REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 73. What If?

Episode Date: October 2, 2020

What if you don't chase your dreams? We naturally fear being judge by others that we don't even take the first step towards our goals. On today's episode, Sal talks about how facing your fears can be the breakthrough to the life of your dreams.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm gonna get millions. Watch this. In a project living. Damn. Spoke it till existence. Voila. Mode changed to 50. What up?

Got more cars than diddy. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. What's going on, guys? It's Sal Frisella, and you're listening to the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking reality. I'm back, ladies and gentlemen. First and foremost, in the most kind, ladies and gentlemen, first and foremost,

in the most kind, prolific manner. Thank you. I'm humbled. I'm grateful. I'm thankful for all the love and support you guys shared on my very first God bless this average home episode. You know, one of the things that's valuable or excuse me, one of the things that's most important to me is making sure that my life experience is able to create value for other people. And it's through lessons, it's through education and understanding that the intangible asset, the one that can be taught so that you can utilize that asset to help better your life or maybe make a better decision with your day-to-day activity. That's what matters to me. That's what makes that, as long as I'm in that conversation at some point in time,

understanding that I was able to bring you value, teach you a lesson, that's what's most important to me. And the share, the love, the support that you guys gave on my very first episode of Real Talk, I just want to say thank you. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know. And I hope, I hope, and the goal is to continue to bring you value. And today's value, I want to, I want to, I want to share with you because it's, there's two lessons that I want to bring you. One's a personal lesson. One's a professional lesson, but both of them are driven by the same fuel. And that fuel is fear and understanding that through fear is what everything you want in life,

that's where it fucking resides. It's through that fear where most people will never walk. They'll never face the challenge. They'll never step up to the plate. And it's because they get anxiety. It's because they get scared. It's because they get this little bitty phrase. What if?

What if I fail? What if they make fun of me? What if my friends don't like it? What if they don't support me? And I'm here to tell you that it's not about what if. It's about what if not. What if you don't do it? What if you don't chase your dreams?

What if you don't stand up for yourself? What if you do not step up to the plate and take that challenge? How much value are you going to be able to provide to your future family? How much value can you bring to your team? How much value can you bring to your kids? If you've never faced fear yourself, how do you expect to teach them how to face their biggest fears and understanding that in life? You break the mold through fear

and why most people never become successful is because they're afraid of the what if And that what if is driven by fear it's insecurity. It's anxiety. It's just flat out being fucking scared And i'm going to share with you two experiences for me personally that have not only shaped who I am, it's shaped who I'll be. It's shaped who my kids will be. It's shaped what my legacy will stand for. It's shaped the leadership lessons that I've been able to teach the people around me. It's shaped my friendships. It's shaped my marriage. And that's simply standing in the face of fear. Those two lessons are this one's personal and the personal one I'll share with you first.

I was always able to get away with being, I don't want to say in shape, but I was a college athlete. I got drafted. Although it was like in the last pick of the last round of the MLB draft, I was still drafted. I played professional sports, believe it or not. This fucking oompa loompa looking guy here, just kidding. Still handsome. But that, that I was always able because we trained so hard. We were always in the heat. I was always in a weight room. We were always doing something physical that I was always able to kind of overcome my fat gene. Right. And although I was always extremely, extremely insecure about it, I never really had to face the fear because of the lifestyle that I lived. But once I got into the professional setting, that lifestyle was no more.

And that fear and that anxiety and that insecurity, it's still there. It was still there. Like I was, I could never get away of, man, I never looked good in something. I've never taken my shirt off and been proud of what looks back in the mirror, no matter how great of shape I've been in it. I've always been afraid to take my shirt off at the pool and I'm in the motherfucking fitness game. Think about that. My whole life, my whole life. I just went on vacation with my family. I was nervous to take my shirt off at the beach with my own fucking family. But I know that that fear is something that I had to face if I was ever going to share that lesson with other people. And something that's important

to me as I started on the front end of this episode is my legacy, my ability to help other people through their fears is something that lights my fire. It's something that I was driven to do. I've always been and forever will always be the person like, I'll help you move. I'll help you cut your grass. I'll help take a tree down. Like I love to help. And I understood that that fear, that anxiety, my ability to help in that fashion, that was what I was meant to do. I understood that if I was going to win at that game, that I had to go first. And I had to take my shirt off. I had to stand in front of the internet. I had to show them that I was scared shitless just like they are. And it was through that fear that I was able to shape who I am today. I was able to shape the people's them that I was scared shitless just like they are. And it was through that fear that

I was able to shape who I am today. I was able to shape the people's lives that we as a company have been able to change all through just simply taking the first step. And that first step, although it be the most scary, insecure, fucking afraid step I've ever had to take from a personal standpoint in my entire life, I look back as just simply facing that fear is one of the best things that I ever chose to do. Because I chose to face that step, I've been able to fulfill my own narcissism, my own drive by helping other people change their lives because I can look them in the eyes and I can tell them what it's like to face that fear. I can tell them what it's like to take your shirt off and take a picture of yourself,

put it on the internet, accept the challenge. I can look them in the eyeballs and I can speak to them. I can speak to their soul because I speak fat. Like I understand it. No matter if you're a guy or girl, like I understand that piece of life, that insecurity. And I knew that I could help. But I could only help them if I faced up and fucking took the challenge myself. And it was through that sense of fear, facing that

challenge of fear that I've been able to reshape my career, been able to reshape my life. I've been able to reshape a message that I can teach my children on how to overcome their fear so that they can fucking make the most of their life. My second lesson I want to teach you is a professional lesson. One that we all have thought of and you're probably thinking of if you listen to this show, you've been in these shoes at one point in time or the other, and maybe you're in them right fucking now. I was 28 years old. I had quote unquote life by the balls. I worked for arguably the best Fortune 100 company on the planet Earth, Johnson & Johnson. I sold MedDev balls. I worked for arguably the best Fortune 100 company on the planet Earth, Johnson & Johnson. I sold MedDevice. I had the job that all of my friends wanted.

They all chased. Everybody thought I had the fucking gig, and I did. I made $300,000, $400,000. I was 26, 27, 28, 29 years old, man. I had life by the balls. I had a company car. I had 401k. I had retirement. I had expense account. I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, with whoever I wanted. And I made a lot of money doing it. But what I realized is I wasn't fulfilling what drove me. They tell you these things that tell you that you're helping these people change their life. Oh, you're going to have the most lightweight mesh so you can help them live a comfortable life. But in my brain, I knew, man, that's not what fulfilled me. I never met that human. That human, when I walked in, they were on a table. They were knocked out. I was talking to the doctor and I was able to sell, but I was ever able to fulfill what I

loved about life, which is helping people. I was never able to deliver that product, no matter how good I was at my job, I couldn't fill that bucket. And I remember starting to have the conversations with Andrew and Chris about, you know, Hey, we're going to start first form. We're going to get it moving. You know, we're going to do this thing together. What? And I remember the anxiety and the, and, and the what ifs. And I remember the drinking and the nervousness and all these things that were built up in my brain because I was afraid because of the fear. That fear was only driven by one fucking question. It's what if, what if I fail? What if I don't succeed? What if all my friends are right? What if I have to go back and face him, listen to him, tell me, I told you so. What if I had to do that? But I understood. And this is the one thing that I'm most thankful that my dad taught me is about competitiveness is you can use that for you or against you. And I learned

to choose, I chose to use it for me. He's like, no, no, motherfucker. What if not? That ain't going to, those words are not going to be spoken to me. You're not going to tell me I told you so. I'm going to fucking tell it to you. And in that face of adversity, like I understood, that doesn't eliminate the fear. It just gives you the fucking determination to continue to take one fucking step at a time. And just like a marathon, it doesn't matter that you run it in two hours. You don't have to set the world record. It simply matters that you ran it. Simply matters that you ran it. It simply matters that you had the courage to fucking step up to the starting line and put one motherfucking foot in front of the other. That's the fear you got to overcome. And if you can learn to look at

the mirror and respect the human that looks back at you because you've put in the work from overcoming the fear, that's the feeling that you want out of life. You don't want to live the life that everybody else has. You want to live your fucking life and fucking write your story. And that's only going to come through you facing your fears. And your fears are different than my fears, but we all have them. They're insecurities. They're wrapped up in different blankets. They have different disguises, but we all fucking have them. I just chose to use mine for what fuels me so that I can go help people change their lives. And when I look about taking that challenge, that fear, and facing it fucking head on, I was able to write on both sides, personal and

professional, what my legacy is going to stand for, The lessons that I'm going to teach my kids, the value that I want to provide to the world through building young men and women, young leaders, and better brothers, mothers, sisters, fathers, husbands, and helping them change their personal lives. Helping them just knowing that my fucking positive message of facing that fear could simply be the difference of whether that person decides to fucking take the challenge or not. Just letting them know that it's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to be scared, but it's not okay to fucking not face it. Not okay to fucking not go after it. It's not okay to fucking let somebody else's what if dictate your fucking story.

You need to control that narrative by saying, what if not, motherfucker? Understand that mediocre people don't like high achievers and high achievers don't like mediocre people. And what I mean by that is your ability to get outside your comfort zone makes everybody else a little bit squirmy. It makes them nervous. It makes them feel a little bit more mediocre. Your what if thought that they're going to have about you cannot be controlled by somebody else's mediocre thinking. You're designed to be fucking great. As humans, we're designed to face adversity. That's our goal. That's our mission. That's what we're designed to do. And if you're ever going to live a life full of fucking, of that fullness, that completeness, that respect that looks back at you in the mirror,

it's only going to be earned through the fucking work of facing your fears that I promise you. And I don't share with you this lesson because it's like some hokey pokey bullshit up on the internet. I share with you this lesson because this is what has helped me most in my life. Taking that challenge, facing my fears, both personal and professional, they're the two things that have shaped who I am as a human right now, but for who I am as a human when I won't be here. The lessons that they'll teach my kids, the lessons that they'll tell my family, the lessons that'll be told about me in these walls, that's through facing the motherfucking fear. And if you want those stories to be about you,

I suggest that you saddle up, you put one foot in front of the other and you start attacking your motherfucking fears today. And so I'm going to leave you with this. This is the value. This is the lesson. Whether you choose to face it or not, it's on you. That's not on me. I chose to face mine. And it's the most proud decisions that I've made in my entire life. Don't let the what ifs control your story. Don't let the what if I fail, what if they make fun of me? Don't let those control your narrative. Your job, your opportunity, your obligation on this earth, given by God, is to make the best motherfucking life that you have. Best fucking life that you could possibly live is your obligation to the society. And if you want to be the best husband, mother, brother, sister, you're only going to get there if you learn to

face your fucking fears. And that's it for today, ladies and gentlemen. I hope, again, my goal is to provide as much value as physically possible. And I hope that today made you think. That's my goal. My goal is to help you overcome your fears. And if it's, whether it's physical or professional, using my stories, my experience to help push you through those thresholds, that's my goal in sharing today's story. And if you enjoyed today's lesson, I just ask you, you give us a share. You write us a review on iTunes. You give us a share. You give me a tag at Mr. Frisella on Instagram. I love you guys. I appreciate you. Thank you for who you are. Thank you for what

you stand for. Thank you for listening to The Real Air.