REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 822. Q&AF: Fear Of Failing, Reframing Your Mindset & Competitors Copying Everything

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to confront the fear of failing when setting big goals for yourself, how to reframe your mindset when trying to develop a competitive mindset, and what to do when your competitors try to steal every move you make in your business.

What is up guys? It's Andy Fercella and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fictives, and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now you can submit your questions a couple different ways. The first way is... Guys, email these questions to askandyatandyfercella.com Or you go on YouTube and the Q&AF episodes, drop your question in the comments and we'll choose some from there as well. Other times throughout the week, we're going to have CTI. We've been on a little hiatus for a little bit, but we're going to get right back to it. That stands for cruise the internet.

That's where we put topics on the screen. We speculate on what's true on, what's not true. And then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times we're going to have real talk. That's just like five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk and then we have 75 hard versus that is where people who have completed the 75 hard program come on the show they talk about how they were before how they are now and how they use the 75 hard program to Rebuild their mental framework and take back control of their life now

If you're unfamiliar with 75 hearted is the initial phase of the live hard program that you can get episode 208 on the audio feed only 208 on audio feed. It's not on YouTube. It will give you the entire live hard program top to bottom. There is a book available. You can at AndyForSella.com but it's not necessary. The whole program is for free at episode 208 check it out and get it going there. There's a fee for the show. The fee is tell a friend. We're constantly dealing with shadow bands, traffic throttling and

all kinds of censorship issues. Please share the show. We put a lot of time and effort into this show. We don't run ads on the show and we ask that you just help us share the show, all right? We put a lot of time and effort into this show. We don't run ads on the show, and we ask that you just help us grow the show. So if the show brings you some value, makes you think, it makes you laugh, it gives you new perspective, you learn something, don't be a ho. Share the show. Oh, got me. Yep.

I always try to time this shit up. I'm like, oh, I got time. Let me take a little sip, sip. What's going on, man? Nothing sip sip. What's going on man? Nothing, dude. What's up with you? Oh, you know man listen, uh, you know, I think everybody listening They know that I don't have a good experience with the pools. Yeah So haven't been doing that but been doing something else. What's that down in my basement, man? I sent you some pictures Yeah, I've been doing some work man. Yeah, you're like making your own little cabinet. Yeah

I've been doing some work, man. Yeah, you're like making your own little cabinet. Yeah, bro. Shit's clean too, isn't it? Yeah, it looks good, dude. You inspired me, man. How so? Cause you redid the bar lounge. I didn't redo it, I paid some.

But you had it done. I mean, that's the rule of life. You know, like know how to do something or have enough money to have somebody else do it. That's like the rule of life, you know. And I know how to do it and I fucking love that shit. And like, yes, I've been down in the basement, man, doing some work, little Bob the Builder.

Is that your man cave down there? What is that? No, I have one room in the house. Yeah, I know. And that's just like, that's it. And that wasn't it. No. Okay, so that is not your room.

No, not mine. All right. That's Alex's. Everything else is Alex and the girls, man. But no, man, we were doing some funk shway work in the basement, trying to just get it all right. Cause bro, like listen, the problem with kids, man, and I'm gonna some some funk sway work in the basement, you know trying to just get it All right, cuz bro like listen the problem with kids man I'm gonna say it cuz I know nobody else will kids have too much shit. That's the problem

Yeah, I guess fucking like it's every like everywhere you step. Yeah, you're stuck in barbies and shit, man. I do this terrible Yeah, you ever step on a fucking Lego not yet, but I'm sure I'll get there. That's the worst But they got too much shit man So we've been like trying funk-shway the basement out to make it a little bit better of a setup. And we had this deep corner in bed or whatever. And I'm like, we gotta put something here. And yeah, man, so I've been grinding, man.

Good. I've been grinding. It looks good. It's nice to do some shit with your hands every now and then, dude. For sure, dude. It just makes me feel manly. Very manly. Yeah, man, that's about it, man. It's Monday, let's get into it.

Yeah. We got three good ones for you guys, as always. So with that being said, Andy, guys, question number one. Andy, I think I have been struggling with setting big enough goals. This year, I set a goal in my business to do 100K in revenue revenue and we are going to do over 300k. I am looking to the new year and looking at setting goals and I think I

might be afraid to set even bigger goals because I don't want to fall short. Where do you find the line between setting a large goal and being realistic? It's not that I don't have dreams of the biggest goals. I just don't like falling short. How do you do this, Andy? First of all, it depends on how big you wanna go, okay? If you wanna be big and you wanna build a big life and you wanna be mega successful, you gotta have big goals.

And the thing about big goals that aren't realistic is that big goals inspire big actions thing about big goals that aren't realistic is that big goals inspire big actions, which produce big results. And realistic goals inspire realistic actions, which produce regular realistic results. So it really doesn't matter how you set your goals, but you need to understand how this works. All right, a lot of people, they want to hit their goal and they want to say, oh, I lost five pounds or I made a hundred thousand dollars. And that's fine.

But the truth of the matter is the highest achieving people, they are resetting the bar for their goals before they even achieve the goal. I can't tell you the last time I achieved quote unquote a goal and was like, man, this is great. I hit my goal. That's not how high level, high achieving individuals think. They set a massive goal. And then when they realize that they're going to hit the goal, they get close to it and then they raise the bar again. So it's like, you never actually end up hitting the goal,

but you move past it every time and that's how championship people think that's how high level people think and We have all these people out in the world who really haven't accomplished a motherfucking thing telling everybody Oh, you got to set realistic goals and take small little actions and and you know You got it They don't understand it because they've never built anything of any sizable nature If you want to be excellent and you want to build something huge and you want to have a big life and you want to make A lot of money and you want to kick ass

You better set some big fucking goals and follow it up with some big fucking actions Because you're not going to ever set realistic goals and then have the tiny little realistic actions produce the result that you're trying to get and I know a lot of people try to block this out along the way. They try to say, well, this is a little milestone and that's my next goal. And this is a little milestone and that's my next goal. And that's fine, except the actions that are taken in those little steps are always little. They're not massive. And we're capable of producing massive action and building massive results. Like, dude, it's not that much harder to take action against a massive goal than it is a small goal.

You have X amount of energy that needs to be expended. You have X amount of time that needs to be applied. And the time and the energy that need to be expected for a small goal and a big goal are really not that much different. So if you're going to be working and you're going to be putting the time and the energy that need to be expected for a small goal and a big goal are really not that much different. So if you're going to be working and you're going to be putting the time in and you're going to be sweating and grinding and be frustrated and do all this shit that you got to do, you might as well try to be the best in the fucking world at it because it's going to take the same amount of time and energy anyway. So that's how I think of it. I think a lot of people really fuck themselves by listening to idiots on the internet who have never

fucking done anything Except maybe write some shit like we're inundated with advice from who? From who you guys read these meme pages you read these mental health pages you read all these who the fuck are these people? You read these mental health pages. You read all these... Who the fuck are these people? They're writers! What have they accomplished? Oh, they took a pencil and they said, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Like, bro, we gotta listen to practicality. What produces results? Okay? And we are mind-fucked by the internet because there's so much information and there's so many opinions and there's so many opinions and hardly any of those opinions come from anybody with any real world results to point at. Alright? Especially with the mindset psychology shit.

Like, I see so much garbage on the internet that people read. And take seriously, that is terrible fucking advice. I see them repost it, I see them try to live by it, I see them try to curve their life into these ideas when the fucking advice is wrong. I can tell you that for sure because I've been down the road, right? So we have all these fucking people spewing all this shit

and people are listening to it and they don't know what to do. And one of the things that we hear the most about is Setting these small realistic goals, but I'm here to tell you every fucking Massively successful person in any area of life that I know sets massive goals and they followed up with massive action Yeah, how would you address the fear part here? Because you know, he's saying like even if he sets this big goal He's scared of this falling short But are you really scared of falling short if you know, it's still like way bigger than you would have fucking landed What the fuck doesn't matter if you if you set a big-ass dude, there's a saying everybody's heard it. Okay

Shoot for the moon and you'll land among the stars. Okay, that's one of the mean pages Yes, but there's actually truth to that. Yeah. Because if you set your goal to run a hundred miles, do you think you're gonna be able to run a marathon eventually? Pretty easy probably. Right. But if you set your goal to run a marathon, you're gonna get to mile fucking 19 and be dogging your balls off. Okay. This is what I'm talking about. You get far better and make far more progress and win way more by setting massive goals, massive action. And you may never hit that goal. You may become 10 yards short. But the thing is, is that when you're 10 yards short, then you make a new goal and then you pass the goal that you set. Does that make sense?

That makes perfect sense. Yeah. Like dude, the fucking internet is ruining people's ability to think and Follow practical advice because there's too many fucking nobodies who haven't done shit who aren't qualified to give any Motherfucking advice giving it. Yeah Let me ask you this any because you know This is really F and you've all you you pride yourself on telling people the honest truth, right? And in this like concept, right? In this idea of like setting these massive goals,

I wanna ask you like, because okay, yeah, you set massive goals, take big actions, get big results. What's the catch? Like what would you say, like just being complete honest, like what's the one thing about having that mindset that kind of sucks? Like, is there like a- Look, dude, here it is, okay?

Action plus time equals fucking results. And everybody emails in and they ask all these motherfucking questions. And you got all these people on the internet saying all this shit. Here's the bottom line, motherfuckers. You gotta do the fucking work. You gotta do it when you don't wanna do it.

You gotta do it when you're hurt. You gotta do it when you're tired. You gotta do it when you're sick. You gotta do it when you don't wanna fucking do anything else. And you gotta do it when you're hurt. You gotta do it when you're tired. You gotta do it when you're sick You gotta do it when you don't want to fucking do anything else and you got to do it for fucking years And that is the real shit. Okay, everybody and ask a motherfucking question about anything is Ultimately usually trying to figure out how to get out of the fucking work And if you can't win without that you can't win without it. So motherfucker I don't give a fuck what size goal you set but you better show up every day and follow with big action

you're gonna be fucking broke dude I get tired of this shit I get tired of fucking people when when I've put 26 motherfucking years into my life to build this fucking life that I have 26 years'd be 26 years, January 1st. Coming to me like, I'm burnt out in six months. I've been doing this for two years, I'm burnt out. Then you ain't got it, bro. Okay, because this is a fucking long sprint. You are sprinting as fast as you can for your whole life. That's what it is, okay?

And it's hard. And you can't get around doing the work. And you're not gonna figure out how to do it. You're not the first person in the world that's gonna figure out how to do it You're not the first person in the world is gonna figure out how to do without doing the fucking hard shit and putting in the Time you are not going to do it. So you have to ask yourself Is this the life I really want do I really want to pay that price and what am I gonna give for it? What's it gonna cost me? Okay, because it's gonna cost a lot It's gonna cost you a lot of the shit that everybody else gets to live with

cost a lot. It's going to cost you a lot of the shit that everybody else gets to live with. Okay. Or am I going to go live like everybody else and not beat my dick into the dirt expecting something that never happened because I think I'm the first guy ever to like fucking get around the work. You understand? Like, bro, it ain't for everybody. The one of the biggest problems with the internet is that fucking makes people think that entrepreneurship and building a company and success is for everybody. There is a reason it's rare. And the reason it's rare is because it's incredibly fucking difficult and it takes a long time and it has to be the focus of your day every single fucking day. And there is no relief that it's relentless. It'll punch you in the face a thousand fucking times in a row and

not give a fuck how bad you're hurting. Okay? And if you ain't wired for that, you better figure out how to do it. That's the entire fucking point of a Live Hard program, to build you into a mentally tough individual who has the fortitude, the perseverance, the discipline, the mental toughness to kick ass on a daily basis and laugh when the world kicks you in the fucking face. Okay?

That is what you have to become. And any of this shit that you guys think where you think, oh, I can get around doing this or it's work smart. Okay, motherfucker, go do it then. Go do it. Let's see you do it. And what do you see in fucking six months? Oh, they're doing this.

Now they're doing this new thing. Now they're doing this new thing here. And the reason that happens is because they think that they can get around it or it's gonna be easy. And so when it gets hard, they're like, fuck, this is too hard, I'm gonna go over here. Well, you guys are gonna be broke. That's it, you're gonna be broke.

Just accept it. Just say, fuck it, I'm gonna fucking go live my life. I'm gonna scrape by, and that's fine with me. Because dude, it's hard as fuck. scrape by and that's fine with me because dude it's hard as fuck. I'm truly let it be fine with you. Yeah like you don't have to fucking drive Lambos and shit bro like not everybody has to do that like it you know what I'm saying you got to weigh what the fucking cost is there's a heavy cost to living that kind of life and it fucking cost you almost everything

and you may say oh well That doesn't sound like a good deal for Lambos. Well, there's some good deals I get to go where the fuck I want any time I want do anything I want buy anything I want I don't have any fucking restrictions on my fucking finances ever. That's pretty fucking good What's your main problem in your life? You see what I'm saying, right? So I Just get tired of people expecting that this is going to be fucking easy. Or you're going to be the first fucking kid at 22 years old to figure out how to get around

the work. Fuck, dude. If you figure it out, fucking call me. Tell me. 26 years, I'm doing something wrong. Yeah, right. Let me, there's actually a perfect leeway into our next question though, because I've met a lot of people, Andy, and I would say you tackle this in a much different way

than I think most people, pretty much anybody does. And it's a great flow to our second question. So let's get to the, hey, hi Andy. And I'm on my second round of 75 Hard now. I fell the first time for missing the small details, forgot a photo on day 42. I've read first time for missing the small details. Forgot a photo on day 42. Read both books and listen to every episode. You talk about loving the fact that you're the only one out there doing the hard

shit, but I can't seem to find that mindset. I'm on day 48 up in Canada and today was zero degrees Fahrenheit with a 40 mile per hour wind. It was hands down the worst outside workout I've done and it fucking sucked. I hated every second of it. How do you learn to reframe that into the mindset you talk about? I wanna have that feeling of pride for doing hardship

but I can't seem to see past the suck. Thank you for everything you've done. You love the hardship. How do you, how do you, how do you? How do you not? How do you not when it's zero degrees and there's a fucking foot of snow on the ground and you're fucking out there and no one else is out there

and you're doing what the fuck it takes and you look around and you can't see another fucking human for miles, you don't see a car, you can't hear anything. How can you not stop and be like, bro, I'm the only one. I am the only one paying the price. I am the only one doing what's required. Everybody else is sitting at home eating fucking Doritos, and I am out here in the fucking snow getting better.

How can you not be excited about that? If you can't get excited about that and you can't find that mindset, go eat some fucking donuts and get the fuck up. I'm being serious because you don't have the competitive nature that is required to fucking win. Okay? To win, you have to be competitive. If you're not competitive and you think that this is going to be easy, you're going to

get stumped. All right? So it's competitive nature against all humans Where the fuck is everybody? Oh, they're in by the fire. They're under their blankets. Okay How do you not fucking think that so like I can't help you because I'm so wired the other way that That's just what the fuck I think I look around I don't see anybody I come in here I come in wherever I'm at and there's everybody's got the fucking clothes All like their coats and shit, and I'm just like yeah, that's right. That's why I'm me you see what I'm saying That's what the fuck I think and if you don't have that little chip if you don't have that little cockiness

Yeah, if you don't have that competitiveness Fuck bro. You ain't gonna make it. It's too fucking hard Now if you're just trying to gain some you know you're trying to build some of this shit. You know, I don't know the answer because I've always been that way. I'm a competitive person. Everything's a competition. Yeah. Like I can't put competitive into you, bro. I can't. I'm sorry. There's been an entire generation of human beings that have been ruined by fucking bad parenting strategies, teaching kids that it's not important to be competitive and that everybody gets a fucking trophy and everybody gets to show up and be celebrated. Even if they turn up last, that's not reality, bro.

And if you don't have competitive nature in your heart, if you don't have it in your soul, you cannot fucking put it there. It is either there or it's not there. So I don't know what to tell you dude, but I can tell you this I Can't not look around and be like Yeah, that's right. I'm out here there in there. That's why I'm me and they're them. How the fuck do you not think that? Yeah Yeah, I mean, maybe that's the thing rather. You just make it like a mini game almost, you know with yourself Yeah, you call it test days. Yeah, it like a mini game almost you know with yourself. Yeah, you call it test days Yeah, right like a Mary is that I mean is that a good place to start like just turning that into a game with yourself Just that one it's it test days is a different thing man test days is like when the shit's so fucking hard

And and you don't want to do it and you can't fucking wrap your mind around even getting it started And you do it anyway and you pass the test and that's that's a test day. You know what I'm saying? Like we're talking about here is competitive nature and the ability to find the mindset of doing hard things that other people aren't willing to do. Like I don't really understand how you could do all these things that are hard and look around and see very few people doing it and not have a sense of pride and respect for yourself. You know what

I mean? I don't understand that. So maybe you just need to audit how you're thinking about it. And maybe you need to get a little bit of a chip on your shoulder and realize like you're doing a lot of shit that nobody's willing to do, bro. That's a big fucking deal. It's not a little deal, it's a big deal. Like when you're out there and it's zero degrees and there's nobody out, you should be saying, fuck yeah, I'm the man. That's what the fuck you should be saying.

Yeah, that's definitely what you think. Yeah. It's the truth though. It is the truth. If you're, whoever's willing to do the fucking inconvenient hard shit tends to win. I love it, man. I love it, guys.

Let's get to our third and final question. Guys, Andy question number three. Hello Andy. Long time listener before Roro hit. My questions are how do you deal with a competitor copying everything you do from social media posts, copying parts we manufacture to even trying to poach our sponsored races from us. I work for a UTV parts manufacturer and build race cars that win. We are one of the leaders in the UTV industry and it's every day this company shadows our moves. We make a post about us shipping parts out two hours later they make the same post. We post about a new chassis we developed. Here they come with some bullshit about being an innovator

and making some part I'm honestly deflating because I've spent 22 years building who I am in the fabrication and welding industry appreciate your time is what do they say that is impersonation the the highest sign of no it's a no they say impersonation is the highest form of flatter it's a say no they say impersonation is the Highest form of flattery, but it's not it's the highest form of unoriginality And you have to understand what ends up happening here is people try to copy And then they don't realize that they're one two three years behind and they can never catch him all right So if you're the market leader

Which I don't know if you are or not you say you are but I don't know if you are if you're if you're the market leader, which I don't know if you are or not, you say you are, but I don't know if you are. If you're not, you need to become that. You need to figure out how to get more eyeballs, get more traffic, become bigger. It's not going to matter if they copy you or not. There's lots of people that copy everybody all day, but there's always one company that stands above and sets the trends. All right.

And if you're the company who is setting the trends, you don't worry about what they're doing. You just decide what's going to be best and you do those things. And yes, they're going to copy. You're never going to get people to not copy you, but you have to realize that it's not going to affect you because they're behind you already. Like if I come up with an idea and it takes a year to put into play and then another year to actually fucking really start kicking ass and then someone over here says, Oh, look at that. They're fucking two years behind.

Already. Yeah. They're always going to lose. Okay. This is why you have to think of your company as its own thing and not focus on what everybody else is doing. When we're in business, it's easy to focus on everybody else and you know, try to, uh, you know, you don't want anybody else to have any business. You know, that's, that's what you do when you're competitive. Um, but at the end of the day, you have to realize dude that if you're the market leader and someone else is

copying you, they're never going to catch you because they're always behind. They're always behind. And if you're the copier, you have to realize that you're always going to be you, they're never gonna catch you because they're always behind. They're always behind. And if you're the copier, you have to realize that you're always gonna be behind and you're never really gonna make it happen. And here's another thing. If you are the market leader and you do have someone who's copying you

and they're running ads and you've already saturated the market with ads and familiarity, when customers see their ads, they're gonna think of you. Right. Okay. So, dude, we used to have this same thing happen on our radio ads here we would have little company we do local a lot of local radio with our retail operation and We'd have people, you know straight up start copying our radio ads and then our business would go up

You know I'm saying because it was like a similar app or a similar product, but we had spent so much that people associated that ad and that product with us. So then the other company came in and spent money trying to get us, and then they inadvertently pressed people to us because of the familiarity. So that's why you wanna become the market leader.

That's why you wanna make sure that you're, you know, grasping the market properly to become top of mind where even if they do copy, people are going to think of you anyway. Are consumers smart enough to see the difference? To know the difference? To know the difference between the OG fruit loops versus the fucking knockoff fruity circle? No, I mean, look, dude, that's another thing is you got to remember there's customers for every price point and every quality point.

So like just because someone does something similar to you doesn't mean they're gonna get your customer. There's tons of nutritional supplement companies. We got our own customers. They're not getting our customers. Our customers are ours, right? Cause we're an original brand. And that's how it works, man.

Yeah, no, it makes sense. I want to ask you this with 26 years of experience, tell me if I'm right or wrong. Because I'm trying to put myself in the shoes of this entrepreneur, right? And this may be like an immature move, but this is something I was thinking about, like I would do, right?

I would fucking intentionally make a bad, not a bad move that's going to fuck me up, but I would intentionally make a bad decision, a bad move,'s gonna fuck me up, but I would intentionally make no a bad decision A bad move post it just so expose them and the copy now. Nobody cares, dude. It's bad move Yes, that's that's that is ego Small business owner irrelevant emotional shit. You're not focused on building the best product You're focused on outdoing this idiot over here. Yeah, that's a recipe for losing yourself So stay focused on what you do do it better than everybody and the fucking cards are gonna fall where they're gonna fall

You know what I'm saying? Alright guys Pretty sure we hit CGI this week We had a lot going on so we'll see you guys tomorrow