REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 783. Q&AF: Feeling Like A Fraud, Turning Employee Into Leader & No Man's Land

Episode Date: September 23, 2024

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to deal with feeling like a fraud after getting into a position you think you might be under-qualified for, the best way to turn an employee into a leader in your company, and how to find someone or something to unload the pressure you feel when you're the one everyone relies on.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q&AF. We always start the week off with some good get better information. Now, if you want to have your questions answered on the show, you can go about that a couple different ways. The first way is... Guys, email these questions in to askandy at andyfrasella.com. Or you go on YouTube on the q and a f episodes drop your

question in the comments and we'll choose some from there as well now through the week we're going to have different shows within the show all right tomorrow we're going to have cti that stands for cruise the internet that's where we put topics of the day up on the screen we speculate on what's true on what's not true and then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world other times we're going to have what's called real talk. Real talk is just me giving you five to 20 minutes of what I think is some real talk. We cover, you know, anything from personal development to what's going on in the world. You never know what you're going to get there, but we keep it real. And then we have 75 hard verses. Now, 75 hard verses where someone who

has completed the 75 hard program comes on the show. They talk about how they were before, how they were after, and how they've used the 75 hard and the live hard program to transform their life. Now, you can get the full live hard program. And if you didn't know, 75 hard is just the initial phase of that for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. If you're unfamiliar with the live hard program, it is the number one world's most popular mental transformation program in history. Okay. And you get that episode 208 on the audio feed for free. Now there is a book called the book on mental toughness, which includes the entire live hard program, which is good. It's more in-depth.

It's for people that need to know the nuts and bolts and all the details, like me. And then it also has a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how to develop it, and how to use it in your life, along with a number of case studies on some famous people who have used mental toughness to become the famous people that you recognize. You can get that book at andyfrusella.com. Now, one thing you're going to notice about the show is we don't run ads on the show. We are, and I'm very confident about this, the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads. And the reason that we don't run ads is because we keep it real here. And I don't want to listen to people telling me what I can and can't say or what I can and can't talk about. And in exchange for that, I ask very simply that you guys help us share the show, okay?

We're constantly dealing with censorship, throttling, having shows removed, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. We need your help, okay? So if the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, gives you new perspective, do us a favor and help us share the show. We got a little thing we like to say here. It goes like this.

Don't be a hoe. Show the show. All right. What's up, dude? What's going on, brother? Oh, not much. Dude, green's a good color on you. Is it?

Yeah. I didn't know. I was debating. I don't think I've seen you in green like that. Yeah. I was debating. I was just feeling a little different today. Yeah.

You know? It really brings out the- The silver in my beard. The silver fox. I mean, since you brought it up. I'll tell you tell you what dude getting older is a weird thing man is it yeah because like i still feel 25 but then i look in the mirror and it don't look 25 motherfucker i could jump listen i'm gonna tell you this i'm as good of an athlete as anybody for this age that's a fact so no No, I love it, man. I love it. What's up with you? Oh, nothing much, man.

Birthday party this weekend? Birthday party was great. Birthday party was great. Dude, I threw down on the grill. Did you throw down at the table too? No, actually not much. It was more of an act of service? No, it's always weird, man.

When I'm cooking like that, I don't even really be hungry. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Everybody else fucking, it's weird. I don't know. I get service. No, it's always weird, man. Like when I'm cooking, like cooking like that, I don't even really be hungry. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like everybody else fucking, it's weird. I don't know. I get it.

No, dude, I just wanted to show you guys this because I'm very proud of it. It's a recipe I made myself. Okay. You're going to put it up here on the screen? It's smoked steak queso.

Oh, you were telling me about that. How'd that turn out? Bro, it was probably the best thing i've ever i've ever created in my life to be honest are those onions those are smoked onions yeah see that i couldn't eat that yeah it looks good otherwise though listen it was so fucking good those onions are huge bro bro who eats onions that big bro you like onions i fucking love onions bro onions garlic no onion is not even real food it's a fucking joke what do you mean you never heard the king's theory on onions no what is that oh bro what do you mean hold on wait listen hold on onion's not

even supposed to be eaten okay i have a theory on this i call it the Kings theory the Kings theory yeah so a long time ago back in you know the old days where there was kings and shit yeah the old old days you know where there was Kings and shit yeah the king in the jester they said hey we're gonna play a joke on people I'm gonna tell everybody this little weed that you pull out of the ground is food and we're gonna watch him eat it and they're all going to pretend like they like it because i'm going to say i like it so this king you know he went out to all his people and he fucking held the onion up and he said hey this is the best food ever and then all the little people went out and started eating it and that's how it became a food because there's no reasonable person that could say that onion

fucking tastes good i mean i think they taste they taste fine nah bro it's a joke you fell for it damn the king got me yeah the king's theory bro three hours though three hours to make some queso three hours and i put on the smoker so like the cheese did you put the cheese in the smoker too yeah oh i bet that was good yeah that's like it's all smoked and then i mean i seared the steaks and shit but yeah the steak looks cooked right bro it's perfect that's a good how do you like your medium rare we always order the same steaks yeah me with a with a with a crust on the outside hard cereal called pittsburgh's here yep that's right yeah so just a little food porn for you guys yeah um yeah man other than everything else was good everything else was good it wasn't too bad at all. I didn't do shit. Yeah. Fucking worked.

Finally worked out. I tore my pec back in the beginning of August. I haven't really told anybody that. Yeah. Kept it on download. Yeah, I was cruising and I tore my pec. Not a major tear, but just in the belly. And finally trained chest yesterday a little bit.

Felt okay. Wasn't too bad? No. All right. Well, sweet, man. I don't think I'm about back in the saddle with that. Yeah? Yeah. trained chest yesterday a little bit felt okay weren't you bad no all right well sweet man well it is uh i don't think i'm about back in the saddle with that yeah yeah i mean how long is like are those recoveries it depends on how bad it is that's not like a surgical tear not in the middle of the muscle no but uh it you know it depends on how bad it is i think mine was pretty

uh as much as much as it bruised and everything, I think it was still pretty minor. Sweet, man. Well, it is Q&A. All right. We're getting some people better today. Let's do it. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, I recently got a promotion at work for a position that I truly wanted.

I felt like I was qualified for. I went through the interview process like everyone else. The only difference was I didn't meet their educational requirements. I had two interviews. I felt like I crushed both. And at the end of the day, I ended up getting the promotion. I was very excited and I felt like I deserve to be here and still do. I've been in this position for about two months now, and I can't help but feel like I'm not being an asset to the team. I have classes scheduled and I'm starting to take courses to get certain certificates. I just can't help but feel right now of being more of a liability than an asset. I'm putting in the effort to get to that position

of an asset and I won't stop until I am by reading books for this specific position and whatnot. Just at the moment, am I a fraud? No. Look, first of all, let me give you some praise here. The fact that you feel that way is a great thing because it means you care. It means you care not just about yourself and getting the promotion. It means you care about the team and the mission and what we're trying to do. And to be quite honest, I think the best teammates of any team, whether it's been in sports or whether it's been in business that I've been a part of, are people who feel that way. They feel like, shit, man, I'm not paddling, you know, hard enough, or I'm not giving what I could, or maybe I'm not doing enough,

which is the awareness that you need to get better. So that, you know, you weigh that against what most people do is they get the promotion and they don't care if they're actually contributing and they kind of just take the money and cruise through. Right. And so I think the mentality that you have, actually, I don't think I know the mentality you have is the mentality of a high achiever, which is a great thing. It's also the mentality of a great teammate. So the fact that you feel that way, bro, like that's actually a good thing because you're going to go out, you're going to gain the skills that you need to contribute in the proper manner. And that's how every job up the scale of, you know, your career is going to be, you're going to move into that career

having, you know, or into that next position, having a little bit of skillset, but needing to develop more. And if everybody understood that they would continue to move up the ladder of success, but they don't, at some point they get to a place where they sort of just rot because they quit developing and they quit caring and they quit wondering if they're doing a great job or if they're contributing to the team. And so they quit doing personal development work. They quit reading. They quit trying to learn. They quit trying to gain skills. And then they just sit there and rot and they wonder why, oh, I'm getting passed over for this or I didn't get this opportunity. Well, you didn't do your part, man. You didn't do the part of personal development that is required by every single person. There are very few companies. We're one

of them. But there's very few that actually take an interest in your personal development. And that's something that you have to do on your own time. You have to have your own initiative. And it means you're going to have to pass on things that everybody else gets to go out and do that are fun. And you have to look at those things things not as a sacrifice, but as an investment as to where you're going. And so I personally believe that this is a great thing. You feel that way. I think what you need to do is continue to do what you're doing, working to gain skills, and it'll come and you'll start contributing.

And what will happen is you'll become so good at what you're doing that you will get offered the next position and then the cycle will repeat itself. A lot of people think that they work their way up as an entrepreneur in an organization just over time. They think if I'm here enough time, I'll get a promotion. That's not true. You have to crush it at your position and be undeniably great. And then the next opportunity will be presented to you. And when you start that opportunity, you're probably going to be mediocre. You're not going to know what to do.

And you're going to have to start the process over and start learning and start acquiring skills and start doing the things you did with the last position to gain the perspective and the skill in the new position. And if you continue to do that, there will be no stopping your upward mobility. But, you know, most people don't. They get to a place where they're making just enough money and they get comfortable and they start to just sit. And, you know, if they ask themselves, honestly, how'd you get to this place? They were doing different actions than what they're doing now. And the minute you stop trying to get better, the minute you stop wanting to get better, it's the best it's ever going to be. It's all downhill because now

you're not playing offense anymore. You're playing defense. Now you're starting to get into the politics aspect of business where you're trying to block other people from passing you up as opposed to being a contributing member of the team and just getting better and better and better and better. Just being great. Yeah. It's very simple, dude. Every single problem in your life can be solved very simply by being undeniably good at what you do. That is it. Every single problem.

Your problem of confidence, be undeniably good. Your problem of income, be undeniably good. Your problem of relationship, be undeniably good. If you're undeniably great at everything in every area you're not going to have any problems and that is within the average person's capability if they would just take the time to make the investment in themselves yeah i love it man i want i want to clarify on this too man because i i feel like this is it is a a common like narrative it's a common like theme i guess guess, that you have to be 100% prepared in order to get this next thing.

You know what I'm saying? I want to clarify what you're saying. That's bullshit. Well, it doesn't hurt to have those skills ahead of time, but most people don't. Most people learn how to do a job in an undeniably great fashion on the job right you know we can go to school we can read all the books we can watch all the youtubes you're still not going to get great at something until you're actually doing it over and over and over and over right the practical application yeah bro listen i could watch every video on playing the guitar i could read every

book about guitar mastery i could do every single. I could do that for jujitsu. But unless I sit down and play the guitar and practice the guitar, I'm not going to get any good at it. I'm certainly not going to be great at it. Same thing with jujitsu. I can read all the theory. I can go to all the classes. I can watch all the YouTube.

But unless I'm rolling every single day with these dudes, I'm not going to get any better. And so we have to understand knowledge and practical application you get the knowledge and then you tune it and you become better through the reps and the application of practice it's no different like you watch a video someone hit a baseball that doesn't mean you could do it you gotta do that yeah that's right so uh it's very simple dude and for this person i wouldn't beat yourself up I think you have the attitude of a high achiever. My suggestion would be just to make sure that you keep that attitude after you master this position for the next position and the next one and the next one. Do you know where the Nike CEO started? The new Nike CEO? He started as an intern, okay? And for 30 years, he's worked his way up and worked his way up and worked his way up and worked his way up and worked his way up, starting as an intern and is now the CEO, okay?

So think about that. Yeah, bro. That's- So you've seen that shit in movies. No, listen. It's highly probable for anybody that is committed to that kind of development to eventually end up in a role like that if you do it long enough. And, you know, maybe it's not at the company you're at because the window may not be open, right? But if you continue to gain skills and gain skills and gain skills on your own without being told to, without being pulled along.

Dude, you're infinitely valuable to somebody. And maybe there's not the opportunity at where you are, but where you'll get in the right spot someday and you will win a hundred percent, dude. I want to ask you this one more piece on this question, man, because I think this is a great point too. And this is, I guess this answer will be more for the entrepreneurs, right? But for yourself, right? Like you've hired thousands of people. You've employed thousands of people. As an entrepreneur, how do you handle when, you know, a leader, your boss, whoever it is in that position, and they see more potential in you than you see in yourself?

How do you like, so what advice do you give to the entrepreneurs on that aspect? Because like somebody believed in this guy to like promote him without the educational requirements, right? They heard the interviews, they believed in his potential to do that. And that's, I feel like that's a difficult spot to be in as an entrepreneur when you have somebody that believes in your potential more than you believe in your own potential. Well, I would listen to them because they have more experience than you and they know what it takes. And maybe you can't see it because you're you and you can't see your own greatness. You can't see your own potential

because, dude, all of us as high-achieving mindset people, we never feel good enough. We never feel like we're doing enough. We never feel like we're giving enough or contributing enough or winning enough. It always feels like a loss until you get the big win. And when you get the big win, that lasts for a minute and then you're back in the grind of building again. And so I think all high achievers at some point need some sort of

validation from people that are further down the line. And I think you should listen to them because some of the greatest coaches in the world will come in and tell you, you know, hey, you've got this potential and you're not listening to them. That doesn't make sense. You know what I mean? And, you know, a lot of this is faith, dude. Like a lot of this is, you know, not in the religious sense of faith, but faith that if I do the work, the result will be there. And you have to understand all these people ahead of you, they were the same I do the work, the result will be there. And you have to understand all these people ahead of you, they were the same as you at one point in time. They

just believe that if they did the work that they would get better. And so, dude, I have this saying, and you guys all know that listening to the show for years, the work comes before the belief. You have to do a little work before you actually believe. And you work and work and work and work and work, and then it produces a little bit of result. And then you say, oh, okay, that works. And it instills a little bit of belief. Then you work and work and work and work and work, and you get a little bit bigger result. And then you get a little bit more belief. So the work always comes before the belief in yourself.

And you have to have the faith that you are willing to do that work without a visible result, understanding that down the road it's going to pay off. So the work comes before the belief. And even if you don't believe in yourself, you have to listen to people like who are above you, who would potentially be a coach for you or a mentor to you, who've recognized people just like you have gone on to do great things. I love it, man. I love it, guys. Andy, question number two. Andy, first off, I want to say how much I appreciate the podcast. I've been listening since eighth grade.

It has really transformed my mindset and helped me grow my business. I'm 18 years old now and just graduated high school last spring, and I run a pressure washing business. We also hang up Christmas lights and do snow removal. We are currently doing around 20 to 30K per month. Dang. I currently have one employee working for me who does okay on quality, but likes to take his time, and I don't see the leadership potential in him. He also likes to ask for mental health breaks. This is someone who I don't see fitting

the culture I want to build within my company, but he's also my only employee. So I kind of have to keep him around. As I said, I'm 18, so I'm probably don't know shit. But is there a way to turn an employee into a leader, into a manager? Or is it just something that they have to bring to the table? Thanks again. Look, yes, you could definitely turn people into leaders. Where do you think all the leaders come from? They're not just born. They don't come out and they're leaders. That's not where it comes from. Someone took the time to invest in that person and cultivate the leadership skill set. Now, are there a lot of people that can't be coached into leading? Yeah, absolutely. And if

someone's coming to you every third day with some mental health break or this or that, they're probably not ready for that in their life. Now, maybe 10 years from now, they will be. I don't know. But absolutely, you can help people become more leadership oriented. And that means you have to take an interest in their personal development actively. So you have to become their coach and you have to be able to explain why doing things at a certain level is how we have to do them in order for us to get where we're trying to go. You know, people aren't just

going to come in and do things at a high standard because you want them done at a high standard and they're not going to do them to the level of your high standards unless you take the time to explain why it's important. All right. Most people don't operate on a high standard in their job because most jobs aren't demanding of a high standard. Most jobs, it's just, can I get someone and can they do the job? And I'll say this as a young entrepreneur, don't get caught up in that because when you

have not very many employees, sometimes small business operators will compromise their standards because they don't want to have to go through the hiring process. And what I can tell you is that is a sure way to hang yourself. You don't want to do that, dude. You want to find people that are going to work with you, who are going to want to build with you, and that's going to come down to your ability to lead them. So what are you trying to do with your business that is going to benefit that employee? All right, where are you trying to take it? How are you trying to build it? And does that employee's dreams and goals and life that they want to build for themselves fit within that

if it does you're going to find people that want to build and want to create and want to be a part of what you're trying to do if you don't explain the big vision properly and explain how we're going to get there the level of standard that we need to operate to get there and then also where that person fits in how they could build their life within that umbrella you to operate to get there. And then also where that person fits in, how they could build their life within that umbrella. You're going to have problems. That's the main job that you're going to have besides doing the actual power washing and the Christmas light hanging. Right. So, um, so yeah, man, you know, nobody's going to walk into your business and be this great leader. You're going to have to build them.

You're going to have to develop them. And that's going to mean you're going to have to take an interest in your employees. And, you know, there's really no other way to do it. So, yes, you can do it. Yes, there's people that can't be coached that way because they're not ready for it. But I'll say this, dude. You know, when I was 16, 17, i was lazy dude like super lazy like i at the the jobs i had to do which were hard which was doing concrete forms and then painting the stripes on parking

lots bro i was trying to get out of that shit as much as i could real talk i was probably the worst employee but the reason i was the worst employee is because I didn't understand the outcome that I was trying to contribute to. I just looked at it as showing up late at night, pushing a striper across the lot. And if I would have known like, Hey, this is going to help me build what I've built now, I would have hustled my ass off. You know what I'm saying? So, you know, it's about vision casting. And that's what my partner in RTA and my lead always talks about vision casting, vision casting, vision casting. And it's a common trait and skillset required by the leader of an organization or a team. You know, hey guys,

you know, Nick Saban, right at Alabama, when he was there, you know, we have to get off the ball fast. We were going to practice the play so many times that we can't get it wrong, right? That's the level of detail that he operates at because he understands what it takes to win. And so while they're going through the plays over and over and over and over again, he's talking about, hey, do you want to win a national championship or do you want to be just another team that goes on the wall over there and says that they're pretty good? You see what I'm saying? So he's constantly reminding his team where they're going, how it's going to benefit them, how they're going to, uh, how these little monotonous details are going to contribute to the outcome of their life.

And that's the job of a leader. And if you do that, other people will come up and leave with you. And some people won't. And the ones that don't, you know, you'll find you'll replace them with people that do over the course of time I love that I want to follow up on this too I mean you know developing someone else around you but I mean for him as the owner operator at 18 how much how much time and effort should be putting to himself and developing himself well it sounds like he's already put 10 years into it yeah you know or whatever what is it 18 12 eight years yeah you know what i'm saying i mean but that's

that is a that is there's a story around young leaders dj bro that's a lifelong process yeah like there there are things that i am still working on and i am a very experienced entrepreneur period okay there are things that i still need to get better at. There are things that every single leader can improve on. Phil Knight, the CEO of Nike or the founder of Nike, there's still things he could get better at. That's the beautiful thing about business and leadership is it's not like football or baseball where there's like a cap on how long you can play and how good you can get. You can always get better and you can always improve and you can always learn a new skill. And personally, that's why I like the game of

entrepreneurship so much because it's never ending. I get to play the game my whole life. You know what I'm saying? Whereas like, you know, had I become a professional athlete, which was my goal my whole life, you know, I'd be done by now and I would be talking about what I did, you know, back in the day. And, you know, I'm very thankful and grateful to have found the game of entrepreneurship because it's something that gives me a mission and a purpose for my whole life. So like, dude, yes, at 18, you got a lot of work to do, bro. But guess what? At 40,

you still got a lot of work to do. At 60, you still got a lot of work to do. It's just always evolving. And that's why I talk about success being the pursuit of your real potential, not the actualization of your actual potential. Okay. The true definition of success for me is the commitment to the pursuit of your own true potential. Because if you can commit to always getting better, and you can also accept that you will never become the best you can be because the game is everlasting. Now you're going to be in a winning position your whole life because no matter how much success you have, you're still going to be looking at yourself saying, okay, where can I get better? Where can I improve? How can I do this better next time? And that's what winners do, bro. I don't know a single high achiever. I don't know

a single billionaire. I don't know a single guy worth a hundred million dollars or even worth $10 million that feels like they're winning all the time. I don't know. Like, that's why I like these guys on the internet. They're so full of shit. Okay. They don't even know how to play the game. They couldn't run one of my stores for a single fucking day. That's a fact. Okay. Real people that are building real shit. They never feel like they're winning. They always feel like they got more to do, or they could have done better if they're a true winner. You know what I'm saying? Look at Michael Jordan. He talks about it. He doesn't remember all the shots that he made, but he fucking remembers the ones he missed.

And that's the mentality of a real winner, dude. They look, no matter what the outcome and how good it was, they look at the areas they could get better. They break that down and they work on improving that so that their game is more solid. And, you know, if you ever had a coach that was a great coach, you know, you could win the game 42 to nothing. And they're going to be breaking down on film and be like, DJ, why'd you miss that block? You cannot miss that block.

You're like, Coach, I won. We won. But he understands that you're going to play somebody one day and you're going to miss that block because it's going to cost you the game. You see what I'm saying? Shit, man. That's real shit. I love it, man.

Guys, Andy, third and final question. Question number three. Hey, Andy, I'd love some advice. I've been listening to you since the early MFCEO days. To paint the picture for you, I am. It's coming back. Yeah, it is. To paint the picture for you, I am a 27-year-old general manager of a motorcycle dealership with about 60 employees.

I started seven years ago in an entry-level wash bay position, then was given an opportunity to join the sales team. I was the number one salesperson in the company for a few years, and now I'm in charge of a whole dealership, and I love it. Now in my personal life, I'm engaged. I have my first kid on the way. I own a house, own a rental property, and I have a respectable savings for my age. I am incredibly thankful for the position I'm in at 27, but some days I just feel exhausted because it feels like everyone in my career and personal life need me to provide for them, train them, make all the decisions and help them through situations they're in. Don't get me wrong. I want to be in these provider decision maker roles, but I feel like I have nobody I can

personally talk to about these things. I don't have anyone in my life I can call to just get some stuff off my chest to because none of them can relate. I have so many things that I keep inside that just quietly eat me alive. Some days. Am I in no man's land? That's the question. And then do you have any advice on places I could look for to find people

who have been through where I, where I'm at that I could talk to about all this weight I have on my shoulders, no therapy, just someone relatable to talk to you that doesn't need anything in return for me. Thanks, Andy. For sure, man. You are in no man's land.

And for those of you that don't know what no man's land is, no man's land is when you first start out, you know, you have your friend group in high school and you first start out and you say, I'm going to do this. And all of them are like, oh man, are you sure? Or have you thought this through? You know, most people fail at that thing and you start to go out and build whatever it is. It could be a, you know, it could be a motorcycle career. It could be a business. It could be the church. It could be lots of different things, but you're stepping outside the initial friend group that you have. And you're starting to go down a path that none of them are committed to. And you start to hear all the chirping. You start to hear all the criticism. And you find yourself in a position

where you don't really relate to those people. And this is where the saying, it's lonely at the top comes from. But the thing is, guys, I'm going to tell you, you're not at the top. You've never been to the top. I've never been to the top. Okay. The mountain is never ending. So what happens is people get out here in this area where they don't feel like they have anybody to talk to. And instead of continuing down the path, they actually go back and they just say, oh, I'm going to go back and be with these friends because it's comfortable. And their career and their life and their goals sort of fall by the wayside. But the other person who decides to keep going, they end up surrounding themselves with friends who are aligned with what they're trying to build, who they're trying to become. And those people, instead of pulling away and saying, are you sure? Or instilling doubt in

you saying, oh, you know, I don't know. You know, these people are like, yeah, bro, look, we're doing the same thing. And they start to help you. Right. And if you continue to go down the path and by the way, those friendships are much better than the first friendships. Okay. So the friendship group gets better. Imagining having friends in your life, all of them that supported you and pushed you and helped you be better. That's what it's like. Okay. So you get in that group. And then if you progress and level up again, the same kind of thing will happen because a lot of those friends in the second group, they will, uh, you know, become complacent with where they're at. And you'll say, I want to keep going. And then you'll go through the process again. And every time you level up in life, you're going to go through this process where you feel

alone. Now to answer your question, uh, yes, you are in that spot. And where do you find people? And by the way, just so you know, if you're in a leadership position, if you're in a position of a general manager where you have a responsibility of all these people, dude, it's a privilege to be in charge of that. As much pressure as it is, it's a privilege to be the person that people come to for answers. And if they weren't coming to you for answers, you would feel like you were missing something in your life. And so I could completely understand that. I'm in that position as well. Anybody who's running a business or they're the decision maker at a business, whether it be a manager, CEO, COO, somebody important in the organization, they are dealing with the weight of everybody

on their back. Like for me, dude, almost everybody I know depends on me to get the fuck up out of bed and execute. And that's a lot of pressure. And it's a lot of pressure when you really love these people and you care about them. You know what I'm saying? So that comes with the territory and you just get used to it. It's just like a cold plunge.

The first time you get in it, you're like, ah! And then after a while, you know, five, six days, or, you know, in this context, it's years, you start to get used to the pressure. But I'll tell you the truth, dude. There's still days where I struggle with this, and you know this, and people around me know this. It can get exhausting because you're trying to handle your own shit

and then you have everybody else dumping on you, you know, and it can be exhausting. But how do you get around people that are like-minded, which is very important. You have to, you have to actively seek those people out. Okay. You could join a group like Arte Syndicate, where there's lots of people who are successful. And by the way, you know, when you get around people like that, again, they're going to help you. They're going to teach you. They're going to share information and it's going to make you better. You know, you could seek out other people that are in your, you know, realm of, you know, expertise, so to speak. You know, maybe you find another manager who manages a similar dealership somewhere else, but I'd be careful with that because a lot of people get in those roles and just because they're in that role doesn't mean they're trying to get

out of that role. So you want to be around highly ambitious people who are driven to consistently progress, who are going to teach you skills and share skills and share information. And quite honestly, that's why Ed and I started RTA Syndicate. If you want to learn about it, you can go to rtasyndicate.com. But getting around people that are driven doesn't happen at the bar, bro. It doesn't happen just sitting at your house You have to actively seek them out and you have to actively and intentionally work to build relationships with those people And if you do you'll be welcomed in and you'll have much more Rewarding and enriching and productive friendships that will help you and your family. And by the way, you're 60 employees

You see what i'm saying? So it's very very important important. And you know, the old friend group, they don't get it. They're never really going to get it. You know, they're always going to say shit. And then once you move into the second group, they're going to be saying, oh, you forgot where you came from. Are you left us behind? No, I didn't leave you behind, bro. You could have came with me. You could have came, you know what I'm saying? I told you I was going over here. You could have came with me. So don't let those people guilt you don't let those people wear you out um And understand that if you want to get better you've got it. You've got to actively seek out

Better and more productive relationships. They're not just going to come to you because those people are out doing shit, right? That's real man. Yeah, you know something, you know You've talked about the no man's land before and this is like a question i just thought about here man but um i guess just more of a talking point too but you know i find it interesting too that you know you leave that first group you got you know your new group right and these people a little bit more ambitious right and then when when somebody in that group let's say it's not you yet but they elevate and they go to the next level you're gonna have more people in that group that will choose to move forward than not. Yeah.

So, like, that's awesome fucking motivation. Yeah. That's awesome fucking energy to have around you. Absolutely. Like, can we talk about it a little bit, man? Well, look, dude, I mean, successful driven people generally enjoy competition. Now, they might say they hate their competition

if they're super driven, but they don't. That's just immaturity. When you're immature, you say, I hate my competitors. I fucking hate them. When you start to mature a little bit, what happens is you start, and by the way, I used to be that guy. But what happens is you start to learn a little bit and get a little bit more mature and you start to realize, fuck dude, the guy that I'm competing with over there is like the only guy running with me. So like, I'm going to try to beat him and he's going to beat me and honestly some of my competitors in life have become some of my very

best friends because we push each other to be better and we value that relationship any true winner there you get them on the field they're gonna want to crush okay they want to win they don't want to win a little bit they want to win a lot however you get them off the field they're sharing techniques they're sharing skill sets. They appreciate competition because that's what drives a competitive person to improve. So having friends that are competitive is a great thing. A lot of people are saying, I'm only competing with myself. I understand that, and that's true generally.

But having a little bit of kick in the ass because you see one of your homies bigger than you that's that's also a good thing if you can be mature about it yeah or if you have that relationship too hey bro how the fuck you do that that's it yeah and dude what i've i'd be real you know as i've moved from you know here to here to here to here and i'm continuing to move uh the the higher up you go the more willing people are to share because they they've been through the journey they've been through the journey. They've been through the grind, and they're not threatened by someone else winning. They've learned the lesson of abundance. They understand that there's plenty of room for everybody to compete, but yet they still look at you and they say, hey, I want to beat you.

Listen, bro, I love you, but I'm going to beat your ass. Right. You know what I'm saying? Right. If you and I go in a boxing ring, we're going to fucking try to win. You know what I'm saying? But we're going to get out. I'm going to say, how the fuck did you do that? Well, how'd you move like that? What'd you do here? It's probably a lot like what you guys do in jujitsu. You know what I'm saying? You know, you get done with it. You know, whoever won, won.

And then you start to how'd you get me in this shit? Yeah, right. Exactly. And like, dude, that's how business is. And the higher up you go, the more willing people are to share the information. That's been my personal experience. That's why it's important to get around people who have that mindset because when they've been in the game and they're a little bit more successful than you, you know, one of the things that successful people like the most is helping other people win. It's very rewarding. It's very similar to like when you cook a meal for someone and you say, they enjoy it you know you're it makes you feel good yeah you know no dude i get a lot of i get a lot of fulfillment and a lot of uh pride in helping people win dude like for real and it doesn't matter who it is i just like seeing people win and when you like seeing people win the universe and god says hey they like winning they like seeing people win and they deliver more of that for you. You know, when you hate on people and you get frustrated with people and you look at people and you get jealous in your heart about, you know, it's not just what you say, it's also what you believe. You know, if you see someone winning and you're jealous in your heart

about them winning, you're telling the universe, hey man, I don't like winning. You know what the universe is going to give you? A whole bunch of not winning. All right? So be very careful. And this is, you know, a little bit off the subject, but be very careful how you feel and how you think when you see someone winning. All right?

And if you do feel like you're jealous, that's okay. You just got to work on that. You got to start to learn to see it a different way. I love it, man. I love it, man. That's a hell of a way to start a Monday, man. Guys, Andy. That was three.

All right, guys. Let's go out. Let's kick some ass. We'll see you tomorrow with CTI.