REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 763. Q&AF: Winner's Mindset, Rewarding Yourself & Discounts For Family And Friends

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on what kind of mindset you need to be successful in life and business, when it's an appropriate time to reward yourself without feeling like you'll spiral into bad spending habits, and the best way to be more firm and assertive when it comes to not giving family and friends discounts.

What is up guys, it's Andy Priscilla and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the Qs and we give you the answers. Now, you can submit your questions a couple different ways. The first way is, guys, you can email these questions in to askandy at andyfercella.com, or you go on YouTube in the comments section on the Q and AF episode, drop your question

in the comments. We'll pick some from there as well. Now, if you're new to listening to the show, we have shows within the show. Okay. Tomorrow we're going to have CTI today. We're having Q and a two different kinds of shows. CTI has cruised the internet. That's where we put topics on the screen topics of the day. We speculate on what's true on what's not true, and then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times throughout the week, we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk, all right? Other people might call it a rant, but it's always highly useful information.

At least I think it is. And then we have 75 hard versus. That's where someone who comes on the program, who has completed the 75 hard program, talks about how they were before, how their life is now, and how they've used the 75 hard program to get their life realigned. All right. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the live hard program which is the world's most popular mental realignment program in history and but guess what it's free all right you get that at episode 208 on the audio feed for free it's not on youtube only on the audio feed there is a book available at andyfrusella.com called the book on mental tough, which outlines the entire Live Hard program, top to bottom, including 75 hard plus 10 chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, and how you can build it to build your best life.

It also includes case studies from some very famous people that talks about how they use mental toughness to become the very famous people that you admire. That's andyfrasella.com, The Book on Mental Toughness. It's not required because you can get the whole program for free at episode 208. But if you're someone like me who likes the ins and outs and all the details, the book is a tremendous resource. We sell it out almost all the time. Now, with that being said, we do things a little bit differently here. All right. We don't run ads on the show. You're not going to hear me talk about a bunch of shit that

I don't use that someone's paying me to say that I use. We talk about things that matter here. We don't run ads on the show. You're not going to hear me talk about a bunch of shit that I don't use that someone's paying me to say that I use. We talk about things that matter here. We talk about things that are important and we talk about things that the Internet doesn't really like us talking about. All right. And so I don't run ads on the show because I don't want to answer to these knuckleheads and you know about what I say and what I don't say. All right. We keep it real here. That's why it's called Real AF. And in exchange for that, I ask very simply that you support us back by my shit. All right. We keep it real here. That's why it's called Real AF. And in exchange for that, I ask very simply that you support us back. Buy my shit. All right. Support our companies. I appreciate that. But most of all, help us share the show. All right. We get traffic throttles, shadow ban. We get messed with all the time with all these platforms for saying the stuff that needs to be said. And so we need your help getting the show out and that means pay the

fee it means share the show all right if you don't share it the message doesn't get out so if it makes you think if it makes you laugh gives you a new perspective it's information that you think needs to be heard don't be a hoe share the show all right what's up dude what's going on brother not much yeah how's everything hanging it's fucking long and thick baby oh wrong guy everything else is going good yeah that's good sweet man a little monday a little monday sauciera yeah uh yeah to no surprise i have some good ones for you oh you do yeah i do okay got some good ones here all right we're gonna get right into it get better this week yeah? Yeah, let's do it, man.

You know, I always like starting a week off with some personal development, how to get better stuff. You know what I like starting my week off with? Something to eat, probably. Yeah. That's how I start my days. I was going to say racism, but. Oh, yeah. That's tomorrow.

That's tomorrow. Yeah, that's tomorrow, show. Yeah, man. Let's make some people better today, though, man. All right. Let's knock these out, guys. Andy, question number one. What's up, Andy? tomorrow's show. Yeah, man, let's make some people better today, though, man. All right. Let's knock these out, guys. Andy, question number one. What's up, Andy?

What's up? Andy, I work for a small blue-collar business right now, and I'm learning the trade, and I have some years in already. I've come a long way since the beginning. I'm learning on the job, reading at home, and doing all the correct things to progress. I will start my own business in less than two years. The question I have is, I use wanting to put my boss out of business as fuel

to push me, and I want him to have to sell his beach house, his boat, pull his kids from private school, and go to public school. I want his wife to have to get a job i want to absolutely dominate in my trade where people in the same trade across the surrounding areas will see me and hate me because i crush it that hard am i fucked up for having this mindset we gotta talk about mindset let's do it is that is that a a productive mindset to have uh to get going fuck man not the kids bro listen that motherfucker's trying to eat that man's dinner off of his table while it's still hot all right i can relate to that yeah all right now here's what i'm gonna say i wouldn't make it your boss okay your boss is doing you a service your boss is showing you the ins and outs you may not

like everything that he says or doesn't say but you should value and respect the man for giving you an opportunity to learn what it is you're trying to learn. With that being said, having the motivation that you're talking about is called being motivated from the dark side. All right. I definitely would recommend not making your boss the enemy because the truth of the matter is, is this dude probably has so much more experience and so much money and so much more resources and connections that if you go out on your own, you say, I'm going to be gone now let's talk about this for the for the minute all right dark energy is highly underrated it is the most powerful the most brutal the most effective form of motivation that you could ever have it's the shit that'll get you out of bed when you don't feel like doing anything else and that's something that is never really talked about amongst, you know, the internet feel good gurus or the people out here who say, oh, I'm not in competition with anybody. Bro, the reality is, is you are, you absolutely are in competition. There is a competitive nature to the reality and it's okay to be motivated by wanting to step on motherfuckers throats to win.

Some people are just motivated that way. And I know there's all these positive people out here who say, well, I'm not here to prove them wrong. I'm here to prove my supporters right. Well, in the beginning, you don't have any supporters, motherfucker. You know why? Because you never did anything. You've never shown anybody anything that you can do.

You've never displayed that you're capable of doing anything. And so you don't have any supporters. So what are you going to do? I'm going to go out and I'm going to show my mom that I'm exactly who she thought I was. That's, is that, is that powerful or is it more powerful to say, Hey, fuck all these motherfuckers. I'm going to go out and I'm going to become the baddest motherfucking business owner that ever existed. And by the way, if you don't like it, I'm going to run you the fuck over. And then I'm going to stomp on your dick afterwards. What's more powerful? I'm going to prove my mom right. Or I'm going to drink from the fucking skulls of my enemies. What's more powerful? What makes you want to go more? I can promise you a hundred percent of you, if you're being honest, you're

going to say the second one. You just don't want to say it because it's not culturally approved and it sounds aggressive and it sounds toxic. No, toxic is losing. Toxic is being broke. Toxic is being a waste of a human being because you lack the courage or the understanding or the skill set of how to get you up, get you in motion, and build the ultimate version that you were meant to be on this planet, okay? That's toxic, all right? Toxic is not, I want to fucking score 100 motherfucking goals, and I don't want them to score any.

I get that. Bro, I am offended. I am personally fucking offended that anybody wants to compete with me. Now, in reality, do I understand? Yeah, I get it. They're competitors too. I'm not the only competitor. I don't dislike these people that want to compete with me, but I am offended that you think you could toe the line with me, bro. And I'm going to give you everything I got. And I'm going to fucking stomp on your fucking face. And after I stomp on your fucking face and you realize I've stomped your face, I'm going to pick you up. I'm going to say, I respect you, bro, for showing the fuck up and giving me all you got. You made me better because dude, real competition. Some of the best friends that I have are people that I've been

competitive with in the past and I push them. They push me. And if you have a true champion mindset and you have the ability to really become a champion in the way that you think you will start to value your competition above everybody else because they are pushing you to improve so if you have people that you know that are pushing hard to compete with you you can look at it one of two ways you could be like fuck, fuck that motherfucker. I hate him. Or you could say, fuck dude, Steve's doing a good job, man. I got to fucking get better. I got to evolve. I got to get my game better. I got to do a better product. I got to push harder. I got to this. And bro, once you start to have the belief and the faith in yourself that you will respond to competition positively because you're a competitor, you like when other people push you

because without that push you wouldn't get where you're trying to go so we have to learn how to balance all of these things because the truth of the matter is is if you run hot because i run hot naturally bro that's my natural setting my natural setting is all the way up bro and when i was younger that would make me angry like Like it would burn me. It would burn me. Like I get pissed all the time. I'd be fucking furious all the time. And it's no way to go through life. Okay. As I got older, I started to realize that like, holy shit, bro, these are the most valuable people in my life. These people that push me, these people that push me to be better because they're pushing themselves. And I started to respect my competition in a better way.

Now, do I still want to smash their faces? Yeah, but I'm not trying to take their fucking house away. I want to compete at a regular level, and I want to see who's fucking smarter and who's more effective and who wins. And that's what competitiveness is about. And I have massive amounts of love and respect for the people that compete with me. I'm friends with most of them. Uh, and we're friends because of what I've been saying, you know, they, they push you to be better. I value that they value that. And we all get

better together. You know, they say a rising tide raises all ships. I think there's a lot of truth to that, but when you're young, it's hard to believe that because none of you have anything, nobody has shit. So you're looking at everybody else and you're like, fuck that guy. Fuck this guy. I'm going to smash this person. And dude, sometimes that's the attitude that's going to get you through. So I don't think it's a bad thing to have. I think you shouldn't have it towards your boss. I think your boss will step on your nuts and probably put you out of business before you even get going. If you, if you make it like that like that um because i've done that plenty of times that's the truth yeah it just sounds like it like it sounds it could be be pretty toxic like you just walk through the

office your boss is like hey you know joe how you doing fuck off like oh wait yeah yeah you shouldn't if that's your attitude towards him you shouldn't be there you should go somewhere else but like you know look there's a lot to be said for the dark side, bro. And your mentality should be, I'm going to take every single thing that someone says. I'm going to take every smart ass remark. I'm going to take every eye roll. I'm going to take every comment of disbelief. And I'm going to remember who the fuck said it.

I'm going to remember where I was when they said it. And I'm going to remember how it made me feel when they said it. And I'm going to take all of that shit. And I'm going to put it up here in they said it and I'm going to remember how it made me feel when they said it. And I'm going to take all of that shit and I'm going to put it up here in a huge motherfucking chip on my shoulder. And when I don't feel like going and when I'm having a hard day and when I would rather sit on my ass and do what I'm supposed to do, I'm going to think back to what those people said or what they did or them laughing or them making fun of me. And I'm going to use that to push me into action. And that is where the dark side works. And people who don't get it, don't get it. All right. But I

can tell you this, every motherfucking champion, every single one, fucking Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, fucking all the greatest achievers, fucking Steve Jobs, all of them have tremendous amounts of dark energy. And that's what they operated on. And they might be able to compartmentalize it and say, hey, I know to win, I have to practice this, right? Because a lot of people get wrapped up in this dark energy and they get so consumed with it that they forget what it is that makes them great at what they do. So they forget their skill set. They forget they got to put in the reps. You have to delineate.

I'm taking energy from here and I'm going to do this productive action over here because it's moving me forward. You can't just pout and scream and kick your fist and say it's not fucking fair because guess what? It isn't fucking fair. It's never going to be fair. It's never been fair. And you screaming and throwing a tantrum about it is irrelevant. No one cares. The world doesn't care. God doesn't care. Your family doesn't care. It's not fucking fair, motherfucker. Get that through your brain. Okay. Now take all of the negative shit, all the shit your parents said, all the shit your cousin said, all the shit your friends and family said, all the laughter, all the doubts, all the eye rolls, all the shit your girlfriend said, and start to fucking remember that shit.

Don't memory hole it in some place and forget about it and say, oh, my trauma. No, say, hey, fuck you for not believing me. Now I'm going to go out. I'm going to use this energy to become so big so successful so powerful so undeniable that when i walk in the room you look at the fucking floor that's what you want to be i love it i love it uh guys and andy uh question number two uh andy i know it has been asked and answered uh before about when you thought it was the right time to reward yourself by buying your first Lambo. But did you ever worry that the justification for buying it will lead you to a

slippery slope where you would start splurging after being financially responsible for quite a while? I worry about it as a cheat day on a diet that turns into a 10 month long buffet. I have always been diligent with saving my money, which my parents always reinforced. But I've started to look at a 10 year Ford Mustang GT 500 at thirty five to forty thousand dollars. But I have a nagging voice in my head that tells me I'm going to start spending everything if I pull the trigger on that purchase um totally debt free you know income's fine um and he has a nice uh ford f-150 now but did you ever hear the same voice i guess that that same uh like haunting voice i guess that you know this yeah yeah look dude it's normal to have

those reservations when you first get in a place where you could start to afford those things. Okay. When I, when I first started being able to afford a couple of things, I didn't go straight into Lamborghini. I started looking at a seven 50 BMW because I always loved BMWs. All right. And I love the big body beamers and I, Sal and I both, and my dad, we all like them. And I looked at that and I remember going and looking at that and then calling my dad afterwards. And I'm like, dad, pretty much the same thing. What this person's saying, I'm like, dad, I don't know, you know, if I should get this, like, what are people going to think? What am I like? I started agonizing over this whole ordeal. And his answer was simply, he's like, you'll know when it's right, when, when it's time. And, uh, and he did, and he was right. I didn't pull the trigger that time, but

a year or two went down the road and, you know, it w it was like, things kept getting better because I kept doing better and I kept doing more. And, um, and I also know, cars to me are a passion hobby. When I was younger, I'm just being honest, I probably spent more money on cars than I should have, like any true car enthusiast. But I enjoyed it. And it made my life, it gave me something in my life that I loved and enjoyed outside of just working all the time. And I think there's a lot of things to consider about this. One, you have to experience these things to attract more of them. If you work your whole life and save all your money and then buy, you know, a 2014 GT 500, which by the way, those are great fucking cars. A lot of car for the money.

I could do a podcast just on cars, like every day. But anyway, that's a beast of a car. I actually had one. I gave it away to one of us. That's the same one you,

okay. I had a Super Snake, but it was, I gave it to one of our guys as a reward. And I still look at it, I'm like, fuck, that thing is awesome.

But anyway, you have to touch it. You have to feel it. You have to experience it. I'm like, fuck, that thing is awesome. But anyway, you have to touch it. You have to feel it. You have to experience it. You have to taste it for it to become reality. And at certain points in time during your life, you know, you also have to ask yourself, OK, am I denying myself this because it's what the regular people tell me to do? And I really doesn't make a difference to me. Or is this

something that enhances the quality of my life? You know, we have a lot of guys like Dave Ramsey, who gives a lot of really good advice, bro. But one of the things he talks about is, you know, you should drive an old beater car, right? Okay. Well, that's cool. If you're not into cars, dude, I get it, but I am into cars and cars for me enhance my quality of life And while you may not understand that any car enthusiast will you know, I play with Hot Wheels my whole life I had played with fucking micro machines Like I am a car enthusiast like half the time when you and I are hanging out in the garage I'm walking around looking at the cars right there my cars I'm getting me driving like shit man. This is cool Yeah

Like dude, how many times do I what, what do I say every fucking time? Every fucking time you get out, man. What do I say? That's fucking awesome. I fucking love this car. It doesn't matter which car. Every time I pull up to the house and I get out of the car, I say the same thing. I'm like, fuck, I love that car.

Or I'll say, fuck, I forgot how much I love this car. All right? Because it provides, and like, dude, I get it. You're not into cars. For me, it's part of my life experience. Do I want to drive a shitty little beater every day? Or do I want to drive something that I fucking love, that makes me happy, that makes me smile,

that when I get out, I'm like, fuck, that is awesome? Or do I want to just do the regular thing? And like for car people, the second part of it is a big part. You know, we enjoy driving, we enjoy cars. So my point is, is that I could go on and on about this, but the point to this young person here is that, and I think I know the answer because you wouldn't want that particular car. If you weren't a car person, I think you got to, you know, you got to look at it as, you know, it's, it's a plus to the quality of my life. And what is it going to cost me to enjoy that, you know, and then make sure that's

reasonable within your budget. And as far as like splurging and shit, uh, I don't know, we'll find out bro, but like, I wouldn't do that because then you won't have any cars, you know what I'm saying? So part of managing, you know, cars is, is managing your cashflow and making more money and fucking making sure, you know, that you can afford them. And so sometimes for a lot of people, when they have a little bit more pressure, they're actually more productive on their offensive side, meaning they'll make more money. Right. So pressure's a good thing sometimes, especially when it, you you know drives you to work harder like for me dude like real talk man outside of cars my my tastes and hobbies are

pretty normal i mean i don't you know i don't really care i mean yeah dude like nowadays like i smoke the best cigars and but like i don't give a fuck i I'd smoke fucking Swiss or sweets. I don't give a shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, cars are the only thing I truly cared about for the first, you know, 10, 15 years of my business until I figured out that I actually care way more about the people I do it with. But that was a maturity thing. When I was younger, it was about me. And as I've gotten older, I realized, well, fuck, dude, I'm this car shit won't matter I want to help build these I want to help build these families. I want to help build these these people up I want to help these people get where they need to be And that's that's a that's how I see business now

Which actually made us a lot more effective in business in every business, right? How do we serve the customer that benefits them the most? But in the beginning, you know, whenever we were starving, dude, and we went years and years and years, people don't realize, you know, the internet wasn't a thing. Social media wasn't a thing. Ecom marketing wasn't a thing. So the first 10 years of business, like I didn't have, I wasn't able to like set, you know, Ecom campaigns to go in this zip code. Like I had to go door to door, bro. Or I had to fucking run super expensive radio ads because super expensive radio ads were the only way you get your word out. My first 10 years, I made $58,380 for my first 10 years in business combined.

My first three years, I made none. The next seven years, I made $695 a month. That was my income for my first 10 years of running my business. And during that time, it was very difficult because I didn't have much reinforcement. Like imagine what it would take for you to show up for 10 years straight and not really make any money, like you would have to have some serious goals and dreams and ambitions for yourself to deal with that much desert, right? Where you're not drinking, you're not eating, you're not, it's not going well. And for

me, cars helped me get through that time. Okay. So like when, every time I wanted to quit or every time I felt like it was time to, you know, close it up and do something else, you know, I had goals, bro. I had, I had visions. I had cars I wanted to buy. I had a lifestyle I wanted to live. And a lot of guys, you know, they shit on that because they've been outside of that phase of entrepreneurship for so many years that they've forgotten about it. But like in the beginning, bro, like all you got is the shit you want for yourself. You know, very few people start off on day one and they say, I want to build this huge movement that changes all these people's lives. I didn't fucking do that.

Now, that's what I love now. I love it. Yeah, that's where you are now. Bro, I could afford any car. I could fucking do anything I fucking want to do. Any fucking thing I want to do. Not without exception. Boat, yes. Plane, yes anything I fucking want to do. Any fucking thing I want to do. Not without exception. Boat, yes. Plane, yes. Doesn't matter. Anything. I love coming here because I

have fallen in love with building for my people and us building for our customers. And that goes for every business I'm involved in. It's fun to be good at business by solving people's problems and then having them be appreciative for it. That really matters, especially when we talk about like what we do here, which is get people in shape, help people make money, you know, and fucking do it in a very positive, you know, productive way that changes people's, you know, fucking family tree, dude, if we're being honest. There's very rewarding. But in the beginning, bro, you don't think like that.

In the beginning, you're like, fuck, dude, I don't even have fucking 250 bucks. I don't even have a fucking house. I drive this fucking old piece of shit. This is embarrassing. No girls like me. No fucking blah, blah, blah. I got to fix this. Right.

And so it becomes what can I get for my myself? But what was funny for me and the way that this flipped over for me was we got to a point where we were going to close the stores and kind of get out of trying to do first form. And, uh, I was going to go clean carpets and Chris was going to join OCS school and be a pilot in the military. And so we made this plan to, to, to close down the business. And I went to carpet training and got hurt and I hurt my back and I was in bed for about 30 days. And during this time, we started having these discussions about, you know, how we were going to close the store. And basically like he, we both decided, I was like, dude, I don't want to clean carpets that sucks like because I fucking did hate it and even though I could make more money you know

which I could have made more money working at McDonald's I just don't want to do that and he's like yeah I don't want to go to officer candidate school and then we started talking about like what we enjoyed about our business and like what I enjoyed and what he enjoyed was we would have someone, you know, remember back then we didn't have many customers, but we would, we would have someone come in every once in a while and we would get through to them and they would come back in three months or four months, bro, down a hundred pounds, down 70 pounds, you know, six months down 200 pounds and giving you this huge hug,

like fucking tears down their face, talking about how we changed their whole fucking life. And they would go on and on and on about all these things. And I loved that. You can't get that in any other business, hardly at all. And that was what we settled on. And we settled on, we said, okay, well, we'll keep doing this, but we're going to focus on creating that. And once we did that, bro, we grew a hundred percent every year, the next five years. And we've built fucking everything you that. And once we did that, bro, we grew 100% every year for the next five years and we've built fucking everything you see. And it's not just exclusive to a fitness business,

it's exclusive to any business. When you go over the top to serve your customer in the right way, they're going to return the loyalty by telling all their friends and all their family. And bro, it just becomes part of a bigger purpose. And a lot of these guys who have been in business for a long time, friends and all their family. And bro, it's just becomes part of a bigger purpose. And, you know, a lot of these guys who have been in business for a long time, they don't really connect with that

either. You know, it's just all about the money and all about the bro. I don't know how else to make money than to be the best and to over deliver on the solution. I'm not that smart when it comes to how do I, you know, like, dude, I think that's the right way. And clearly, you know, the longevity of our brand speaks for itself. So my point in saying all of this is to say this. It's okay to have material goals. Material goals are awesome. You need to touch, feel, taste, and smell them often. And don't be afraid to stick your toe in the water and, you know, kind of ease your way into it.

And you'll get comfortable. And that will become your reality. And this is the most important part of it. It's my reality now. Okay. Every single fucking day, I drive a different car to work and I could do that for over a month, every single fucking day. My, my reality is getting in a car every single day that I love that I fucking I mean that I paid major price for. But. Nothing else is accepted anymore, like that's the standard and that's where you have to. So so how are you going to raise your standard if you never fucking try to live that lifestyle? So there's arguments to and against it. But, uh, you know, if, if I'm talking to you, I'm saying this, don't be afraid to fucking,

to break off a little coin, because if you're truly the right kind of person, it'll motivate you more. And, uh, you know, people who save and save and save and save and save, they never end up, they never end up being happy that they saved other than in times of crisis and like bro i believe in myself i if times of crisis come i'm going to be able to hack it so uh that's my two cents and it probably goes against a lot of other people's two cents but you know i i i understand the car thing and i think you should i think you should think about touching it and tasting it and feeling it so that you get more of it yeah and it becomes your standard you know i was thinking about this actually just friday when we got uh got back to your house on friday it was like

like the the thought was this like man like you know you could have a really shit day but fuck you get to drive one of these cars home yeah it's not that bad yeah you know i'm saying compared to you'm saying? Compared to, you know, if I'm being told I got to drive a fucking beater. Yeah. Have a bad day on top of that. Yeah. Fucking windows don't roll down. Right. And by the way, bro, how do you know?

How do you know? Which, by the way, I've driven those cars. How do you fucking know? How do you know how bad your beater is if you never test the water or something better? What makes you raise your standard? Right. Right. Like, if you're a young person, you need to consistently stretch out what your standard is

and not in an irresponsible way but in a in a responsible way right if you don't start stretching bro what i'm sure your next goal is to have a fucking ferrari or a lambo or some cool shit that you want. And how are you ever going to get there if you don't start inching your way there? Right. You see what I'm saying? Right. Like I didn't just go straight out the gate and buy a Lamborghini either,

bro. I had a, I had a seven year old Aston Martin with 30,000 miles on it. That was my first exotic car. I paid 60 fucking grand for it. Then I had a V8 R8. Okay. Which was used. I had a bunch of miles on it then i had two 911 turbo

s's which were newer and they had less miles on it then i got my lambo see what i'm saying right so i tested it up until that point no i love it guys any question number three uh Hey, Andy, had a question for you about how to be more firm and assertive. Is this something that can be learned? I'm a newer real estate agent, and I've given a few discounts to people to get deals done in the beginning of my career, but I don't want to do this anymore. My time is valuable, and I realized by doing that it was worth getting some money. But now I'm getting busier and realizing more of my value. I want to be firm with people that I work hard and it does take a lot of time and effort to close deals. What's your suggestion? How do I say no now when someone asks to lower my commission?

I find especially being a younger female that I've always had a harder time with being assertive, but I know that this is something I really need to succeed in my career and make way more money. How do you, how do you develop firmness and assertiveness? First of all, young people struggle with this. Okay. When you first started in business and I was no different, by the way, when I was the owner operator of my initial retail store everybody that i knew that everybody that came in i knew okay what do you think they all wanted no discounts they all wanted a discount bro and and it makes no logical sense because we were starving right and people don't get this like people don't understand first of all never ask your friends in business for a fucking discount. You have no idea how it is not buy this product for a dollar and sell it for $80. That is not what business is like. And we as supporters of our friends in business need to quit expecting to get a deal

from those people. And we need to start instead flip the script and say, you know what? I'm going to pay for every single thing. I'm going to be proud to support my friends. That's the right way for small economic growth and support in the community support to happen. So stop asking people for discounts. You're a douchebag. Secondly, we all have problems with this because in the beginning, they know that we're the decision maker like now if someone wants a discount on anything like I'm so far removed that I'm just like bro I don't even I wouldn't even know how to do that. And, uh, I was no different, man. I had a hard time figuring out how to not give discounts. And I can tell you the exact fucking moment that, that I fucking changed my mind on it. I had a lady come into our retail store. This is when we only had one store. It was probably three or four years into it. And we had this product, was $29.80.

That's what it cost, $29.80 after tax. And this woman came in and she was dead serious. She's like, I can get this for $29.75 down the street. Shut the fuck up. She was dead serious, bro. She wanted me to bend on 15 fucking cents. And I was like, I don't know if i was just in a bad mood or what but like i looked at her and i said well you better go fucking get it yeah and she looked at

me her eyes got super big she couldn't believe i was telling her this but i was so fed up with it and so over it i'm like you need to go down there and she fucking left and went down there and i felt good i was like cool fuck that lady because like bro it's crazy yeah this is what people will do if you put blood in the water they'll want to eat and they don't give a about you stop thinking that these people care about you they do not care about you they care about themselves otherwise they wouldn't be asking for a discount okay so that was a poor way to handle it but that for the sake of discussion, that was when I figured it out. They got you to get it.

Yes. After that, I said no every single time. But there were some tricks that I used to say no to people that I had said yes to before. And I'll use my best one. This is what I always do. People would fucking come to me and they would say, Andy, can I get a, you know, 20% off or 10% off? And I'd be like, look, dude, I said, you know, business is tough and it's competitive and we're busy and I can't afford to give my products away. I don't even give a discount to

my brother and my dad or my mom. Not at all. And when I said that last part, people are like, oh no, dude, I totally get it. And then they just they just they'll come in they don't get offended they will come back in and pay full price and be happy about it but and it's the truth i didn't give a discount to those people so it wasn't like i was lying i just told them who i would and once you explain it like hey you know and another another little hack you can use is when people come to your house and they say, oh, dude, can I do your roof? Nah, man, my brother does that. No, you just put it out. Yeah, right, right, right.

No, that's what he does. That's his job. I can't do that. And then they're like, oh, okay, cool. They fucking leave. That makes sense, yeah. But the point is, is that how do we tactfully address this? Okay, you don't always have to do that. By the way, if you get, if you realize this other part of it, which is no is a complete sentence,

right? It makes your life a lot fucking easier. Shit, man. That's deep. Yeah. It's a complete sentence. No. Like, and it takes a long time. It took me till I was 40 to fucking be able to say no without this paragraph after, after it. But you know, when you deal with enough shit and you have enough people asking you for discounts or this or that, when you deal with enough shit, and you have enough people asking you for discounts, or this or that, eventually, you're like, no, because it pisses you off, because that's what you always deal with. But in this situation, you know, there's plenty of

people that you could push this on, you could push it on your broker, you could push it on the fact that, you know, hey, look, I can't't do that because that means i'm taking up time from where i get paid on my full commission to do this half commission i can't do that i'm too busy and people will understand that you could say um you know hey i i just sold my mom's house dude and i didn't give her a fucking discount yeah you know i'm saying like and kind of those kind of things because a lot of people don't realize what they're asking they have this loose interpretation of what it means to be in business they think because you're in business you're rich they think because you're in business

you're fucking rolling in the fucking coins like uncle scrooge and ducktales bro uh they they don't they don't understand that it's hard and that the margins are small and that we're highly competitive. And then a lot of times as the owner of a business, we're not even getting paid because it goes against the social dynamic that they are presented, which is business owners are rich.

Look at what they're saying about taxes right now. They need to pay their share. Motherfucker, if you go down the line that business owners pay in taxes, it's insane. It's insane that we even have the economy that we have. That's how overbearing it is. So when we break this down into, you know, what it's really like to be an entrepreneur for people, you know, they see it differently. But, you know, you're dealing with people who, you know know they want to save two bucks and brag about it you know 15 cents yeah bro dude for real that's a real story bro that's insane yeah she looked me straight in the fucking face bro and she's like i can get it 29 the guy's name this guy had a store down the street is called uh it was called uh cliff hancock it was called exercise and rehab he ended up being a good dude but we became friends with him later but he sold he was competitive and she said i can get it for 29.75 down at cliffs i said well

you better fucking go get it then that was it came out of my mouth it came out of my mouth so fast yeah like fuck man yeah lady dude i she it was the way she fucking looked at me, dude. Yeah. Like, oh, you're going to sell me this? No, I'm not. I'd rather be poor. Price match? Yeah. Well, that's what they used to do because he did that. He would price match.

But it created this like, and finally I stopped doing it because the game was insane. Yeah. You know? Yeah. But look, man, nose a complete sentence. You know, I gave you some techniques on how to defer responsibility for these decisions, because when you are the front facing business owner and the decision maker, it's very hard to say no and still keep the customer unless you do it a tactful way.

Tactful ways would include, you know, hey, I can't do that because my broker won't let me. Hey, you know, I just sold my aunt's house. I didn't give her a discount. We're not allowed to do that. Three, I'm so busy. If I did that, it would take away from the time that I would do this. And I can't do that. That doesn't make sense. And yeah, you might have some people walk away in the beginning, but the reality is, is eventually in a year, you won't have to deal with that ever again. And that's where it makes sense to make the investment in, in setting a boundary.

Up front, yeah. I love it, man. I love it. Guys, Andy, happy Monday, man. Yeah. Let's go get it. All right,

CTI tomorrow, guys. Don't forget. And let's go kick some ass this week. Yeah. Went from sleeping on the floor Now my jewelry box froze

Fuck a bowl Fuck a stove Counted millions in the cold Bad bitch Booty swole Got her on bankroll Can't fold, that's a no Headshot, case closed