REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 78. The Equation Of Happiness

Episode Date: October 17, 2020

Everybody wants to be happy; unfortunately, not everybody knows what creates happiness. There's no secret, and it does not just come and go from time to time. On today's episode, Andy shares the equation you must understand if you want to create happiness for yourself.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm going to get millions. Watch this. In a project living, spoke it to existence. Voila. Mode changed to 50. Got more cars than did. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. What's up, guys?

It's Andy Priscilla, and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today, I have a real talk for you. It's very, very important. Before I get into that, I want to remind you guys that we don't run ads on this show. We do this show for free. I depend on you guys to grow the show. So I ask that you pay the fee, and the fee is very simple. If you got value out of the show, if it made you laugh, if it made you think, if you learn something, if it made you, uh, have a new perspective on some things, which this one definitely will. I ask that you share it.

Um, whether that be on social media or with your friends or in person, um, that's all we ask. Okay. So the fee is not money. Uh, it's just, you know, some word of mouth doing us a little solid for putting out some good content. And you know what, if the content sucks, don't tell anybody I'm cool with that too. All right. Uh, so whatever you think, you know, give us back in, in goodwill. That's how it works over here. So guys today, I've got something that's really important that I want to talk to you about. You know, there's all kinds of things going on in the world right now. You know, all kinds of disruptions, all kinds of negative things, all kinds of frustrations and division. And, you know, it's really hard to see past the negative that's going on right now.

And regardless of where you stand, where you come from, what race you are, what political belief you are, what nationality you are, we all have this one thing in common. We want to be happy. And the problem is, is that the vast majority of people believe two things about happiness, which both happen to be false. Okay. First off, they believe that happiness is something that just happens to you. Okay. You either experience happiness or you don't, and it comes and goes at will. Okay. It's not something that you can create by your own actions. That's the first thing. That's not true at all.

The second thing that they also believe about happiness that isn't true is that there's some sort of secret to happiness. They think, you know, oh, I've got to be one of the chosen few to know the secret. And, you know, they think, oh, it's probably a super complicated algorithm. That's, you know, a mystical revelation. It's been passed down from person to person, a person to person, but guess what? I can buy it from some bozo on the internet for $3,700 and, you know, become a certified happiness fucking guru, right? That's the two beliefs about happiness that just aren't true. All right.

First of all, it doesn't just happen to you. And second of all, you can't fucking buy it. You got to make it. All right. So let's forget everything that we know about happiness or that we think we know about happiness and let's get in to how to actually create happiness all the time. Now, listen, guys, I've been saying this for years, that success is an equation. It's an equation of math, all right? In my company, we have a saying, talk equals regrets, action equals results, period.

Do the work, get the results. If you're around me for any period of time, if you've been following me on social media for any period of time, you know that I talk about these things consistently. There is an equation and it's very simple. My life is proof that there's an equation for success. And as I tell people all the time, I'm not the most talented or gifted guy on the planet. I don't have access to, you know, special knowledge or resources that no one else has. You know, a lot of guys like to pretend they do. Well, I'm telling you, I don't. Okay.

Here's my secret. Every day I identify what needs to be done. And guess what? I fucking do it. Okay. I's my secret. Every day I identify what needs to be done. And guess what? I fucking do it. Okay. I do the work. I do the work relentlessly. And that's, what's gotten me to this point in life. I just executed on the simple equation. All right. And the same thing is true for happiness. Happiness. Isn't the natural result of experience, you know the quote-unquote perfect conditions A lot of people think that right they think like oh, it's the cards. They were dealt They got the perfect family the perfect job the perfect income the perfect relationship

Oh, they got the perfect place to live. Oh, and they're in perfect health Oh, and there's no physical or mental emotional challenges that go with that at all. They're perfect That's bullshit and we all know it And there's no physical or mental emotional challenges to go with that at all. They're perfect. That's bullshit. And we all know it. Okay. You can have all of those things, literally have all of those things and still be miserable because there's an equation for happiness that needs to be executed against. That's reliable and consistent.

And guess why it's reliable and consistent? Because it's a fucking equation, guys. It's one plus one equals two. 21 divided by seven is going to be three. E equals MC squared. Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared. Always. That's the way it's going to be. It's fucking science. That's how this works. And that's what I'm going to talk to you guys about today. All right. The result for the equation of happiness will always be the same. If you execute the equation, you will get the result. So what's the equation? Why do all these people spend all this money and all this time

looking all over the world for the answer to this? Well, here it is, guys. Discipline plus purpose plus gratitude equals happiness. That's the equation. Discipline plus purpose plus gratitude equals happiness. Okay, so let's start with discipline. If you looked up discipline in the dictionary, it says, and I'm quoting, to train yourself to do something in a controlled and habitual way. But I have a definition that's a lot more simple for us, you know, not brainiacs out there that, and it's more meaningful too. Let's be real. Discipline is the ability to keep the promises you make to yourself. When you say, hey, I'm going to lose a hundred pounds. You keep that make to yourself. When you say, hey, I'm going to lose a hundred pounds. You keep that promise to yourself. When you say, hey, I'm going to scale my business

to nine figures. You keep that promise to yourself. When you say, hey, I'm going to write a best selling book. You keep that promise to yourself. The way you keep that promise to yourself is to consistently say no to your bitch voice when it tries to get you to make excuses. Consistently say no to your bitch voice when it tries to get you to give up. All right. Consistently take action. Consistently execute. You do the work whether you feel like it or not. You do the work whether conditions are good or whether they're the worst they could possibly be. You execute day after day after motherfucking day without compromise, without deviation. You push yourself beyond your comfort zone and you do this for a long fucking time. Long after you have technically nothing left in the tank. Okay. That's what

discipline is. It's doing whatever it takes to keep the promises you make to yourself. When you become the kind of person who knows you are going to keep the promises you make to yourself, do you understand how confident and self-assured you're going to become, there's a peace that comes with this, guys. You're going to experience because you're not worried about what the other factors are beyond your control. You come to understand that you are the biggest factor in your happiness. And if you could control you, if you could keep the promises you make to you, you will be able to all but guarantee that you will succeed in achieving your goals no matter what they may be. That's why discipline is the first factor in this equation of happiness. But the reality is, guys, you're not going to be

able to do what you need to do to keep promises to yourself if you don't know why you want to do it. And that's where the second part of this equation comes in. The second part is purpose. Nobody's going to put in the hard work just for the sake of doing the hard work. Nobody's going to put themselves through hell. Just say, hey, look at me, guys. I was disciplined enough to put myself through hell. Now, at some point, I can imagine, you know, I've got a bunch of endurance athletes that are listening to me right now, probably rolling their eyes. And whether you are one or not, I'm going to go ahead and use this as an example. A lot of endurance guys, and I have a lot of them and I love you guys. Okay. You guys do some incredible things,

but a lot of you guys like to say shit like, you know, well, actually, Andy, I do do these tough things just to prove to myself that I'm tough. Bullshit. Okay. That's not the payoff. That's not why you're doing it. You're doing it because you're able to get together with all your other endurance buddies at parties and puff your chest up and say, Hey man, I did 57 fucking Ironmans. You know, we did that. There's camaraderie. There's, there's community. There's all kinds of great things that come with that that are just not mentioned all the time. It's the image you're seeing that you have in your head when you get to enjoy the glory of, it is a massive achievement that motivates tattoos. That's why you have the picture of you crossing the finish line in your office. And you should. Just like there's not a person on this planet who wants to be disciplined just for the sake of being disciplined.

That's like saying, I want to be an NFL athlete just to play in the game. And I don't really care about winning. Or I want to be a soldier, but I don't care about winning the war. Right? Okay. So let's be real. Discipline is not an end. It's a means to an end.

When I do everything I can to resist eating the fucking peanut butter in the middle of the night in my kitchen, it's not just to say, yeah, for me, I defeated the peanut butter, right? That's not what I'm trying to do, guys. It's that I know that I have to cultivate the discipline to resist the peanut butter so that I can achieve my ultimate goal, which is to crush all my fucking goals and win big at everything I do. Okay. It's a means to an end. And if you don't know why you want or need to do the hard things, guess what? You're probably not going to do them. That's why it's critical for

your happiness to understand what your ultimate purpose is. It's critical that you have a clear picture in your mind of exactly what it is you want in life, right? To be happy, you have to be disciplined. To be disciplined, you have to be purposeful and you have to know why you're executing. You have to visualize your purpose and see it clearly in your mind's eye because that's what creates the motivation and drives your discipline to execute. If you want to be obsessed with doing the hard work it takes to keep promises to yourself, you have to be disciplined and you need to be possessed by your sense of purpose. It's as simple as that. All right. So the equation of happiness so far guys is, is discipline plus purpose. All right. But there's one more part. And that part is gratitude, discipline plus purpose

plus gratitude equals happiness. All right. And when you think of it like this. If happiness was a coin, on one side, it would be the ability to get what you want. And on the other side, it would be the appreciation for what you already have. That's the side of happiness that people like you and me really need to make sure we don't neglect. I'm talking about driven, ambitious, hungry people, high achievers, people who want to crush massive goals on a daily basis. It's good to want that. It's good to have dreams and goals. It's good to want to pursue your own true full potential. If you remember the ax analogy that I use often, I always talk about, you got to keep the ax sharp. You got to keep hitting it in the right spot consistently. You got to keep

swinging long after you get tired and sore and blisters on your hand. It's so important to keep pushing forward on our goals. But the reality is if you're always looking to the future, if you're always working towards something, you never take the time to appreciate what you have and enjoy what you have right now. Guess what? You're going to go fucking insane, guys. You're going to be miserable. That's why you have to create a ritual in your life for expressing gratitude consistently. You've got to form a daily habit of giving thanks. For me, if you follow me, you know that I do this when I brush my teeth. Okay. Whenever I brush my teeth, I take the time

to identify the things I'm thankful for. My dogs, my friends, my family, my health, my companies, the cool people at my companies that have become an amazing part of my life. The cool shit I've been able to experience like driving a race car or speaking in front of huge crowds. Not everybody gets to do this kind of life, man. And I'm incredibly thankful for it. And I never go even an hour without being thankful for it. That's the truth. Okay. And here's the kicker. Even if a lot of these good things in your life are the result of your hard work, you still need to consider them gifts. Okay. You can't take them for granted. You have to value them purposefully and you have to be super grateful for them because if you don't literally take the time every day to identify the great things in your life and say, thank you. You know what

happens? You know what the opposite of gratitude is? It's entitlement. The opposite of giving thanks is complaining. If you're not a thankful overachiever, you're going to become a complaining little fucking bitch with a victim mentality. That's the truth. Okay. We see it everywhere right now. If you're not cultivating good habits, you're gonna slide into bad ones Have you ever met a person who was ungrateful but also extremely happy? No, you haven't because it doesn't exist But gratitude and happiness go hand in hand and that's the final part of this equation that you've been searching your whole life for discipline plus purpose plus

gratitude equals happiness. The ability to get what you want and the appreciation to love what you have, it all adds up and the equation is foolproof. Plug in the parts, execute the equation and you'll get the results. And this isn't a one time for all time thing either. Can't just do this one day and expect to have happiness. This is like a shower. You got to take it every day, right? It's an equation for every day of your life. If you do it every single day, every day can be a great day. Not a pleasant day, not a perfect day, not a pain-free day, but still a great day. A day that in spite of whatever might have went wrong, you were still happy to be alive.