REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 735. Q&AF: Favoritism At Work, Heartless Vs Using Heart Less & Getting Jealous Of Successful Friends

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to handle a situation where you think a particular coworker is getting all the opportunities at work, how to deal with using your heart “less�� when leading people at work, and what to do when you start getting jealous of your friends who are successful in life and business.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, as always, we are starting the week off with a little Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. If you want your questions answered on the show, you can do so a couple different ways. The first way is... Guys, you can email these questions in to askandy at andyfrasella.com. Or you go on YouTube in the comment sections on the Q&A episodes.

Drop the question in the comments and we'll choose some from there as well. Now through the week, we're going to have different formats of the show. We like to say we have shows within the show. Tomorrow, we're going to have CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet. We're going to put topics up on the screen. We're going to speculate on what's true and what's not true. And then we're going to talk about how we the people have to solve some of these problems going on in the world. Other times throughout the week, we might have some real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes and me giving

you some real talk. And then we have occasionally 75 hard versus. That's where someone who has completed the 75 Hard program comes on the show, talks about how their life was in disorder and how they got it in check using the 75 Hard program. If you're unfamiliar with the 75 Hard program, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program that you can get for free at episode 208 on the audio feed only. Now, Live Hard and 75 Hard are the world's most popular mental transformation programs, and they're available for free. Now, there is a book. The book is not free, and you can get that at andyfersella.com. It's called The Book on Mental Toughness, and it explains the entire Live Hard program inside and out, plus 10 chapters on mental

toughness, why it's important and how to implement it in your life, along with real life examples of people that you know who have utilized mental toughness to become the people that you recognize today. Now, one thing about this show is we don't run ads. You're going to notice that there's no ads. We are the only show that is this big in the world that does not run ads on the show. So the reason we don't do that is because I don't want to listen to somebody tell me what I can and can't say. I try to keep it real with you guys and I don't want anybody influencing that. So in exchange for us not taking the ads, I just ask very simply that you help us share the show. If the show

makes you laugh, it makes you think, if it gives you a new perspective if it's an important message please share the show all right we're dealing with censorship we deal with traffic throttling shadow bans all the stuff because we talk about all this stuff we're not supposed to talk about so help us get the message out and uh don't be a hoe share the show all right what's up dude getting a little red over there red yeah what are you talking about i'm just looking at the arm like you got a little burned or something i don't get burned i didn't think you did it's not red that looks a little red doesn't it boys do i look red for real just a little bit no that's called tan is that tan yeah that's called tan shut the the fuck up. Yeah.

It might be red. It just looks like there's a red undertone. That's just because I just got done having an annoying conversation. Yeah. You know when the Hulk starts to turn green? I love it, man. When I start getting red, bro, it's time to move along. I get it.

I get it. No, everything is good, man. What's going on with you? Oh, now I'm l, man. When I start getting red, bro, it's time to move along. I get it. I get it. No, everything is good, man. What's going on with you? Oh, not much. Doing the thing, man. Doing everything I can to be better every day. Yeah. You know?

You know, I do want to ask you a question. This is outside of the, I got three good ones for you guys, of course. But I wanted to ask you this. I was thinking about this the other day, man. Because, you know, you were talking, talking you know how you went 10 years basically making zero money right yeah like you talk about that what was that first check like for you what do you mean first check like when you first were finally able to kind of like pay yourself like what what was what was that like after you know i'm saying because you weren't making

what like 700 bucks a month yeah right um what did that first check feel like for you well i mean i had a lot of debt that i had to pay so like the first few checks i never you never really it wasn't like i got money yeah i remember um i bought a new dirt bike oh that's fucking yeah that was cool that's sweet yeah and it was like 10 grand at the time which was like something i've never bought i never bought something for ten thousand dollars without having to like finance it and that was pretty cool you know um and then you know i paid off my debts and uh started saving money and when i got money saved up i started spending money money. And, you know, it was cool, man. You know, it's cool the first time you go from, you know, making just a little bit of money to some reasonable money.

It's a good feeling, you know. It takes a lot of weight off. It takes a lot of pressure off. And I think a lot of people can relate to that you know i think the difference here though is like the fact that you had to you were already you had already built up that discipline like kind of just by default from not making money you know i'm saying so like it didn't you didn't like lose your mind when you started making money i think that's no yeah like dude that's the thing is like even still today like i i only spend like 10 of what i make you know what i'm saying so like but you know and people see my lifestyle.

There's like, no, there's no fucking way. Well, dude, I've been doing this for 25 fucking years. It's a big pie. Yeah. So, you know, it's not, you know, a lot of guys when they're younger, and I was one of these guys too, you know, they're spending their cashflow to live a life. Right. And, you know, once you start to figure out that you know it's better to have

some money in the bank um you get right back to that habit of of being frugal and disciplined with your money and here's the thing about discipline with money is if you're undisciplined when you don't have money you don't automatically become disciplined when you do have it so it's important when you have when you're not making a lot of money to really get into good habits about what you spend and what you save and living within your means or below your means so that your wealth, so to speak, can accumulate and you have the opportunities to do things that actually make you wealthier long-term. you know it's it's discipline and a lot of people think they're going to cultivate that discipline around money once they

start making it and get it yeah and dude that's not the case you and I have had this talk before you know you have as a young person you have to get your discipline in line with the money when you don't have any and then that way whenever you start to get it you you you know you're responsible with it i mean bro look this is just real shit like if i wanted to i could be on a fucking yacht floating around in the mediterranean and not have to fucking even think about shit you know what i'm saying but like there's more work to do yeah and i love what i do i love when i come in here and get to work with the team and with you guys and with the guys around

first form and s2 and the univida guys and like just all the things i'm involved in it's it's you know i can't imagine not doing that you know what i mean there's no amount of money that i would get that would make me not want to do that for sure yeah you know what i'm saying like it's fun dude like we get to come in here we get to create shit we get to build shit we get to help people get better like i mean real talk dude like i don't think anybody has a cooler existence than i do no offense to you guys but like everything we do here for the most part is you know i mean we're building an iconic brand a couple of them you know it's not many people get that opportunity and i'm i'm very very very thankful

for that and people always ask they're like why don't you travel well because i like coming here man yeah you know what i mean i like being around the team i like you do travel you know i'm saying but that's not like the identity that's not you're not gone every fucking weekend i think that most people have a life that they want to escape from i didn't build my life that way i built my life as a life that i want to live in and i enjoy it and i think it's very hard for people to hate their lives to really understand that you know what i'm saying damn that's real man that's real uh well guys andy i got some good ones for you let Let's dive into these questions. Guys, Andy, question number one. Good morning, Andy.

Good morning. I guess it was morning when he wrote it. Yeah. It's not morning right now. I mean, it depends on when they're listening. That's true. Good morning, guys. Good morning, guys.

Andy, I've been listening to the podcast for about a year, and thank you for everything you do, teach, and preach. I'm only 25, but you've given me more knowledge than many of my mentors at this point. I have a question I haven't been able to find in the QNAF feed. How do you deal with a coworker who's a teacher's pet? Brown noser. My shop is mostly full of competitive people who strive to do better and always wanting to reach that next step in life or their career.

My work is well funded and often has a handful of training opportunities or to work with different teams. The issue we're running into is one individual has been getting every single training and work opportunity for quite some time. I'm not the only one noticing it, as others have mentioned it when he is not in the room. Initially, we were wondering if he is simply performing at a higher standard than us, only to come to the conclusion that he actually does less work than most of us, yet is still afforded all of these opportunities. We realized this when he does actually come and work on a project and has no idea what he's talking about

or where to get started. He's constantly in the boss's office and will hang out with them after hours. I loved my job when I first got here, but it's discouraging not being allowed to enhance my skill set when I could very well use these trainings in my day to day to do a better job for my shop. Any help would be greatly appreciated. How do you deal with with this teacher? Well, first of all, I'm just gonna tell you the truth You know 99% of the time people say this shit there in the wrong. All right Okay, do you know why most people become the favorites because they're great at what the fuck they do Okay It's very rare that you just pick some random favorite in your office and give them all the opportunities because

you like them. No, I like motherfuckers that get their shit done, do it with a positive attitude, set the standard for everybody else around them and give it everything they have and produce actual results. And then what happens is I get close to those people because they make my life easier. They take the headaches away. They handle shit. That's usually the case. In my entire 25 years in business, I have never had what he just described. And so the way I'm reading this is you guys who are asking the question

are full of shit, all right, based upon my experience, the reality is, is you probably look at this person and see them and want them to be unskilled and want them to be someone who's not contributing. But if you have a leader of your business and they are trying to win, the people that they are going to be close to are the people who like to win the most as well. And that doesn't mean that they were friends before. That means they became bonded and friendly because they both are aligned in the mission. Do you know who I'm friends with in our company? I'll give you a clue. The best ones. Okay. You know why? Because they're the best. And then we become personal friends and then we go and have a drink or a dinner or a smoke you see what i'm saying so that's usually how it works out now i'm going

to try to address the question even though i think it's bullshit um if that's really the case then you should have a transparent conversation with the boss uh about your frustrations and you should go in there with some documentation all right some evidence evidence because a lot of employees they like to come in and they like to say well it seems like you're favoring so and so and you say okay well why why would you think that well they're in your office all the time well you could come in my office if you want well they're in your office all the time well you could come in my office if you want well they're always here well you don't ask me to do those things well you guys go to dinner well you're not you you you aren't available for dinner right you know

and what happens is because employees like to get in these little culture bubbles and yap together and then they make up these stories that aren't even fucking true and then they hate the boss and they hate the guy and they say it's all about favoritism and then and then they carry that attitude from this place to the next place to the next place creating cancer everywhere they go and the people who run the businesses are smart and they say that guy's cancer we got to work that guy out that's what happens so you know if you really think this is happening document the evidence document all the shit that apparently he doesn't do and go to the fucking superior and say hey man the team and i are kind of feeling like you're

fucking us. All right. This little dude here, he's not doing this and this and this. I got evidence of it. He's got you snowball, bro. We all like him, but like we're, we're high class, hardworking motherfuckers too. Not just that guy. And this is bothering us. And it's creating this in the team, have a real conversation, but you know what? I bet you won't because that takes fucking courage and that takes balls. And most people would rather yippy-yap amongst themselves than to actually address the problem like a grown adult. I feel like a lot of times, too, man, it's like, you know, people,

there's for some reason, man, there's a delayed reaction in taking advantage of the opportunities that come your way. Right? And just because you missed that opportunity, that doesn't mean you can just shit talk everybody else that did take it. You didn't take it. DJ. You had the same training. You know what I'm saying?

That email for those trainings came out to you too. DJ. You know? This becomes the reason that it's like this. And you'll be able to recognize this when I say it. And so will you guys. The reason it's like that is because those people misunderstand the dynamic of opportunity taking. Why do you think it says, take the opportunity?

It doesn't say, receive the opportunity. It doesn't say, have the opportunity granted to you. It doesn't say, get lucky with the opportunity it doesn't say have the opportunity granted to you it doesn't say get lucky with the opportunity it says take the opportunity you know what that means that means you have to seize it that means you have to take it no one's going to give it to you no one's going to come and say here i got this path you can make a million bucks a year or ten million bucks a year If you do no one that's how it works, bro true high achievers They they look for the lane and then they take the opportunity By taking initiative and a lot of people don't like to do that because they do this Well, what if I do all this shit and they don't recognize me?

I'm not gonna put in all this work and you, fucking have them not pay me for my blah, blah, blah. Let me tell you something, bro. That's loser talk. Because here's the reality. If you took the opportunity, you learn the skills, you learn how to solve the problems, and you were actually valuable and your fucking place of business doesn't recognize it. You just learned a whole new set of skills that you could take elsewhere and make more money. You see what I'm saying? So it's fucking take the opportunity. And these people have a misunderstanding of that. They believe that if I show up every day, because they do, they all got parents that think like this. That's what it always comes down to.

If I show up every day and I put in my time and I'm there five minutes after five o'clock and I'm there three minutes before eight, I show up early and I stay late and I go blah, blah, blah. And they're not in there fucking me over. So there's no point to it. So I just won't even try because they're just gonna, they're just gonna do, they're gonna take advantage of me. They're gonna build their company on my on my back You know, I read this thing on the internet about about quiet quitting

You know, I'm just not gonna do my job and you know, we're gonna see how long it I get paid And when they yell at me, I'll do a little extra but that's all I'm doing and that's what the fuck they do That's what they do. Okay, there's a you to understand. I have fucking managed thousands of people. There are two fucking kinds of people. There are the kind of people who say, I'm going to fucking become an asset. I'm going to take advantage of the opportunity. I'm going to take the opportunity. I'm going to be the best. I'm going to put points on the board. I'm going to score fucking touchdowns and I'm going to get fucking paid. And then there's the kind of people who say, if I show up long enough and I'm here long enough, eventually I'll be owed the opportunity.

Those people lose. And it's that simple. I love it, man. I love it. Guys, Andy, question number two. What's up, Andy and DJ? I got a quick question on when to not be heartless but just use my heart less. I think of myself as a driven person.

I love my work and often get obsessed with it to the best I can be and often get made fun of for it by my coworkers. However, often I get called upon for this or that issue by some of them because I pay attention to details and pick up on things. Do I stick to my morals and just be the better person and let them figure it out? I often battle with myself on this as I have grown with a people pleaser mentality, right? So like, what's your take on using your heart or like keeping emotions, I guess, out of certain things

when it comes to this path you're on? Is it a heartless path? Have you found yourself? Look, if you really care about someone, are you going to take it easy on them? Or are you going to tell them, hey, dude, you suck right here. I need you to get better. Are you going to let them have a pass because you like them? Or are you going to look at them and say, hey, bro, I want the best for you.

This needs to be fixed. This needs to be fixed. This needs to be fixed. Okay? A lot of people will take this, I got to use my heart, less because they don't understand the dynamic of what actually caring about someone looks like. Actually caring about someone is not letting someone slide. It's not letting someone get away with less than what they could do. It's not letting someone, you know, flounder and rot and sit around

and just let life pass them by. If you really care about someone, you're going to say, hey, motherfucker, you got a lot of potential, dude, but here's what you're doing wrong. And you need to fix this and this and this, or you're going to be this. And that's what caring about someone actually looks like. Okay. So when you say use your heart less, how I hear that is you're just going to let people flounder versus actually giving a fuck about them and calling them out on their shit. And you're asking the question from a perspective of, well, I've got to use my heart less so I can have more direct conversations. Bro, you got it fucking confused. Okay. Using your heart less will produce a situation for your friends and your employees where they are worse off. Okay. Using your heart more

and realizing what it looks like to use that actually makes you an amazing leader. So I don't buy into this shit about, I got to keep it real with the guys. I got to be, use my heart less. That's not what leadership is about. Leadership is, hey dude, I fucking love you, but like, look, you got to fix this and you got to fix that and you got to fix this or, you know, I'm going to have to make a change. You got to understand I'm here to do this. And as much as I care about you, if you continue to go down this path, there's not going to be a spot for you in the boat.

All right? And I love you, dude. I love having you here. I love who you are as a person. But you got to improve this and this and this. And then that person goes and improves this and this and this. Their life gets better. They make more money.

And then they come to you and they say, thank you. Okay? It's not about making them like you now. It's about making them love you 10 years from now. All right. And that takes some uncomfortable conversations, but I can tell you for sure, dude, if you're in, once you get used to communicating this way and you understand that caring about people equals telling them the truth and giving them good critiques where they can help themselves be better, it's not that hard to do. Okay. It becomes easy to do because you understand the intent behind it.

But when the intent behind it is, well, I got to have a hard conversation with Joe and I know he's going to be upset and I don't want to piss him off and he's my friend. So I'm just going to not say anything to him. Bro, you ain't that guy's friend. You're a fucking, you're, you're actually the opposite of that person's friend so let's get straight on what using your heart more or less actually means I believe all leadership should use their heart more but also make decisions based upon facts not feelings and you can do both all right both can exist just because you use your heart more doesn't mean you know you're going to uh let things slide when the results are very obviously not ideal or less

than what they should be use your heart more in that situation say hey come here what the fuck is this why is this this way here's what you need to do to get this in the right spot you see what i'm saying oh come on man i thought we were boys no we are boys that's why i'm trying to fix your shit so you don't fucking end up broke being a piece of shit over there complaining about how life fucked you over right so we are fucking boys if we weren't boys i wouldn't say shit to you i let you fucking flounder and you know you what you that's what i do that's how i lead okay and i i think it works pretty well yeah all right now let me ask you this on that though andy is there at what point do you have do you have to stop like at what point i mean there's a saying

like you can't well i got like a three i got like a two or three strike dude like if i gotta mention something to someone three times i usually fire them you know what i'm saying if it's not a if it's a performance thing yeah if it's a if it's a moral violation or a culture violation i just fire them right away like no matter how much you you want them to win or do good or succeed if somebody does something unethical they get fired yeah if someone does something because they don't know or their work ethic is off or they're dealing with something personal you get you might get a little chance right but you ain't going to get forever chances right you know what i mean right that's where people yeah because dude when you do lead like that what happens is and ever everybody starts to know that you lead like that they start to take

advantage of you they'll tell you this every time they're not doing something they tell you this sad story about you know how life's not going their way right now or they're struggling right now and at the end of the day i i feel i feel that because i've been through those times too but at the end of the day you got to show up and you got to put points on the board or you don't get to be on the fucking team you think that in the nfl they they let somebody come to and stay on the team that comes in every other week it says bro i'm having mental problems i'm super depressed the mental health i don't do and that's the new thing that's the thing that the that's where they try to leverage it because

if you fucking say no you're not then then you're like an insensitive fucking piece of shit you hate people with ptsd yes well like dude it's not a reasonable excuse we are here to do a thing we are doing that thing we are doing it well and if you cannot do a thing. We are doing that thing. We are doing it well. And if you cannot do the thing well, you cannot be on the team. And yes, you will have certain situations that, you know, like maybe you're going through some shit.

The super killers, the people who fucking kill, they don't, people don't even know what they're going through. They have no idea. They have no idea. You know what I'm saying? Real champions don't bitch about their circumstances. They get the job done either way.

And that's what they do. Every single one person I know that operates on a high level, they handle their shit and they do the thing. And you say, well, you know, maybe they're not happy. Maybe they're not. But they don't fuck up their lives because they're fucking feeling a certain way you know what i mean well i mean i feel like even even just that bro like that that's like a misconception that like i have to be happy to produce

like i have to be in this perfect state of body mind spirit soul to produce and like or listen have you found that to be the truth no i feel like people are liars people lie you know what i'm saying like they they lie about how bad things are for themselves they make up these crazy stories they make it way worse and then they end up imploding because they've told themselves this story so much that they can't even function you know what i'm saying like bro you got to grow the fuck up, you got to grow the fuck up. Like, you got to grow the fuck up, dude. Like, this shit, nobody cares. Nobody really does care, dude.

Nobody cares. You know? Do you think you've produced more in times of darkness than in times of, like, when everything was perfect? I produce more when I'm pissed off. Like, when I have a chip on my shoulder that's when I like the best thing that can happen to me is someone disrespect me or talk shit or one of my competitors slight me or do something like dude that's that's where you're giving me free fucking game and I and like I can take a little bit of that negativity and turn it into a lot of productive action

and uh I operate from the dark side i always have i put the best fucking i put my best shit out when i'm the most pissed off and you know not everybody operates that way but i i don't know the most effective people i know do even if they don't admit it you know the most i've had the chance to interview literally some of the richest people in the world some of the most crazy hall of fame athletes i mean i could go down the list bro like it's it's a true vip of culture people that i've been fortunate enough to to meet and get to be friends with and know and have real conversations with at the highest level of whatever they do and i'm just going to tell you dude this pie in the sky fucking

feel good shit it doesn't exist with those people those people fucking hate their competitors they fucking want to win more than anything nice people they're nice no they will sit down they will sit down with their competitors and drink beer and shit right they know the difference between competition and friendship in In fact, having high competition actually cultivates better friendships. But most people are so fucking weak, they will never figure that out. Okay? But I'm telling you,

dude, I've interviewed these people. I know these people. I'm friends with these people. These are people I fucking talk to when I'm on the phone. These motherfuckers will kill you. Okay? Now, they might go on TV and smile and make jokes and blah, blah, blah. But you put them in a competitive environment, bro, they're out for fucking blood. And that's the reality, dude.

And so, like, yeah, I think hard times actually produce better action when you know how to harness it. But a lot of people don't. A lot of people think, you know, they listen to the internet And they listen to a lot of these, you know, quote unquote mental health professionals who fucking Fill their minds with a bunch of idealistic shit about the way things aren't and should be and never will be and because they never Will be this person spends their life in a cycle of perpetual fucking aggravation and frustration Idealism is terrible for you, bro. You have to be a realist. You're not going to feel good all the time. Things aren't going

to go your way all the time. It's going to be way harder than you think. It's going to take way longer than you think. You're going to be fucked over by everybody that you know. You're going to fucking lose girlfriends. You're going to lose boyfriends. You're going to get sick. You're going to have things happen. And guess what? You still have to learn to operate when those things happen, when life happens. And that's the game, you know? I mean, I think it's required, personally. I love it. young people put far too much emphasis on being happy right now than they do on focusing on a career and a life that they want to build that's going to make them happy. Now, I'm not saying you

have to work your life away, but I'm saying you have to understand that when you're young, that's when you should be building, right? You shouldn't be floating through life, enjoying the fucking weather. Like people who do that, they're going to have to build later and it's going to be harder for them to build or they're not going to end up with anything. So they won't have the life they want. They won't have the, the, the shit they want in life. And they're going to say, well, what happened? Well, you ran out of time because you used all your time doing these other things and that's okay but don't be mad that you didn't get something that other people have when other people fucking invested

their time differently when you were out sniffing the fucking roses you see what i'm saying it's real shit like dude i get a lot of i get i get people say comments to me all the time you know like i had this dude message me and he's like andy i love your i love your shit but dude i'm gonna tell you what the last thing i ever want to see when I come home from work is your fucking car collection. It pisses me off. Well, fuck bro. Sorry. It makes you mad. What'd you do for the last 25 years? Cause I'll tell you what I did. I did the same shit you see me doing now for 25 years. And I bet if I were to go back and play your fucking tape, it looks a lot different than my tape. Okay.

And when we go back and we say, okay, well, what have you done for the last 25 years between eat, breathe shit and complain? I bet people have a hard time saying anything. 25 years. What have you done for 25 years? Besides breathe the air, be alive, eat and shit. What? Tell me one fucking thing and if you

could tell me one thing then fine but you can't i've been doing this for 25 years i don't give a fuck what you think of my lifestyle fucking love it right oh if i didn't earn it after 25 years hold on who gets it so when do you magically get this When do you magically get to live your life Yeah and you still get these motherfuckers Talking shit you know And they can't come to terms with the fact That for

All those times when I was doing all that Shit they were out doing other Shit and then they're mad today That they don't have the result that I have You can't do that That's not reality bro and if you're gonna today that they don't have the result that i have you can't do that that's not reality bro and if you're gonna think that way you're fucking loser that's real shit man that's real guys andy our third and final question andy question number three hey andy i'm 26 and i'm seeing some of my friends doing really well in their careers and starting families

getting married and i've been focused maintained in my lane and starting families, getting married. And I've been focused, maintained in my lane, and I'm continuing to improve myself every day. Here's the issue, though. I feel like I'm starting to get some jealousy that is sneaking in. This is actually great, at least right off of this question we just had, man. I'm feeling some jealousy that is starting to sneak in. And I can't tell if i'm more mad at myself for not having any results yet uh or if i'm just genuinely pissed at them for winning i just want some clarity on this bro thank you this is perfect let's go back and play your tape what'd you do on your tape what they do on their tape it's no different than nfl game tape bro what'd you do what'd they do did you

do the same things they did and you end up with a different result? I highly doubt it. I highly doubt it. I don't think that happened. I don't think you showed up and did the same things they did and you just got screwed out of the result. That's not what happened. What happened was they did different things. You did different things. The things they did produced a result. The things you did did not produce the result and now you're mad about it so you have to understand it's practical okay one you can learn what are they doing and how do i get better and how do i do it better two there is a literal law like gravity all right and you may argue with me that is this is that's hocus pocus well i don't know people thought gravity was hocus pocus well i don't know people thought gravity was hocus pocus for fucking a thousand fucking nine thousand years before it was

discovered okay um so here's the deal it is what the fuck it is if you hate on people's success you're not going to have any that doesn't just have to be verbal either it's inside of you all right so you have to learn how to be happy for people's success how i deal with that is i look at other people and i think very simply what one man can do another can do so when i see someone winning bigger than me i look at them and i say okay what are they doing different i think it's awesome that they're winning how how can i win like that how can i win bigger than that and that's how i think about it i don't think about it like no because i look at it and i say that is literal undeniable proof that i can win too so why would i be upset about that you see what i'm saying yeah yeah let me actually because i

mean like i was reading this and like i mean he's young is it also possible bo that like the plants just haven't like butted up through the fucking soil yet man well i mean look dude there's only real two real things that that can be going on if if you are maintaining and improving yourself and if you're doing the work and you're actually working hard and you're doing things the right way and you're executing there's only two reasons that shit hasn't materialized one you could be working the wrong plan which is why you need to look at everybody else's success objectively and not emotionally all right you got to look around and say okay what's that guy doing what's this guy doing over here that seems to work why doesn't that work and you need to become a student of what works and what doesn't work okay in a practical way so if you're clouded by emotion as to you know when i look at someone who's winning bigger than

me and i'm like fuck fucking hate that guy i can't see the technique clearly which keeps me from understanding what the real plan should be right and then the second the second part of that is you you maybe haven't been working the plan long enough. And this is a big problem. Most people have a very disconnected viewpoint of what it takes versus what it actually takes. And I believe that this is because of all the deceptive marketing on the Internet. Get rich now. It's easy. Buy my course and I'll make you a millionaire in fucking six weeks. Do this. Do that.

Work from anywhere. Have no worries. Be your own boss, bro. All of this shit is nonsense. It's nonsense bullshit. And it sets an expectation for people that is unrealistic about the amount of time, about how hard it's going to be, about what it's going to actually take. And for that reason, these people who go down the path, they think they're

doing something wrong too early. All right. And that's a very difficult thing to know if you don't know. Right. How do I know I'm working the right plan? All right. Well, I got to look around here without getting emotional. How do I know if I'm doing it long enough? Well, how long did it take him? How long did it take him? How long did it take the guys you really fucking admire? Not these internet boners that tell you all this shit. Right. Okay. How long are the real guys telling you it takes? And we get ignored. People like me get ignored for the favor of quick and easy and fast, but you're going to know, and you're going to find out that I'm right. And you're going to waste fucking years chasing something that doesn't exist. There is no easy way. There is no fast way. Those things are the anomaly. And guess what? Motherfucker, you ain't the anomaly. Okay. So while it might've worked for this guy and he invested in crypto in 2010, and now he's a billionaire, that's him, not you. Okay. While it may have happened in, you know,

two years for this guy, because he developed some proprietary technology or proprietary product that just took off, or he had, you know, an immense amount of celebrity and was able to market the product. Guess what? That is not the norm. to market the product guess what that is not the norm that's the anomaly and that is not who the fuck you are you're a regular motherfucker that's gonna have to build it from scratch it's gonna have to grind it the fuck out and that's gonna take a long time that's not gonna happen in six months bro so so look at the plan analyze the plan unemotionally what's that person doing that's working? What's that person doing that's not working?

How can I improve upon that? Am I doing my plan wrong? How does it compare to the plans that are working? And then make a decision about what plan you're going to work and then realize that when you get tired, it's going to take a million miles more from that point on. So the greatest things in the world were built by tired people. When you get tired, it's going to take a million miles more from that point on. All right? So the greatest things in the world were built by tired people.

All right? I know you're tired. I know it's hard. I know you're exhausted. The fucking wonders of the world, guess who they were built by? Exhausted people. The buildings that you admire, guess who they were designed by and built by? People that were tired.

Everything great in the world was built by tired motherfuckers. So it doesn't matter if you're tired. You just have to keep going. I love that, man. I feel like there's something else here too, man. Like even just analyzing this, and I know you touch on this quite a bit, man, but it's like something to just ask yourself, dude, like is what you're actually seeing real?

You know what I'm saying? Because it's easy to portray things are all good and you know perfect you know family house kids cool but like is it real like is is that is there any really any substance there you know when you're when you're looking out like you got to verify that stuff is is that stuff actually even real what you're seeing what you think you're well this is what i ask people to do i ask people to to examine you know there's so many wealth life business coaches out here that don't haven't done anything but sell a program about that okay so why do they have nice because they're selling people like you these courses that tell them how to do that that person has

never done so you have to do your due diligence. You have to ask yourself, who is this person really? Do they actually have a business? Are they actually where I want to be? Do they have customers? Can I use their product? What do their employees say? How many employees do they have? Where's their headquarters? Where's their place of business? Do they have a real business or is it this one of these magical, you know know i own 50 companies and you can't figure out which ones they are right with a po box yeah bro look dude a lot of these people are fucking liars that's just the fucking reality of it okay so you have to ask very basic questions to keep yourself from getting fucking taken advantage of and you know i see people complaining about well this guy

took advantage of me well this did he really because you knew in your heart and in your soul that that was a quick easy way and what it really tells me is that you're just like that motherfucker you you want to do the same thing that motherfucker's doing you want to tell people this shit works super fast and you want to charge them a bunch of money and you want to have your money that way well you deserve to fucking lose you see what i'm saying so like dude this shit it's not that hard to verify the difference between someone who's actually done it and someone who pretends to have done it i mean it's maybe it's hard for the younger guys to be able to tell but i mean it's very easy for me to tell.

Yeah, for sure. I could see where it would be hard if you didn't know. Yeah, bro, because a Rolex is a fucking Rolex. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying, dude. Ask yourself some of those questions. Go back and listen to those questions. Take a piece of paper out.

Fucking write all those questions down. And any person that you consider that you want to help you or coach you, or you want to be a part of their thing, write the answer of those questions that I just gave you down on the right side of the paper next to the questions and the motherfuckers that have an answer for all of them. Those are people you can learn from. Yeah.

I love it, man. I love it. Well, happy Monday guys. Guys, Andy, that was three.

Yeah. Let's go kick some ass this week, all right? Don't be a hoe. Share the show. Yeah.