REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 698. Q&AF: Success Definitions, Kids Dominating Sports & Differences Between Cocky And Confident

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how he defines success, what to do when your kids are dominating in sports and how to tell the difference between being cocky and confident.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, saying goodbye to the lies, to fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and AF, that's where you submit the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. Welcome to Motherfucking Reality. Guys, today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now, you can submit your questions a few different ways to be answered on the show. The first way is... Guys, you can email those questions to askandy at andyforsella.com.

That's DJ. Hey, guys. Hey, hello, children. There you go. Gotta do it right. All right? That's DJ. Hey, guys. Hello, children. There you go. Got to do it right. All right? That's it.

You can also ask some questions in the comments section on the shows, and we'll pick some from there as well. Now, I'm not going to do the whole intro because I usually do that on Mondays. So if you want to know what we do here, go on Monday's show. I am going to say, though, that we would appreciate you to pay the fee. The fee is very simple. It means share the show. We don't run ads on the show. I'm not going to talk for 30 minutes about shit that I don't use.

I don't want to answer to any of these other companies about what I say. Uh, you know, we keep it real here. So, um, I just don't want to deal with that so in exchange for that I ask very simply that you help us spread the word okay we're constantly battling censorship and shadow bands and all the good stuff they do these days and for us to get the word out it's going to take your help so what I ask very simply is that if the show makes you laugh, it makes you think, if it gives you a new perspective, it helps you. Bring me one person, man. Bring me one person.

Pay the fee. Okay? Make a post. Tell somebody. Have a conversation. Help us grow the show and get it out there. If everybody just brought one person, we would double the size of the show. And we would do that rapidly. So help us get the message out. Don't be a hoe size of the show and uh we would do that rapidly so help us

get the message out don't be a hoe show the show all right hey what's up man how's it going good yeah yeah what's up with you all right we had a good leg day yeah yeah i see you're you've decided to start training again yeah my legs were shaking like prom night yeah well that's what happens when you stop working out for fucking four months. It wasn't four months. It was like two, two and a half. It was like two and a half, three months. I'm being nice about four.

I think it was like six. Well, it wasn't no fucking six months. The fuck it wasn't. It was like three. It was November. No. That's six, seven months ago. It was a long fucking time ago bro that's what happens when you stop training

you fucking get get weeks yeah yeah yeah it was a good workout though so what are you what are you working on what are you trying to do hey man listen ribs and dick can i say that on q and a's yeah you can say whatever you want ribs and dick man that's the goal you know i mean we had talked about this yesterday i'm gonna get down i think the goal should be like 240 and then just come back up a little bit to like 260. I think that's a great goal for you. Yeah. It's doable, man. No, it's not doable.

It's what you should do. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're getting to it, man. Leg day. Yeah, that was a good leg day. My legs are pretty sore. And then that fucking incline.

I did the incline fucking treadmill, man. Yeah, I that took me out yeah yeah what did you get three four minutes on there five yeah no i mean that like it was just a cool down but it fucking sucks you really only did five minutes yeah no bro you do 20 minutes after your workout 20 at least 20 for a cool down bro i'm fucking ripped bro and i get that i get that but but 20 for a cool down bro i'm fucking ripped bro and i get that i get that but but 20 for a cool down all right yes all right for you it's 40. does that sound appropriate shut the fuck up madat no no shut the fuck up it should be 60 minutes yeah maybe 70 even yeah all Yeah, I got 60 for you. I'm not sure what that means, but it means fucking something dangerous.

Yeah. Terrified. It sounds like some jail shit. Like you're going to touch his wiener or something. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. All right. Well, let's make some people better today.

All right. Let's do it. That's what we're all about here. Yeah. And let's get into it, guys. Andy, question number one. Andy, very, very simple question here. What is the right way and the wrong way to look at success?

Good and bad definitions, your outlooks, and why do so many people not succeed? What are people missing when you think about success, overall success, just life success look there's there's two schools of thought right um first of all i'll say this success for everybody looks differently okay some people they they don't care as much about money and and you know and i think that's a mistake because it severely handicaps them on their enjoyment of life. But some people pretend, I'll say this, pretend like they don't care about money until they fucking need it, right? And then they're calling people like me. And they care a lot. Yeah, they care a whole lot. And they say things like, oh, I don't give a shit about money. I just want to live my life.

I just want to enjoy my life. I just want to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're full of shit. And I'll tell you why, because you'd enjoy your life a lot more if you had some money. All right. So we have this like two schools of thought, right? We have the school of thought that I'm going to float through life. I'm going to, I'm going to, you know, my, I'm going to define my own success. And usually not always, usually that is some sort of excuse as to why they aren't doing anything. It's a justification for them to get out of the hard things that would have been required to build what their original dream was. And so what most people do is they have a dream when they're young. And as they get older and older and older, they get through high school, college, and then just older in life.

Their dream gets beaten out of them by everybody around them, right? Everybody's telling them that they're not realistic. Everybody's telling them that they're immoral for wanting more. Everybody's telling them it's a waste of time because they're going to fail. And so what ends up happening is they give up on what their original dream was, and then they replace it with some sort of shit that resembles what they currently have, and then they start talking about how that's what they actually want. And so it's a justification for the lack of results,

for the lack of actions that they're not willing to take. And that's what most people do, okay? That's just honest. That's a hard pill to swallow. It's real talk, dude. Most people are just fucking weak and they fucking quit. And then they pretend their whole life. They're more virtuous than everybody else because they have some quote unquote,

humble definition of success. All right. So that's one person. That's, that's the majority of people. Then there's this group of people who looks at it and says, you know, I really do want a simple life. I really do want a simple life. I want to, I want to work. I want to make enough money to be okay. And then, you know, after that, I kind of want to enjoy my life and it's genuine. Okay. And, and that's what success looks like for them. And that's okay. And there's a big

difference between the first group and the second group. Because the first group, they're lying. The second group, it's true. Okay? And then there's like a third group. And the third group are people who are highly ambitious. They have big goals. They want to level up.

They want to become more. They want to create more. They want to build things. And those people are highly ambitious. And they're usually keeping score by about not only the money they make, but the money they make is a big part of the scorecard, what they create, the benefits they create. And that's kind of the third category. So to say what defines success for the individual is hard to define because everybody's different but being authentic with your true desires and then chasing them with all of your potential and all of your skill set and

all of your effort is what's most important and so what i actually define success is the pursuit of the fulfillment of your ultimate potential and the reason that i say it's the pursuit of the fulfillment of your ultimate potential. And the reason that I say it's the pursuit of the fulfillment of your ultimate potential is because you can't ever actually reach your full potential. Because where you are today, as you go down the path and learn new skills, the potential is going to expand, which means eventually you're going to run out of time right you're going to gain new skills your potential expands you fulfill more of your potential because you have the new skills but and then you acquire more skills on top of that the potential expands again so there is no actual fulfillment of your true potential so it's a pursuit, which lends to the saying,

you know, success is a journey, not a destination. And so that's what that actually means. So when I look at success and how I judge success is, am I utilizing all my potential? Am I pouring that into the mission that I'm on? Am I trying to be the best that I can be at the thing that I want to be? And if I am, and I'm giving that my all every single day in a real way, not in a bullshit way, I consider that to be a successful individual. So, you know, it's not just about money. It's not just about material shit. Uh, and for some people, it's not about any of that shit and they can still be successful. But the truth of the matter is if we're being real, most people fall into that first category, which is why most people can't get anywhere and why most

people are so unhappy. Okay. They tell you that's what they want, but why, if that's what they want, why are they so miserable? Why, why are they so frustrated? Why are they so depressed? Why are they so angry? Why are they so bitter? Why do they hate other people's success so much? The reason that they hate other people's success so much is because that was their original dream that they got beat out of them that caused them to accept the reality and now lie to everybody, including themselves, that this is what I actually wanted the whole time. It's a way to save face. So if you were the second group of person and that was your genuine definition of success,

why would you be judgmental or hate on anybody else's success? You see what I'm saying? Right, right. It wouldn't exist. No. The first person is lying to themselves and the second two are actually creating their reality. But ultimately, guys, this comes down to deciding what life you want and then giving everything that you have to it, going down the path.

And as you go down the path, you make mistakes. And as you make mistakes, if you don't have a 30 IQ, you're able to learn lessons. Those lessons are tools, and they're skills, and they help you move forward. And as you move forward with those new skills, your potential gets bigger. And that means you have longer to go, but you're still in a much better spot as you go down the path. So, you know, you're never going to actually get there because eventually you're going to fucking die, right? Like, dude, you have a guy who's 75 years old and lived 75 years of life and has 75 years worth of skills i mean he's going what's he going to live 10 more years 20 more years max he's going to eventually run out of time right

but he's the most equipped for success because he knows the most so this is why it's also important to you know not just ignore old people like they're crazy dude they know way more than you yeah just don't let them run the country. Yeah, that's exactly right. Let me ask you this because I feel like there's also, there's a connection there. You know, you talk about this, you know, we don't really know when our time is going to expire. Yep. Would you say that that is your fear that also creates the urgency of that pursuit of your full potential?

Yeah, I think, well, and there's actually uh i read a study about this there's actually a commonality among very highly successful people and almost all of them had a near-death experience at one point in their life which caused them to understand that they are mortal and that they are not they are going to run out of time and so when you have when you have something happen to you, like when I got stabbed or when I thought I had a brain tumor for two weeks that was misdiagnosed and I thought I was going to fucking die, you begin to understand things differently and see things differently. And it's not enough to see your friend die or your mom die or dad die to light

that fire. It's gotta be you. And when you have that experience where you legit almost die, you realize that shit can be over like that, which creates a massive sense of urgency. I was very fortunate to have that stabbing incident happen to me when I was 23 years old. And it changed my life because I realized, holy shit, dude, like I could run out of time tomorrow. I didn't do shit. So now I, now I run as fast as I can every single day. So that at least, you know, hopefully something matters down the road and maybe it won't, but it, but I think it will while I'm here and I'm going to feel like it does when I die. So that's, and that one matters. You know what I'm saying? So I think that sense of urgency

is common amongst people who have had an experience that has reminded them of their own mortality and that's why they run so hard and i think that's a very real thing and i don't think that people who haven't had that i don't i'm not i i don't think they run as hard i just don't think they do yeah well i think i think the evidence shows because if they did they'd probably be the world would look a little bit different yeah you know yeah i think most people they they think they have all the time in the world. They think they're never going to die. And then one day they wake up and they're 65, 70 years old.

They're like, fuck, dude, I didn't do anything. And then they got to live the rest of their life being bitter about what they didn't do. Like, I can't really imagine anything worse than that, dude. Yeah. Yeah, that's real shit, man. I love it. Guys, Andy, question number two. Andy, my son is five years old and plays in Rec Soccer League.

We teach our sons to play hard and be dedicated when you sign up for a sport. Currently, my five-year-old is dominating the soccer field after the first three games. I asked the league if we could move him up in the age bracket, but they said they can't at this point. Today, in the second half, my son already had 15 goals, and they were winning 15-0. The coach made my son start back by the goal

and then let them cross midfield before he was allowed to play any defense. We tell our son to pass and find teammates, but minimal kids understand the game like he does. Now, in the second half, a trainer of a player on the other team came over to myself, my wife, my seven-year-old, along with my son's grandparents and stopped the game to bitch at us. He said our son has had enough goals and not to let him score again. When I told him, we already tell him to pass and said he must be a better parent. And then he said he must be a better parent because his kids listen to him.

Tells me my son shouldn't be allowed to play in this league and needs to be on the travel team. Then says his son would score 30 goals a game. I told my son to get another 15. The guy then challenges me to a one-on-one game. I'd rather put the gloves than throw down.

But I keep my composure, which prior to 75 hard, I might not have had the discipline. In this scenario, do we step on the gas here? Yes. Like, what do we do? Teach them a fucking lesson. Yeah. 100%.

Yeah. Kill those motherfuckers. Score 75 fucking goals a game and then run around, take your shirt off and be an asshole. Now, I wouldn't say that to anybody else. I'm being serious. Now, under normal circumstances, I wouldn't do that. But this is just what I think. When someone acts like a fucking cocksucker, you fucking jam it down their throat.

Okay? So that guy's being an asshole. That guy's talking shit. That guy's pissed off. And the other parents are pissed off because they don't go out and spend time with their kids they stick them on a video game they fucking stick them on an ipad and then they expect them to go out and be competitive against kids where their parents play with them all right you i'm guarantee you you're out practicing with your

kid i guarantee you you're you're teaching him the real shit otherwise he's not scoring 15 goals in the game that's fucking awesome yeah didn't this happen to sal this happened this happened to me and sal as kids all the time because we were fucking dominant on it on in athletes too so like we when we were kids kids bro we'd score seven eight goals parents get fucking pissed off you know i'm fucking for sellers oh yeah they would go fucking try and start a fight with my dad. But you know what they didn't see was that my dad was out in the yard with us every fucking day

playing baseball, playing soccer, playing, we played roller hockey, but that translated into ice hockey, right? Like we were practicing all the time. He was taking us on runs, bro. Six mile runs when we were fucking six to seven years old. I still in my whole life ain't run six miles again you know what i'm saying like that's the shit my dad did with us

so of course we're better than everybody else and if you got kids that suck at sports maybe you should fucking practice with them instead of complaining to the other parents about how it's not fair that's right it's not fair and that motherfucker should go out and score 35 goals a game and teach all the other kids that they better get their fucking asses to work. Excuse my profanity on this, but I don't give a shit. Hey, it's real shit. Bro, that pisses me off. Yeah.

Well, because there's real consequences. There's no virtue to holding back. Like, bro, there's no virtue to taking it easy on someone. You're actually hurting them by taking it easy. You are hurting those other kids by telling your son to take it easy because they need to witness what the result is when you put the time and effort into practicing to be great. Those other kids that are getting run all over,

the parents should be having conversations with them and be like, yeah, little Stevie scored 15 goals. You know why? Because he practices. While you're on the fucking computer, dude, if you want to score 15 goals, then you got to practice too. And then go practice with them. A lot of you parents shouldn't even have fucking kids in sports

because you don't spend any time with them whatsoever. You fucking don't even care about your own motherfucking kids real talk we see it all the time bro i had this situation fucking we went to sal's game and this fucking fat motherfucker pulled off his shirt at the game and started threatening sal and i'm like bro i'm like this dude i'm like, Sal will fucking murder you, dude. Like, you're a fat, drunk, middle-aged Hoosier man. Like, get the fuck out of here and go practice with your fucking kid. Maybe if you ran around the soccer field with your kid, you wouldn't be such a fat fuck.

Just being real, dude. I hate that shit. Yeah. Like, when we see these kids get fucking, these coaches get fired because they score you know they win the basketball game 100 points to fucking four like bro practice hold a standard like the real world doesn't care the real world does not care what's fair it doesn't care what's easy all it cares about is what the result is And it doesn't matter how much people cry about it or how much they complain about it or what they think is right or wrong morally. At the end

of the day, the real world will and always has for the last 10,000 fucking years valued results. Okay. That's what the fuck it's done. Whatever the results are is what you get compensated on. And if you don't teach your kids that bro, you're doing them a disservice. You buy into all this politically correct nonsense about kids getting celebrated for showing up and everything needs to be fair, bro. You're handicapping your kid for life, bro. They're going to lose. lose so yeah score 15 more goals run around rubbing in their faces and be good and happy about how much work you did bro i'm all about that a hundred percent you think i hold back against my competition

you think i hold i sit here and think dude you know what we're so far ahead of everybody else i might as well slow down so they can catch up yeah you know that's not the way it works you gotta score no more that is not the way it works bro you have to keep putting points on the board day in and day out day in and day out day in and day out and yeah there is scenarios where you know we get to a point where you know you pull your starters from the team and shit right but now But now when they come bitching at you like that, I can tell you that. Put the motherfuckers right back in there. That's right. Yeah, right back in there.

That's right. Bro, at the end of the day, I'd shove it down their throats so fucking hard they'd fucking choke. Yeah. Well, but there is a difference here, right? Because I feel like a lot of people will scream and complain, well, that's bad sportsmanship. It's not bad sportsmanship. That's different. No.

Bad sportsmanship is crying and pouting about the other team kicking your ass. That's bad sportsmanship. Yes. Yeah. The goal of the game is to put points on the board. That is the goal. So don't go no higher. Your goal is to stop them.

Now, just because you're inept at stopping them does not mean that the goal of the game changes. That's real shit. I know. That's real shit, man. And, bro, if you weak-ass motherfucking parents out there would start teaching your kids the real shit about competition, maybe we wouldn't have a land of the United States of pussies. You know what I'm saying? Bro, that's not fair.

No shit, bro. Welcome to reality. It's not fucking fair. I love it. I fucking love it. I can't stand that shit. It's fucked up. Now, what I would add, though, is just make sure after your son does score those 30 fucking goals,

that when they do the handshake line, he goes up and shakes everybody's hand and keep it moving yeah keeps it fucking moving that's after the celebration yeah yeah yeah and then and then you teach him to tell the other kids all of the shit he does so they can get better yeah you know what i'm saying you know when they fall down because he broke their ankles because he's got some good jukes he can pick them up after he scores the goal you know i'm saying'm saying? Put a little dirt on that shit. You think you're all right there? Yeah. Bro, we got to teach our kids to win, bro. We got to get back to it. We got to teach our kids to dominate. 100 to fucking zero, bro, should be the score.

You should be offended that they even showed up to play. That's how good you should be. That's what I think. Yeah. Yeah, fuck. I'm offended when somebody thinks they're going to compete with me, bro. Like, I'm offended you even think that Take it personally

I do It is what it is I fucking love it Like I can celebrate my friends wins I can learn from my friends wins I can respect them But if you're going to step to my line bro You're going to learn a fucking lesson

That's the truth I'm offended that they even showed up That's my mentality I love it, man. I love it. That's every fucking winner's mentality, by the way. Go read Tim Grover's books. It's not just you.

Yeah, yeah. I see what you're doing. Yeah, yeah. It ain't unique. Yeah. I fucking love it. I fucking think you're going to compete. You better go home.

You're still fucking snow-coating on the way home. Right, right. It'd be a lot easier than fucking competing against me. That's what you should be teaching your kid, bro. Yep. I'd teach him a little Conor McGregor swag after he scores his goals. Just to piss off the parents. Bro, get him a little custom fuck you jersey.

I'd give him a jersey and say, what the fuck you gonna do? And my dad will beat your ass. Bro, my dad, back in the day dude we played soccer if we scored a goal or we hurt another kid he bought us a fucking toy bro that's crazy that's great i know he go to jail now dude i swear he did that that's not bullshit that's we would go and he would buy us like a GI Joe for like five bucks, right? So like if we, I mean, he taught us how to win. Yeah. Well, because winning is incentivized.

You get something when you win. Yeah. He didn't say go out and like beat the other kids up, but he just said like, if you run over a kid, like his big thing was just run them over. Yeah. Run them over. Yeah. Like when they get in your way, just keep running.

That's great. Which we did. Sal and I were like little fat kids. We ran them the fuck over, bro. So many parents tried to fight my dad. Yeah. That's fucking awesome, man. I love it.

It is what it is, bro. You know, I think we turned out the way we're supposed to turn out. You know what I'm saying? Not even too bad. Why don't you teach your kids the rules of reality, not the rules of idealism? Yeah. Competition is real. You have to be good. You have to have skills.

You have to put in practice. And if someone beats you, it means you're not good enough. If you sell a product and no one buys it, it means your product sucks. Teach them the real shit of competition. Anything less than that will handicap them for their entire lives. You teach them to be nice.

You teach them to feel sorry for putting points on the board. Bro, they're going to get their asses beat in life. It's going to be nice. You teach them to feel sorry for putting points on the board. Bro, they're going to get their asses beaten in life. It's going to be your fault. They should be happy about scoring goals. That kid, I buy him 15 GI Joes, bro, or whatever the fuck they're into now. Yeah, I fucking love it, man. Yeah.

I love it. Well, guys, Andy, our third and final question, question number three. This is a good one. Andy, so I've been listening to you for almost a year i did 75 hard two times in the last eight months i am so fucking happy and proud of myself and i have regained confidence in myself and gained even more than i thought i had that's all fucking great here's the issue with my newfound confidence. I feel I can walk through a brick wall, bro. And I've had a few close people, people I trust and value.

Tell me that I've become, quote unquote, too cocky. How do I know if I'm actually being, quote unquote, cocky or is this just my new found confidence? What's the difference here? I mean, anybody appears cocky that puts up results and then is happy about it. People aren't used to that because most people don't produce any results. So they're used to saying, well, I don't produce any results because I'm humble. So when you actually produce results, no matter what you say about it, no matter how nice you are, no matter how kind you are, no matter how quiet you are about it, they're going to say you're fucking cocky, dude. There's nothing wrong with being cocky either as long as you back it up.

There's nothing wrong with that. Like, there's nothing wrong with that. It adds some spice to your life. It's good to have some swagger. It's fun. It's fun to walk around like you've got a 30-foot dick. Like, that's fun shit. Make sure you have it.

Yeah, that's right. But that is only because you're producing results and so it's okay to feel cocky as long as you can still be humble in the process and people like well you can't do that bullshit it's confidence in game time and humble and preparation okay when i walk out on the field dude i know what i've put in i know the work i've done i'm gonna walk out there with some swagger. I'm going to put some points on the board. You ain't going to fucking touch me. Okay. And if you do, I'm going to run you the fuck over. All right. Humble is studying the film, preparing, learning about your opponent, practicing the skills, doing the drills and doing all that shit with the proper intent, intent. So, like, you can be cocky in execution and humble in preparation, but most people's minds are too simple to understand that.

So all they see is, you know, Conor McGregor walking out with his swag, right? They're like, I fucking hate that guy because he's cocky. Well, the reason he's cocky is because he works his ass off behind closed doors and he knows what he's bringing to the table. And there's nothing wrong with that. That just rubs people who don't do shit the wrong way. But remember, that's who they watch. Those are the people they enjoy watching. Who do people love to watch?

Oh, they love to watch people they don't like because they're cocky because that's something they've never had. They wish they had that. They wish they could walk in a room with a strut, with a three-piece suit, looking like a fucking pimp, knowing that you're going to walk out in the fucking ring and beat some dude's ass and you're going to walk back to your yacht. They wish they could have that, but they lack the courage. They lack the work ethic. They lack the understanding of what it means to be that kind of a person. So you can't expect a mediocre mind to understand a mind that is wired for greatness. It will never

happen. So how do you know if you're cocky? You're cocky if you don't think you have anything to learn. You're cocky if you think you're great and you're not putting in the work. You're cocky if you think you're getting good and it's because you're just good. It's not the work that you put in, right? That's too cocky. But as long as you're putting in the work, as long as you're putting up the results, as long as you're doing your thing, bro, people are going to interpret it cocky. So you might as well enjoy it anyway.

You know what I'm saying? No, that's what she let me ask you this though so how long how long can you be cocky on the win one day like what's the rule 24 hours yeah celebrate for 24 hours get back to work that's my rule that's champion rule bro you ever seen nick saban do an interview bill belichick do an interview after they won national championship or super bowl you know what they're talking about already what's next coach they're talking about You ever see Nick Saban do an interview, Bill Belichick do an interview after they won national championship or Super Bowl? You know what they're talking about already? What's next, Coach? They're talking about next year.

Yeah. They're talking about waking up tomorrow and getting to work on next year. That's what champions do. That's why they're fucking champions, because they celebrate a very short time. Losers will win one time. They get the MVP of the high school football game, and they're talking about it 20 years later. You know what I'm saying? That's what losers do.

So 24-hour rule on celebrating, 24-hour rule on talking shit, 24-hour rule to feel good about your win, and then it's back to work so that you can keep being cocky. Right, right. And if you're winning every fucking day, then you're celebrating every fucking day. Bro, listen, I like people that are cocky. I like people with swag. Everybody likes people with swag because it makes you feel like you could have some swag.

The only people that don't like it are people that are totally weak, totally. They're the first group of people that I described on question one. They're the people who have given up on their dreams. They turn their nose up at anybody who's doing shit more than them. They say shit like it must be nice. given up on their dreams. They turn their nose up at anybody who's doing shit more than them. They say shit like it must be nice. You know, I'm sure I'm sure that's a great way to live. They say all kinds of dumb shit. And it's because they fucking quit on themselves, dude. That's the reality. You can't expect those people to ever understand you and your friends and your family. They're the worst ones. They're the ones that have known you your whole life.

They're going to hate on you the most because they see you changing. They see you break it out of the mold and they're like, oh, well, you're different now. No shit. That's the point. The point is for me to get different. The point is for me to not be like you. That's why I'm doing this because when I look at you and I look at the way you live and I look at the way you guys are miserable, I don't want that for myself. I want to be better. I want to put in more work. I want to be great at what I do.

I want to be fit. I want to make money. I want to do all this shit. And you don't. So thanks for motivating me. Okay? So, like, your friends and family are the first ones that are going to hate when you first step out. That's the reality.

It just hurts more because they're closer. Yeah. You think that's it? Yeah, you're not used to it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You think that those people are going to celebrate you. They're going to have your back.

They're going to push you down the path, but that's rarely the case, bro, with people that you've known your whole life because they always see you as that old version of you. You know, they don't see you as that new version of you. You know how many people in my life see me as the version of me that existed 5, ten fifteen years ago that i'm not even close to that anymore see what i'm saying so your identity in those people's eyes is very small and limited just like their identity is and when you start breaking that identity and you start moving forward and you start progressing and you get better and you get in shape and you start making some money and you start having some success they hate it because they realize,

fuck, they could have done the same, but they were too lazy. They didn't have the belief in themselves. They didn't want to do the work. They were too afraid. And they got to live with those decisions for their whole life. And they're bitter at themselves. They're mad at themselves for giving up on their original dream to accept the reality and lie about it as if it is their dream. And you're actually going out and doing something. So you can expect that you're going to get more of it, but you're going to get the worst from your family and friends. So I wouldn't, as long as you're doing the work and as long as you're putting up results and as long as you realize that you always have a lot to get better on and

a lot to improve and you're willing to do that work and you don't think that you're great just because you're you, it's okay to feel good about yourself. You know, when you look at how people's ego affects them in a negative way, you know, imagine a bell curve, all right? And on the left side of the bell curve where you're at the low point, you know, you don't know what the fuck you're doing. You don't know what to do. You don't know the skills.

You don't know the moves. You don't know the work ethic. You don't know shit. So you know that you don't know shit. So you're willing to start to take action. Okay. I don't know what to do. I don't know. Tell me what to do and I'll do it. Right? So they do this. They start doing the things. They take the actions. They take the habits of successful people and they start to move up the bell curve and they start to improve and they improve and keep improving and keep improving and keep improving. And then for most people, what happens is they get to a point where they forget about

all this work that they put in and they start believing that the success they are seeing is just because they're special. It's like reading your own news clippings. I'm great because I'm great. And that's how you can always identify the people who are about to fall on their fucking face. When they start talking about how they're the best ever or they're the best or they're better than everybody else, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, they're about to eat shit. All right. Because what happens is they start to believe that it's them

instead of remembering that it's actually the actions that they've been taking and they are living in the results of those actions. And then what happens is they stop doing the actions because they don't think they have to, because they think they're just great. And then they fall down the fucking bell curve real fast, the other side. Okay. And then they start back to a point where they're like, fuck, I don't know what just happened. I just lost everything. I lost all my friends. I lost all my money. I lost all. And then they're like, fuck, I don't know what to do. And then eventually they come to the conclusion of, well, I'll start doing what I did before. So they start taking the actions before and they start to see results. And then they get to a point where they're doing real good again.

And they will either have learned the lesson the first time or they'll repeat what they did the first time. So they'll either say to themselves, hey, I got here last time and I quit doing the work and i lost everything and they'll keep doing the work which allows them to continue to escalate up the curve without peaking right but if they get to the top again and they start saying oh i'm great and they stop doing the they're going to lose again and so most people live their lives in a in this wave of success and failure success and failure and the reason they live their lives in that wave is because they can't ever figure out that it's their own ego getting in their way of their humility understanding that they have much more to learn and many more skills to go and all you got to do to really remember this is just compare yourself to the

best in the world ever like are you winning ever. Like, are you winning compared to Bezos? Are you winning compared to Elon? Are you winning compared to Phil Knight? That's the questions I ask me. That's what I ask myself. Like, when I start feeling like I'm doing good, I look at fucking Bezos. I'm like, yeah, I ain't doing shit. Still got some work to do. No, I ain't doing shit.

And then I get back to work. This is why I use the language I use. Day one, right? A long way to go. When people say, Oh, congratulations on all the success. I'm like, fuck bro. Shut the fuck up. I haven't even started. You know what I mean? Like I hate that shit. It's poisonous to progress hearing, you know, congratulations and believing you're successful. Like dude, when people start calling themselves great and calling themselves successful, you know they're on the fucking down, bro.

It's only a matter of time because they're losing the ability to understand that they really aren't anything. They're a speck of dust in the grand scheme. There are millions of people who have done more than you, who have come from worse than you. So for you to think that you're great is an inaccurate representation of self. See what'm saying so so you go yeah so you just have to be careful for that remember the life that you're currently living is the result of the actions that the old you has been taking for a long time if the new you doesn't continue to take those actions you won't be living in that state for very much longer see what i I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. I fucking love it, man.

Yeah. I love it. Well, guys, Andy, that was three. Yep, guys, go pay the fee.