REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 717. Q&AF: The Success Lag, Retaining Customers Vs Handling New Ones & Tackling Crabs In A Bucket Mentality

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to deal with the lag phase when you don’t see any results even with work at full capacity, how to retain existing customers while bringing in new customers during the growth phase of your business, and how to be effective when everyone around you has a “crabs in a bucket” mentality.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, saying goodbye to the lies, the thickness, and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now, if you want your questions answered on the show, you can submit questions a couple different ways. The first way is, guys, email these questions in to askandy at andyfussella.com. Or you go on YouTube on the Q&AF episodes, drop your question in the comments comments and we'll get some from there as well.

As the week progresses, if this is your first time listening, we have shows within the show. Sometimes we have CTI. That'll be out tomorrow. That stands for Cruise the Internet. Tomorrow we have Attorney General Andrew Bailey. We have lots to talk about tomorrow.

But yeah, CTI is Cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics up on the screen. We speculate on what we think is true and what we think is not true. And then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times throughout the week, we're going to have Real Talk. Real Talk is just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you a real talk. Otherwise known as a healthy rant. Something that will benefit you.

Then we have 75 Hard Versus. 75 Hard Versus is where a person who has completed the 75 Hard program comes in, talks about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the Live Hard and 75 Hard program to transform their life. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard or Live Hard, it is the world's most popular mental transformation program. It is for free available at episode 208 on the audio feed only. There is a book available on my website, andyfrisella.com called The Book on Mental Toughness that describes the entire Live Hard program top to bottom. It also has 10 chapters on mental toughness, how to use it to benefit your life, and also some case studies from some very famous people

who use mental toughness to become those famous people. All right. Now, one thing you're going to notice is that we don't run ads on the show. I don't want to take direction from people because they're giving me money. So I don't do that. And in exchange, I ask very simply that you help us grow the show. All right. We're always dealing with censorship and shadow bands and traffic throttling. If we want the message to get out, we need your help. Okay. So I make a deal with you. I don't run ads. You share the show. All right. So don't be a hoe show. All right. Hey, what's up? What's going on, man? Nothing, dude. Notice anything different? Where, with you? Yeah.

No. Did your brain get smaller? No, man. Real shit. So what'd you do? Trim your beard? Yeah, I got lined up, man. Big boss.

Is that what you're talking about? Oh, yeah. Looks good. I thought you would notice. Well, I noticed because I saw you getting it trimmed in the barbershop when I walked by on the way to the studio. Yeah. Yeah. How did it look?

I mean, it looks good. Yeah? Yeah, but it's another one of your tricks that you're trying to pull on the listeners. What do you mean? Notice anything different? Yeah, I just saw you get your beard trimmed five seconds ago. It was actually this past weekend. What?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, right. No, you know what's funny, though, bro? it was it was actually this past weekend what oh yeah no but hey no you know what's funny though bro i was thinking about this because i got so i got my haircut i got my beard lined up bro those fucking chairs are heavy and i and i fucking hit the shit out of my shin yeah those like small little fucking like stub your toes type shit bro those are the worst i just bitched out in there completely yeah it still hurts bro you ever seen those dudes that uh like do martial arts like beat up their shins to try and toughen them up bro is that what they do for kickboxing that shit's crazy fuck that yeah i agree you ever seen the movie the accountant

with ben affleck no he does that in that. He rolls his shins out with a stick. Bro. It's hard to watch. The shins, I feel like, are the most sensitive part of the body. I think that's why they do that. Outside of the gooch. So they can kick you in the face and it doesn't hurt. Yeah, no, fuck that, man.

I'm hurting right now. That's why they make guns, bro. That's 100% what I mean. Yeah, so I don't have to kick you in the face. And I don't have to run shit up and down my shit guns equal muay thai the thing is is like all these dudes run around and they're like i'll fucking beat your ass we're not in a beat your ass phase of life anymore now like when you get into your 40s you're gonna shoot people in the face phase of life well i like i like violence i want to win you know i like it too but i'm i'm too old for that shit now

right like i want to win and not sweat you know what i'm saying like that's where i'm at so if you try to kick me with one of your tough shins grab me here i grab you there really i'm just a pussy it is what it is hey man it's all good good, man. We got a hell of a week, man, getting close to Summer Smash. Yeah. Summer Smash. Summer Smash, man. I saw the drink you got there. I have one, too.

I actually finished mine. But that American flag reminded me of something, man. We got a little special something this weekend, don't we? The red, white, and blue. You're talking about the secret? Yeah. That's top secret. Yeah, it just reminded me of it of how good we're gonna look at those that's true we are gonna look phenomenal now listen i feel like you're listen i'm the one that ordered them i need you to come through on this andy i'm the one that ordered him there's no bagging out on this bro i've been i've been

feeling like there's like some some some bagging out of this. What do I bag out of? I'm just saying. You haven't let me down yet. You're my boy, Blue. I'm just saying. You're the one that bags out. Why would I bag out? I tell you, if we're going to work out, you fucking show up for two days, and then where the fuck are you?

Just work out today. Yeah, those fucking... I don't bag out of shit, bro. That's why I'm jacked and tanned and juicy. All right. I got a fat wallet. Right. All right.

Well, let's make some people better today. Guys, Andy, I got some good ones for you. All right. Let's knock these out. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy. With the exclamation point. He's yelling at me.

He's yelling at you, man. Andy, my name is Nathan. You got to read how they type it. Andy, my name is Nathan. I'm 20 years old from South Louisiana. Oh, I should put an accent on this one. And I listen to Real AF every motherfucking morning. I've always been a hard worker since I was 15.

I had my own lawn care business going on. I've worked at restaurants. I've done side labor and anything else that can make me a dollar still to this day. In the past year, I've gone through the hardest time of my life with a lot of life-changing events that have been in short fucking hard. It feels like I'm just fucking up and I'm disappointing everyone trying to make everything work, keep everyone happy and maintain balance. I work two sales jobs, one Monday through Friday and the other Saturday and Sunday. I also, I'm also a full-time college student majoring in architecture. I feel like consistency may be the problem because I'm all over the place at times, balls to the wall. And there's other times where I feel like quitting, but I keep a smile on my face and keep going with my head up.

Can you give me any advice on how to keep the right mindset when I'm feeling down and maintain the balance that will not only benefit myself but everyone else around me i want to give the best version of myself to the people around me because i believe in hard work and can inspire others to be their best as well from a real ass listener keeping it motherfucking real nathan it's andy look man here's the deal first of all that was good yeah you like the accent was good that was that's almost trophy worthy oh that's close all right i don't know that anybody's got a trophy on q and a f oh yeah first black man do it it was close yeah all right so here's the deal man when you're pushing to be better, when you're trying to progress your life, when you're trying to improve your situation, it is always going to feel like a struggle. It's always going to feel extra hard and you're always going to feel like you're

fucking it up. That is the nature of what it feels like to push into new territory, to expand your personal boundaries. So what's happening to you, bro, is that you are out here hustling as hard as you can. You're doing these multiple jobs. You're trying to keep everybody happy and you're not used to it yet. You haven't acclimated to it yet, so it feels overwhelming, and you don't know if you're doing it right, and you probably haven't done it long enough for it to really bear fruit, so you're like, shit, I'm doing all this work. I'm trying hard.

This is so hard. This is chaos, and nothing's happening, so I must be doing it wrong, and that's not reality, okay? You have to understand, just like if you were gonna get into a cold swimming pool, when you first jump in there, it's cold. And you jump out of the water and you're like, oh, you can't breathe.

And then after a few minutes, it's normal. You don't even notice it, all right? And so what you're going through is the acclimation process to expanding the boundaries in your life. And it's completely normal to feel that way. Anybody who pushes hard to get better feels that way. And the reason that you don't know more people that feel that way is that because the minute

that it starts to feel the way that you're feeling, most people stop, all right? So it sounds to me, brother, like you're doing all the right things. You're young. You're hustling. You have your head on straight. You're working hard. And I think the most important thing is that you have to understand that it takes time.

All right. There's a very famous story about Chinese bamboo tree. All right. The Chinese bamboo tree has to be planted in the ground. And after it's planted in the ground, it has to get water. The soil has to be taken care of and it can't be disturbed. And for five years, for five years, it sits in the ground with no sign of growth, no sign of sprout. And then once it starts to sprout, it grows 60 to 80 feet in eight weeks. All right. So this is the same thing that happens with your life.

When you start to work to improve it, when you start to try and improve your career, your mental toughness, your skill set, everything that you're about, your life in general, it feels very discouraging because you're pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing, and nothing is happening. But that's because you don't have the right perspective about how things happen. And if you think about success, and you should think about it like this.

Think if you took a hockey stick and you laid it on the ground with the handle being the long part and then the blade pointing up at the sky. The handle being the long part is what it takes and how much work you have to do. And that is very long. And once you get to where you start to see results, the results go up very, very quick. And that is the same way that your success is going to work. It's the same way your life is going to work. And you just have to

understand this is the way it is and you're gonna have to bear through it and eventually you'll acclimate to it and all these things to feel like you're not in balance or you're not doing it right will go away and it'll just feel normal and you'll actually discover that you're really not even pushing that hard and then if you're ambitious enough you'll even push harder than that so that's what you're dealing with, dude. I don't think it's abnormal at all. I think it's totally normal.

And you guys just have to keep in mind when you're pushing to be better, when you're progressing to be better, it is always going to feel like a struggle. It's always going to feel like you are not winning when in fact you actually are. I love that. I want to address something here because I feel like, I mean, this is something I've been through personally. I'm sure a lot of other young people out there have, are going through this as well. Um, but this idea, you know, when you're, when you're trying to do good shit in your life, right, you're young, you're ambitious, you have that drive, you want to fucking win, you want to do great things. I feel like there's this, there's, there's this like, like cloud over you. Um, like he describes it, this need to kind of make everybody else happy.

I've heard you say before, you have this saying where you have to be selfless to be selfish. You have to be selfish to be selfless. To be selfless, right? And I feel like there is a time period that the focus has to kind of be on you. Has to. Before you can really appreciate and be valuable to other people. How do you how do you how do we navigate that as a young person who's 20 years old how do we navigate that and get that cloud away from us as far as

that feeling that we have to. Well that that's that is your own insecurities and your own misunderstanding of the process that's making you feel that way coupled with the comments and the outside pressure that you might feel from your friends and your family for changing up the way that you operate. And it's usually a combination of both of those. But what you have to realize is that there's a reason why when you're on an airplane, they say, hey, put your mask on first and then help people next to you. All right. because if you're not the best version of yourself if you don't have your mind right if you don't have your body right if you don't have your money right if you don't have your spirituality right if you don't have your character right and you're trying

to help other people you're gonna be ineffective all right so we have to take care of ourselves we have to build ourselves up into the best possible us and we have to have our shit together in the best possible way in order to actually benefit other people. And people will cop out of this. You know, you'll hear people say, well, you know, I feed the homeless. I go down there on Thanksgiving and on Christmas and make meals. Yeah, but you know, someone who has all that other shit together, they're building entire kitchens for people. You see what i'm saying so the the scale at which you can cause benefit to other people is in proportion to the scale of which the quality

of human and the skilled human that you become so you have to become that before you can effectively help people at scale does that make sense 100 percent man i think about like in my life like how many opportunities i missed or things I said no to because I'm trying to do this for family or I'm trying to do this for friends or whatever, just to keep everybody else. And you get put on the back burner. And a lot of shit gets put on the back burner. Yeah, bro.

And that's not good because what happens is people get into a cycle where they can't get out of that. They end up neglecting themselves and neglecting their career or their fitness or their health or their minds or their sanity or their own dreams because they are worried about like maintaining the balance. Bro, balance is a fake thing. It's not real.

And by the way, the last time I checked, there was no fucking award for balance. No one comes and writes you a check for how balanced you are. No one comes and builds you a house for how balanced you are. No one comes and builds you a house for how balanced you are. No one comes and gives you a nice life for how balanced you are. That's not what the fucking game is. The game is, are you effective?

Are you skilled? Do you produce results? That's the game. So we could talk about balance and it sounds nice, but the reality is to actually win in real life, balance has to be a second or third thought on the plate behind being effective in producing results and building ourselves into the best possible us. So yeah, your friends who don't do shit, they'll talk about balance all day. But what do they have?

You see what I'm saying? Balance doesn't equal success. It just doesn't. Imbalance equals success. And your ability to feel peace is going to come down to your ability to be comfortable in chaos. All right? If you're not comfortable in chaos, you're never going to be peaceful if you're an ambitious human. That's just reality. I love it, man.

I love it. Guys, Andy, question number two. I got a little business question for you, Andy. From a young gun here. Andy, I'm a 22-year-old that's been chasing my dreams of real deal entrepreneurship since I was 16. I'm two years in my brick and mortar store. All right. I have a team of five people.

My business is in tech repair. Okay. So he says, think geek squad, but mom and pop, and we are actually fucking cool. My company's foundation is a subscription service where for a monthly fee, any electronics in your home, we service. It's not cheap, but we've built a solid base. My question to you is, how did you handle the balance of servicing new customers and maintaining those relationships with your existing customers while building and cultivating new ones. Who gets the attention? How did you manage both? I feel like we're about to enter a nice growth phase because Best Buy just closed down in our

town, which means a massive pool of people to get. I just don't want to forget about those who helped us get here. Well, that's a very valid concern, all right? Because the people that you've already taken care of, that you've. Because the people that you've already taken care of, that you've already invested in, that you've already spent money to acquire, that you've already serviced, those are the people that are going to spread the word about your services. So instead of looking at them as customers you already have, you should look at them as advocates of your brand. Okay. You have advocates of your brand and then you have people who've never heard of your brand. Now, if you have advocates of your brand and people who've never heard of your brand,

the discussion shouldn't be which is more important because they're both important. That'd be like saying what's more important on a car, your tires or the gas? Right. You need both. Right. All right? So what you need to do is you need to culturally, with your five team members, you need to set a standard where each of those people are respected equally and the attention that you give them is equal.

And at top level, okay, there's no sacrifice here. The way you pose the question is basically, where do I take from to give? And that's not how business works. You have to give 100 to every area. So you can't afford to lose the connection and the brand equity that you've built with your existing customer base in order to get new customers. Because if you do that, those people will just spread the word that you're shit. Yeah, once he gets you, he fucks you. So you have to figure out a way to culturally get your team aligned to where they

understand that both of these things are important and so a hundred percent attention should be given to the people you already have servicing them making a great experience making sure that they are well taken care of with the idea that you are going to solve their problems and for solving their problems in such an effective way they're likely going to tell their friends, hey, I'm going over here. These guys do this. They're awesome. They handle it.

They take care of me. I love these guys. And they spread the word. You get a lot of free marketing there, right? And then off that free marketing, the new people come in. And by the way, you have to uphold that standard because the standard that those current customers

are spreading is very good. So if you get the new ones that are in and you don't hold that standard that they're spreading, they're ultimately let down, which is the catch-22 of having a great experience. When you do a great experience and your brand is built around great experiences, you have to understand that when those people start to tell that story, you have to uphold that deal for the people that come in because they've already been prefaced with how great you are right their expectations yes like it's like going to the movies right like if someone tells you oh you got to see this movie it's so awesome your expectation for the

movie is very high if you go in and watch the movie and it sucks it's actually like way more sucky than it would have been had you not been prefaced with how great it was going to be so your ability to uphold that standard with a new customer is fucking ridiculously important. So it's not either or, it's both. And you have to figure out how to get your whole team to subscribe to that mentality. It's not either or, it's both. And the way you posed the question was, it's either or.

And you need to be careful because that's probably coming from your team. Your team is probably saying shit like this. Well, we can't do this because we're doing all this and we can't do that because we're doing all that well hey I got news for you motherfuckers we got to do both otherwise the machine don't work all right so if you want your business to work and you want the word of mouth to spread which is the most effective way to market you have to do both at the highest level there is no this or that it is both i love

that man was that was that uh was that a easy thing for you to put in like you know like building when you were building the first one was that well it's easy in concept to understand it sounds simple yeah it's very simple but it's it's hard to execute until you get all the people aligned with that with that understanding right like, I understood it right away, but how do I get 20 other people to execute that when they think, oh, it's this or that? So that's why I was putting stress on the cultural element here

where we have to get the whole team to understand one thing begets another thing, which begets more business, which ties into your career and how much you earn and how much we're going to grow. So you have to tie this all together for everybody to make them understand. We got to have tires if we want the car to run. And not only do we have to have tires, we have to have gas, right?

And you have to explain that to them. Got to have this. Got to have that. When we have those two things, this is what happens. This is what happens to you. And you have to tie it back into how it's important to them. And then, you know, all of a sudden, things won't be this or that anymore because they'll understand how the dots connect. I love it.

I love it, man. Guys, Andy, question number three. Andy. Andy, for most of my life, I've been surrounded by crabs in a bucket. Anytime I've had an idea, it was thrown down and things, of course, never came into fruition. I'm now 22. I moved across the country from Pennsylvania to Arizona. I removed myself from that environment. And now I just don't know what exactly to do. How can I develop a growth mindset? How do I dream? How do I get started? I feel like

I'm starting over when it comes to pursuing my own dreams. I just don't know where to start because everything was thrown down before. Any insight on this? Well, I mean, look, man, it's your life. You got to make a decision about what it is you want. Most people don't get anywhere because they never make a decision about who they want to become. They live in the moment and then they think they'll figure it out later and figuring out later comes 5, 10, 15, 20, 40 years later and then you don't have any more time.

So I would encourage you to really think about who you want to be, what you want your life to be like, who you want to be surrounded by and then work a plan backwards from that. You know, how do you dream? Bro, it's very simple. If you knew that there weren't any limits for you in your life, what the fuck would you do? What would your life look like? Who would you be friends with? What kind of spouse

would you have? What kind of lifestyle would you lead? What kind of house would you live in? What kind of car would you drive? What kind of money would you make? Like it's, it's like going shopping. I want a little bit of that. I want some of this. I want some of that. I want some of this. No limits, okay? Because there are none. And if you make that version of yourself in your head and you actually take time to design it, then it's as simple as reverse engineering it backwards to where you're able to execute on a day-by-day basis. This isn't magic. It's not rocket science. It is deciding what you want, working backwards from what you want to where you are, and then moving forwards with your actions day-by-day

to make this vision a reality five, 10, 15 years down the road, all right? And if people just understood that it was that simple and it's not this magical thing, it's not luck, it's not this magical thing, it's not luck, it's not mystical, you know, we have a lot more successful people because the reality is society wants you to believe that you have limits and that, you know, you can't really do anything. And, you know, you can't really become that because only so many people become that. Well,

fuck, why not you? Why, why not you? Why, why what what excludes you from that you know and we we learn this because when we're young you know our parents if we have decent ones will tell us you know hey you could be whatever you want you could be anything you decide to be and then as we get older we have people that come into our lives people people at school, teachers, aunts, uncles, quote unquote friends that tell you things like, you know, you need to be more realistic. You know, you need to, you need to stop dreaming so much. Well, that's the shit they told me too. And here the fuck I am. Okay. I just chose not to listen to them. And that's what I would encourage anybody to do. I would encourage anybody to decide who they want to be, reverse engineer it, start moving forward

with those actions and fuck what everybody else says about it. And even if you don't get to exactly where you want to be, you're going to get somewhat there and your life's going to be tremendously better than what it is now. And it's very simple. There's no magic. There's no, there's no set of special talents you have to have. Like it's just deciding what you want, figuring out what it's going to take to get it and then running, running the fucking play. It's so simple, dude,

that people think it's not simple. Like, and the reason that people want to believe that there's more to it than that, because if it was that simple and all they had to do was that, that means they would have to work very hard and they don't want to admit that to themselves. They don't want to stop and say, yeah, man, you know, fuck, I really could have become this had I decided to commit to it and do everything required to do that. They're just

not willing to do that. So people choose to believe in luck and circumstances and happenstance and, you know, the right place at the right time, which yes, there are little instances in life where it's going to look like luck or it's going to look like you're in the right place at the right time, which yes, there are little instances in life where it's going to look like luck or it's going to look like you're in the right place at the right time. But how did you get in the right place at the right time? Did you get in the right place at the right time? Cause you were sitting on your couch for the last 10 years watching fucking Netflix because I don't think anybody in the world ever was in the right place at the right time without taking forward action. Right? How about the guy that gets lucky? Did he get lucky because he's, you know, fucking playing video games?

No, he got lucky because he was taking forward action. He happened to be somewhere. Somebody saw something in him or something happened and he would just happen to be there. And those things do happen, but you have to be moving forward for them to happen, all right? And this idea that, you know, people like to point at the fucking vast minority of experiences

as the excuse as to why they're not doing anything. Right. They like to say, oh, well, that guy's parents were rich or that guy did this or that. Bro, that circumstance is like 0.000 one of the success that you see in the world All right, so you're going to take this extreme circumstance of someone who was happenstance or Lucky or in the right place at the right time and you're going to make that the reason that you can't fucking do anything

That's bullshit. The truth of the matter is it takes a long time. It takes a lot of work and most people don't want to do that. That's, that's the truth. So they'll make excuses around everything that they can to avoid them having to address the truth, which is I'm just not willing to do the work. And here's the cool thing. If you were just able to admit to yourself, I'm just not willing to do the work. You're going to have a lot more peaceful life because here's where people ruin themselves. They fucking think they have all these goals and dreams. They think they have this ambition. They want all this shit, but they don't want to do the work,

but they continue to show up and like listen to this podcast or go to seminars or buy courses. When in reality, dude, all they're looking for is the secret. And the secret is very simple. Decide what you want, reverse in reality, dude, all they're looking for is the secret. And the secret is very simple. Decide what you want, reverse engineer it, win every single day and move forward until you create it. And that's the secret. But people don't like that. They don't like that because it's hard. It takes time. It's frustrating. But the reward that you get from it is more than just the thing you're trying to create. You become highly skilled, highly knowledgeable, highly experienced.

Your perspective on the world changes. You become a much more fulfilled human being, a much richer in knowledge human being, a wise human being. This is the path of a fulfilling existence. And because people think of it as money, cars, and houses, and quote unquote success, as opposed to what they gain in addition to that, which is actually the prize, they just ignore it. And they say, well, fuck man, I got screwed.

I tried that, it didn't work. That guy was rich when he started, so it is what it is. You know what I'm saying? 08.10 It must be nice. Yeah, right. It must be nice. Yeah, it must be nice, bro. I've worked every single day of my life for 25 years. Hard as fuck. You're goddamn right. It's nice. It's fucking really nice. It's really nice to go to my nice house. It's really

nice to fucking go wherever I want on a private jet. It's really nice to come here to this amazing company with these amazing people every day. It's really nice to drive some of the coolest cars in the fucking world. It's nice. And it's fucking worth it too. So I would highly recommend that you decide what the fuck you want, reverse engineer it, and start moving towards it.

Because when you get there and you're at that place, you're not only gonna be living the life that you want, but you're gonna have all this knowledge, all these skills that's gonna allow you to help other people live the life that they want. And ultimately, that's what creates an awesome society. We have high-level people who are achieving at a high level,

who are encouraging people, teaching people, pulling people along, and that's what we're missing in America anyway. So you have an obligation to go out and figure out what the fuck it is you want and go achieve it because when people see you achieve it, then they understand that it's possible. And that's how we change the culture from this bullshit we have to what we need and what this country's supposed to be about so um figure it out man yeah i think i think the good the cool thing here man is like i see these questions all the time that come in

it's like people are so they can't get over the negativity that surrounds them and it sounds like you have already made a massive step for sure just getting the fuck out of that environment man like so now you got a blank check you can write yeah but you don't have to get out of the environment like that dude like you don't have to move across the country you just have to stop giving a fuck and you got to look at motherfuckers when they look man this is like high school okay these people are losers they're sitting at the cool kids table right now. And they look at you and they say, what the fuck are you doing? Why are you doing that? Blah, blah, blah. And they think they're really cool. But I can promise you, when you go out and you build what it is that you say you're going to build, and those motherfuckers doing the same

thing that they were doing 15 years ago, they're not cool anymore. And you'll be cool. All right. Cool is doing what the fuck you need to do for you. Cool is being authentic to you. Cool is creating the life that you want. That's cool. Cool is not sitting in the old neighborhood at the old pub and trying to put pressure on people. Be like, oh, you've changed. You're not a loyal friend. Remember where you came from, bro? Those people are fucking losers. And they're always going to be fucking sitting there saying the same thing, doing the same thing. I can promise you, if you could zoom ahead 20 years from now, you wouldn't give a fuck what they were saying. That's the truth.

You would look at them like you look at the fucking dumbass at the gas station who's buying a 12-pack at 9 a.m. to waste this whole fucking day. And he's telling you life advice. You know what I'm like you'd be like yeah okay bro like you have to learn who to listen to and who not to listen to and it's if you want to remove yourself from that environment it's really simple start seeing those people as they're going to be 20 years from now when you talk to them now all right like when i look at people like that i don't i'm not around people like that anymore but like when i used to be around people like that you know what i did i looked at him and i visualized him 20 years from now and then and then i wouldn't listen to him i'd be like well that's that's a clown you know what i'm saying like go to a bar

bro and look at the people who are like in their 40s and 50s and 60s that are sitting at the bar fucking drinking would you listen to those guys in my life i wouldn't you know what i'm saying i might listen to how not how to how to not fuck up my life because of listening to their fuck-ups but you know and it's funny because those are always the people that think they have the best advice you know it's like all the broke people that try to tell people who are rich how to spend their money and shit. Like anytime we ever have a clip go viral and we get all these comments, and I'm talking about money or making money in this, and it's always broke motherfuckers in the comments saying all this,

you should be doing this. This is the right way to do it. Well, if that's the case, why the fuck are you broke and why am I not? Why are you not doing it? That's what I'm saying. Why the fuck are you broken? Why am I not? Why are you not doing it? That's what I'm saying. Why the fuck are you fucking you? And I'm me, right? You know? So like these people lack because they're at, in their world, they're at the top, they're at the center of their universe. So they think they know shit, but they don't know shit. And if they were to

objectively look at their reality and look at their bank account and look at their house and look at their fitness and look at their spouse and look at their life, they would come to an understanding pretty quick that they fucked up. The problem is they don't even know a single successful person to compare themselves to. They don't know how good it could be. So they think they're the shit and they're telling you all this shit

when they don't know anything. And that's where we get in trouble. We listen to people that we shouldn't listen to. So like if you don't want, and I say this all the time, if you do not want their life, you should not listen to them. If you want their life, those are the people to listen to. And I'm not just talking about part of their life. I'm talking about their whole life. Just because someone has a nice car doesn't mean you should

listen to them. Just because someone has a decent house doesn't mean you should listen to them. Take inventory of their entire existence. What are they about? What's their character like? How do they live? What are they creating? What kind of person are they? How do they treat people? If you find someone that you want to be like, that's the person to emulate,

not just because they have part of it. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, 100%. 100%. There's a lot of people out there on the internet that fucking sell bullshit, and they got a couple nice cars, and they're trying to tell you how to do shit. They don't know shit bullshit and they got a couple nice cars and you know

they're trying to tell you how to do they don't know shit either because they're scamming their way to fucking this fake show that's not even real like those motherfuckers real talk they couldn't run a they i they couldn't run one of my retail stores for a fucking day for a single fucking day or they're complete douchebags hold on you couldn't run you mother this motherfucker could not run a single fucking day of one of my retail stores and you're buying their coaching don't make sense no it doesn't make sense don't make sense man you guys got to be start being smart dude and look at everything about these people what business they create how they make their money where are their customers where's their headquarters where's their employees what do their people? Where are their customers? Where's their headquarters?

Where's their employees? What do their people say? What do their customers say? Can you order their product? What do they actually do? Do they actually do this or are they lying? Do they actually build that or are they full of shit? Do they have one of these secret nobody knows about companies

or do they have a company everybody knows about? You see what I'm saying? Like, why do all these little entrepreneurs on the internet have all these companies no one's ever fucking heard about? Where the fuck are, is this like, you got them in the metaverse? That's where they are. Then where the fuck are they? You got to put the guy right there.

Are they behind the curtain? Oh, you can't disclose to me what companies you own? Right. See what I'm saying? Those are red flags, bro. You guys got to get smarter than that. That's real shit, man. You want a little special sauce?

Yeah, we can do one more. Yeah, I got one more for you Guys, Andy Question number four Andy I find myself often I feel over analyzing myself I feel like I walk through

Looking at myself through a microscope Every day Constantly battling whether I did enough, if I'm doing enough, how I did, where I messed up, how what I did was perceived to other people, et cetera. What would you say is the safe and sane way to reflect on oneself? How do you do it? What have you found works and doesn't work? More importantly, how do you remain unemotional about it? Self-reflection. And let's talk about it.

Yeah. Look, dude, the greatest people, whatever they do, are tremendously particular and critical of their actions. And I'm not just talking about on a daily basis. I'm talking about every action they take. And the one thing that they do that I have found that all of them do is that they all self-assess the conversations, the way they treat people, the emails they sent. They literally coach themselves to be better around every action they take. So let's say they sent an email or they had a phone call, right? They hang up the phone call and they'll say, okay, what did I do there? Did I do this?

I should have said that. Did I do this? I could have said that. All right. And they don't beat themselves up over it. You don't like say, oh, fuck, I fucked up. I'm a piece of shit. No, because we know we're going to have a gazillion more opportunities.

So you have to let go of the idea that this is your last opportunity or that you fucked this up. Okay. You fucked it up. Good. What'd you learn? Don't do that again. Right? So it's your perspective about looking at the analyzation in the right way. It's not attacking yourself or tearing yourself down. It's just objective coaching as if you were not you and you were standing next to you and you were to coach you, what would you say? Okay, you could do this better. You could do that better. You could do this better. But after you figure it out, you let it go, bro. You don't let that shit stick to you because if you let that shit stick to you, you get in a place of

over-analyzation, which drives tremendous amounts of anxiety, stress, and pressure, which actually keeps people from ever becoming great at what they do because they feel all this pressure. They make it seem like this is the only chance I'm ever going to have and I can't fuck it up. And what happens? They fuck it up and then they get really emotional about it. All right. And then that emotion carries into the next chance they get. So it becomes this snowball of negativity that they can't break out of. All right. So you have to look at it very simply. What I do right, what I do wrong. Okay. This is what I did wrong. I need to do this better next time. I'm going to do it better next time. And you move on.

And every single person who's ever achieved greatness at anything, they know how to self assess. They know how to self coach. And most importantly, they know how to let it go and move on. Pro athletes don't carry the weight of a bad game into the next game they all understand that they are competing at such a high level that if they carry the weight of the last game into the next game they're going to fucking lose because the other guys are that good and that's how you have to look at your life too your life there's too many other people competing for the life that you want to carry the weight of the mistakes that you've made into the future opportunities. So you have to learn to let it go, dude.

And when you learn to let it go and you learn to just accept who it is you are and accept yourself for, you know, the experience level that's appropriate for you, which is probably not very experienced, it becomes easy to let it go. And you just keep learning, keep moving forward. You know, I think that's another part that we could add to this, like the proper amount of humility. How many times have you done this? How many times have you been doing, how long have you been doing what you do?

You're not a fucking expert, you're not the greatest of all time, of course you're gonna make mistakes. That's the process of learning and improving and getting better. So to think that you don't have and getting better. So to think that you don't have to fuck up or to think that you are too good to fuck up and letting that tear you up, that's actually arrogance because you believe that you're much better than you actually are.

So mix these two things together. Make yourself humble. All right. Realize you're going to make a lot of mistakes. That's just what's going to happen and then on top of it when you do make mistakes don't make them again and realize that every conversation every interaction every action every reaction all it is is a lesson for the next opportunity and if you look at it like that and you understand that you can't carry the weight of the fuck up into the next opportunity You're not gonna have a problem with it, dude And I understand how you can get make this a problem, but it comes from not understanding how the game works This isn't your only opportunity these you know

This comes also from the idea like we see this on the internet, right? Like people think they're gonna get one person to collab with them or they're gonna meet one person and that one Interaction is gonna make them a billionaire and shit that's not how it works man there's there's no one action that makes anybody there's no one fuck up that destroys everybody like we have to let go we have to give ourselves grace and we have to give ourselves room to learn the lesson because how the fuck are we going to learn if we don't fuck shit up yeah you're saying it's compounding good or bad. Yeah. It compounds over.

Yeah, of course. I love that, man. I think that's interesting too, bro. Because like I've been with you for five years and I've, I've seen you,

I see you do this all the time with anything you're doing, whether it's a fucking talk you're doing, it's always, you're always very reflective of it. You know what I'm saying? Good or bad. And like, I think that like,

that's something I've definitely noticed. Not just with you. I mean, other people, Ed does it too. He does it a lot. Well, dude, the cool, here's noticed. Not just with you. I mean, other people. Ed does it too. He does it a lot, man. Well, dude, here's the cool thing. When you get in that circle of friends that's appropriate to the level that you're at,

where they have the same goals, the same dreams, they're working at the same work ethic. Like, you know, for me, it would be guys like Ed or Alex, right? Dude, we'll coach each other. Like, Ed will say, like, hey, what do you think? And I'll be like, well, here's what I think, blah, blah, blah. What do you think of that? And he'll say like hey what do you think and i'll be like well here here's what i think blah blah blah what do you think of that and he'll say yeah i think so you know or like you know alex and i do that ed and i do that like you'll you'll you'll you'll start to get around these friends this goes back to the last question about getting away from people

right the you want to build this group of friends that'll help you coach yourself without tearing you down, right? We can't be our own worst critics. You're fucking right, bro. We usually are. If you're a high achiever, you definitely are. Yeah. That's a hard thing to battle.

Do you think Kobe Bryant got out of bed at 3 a.m. because he thought he was the fucking greatest? No. He got out of bed at 3 a.m. because he looked at the shots he missed the game before. He's like, I'm not fucking missing those shots again. Yeah. Yeah, that's real shit, man.

That's real. I love it. I love it, man. Well, guys, that was not fucking missing those shots again. Yeah. Yeah, that's real shit, man. That's real. I love it. I love it, man. Well, guys, that was a little special sauce. Yeah. That's what it's for. Yeah. All right, guys.

CTI tomorrow. Special one. Make sure you tune in. Let's finish the week strong. I'll see you later. Now my jewelry box froze Fuck a bowl, fuck a stole Counted millions in a cold Bad bitch, booted swole Got her on bankroll, can't fold That's a no, headshot, case closed