REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 72. The Power Of Indifference

Episode Date: September 29, 2020

Nowadays, we cannot watch anything on television or social media without having political views bestowed upon us. Our conditioning makes us crucify people with different perspectives. On today's show, Andy shares a new way of thinking that can drastically enhance your way of life if used properly.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm going to get millions. Watch this. In a project living. Damn. Spoke it till existence. Voila. Mode changed to 50. What up?

Got more cars than diddy. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. What up? What's up, guys? It's Andy Purcella, and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today, I've got a real short episode for

you. Before I get into it, I'd like to remind you that we don't run ads on this show. We grow this show completely off of you guys, meaning if we add value and you guys share it, the show grows. If our show fucking sucks and you don't share it, our show doesn't grow. And I'm perfectly okay operating that way because I try to pour everything I can into this show for you guys. And hopefully it'll give you a different perspective to keep you entertained. It'll teach you a lot of things. And hopefully, you know, you pull some things away from it. And all we ask is that if you do, uh, pay the fee, the fee is not monetary. The fee is just talking to people about the show and have them give a listen whenever you get around, you know, people who you think might benefit from the show. So with that being said,

guys, uh, you guys do an amazing job of that. And I just want to say, thank you so much for that, because I think as far as I know, we're one of the only shows that's consistently top 10, um, that doesn't run ads. And, uh, I think that says something. So something I'm really proud of, but anyway, guys, you know, this situation we have in society right now is very turbulent. I think everybody knows that, right? Like it's very hard to look anywhere, um, you know, on social media, especially on mainstream media. Uh, you know, we can't even watch the NFL. We can't watch the NBA. We can't watch anything without seeing things, um, that are political and, and usually upsetting in some way, shape or form, uh, to us. And, you know, that's okay. We, we all have different views. Uh, we all see things different ways, but it's kind of hard to avoid the energy, right? Like it's hard to avoid, um, you know, we see so-and-so said this and we don't agree with it. And we're like, fuck so-and-so, right? Or we see somebody that, you know, they say what we like and they confirm our biases and our information and what

we believe and we're like, oh yeah, that's my dude, right? Like we're so into this now. Socially, I think it's a very dangerous place to be for us as people. And the reason that it's very dangerous, there's a lot of reasons on the macro level, right? We get into group think, we get into situations where we don't necessarily make the right decisions because we're all wrapped up in what everybody else is doing, things like that. It makes it hard for us to make decisions and to be productive, especially. And you know, this show is about winning, dude. This show is about the reality of how to fucking win. All right. That's what it's always going to be about.

Now we might talk some funny shit. We might tell some jokes. We might talk about the problems in the world, but we're never going to talk about the problems without a solution. That's something that you will always get here. We're not a, you know, we're not a passive show, I guess, so to speak, where it's like, Hey, you know, these are the problems. And what do you guys think? Look, dude, I'm going to give you my opinion. That's what we do here. But today I wanted to let you guys in on something that I think could really help everybody in terms of how to operate in a scenario where we are constantly agitated. We are constantly seeing things that don't go well with what we like, or we're constantly seeing things that upset us.

And no matter what side of the political or socioeconomic spectrum that you find yourself on, hopefully you don't affiliate with either one and you think for yourself. But we always find ourselves where we think. And I think that's a natural thing. I'm not judging anybody for that. I work very hard to try and have my own thoughts, but we're all influenced.

And so the problem with that becomes that when we see information or hear information that may be in conflict with what it is we think or believe or have an opinion, you know, we've been conditioned over the last 15 years to just jump all over people when they don't do what we want them to do. And that's very dangerous because now we have a situation where we can't communicate. We can't connect with people. You're either on the team or you're off the team. You know, it's not human, dude. What's human is, hey, you've got an opinion. Why do you have that opinion? Oh, well, I've got a different opinion. This is why I have it. And then we can talk.

And then guess what? We can give a high five. We can drink a beer. We can still be cool. And we've lost that as society. And I think that we lost that. I think Facebook is a big contributor to why we lost that whenever they went to a situation where, um, you know, technology has consistently shortened our communication process. I've talked about this a number of times on this show and then other shows as well. You know, back in the day, you know, I'm talking a hundred years ago, what do we have? You know, 250 years ago, we had to see people in person or maybe we could send a letter, right?

So there was very clear communication going on. Then we had the telephone, still very clear communication. Then we got, you know, the fax machine, a little shorter. Then we got email, a little shorter. And then we got social media and, you know, people go on and leave a hundred, what is it? 240 character fucking response on Twitter. I don't do Twitter. So I'm just guessing that could, whatever the fuck it is, but right. We

only have enough space to say one thing, but then we got to a point where, you know, let's just say on Facebook, you say something and then they made it so you could like the comment. Right. And when, when they made it so you could like the comment, right? And when they made it so you could like the comment, people went from having actual conversations to trying to win the conversation. And what we have right now going on is a 10-year indoctrination by social media to say witty, clever things that get us celebrated instead of having productive conversations. Now, that really doesn't have a lot to do with what I'm going to teach you today,

but I want you to know why we are where we are so that you can clearly identify how to avoid what I'm about to talk about. And what I'm going to talk about is this. You don't have to have an opinion, okay? Lots of people feel like they have to have an opinion on every single thing that goes on.

They've got to be in, uh, you know, the voice on every single little thing. And guys, what I want you to think about is there's a lot of power in indifference. There's a lot of power in not caring. There's a lot of power in apathy about certain things. And so you have to know when to have an opinion and when not to have an opinion. And it's not that you have to have an opinion or not have an opinion, but it's for your own mental health. And this is where I'm going with this. Okay. We are constantly agitated. We are constantly poked at, we are constantly challenged by everything that we see in the

world. And it's causing this mass disruption where we can't even have a conversation with people who might slightly think differently than what we think. And I think that's very bad. But the main reason it's bad for you and the reason it's bad for me is that whenever we try to have an opinion on every single thing, what we end up doing is needlessly agitating ourselves and taking our attention away from things that could be productive for us. All right. So while there's a shitload of power, ultimate power in giving a fuck, there is also a lot of power in indifference. All right. And so when you, and the example I want to use with you guys is very simple. All right. And so when you, and the example I want to use with you guys is very

simple. All right. I want you to think about for a second, all the things that have been said about you behind your back that you're completely unaware of. Okay. Think about that. Now, a lot of you are probably like, well, fuck, I don't know. Like, do people talk about me? Fuck yeah, they talk about you, bro. They talk about you just like you talk about other people, just like everybody talks about other people. You just ain't there to hear it. That's the truth, all right? So think of all the things that people have said about you behind your back that you were unaware of. How upset did you get about those things?

Oh, that's right. You didn't get upset because you didn't know. Now, on the other hand, I want you to think about that. One out of every 50 times someone says something about you and you end up finding out about it. And I want to think about your reaction there. What's your reaction then? Well, usually you get upset. Usually you spend half your day trying to figure out why they said it and the rest of the half, the other half trying to defend it or trying to make peace with the person or trying to fight that person. It takes your energy away from things that would otherwise be productive for you. And so that's just by default, right? Like by default, the things we

don't know about can't really fuck with us. But how do we not know about things when we know about them? That's the power here. That's the lesson I want you to learn. Okay. If you can learn the power of indifference, if you can learn to cultivate and create the ability to observe things without having an opinion or without having a reaction, without having an emotional outburst, even if it's about you, even if it stings, you're creating power for yourself because when you have power for yourself and you're protective of the power of yourself, instead of other people influencing you, instead of other people taking your energy, instead of other people doing things that can get you off your game, you have the ability to do nothing other than what it is you were going to do

anyway. Okay. You start to act in a way, whereas the thing that bothers you really doesn't bother you. And what does that do for you? It frees up your energy. It frees up all of your focus. It frees up your stress, your anxiety, all these things, all of these things that are keeping you from actually being productive. Now, I believe that the power of being indifferent about opinions people have about you is a very, very, very strong, powerful skill to develop, but also it's a very necessary skill for you to develop. How much time do you spend arguing with people who disagree with you on the internet? How much time do you spend arguing with your aunt or your uncle who doesn't

believe in you? How much time do you spend arguing with your boyfriend or your girlfriend or trying to convince your boyfriend or girlfriend that you're going to do this, that, or the other thing? What if it just didn't matter what they said? What if you just let it go? What if you had the ability to close it out and not let it affect you in that negative way that we all respond to automatically? Now your energy is free. Now you're able to move forward. Now you're able to stay focused and execute on the things that you need to do. And I'm not saying this is a easy skill to develop guys, but what I am saying is that if you develop it, you become very powerful because most people will spend their entire lives worrying so much what other people think

that they actually don't even have the energy required to put into their own lives because they're so busy counting the arrows that other motherfuckers shot them in the back with. Okay. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who believes in you. It doesn't matter who, uh, doesn't like you. It doesn't matter. Who's got this opinion of you. It doesn't fucking matter. What matters is what you do. Do you spend all day being irritated? Every time someone says something you don't like, every time you see a political opinion, you don't like every time you see a political opinion you don't agree with. Every time you see something that agitates you, what do you do? Do you stop and get all fussy and hussy and decide you're going to spend the next three hours getting in a comment war with someone online? Or do you say, hey, that that's their opinion and that's that.

And you go back to what you're doing, because I'm going to tell you right now, one of those people is going to lose and the other one's going to fucking win. And if you're not smart enough to figure out which one it is, it's going to win. Then you probably shouldn't even be listening to this show. All right. We only have so much energy. We only have so much care. We only have the ability to focus and have honest and meaningful opinions about so many things. So we have to know what to let go and what to care about. And cultivating that power and cultivating that discipline is a very hard process, especially in the beginning of trying to build a brand, whether that's a personal brand, whether it's an actual business

brand or whatever it is. You're going to do things that are going to cause other people to have reactions and how you respond to those reactions is ultimately what's going to dictate where you end up. All right. So there's a lot of power in apathy. There's a lot of power and indifference, and there's a fuck ton of power and staying focused even when other people are trying to derail you as much as possible. All right. Because that is going to happen. The more successful you get, the more people are going to try to pull you off your game. The more people aren't going to like the way you did something, the more people that, you know, they're going to disagree with how you handled this or that or the other. All right. Now there's definitely a line there. Like, let's just say, you know, somebody says, Oh, this guy did this and this and this. Well, did you do that? And was it wrong? And can you learn from it? Can you correct the behavior? Or is it fucking bullshit?

Is it someone's opinion that is just like not true? Because if it is, why are you worried about it? If it's not true, then why are you worried about it? Why are you letting it distract you from what it is that you need to do? Why are you letting it take your energy away from the things that are going to benefit you? That are going to benefit your family. They're going to benefit your future. Because what I see right now is a lot of people from all walks of life, getting really fucking agitated about things that really don't fucking matter to them.

And I think that's been this whole year. You have to learn the discipline of letting things go. You have to understand how to create a scenario where you could flip a switch in your brain and the things that were aggravating you three seconds ago are now irrelevant and non-existent to the path that you're on. Now, I'm not saying ignore real issues that you have because a lot of people do that, right? I'm talking about the shit that really just sucks your time. I'm talking about the things that don't really matter to you. You know which way you're voting. You know which your beliefs are. It's okay to listen to other people's belief. We don't have to fucking hate people. But when people start attacking you and you find yourself

getting irritated by the news, by social media, by other people, realize that's weakness. When you let other people's decisions and words take you off your game, that's not them, that's you. Okay? So learning how to not have an opinion, learning how to be indifferent, learning how to put this into practice so that you don't spend your whole fucking life being bitter and being mad and being, you know, the Facebook warrior, like everybody seems to be these days. And instead you've got your head down, you're executing, you're getting shit done. Your workouts are getting done. Your business is getting done. You don't find yourself losing time to all this irrelevant shit. That person who can cultivate that discipline is going to beat the fuck out of anybody else

a hundred times out of a hundred. Okay. So this is not a little lesson for you guys. This is a huge lesson. You don't have to care about everything. And there's things you shouldn't care about. And a lot of the things that you do think you care about are really taking from your future. You just don't realize it yet.

And guys, look, man, I get it, dude. I get it. It fucking hurts when people misunderstand you. It hurts when people say things that irritate your core beliefs. It hurts when people say things about you that just aren't true. But at the end of the day, we've got to think with logic and not emotion. Logic wins, reality wins. Idealism does not win. Dreaming does not win.

Executing wins, okay? So you have to learn to push this stuff out. It didn't even happen. It's not relevant. Just like all the other things that you never even knew about that people said that people did behind your back, because those things have happened and they haven't affected you. Only a fool would act like that's not happening behind your back. It's happening to all of you. All of you are the subject of gossip. All of you are the subject of gossip. All of you are the subject of quote unquote shit talk.

All of you are the subject of criticism. Okay. Low level people. That's what they live on. High level people flush that shit down the toilet and keep doing their motherfucking job. All right. Power of indifference. Learn it.

Use it. Win with it.