REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 709. Real Talk: Prove Them Wrong

Episode Date: May 18, 2024

 In today's Real Talk, Andy talks about his early entrepreneurial days and how to overcome family and friends who talk negatively about you and discourage you from accomplishing the goals you've set.

What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we have a real talk and it's gonna be audio only so uh that's the way it's gonna be well listen guys you know we get lots of emails in for Q&A F and one of the most frequent emails that we get is how to deal with people who talk shit who hate on you who don't believe in you and who discourage you. And I'm going to share with you a little bit about what it was like for me, and then give you a little bit of information on how you could deal with this and make it actually

work for you. You know, when I first started in business, guys, I was 19 years old. I didn't have any real experience. I didn't have any resources. We didn't know what we were doing. And it was a joke to almost everybody around me everybody around me thought it was some sort of side project or some sort of trend or or temporary thing that we were going to do and then it would eventually fade out

and along the way you know when we first started we had people that would say oh man that's so cool that's so cool that you guys are doing that. And once we got going, you know, we got a year in, we got two years in, we weren't making any money. All right. Like I talk about all the time, the first day we were in business, we sold $7. The second day we were in business, we didn't sell anything. And the third day we sold $23.

It took us eight months to have a day over $200. And it took us five and a half years to open up our second location. So the first three years that I was in business, I didn't make a single dollar from the business. Both Chris and I worked other jobs to keep the business going. And during that time, we faced a lot of criticism. We faced a lot of hate. We faced a lot of criticism. We faced a lot of hate. We faced a lot of jokes. We had a lot of people telling us that we needed to be realistic and we needed to grow

up and we needed to get a real job. And, you know, as we progressed and we grew the company, that never changed. It actually got worse. And as it became more apparent that we were doing something, the chirps from the crickets got louder and louder and louder. All right. People were now saying things like, oh, you still got that little vitamin shop? How's the little vitamin shop going? What are you guys doing with that?

And they would still say things like, when are you going to grow up and get a real job? Okay. This is normal. This is the way it goes. Nobody is going to believe in you until you have actually done something. Nobody believes in you in the process of you doing it. But once it becomes apparent that you're going to do it, everybody believes in you and everybody's proud of you. And all of a sudden everybody comes out of the woodwork and pretends like they've supported you the whole time.

And what's ironic is that when that happens, you no longer need their approval. You look at them and you're like, well, where the fuck were you when I was struggling? I remember all the shit that you said. I remember all these discouraging remarks because they hurt and they stick. So the first thing you need to understand is this is normal. This is what people deal with when they break the mold of what everybody else is doing and go out on their own to build a better life, to build a business, to build a career, to do whatever it is that you want to do that is outside the norm of what your peer group has. Okay. And these people, as you go down the path,

they're going to talk shit. They're going to make fun. They're going to say you can't do it. They're going to instill doubt. Okay. That is normal shit. Every single person that has ever built anything that you look up to drive down the road and look at all the businesses on the left side of the road and all the businesses on the right side of the road, scroll through the internet and look at all the people that you admire. Every single one of those fucking people dealt with this thing that we're talking about. All right. So you have to understand this is not personal. This is just the way it is. And you guys get overly frustrated and emotional about it, which is not the way it is. And you guys get overly frustrated and emotional about it, which is not the way that winners think about this. Okay. There is a distinct difference between

how winners think about this and how losers think about this. Losers will hear these things. They will get frustrated. They will get angry. They will get pissed off and then they will sit on the couch and sulk. It will paralyze them. They will say things to themselves like, oh, well, nobody believes in me. I guess I can't do it. They will say things like, oh, my friends and family, they don't even think that I'm any good. Well, no shit, man, because you ain't any good. You have to ask yourself, what have you done to earn the trust, to earn the belief of the people around you? You have to be real about it. You can't be idealistic about it. You haven't done anything yet. And the fact that you haven't done anything your entire life is all

the evidence that they have to go off of. So when you sit there and pout and you let these things paralyze you, you're doing what losers do. Now, winners do the exact opposite. They hear these things and they take them and they deposit them into their energy bank. And they understand that when people talk this shit, they take these things and they put them into this bank of negative energy. And the minute that they get tired, the minute that they get frustrated, the minute they feel like they shouldn't go on or can't go on, they think about what these motherfuckers said. And they go up there and they pull the energy out of this negative energy bank and they get up immediately and use that energy to productive action. So what they're doing is they're taking what people are giving them and they're using it to propel themselves

forward versus the loser who hears this information and lets it paralyze them. This is the biggest difference between people who win and people who lose. It's not that people who win don't face any negativity. It's not that people who win get to go down the path and get a smooth sailing all the way to the finish line. It's that people who win understand how to utilize negativity, doubt, disbelief, and shit talking to their advantage. And once you figure this out,

once you figure out how to take everybody else's words, put them into action and shove them down their motherfucking throat, you will start to actually have gratitude for the times that people talk shit. All right. And I know that's hard to believe because you think it hurts and you think it's painful and you're like, fuck, I don't know if I can do it because so-and-so said that I couldn't do it. What the fuck has so-and-so done? They haven't done shit either. So are you going to sit there and listen to these people who have never done a motherfucking thing, tell you what's possible for you and sit on your couch because they don't believe in you? Or are you going to say, hey, that little pussy over there is talking shit and I'm going to show them what it actually looks like to take something and build something

and become something and create something. All right. That's the attitude. That is the difference. Winners have a fucking chip on their shoulder. Losers don't. So learn this right now. You are not being singled out.

It is not personal. You are not the only one with this hardship. You are not the only one that faces criticism. You are not the only one that faces doubt. You aren't the only one. It is a natural progression of going down the path that is outside the realm of normal for your peer group, all right? Every single successful person that you have ever dealt with or ever looked up to or ever admired has faced this exact same challenge. The only difference between them and you is that they understand how to leverage it and they are actually thankful for when people give them that energy. All right. So start to think of it this way. When someone talks shit, when someone doubts you, when someone says you can't do it, when

someone insults you or they laugh at you or they giggle at you, take that shit personal. Use it. Use it to get you off the couch. Use it to get you into motion. And I can promise you, if you can become one of these people who can take all the energy and use it for productive action, you cannot be fucking stopped. And when you become one of these people who cannot be fucking stopped, you are unlimited in your potential. So now that dream that you have, that vision that you have, that goal that you have in your mind for yourself, your family, and your life is literally impossible not to achieve. Okay?

You have to keep this vision in mind because there's going to be times where these people get you down. There's going to be times where it still hurts you. There's going to be times where it frustrates you and it makes you angry. And as long as you can keep that vision at the forefront of your mind and learn how to leverage the productive action, you will get where you want to go. And this is one of the biggest differences between people who win and people who lose. All right.

People who win take every bit of energy they have and they use it to propel them forward towards that vision that they have had and they use it to propel them forward towards that vision that they have had and developed and created for themselves. And people who lose hear this negativity and they let it crumble them. They let it paralyze them and they let it dilute the vision of what it is that they want to become. And what ends up happening for these people that lose, once they dilute that vision, they say, okay, well, I can't be that ideal version of myself, so I'm going to make a lesser version that is maybe more realistic. And then when people laugh at that version, then they reduce it even more. And then people laugh at that version, and then they reduce it even more.

And they keep reducing who it is they want to be, want to become, want to create for themselves back down to where they are currently. And then they tell everybody this story about, well, this is what I wanted for my life. So they go from having this grand vision and they consistently reduce it based upon what other people think about it until their vision fits their current present life. And then they pretend like they chose that life. That is the ultimate loser shit when it comes to your life, okay? Don't let these motherfuckers dilute your vision.

Don't let these people get you off track. Take every motherfucking word that they say to you and you use it to become that vision. There is no bigger fuck you than actually doing what it is you said you were going to do and then walking in the room and having everybody know

that they were fucking wrong. And you'll know that they know they were wrong because they'll look at the motherfucking floor the minute you walk in the room. We'll see you next time.