REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 83. Life Without Regrets

Episode Date: November 2, 2020

Your time on earth is limited, so you MUST chase your dreams. On today's episode, Sal talks about how you can maximize your time on earth and go after what you truly want.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm going to get millions. Watch this. In a project living. Damn. Spoke it till existence. Voila. Mode changed to 50. What up?

Got more cars than diddy. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. Quarter. What's going on, guys? You're listening to The Real AF with Sal Forsell, and today we're going to get into a little bit of real talk. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. I don't know when you're listening, but I want to make sure that it's good.

Hey, before we get started, I just wanted to, again, humbly say thank you. It's fun popping in here. It's fun saying hello. It's fun. It's almost therapeutic in a sense for me because these guys say, hey, can we talk about this or talk about that? And I kind of feel like the early grandpa or really the dad in me is coming out in a sense, you know, I almost feel in some sense, like I'm talking to Enzo, you know, or the girls and just

kind of, you know, trying to give the best advice that I possibly can. And I, you know, experience is the difference in life and it's the best teacher. It's the best educator. And it's the only way that I've ever learned. Um, I mean, let's be honest. It's the best educator. And it's the only way that I've ever learned. I mean, let's be honest. It's the only way you learn that fire is fucking hot is to have a little experience of sticking your finger in it. And some people have to stick their finger in it more than once, which is, I've done that as well. But you have to go through some things in order to develop who you're meant to be as a human. And if my lessons or my direction in life can help point you in a different direction

or help steer you away from making a mistake or really maybe give you the inspiration to go chase your dreams, I do this podcast with the best intentions of trying to add as much value to your life as possible. And speaking of talking to my know, I think if I were to give them the best lesson that I could learn, okay, or excuse me, the best lesson that I could give them, you know, if this were my last day, okay. And I think that's a reality because all too often we live life as if it's infinite, as if we're going to have, oh, we'll just get to that when we get to it. And I think you need to recognize that you're going to die.

And life is not infinite. And your time card is going to get punched. And you don't know when that time is going to be. I mean, that's the scary thought. And as you're listening to your car or in your ears at work or in the gym, you need to really digest that for a second and make sure that you're taking your time here on earth and maximizing it to the best of your ability and understanding that the world is beautiful, man. And it's how you see it in life. And you

need to recognize the fact that you need to get busy living life. And that's an important aspect because all too often we get caught up being robots and not really chasing our dreams and the dreams that we had when we were little kids. And I think if you were to ask me, what lesson would I give my children and what lesson could I leave? That lesson would be to live life with no regret. And it's hard to think no regret because it's not reasonable to think that no regret is an option. You're going to have some regret. But the ideal potential or the ideal way to go out is if you're laying on that death bed with a smile on your face, understanding you gave life every fucking chance you had to live the best when you could. And I tell this story or I tell my guys here at work all the time,

regret is not about the story of no, meaning, you know, nobody cares how many times you got told no, nobody like it's not, those are, those never make good stories. I mean, I can't tell you how many fucking cold calls I made selling copiers. And I got told, no, I don't remember the businesses, although I do some of them, but I don't remember the names, but I can certainly tell you the wins. I can tell you the times that I knocked on a door and I took, I can tell you that I, the very first fucking copier that I sold was a place called HydroTemp in Bridgeton, Missouri. I mean, I remember it vividly. I ran out to my car after I knocked on the door, I closed the deal. I fucking got in my car and I was like, fuck yeah.

And it's because I had the balls to go knock on the goddamn door. And I say the same thing, not no different than a copier deal. The meaning of my wife, the mother of my children, the woman that I love, how I met her is one of the lessons that I'd love to leave, at least Enzo in a sense. And I tell my guys this all the time, like, what are you afraid of? You got to ask the hottest chick in the bar out every fucking time. Who cares if she says no? Who cares if she says no? Because the story's told. What happens if she says yes? What are you going to do then? What's that story going to be like? And I have that story. And this is like the life of regret that I wish that I could

pass on is have the courage to get in the game. Don't be a fucking sideline player. Get in the motherfucking game. And I remember meeting my wife. I remember we were at Al Roboski's, a baseball bar here in St. Louis, where baseball town. And my wife was the VIP bartender up top, you know, where the, where the VIPs are, you know, the cool guys. And I remember she's fucking hot. She ain't a 10. She's a fucking 12. And I remember sitting there, he's kind of nervous, you know, like, oh shit, man, that chick's pretty hot. Like I gotta go ask her out. And, you know, I kind of waddle my fat ass up there and get to the end of the, you know, end of the bar, leaning on it, putting out the vibe, like dumb and dumber.

And, uh, I'm trying to, you know, throw these stupid, Hey, what's your name? Hey, you know, Hey, I'm Sal. How, you know, how are you? You know, the, this typical bullshit that fucking stupid 25 year old guys do. And I remember, you know, dude, she wouldn't give me no time of day and she didn't have to. Every guy in the bar was hitting on her. She's fucking smoke. And, uh, I could tell you what she was wearing. She had these white jeans on red top. I mean, I can see it in my head. And I remember thinking, man,

like, all right, well, fuck, I ain't going to walk away. I grabbed the napkin. I tore it off. I grabbed a red pen. I wrote my number down at the time. I handed it over to her. And I said, if you want to take me out, you give me a call. And I walked away. And I remember I went out back to my buddy, Corey, sitting there. He's like, what'd you say? I'm like, she didn't, she fucking blew me off. I gave her my phone number. I said, Hey, you want to take me out? Give me a call. You know, he's like, ah, you know, they're making, you know, what guys do making fun of me that night, ring, ring. Yeah. You know, I answered the phone and sure as shit, it's her. Hey, what are you doing? You know, you want to meet, you want to

meet up for a drink? And I said, yeah, cause it was a, it was like an afternoon baseball game. And, uh, you know what? We hit it off. And had I not gone to the bar, even though I was a little scared, even though I was a little nervous, had I not left her my number, my life would look drastically different today. I wouldn't be married to the woman of my dreams. I wouldn't have the kids, the children that I have. I wouldn't have the experience that I have all because I literally took the balls to walk up the bar and ask her on a date. And what's cool about that story is there's a story within the story. You know, that little iconic moment that we're just spitballing here on, you know,

talking about no regrets and, and making sure that you, you, you get in the game is the night before we got married, we were at the rehearsal dinner and my wife gave me a little package and I opened the package up and, and in, inside this frame, this picture frame that still hangs in our basement was the napkin that was torn in half. And there was my phone number and gave it back to me. And it's a proud moment. And I think it's a realization that I would love to explain that to my son, maybe not my daughters, but explain that to my son. Like, hey man, there's some simple rules in life. And asking the hottest girl out in the room, it's a necessary evil. You got to go, bro. And it's okay to be scared, but it's not okay not to try. And that regret that you lay with when you're on your deathbed, although obviously I hope

that I'm not there anytime soon, I try to keep that mindset very, very relevant to life because I see opportunities every single day that, you know, you know, you, you have these internal conversations in your head. Wow. God damn it. I'm busy. I don't feel like doing it right now. And it goes on things like, you know, if we're going to take my dad on a ski trip for his 70th birthday, it's like his birthday's it's a March 2nd every year, you know, we're in busy season and we were getting busy. And it's like, my dad loves to go skiing on his birthday. And it's, do I take them? Do I not take him? Do I take him? Do I not? Fuck it. Let's go. Let's go. Because you know what? One day I won't get to spend that time with my dad.

Or you think about times in business or your career. And I also have this career story. You know, I think about the transition from my sales job at Johnson & Johnson to the transition of First Form. And I think what my life would look like had I not made the decision to chase my dreams, had I not made the decision to go and chase what I'm passionate about and intentional with and go help people change their lives. What would my life look like? And I can tell you, it would be drastically different. And had I not made that decision, because that decision at the time for me was extremely difficult. I was making mid six figures. I was young. I was 27, 28 years old. I had everything that you would kind of proverbially think you had life by the balls. I was making really good money.

I had company car, 401k. We had unbelievable stock options and I walked away. But I walked away not because of I was nervous or scared of what my corporate life would look like. I walked away because I didn't want to not take a shot at living the best fucking version of my life or not living up to my potential, which I believe is the true definition of success, is making sure that you chase your dreams and give life every motherfucking chance you got to win. And at that moment, if you can give yourself every single chance to win, even if you fail, you succeed. And I think that's all too often, like we're so scared to play the game of life because of the failures that we never have a chance of winning. They don't have to like failure, losing and winning, they're not opposing forces. They're actually one in the same

That in order to celebrate a win you must learn what a loss is That's the truth like that's how you have to look at life And if you're scared to fucking play because you're afraid to fucking lose you've already lost. That's the trick Like if you won't actually step into the game you lose And that's the regret that you sit in through life. That's the regret that you lay on your deathbed and you think, you know what? Maybe I should have done that. Maybe I should have chased my dreams because I can look at my life right now. And I think, what happens had I not made that decision? What happens had I listened to my friends? What happens

had I listened to everybody around me? My old boss, who's a great fucking guy. He taught me so many great things about being a great salesperson. His name's John Riley. He's such a fucking good human. And I left him. And I remember him saying, Sal, are you sure? Yes. Yes, John, I'm sure. And I remember making that choice. And I did listen. I fucking about 18 months in, I thought, man, maybe I made the wrong fucking choice. But I can tell you 10 years later, I unequivocally made the best fucking decision of my life. And it's to chase my dreams because now I don't have to worry about when I'm on my deathbed. Did I chase my dreams? No, motherfucker. Not only did I chase my dreams, but I asked the hottest chick out in the bar

and I got my fucking dream life because I decided to play the goddamn game. That's what I'm fucking playing for. And if I can give you one thing that comes with this podcast is to just simply take the opportunity to live life. Go, go give life a fucking chance. Go, go, go, go get vulnerable and get in the game. And I can tell you that the only, only, only success that I've ever truly had in life. And the only thing that I've ever figured out that value that, that, that that I found value in life is the shit that scares the shit out of me. The things that scare me the most are the things that I've learned to attack the hardest. Because it's when your feet are shaking,

your palms get sweaty, that's usually the position you need to be in. It's the time that you need to execute because those are the situations that you learn to regret later on in life. And I tell you that as a man who, I have failed a lot, but I understand that failure comes with playing. Failure comes with stepping up to the plate and failure comes with sometimes you get a little success. And that success just may be the marriage that you want because you had just enough courage to stand up to that bar and fucking ask the hottest chick in the room. That's what I ask you to do is to give yourself a chance at life so that you can live your best version of your life so that when you die, you have the least regret physically possible.