REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 704. Real Talk: How Losing Sets The Stage For Winning

Episode Date: May 11, 2024

In today's episode, Andy talks about the power losing has to building your confidence and the lessons you can extract from the losses to help you win big in your life.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcella and this is the show for the realest sake about the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of my society. Welcome to Motherfucking Reality. Guys, today we have a real talk and I'm just going to get right into it, okay? The reason that you suck is highly likely to be that you are afraid to fail. You are afraid to fall on your face. You are afraid to look stupid in front of people who aren't ever going to do anything. They're not ever going to do anything. In five years, they're going to be in the same spot. In 20 years, they're going to be in the same spot. And you're worried about what these

motherfuckers think about you falling down on your face. And because of that, you don't go. And let me explain something to you. You're missing the point. The whole process of success is dependent and it requires you to fail over and over and over again. There is no book. There is no course. There is no guru. There is no television show. There is no college education that can teach you what you will learn from the failures that you have. The biggest successful inspirations that you know have had the most failures. They have made the most mistakes. They have fucked up more than anybody else. I am a perfect example of that. I have literally fucked up every single thing in my life over the course of the last 25 years. The thing I did that most people don't do is I just kept going. Okay. And whenever I had a fuck up, I said, all right,

well, why'd I fuck up? Well, I did this and this and this, and then I make a mental note and then I don't do that again. And then I keep moving forward. And because of that, I have acquired a long list of skills and a long list of knowledge that would be impossible to acquire any other way. You could not acquire it without it. And because you're afraid of what these weird motherfuckers are going to say about you, if you go out and you fail, you're actually removing the entire possibility of success from your life because failure is a requirement. You will learn more from your failures than you will ever learn from your wins. All right. So instead of being afraid

to fail, instead of trying to avoid failure, instead of being embarrassed when you fail, start to understand that failure is a 100% requirement for people to be successful. And every single time you fail, every single time you stumble, every single time you make a stupid mistake, you should audit that, take the lesson, put the skill in your tool belt. And then the next time that situation arises, you know what to do. And this is the thing that people never get because they're too afraid to start in the beginning. Do you really think that in 25 years of business that I haven't fucked everything up? You think I just got this? I just started knowing all this shit. You think I come on here and teach you guys all this shit because

I just know it? No, I've fallen on my face a million fucking times. I've got my balls smashed in 10 million times. Okay. I'm just intelligent enough to learn the lesson and not repeat the same mistake twice, which is what I tell you all the time. I tell you all the time, you need two fucking things to win. You need, one, the intelligence, which doesn't have to be hyper-intelligent, just enough intelligence to be able to learn the lesson and not repeat the mistake. Two, you have to build the discipline and the grit and the fortitude and the determination and the endurance and the confidence

and the ability to execute when conditions aren't ideal to never quit. That is why 75 Hard and Live Hard is such a valuable program for people because it gives them the ability that they have been lacking their entire lives. It's not that they don't know what to do. It's that they couldn't fucking consistently do it when conditions weren't perfect and conditions on the path to success will never be perfect. So you have to build yourself into someone who can execute,

whether it's great times or whether it's bad times. And if you can do those three things, if you can be the person who understands, one, the losses are a valuable part and teach me way more shit than I could ever learn anywhere else. Number two, I have to be intelligent enough to not make the same mistakes over and over and over again. And number three, if you could build yourself into someone who can execute when conditions are fucking terrible, this is the difference between the people that you admire and all the irrelevant people, all the people that you look up to, all the people that you admire, all the people that you want to be like, they have all went down the path. They have all tripped up. They have all stumbled.

They have all had major issues. They have all had major failures, divorces, bankruptcies, fucking whatever, man. They have fucked up their lives over and over and over again. The difference is that those people continue to go. And what usually happens is most people start to go down the path and they get one fuck up. They have one thing happen. And all of a sudden they're saying, oh, well, I guess this wasn't for me then because I didn't hit perfect. Bro, people that bat 300 in the major leagues get paid $200 million contracts, $300 million contracts. That means they're failing seven times out of 10.

That is an accurate representation of what it takes to win. Nobody starts out on this path and starts hitting fucking home runs after home runs after home runs. No matter what these morons on the internet fucking tell you, most truly successful people fail far more than they succeed. You just don't see it. All right. And you guys are filled with the internet, which is a bunch of bullshit with a bunch of lying motherfuckers who talk about everything they do and how much money they make and how they always win and everything goes their way. These people are fucking lying because they're trying to sell you something. They're trying to sell you a pathway with no resistance. It is legitimately

poking you in the scare point, in the fear point. And the fear point for you is I don't want to look stupid. So they promise you this path of zero resistance, of zero pain, of zero struggle, and you eat it the fuck up because you don't want to be embarrassed. And I'm going to tell you this, dude, you don't want to be that person. You want to be the person who is willing to go out, who's willing to get your ass kicked day in and day out, who doesn't give a fuck if you end up looking stupid because you understand that you are acquiring skills along the way that are gonna help you to build the life that you truly want.

And that is the biggest difference, dude. I get asked all the time, what's the biggest difference between winners and losers? The biggest difference between winners and losers is the understanding of how important it is to actually lose. I wanna lose as much as possible because I understand that's going to make me more skilled. All right?

I'm not in here trying to avoid losing. I'm not in here trying to avoid looking stupid. I don't give a fuck if I look stupid because the people who think I look stupid are sitting in their basement eating fucking Hot Pockets. I'm driving to work in a fucking Rolls Royce. Clearly it works, okay? So you guys have to understand, if you are going to win and you're going to build something

and you're going to become something, you're going to create a life that you are proud of, you have to embrace the losses as an asset. It is not a liability. It is not something to be ashamed of. It is something that you should accept and celebrate because it's teaching you the skills that none of these other motherfuckers are ever going to have. All right. So stop worrying about falling on your face in front of motherfuckers who aren't even going to be relevant in your life a year from now,

five years from now, 10 years from now, 20 years from now, they are going to be doing the same things they have always done. They're going to be sitting on their fucking bar stool or in their mom's basement critiquing every little thing all the while their life is passing them by and you are actually creating shit. Okay? So stop being afraid to fail. Start embracing the failures. Take inventory of the lessons.

Apply the skills moving forward and you will have everything apply the skills moving forward, and you will have everything that it takes to fucking win. And they will have none of that.