REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 702. Q&AF: Jack Of All Trades, Time Off After High School & Getting Through Dark Times

Episode Date: May 9, 2024

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to become a master at one craft when you're naturally curious, whether taking time off after high school is a smart decision, and how to get through the dark times in your life.

What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. Welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and I give you the answers. Now, you can submit your questions a few different ways to be answered on the show. The first way is... Guys, you can email those questions into askandy at andyfussella.com. Second way is you go on YouTube in the comments section on the Q and a half episodes and ask some questions in there.

We'll pick some from there as well. I'm going to skip all the other. No, I'm not actually tomorrow. We're going to have CTI. That stands for cruise the internet. That's where we talk about what's going on in the world. We speculate on what's true.

What's not true. We make some jokes. We have some fun. And then we talk about how we, the people have to solve the problems going on in the world. Other times, you're going to have real talk. Real talk is just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 Hard Verses.

Now, 75 Hard Verses is where we bring people in, maybe you, to come on the show and talk about how your life was before 75 Hard and how it is now. Usually it's pretty sucky, and then it gets a lot less sucky. And if you're unfamiliar with the 75 Hard program, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which you can get for free at episode 208 on the audio feed only. There is a book, the book on mental toughness, available on my website at andyfersella.com And if you're unfamiliar with the 75 Hard Program

It is the world's largest mental transformation program ever And it's free So you don't need the book The book is very helpful People enjoy it We sell a ton of them They're usually out of stock But if you go on there, you can pre-order it

But you don't need to You can just get the program for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. You're going to notice we don't have ads on the show. That means I don't want to take orders from people who are paying me to represent their products, so I don't do ads. Probably one of the only podcasts in the world that doesn't do that. And in exchange for that, I just ask very simply that you help us get the word out. We're constantly battling shadow bans and censorship and all the stuff going on in the world and so if you think the message is good if you think it's valuable if it makes you think if it makes you laugh it

gives you a new perspective it teaches you some skills which hopefully will teach you some today all i ask is that you please get the word out and share the show so uh don't be a hoe show the show all right what's up dude what's going on with you man nothing man yeah just training and fake entrepreneur hey are we gonna play the are we gonna play the conversation before the show we should all right just put that in there position right dj call me a fake entrepreneur two hour and 49 minutes all right let's do this what nothing bro i got real job man this is my fucking side gig hey listen what i did it well i'm just saying playing my playing entrepreneur man i get it yeah

fuck you Fuck you. All right. Ready? Yes, sir. If I was playing entrepreneur, I have a $997 coaching program. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. It's normally $15,000.

But today, just for you, it's $997. For the next 10 minutes. That's right. I've only got five spots all right ready all right and he's out here playing entrepreneur and shit oh yeah i was late yeah all right so these guys were supposed to record an hour and 49 minutes ago yep and uh i was out there having to do stuff for my real job forgot he had to podcast but i forgot forgot he was a YouTuber, bro. Dude, I forgot.

I forgot that this is my main job. Bro, come on, man. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, get with the program. So the guys are giving me a little heat. It is what it is. That's all good, man. It happens.

It happens, man. What's going on? We're training. Training's all good. You know what it is? What is it? It's my CPT. What's going on? We're training. Training's going good. You know what it is? What is it? It's my CPT. What's CPT, Andy?

It's colored people time. What? I am part black. I'm 12%. Yeah. So there's obviously a part of me that has that. Is that a real thing or not? Oh, it's a real thing.

What's it called? Yeah, it's called colored people time. Okay, why can't I say that if I'm 12%? No, you could say it. You said it. I know I said it. How'd it feel? A little weird.

I'm not too comfortable with it yet. Yeah. Yeah, fuck. I mean, is that against the rules? No, no, no. No, no. That's fine. But yeah, man.

So it's not against the rules? No, that's a fair game. I mean, you are the approval.? No, no, no. No, no. That's fine. But yeah, man. So it's not against the rules? No. That's a fair game. I mean, you are the approval. Let me call my board real quick. Call the official board. What's up, niggas? Hey, quick question.

Oh, man. Wait. 12%. It's 12%. Okay. The 10 is the cut. Yeah, you're good. All right. 10% success. All right. I got official approval. You're good, man. All right, man. Wait. 12%. It's 12%. Okay. The 10 is the cut. Yeah, you're good. All right.

10% success. All right. I got official approval. You're good, man. All right, man. That's what's up. What else is going on, man? Nothing, man.

Yeah. Dude, how about these storms? Bro, they're pretty serious today. Dude, they're like, I'm sick of it. I got an 18-foot circumference hole in my backyard right now. Why do you have that? The pool. Yeah.

The pool is 18. You still didn't throw this thing away? It's been raining. Nobody can fucking come out. It's like a pigsty back there, man. Dude, we have gotten a lot of hard storms. Yeah, they got harp on full blast. Yeah.

Yeah, no shit. Can we say that? Can we say harp? Yeah. Harp's fine. blast. Yeah. Yeah. No shit. Can we say that? Can we say harp? Yeah. Harp's fine. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

We mean like musical harp. Yeah. Musical. They got the musical harp and that makes it rain. Yeah. Fuck man. It's been, it's been bad though, man. It has been a very stormy spring.

But it's, and it's weird too. Cause like, bro, I remember like, what was it last year or was it the year before where it was like this time we were having ice storms and year or was it the year before where it was like this time we were having ice storms and shit oh yeah we did so it's like yeah

well that's the midwest dude it's the midwest you know yeah it's this time of year and then also in fall man you gotta like leave the house with

different sorts of clothes because you never know what it's gonna be yeah it's real shit but what's going on with you man you training

training getting to it my man's getting back in it getting back into it making some quick changes already man yeah yeah you get uh you you've been hitting it this is the second week in a row you you haven't missed you missed on sunday yeah i didn't miss sunday yeah after you told me you were gonna be here i was here cpt bro shit happened yours must be a lot more severe than mine because you never fucking showed up i'm up here trying. I'm like, all right, DJ's going to be here any minute.

Oh, yeah. You said you would be here at noon. Yeah. I waited till like two. No, I said it would be afternoon. You said it would be about noon. Afternoon. No, see, that's black people talk.

So you got to like plus like probably like a day. The motherfuckers say anything after, yeah, just write it off. I waited until like two, and then I'm like, all right, I got trade. So just know I waited. I had to take two servings of pre-workout because I got hyped, and then it went down. I had to take another one. I'm sorry.

It's all good. Picture Andy. Imagine you were like me waiting for my dad to pick me up from soccer like dj forgot about me oh man so what we got today man hey man we're gonna make some people better we're gonna make some people better that that's the plan that's that's uh i say this i know the people are rooting for you to get your shit together in your training yeah yeah a lot of love yeah dude i'm getting dms about it people are pumped yeah a lot of love out there. Yeah, dude, I'm getting DMs about it. People are pumped. Yeah, a lot of love. They want to see the ribs and dick,

but they don't know that's on your OnlyFans. I can show them one of them. It's on your OnlyFans. Can't show both. Show you one. Which ain't the ribs. Alright, let's do something. Guys, Andy, question number one. Let's dive into these. Question number one.

Andy, what's going on, Andy? I'm currently 24. What's up? Yeah, hey. I'm currently 24 years old, and I work at a machine shop. I also do side work at a farm for extra cash and other miscellaneous side gigs I can get. So he sells drugs on the side is what it sounds like. Miscellaneous.

That means drug dealer. Straight to jail. He says, I will be attending trade school to become an electrician in the fall for the next two years. I have zero debt and I try to diversify and allocate my money into the right spots to not only preserve what I have, but to also multiply it and build wealth. My question is, I feel like I have a lot going on and I constantly have new ideas that I want to pursue just because I'm a curious person and I would like to be the jack

of all trades. How would you handle the fact that you want to try so many new things and become more valuable and can't tie down to one thing. Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my time thinking about so many different ideas. I love all that you guys do. I will keep supporting and watching the show. All right. So I really appreciate the hustle. I appreciate the willingness to do all these things. I think that's a great thing to have that ambition and have that drive and be willing to be curious and learn. And if you're going to do those things in your 20s is the right time. So I'm not going to sit here and say that that's a bad thing, but I want you to keep something in mind.

The reason most people don't succeed is because they can't pick something. All right. And because they can't pick something, they are unable to invest the time and the energy and the effort to become a master of it, right? A jack of all trades, but a master of none. That's the saying. And that's true. And so you have to consider that. You will be competing against people who have chosen one of those things as their main thing and it's a very arrogant thought and a misguided thought to believe that you can beat someone even if they're not as skilled as you with only a

percentage of your work ethic and your energy if they're going all in so i think it's okay that you're kind of exploring and i think it's okay that you are curious and you want to know because like dude you don't want to make a decision then hate it right and by the way if that does happen it's not a total waste not a total waste because you're going to learn right you're going to learn skill sets and you can take those skill sets and apply them somewhere else like for example if you're making fucking hamburgers right now or you're making fries right, you should be making the best hamburgers out of everybody else that you work with. And you should be making the best fucking fries. And why that matters is because you're cultivating the mentality and the habit forming of creating things at a high level and doing whatever task

it is at a high level. So if you happen to be sweeping the floors right now, sweep the fuck out of those floors and make them perfect because that skill of doing things the right way will follow you to whatever it is that you go to. But with that being said, we want to try and waste as little time as possible into things that aren't going to be our thing. And most people at 24 years old don't necessarily know exactly what they're going to do. I didn most people at 24 years old don't necessarily know exactly what they're going to do. I didn't know at 24 years old, even though I was already five years into my business, that this was going to be the thing that I did forever. But as I accumulated more knowledge and more experience, it made sense for me to continue. And there were things that I really enjoyed. For example, one of the things that I really love that I get to do every single day is I get to legitimately help people change their bodies, change their minds, change their lives.

And that's very rewarding outside of the money made from it. So I got sort of lucky in that. And I use that term very loosely because when a lot of people hear luck, they start to make excuses. Well, you didn't get he got lucky. No, I didn't have an option and that was the lucky part of it. I had to keep going and that allowed me to become a master of what I do. So my advice to you would be to try to figure out what it is you want to do as quickly as possible and then go all in on that and remove the rest of the shit.

Okay. Because you don't want to be a jack of all trades and a master of none, because what that equates to is you not being competitive in the field that you're in. And that equates to you not having very much money in your bank account. All right. So, and if you're older, if you're 30, or if you're in your forties, it's very important that you get that solved quickly Because you have less time than the 24 year old or the 19 year old to sort of discover, right? so Choosing what we want to do is a hard decision but If we make an educated guess about where we want to be and what we want to do and what we want our life to look like and we consider the fact of what we enjoy and what has the potential to actually become

a very profitable and lucrative career now we're in a situation to make an educated guess of what we want to do and and so you start down this path and you're able to be competitive because you're putting all your energy in that and you know you're able to maybe beat some of the other people because you're better, you're putting more experience, or you're putting in more work, or you're learning more, or you've got a better coach or a better mentor that's actually done what it is that you want to do, not one of these fucking dumb fucks out here that lies about everything. Those people can collapse your time frame on becoming an expert.

The point is you want to make your choice as quickly as possible. You want to go all in as quickly as possible because it's going to take that all in effort to be competitive in the marketplace. So that would be my advice to a 24 year old. Now, if I were to give this advice to a 34 year old or a 44 year old, it would maybe be, Hey motherfucker, you need to stop fucking around and pick the thing you're going to do, or you ain't gonna have the fucking time to do it. You see what I'm saying? So there there's, as you go, and by the way, if you're 34 or you're 44 and you're just getting started, that's okay too, but you better find someone who's done what the fuck it is you're trying to do so that they can collapse your time frame and get you on the path as quick as possible so as you age the pressure to make the decision to go all in becomes more and more crucial because

of the lack of time that we have on the back end so that that would be my answer to that young man i love that a couple things on this you know people always say you know that saying of jack of all trades is a master of none but like there's a second part of that that says but a master of one is still better than a master of none right and so like to your point like you're still going to get beat out by somebody who went in who went all in yeah bro look you can't one thing look it's impossible there's very fucking few people so here's this is the fallacy of the internet right you see all these fucking coaches who've never built a motherfucking thing all these guys wanting to be podcasters and speakers and entrepreneurial authorities and they sell courses on shit they never did they they they're not effective

entrepreneurs their whole income stream is to sell other people shit that, you know, they didn't actually do. Right. So a lot of these sayings go around the internet that are, that are highly misleading. And one of them is the average entrepreneur has seven screens or the average millionaire has seven streams of income. Yeah. After they've already mastered the one thing that's made them a millionaire, then they would do something called diversification. And you would apply the skill sets that you know as being an entrepreneur and being successful in one thing to parallel things. Okay. So like when you hear the average millionaire has seven streams of income, they didn't get to the millionaire by

having seven streams at the beginning. They got there because they mastered one thing and then they were making money. So they diversified into other things. And usually when you go and look at these people's multiple income streams, they are very parallel to what they did the first time because those skill sets are applicable to each category. So for example, my skillset is brand building and, and fulfillment and selling CPG goods direct to the consumer. Now I do that with cannabis. I do that with tequila. I do that with, you know, I help with all these other things that are all the skillsets all aligned, right? like you don't ever find these entrepreneurs who are like you know they did one thing and then all this like they

didn't just do a cpg brand and then all of a sudden they're a restaurateur right or they're a fucking uh i don't know they own a some sort of concrete company. They open up a laundromat. Yeah, usually you take the skill sets that you have and you apply them to parallel type situations, which allows you to scale very quickly in these other brands. But this whole idea of I'm going to have seven streams of income when I'm 19 years old, and that's what's, no, because you're going to lose know have seven streams of income when I'm 19 years old and that's what's no Because you're gonna lose that way because you're competing against people who are putting all their energy in the one thing and you're not

So it's impossible to compete like that. Does that make sense? Absolutely So like when I look at businesses like I was talking to her mosey about this just the other day and I was like, man I want to fucking start I got the ish to like start something up again. Like I love the startup phase. I love going from zero to like, you know, eight figures like that. I really love that part of the process. And him and I were chatting back and forth and he was like, well, what do you think? And I'm like, I don't know, something that fits in my range of skill set.

Right. And you have to be aware enough of what that skill set is so as you develop your first thing you're going to figure out what is my strong points and what do i know and what am i good at what am i better than everybody else at and then you take those things and you apply them to this next thing and that next thing that next thing or you vertically integrate off of the things that you're already doing like a lot of the stuff I do is vertical integration offshoots of what we do as our main thing. So, but this idea that you're going to read this meme,

it says average millionaire has seven streams of income, but they don't have that until they've already made it in one thing. Because to make it in one thing, the first thing requires everything you have. So if you read that the wrong way, we see a lot of these younger guys on the internet saying, I do this, I got seven businesses,

I got 10 businesses. Yeah, but you ain't making it in none of them. You know what I mean? Right. So having a business, having an LLC, having a, you know, that's not, that doesn't matter. It's how much money are you fucking making?

You know what I mean? So, so yeah, dude, it's, it's very easy money are you fucking making you know what i mean so um so yeah dude it's it's very easy for me to see this where i'm at right at 40 i'm 44 years old now 25 years in business since i was 19 in the same business not in fucking business like i started a bunch and they failed right right i haven't had a business fail since i was 19 years old all of them a fucking one so when we when we look at actually that's not true i did have one that failed we'll talk about that another time but the point is is that it's very easy for me to see how this works and it's very hard for the young person to see how it works so you know go back and listen to this question a few times if you're just getting started.

But just remember, you're not going to be able to get great at the one thing that's going to make you all the money if you're spreading your effort across multiple things where this person's already learned the main things that they need to do. So that's like competing against someone who spends all their time playing basketball and you think you're going to be as good as them, but you're also bowling and you're playing baseball and you're playing hockey and you think you're going to be as good as them, but you're also bowling and you're playing baseball and you're playing hockey and you're wrestling and you're playing football and you're practicing all this shit.

I mean, I think it's pretty safe to say that the guy who practices all of his time in basketball is going to beat your ass and that's the same in business. So you need to think about it like that. I love it. I love it, man. Well guys, Andy question number two,

Andy, I graduate high school in two weeks. A lot of my friends are talking about taking a gap year, which is basically they take a year off from work or take a year off from going to college and find themselves. In other words, they live off their parents and party and don't do shit. Good. Good.

Let them. That's a year you can get shit. Good. Good, let them. That's a year you can get ahead of them. Now, I'm definitely going to college. I want to be a lawyer. These friends do listen to the show, not as much as I do, but can you give them some real advice on why this gap year would be a bad idea or as bad as I think it would be for them? Appreciate you, big dog.

All right, yeah. I'll give you a bunch of ideas. One, you're going to be lazy as fuck, so you're going to get out of the habits of doing the work every day, which most people never get back into. Two, by not paying attention to what's going on, business and the society and everything that's going on in terms of having a career is changing so fast that when you come back and you start paying attention again, you're going to be way behind. Three, the people who don't take a gap year are automatically a year ahead of you. Automatically. And I know you think, well, it doesn't matter if they're

actually a year ahead of me. No, it actually does. Okay. So there's three reasons. Now, are there benefits to taking a gap year? I don't know. Maybe like you could go to Europe. Like I went to Europe when I graduated high school i went i went uh but i didn't take a whole year off it was a fucking year i just went for you know a few weeks and yeah it was awesome um but i think the most dangerous thing about this gap year is that it breaks the routine of you having to be productive which is a habit which is very very important especially if you're going to go on to build a career um Now, a lot of people aren't going to college, but clearly, you know, if you're going to be a lawyer, you know, some states, they let you take the bar without it, but it's probably a good idea to go

to college, right? If you're going to be a lawyer. But if you're not going to be something that requires a professional degree like that, you should automatically go into the workforce because most companies aren't even looking for degrees anymore. They're not looking for indoctrinated employees. Like honestly, like when people apply here with their college degree, I almost don't want to hire them because I know they've been fed a bunch of fucking bullshit. So I'm not saying this because you don't want to take the gap year so that you can go to college right away. I'm saying this is that it's, that's a valuable year for you to get ahead of all your peers If you choose to go hard right away, I started my business at 19 years old All right

I went to one year of college and I was like Man, this ain't for me And then I kept going to college when I first started my business and I got three years in i'm like now fuck this These people are stupid. I learned it for myself but Um, it just depends on what you want to do if you want to be a doctor You got to go to school if you want to be a lawyer It's a pretty good idea to go to do if you want to be a doctor you got to go to school if you want to be a lawyer it's a pretty good idea to go to school you want to be an

engineer you probably got to go to school but if you're just going to school to go to school yeah don't don't get yourself in that situation i think there's something too about putting off the reality of the world right like there's something to be said that like i mean i feel like you know people leave in high school you're in the real world now right like your decisions like that's when your decisions start having real consequences in the real world you're viewed as an adult right and to try to put that off and delay that it's like you're slowly ripping the band-aid off it's like no just rip the shit off and get out there i i you know what i'm saying yeah well i mean i know it was that way for you because you didn't have a –

I bet you were right out on your own. Oh, at 17. Yeah. Not everybody's like that. People do have parents that take care of them, like the guy said in the question. Yeah. If you were my kid, I would tell you this. I would say, hey, it's okay to go see the world, take a trip for two weeks,

do whatever you got to do, but let's fucking get after it right now because your your peers and the people you're competing against they're going to be not only taking a year off they're going to be fucking off for four more years in college and then they're going to try to figure out what they do i would say hey let's get to work building something right now and and that way we've got a four or five year head start on all these other fuckers. And it's a valuable time because you can't get that head start really any other time in life. So that's my take on it. If you were my son, that's what I would say. But you ain't.

I love it. All right. Well, guys, Andy, our third and final question. Andy, I want to start by saying I hate the victimhood mentality just as much as the next person. It's low hanging fruit, in my opinion. I feel like people with real struggles and real hardships don't really speak on those things publicly or not. I know that life happens to everyone. Things happen, death, sicknesses, et cetera. My question is, when you have found yourself in those dark times in your life, what have you found to be the best way to get through them? I feel like a lot of people suffer in silence and don't know how to get out of the suffering without feeling like they are a part of the victim mentality bullshit. How do we handle this? Look, man, you're going to have bad times. You're going to have hard times. of the victim mentality bullshit. How do we handle this?

Look, man, you're going to have bad times. You're going to have hard times. Everybody has them, okay? It's called fucking life. Here's the thing. When hard times come, when bad shit happens, most people lay down and they stop trying. They go and they curl up in a little ball in the shower and they fucking cry and they boohoo about their life.

And a lot of times that's justified. All right. Your child could die. You could lose a sibling. You could your parents. Who knows? Lots of shit. OK.

And it's OK to be upset. That's not what I'm saying. But what I am saying is, is if you wallow in that for the next fucking five years and you concentrate on just that and you always talk about that and you always focus on that, you can't move through it effectively. So the way to move through hard times, which are going to happen, bro, nobody is immune to them. And you're correct. People who go through really hard shit usually don't bitch about it.

They just fucking eat it. And the way that those people get through it is that they control the things they can control. Okay. What can you control? You can control the most important things that affect your daily life every single day. You can't control your environment. You can't control what's going to happen. You can't control what God's going to do. You can't control these tragedies. These are going to happen. You can't control a bad economy. You can't control a fire burning down your house. You can't control these things.

But what you can control is that you can control what you eat. You control how you move your body. You control what you put in your mind. You control how you treat people. You control your attitude. You control all of these things. And those things are the most important things to your daily state of mind and your daily state of being. Okay. If you're eating well and you're drinking water and you're putting good things in your mind and you're

continuing to make progress, you're going to feel much better than the person who's just wallowing in their hardship. All right. And not only that, and this is the most important thing. Most people get paralyzed in terms of progress of their life when hard things happen. And if you have developed the ability to control the controllables and move through and continue to progress when everybody else quits, you're, you've got a big gap there. You create a big advantage for yourself because most people can't do that. All right. So, and I know it's hard,

but sometimes the best way to get through things is to actually just keep pushing through. And that way, when you do start feeling better, you don't look back and you say, fuck, I let all my progress die. I let my business die. I let my career die. I got fat. I got this. And you don't have this huge mountain that you have to climb now to get back where you were because you were disciplined enough and smart enough to control those things through the hardship. Okay. So now instead of being in this bad mental spot, you've kind of worked your way out of it. And you're like, fuck, all right, I'm starting to feel better. And you look back, you're like, well, fuck, I didn't really even get

off track because I was controlling the controllables. So I'm in a really good spot. Okay. And so not only is it good for you mentally, but it's also good for you in the terms of how much progress you're making against your peers. And a lot of people will say, oh, there's fucking no such thing as competition. I'm just competing with myself. Bullshit. Okay. There's very little spots at the top of high earner potential. And that's what we talk about here. We talk about earning potential, making money, kicking ass in business and life. There are very few spots at the top. It is a limited fucking placing. Okay. That's why there are so few of them. And then below that, the level of pretty good, that's more of those. And then there's average where by definition, there's the most

of those. That's why it's called average. All right. So most people end up in average because A, like we talked about beginning, they don't pick the thing. B, they spread their efforts across multiple things. C, when bad things happen, they paralyze themselves and they don't make that progress. And all the while, the people who do all of those things continue to move forward, which creates a huge gap in the results that are produced. And dude, the reality is the world rewards results. It doesn't care if you're fucking sad. It doesn't care if you don't feel good. It doesn't care if you're going through. It doesn't care if you don't feel good It doesn't care if you're going through bullshit

The world doesn't give a fuck and you have to understand this and you could argue about it You could cry about it. You could say it's not fair, but that is the way it is So if you can build yourself into someone who can move through the hard times Effectively, maybe not at top level But at least effectively so that we're not having to climb this big mountain that you created by pausing and just wallowing bro you you got a really good chance of beating everybody else out so that's the way to look at it my opinion yeah let me actually i'm gonna get real real quick because i want to i want to i really would like to see your take on this right you got stabbed you were 20 22 23 23 years old and you were stabbed and you said that was about

a two-year time period in your life right shit was dark yeah right now fast forward to 2021 you tear your shoulder yeah fucking obliterated. Yeah, it wasn't just terror. It was total reconstruction. It was fucked up. You know what I'm saying? That was about a two year. What would you say the difference is between that? The difference is when I got stabbed, I fucking sat around. I drank. I didn't do

shit. I felt sorry for myself. I didn't go out in public. I was embarrassed. I wallowed and it made me into a suicidal fucking literal nightmare of a human being this time and By the way, it's a different thing. Okay, there's different levels of severity here and as bad as my shoulder was It's still a bad thing, but it wasn't as bad as getting stabbed in the fucking face, right?

That's interesting. I look at them to say well It's less traumatic. Yeah, I look at it the same. Well, it's less traumatic. I'll say that. So, but the amount of mental impact that it had was very similar. That's what I'm saying. I mean, because I wasn't able,

I was at first, I was at the best shape of my life. I had all the momentum and it completely derailed all of that. But what I did instead of wallowing, I did what the fuck I could. I come in here. I fucking train with one arm. I, I would do everything I could. I'd I could. I'd come in here. I fucking train with one arm. I, I would do everything I could. I'd eat good. I'd train with one arm. I didn't put on a bunch of

weight. I didn't get fucking fat again. I kept my weight off. I kept my fitness close to in check. And I think that made it so like I was able to continue moving forward in all areas of my life. So I didn't miss two years of my life by just sitting around crying and feel sorry for myself. And by the way It was one of the better Best like just like getting stabbed. I say was the best thing that ever happened to me because it changed my perspective You know having my shoulder reconstructed when I'm at the peak of my physicality and mental being And then having to go back and then working through that was a huge mental test that I fucking passed. So now I look back and I'm like, yeah, that sucked, but fuck that. That didn't beat

me. It didn't break me. And now I have that much more confidence because of that. So, you know, if you keep moving, things are going to work out much better than if you don't. And so, you know, it's just reality, dude. It's not my opinion it's just reality well i think a lot of people too they get stuck in those times like when that storm comes and they wallow in it and before you know it it's life here comes another storm and yeah like and so i think there's also like a universal aspect to this too right because the more you wallow in it and you're not doing anything to fix or adjust or change the universe somehow gives you a little bit more of that man because like that's what you're asking it's almost like

that's what you're asking bro when you focus this is why i talk about therapy the way i do because when you focus on the same problems day in and day out day in and day out day in and day out poor me i'm fucked up i got this wrong me i got that wrong with me. I got that wrong with me. I can't do this because of that. You're actually putting all of your focus on all these things that are bad in your life. And when you put your focus on all these things that are bad in your life, do you know what the universe gives you? More bad shit. Okay. And this is why, you know, while I think therapy may be beneficial for some people, I think it's totally overblown. I think it's highly predatory for a lot of these therapists because these therapists have no incentive to actually

get you better because you're paying them to continue to be fucked up. All right. So they want you to talk about your shit. They want you to focus on your shit because they know that if you focus on your shit and talk about your shit, you can't get through your shit. All right. Now, I'm not saying that you shouldn't talk to someone. That is not what I'm saying. I'm saying that it is way overblown in terms of how appropriate it is. And if you actually want to get better, you need to start focusing on what you're trying to create and who you're trying to become again, just like you did before. And not focusing on how bad shit is and how hard you have it.

All right? you did before and not focusing on how bad she is and how hard you have it all right that is a absolutely for sure recipe to stay in that exact same place if you always focus on what your problems are and you always focus on what's wrong if you're in a down spot and you're in a spot where you're you know you know you're not want to be you have to just make the plan like you have never made the plan before right you have to start out at ground zero and say okay yeah fucking i got derailed all right i still want to be that motherfucker over there so what does that guy do he does this he does this he does this he does this and then start doing those things right away controlling the controllables and you push yourself out of that fucking place so So that's why Live Hard is such a valuable program for people because it forces them to push through.

You can't do the program if you're not willing to work through adversity because it's a year-long program. And, you know, it takes up 40% of your year. You're bound to have adversity during that program so if you if you can learn to work through the adversity and stay on the program you learn a new skill set which is very valuable which is how to move forward when everybody else gets paralyzed that makes sense actually I remember I think it might have been like the second day or third day after your surgery you were like well we're about to see what I made of yeah motherfucker I did cardio fucking 30 minutes after my surgery just to prove a point to myself. Yeah.

Yeah. So I think that's some real shit, man. Yeah. Yeah, man. I love it. Was that three? That was three. We got four?

We got another one? Yeah. We'll do another one. Yeah. Let's pour some sauce. Extra sauce. A sauce. Sauce. Sauce. I think that's actually something really nasty. Sauce. Sauce. Let's pour some sauce extra sauce a souse souse souse

I think that's actually something really nasty souse souse souse is like fucking like you know a head cheese is Paul cheese No, what? What it's real Head cheese like some stuff you got on your little Peter. No, that's dick cheese Well, that's that's dick cheese. That's head cheese. No, souse is like a real thing. You got a cheesy pea? No, I thought you had to be like,

you know, not snipped. I don't know what the fuck you are or aren't. I'm snipped. So you got the mushroom tip? They did a great job on it, actually. Yeah, I feel good about mine, too. Solid dog. You got one of those mushrooms, too? Yep, I feel good about mine, too. Yeah. Solid dog. You got one of those mushrooms, too?

Yep, I got a big one. All right. What did you say? I got a big one. I got a little shiitake over there. All right. That's why he likes jiu-jitsu so much. Keep rubbing on everybody.

All right, let's do it. Stay focused. Yeah, baby portobello this is very serious stop it this is serious we're serious here this is a fucking serious show all right back to making people better yeah um question number four guys andy uh andy how do you tame your nervous system in moments of high stress or perceived conflict. I am 24 years old. I've been in business. I've been a business owner for four years. Tough conversations and perceived conflict sends my body into fight or flight.

Even even though I logically know there's no real imminent danger. I have been working on addressing these situations head on and talking to myself through them. However, I still feel my heart rate increase, palms get sweaty and feeling like I can't get my words out or address the situation in the moment like I need to often freeze. Do you have any tricks for calming your nervous system or the fight or flight response so you can address conversations and situations effectively? Absolutely. First of all, if you're a young entrepreneur, this is not abnormal to feel nervous when you have to have conversations that there may be some contention in them. Okay. That's a normal thing.

And the way that you ultimately get through that is by having them over and over and over again to the point where it's just natural to have them. And I can promise you, if you will just commit to working through this process, you will get to a point where you can have these conversations and your heartbeat will not even change at all. It will just be a conversation. And so the first thing you have to do to get to that point is you have to be willing to do them. You have to be willing to do the reps.

And that goes for anything, any skillset you're trying to build. And this is a skillset, having conversations that are direct. That's a skillset. So you have to be willing to do the reps. And that goes for anything, any skill set you're trying to build. And this is a skill set, having conversations that are direct. That's a skill set. So you have to be willing to have them if you ever want to get better. Secondly, you have to frame the conversation the proper way. If you go into it saying, this is a conflict conversation, or this is a hard conversation, it's going to be conflicting and it's going to be hard because you've already decided that

so instead just say i gotta have a conversation all right don't put the burden on yourself that this is gonna be hard and and and you start imagining all these unlikely scenarios about what they could say and usually they don't even say that shit. Usually you sit down, you say, hey, this is what I need. And they say, okay, cool. Got done. Yeah. And so, yeah. So understand that people aren't going to automatically like flip the fuck out because you have to tell them something.

A lot of young entrepreneurs, and I don't mean young in age, I just mean young in the game. They really struggle with this because they've never been in a position where they have to like tell someone what they need Or direct someone right? So they're very uncomfortable with it and they feel like fuck. I don't want to tell somebody Uh what it what this means or I don't want to have this conversation I don't want to be direct because I don't want them to think that i'm better than them No, dude, it's not that you're better than them

And this is point number three you have to realize that that's your role Your role on the team is to direct the boat on the right course. And you can't get the boat on the right course unless you're talking to the people who are rowing the boat, right? And you might be rowing the boat too. So you might have to talk while you're rowing. And you might have to say to the guys, hey, you guys over there on the right, you're rowing a little too slow. We got to pick it up so we can go straight and we don't go in a circle. You see what I'm saying? That's not a hard conversation because they want to go straight too. So you have to remember, they have an interest in getting this problem corrected as well. And most people that are reasonable want to

correct those things. So all of that aside, you have to remember, dude, you have chosen a path that you have not gone down before. And there's going to be lots of things that are difficult for you. And one of them for most people is to have a direct conversation. But if you can't learn to have a direct conversation, you are not valuable. That is it. And that goes for you're not effective and you're not valuable. And that doesn't just go for the person who's directing the boat on what direction. That goes for the motherfucker who's also rowing, AKA an employee, right?

If an employee, like if you're back on the back of the boat and you're, you're back there and no one can really see you rowing and your fucking oars fucked up and you don't tell anybody and you're rowing as hard as you can and you still can't row with the team because your oars fucked up and you don't want to go say something because you're afraid of what they're going to say. You're invaluable and ineffective to the team. And a lot of people who are like entrepreneurs, they don't understand this concept. They don't understand that they have to give feedback. They have to be willing to say, hey, here's where I'm having an issue because that's valuable shit to the leadership. And leadership will value someone a hundred times more

that will come to them and say, hey, here's a problem I see without abusing that conversation, okay? Because there's two kinds of people here. There's people who will come and give you the exact feedback you need that is valuable, who is a team player. And they say, hey hey this is what i notice

i think it needs to get fixed here what can we do to fix this and then people there's the other kind of person who will disguise their their feedback as a complaint or as a way to get something more for them all right and that always bring you everything that usually sounds like bitching okay so there's a big difference between bitching and giving constructive feedback. If you just go to your leadership and bitch all the time because you hear Andy say it's important to give feedback or you're invaluable, you're going to get fired because people don't like that. They don't like getting bitched at. They don't like hearing gossip. They don't.

There's important shit. And then there's non-important shit. And your job in giving feedback is to keep all the non-important shit off the plate of your leader and make their job easier and then bring the important shit to them so that they can fix it and the team can move forward. So this ability to directly communicate is a massive asset, not just for the leadership, but also the people who are on the team that aren't necessarily the main leader. You can be a leader peer to peer too. That's a whole nother thing. Like if you're on a team and you're in the boat and I'm just giving you some free game on how

to be more valuable. And you're, you're back there and you hear the other guy and he's like, fuck, fuck this. This is stupid. This is blah, blah, blah. That's where you go to the guy. You'd be like, hey, that motherfucker ain't on the team, bro. We need someone else rowing, right? And what most people will do is they'll do this fucking pussy shit. Well, some people are upset because of who people.

Well, I don't want to name names. Well, then, bro, you're not valuable to me because I can't fix the problem if you won't name the fucking names. You bro i you're not valuable to me because i can't fix the problem if you won't name the fucking names gotta play guess who's trying to figure this shit out it's the most annoying shit in the world and and the reason it happens is because there isn't trust between the leadership and the team okay the leadership has to earn trust of the team to know that they have the team's best interest in mind. And then the team will be more likely to communicate directly to you. And that's what you want. You want direct

communication both ways. Hey guys, I need you to roll a little harder. The guy in the back said, Hey, my oars fucked up. I need to fucking do this. Okay. All right, good. Hey, that guy over there, that guy ain't fucking, he don't want to be here. Let's throw him off the fucking boat, right? Let's get someone on here that does.'s all valuable shit but what's not valuable is going to the front of the boat and saying man i'm fucking tired i don't i don't like this i don't like the the way the oars are hurting my hands you know like i don't i don't like the way i don't like the tone you use when you tell us to row that shit get the fuck out you know what i'm saying we're here to fucking win we're here to kick ass.

We're here to be productive. We're here to win as a team. And that requires open conversation, direct conversation, honest feedback without all the trash. Okay? So hopefully that helps some of you guys. Yeah, 100% man. I love it. Well guys, Andy,

that was four. Yeah. Try not to be a whore. Yeah.