard this shit and a million other things, and it always comes from the same people. It comes from the people, and I can tell you this because I have the perspective. It comes from the people who are never going to do a single fucking thing in their entire lives. They are going to sit there. They're going to get fat. They're going to get lazy.

They're going to stay broke. They're going to stay miserable. And they're going to try to keep you there as well. Okay, this is crabs in a bucket mentality. If you try to escape, they try to pull you back in. And you have to escape, they try to pull you back in and you have to escape because if you don't, you will live your whole life doing the exact same things you've always done with the exact same people you've always done them, getting the exact same result that you've always gotten.

And that's what has you frustrated and angry and pissed off and aggravated with yourself. But then the minute you try to change it and these people start to chirp, you start to get scared. You start to pull back. You start to say, well, I don't know if I'm really trying to do that. Dude, look, you need to step the fuck up and go at this without apologizing, without making compromise, without trying to satisfy these people who will never be satisfied. Because if you spend any amount of energy trying to make them happy when they can never be happy, that's less energy that you have to spend on what it is you're trying to do. Okay, so realize this. The world's miserable for the most part. Miserable people are the loudest

for the most part. And the people who are the loudest for the most part. And the people who are going to be the absolute loudest are the people that have known you your whole life. They're going to be people you grew up with. They're going to be friends. They're going to be family. They're going to be neighbors. They're going to be people who say, what are you doing? What do you mean you're doing that? What are you just going to do that? When I started in business, dude, I had everybody telling me this shit. Everybody. At first it was, oh, that's so cool you're starting a business. And then after, you know, it wore off, it was, hey, when are you going to get more realistic?

When are you going to go get a real job? When are you going to stop playing business? Do you still have that little vitamin shop? Then 10 years in, when we started First Form, it was, what are you making that stuff in your bathtub? What, you're just going to start a supplement company? You're in St. Louis. No one's going to buy that. No one's going to buy those supplements.

Okay? Well, guess what, motherfucker? People do buy them. And I'm sitting here today talking to you because I didn't listen to any of the shit they told me. But you're just trying to get in shape. You're just trying to improve your life a little bit. And you're worried about what your old friends from the old neighborhood have to say about it. Dude, listen, if you can't insulate yourself mentally and get enough callous in your mind to ignore the negativity that people use against you, you cannot win. And on top of that, if you lack the ability to take their words, to take their snarky comments, to take their disrespect

and turn it into productive action, you can't win because there's an abundance of this energy at all times. It doesn't matter where you are on the path. It doesn't matter if you're on day one or day 1000 or day 10,000. There's always going to be people that don't believe there are people every single day when I tell them what the fuck I'm going to do that tell me I'm full of shit, even to this point. And I've been doing this for 25 years. And by all accounts, any standard, anyone's standard, I've done very well. Okay. This is the price of the ticket to play the game. You are going to have to learn to deal with negativity. You're going to have to look people in the eye and say, fuck off. And you are going to have to take negativity, doubt, disbelief, and turn it in to productive action. Because I can promise you,

no matter what the internet gurus tell you, no matter what the feel-good meditators out there tell you, you will have far more available negative energy to work with than you will positive. And if you spend all your time trying to remove every bit of negativity and control everything that people think and control everything that people say, you will have no energy left to go build the thing. So let's start today. Fuck what they think. Fuck what they have to say and start moving forward. It's your life. You only have one. And I can think of no bigger tragedy than for someone to waste all of their life and all of their potential and all of their potential story and their example, which, by the way, is needed more than ever right now in this country. And wasting it because some fucking idiot who's never going to do shit is saying some bullshit in your ear. Okay, that's weak as fuck.

You have an obligation to extract the potential that is within you. You were given gifts. You were given a purpose. You may not know what they are yet, but it is your duty to figure out what they are. It is your duty to become the best possible version of yourself. It's not just about you. It's not just about whatever you're going to get. It's about the example that you're setting for every single person around you. It's the example in your household. It's the example in your neighborhood. It's the example in your community. It's the example in your city. It's the example in your state. And if we all took that seriously, the world wouldn't look the way that it looks.

So think about that for a second. Our entire world looks like a fucking dumpster fire because people are so uncomfortable with criticism that they bow to it and they shrink themselves and they make themselves irrelevant so that they can avoid any sort of critiques or criticism or comments. And by the way, you're still going to get comments even when you do that. They're just going to be different. It's going to be, this guy's a loser. Why didn't you ever do anything with your life? What could you have been, but you aren't?

Look what you could have done. So you're going to get it no matter what. You're going to get it no matter what. You're either going to get it for going out and trying hard and falling on your face and they're going to laugh at you because you are going to fall on your face. Or you're going to get it for not trying and you're going to be called a loser and you're going to be made fun of and you're going to get walked on and walked over your whole entire life. You're not going to have money to pay your bills. You're not going to have the ability to live the life that you want.

It's your choice. But the negativity is going to come either way. It's just choosing which one you want to deal with. And I'm telling you guys right now, when I see comments like that on the internet, thousands deep of people saying shit like, oh, look at this guy. He's this and that and this. It makes me fucking laugh. It makes me fucking laugh because I know that every single one of those people would trade places with that man in one fucking millisecond, but they're cowards and they're pussies and they're weak. And so they, all they do is they go on the internet and talk some shit instead of ever going out and building stuff like you're trying to do. So if you're on the journey and you're having trouble dealing with this,

remember this, this is true for everyone. This is part of the path. This is the price of admission. You have to learn to tolerate it and then use it to get yourself where you want to go. I don't give a fuck if it's your mom. I don't care if it's your dad. I don't care if it's your brother. I don't care if it's your neighbor. I don't care if it's your aunt or your uncle or your friends. I don't give a shit who it is because every single time I talk about this, you guys say, well, what do you do if it's your parents? Well, you get the fuck away from them. What do you do if it's your brother? You tell your brother to eat a dick and go do the shit you're going to do. Okay. That's reality. Your life is your life. Your parents approving of your life. And by the time you're an adult is irrelevant. If you got some shitty parents,

I'm sorry. Lots of people have gone out and done incredible things with shitty fucking parents. Lots of people have gone out and done incredible things with incredible amounts of hardship, a million times harder than what you faced. Well, how do you know what I faced? I don't need to know because there's motherfuckers out here who are deaf, dumb, and blind creating fucking billions of dollars. And you're fucking over here sitting there crying about what you can and can't do because your parents said some comment to you about being realistic.

Grow the fuck up. Okay, do you want it or do you not want it? Do you want to become what it is you want to become? Or do you want to sit there and think about what it is you could have became? Those are your options. And guess what? You're going to get made fun of both ways. So grow the fuck up, get a backbone, understand it's the price of admission, use it for fuel to move forward and go kick some ass. The world needs your story. The world needs your example. The world needs everything that you are. It needs, it doesn't need you to sit there like a bump on the log and drink fucking Bud Lights at the fucking bar on Tuesday. It needs you to go out and become your ultimate potential. It needs you to become the personal excellence example so

that everybody else knows what the fuck that looks like. That is a duty of yours as an individual. And I don't care if you have zero followers. I don't care if you have a gazillion followers. I don't care if you have no platform or a massive podcast, your example matters. And it matters a lot to people that you don't even know yet. Your example, your potential,

the thing that you're going to become will inspire people that you haven't even fucking met yet. It'll change the course of people's lives. But you're too worried about what people have to say. And those people that have to say that, you don't even know them. They're on the internet. And the people you do know, what the fuck are they doing? Oh, that's right. They're sitting there criticizing everybody, blaming everybody for everything, thinking they got the world figured out when clearly they fucking don't. They live in a shithole. They drive a shithole. They got a shitty bank account. They got a shitty life.

They look like shit. And you're listening to them about what the fuck you should do. That's insanity, dude. Dude, we got to look at the environment that we live in. We live in this victim culture environment that is all full of people who are trying to be fulfilled and happy and have this great life. And they somehow don't need any money. Have you ever met someone that's truly happy that can't pay their fucking bills? Have you ever met someone that's truly happy that can't fucking eat? Oh, well, you know what? I can serve people.

Motherfucker, can you serve more people with money or can you serve more people with no money? You might be able to go serve some soup on Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I can build fucking schools and I do. Okay, so let's get realistic about what they're telling us. They're telling us we don't need these things. We need to be fulfilled. We need to go out and touch the ground and breathe the air. No shit, Sherlock.

That's what the fuck we're supposed to do. But it makes it a lot easier when you have the financial means to do some shit in real life. And if you actually gave a fuck about helping people, you would get serious about making lots of money because you can help so many more people. All right. I can do this all day. I can defeat these fucking losers all motherfucking day. Because they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. They're repeating something that is programmed into our society to keep you powerless. We talk about this on the show all the time. They want you fat. They want you sick. They want you broke. They want you confused. They want you dumb. Because when you do all of these things, you become a mega consumer.

If you're fat, you're eating their food. If you eat their food, you get sick. If you get sick, you have to use their drugs. You become a perpetual customer of theirs by becoming this thing that they tell you you should become based around moral standard, which isn't even fucking true. And these people who tell you this in real life, they are cancer. They will kill your dreams. What do we do with cancer? We cut it out. So if you have people in your life, and I don't care if it's your mom, I don't care if it's your

dad, I don't care who it is. And they're feeding you this line of shit. Every time you're out here trying to build or create, you need to get away from them because building and creating takes so much energy that we cannot afford to use any of it wasted on people who are not on the fucking same journey. And you also can't expect people who aren't on the journey to ever understand what you're trying to do until you go out and do it. Because once you go out and do it, that makes things click over in people's brains. People like, oh shit. And this is why your example is so important. You can preach it. You can talk about it. You can go to every seminar. You can listen to every podcast. You can buy every course. You can do all the shit, but until you build it, until you become it, they will not change. So if you actually care about these people, distance yourself from them.

Go out and become what it is you say you're going to become and let them fucking see it because that's what will change them. That's what will change the culture. That's what's going to change the country. You guys complain about America, but you're not being the Americans that we need. We need personal excellence. That means you, not everybody else, you, and you have to become it. If we want to change what's going on. Listen to people who would actually know what it's like to build something, become something, be something in real life. Take their advice seriously.

Because I can promise you, not a single one of those people in those thousands of comments criticizing that man driving down the road in his Lamborghini know what it's fucking like to even fucking smell the inside of a Lamborghini. You can't listen to that shit. So go out there, be the best that you can, do what you can and let the crickets chirp. And remember, the further you go, the farther you go, the less you'll care. And eventually you'll be in a place where you're going to look back and you're saying, I can't believe I even cared about that. I can't believe I let this guy's opinion annoy me. Look at this fucking guy. This guy's over here buying lottery tickets at

fucking seven o'clock in the morning with a 40 ounce. And I'm fucking worried about what he has to say about me. Fuck him. We need a lot more fuck you in the world right now. And you need a lot more of it. So go serve it up nice and cold with your fucking results.