REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 719. Q&AF: Navigating No Man’s Land, Getting Prepared For The Real World & Networking Without Alcohol

Episode Date: June 3, 2024

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on recognizing and effectively navigating No Man’s Land on your path to success, how to best prepare for the real world as a young teenager, and how to network without being pressured to drink alcohol in social situations.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today We have Q and AF We always start the week off with a little personal development how to win how to kick ass how to be better human beings And this week is no different. So if you want your questions answered on the show, you could do so a couple different ways you can Email your questions in to ask Andy andyfrasella.com or you go on YouTube

in the comment section on the Q&A episode ask your questions in there. Throughout the week we're going to have shows within the show. Tomorrow you're going to hear CTI that stands for Cruise the Internet.

This is where we put topics on the screen. We talk about what's going on in the world. We speculate on what's true and what's not true. And then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on the screen. We talk about what's going on in the world. We speculate on what's true and what's not true. And then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in society. Other times, we're going to have real talk.

Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. That's just some shit that I think you need to hear. And then we have 75 hard verses occasionally. All right, 75 hard verses is where people who have completed the 75 hard program. Come on. They talk about how their life was in disarray before and how they used it to take back control of their life and become a much better person. If you're unfamiliar with the

75 hard program, you can go to episode 208 and get it for free. Live Hard and the 75 Hard Program are the world's most popular in history mental transformation programs and they are free. Audio feed only, not on YouTube. There is a book available on my website, andyfurcella.com that you can get. It's called The Book on Mental Toughness. We just got some back in stock. It's usually out of stock. So if you want that book, you can go get it. You don't need to get it. It has the entire Live Hard program, plus 10 chapters on mental toughness, plus some case studies on some very famous people that have used mental toughness to become the very famous people that you know. But you can get the whole program for free on my podcast, Audio Only, episode 208.

We don't do ads on the show, all right? That's something that we don't do here. And in exchange for that, we have what we call the fee. The fee is very simple. It means share the show. The reason I don't do ads is because I don't want to listen to some company bitch to me about what I'm saying or what I'm not saying. I want the integrity of the show to be what I think, what DJ thinks, what our guests think without you guys having to wonder if we're

being told what to say or not to say. So we don't do that here. And in exchange, I need you to help us share the messaging. We're constantly dealing with censorship, shadow bans, traffic throttling, episode removal, account removal. For us to get the message out, I need your guys' help. So when we say pay the fee, that's what it means. So don't be a hoe. Show the show. All right. Hey.

What's up, dude? What's going on with you, man? Nothing. I've been seeing some purple cans around here. Yeah. I told you, dude. My nigger. That's what I'm talking about.

I told you. I got you i haven't even tried i haven't tried the official one yet i haven't tried it listen you got me bro i handled that one myself i appreciate that bro no one in here is more qualified to handle grape flavor than me i don't agree with that besides maybe you besides me but yeah like outside of me i don't count yeah yeah i worked real hard on that and so did the team yeah man people just for you hey man listen bro hey you a real one bro that's right now you gotta go make the cream soda for me that's what we're working on this week i'll make some cream soda for you yeah that sounded a little bit weird i i don't know if i want that kind of cream soda bro

i meant the energy drink Not the weird shit you do on the weekend Might make you sleepy Yeah let's make it more Weird No man all is good man We got a good weekend looking forward to Should be some good time today tomorrow man

And by this time Monday man We, we'll be running full steam. This is Monday. Don't start that shit, Andy. Don't you even start that shit. How's your weekend, Andy? No, man, but look, man, I got three good ones for you. All right. Let's get after it.

Let's get better this week. Let's make some people better. Guys, Andy, question number one. Hi, Andy and team. My name is Anthony. I'm 29 years old, and I've transformed my life because of 75 Heart in all facets, mentally and physically. I'm a public servant, firefighter in a large city in Arizona, and I find myself getting let down by people in regular relationships on a day-to-day basis and in building new ones. I get to a point where I understand that they're not about being

real as fuck. My question is, how do you navigate having high expectations for people and always getting let down, but keeping a positive mindset for future relationships. Thanks for the help. Every single show, I'm not a hoe. I appreciate it all. Well, hey, man. I think that's a great question. You know, here's the thing that we have to understand.

When we go out and we try to get better and we try to improve and we raise our personal standards, we are elevating ourselves into a place where there are just less people available that share that standard. All right. Higher standards equal fewer people to connect with. So what you're experiencing is you've raised your standards. You've decided to be a better person. You've decided that you were going to pursue excellence. You've decided that you're going to get the most out of your potential. And now because you've decided that and're going to get the most out of your potential. And now because you've decided that and you've committed to it, you're looking around at everybody else and you're noticing that they don't do that. And when you were one of them, you didn't notice it because that's just what we did. So now that you've committed to being better,

it stands out and it becomes very obvious. All right? So that's a challenge because most people are going to continue to live the way that you always lived before you became who it is that you are now. And that can be very frustrating because we spend time alone. But here's the thing. People often say things like, oh, it's lonely at the top or I can't find anybody to relate to.

That's not the truth. The truth of the matter is, is that you're in between phases. Okay. When you started out on 75 hard and you said, man, I want to get more out of my life. I want to improve. I want to get better. Everybody else around you was doing the same things that you've been doing. And now that you've elevated, you have moved on past that group and you have started to progress down the path and you just haven't connected with the next group of people that are going to share your mindset, share your drive and goals for yourself. You haven't gotten that network of friends built. So you're in what we call no man's land. All right. No man's land is when people start to become successful,

they start to get better, and they find themselves alone because all of their old friends are now kind of out of their life, and they haven't developed new friends yet. And this is where people come with that saying, oh, well, it's lonely at the top. No, dude, you're not at the top.

You just got fucking started all right you're just in between phases and you need to settle into this new lifestyle give it some time start to you know rekindle these relationships and build friendships with people who are like-minded and once you start to do that you're going to find that that old group of friends was holding you back and you're going to realize they were holding you back a lot more than you realized at the time. And you're also going to figure out that this new group of friends is much more rewarding and fulfilling to be friends with because they share the same viewpoints that you have,

the same desire you have, the same drive you have, the ambitions, the goals, the dreams. They are connected to you in that same way. So you move away from people who are saying stuff like, oh man, the goals, the dreams, they are connected to you in that same way. So you move away from people who are saying stuff like, oh man, don't forget where you came from. Oh dude, what do you think? You're better than everybody. Oh, you're getting a little too big for your britches there. And all these people that try to, you know, pull you back into their circle and you move into a group of people where they're like, bro, this is awesome that you're doing that. You know what? Let's get together and work on this. You know what? Let's go outside and get a workout in together. You know what? Let's do this. That's going to improve both of us.

Let's collab. Let's build this. Let's do this. And now you're in a whole new group of network that actually pushes you forward, which makes progressing that much easier. And if you choose to continue to progress beyond that point, you will continue into another phase of no man's land because there will be people in the second group who decide this is good enough for me. This is where I want to be. And that's okay. But the longer you go, the more times you go through this process of sort of washing away the old and replacing with the new. And that's a good thing because we're not supposed to just stay stagnant our whole lives. Just because you were born around certain people doesn't mean you have to stay around certain people. Just because you had

friends in high school or friends in college doesn't mean that you need to be doing the same shit that you were doing in high school or college or else you're not real anymore. You're you you've forgotten us. Are you too good for us? That's bullshit. That's what losers fucking say to make you feel shitty. And do you really want that in your life? No, it's annoying. All right. And every time you scale up and every time you push forward, you're going to find yourself connecting with more and more people that not only encourage your success, but also contribute to it. So you're just going through the normal process, dude. This is part of it. And you're in between friend groups. And what I would encourage you to do is to stay on the path, keep pushing, keep getting better. And the right people will find you. The right people will start to realize that you're this kind of person. And you will start to connect with these people one by one by one. And soon, after some time, you'll have a whole new network of friends. But there is no quick fix to this.

There is no, you know, group or whatever that you can join that'll just automatically get people to replace your old friends. You know, like this is a process and it takes time. Now, you know, you could go on the internet and you could, you know, search 75 hard hashtags and you could start to connect and follow and kind of build your relationship with other people who are driven along the same goals. You know, you could go to certain events like the one we just had this weekend, Summer Smash, where everybody's here aligned. They're trying to get better. You could join communities that are, you know, there's a lot of run clubs. There's all these things around where people are getting together to improve and it's becoming more and more common so that you can accelerate the process by doing things like that. But ultimately, dude,

here's the deal. Throughout your life, you're going to continue to push and not everybody is. And that's going to be weird because you're going to wonder why they're not pushing too. And it's going to be fucking annoying. All right. But at the end of the day, you can't sacrifice your potential and what you're supposed to become because of the inaction or unwillingness of other people. And you just have to keep going of the inaction or unwillingness of other people. And you just have to keep going. Yeah, I love that, man. A couple of things on that.

You mentioned, I feel like it's almost like a bad expectation to think that this new group of people is just going to magically find you. There is some work on your part that you have to do to cultivate those relationships. For sure. I think that's super awesome. One thing you always also say too, dude, is high tides raises all ships that's right now with that being said like you can like yeah i'm sure you know you might get one of your friends that move up with you that's right but i feel like a lot of people will have a knee-jerk reaction where you know they put themselves at this higher standard they made it up here they know it feels great but then because

it's so much pressure from those people they tend to all right well maybe this standard i can drop this one just a little bit it's like a knee-jerk reaction almost right like i'll just lower this one all right maybe just once a week yes being around people will cause you to compromise yeah and dude you can't compromise because once you start to compromise you start to compromise everything so there can be no compromise in your standards. And if you compromise it, when's the next time you're going to compromise the next standard and the next step? It creates a snowball of compromise to where eventually you find yourself back where you were. All right. And yeah, for sure. And usually it does get worse because once

the slippery slope starts, it's hard to stop it. But you know, this concept is the same in relationships, like romantic relationships, partner relationships. You know, it's not just friendships. Like a lot of people, like a lot of you guys are out there looking for a significant other, or you're trying to meet people, but you're not considering like what you bring to the table. Like you think you're going to go out there and you're going to meet, you know, some person who's got all their shit together, but you don't have your shit together. And what you have to realize, and what I hope you do is that you won't settle until you're in a really good place. Because when you get to a really good place, you're going to attract people who are also on that level, which means your ability to get the ideal partner is going to be

much greater at that point in time. So, you know, we have to consider that too, dude. Like, look, yeah, you got to live your life. Yeah, you got to have fun. Yeah, you got to have friends. Yeah, you got to date, all these things. But you should realize that you're never going to get the best of those things until you're the best product yourself. And that's going to take you taking six months, taking a year and becoming exactly who the fuck you're supposed to be. And you can accelerate the results of your life in a tremendous fashion by just saying, Hey, you know what? I'm not dating. I'm not fucking around. I'm not going to do this.

I am going to put the next year 100% on me. I'm going to become the best version of myself. And then at the end of that year, I'm going to evaluate. And I'm going to tell you this, dude. If you take that mentality, all your friends are going to be better. The people that want to be friends with you are going to be better. You're going to make more money.

You're going to have a better life. The people who want to fuck you are going to be a. The people that want to be friends with you are going to be better. You're going to make more money. You're going to have a better life. The people who want to fuck you are going to be a lot better options. Okay. So I'd have no other way to say that, but that's the reality. Like, yeah, become the best. You get the best. You're not entitled to anything. So yeah, I love it, man. I love it. Guys, Andy, question number two. Hey, Andy, I'm 18 years old, just graduated high school, not going to college, but I want to go into business and build something. Looking at your life and seeing that you were in my shoes, I know it's possible. You always talk about reality and how the real world works. And I feel like I'm unprepared. My question is, what was going through your mind when you were about to leave the nest? How did you work through that? Were your parents supportive? I mean, you were 19 in the city with just you and your best friend just going. I need some help and insight. Well, you know, I was fortunate that I grew up with parents that sort of let me do what I needed to do. They weren't too overbearing. You know, they let me go out and make mistakes without like, you know, putting too many

rules and restrictions on me. And, you know, I was sort of allowed to do whatever I wanted as long as I didn't get in trouble. And I think that helped me because that way, when I was away from home, I didn't go crazy. I already kind of understood how to handle myself. So there wasn't any awkwardness there. You know, when I said, hey, I'm moving to Springfield and I'm going to start a business. I mean, it wasn't like anybody said no, you know, so I just did it. And I don't come from a traditional family. I wouldn't, you know, like I didn't grow up with the white picket fence and we sat down for dinner every day. It was different. And so I don't know.

That wasn't really a factor for me. Now, was I nervous to go out and try to do something? Did I feel unqualified? Did I question myself? Did I question myself? Did I doubt myself? Did I think, you know, fuck, am I going to be one of the people who are chosen for success? Absolutely. You always wonder that in the beginning. Do I have what it takes? Yep. Dude, that's, that's normal. All right. But you have to fundamentally, if I could like, I wish I could like reach into to you guys who are young into your brain and make you realize

just this one point and it's this I used to think like you think I used to think there was magic to it or there was luck or you had to be in a special circumstance or you had to know this person or you had to be like invited into the club. I used to think like all these things that you guys think like, you know, am I going to be one of these people that is chosen quote unquote for success? And if you've been following me for a while, you've heard me talk about the quote unquote success fairy and how I used to think about it was like, there's like people and you have a group of people that are like, you know, there's 10 of us in the room and one of us gets chosen to be successful

by some force that we don't understand. And I called that force, the success fairy. And what you have to understand guys is none of that shit is real. None of that shit is true. There is no success fairy. There is no special fucking secret club with secret handshakes. There is no, you know, you got to know this person or that person. You will meet those people as you go out and build things that will accelerate your career. But nobody meets those people on day one. You know, you're going to have doubt. You're going to have gonna have frustration you're gonna have anger you're gonna have mistakes but those things are necessary for you to gain the skills all right so when you really look at what it takes to build something like from my perspective i can very confidently

say it is very simple it's inputs equal outputs It is what I do and what that creates. And if you show up every day and you're effective every single day and you continue that for as long as you can and keep the ratio of wins much higher than you do losses, meaning like you win, let's say 95% of the days or even 90% of the days, bro, there's no denying that you'll get where you want

to go it just depends on how long it's going to take some of you guys come from total shit like for real and i'm most of you guys will say you come from shit but really you come from a middle class upbringing you're doing all right right there's people who come from fucking literally nothing no parents fucking adopted no dirt poor, wearing the same clothes every day, who have built literally billion dollar businesses, okay? If those motherfuckers can do it, I'm 100% sure that you can do it. But it might take that person longer because they didn't grow up with parents that taught them about business or parents that, you know, taught them basic things in life. So yeah, we all started a different place.

And that means that it might take you longer, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. And that's what you have to understand. If you were born in a shitty spot and that's the card you got dealt, guess what? The reality is you got to do more work. That's what it fucking comes down to. And you can bitch about it. You could cry about it. You complain about it. You can write fucking blogs about it. You can make videos crying in your car

about it. It ain't fucking fair. It's not fair. But if you just accept the way that it is and you say, all right, look, I was born with fucking bullshit circumstances. I better get to work because it's going to take me five years longer than it's going to take the guy who grew up in upper middle class America. You know what I'm saying? So we just have to accept that and we have to understand that it's still possible. It doesn't mean it's impossible and there's no magic to it. All it is is you try something, it fails. Why did it fail? Learn a lesson. You try

something again, it works. Then you try the next thing, it fails. Why did it fail? You learn a lesson. Then you try it again and it works. That's the process that's repeated thousands, hundreds of thousands of times over the years that makes you a skilled operator and that brings you success, fulfillment, and the life that you desire. And anybody can achieve it. So that's the way the game works. I love it, man. I want to ask you this, man, because you do know a lot of successful people, right? You know these people, you can touch them, you feel them, right? Have you noticed that? Is there any correlation between, you know, having, you know, the. The late start behind the starting line, the unfair initial circumstance. Have you have you seen the correlation between that and the people who are super successful?

Bro, I actually think it's a huge advantage. That's what I'm saying. Are they more successful? Yes. Yes. Yes Yes It is a huge advantage to come from fucking nothing Here is why because you had the biggest motherfucking chip on your shoulder you could possibly have you got fucked in every way Everybody tells you shit. Nobody thinks you're gonna succeed Everybody laughs at your shit And if you're smart You could absorb that energy and use it to move forward. And dude, every single successful person at a massive level has this crazy story of how the fuck they did it and where they came from.

And it's not because they just get there and start making up stories, bro. It's because those people have something to prove. They have a mission. They have an enemy. And those are three things that you have to have to be successful. So if you're one of these people and you're moping around, but I'm not coming from nothing, you're blinding yourself to the reality that it's actually one of the biggest advantages for the massive amounts of success that you could create. Do you think

that middle-class weak ass pussy motherfucker is going to do the shit that you're willing to do he doesn't even know what hardship is those people are easy as fuck to beat if you come from that place so like dude don't cry about it use it to your advantage and i guarantee you you'll be much more successful than the soft motherfuckers that come from the rich family that their mom and dad paid for everything for them that's real shit yeah i know it's real bro it's funny too man because you know it what you said there, it just seems so wild and unreal when you can look at somebody's life and see where they are, right? But then they take you to a little gravel road, and you're like, bro, how does this make sense?

What was the first thing I did when I fucking met you? That's what we did, bro. I showed you my place, and you showed me your place, bro. You know why I did that I fucking met you? That's what we did bro I showed you my place and you showed me your place bro You know why I did that? To show you where you came from? Cause I didn't want you to think I was some rich fucking motherfucker Didn't know shit First day I worked with DJ I said get in the fucking truck

And I took him to where we fucking grew up And I said this is where we come from The reason for that is I didn't want you to fucking think That I just shit this shit out of my ass, bro. I have paid in blood for the life that I have. And that's how I know it's possible for all these motherfuckers out there. You should be willing to do it.

Yeah. I love it, man. I fucking love it. Guys, Andy, let's get to our third and final question. Question number three. Andy, my name is Tanner, and I'm an entrepreneur at a global company. My job deals with a lot of networking and building relationships. And because of this, alcohol is typically involved. And I have realized that drinking alcohol hinders my ability to be

great. I'm not saying that people who drink are wrong. I have just realized that it's not good for me and the life that I am trying to build. How can I still network in my job while not doing what the people I am trying to build relationships in the workplace are doing? I don't want to seem rude or virtuous, but any advice would be great.

Now, you're a great person to ask because you haven't really drank alcohol since, what, 2017, 2018? 2018. Right? And I'm sure you get all asked all the fucking time. I mean, I do, but it's like twice, two, three times a year. Right.

And it's just like beer, typically. Before that, I drank Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday every week for 10 years, 20 years. Okay? So how do we handle this? Be who you are, bro. Authenticity wins. okay so how do we handle this be who you are bro authenticity wins when people sit down at dinner and everybody's drinking and you just say i don't know i'm good i drink this and just stand on that without making any excuses or apologizing that actually builds credit and respect with other people that shows that you have self-control that shows that you care about what you're doing so I would

recommend just being who you are all right there's something very powerful about someone sitting down and saying now I'm just going to get a tonic water or I'm going to get a this or I'm going to get a that a diet coke or whatever right and people saying what do you don't drink no I drink I'm just not drinking now. That shows people that you're in control. That shows people that you take your shit serious. And in fact, I have, when that happens to me and we're in a social situation and someone sits down and just says, everybody's drinking and says, I don't, I'm not drinking. That shows that that person is not breakable by peer pressure. So it actually fucking says a whole lot about you without saying anything. So I wouldn't try to compromise that.

I wouldn't try to explain it. The key is to not explain it. That's my next question. Do you owe them an explanation? Fuck no. You owe anybody an explanation. Like, you're a grown fucking man. I do what the fuck I want.

That's the attitude that you need to have. People will respect that. It authentic it's real and if you could sit down and do that it's like look dude if i was at dinner with all of you guys and we were all drinking and the new guy showed up and he was like you know yeah i don't i'm not drinking what you. What, you got a problem with it? You're a pussy. No. What are you, alcoholic? You're just drinking. No. No, man.

Sometimes I do, but I'm not right now because I'm doing this and this. You know? All right, cool. I'm going to look at that dude. I'm going to be like. He's driving. No. I'm going to be like, that guy can fucking make decisions that will not be affected by the pressure of everybody else.

I'm going to look at it like that guy's in control of his life. I'm going to look at it like that guy possesses a certain amount of discipline that most people don't possess. And I am going to look at the other guys and be like, man, I wonder if these other guys got that. Okay. So there's a lot of credit that you could build by just owning who the fuck you are and not apologizing for it. And you certainly don't need to apologize to anybody for not fucking putting alcohol on your body. that that's not an explanation that you need to have now if you have a problem like if you feel awkward about it or whatever you're not ready to make that stance i would just ask you to recognize that the right people will respect that if they don't respect it

and they make funny and they make they peer pressure you and this and that bro that probably not a good group of people to be around yeah that's that was my next question for you because uh i mean this is such a great topic but um you know like and i don't want to foreshadow any like you know like bad things in this guy's life i hope you're doing great hope you love where you work but do you think that i mean is it a possibility is there something to be like, genuinely cautious about that could become a reality? Because I know for me, like, I don't drink how I used to drink, right? Yeah. And, like, I'll be honest, like, drunk people kind of annoy me.

Yeah. Right? And so it's like, do you think it's something that he should be aware of, that there may come a time where you just may not want to be doing that line of work, bro, because it can get annoying. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, it may not just to be doing that line of work bro because it can get it can get annoying yeah you know what i'm saying like it may not just be good for the environment for you is that a possibility yeah for sure uh you know look man i can't say yes or no to that it just depends on the person it does depend on what profession you're in there are professions like

you know honestly a lot of them where alcohol is a major factor it's culture bro and you're in there are professions like you know honestly a lot of them where alcohol is a major factor it's culture bro it's u.s culture and you're yes but the problem with that is is that most of these motherfuckers can't build culture without it right they can't operate without it what kind of dude would you think of someone if they were able to have a great time and you know for a fact they didn't have one fucking drink that makes you like triple cool right so like you know people drink it's a part of business it's a part of networking i understand that but i think if you handle it right i i know if you handle it right people actually respect you and and what will end up happening is like some of the other guys will come up and be like you know

how do you do that what do you do you know what do you tell me about your training because dude they don't want to be fat fucking drunks either bro they just are because they don't they lack the ability to say no because of the social pressures involved right and that's something that works you know once you do live hard once you do 75 hard it honestly becomes real easy to just tell people to eat shit you know what i'm saying like because dude you realize that other people just are not living at a higher standard that goes back to the the first question we had you know um yeah and to your point dj it's really hard for me to be around people that don't hold a high standard you know what i'm saying like drunk drunk motherfucker we're saying drunk people we're not saying like just a couple of drinks at dinner it's not even drunk people

bro i don't mind if like one of my friends gets drunk like i'm like all right that's cool like fucking i party hard too i get it you know but what i do mind is when someone's fat as fuck they're fucking got that red drunk face. They're clearly a piece of shit. And they're always fucking drunk. And they're always talking shit. Bro, I punch those motherfuckers in the face. I can't fucking stand them. They have noxiousness.

I cannot fucking stand them. I'm like, dude, listen to this guy. Listen to this guy talk shit about how good his life thinks it is. He's fat. His fucking shit's hanging over his belt. He's drinking 500 beers beers he's not making any money and he's talking shit about all this stuff like dude like that's just a bullshit human being real talk so that's real man let me let me follow up on one more thing too here because

and i'm not saying that this is this guy's situation but you know he's like i don't want to seem rude or virtuous how how rude huh it's rude to yourself to not be true to yourself 100 you know what's rude violating your own integrity because of the pressure that other people put on you that's fucking rude you know what's rude is giving up on your own hopes and dreams because some fucking losers say you should okay that's rude it you have to be self you have to be self-focused you have to be selfish almost about your dreams and hopes because everybody else will try to erode them because they don't have those you see what i'm saying 100 man i was just saying that to say like i mean how much

like self-talk's a real thing man like and how many like do you think this is a thing too where he's just like these conversations and this negative, I guess, reaction to this stuff, like, it's all in his mind? Kind of like, I mean, is it really a reality that people are that, like, just complete dicks like that? Or are these conversations he's making up in his head? No, I think it's him not being comfortable in that situation yet. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, okay.

So just be mindful of that. Well, dude. I'll, you know, real talk, dude, like just look at the motherfuckers that pressure you to drink. Do you want their life? Do you want what they got?

Really? Like, cause I don't, I look at people like that real talk. Like, you know how I look at it. I do. Like I walk away.

I'm like, look at this fucking loser. Look at this fucking douche. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I don't, i don't care how much fucking money you got you you can't control yourself you you're not in control of your own life yeah and then whatever you got you're definitely missing something on the table bro and i just look at him and i'm like dude honestly like this is gonna sound so fucking wrong i don't care i just look at them and i'm like that guy's a pussy and i'm not that guy's weak and i'm not That guy's less than me. He is and that's that's reality because he is You know, it's it's not that's not arrogance to say

Somebody with more self-control more discipline more mental toughness is a higher quality human being than somebody without it That's just reality, dude. This is You know people love to say this shit. Well, you think you're better than everybody. Yeah That fucking scorecard says so you know, people love to say this shit. Well, you think you're better than everybody? Yeah. That fucking scorecard says so. I fucking handle my shit. I fucking have discipline. And this goes for you guys too. If you have it, I got my shit together. I'm working hard. I'm doing the right things. I'm living a virtuous life. I'm doing the best that I can. You aren't even trying. Yes. That makes me better than you. I'm sorry that you don't get to be the best when you live like shit and i put in all this work to be who the fuck i am that's like you oh oh so you believe

in participation trophies right basically yeah right like it's an absurd conversation and people love to throw that shit out there and it's never rich people or fucking people that have high levels of success that say that shit they're never out there saying oh that guy that guy that has a little like you never hear a wealthy person or someone who's got all their shit together say oh that guy that's got more than me he thinks he's better than me that's not the fuck they think only fucking losers say that shit and it's to validate themselves for not even trying dude most people legitimately wait their entire week to go out and drink beer like for real overpriced beer yeah by thursday by thursday they're going to fucking happy hour friday night they're partying ball saturday some sort of day drinking and then fucking night drinking sunday i

know because i lived this i did this for for years. Okay? And my life sucked. I wasn't happy. I wasn't fulfilled. I was making far less money than I could have made. I wasn't good in terms of friendships or relationships. Like, and that's reality, dude. Like, there's guys that were better than me. And even where I'm at now, there's still dudes better than me now.

And we have to be able to admit that. That guy's got his shit together more than me. That shouldn't be some whiny shit like, oh, that guy thinks he's better than me. It should be like, damn, dude, I need to get better. That guy's better than me. Yeah. I got to get up there. Yeah, that's how winners think.

Winners look at people that are further down the road from them and say, fuck, all right, I got work to do. And they get to work. They don't hate the motherfucker because he's doing better. They're like, fuck, that's inspiring. Yeah, 100%, man. I love it. Well, guys, Andy, we'll do one more.

Want some special sauce? Yeah, yeah. All right, special sauce. Try to give him a full 45. Girth. A full 4.5. In your case, yeah. That's two trophies I'm giving him a dot god damn he didn't even say nothing you don't have to you did all right uh guys andy question number four a little special

sauce uh what's good andy i just wanted to start by saying thank you for changing my life i've been following since mfceo and i've really bossed the fuck up since listening to you. I was homeless without a job, straight up lost. By listening to your podcast, completing the 75 Hard program, I am now a six-figure professional tattoo artist that works at one of the most famous studios in the country. My life has completely changed. I owe you, bro. Now, as I mentioned earlier, I am now working at a famous tattoo studio with some real heavy hitters. I've been here for five months now, and to be honest, things could not be going any better.

I am growing in the company, tattoos are getting better, and building great rapport with the owners of the company. I can't help but notice that the attention that I am receiving from ownership on top of maybe my personality is starting to step on some toes of people that I work with, especially people who have a much longer tenure than I do at the studio. I've heard the saying to never outshine the master. I have only been tattooing professionally for about three years, so the last thing I want to do is seem arrogant or cocky. Coming from an athletic background, I have a team first mindset. But as I'm noticing these coworkers talking shit, I'm starting to wonder if I should even give a fuck.

I put in the work and I ask the questions whenever I get the opportunity. I want to be a team player, but at the same time, I don't want to let someone else's insecurity stop me from being the best version of myself. Should I try to accommodate these workers to keep a friendly, peaceful work environment? Or should I just say, fuck them, we ball, and keep moving regardless of how people feel about it? All right, first of all, never let anyone, fucking anyone, slow you the fuck down, bro. If people stand in your way, you run them the fuck over.

Okay, you don't wait for them to catch up. You fucking make them catch up. All right. This question is such an important question because so many people struggle with this. They start to get good and then their friends that they made in the workplace start to like notice. And then they start to like tone it back down. It's no different than what we talked about with no man's land. All right. So what you need to realize and how to handle this would be very, very, very simple. One, continue to work your ass off and get better.

Do everything better than everybody else. Let your work speak for itself to the point where it embarrasses their work, all right? When they have a problem with it or they talk shit, smile, be cool, just laugh it off and keep moving. All right. Treat them with respect. If they're disrespectful to you, treat them with respect. And what's going to happen is your life is going to speak for itself and their life is going to speak for itself. And by you treating them well, even if they're being douchebags,

you're showing the ownership that like it's them not you okay so when you have a situation where you have a bunch of employees and then you have an ownership group then you have you who's new one of the things that can happen is because all these people have tenured relationships with the owners they can fucking go to the owner and be like this guy's a problem this guy's a cancer this guy this guy's a problem. This guy's a cancer. This guy, this guy's a, you don't see what he does when you're not around.

You don't see how he treats people. And usually when people come to you, the owners with that, it's usually because they're high performing people and those people are threatened and they're trying to hold them back. And your ownership will fucking recognize that as long as you continue to do great work. If you continue to put in work. If you continue to

put in the work, you continue to be humble about it, open to getting better. That's what I mean. I don't mean humble, like, Oh, I'm no good. I mean, humble, like, Hey, what can I learn from this guy? How can I get better? How can I improve? How can you make it known that you're looking to improve? All right. That's what matters. And that's, what's going to matter to the ownership. And then when those guys go to the ownership and they start chirping about, you know, oh, then the ownership is going to look at those guys and be like, the fuck's wrong with you. And they're going to start telling on themselves. So, but that will not happen if you treat them like shit back, because remember, they

have a tenured relationship. So if you were, if those people were getting rude and you're like, hey, motherfucker i'm better than you blah blah blah blah blah and start doing that the owner is likely to look at you as the cancer because you're the newest element to the team so it's very important do better keep on the gas stay humble enough to keep improving work harder than everybody else produce better than everybody else and then when they fucking have an opinion about it or you hear them talking, keep a positive attitude. Treat them with respect. And you do you the way that you know you're going to do you.

Keep your integrity strong and they will weed themselves out or they will eventually join you and they will say, you know what, this guy's actually a really good dude. I'm going to try to get on his team. So you'll either pull them with you or they will separate themselves because they will show themselves to be cancers. So this idea of never outshine the master,

is that a relevant thing? Those guys are not the master. Those are peers. Those are peers. Those are your coworkers. Those are peers. And by the way, there is a way to outshine the master.

In fact, if you have the right kind of master, they want you to fucking outshine them because they want great people on the team. But the problem is, is that most of the time when people try to outshine the master, they fucking have an ego about it. If you have someone in your organization that's better than you at something as an owner, I am glad about that. I want that because I want the team to fucking win. Like if we're on a football team and I'm not as fast as the guy that's out there

running a 4-2-40 on the wide receiver, you think I just don't want him on the team because he's faster than me? No, I want him on the team because he's going to win in that position. So there's a way to do that. There's a way to be better than the guys who even own the company, but also recognize that you're better in this area. You're not better than, and you're just part of the team over here. And you know, that's the way to do that is to always stay humble, um, to accept responsibility and give away credit. That's a massive thing for peer leadership and leadership. Like if you're a leader, it's not your job to get the credit. Everybody, that's a massive thing for peer leadership and leadership. Like if you're a leader, it's not your job to get the credit.

Everybody thinks that as a leader, it's their job to get the flowers and the credit and the celebration and the claps. That's not your job. Your job is to take that credit and push it to the team and say, hey, this is a team effort. Dude, I was walking through HQ today, and a guy was like, you're changing so many lives. And I like, you know, you're changing so many lives. And I'm like, no, we are changing so many lives. You see what I'm saying? And then when things go bad, it's not, oh, my team fucking sucks. It's man, you know what? I fucked up

because I didn't show you guys how to do this the right way. You see what I'm saying? So dude, accept responsibility, give the credit Even as a peer leader And you'll earn the respect Of your team And the ownership I love it bro I love it man Well that was four

Yeah What? Alright guys Let's go have a great week I'll see you guys tomorrow Went from sleeping on the floor Now my jewelry box froze Fuck a bowl, fuck a stove Counted millions in the cold Bad bitch, booted swole Got her on bankroll

Can't fold, that's a no Headshot, case closed