REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 714. Q&AF: Building The Ambition Skill, Dealing With Promotions And Demotions & Catching Yourself Slipping

Episode Date: May 25, 2024

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to build the skill of ambition, how to deal with a promotion where the previous supervisor was demoted, and the best way to course correct after you catch yourself slipping.

What is up guys, it's Andy Vercelin, this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, the delusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have a special Saturday Q and AF. We're going to get right into it. I'm not going to do the whole intro. You don't need that shit. All right. What's up, dude?

Hey. It's good to see you here on Saturday. It's good to see you. How was your weekend? What's up, man? Nothing much, man. Got some good ones for you. How was your weekend? What's up, man? Nothing much, man. Got some good ones for you, bro. Actually, I got one I'm actually really looking forward to.

I think you'll like it. What would you say if you didn't say I got some good ones for you? I mean, what else do you say? I feel like that phrase is just perfect because it's true and it has its swag and it's got swag it does have swag who awarded the swag to the phrase you you're not allowed to oh you're not allowed to award your own swag are you sure about that i don't know i'm pretty i feel like you avoid your own swag me yeah i'm captain swag right you captained yourself i didn't call me that. The internet did. Oh, the internet did.

Right, right, right. All right. Yeah. Captain Swaggy Pants. I got lots of names from the internet. Some are like fucking- I got some too. You too?

All right. Let's do this shit. Let's get these in, man. Guys. Say it. I got some good ones for you. All right. All right.

I got three good ones for you. All right. All right. I got three good ones for you. All right. I got some swag. All right. I'll give you one point of swag. I love when Vaughn tried to do it. Vaughn? Yeah.

Remember when he subbed in on the Q? Were you recording MFCEO? No, he subbed in on the Q and AF. Oh. I thought you were going to talk about how we got MFCEO dropping soon. No. I mean, we can't. Yeah.

Well, there it is. Shit. I'm actually really excited about that, man. that's gonna be fucking fire bro that's why we're doing it we're doing it because i've recognized that like the the fucking young people and the young people and we need this shit that the entire information space of entrepreneurs has been taken over by fucking morons who have never built fucking shit all right and when i was doing this content when i was doing mfceo people were very careful not to get into there because there was legitimate people teaching legitimate shit and because i stopped now there's this there's all these people talking about, oh, I made $5 million in fucking one week and all this shit.

And it has all these kids confused, bro. And then on top of it, they're going to college and they're not getting taught any skills. They're not being taught how to communicate with people or how to win or how to sell or how to manage or how to build or how to create. Dude, and they need it, dude. It's not that we don't have more people trying to win. That's not the problem. No, we have a lot of people sharing bad information. That's what it is, yeah.

And these guys who are young. Which makes it appear like there's nobody trying to win. Well, dude, these guys who are young don't have the perspective to know who's who. Yeah. It's very easy to convince someone who's 19, 20, 21, 22 years old of success when you got a fucking Huracan and they don't. Or you got whatever and they don't. And, dude, the thing is it's so easy to go out and put a front on about making money, but you can't fake real companies that you can order from. And you can't fake that shit.

And a lot of these guys that are out here, dude, there's just so much shit. I'm just excited to bring it because it's not just about the fucking bullshitters on the internet. It's also about the lack of community. It's the lack of fucking brotherhood. It's the lack of support. It's the lack of real information coming from the education system. I mean, dude, the difference between when I was in the education system and now, and it was shitty when I was in it, but now it's like they're teaching them to be dumber, right?

And there's all these kids that want to win and build companies and have success, and I'm just excited to get back. I feel like my personal—now, we're going to continue to do Real AF, just so we're clear, but I'm just excited because I think that's where I'm best excited to get back. I feel like my personal now. We're gonna continue to do real AF just so we're clear But I'm just excited cuz that's where I think that's where I'm best dude. I'm best with that kind of stuff Yeah, so I'm excited to get back the world needs it man. The world needs it. Well guys Andy. Let's get into these These cues. Yeah for these H's Joe likes my jokes. No, he doesn't.

He laughs because he feels sorry for you. Is that what it is, Joe? Yes. Joe, why don't you just tell me? That's what white people do. That's what... Yeah, you know that smile we do with girls like this? The white people smile. Mm-hmm.

I fucking hate that smile. But you know what's crazy? You know what that means? What? That means... Yeah. Get the fuck out. Bro, you know what's fucked up, though?

I found, since being around you... Oh, me? Well, that's okay. I found myself doing that smile, bro. Bro, you know what? Since being around you, I'm, like, stealing shit. What the fuck's that about? Oh, man.

I was wondering where my charger was. Motherfucker. Get the fuck out of here. This dude steals my charger every fucking day. I came in here today and it was here. I couldn't even believe it. Hey, you know what? I'm learning.

All right. You're learning to steal it and put it back. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, I've long had large dreams and ambitions in various aspects of my life, and I had no idea how to actually realize them. Having dreams and ambition without knowing how to realize them resulted in experiencing a lot of mental and emotional turmoil inside me. Every day, I've been doing the power list for a while now. I've completed 75 hard.

I've read your books. I cannot get enough of your podcast. Your teachings and examples have given me abilities to channel my energy day in and day out towards these dreams. I feel much more structured, integrated, calm. I'm now starting to love and appreciate myself. I'm forever grateful to you. I'm focused on taking the next steps forward. One sentence from your book on mental toughness, which keeps coming back to me, is on page 48. Being ambitious is a skill. My mind keeps bringing me bringing this up, which is a sign that there is a lesson here for me to learn.

You taught me that discipline and other aspects of mental toughness are skills. But what about ambition is a skill? Could you please elaborate on this? Yeah. So what we have to understand about ambition is that certain people have it naturally, and then a lot of people don't have it. So they feel like, oh, I just don't have it. But if you ask those people very simply, what do you want out of your life? What are you trying to achieve? They can't really tell you anything. And it's because they haven't projected their lives into the future, five, 10, 15 years, and thought about what it might be like. And because they've never done that, whether it be because their parents taught them to be just a cog in the machine or school didn't teach them to be

creative, we have a situation where people have a hard time developing ambition because if you don't have any dreams, hopes, or wishes for yourself, what do you have to be ambitious about? So when you're one of these people who doesn't actually have ambition, naturally, you have to start thinking, what is my life going to be like five years from now? What is my life going to be like 10 years from now? What is my life going to be like 20 years from now? And what is my life going to be like in those timeframes if I don't change? And what do I want for myself if I could get anything I wanted? And when you start thinking like that, you start to dream, you start to create, you start to want more for yourself, which helps drive the ambition internally.

All right. And we miss out on a lot of these things because right now in the way that we operate and how technology is, we spend so much time scrolling and so much time consuming that we actually don't have any time to be bored. And usually boredom is when people create in their mind, they think about what they want, which drives the ambitious nature within them that we all have as human beings. Look, humans have created the entire earth over 12,000 years. Everybody has ambition if they have something they're trying to achieve. But the problem with people who don't have it is that they just don't think about it.

They spend all their time trying to be entertained scrolling paying attention to other things and if you're paying attention to other things and you don't have time to think about what your life's going to be like then how can you have any ambition you're watching other people's ambition correct so we have to train ourselves to visualize ourselves and what we want out of our lives which will in turn drive the ambition from the inside out into the external world does that make sense it makes it so you have to practice this it's not something that just happens there are some people who are just wired to fucking go and win i am like that i've always been like that and a lot of you guys watch me and maybe other people like me and you say fuck how

come how come he has that and i don't have Well, because from a very early age, I was encouraged to dream and think and, and try to create what I wanted to be in my life. I was very lucky to have parents that encourage those things. All right. They, so from the time I was four or five, six, seven years old, I was like, man, I want to be this. I want to do that. I want to do this, which instilled the skill of ambition. So while you might read it as, oh, it's just a trait that he has. Well, I've been practicing that for a long time. So it's actually a skill that I've developed. So if you want to start developing the skill of ambition, start thinking about what you want out of your life. And then also on the counter,

think about what your life will be like if you don't change, which is a very powerful driver behind the ambitions that you create. Yeah. And ambition, would you say that, you know, if you're really trying to pursue real success, that this idea of needing motivation or inspiration should be replaced with this skill of ambition, right? Because like the ambition is the driving for it. Like that's what gets you on the pursuit, right? Because, like, the ambition is the driving force. Like, that's what gets you on the pursuit, right? Yeah, look, you got to know where you're going. You got to know what you want.

Most people put more time into going out with their friends and making plans for their vacation than they do their entire life. That doesn't make any sense. So what you have to do is you have to have a place that you're going, and then you have to have the ability to follow the plan, which is discipline, to execute the plan day in and day out day in and day out day in and day out to get to that place motivation is going to come and go there's going to be days where you're going to feel fucking amazing there's going to be days where you feel like you could

just get up and run through a wall and on those days you can but here's the thing on the days you don't feel like that you still can and that's where people miss you could still run through those walls when you don't feel like running through them and if you train yourself to be disciplined you're not going to miss the gaps that other people would miss because they can only operate when they're motivated yeah so you're able to go win after win after win after win after win where they're going win win three days breaks another two wins and if you just do the math you can see who's going to get where they want to go and who's going to get where they want to go faster i do i love this i love this this convo

on ambition i want to ask you this too so it's like you know when you talk about ambition like you know you got a young person here how important is it when you talk about knowing where you want to go? Right. But like, you have to want that so bad. And I think a lot of young people, the, the, the issue when it comes to like, you know, this conversation about ambition is that,

you know, in society, for whatever reason, people who seem to be obsessed with whether it's material goals or, you know, a number in the bank account. Right. It's always deemed as this like greedy or bad. So, like, how do you get over, you know, I guess, allowing yourself to be OK with one wanting success so bad and wanting that to drive that ambition to keep them motivated?

That's why I tell you guys all the time, if you listen to them, you'll be like them. And most people will shit on big goals. They will say, oh, you're materialistic. Oh, you're morally misaligned. Oh, I'm morally superior to you because I can get by with less. What the fuck are you talking about? That has nothing to do with being a good person. And by the way, you can do way more with resources for other people than you can without them. So all of this shit talk on success

is just bullshit propaganda that comes from people who wish they would have done something else, but chose not to. And because they chose not to, they don't like you thinking that way either, because they're afraid that if you go out and show them that it's possible, that they will believe that it was possible for them and they just shit their life away, all right? So we have to deal with this realistic attitude. Let's talk about what they teach at school. They tell you when you're in kindergarten, DJ, you could be anything you want. You could be president.

You could be a billionaire. You got to dream big. That's what they tell us in kindergarten, right? By the time we're in sixth grade, you need to start thinking about your future. You need to start thinking, you know, I realize you got big dreams, but you know, let's start to be realistic here. By the time you're a sophomore in high school, it's what's your major? What are you going to school for? Oh, I want to be president. And the caliber kids beating you up, throwing you in the locker. Okay. So over the course of time, we go as people from being told we can achieve greatness to being told by people who couldn't achieve greatness,

that we will never be great. And so when we think about it like that, it makes sense as to why people don't dream. And when people don't dream, they don't have ambition, which creates a scenario where they can't achieve anything. So we have to understand the dynamic. When we're young, we're told we could be anything, but because we have to go through life and be around motherfuckers that never did a goddamn thing in their entire life, some of that rubs off on us. And we have to be smart enough to look at them and say, I don't want that life. That's not the life I want. That's not how I want to live. That's not what I want to drive. That's not what I, that's not me. And we had to say, fuck that. And we have to decide that we're going to do something else and do that's very hard to do when it's your parents and your

friends and your network and your teachers, all these people you're supposed to trust. And because we trust them, we start to believe, well, you know, maybe those rich people are pieces of shit. Maybe it is an immoral thing to try and want more. Maybe it is a bad thing that I'm not meek and modest and, you know, shut my mouth. But, dude, when you're 60 years old, you're going to say, fuck, I wish I wasn't so meek and modest and kept my mouth shut because I'd have a lot more to show for my life. So if you understand how it happens, you can understand what to do about it. And what you need to do about it is stop listening to motherfuckers that don't have what you want. That's it.

I love it, man. I love it. Guys, Andy, question number two. Andy, I was recently promoted to department supervisor. The previous supervisor was demoted and is now working under me. He seems to be bitter about it, and I have a hard time motivating him. I'm sure his attitude is how he got to where he about it and i have a hard time motivating him i'm sure his attitude is how he got to where he is i'm not sorry i was hoping to get some advice on what you would do in

the situation thank you for everything you do so he so to understand you got promoted above someone that was your supervisor right and now you're his supervisor okay yeah that's a difficult situation a lot of times because most people don't have the maturity to recognize that the reason they are in the situation that they're in is because they did or didn't do certain things and whether you're in a good position or you're in a bad position you are in that position because of what you did or didn't do you're in the position because of what you did do he's in the position because of what he didn't do and because people can't admit that and they can't be honest and they can't accept responsibility for their lives, they usually get bitter about anything that passes them by. So you have an uphill battle with this person unless they are extremely emotionally intelligent

and quite honestly, just a realist, which they probably aren't so there's a couple ways to go about it one you get rid of them all right could do that um if the person doesn't do their job if they got a piss poor attitude if they're cancerous and they're talking shit i'd fucking fire them all right because they're not going to come back from that uh the second thing you could do is you could pull them aside and have a conversation and say, hey, Joe, I know this is fucking weird and I know that you're bitter about it, but here's the thing. I did this and this and this and this and this to get here. And while I was doing this and this and this and this and this, you weren't doing these things. And now we're in a situation where

the roles are reversed. And if you want to get back to the role that you were in, these are the things that you're going to have to do. And there's no hard feelings here, dude. I don't, I'm not better than you. This is just me. I was doing things that you weren't doing. And if you want, I'll help you get back to the point of where you were doing those things, but that's going to require your attitude being good and not being bitter and piss poor. I don't need that shit around. You're not happy with that shit around. So if that's the way it's going to be, then we might as well just part ways now. But I am totally with you if you want to get better.

I'll help you. I'll train you. I'll do whatever you got to do. But, you know, we got to change our attitude. And that's basically the two options there. I love that, man. I think people have a hard time. Like leadership is one of those things.

And, like, being around you, I've learned that, like, it's more simple than you than you think it is but leadership is i feel like it's one of those things a lot of people just overly complicate yeah the reason they over complicate it is because they don't want to lead the proper way most quote unquote leaders want to be a leader without doing the work of a leader so they don't want to live the standard they don't want to fucking do all the extra work. They don't want to hold a high standard for detail and make sure that they can do the job. They don't want to live that. They don't, they want to say they're the leader and then they want everybody else to do the work. And what people don't understand is being a leader is making sure that you do the work as good as everybody else and probably better than everyone else and that you help them get to that level. And the leader, so leadership when effective takes a lot of hard work and most people

just aren't invested in doing it. Uh, and that's why great leaders stand out. That's why great leaders get paid. That's why they have great careers because they're willing to be great at the things they're leading about. They're willing to keep those skills at a high level and they're willing to train the people around them to have those same skill sets. And great leaders are usually the people who during the time of leadership, the people that you're leading may not like you all the time,

but after they've moved on and they've progressed, they look back and they say, dude, I wouldn't be where I'm at without that. So, you know, it's not about making them like you today. It's about making them love you in five years. I love that, man. I love that. Guys, Andy, our third and final question.

This is one of my favorite ones I think we've gotten. I think you're going to like it too. So, guys, Andy, question number three. Andy, I just wrapped up my first year of college. I played D1 baseball at your favorite college. Hook them horns, baby. But about halfway through my second semester, I felt myself slipping. Grades, focus, and practices, our season didn't play out the best, et cetera.

I still finished the year decently and strong. But my question is, and I know this may sound crazy, but what do you do the moment you catch yourself slipping? I feel like I was doing good. And then out of nowhere, I wake up and I'm like, shit, I've been off. And what's the best way to maintain the highs and eliminate the lows? Bro, this is something that everybody struggles with. Okay. When things are a disarray and when things are in disorder and you've done well, you've built the skillset, you've performed at a high level and then things start going off course. All right. The first thing that you need to do is you need to go examine what

you did to get to that point in the first place. And the reason a lot of people can't do that is because those things seem basic to them once they're good. All right. So really this is, this question is really about hubris and ego. All right. So when you, if we imagine a growth curve, okay, a bell curve, and you're at the beginning of the bell curve down here at the very bottom, and you don't know shit about baseball. You don't know anything. You don't know how to hit a fucking baseball. This is 20 years ago for you. Okay okay you don't even know how to hit a ball off the tee so your dad or whoever puts the ball on the tee and says hit the ball you don't know shit you're like okay i fucking hit the ball all right that's the level of i am so open to

learning that i'll do whatever the coach says because i don't know anything right so over the over the years, you get better and better and better, and you move up the curve. And as you go up the curve, your skill set improves, your performance improves, things start getting good. And this is mirrored in people's careers as well. So they get to a pretty good space where they're earning big money or you're batting 400, you're first team all state, you're the best, right? And what happens is, is that all these little things that you learned along the way, all the little drills, all the little work ethic habits that you created, they start to fade out. And

what replaces them is the thoughts like this, dude, I'm really good. I'm fucking great at this. I'm one of the best at this okay now the prop that's a good thing like when you walk into a batter's box you better think you're the best you're gonna fucking suck we know this as athletes right but when it comes to actually improving ourselves and improving our skill set that that requires massive humility so when we get to the top of the curve where we have high skill and we start telling ourselves how good we are and we stop doing the things that got us there, we start to move down the other side of the curve, which means our performance is getting worse, worse,

worse, worse, worse. And then what eventually happens is you get to a point where it's rock bottom for you. That might be, I haven't gotten a hit in seven games. Okay. Or you had two good years where you batted 350 and now you batted 200 one year. And you're like, fuck, I lost it. No, you didn't lose it. You stopped doing what the fuck made you great, okay? And we have to detach ourselves from our own greatness

and understand that it's not us that's great. It's the things we do that made us great. And so you asked, how do you continue to get better? Always keep in mind that it is not you it is the actions you take that are producing the result and this is where humility comes in as a valuable trait a valuable quality a valuable core value to have as success okay a lot of people will say oh you're not humble because you drive a Ferrari I don't have anything to do with it. You are legitimately low IQ, dumb motherfucker.

You don't know what humility even means. What humility means is I know I'm not special. I know it's not me. I know I am the result of the actions I take. And I know that if that man standing over there took the same actions that I take, he would have a similar result. So we detach ourselves. It's not me. It's my training. It's not me. It's the work I'm putting in. Okay. And if we can detach ourselves from thinking it's us, we can continue to progress and get better and better and better. And this is why people like Jordan and like Kobe continue to

get better throughout their career because they understood what I'm talking about. Now, if you went and talked to Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant, you'd probably think, fuck, this guy's cocky as fuck. Well, yeah, but that doesn't change how they prepare and how they work. So you can afford to present yourself as great as long as you know in your heart and in your mind that you really ain't that great and it has to do with the work ethic that you have. See what I'm saying? Absolutely. So when you step in that batter's box or I go on that stage or into a board meeting or Michael Jordan goes on the court or whatever.

Bro, you better believe that you need to think you're the baddest motherfucker that ever fucking lived before you go and perform. But every other minute of the day, you're a beginner. I'm here to learn. I'm here to get better. I'm here to fucking work. And that's how it works. That's how humility plays into this. So if you want to continue to get better, stop thinking that you're not in control of your ups and downs. Start realizing that you are, and your ups and downs will be controlled by your ability to detach your own identity from your work ethic. And if you continue to do the work and you dedicate yourself to the work

and you do the work better than anyone, you will perform better than anyone and you won't have that slide down the backside of the curve. Okay, so you caught yourself slipping. So you go back, you analyze where exactly you kind of messed up at, right? And then so what do you do after that? I mean, what have you found to be the quickest way to get back on track? Yeah, dude.

All right. You're down on the other side of the curve. Right. Okay. You're starting to go down the curve. You're aware of it. You realize it. I'm slipping.

Right. What am I not doing now that I was doing that list those things out and start doing them. Yeah. Well, shit, I was going to study hall. Right. And I stopped going to study hall.

I was hitting BP. Right. I was hitting BP twice a day. Now I'm only doing once a day because I led the Big 12 in home runs. Right. Well, now you're 15th on Big 12 in home runs. Maybe you should go back to twice a day. You see what I'm saying?

Yeah. So we know what works, and sometimes we know what works so well that we forget that we know what works. Like for me in business, dude, I've been doing this 25 years. There is very obvious shit sometimes that goes wrong. And I've already been through it. And I'm like, this can't be that. And then it is that. You know what I'm saying? So we overcomplicate it because we think that the basic things lose value as our performance gets higher or our place in society goes higher in terms of our success.

When in reality, those little things are the things that allowed us to get there. I love this, man, because it's like, you know, getting there and staying there. Staying there is a totally different thing. Yeah. Because you're fighting your own ego. When you're making fucking $60 million a year, bro, do you think you want to continue to do the things that made you $60 million a year or do you think you want to fucking fuck off? Hit the beach in Coronas.

There you go. I love that, man. I love it. Well, hook them horns. Is that what they say? Yeah. That's longhorn, right? Yeah. Okay. That's fucking sweet, man. Sweet. Well, good luck next season, man. I love it. Well, hook them horns. Is that what they say? Yeah. That's longhorn, right? Yeah.

Okay. That's fucking sweet, man. Sweet. Well, good luck next season, man. Hope everything works out. Well, guys, that was three. All right, guys. Go pay the fee.

We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week.

We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week.

We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. We'll see you next week. Fuck a pole, fuck a stole Counted millions in a cold Bad bitch, booted swole

Got her on bankroll Can't fold, just a no Headshot, case closed