REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 676. Q&AF: Finding Fortitude To Keep Pushing Towards Goals, Managing Friends & Developing The Youth

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to find the fortitude to keep going after a setback, what approach to take when managing your friends when you move into a leadership role, and the best way to develop the youth to set them up for success.

What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realest sake about the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. And welcome to Motherfucking Reality. As always, it's Andy. That's me. And DJ. Hello, children. That's him. And we're going to do Q&AF today.

All right? That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now, you can submit your questions. They can be about anything. They can be about business, entrepreneurship, how to get better, what's going on in the world. Whatever you want. But typically, we like to keep this show about personal development, how to get better, how to make more money, how to kick ass in life and business.

So submit your questions. We can do that one of a few different ways. The first way is? Guys, you can email those questions in to askandy at andyfusalla.com. Or you can go on YouTube in the comments section on the Q&AF episode, and you can drop your question in the comments, and we'll choose some from there as well. Now, if you're unfamiliar with the show, we have multiple shows within the show. Uh, we have Q and AF. That's what you're going to hear today, which is more personal development. And then we have CTI, which is cruise the internet. This is where

we talk about what's going on in the world. Uh, it's a little speculation. We try to connect the dots for you. We make some jokes, uh, it's society and culture. And, and, you know, we try to connect the dots for you. We make some jokes. It's society and culture. And, you know, we try to figure out what's going on. And you might ask, why do we have both of those in the same show? Because the reality is, is you have to know what's going on in the world to protect the environment for your ability to make money. Okay. You can't just go out and think I'm going to focus on myself. I'm going to make all this money. I'm going to build a business. I'm going to be successful and ignore what's going on in the world That's why we are in this position. So we have to know both. It's peanut butter and jelly All right

So CTI and Q&A F are the meat of what we do here and then we have real talk real talk is 520 minutes of Real talk things. I think you need to hear and then we have 75 hard versus 75 hard versus where people who have completed the 75 hard program come on the show. They talk about how their life was a dumpster fire and how they fixed it using the 75 hard program. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard is the initial phase of the live hard program, which is available for free at episode 208 is the world's most popular mental recalibration program. Again, it is free at episode 208 on the audio feed.

And there is a book on my website called The Book on Mental Toughness. That's at andyfrusella.com. You can get that book. It's not required, but that book will give you the entire Live Hard program, plus 10 chapters on mental toughness, why you need it, how to build it, how it affects your life, plus studies on uh some very famous people about how they develop mental toughness and what it's done for them so we have this thing called the fee the fee is very simple i don't ask for any money i just ask that you support my companies

which a lot of you do and i'm very appreciative for um and i ask very simply that you help us share the show you're going to notice i don't run ads on the show. I don't spend 30 minutes talking about shit that I don't use. I don't want to answer to any other people and what they think I should and shouldn't say. I finance the show myself. As far as I know, I'm one of the only top podcasts that actually does that. And I ask very simply for something in return, and that's this. Share the show, okay? We're constantly battling censorship, traffic bans, thr throttling and we don't get the message

out unless you share it so uh when we say pay the fee that's what we mean don't be a hoe show the show so anyway what do you got well let's deliver some heat we got some uh some great questions here guys andy question number one andy i owe you a huge thanks but i want to preface this with the admission that i have not yet completed 75 hard recently i was on my second attempt of 75 hard and it felt totally different that time i woke up every day with purpose and desire to accomplish every task i was kicking ass and was just short of halfway through at the 35 day mark when i had a spinal injury flare-up during a workout that totally froze me and forced me back to the hospital.

I had surgery on this area before, and it's been a pain to get back to normal. I still made awesome progress before that setback, but today I restart the program on day one. I've already read the 75-Hard book, among others, and enjoy listening to every podcast. My question is, how do you find the fortitude to keep pushing and driving forward, even when you have significant setbacks, either medically or in other areas? As someone that has survived a stabbing and endured some of the gastrointestinal issues you've talked about on the show, I think your input here is very valuable, and I'm confident that there are other people out there just like me.

Thanks to you and your team, and I hope in the future I'll be on the show for one of those 75 hard testimonies. Fortitude. How do we do it? What else you going to do? Quit? What else you going to do, man? Go back and be a fat fuck and sit around and do nothing be nothing contribute to nothing

Become nothing build nothing is that because that's the other alternative. I'm just not willing To accept that as my reality. That's it. It's that simple. I have no choice This is about understanding what zero options mentality means What it means is I don't have a choice and you don't have a choice either. You think you do, but you don't. And what you're going to find out is that when you're 35, 40, 50 years old, you're going to figure out that you didn't have a choice and you didn't take the right choice. Okay. And the right choice is you can either go out and build your dreams, go through all the hard shit, get knocked down a million times, get punched in the face a million times, get told your shit by everybody that you love and everybody that's

around you, get made fun of, get laughed at, get picked on, become the joke and continue to move forward and then build your dreams and let your life speak for itself. That's your one choice. Or the other choice is you can quit and you could be worse than what you were when you started trying to be better because that's what happens when you quit. You don't maintain, you get worse and worse and worse. So it's a simple question is what are you willing to accept for yourself? Are you willing to accept not only where you are now, but much worse for the rest of your life? Or are you willing to accept all the hard things that come with pursuing your highest potential and purpose on this planet.

That's really it. Okay. These last two years, two and a half years for me have been the hardest years of my life, not because of business, but because of things I had going on. I had a massive shoulder injury that took a total reconstruction of my shoulder. It took me literally two years to get through an actual workout the right way. Two years. I was in the best shape of my shoulder. It took me literally two years to get through an actual workout the right way. Two years. I was in the best shape of my life when I got hurt. During that time, I got off antidepressants. I went through a year worth of withdrawal.

I got sick twice that required me to legitimately get real medical attention. And it was January and then the next January in this past January, I got so fucking sick that I was shitting massive amounts of blood and they found two bleeding polyps and a massive ulcer in my stomach, which I'd been dealing with for four years, which had my gut linings totally irritated. So I couldn't absorb any of my nutrients. And it also had me in a fight or flight 24 hours a day dealing with massive anxiety I thought I was going crazy for the last three fucking years But you know what? What did I do during that time? I got up every day. I stayed in pretty good shape I didn't get fat even though I really couldn't lift I fucking uh

Did almost a year straight of rucking I got to 348 days You see what i'm saying? Like it you got to get up You got to get up every day and you gotta go hard at it and that's that so uh ask yourself what choice do you have because you really don't have one yeah i think that's such an interesting thing man like you know this this perception of you have all the options or you know this choose now is like i'm gonna choose my heart to choose my easy now man it can really fuck a lot of people up it fucks everybody up yeah that fucks everybody up because everybody believes that at some point in time they're going to turn it on or some point in time they're going to catch momentum or some point in time

they're going to become what it is they want to become just by circumstance or by default or by breathing the air. That's not what it takes, bro. People who think that get to the end of their life and they're like, fuck, I wasted my life. Okay. That's what they end up thinking. And there's really nothing worse than that. There's nothing worse than getting to the end of your life and saying, damn, dude, I didn't even really try. You know, and that's where you're headed if you don't go. So, you know, that's how you do it. You build it because you don't have a choice. You do not have a choice. Life is never going to be easy. It's never going to be quick. It's never going to be fast. You're always going to have obstacles. You're always going to have hardships. You're always going to be frustrated in certain

things. Barely, you're going to have one great day for every 10 days that are hard. That's reality. And you're going to have to learn how to operate when things get hard. That's it. You know, most people spend their entire lives wishing shit was easy, wishing it was fair. It's not fucking fair. Wishing it was, you know, it would line up to be perfect for them and because they're waiting for this and because it's never coming they never go and when they never go they never

become anything and that's what leads to a wasted life so you have to realize conditions are never going to be perfect things are always going to be hard the only hope that you have is to become someone who can push through that hard regardless of what the fuck is going on and if you can build that level of discipline that level of mental toughness to execute when things are not ideal when things are extremely hard nothing can stop you on your journey to becoming whatever it is you're trying to become nothing absolutely nothing yeah i love that man i love that, man. I love that.

Guys, Andy, question number two. Let's keep this moving. Good morning, Andy. I've been working for a company for four years now. I've gotten really close to all of my coworkers over the years. I've recently been promoted to a management, and I've now lost a lot of those close people due to me doing my job. What's the best way to go about this?

To go about what? I guess managing your old friends. I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah. How do you handle that? Well, first of all, is it a bad thing that they're not there? I mean, I would ask myself that first. Is it bad that they're not on the team?

Were they pulling their weight? Were they carrying the water? Were they chopping fucking wood with you? Or were they sitting around waiting to be pulled along down the path? So I'd first evaluate, is it a good thing or a bad thing that they're not there? Secondly, how you behave dictates how you manage people that you are quote unquote friends with. And it's very easy to manage people. I think people make way too much of this in, in it's like something they hear, you know, never go into

business with your friends, never do, never manage your friends, never work with your friends never do never manage your friends never work with your friends never do this it always gets up yeah sometimes it does but i don't know like my brothers i work with my brother i work with chris who's pretty much my brother um we might beat the out of each other sometimes every now and then yeah but uh you know it is what it is i think i'm pretty good friends with a lot of the guys that i work with and a lot of the guys that I manage. And I think the guys I work with is the perspective that you should take. Like you're not their fucking quote unquote boss. You're just part of the team and you're part of the team is to lead the team. And if you start managing these people like that, instead of saying, do what I say say or else it gets to be a cohesive atmosphere pretty quick and then also um when people manage their friends they tend to get on this power trip

and they try to manage those relationships the same way in a social atmosphere you know when they go out to eat or go out to a bar they still like try to posture and make you know make themselves feel like they're more important um over people that are supposed to be their friends. And, you know, you have to understand. Yeah, you might be the leader at work. You might be the team captain. You might be the manager. But like when you go out social, you should be friends and it shouldn't be, you shouldn't be posturing and you shouldn't be insecure and you shouldn't

be trying to flex your leadership muscle on your friends when you're hanging out with them. And so having that balance is, is important if you're going to like the people you work with. And I actually think that when you have that balance and you do that play properly, it creates a tighter bond on the team anyway. You know,

people know that work is work and friends is friends. And when you can identify work as work and friends as friends, it usually works pretty good. I mean, there's a lot of times where I have to get on people that I'm friends with and say, hey, what the fuck, dude? I've had to do that to you a bunch of times, right? Well, not a bunch of times. Well, I mean, you know, it's been four or five years.

I mean, a few times, right? More than once, yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, you know, it's been four or five years. I mean a few times right once Yeah, okay once but the point is is I don't I don't make it personal. No, it's not person. Yeah, it's not Let's not make it purse. Yeah, it's not personal. It's hey, you're not doing your fucking job, right? Yeah, it's hey, man You got to get better here. You got to be better here. This is where I need you to be that like dude, I Think people I think this is like internet bullshit. I think a lot of this is just people who read shit on the internet or hear shit from people like moms or dads, their teachers, people who are not qualified to give advice on this subject. You know, if somebody isn't managing a good amount of people, and I'm not talking one or two people, I'm talking like a good amount of people. And they don't have years of experience leading teams and building culture and accomplishing things with those teams, a record of winning. They really shouldn't be given advice on who to work with and who not to work with because they don't know. So there's just a lot of that going around.

You know, like, dude, remember, like all your broke friends and your relatives. And they tell you that money doesn't really matter when money matters a lot right like this is just a matter yeah this is just them voicing bullshit that they really don't know what the fuck they're talking about yeah yeah you know and something else that we talk about a lot is you know this the difference between you know there's book smarts and then there's practical application yeah and when we talk about leadership or being in some type of management position right uh if we go back to when you know you it was just you and chris right then you expanded to six stores you're actually leading some people now right what were some what were some mistakes that you that you feel like looking

back now like being aware of it that you made in that initial move in leadership all that shit i just said not to do i did all that that's how i know not to do it yeah you made in that initial move and leadership all that shit. I just said not to do I did all that. That's how I know not to do it. Yeah, you know I'm saying like I I would I was insecure I wasn't comfortable in my ability to lead. I didn't think anybody would listen to me So I went extra hard on people and then when we were you know hanging out I made it I made it known that I was the leader like dude. I was a fucking it was terrible I was terrible. so i made all the mistakes that's how i know what not to do you know so all of these things that i'm telling you not to

be like i was and uh and i learned over time you know how to do it the right way through experience and by the way i you know that becoming a great leader manager is is a lifelong project. If I don't look back 10 years from now and say, hey, dude, you were a shitty leader in 2024, I didn't make enough growth. I didn't make enough progress. You see what I'm saying? It's a lifelong project. And so on this, you know, you mentioned this, you got to be able to work as work, as play for example right especially when it comes to to your your who you're leading is there a point that somebody can get in a management position where it's all play no work or they're trying to be too much of friends like i mean what's the oh yeah well can we talk like just talk about this especially for somebody

that's just getting into a management position yeah that happens a lot like you have people that you're friends with who are outside uh you, you know, outside of the office space or the work atmosphere, your friends and inside, uh, they try to use that to, to their advantage, to take advantage and get away with less work. But that comes down to you holding the line and the standard. That's what a leader does. So when you see that, you have to stop that and you have to say, Hey, out there is one thing and here's a different thing. OK, in here we're on a team. We're trying to accomplish a mission. We got to do this and I need you to do this. This is your part of the mission.

If you don't do this, we're going to have problems. OK, but this is what needs to happen here. Out there is different story, bro. And I feel like you're using out there as an excuse to get away with shit in here. And that's disrespectful to me and it's disrespectful to the team don't you you understand that and they're gonna say yeah bro i get it my bad yeah right exactly or they're gonna fucking argue with you and if they argue with you and that they're really doing that then it's probably one of those situations where like i said in the beginning it's probably a good idea they're not on the team right yeah i think most times too man it's like people have a hard're not on the team, right? Yeah. I think most times, too, man, it's like people have a hard time understanding what the consequences of not holding that line

in those small situations, right? What implications it has, you know, on the big aspect of things. When you talk about culture, like what are the other employees seeing that may not be in that little clique, right? And so because people have a hard time seeing or foreseeing the future consequences of these small decisions today, they tend to let that shit slide. That's right. But they don't think of, like you said, the other employees seeing it and saying, well, fuck, if he doesn't have to do that, I don't have to do that.

And then in a year, you got a big culture problem because there's no standards at all and everybody's just doing whatever they want so it's very important that when you see corrections that you make the corrections on the spot um consistently and hold that line consistently across the team not just for your friends but the people that may not be your friends too the line has to be the same for everybody and and it has to be real and everybody has to know where it is and if you don't that, you're going to have chaos in the workplace. And at the very least, you're going to be unproductive. And in worst case scenario, you're going to have a totally ineffective team. You know what I'm saying? Like a mutiny.

Yeah, right. So it's, yeah, it's very, very, very important to identify when corrections get made, hold them accountable. And then basically, you know, when you have someone who's supposed to be your friend, you know, shouldn't they build you up? Shouldn't they be doing an extra good job? Shouldn't they be setting an example for you as the leader? Because then they understand that it makes your job easier for, to lead everybody else. See if. See, if somebody was really your fucking friend, that's how they would behave. They would do extra. They would be the best.

They would hold the highest standard. And then they would say, hey, man, I'm trying to help you out by setting this. They would understand you and them as friends are working as a team to accomplish this mission. And their role is to actually be better than everybody else not not take advantage of it if they take advantage of it bro they're just simply not your friend those people will bail on you the minutes shit gets hard in your life it's real shit man well good luck to you uh in your new management position hope all goes well for you uh guys andy our third and final question uh i saw i saw this i had to ask it because of who's like, and it's not the same person.

We're going to start with that. Okay. Hey, Andy, my name is Micah. And the subject was actually your favorite light skin. I thought this was Micah at first, but it's not. But okay. Question number three. Hey, Andy, my name is Micah.

I'm 29 years old and I've been a youth basketball coach and trainer for almost four years. I swear I thought this was the same person. I swear. I don't think Mike is that good at basketball, though. I don't think he's that good. No, he's not. Is he not? No, he's not. Yeah, so definitely not the same person. But I played college basketball until I was 22 and received an opportunity to be an entrepreneur for my current company. I currently have three jobs, provide for my family. All three jobs are under the same umbrella. Thank God. The shit is hard.

But being able to give my sons a better life, a life that I had never had, is a goal. And I'm determined to bring that to pass. I am in a tough industry, but I feel like it is watered down with a lot of coaches or trainers not being the example for the youth and leading by example. AAU is so wild and dysfunctional at times, and we lack really good development of our youth on and off the floor, which I feel is a requirement to be a coach for youth. If you are not looking to impact those young boys and girls, then what the hell are you doing it for? My question for you is how would you go about being the best motherfucker youth development coach in the nation?

Because that's what I want to be known for. I currently train eight year olds to 22 year olds, and I want to help be a solution to our decaying society and help develop amazing men and women. Thank you for paving the way. Hashtag real ass fan. Hashtag your favorite light skin. I mean, look, dude, what you're trying to do is the exact same thing I'm trying to do with society.

OK, it's a cultural change. Cultural change dictates the outcome of the individual as they live through the program or life or whatever. Okay. So you have to decide very simply, what are the values you're trying to instill? What is the mission that you're trying to accomplish? You have to make those values known. You have to make that mission known consistently. Those values should be plastered everywhere. They should be every freaking person in your camp. Every player should understand what they mean, should understand that you're serious about operating with those values. And they should understand that if they don't operate with those values, they're not going to be in the program. And if you build the program around an intentional culture

like that, and what that means for you is that means they're going to have to understand what it is. And this could be a 10 hour talk, by the way. Okay. This isn't this, I'm giving this to you in a few minutes. So I'm summarizing everything, but what it means for you is that you're going to have to make these values known. You're going to have to teach these values. You're going to have to coach on these values. You're going to have to hold the standard around these values. And most importantly, you're going to have to communicate corrections with these values, which means when these kids do not live or do not do something on

the court and they don't live by the value, you're going to have to stop them and say something like this. Hey, I know you messed up there, but I'm not really upset about the mess up. I'm upset about how you reacted to the mess up. What core value does that violate? And they're going to say, well, that violates being a positive teammate or whatever it is you decide to put in. Right. And you're going to say, yeah, now give me fucking five laps. Okay. And, and then you're going to bring them back in and say, all right, look, dude, I don't want to see that shit no more. And that's what I mean by communicating corrections. Okay. In the terms of cultural values. And so if you could do all those things,

especially communicate your corrections in the terms of what the values are, eventually the culture will come alive in your program and the other kids will live and breathe the culture so much that any new kids that come in will automatically adapt to it and you'll accomplish what it is you're trying to accomplish. But none of this happens overnight. None of this happens in a week. This takes a long time to instill. It takes a lot of consistency from the leader who is installing the culture intentionally. And it takes consistency on all of those things, making it known, communicating, holding the line, all in terms of what the value system actually is. So my question back to you would be,

what are the values you're trying to instill in these kids? And I would pick eight to 10 of those values. I would write a paragraph definition for each. I would make all the kids know them. And that would be my fundamental requirement to even be in the program. You have to know what these values are. And then when they come in, we start to coach. You coach on the actual techniques, but you also coach on the character through the value system. And then you do that over the course of time, and eventually you end up with what you're trying to do. Yeah, dude, I think coaches are super, like, super important,

especially, I mean, you're coaching young, moldable minds, you know? And so, like, I mean, we talk about this stuff on CTI. We know what happens the other way, right? But being in that position, is super important andy like i mean i remember my favorite coaches right and it's funny because like during that time i always hated them yeah but now looking back i love them i don't know if that's like the right approach i don't know if they were being too hard but like you get older you realize no that's exactly what i needed right yeah can you uh who who was your who's your most memorable coach you've had you played all the fucking sports growing up yeah

you have the most memorable or one that still like makes you you know tremble a little bit when you say your name no not really i i had a lot of pretty i had i had some bad coaches but i had some good coaches too uh my best coach was my dad okay yeah no doubt i mean my dad my dad was very involved in our athletics um he didn't coach the team so to speak when we were in little league he didn't shit but uh you know after practice after the games he'd always break it down with us in a real way tell us the truth tell us where we were good where we were bad uh and we didn't always like it but he always held a standard you know he'd tell us if we weren't hustling he'd tell us the truth, tell us where we were good, where we were bad. And we didn't always like it, but he always held a standard. You know, he'd tell us if we weren't hustling, he'd tell us if we were being lazy. He'd tell us if we were being weak, if we weren't being aggressive,

or he would tell us the good things. Hey, you did this right. You did that right. You did this right. And he would just give the breakdown and that was what we needed. And he would hold that standard. You know, if we didn't play well, you know, we knew we didn't play well. And like, you know, nowadays, you know, parents all cry about that. Oh, you're being too hard on the kid. Well, I don't know. I turned out pretty decent. You know, like, you know, I'm just saying if you want your kids to turn out, you know, you got to hold a standard.

So outside of that, though, because I know that wasn't the answer you're looking for. I had a coach named Mike Loyette at Vianney. And he went on to be the president of Vianney. And I think he's retired now. But in terms of character building, he was the best coach I had. I don't know that he was the best coach technique-wise or anything like that. On the field, yeah. But in character building, he always led with character building and i was kind of a shithead back in high school i was stubborn i wanted to do things my way which is probably why i'm an entrepreneur

um and that's just real shit i know i was a handful um but he always treated me fair he always held the line he let me know when i was out of line character wise um you know a couple times i messed up really bad where i could have probably gotten kicked out of school and in those times he believed in me and cut me a break uh and i'm very very grateful for for having him as a coach um because a lot of the things i learned from him uh even though i didn't like them at the time i have have, you know, started to use in my life today. So I'm very grateful for that man. And, you know, I'm sure he probably doesn't appreciate how much I curse, you know, but I think he did a really good job.

Yeah. And I'm proud to and grateful to have known him. Yeah. That's awesome, man. All right, a little special sauce. Andy, question number four. Yeah, we're going to do a little extra. A little special sauce.

A little extra smoke. Yeah. All right, guys, Andy, question number four. Hey, Andy, I am 21 years old. I was wondering what your take is on relationships and dating. I've heard a scary statistic that 50% of men are not even looking for anything casual with a woman from ages 18 to 30, which is really quite scary. I, myself, and a lot of my friends, all of whom are very popular, tall, not weird by any means. We're all struggling with dating. I know this is not

directly related to business, but I find it important to have a good relationship with the opposite sex for many reasons, purpose, connection, motivation, et cetera. I recently went on a few dates with a girl who she considered herself to be a boss bitch she is 22 and in sales and is doing really well while right now i am grinding on growing my income in several ways after a couple of dates i was told she did not think we were compatible enough i told her my situation and my vision and where i wanted to be however i feel it was not taken seriously and I was ghosted. I take it as I don't make enough money to be taken seriously from her. Should I not pursue relationships right now and focus on myself and my income? I was wondering what your tips are for attracting and retaining attractive women in a relationship these days.

Is it even worth it in your view? Look, dude, I'm not some sort of relationship expert so i don't come on here and pretend like i know shit that i don't really know all right relationships are fucking weird people are weird bitches be crazy all that shit all right here's the reality dudes be crazy too okay but here's the truth all right you need as little distraction as possible when you're building your life. OK. Women, when they're young and attractive, get attention from older men and older men tend to have more things going on than you have because you're younger. And if you take the time and you take the opportunity to improve your life, improve your skill set and build a life, what will happen is your selection of potential mates will become better, okay? You will start to increase your ability to attract

someone who would fit with the life that you're building. You're not going to be able to do that at 21 years old because, real talk, you don't have the ability to have a life. You're not secure. You're not financially secure. Any relationship you have right now is likely purely for sex. Okay? Let's be real. You're sitting here talking about purpose, connection. You ain't fooling nobody, motherfucker.

I'm fucking trying to bust a nut. Yeah, right. You're trying to fucking get it wet, dude. You're right. All right? And I'm not saying you can't date. Yeah, that's cool. I'm not saying you can't, but just know that if you spend your time in bad relationships

that take your energy and pull you away from what you're trying to accomplish, you're just delaying the eventual result you're trying to get to, which is by the time you're 30, you're in a great spot, or the time you're 35, you're in a great spot. And then you can have your choice of the available dating pool. Okay? That's the way it works. Women tend to have beauty and youth and men tend to have money and resources. And that's what women look for.

Not all the time, but it's kind of like something that they want to feel secure. Yes. They want the financial security for sure and men, you know tend to look for an attractive woman who? suits and supports them and pushes them to be better and You know, that's hard to find when you're 21 years old and you don't have the the basic requirements that women are Interested in and so what's gonna happen is this is just reality is you're probably gonna date a whole bunch of girls through your 20s They're gonna treat you like shit. You going to continue to work you're going to continue to build you're going to become successful and then they're going to start treating you different

okay because now you're an anomaly now you're standing out amongst the men and you're you're attractive to them at that point and you're going to say well they you know people say well they only like you because of your no shit bro that's why i did all the fucking work you know i'm saying like i don't know what to tell you you know and um you know there's obviously more than that you want you know compatible connection support of each other you know uh having the same nature you know understanding that each other's lifestyles what they need what they want because dude this is a partnership it's not it's not about it's not all about like the the lovey-dovey feelings that everybody thinks it's about you know the first six months that you're dating someone both people are fucking lying full of shit yeah they're

both trying to be the best version of themselves so that they can trick the other person into falling in love with them or being with them or some shit guys and girls do this and then what happens is after six months the truth starts coming out and you start telling yourself well i don't want to break up with them because i've been with them for six months and then you end up sticking with it and you end up wasting two three years of your life because you you fucking liked having sex with this person in the beginning and you thought they were cool you You see what I'm saying? So like, do we have to look beyond sexual compatibility? We have to look beyond looks.

We have to look beyond, you know, what's cool now and think about it in the picture of our life. And I'm not saying you can't meet someone when you're young. I'm not saying you can't fall in love with your young, but what I am saying is for men, the quality of the woman you meet is likely, not in all cases, likely to be much higher once you have established yourself in your career and in your life. And the more time you spend fucking around with girls, the longer that takes to accomplish.

So I'm not saying you shouldn't date. I dated all through my 20s. I had a good time. I had fun. You know, but looking back, I don't regret any of it. Okay. I'm just going to say that. But looking back, I did waste a lot of time that I probably could have gotten ahead faster had I not done that.

Okay. So that's my take on it. And I know not everybody's going to agree, but like it's America, bro. You're free to disagree. So this is a difficult situation for men because men are told their whole lives, usually by their mom. You know, to have manners, buy flowers, open the door, and then like you go do this for girls. You know, when you're 20, 22 years old, you get fucking walked all over and made fun of and talk shit about and laughed at. My advice for this dude is you should take this and you should put it in that chip on your shoulder. And you say, bro, I'm going to become so successful that there's no where that this fucking chick can look and not see my motherfucking face.

All right. And that's the ultimate payback. The ultimate payback is becoming so motherfucking successful that they can't even look on the goddamn internet without seeing your motherfucking face and saying, damn, I fucked up. I missed that one. That's right. Yeah, that's for sure. Anything on this 22-year-old boss bitch? I mean, what's the—I don't know if that's like a new culture thing.

I don't know what that is. I know boss bitches definitely exist. Do they exist at 22? There's no boss anybody at 22. You don't know shit. You haven't done shit, you know fucking No, yeah probably actually outside of them outside of the anomaly of The Zuckerberg or the Kardashian or the pro athlete at 22?

Usually your athlete at 22 usually you're shit at 22 you're just getting started and it's very difficult time for men because women are able to go date up they're able to date older men who are 27 30 35 when they're 25 and that's pretty socially acceptable I don't I think it's weird but it's pretty socially acceptable and those dudes have means. Like I had a girl one time, tell me right to my fucking face, legitimately, uh, you're never going to do what you say you're going to do. And she left me to go date a guy who was fucking 20 years older than me, 20 years older than me, who drove a fucking BMW three series. And she thought he had fucking money okay

so that's i had a girl leave me over that's fucked up yeah but you know what i got fucking pissed off about it and i'm like you know what fuck that and i went out and built shit and now i feel good about myself and i look back at that and i'm like yeah that wasn't a big deal fuck it i don't give a shit you know what i'm saying it doesn't bother me it's like it is what it is and i'm like yeah that wasn't a big deal fuck it i don't give a shit you know what i'm saying it doesn't bother me it's like it is what it is and i'm actually grateful for it because it lit a fire under my ass and say hey this is what the fuck you got to do man you're gonna get your shit together and i did and and you know that's that's how you do it bro here's the bottom line you're never going to attract your best potential partner unless you are in your best situation that goes for men and women so you if when you're sitting there and you're saying why can't I find

anybody who's like this this this this this this this go look in the fucking mirror you any of those things are you any of those things because if you're not any of those things you're not gonna get that in return people tend to match each other okay so what do you have to offer you know i see all these fucking disgusting fucking gross women online talking about i want a man that makes 500 000 bitch you look like a fucking troll okay you're five foot and five foot wide talking this shit. Okay. Like this is real talk, man.

Like I'm just keeping it real. Like, and then you got dudes out here who don't have shit that think they're entitled to every chick. It goes both ways. The real, the real shit is the reason you don't have it is because you ate that. So if you want your best life and you want your best partner,

you have to become the best that you can be first. And then those kind of people will find you that's how it works dude i love it man i love it well guys andy that was four yeah don't be a whore sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze fuck a bowl fuck a stove counted millions in the cold bad bitch booted swole Got her on bankroll Can't fold, just a note Headshot, case closed