REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees

Episode Date: March 3, 2025

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to get your “fire” back when you feel monotonous on your journey to success, how to handle anxiety when you have too much on your plate, and what’s the best way to manage ego in high-performing employees.

What is up guys? It's Andy Fisela and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now you could submit your questions a few different ways. The first way is guys, email these questions into askandy at andyforsella.com or go on

YouTube in the Q&A F's ask your questions in the comment sections and we'll choose some from there as well. Other days we're gonna have shows within the show this is not a single format show we're gonna have CTI tomorrow that stands for cruise the internet that's a society culture comedy all mixed together try to deliver the news in a different way. We speculate on what's going on, what's true, what's not true. And then we talk about how we, the people have to solve these problems going on

in the world. Other times we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard versus 75 hard versus where people who have completed the 75 hard program come on the show They talk about how their life was before how their life is now and how they used the 75 hard program to transform Their mental state which transform the reality. All right, if you're unfamiliar with 75 heart is the world's biggest Most popular mental transformation program It is the initial phase of the Live Hard program.

And you could get both of those programs for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. There is also a book available at andyforsella.com called the book on mental toughness. It covers the entire Live Hard program, plus a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how to use it, and has some case studies on some famous people plus a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness why it's important how to use it and

Has some case studies on some famous people as to you know how they got to be famous using these skills So go get the book if you want It's for people who I don't know like the ins and outs and the ups and downs and all the details like me I have to know everything before I start things Or you could just go to episode 208 get the whole thing for free. It's your choice. Book is very popular. We're always sold out. So if we're sold out, that sucks for you. I mean, does one thing about this show, we don't run ads on the show. Okay. We're the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads. I am an actual entrepreneur. I run actual companies. And I finance the show myself. And the reason for that is because I don't want anybody telling me what I can and can't say. And in exchange for that, I ask very simply that you help

us grow the show by showing it. A lot of you guys listen, you habitually listen, and you don't help us, you don't share the show. Okay? So don't be a hoe sure the show all right, and you know buy our shit. You know I'm saying we'll just throw that in there That's the STM as a reminder Yeah, and by the way if you do want to support us you can buy these first-form energy drinks At your local convenience store grocery store if they don't have them ask them what the fuck is going on kind of operation Are you running here can't be a good one clearly not um Let's see

Mf CEO projects coming back. I just want to remind you guys and that We'll have some announcements on that very soon if you're unfamiliar with the Mf CEO project. It is the first podcast Before real af that I did it was the number one business podcast in the world not much changed there, but also It was the number one overall show for a long time So we're bringing that back and the reason I'm bringing it back is because I feel that I'm needed To teach the younger generation the skills of winning and we're gonna do that So if you're interested in getting the new MFCEO project it will not be available on iTunes or YouTube it's going to be available on an app. When I launch that app I will announce it

through my email list so go get on my email list subscribe to the Andy Graham you get a little motivational writing a little tactical knowledge every day to your inbox plus you'll get notified when the MFCEO project drops. So I'm excited about that, bro. Yeah, I'm excited about the things we're doing different. And we're lining up testimonials of people who have built seven, eight, nine figure companies with the skills of the first series.

That's gonna be cool. I mean, a lot of things are gonna be different. Well, I mean, I think what the coolest piece of it too, man, like outside looking in is like, I mean, you talk about like, you know, business. That's gonna be the interviews and the guests. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, like, it's gonna be cool, man,

cause it's gonna be, you know, not just the real entrepreneurs that I know, it's gonna be people who have used, you know, like bro, fucking, I talked to a guy yesterday who's got a $300 million company that was talking about how he used to listen to MFCEO when he was fucking, you know, hustling back in the day. So stuff like that. You know what I mean?

Well, you talk about what I'm what I like about it most is like, you know, you've talked about this before, like how business has its cycles and its evolutions and like you're in a new phase of business new to you, right? Yeah. Being able to apply all the shit that you've learned even. Yeah. Most recently. Well, I mean, look, dude, building a business to a million is a set of skills. Building a business from a million to 10 million, that's a set of skills. Now, a lot of those skills overlap, but there are skills you need to have. Building your business from 10 to 50 million,

that's a different thing. Yeah. Building your business from 50 million to 500 million, completely different thing. So you know, all of these skills overlap, but it's going to, it is going to be a lot different. It's going to be a lot more, a lot more knowledge to bestow. You know, I'm excited about it. And we're in the day right there. Yeah. Bestow. So let's bestow them with a little appetizer of knowledge. Let's do it just to get people through the week Well, I got some good ones for you. I know you do you got three good ones for you as usual Let's do it it's a new one for today to you the what usual Wow use a what use your Wow Use your Wow use your Wow What does that mean? Usual.

Okay. Let's, let's pisto. Guys, I have a question number one, man. Let's get into these, dude. Andy, I am in college and I'm doing excellent. Especially compared to last year. I used to party all week long, was able to maintain good grades. I changed it up and I am 20 years old and I have completed 75 hard back in November

for the first time. I haven't had a sip of alcohol since August. I'm actively doing 75 hard again and I'm giving it my all. I have aspirations to become a firefighter and a tattoo artist on the side to fill in my days off, but I often feel like I've been spaced out or that I have little to no interest in doing things. I used to dream of cars, houses, solid family. Now I have a hard time focusing on my purpose and my why

am I doing the things that I am? How do you recommend getting that fire back? And is it normal that it will get monotonous, right? Like, did you ever lose that, that fire of like what you want it to get and why you want it to get and how did you get it back? Of course, this is a long, hard, intense, brutal journey. You are going to feel like not doing it way more than you're going to feel like doing it once you start to do it. The way you feel about doing it is irrelevant.

And every championship person, every successful entrepreneur, every person that you've ever looked up to and said, Fuck, dude, I want to be like that. All of those people have learned a very specific skill. They have learned and understand that how they feel about doing the critical tasks that need to be done on a day by day basis is irrelevant. All that matters is that you do it. So how you feel about doing it does not matter.

There's no trophy for it. There's no reward for it. There's no monetary gain. No one cares. No one cares how you feel. You're the only one that cares. No one cares. So with that being understood, do you want to achieve your goals or do you want to stay

where you are and potentially and most likely go backwards from where you are? Those are your choices. So you can choose to understand that you have to execute at a high level, especially when you don't feel like it and you will eventually get where you want to go. Or you could say, I just don't feel like it like everybody else does and your life will fucking suck. That's it. It's gonna be hard either way. Either one of those paths is difficult. There's no path in

life where you get to skip through the fucking field of daisies with the hummingbirds and the bees and the sun shining on your motherfucking face and everything's gonna be great. There's no path to that in real life. Now, how many of the people that live this carefree, skip through the fucking daisies lifestyle actually remain in that position? Very few. If you pay attention, every year they're trying

to reinvent themselves. You know why? Because the internet gives people that don't know what the fuck they're talking about a platform to spread things with certainty. And so when they're, when they are skipping through the field, even though they have no money coming in and they have nobody around them and everything is, they pretend to know that what they're doing is the right thing for sure.

Okay. And that certainty then sucks people in and quite honestly ruins their fucking life because that person will be on to the next thing next year and the next thing the year after that and the next thing the year after that and they talk out their ass and don't know what the fuck they're talking about. So here's the thing. Of course you're not going to feel like it most of the time. This is why you have to train yourself to execute, which is called discipline, when you don't feel like it or when you're lacking motivation.

This is the entire point of the Live Hard program. It's the entire reason that the Live Hard program exists and why it's the most popular mental toughness discipline training program in the world. It's not because it doesn't work It's because it trains you to make the better decision not the harder decision the better decision When you don't feel like making it, okay, and that's another thing Why don't you reframe the decisions that you are making from? This is the hardest decision to this is the better decision this is what's going to move me forward this is what's going

to get me what I want when you think about it like that it makes it a lot easier to get off your ass and go fucking do it so yes it is absolutely normal to not feel like doing it there is not a single person who has ever achieved anything that you want to achieve that has felt like it every single day. It's hard. It's frustrating. There's things that are going to happen. You're going to get punched in the face. You're going to get sick. You're going to have breakups. You're going to have people let you down. You're going to have people steal from you. You're going to have friends let you down. You're going to be embarrassed. You're going to make mistakes and everybody's

going to see it and laugh at you. All of these things are going to happen. You have to build yourself into someone who can continue to execute regardless of what's happening around you. And if you can do that, it doesn't matter what's happening around you. It doesn't matter if they're laughing. It doesn't matter if they're making fun. It doesn't matter if the weather's bad. It doesn't matter if the economy's bad. It doesn't matter if your parents don't approve or your wife or your girlfriend or your husband. It doesn't fucking matter if you keep executing because eventually you will find yourself in the place you set out to be. Okay. That's the game. And I don't know how to explain it any better. Like if you are going to be a slave to your emotion, you are going to lack control in all areas

of your life forever. You cannot be a slave to how you feel. Decisions made about your life have to be made with the outcome in mind and you have to commit to Taking those actions with the outcome in mind understanding that if you don't take them your life is gonna be shitty and you're gonna be Frustrated and you're gonna be be fucking disappointed and unfulfilled and and dude It's it's just uh, it's the way it is Yeah, let's's tie this into materialism. Cause he mentioned like, you know, he had these dreams of cars and houses and stuff. And I know for you, it was a Lamborghini Countach, right? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. How important was that for you? Like, I mean, like, can we, we talk about motivation, right? Like it's hard to like, on those days you don't feel like doing shit. I mean, is that really what you look towards? Like, is that, you know what I'm saying?

Like what is it? Dude, listen, this game is so fucking hard. You gotta use whatever the fuck you can, okay? Yes, material goals are an amazing motivator, especially when you don't have anything. When you can't go to dinner at the nice restaurants and you're driving a fucking rusted out beater and you're embarrassed to get out of the car

and all these things that that sucks Okay, your life is much better when you're driving a nice car. That's reality, dude And anybody who tells you different hasn't driven a nice car. It's just the facts It's true. All right, a lot of people like to say little shit doesn't matter. It's just transportation a to be well Have you ever gone anywhere in a Bugatti? Because it's pretty fucking cool. It'll be pretty cool. Yeah, and you get there a lot faster All right so don't listen to motherfuckers that have never experienced the experiences that you want to experience because Because it's pretty fucking cool. It'll be pretty cool. Yeah. And you get there a lot faster.

Alright? So don't listen to motherfuckers that have never experienced the experiences that you want to experience because they have no perspective or standing to comment on it. Okay? So, anything that you can do to drive you is a good thing. Some people it's money. Some people it's cars. Some people it's lifestyle.

Some people it's money, some people it's cars, some people it's lifestyle, some people it's watches and suits. And by the way, it was all those things for me for a long fucking time. Okay? Because I was young and I lacked the understanding of how to drive myself without those things. And once I got all those things in business, once I accumulated some cool stuff and I realized like well, fuck dude, there's only so much cool shit you can get. And then I did some searching internally and tried to, you know, like I probably going

through a lot with this young man's going through where he's thinking like, well, why am I doing this? And what I started to realize is that, you know, I looked around and I'm like, well, at that time There was probably we probably had 80 guys total 80 people and I looked around like well This guy depends on this this guy depends on this That guy's not driving a nice car yet. That guy hasn't bought a house and I started to realize my obligation was not just to myself it it was to everybody else. And so as I progressed through the process, my drive and purpose changed.

And it became from a what you probably most people would consider a selfish purpose. I want this. I want that, which is natural. When you don't have shit You got to take care of yourself to solve that problem Okay But once you have it a lot of this is why you hear a lot of people go broke once they get some success because they lack the ability to redefine what their purpose actually is and so I

Got to a point where I had all this stuff. I started looking around and then I expanded my purpose. Okay, I expanded my purpose. I realized well, dude, you still got a long way to go. You got to scale these companies so that the people who helped you get where you are can have opportunities to get what they want. Okay, so that became like a second purpose and a new wind in my sails, which pushed me down. Now, by the way way still love the cars I really don't care about watches anymore. I like suits, but the point is none of that shit really gets me that excited Okay, once in a while it does but

That's really not it. Okay, what it and by the way now I have companies built to where really anybody that's in these companies has unlimited opportunity and upward mobility if they want to dedicate themselves to it the proper way. Right. So there's that. Okay. So I did that and I'm continuing to do that.

So what's my bigger purpose past that once I did? So what am I supposed to go home at 42 years old and fucking sit on the couch and fuck off? You know, that wasn't very fun. So then I had to redef home and at 42 years old and fucking sit on the couch and fuck off? You know that wasn't very fun. So then I had to redefine my purpose again and what my purpose became then was alright Well, what's the what's going on in the world? Well? For the last five years and really now that I've become more aware. It's been the last hundred years We have lived in a country

where it's been the last 100 years, we have lived in a country that isn't what it should be. And the reason it isn't what it should be is because the individuals allow it to be that. So what's that problem? Well, that that is a problem that I can help solve because if we can make the people great and we can make the people skilled and we can make the people high achievers, that makes it harder to control them and they have a better life. If they have a better life, that means the standard is raised. If the standard is raised in a household, the standard can be raised with the neighbor. If the standard can be raised with the neighbor, it can be raised in the community. If it can be raised in the community, it can be raised at the state. If we can raise all the states, we can make the country great again by individual

success and accomplishment and the holding of standards. And so when I say personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion, that's what I mean, because our country is only as good as its individuals. So now my purpose has expanded where I feel the need to teach what I know about business and success more in a more pointed fashion so that we can help solve that problem.

So these are this is the scaling of of your purpose, which is just as important as scaling your business. Because if you scale into a big business and then you're there and you don't have any purpose, you're going to be miserable. You're because, dude, human beings, especially men, okay? No disrespect to the women at all, but men and women are different and men inherently have a drive to

provide, contribute, create, and build things. All right. Protect things and people. okay? And when you take that away and you make them ultra comfortable and you give them all the food they want and you let them live and they don't have any purpose bro, they're fucking miserable, which is why we have such a mental health crisis with the men in this country. They don't have enough problems to solve and the problems that they're committed to solving are just them chasing the cheese and the fucking hamster wheel bro, so we have to Acknowledge and become aware of bigger problems that we can solve

That will bring us ultimate fulfillment. Okay. So yeah in the beginning when you're 20 years old, dude It might just be I want cars and I want a watch and I want girls to like me. Then it could be, when you're 30, it could be, hey, I've gotten here, now I gotta bring people here. And then when you're 40, you're like, well, fuck, I brought some people here. And if they're not here, it's on them

because they haven't committed, then what's a bigger purpose and a bigger purpose. And like for me, dude, you know, uh, that's just how it's played out. And everybody I know that is ultra successful and doesn't end up losing it or going crazy or having so many mental health issues, they need to be committed. Um, the reason that they're able to function over the course of their life is because they're continuing

to redefine what their mission is and what their purpose is. Is it, I mean, cause I look at like, you know, you talk about that beginning motivation, but even just to get you to that point where you can start worrying about other people, how much good has come out of having a fucking aspiration of that kuntosh bro a lot? That's I you know what? People like oh, you just wanted the kuntosh, but that's selfish as fuck. Yeah, so you guys know Gary V. I love Gary Gary's been a massively

Influential person in my life for the last 15 years. Yeah been a massively influential person in my life for the last 15 years. Yeah. Awesome dude. He's a great dude and he's hyper intelligent and people do not realize how tuned in that dude is. One of the things that Gary and I, now we've had a couple disagreements over the course of the 15 years we've been friends. One of the disagreements was he made a post one time laughing at like people that

buy nice cars. And I messaged him I said, Hey, you know, I understand you're from New York and you guys don't drive cars and shit up there. But like, let me tell you about cars. And I told him, you know that and and dude, he he admitted it. He was like, well, that's different. You have a passion for cars. You're not just trying to keep up with the fucking Jones's. Okay. Which is true. But the point of the matter is, you know, you got to be careful not to shit on people's material goals. Don't take those dreams away from people. Like when people have dreams of material shit, don't shit on us. Don't,

don't say, Oh, that's, that's stupid. Or that's bullshitter. You're just a clown for wanting that because dude that might be the thing That drives them to the next thing and then that and then drives them to the next thing and then all of a sudden Dude, like me you've got do thousands of people that are Providing for themselves and their families because of the companies that these people have created which started with just a simple Want for some cool shit so like dude you can't Quantify

What could actually happen broke Elon Musk? Let's talk about Elon right now as an entrepreneur, okay? Elon Musk as an entrepreneur bought a million dollar McLaren F1 in 1999 as an entrepreneur. Bought a million dollar McLaren F1 in 1999. OK, and to spend a million dollars on a car in 1999, huge deal. He loves cars. Huge car guy. OK, but I don't know that he's in the cars anymore. You know why? Because he decided that his purpose was going to be to go to fucking space.

You like space? Yeah, like expand his purpose. The point is now this dude employs, I I mean hundreds of thousands of people in his different companies because he continued to expand What his purpose was and I believe his he's you know expanded again, you know Which is similar to a line with what my purpose is So, you know, he's looked at the world and he's like well fuck we got to fix this, you know, and you know That's that's how it goes, bro to fix this you know and uh you know that's that's how it goes bro and if you want to actually win long term um you have to redefine what that purpose is going to be over and over and over again and you know if you want to be a responsible

role model and leader i don't think you should shit on people's goals because you never know what that's going to lead to i love it. I love it guys Andy question number two Hey, Andy, I've listened to nearly every episode since 2017 and I want to thank you for being the main source of my business growth over the years. My question is this Andy You've talked on the podcast about severe anxiety before I'm 24 years old and for the first time in my life I've started to have the exact same problem some days. It's to the point where I want to stay in bed Take a loss just to be able to function for the rest of the week With so many depending on me to succeed. I don't want to slow down. In fact, I want to do more

How have you built up your resilience to these issues? And what do you do when that stuff happens now? Talking about anxiety specifically. All right I got a lot to say here. Number one when you consume content on the internet as an entrepreneur, as an ambitious person, as someone who wants to succeed, you have to consume it with the filter of this is not for people who are doing what I want to do. This is for everybody else. Entrepreneurs, driven people, ambitious people have a different set of rules to the game that apply to them than everybody else. And so when you consume all of this shit, it's telling you, you have to do this and you have to live like that

and you better feel like this, all of a sudden we start analyzing ourselves and we're like, well, fuck dude, I'm not really any of those things. And then you end up in a situation where you feel anxious about it. You feel like you're fucked up or there's something wrong with you.

And dude, that shit will drive you crazy. So that's point number one. Stop consuming all the data on the internet written by motherfuckers who haven't done anything near what you want to do. And let me explain something to you. That includes people who have just have a podcast. That includes people who just have a coaching business. I'm talking about people for entrepreneurship who have built actual companies. Listen to them. Read what they say.

And everybody else can get the fuck out of the way. Okay, that's what you have to understand. If you consume the rules of the game, written by people who have never played the game, and who have never even come close to winning the game, by people who have never played the game and who have never even come close to winning the game, you're going to feel crazy. And that's most of the information on the internet. Most of these people writing the therapy memes and most of the people who are writing the, you know, these, these, uh, feel good shit. Yeah. There's first of all,

most of those people are stealing the writing. They don't even know what the fuck they're writing and It doesn't it just doesn't apply bro. We live by to be a successful entrepreneur. It takes a different path That's it And so if you're on a path and you're reading about all the other paths You're gonna be confused and you're gonna start analyzing yourself because dude we want to be the best as entrepreneurs as ambitious people as people Who want to build and create and become things we want to be confused and you're going to start analyzing yourself because dude, we want to be the best as entrepreneurs, as ambitious people, as people who want to build and create and become things. We want to be the best. So when we lack these little things that, you know, other people say that they should have, we start feeling bad and we get anxiety and we judge ourselves and the reality is, is those are the rules for everybody else. The rules for

us are different. And once you figure that out, you have far less anxiety. Number two, we need to realize that people need people like us. They need people that are hungry. They need people that want to build. They need people that are obsessed. They need people that are going to create and become and do the things for the world that the world fucking enjoys. Okay. and do the things for the world that the world fucking enjoys. Okay, that's building companies, building organizations, achievement that creates careers

and jobs and innovations and cures. These things are needed and guess who they come from? They don't come from all those people. They come from people like us. All right, so you are needed and you are a fucking different breed than all of those people. And by the way, that's okay. Because without people that thought like us, they wouldn't have fucking anything. All

right? So understand your obsession is needed. Your imbalance is needed. Your drive is needed. Your ambition is needed. All of it is needed. So that's point number two. Point number three is when ambitious people do not have a detailed plan to work, they feel anxiety. So I would ask yourself, do you have a detailed plan to get up and work every single day and do these things every single day? Or do you just have some abstract vision that maybe one day you want to create? Because if you had a fucking day by day detailed plan of the execution that you would be too busy to feel anxious for real. So those are the three things that I think really help me when I start to feel anxious.

Usually the reason that I start to feel anxious is because of the first part where I'm consuming information. That you're supposed to be consuming. Yeah, or the third part. I'm not clear on the steps I need to take. Whenever I have a problem that needs to be solved, I get the most anxiety when I don't know the answer or don't have a plan. When I create the plan and I know that the plan will equate to an answer, even if it takes a year, I don't

have the anxiety about it anymore because I know the solution. All right? So with that being said, um, you have to realize that warrior mentality, builder, mentality, creator, mentality, intense mentality is needed. It's a fucking need of civilization and society. It's always been there and it's a very important role. And we have dealt with the condemnation and villainization of these traits for a very long time. All right? Intentionally.

Why do you think they don't want you to achieve anything? Why do they think they want you to be? There's multiple reasons, but the point is none of them are valid and you are definitely in the right for wanting to go create shit. But other than that, dude, you know, anxiety typically is a normal ebb and flow of just being a human being. And if you learn how to listen to it, what it usually tells you is,

get off your ass and go solve this problem. Okay, so that's- It's a flag of like- Yes, it's a signal. It's a signal. Bro, back in the day, you know, when's a signal. It's a signal bro back in the day You know when you would have the caveman will get anxiety The reason he would get anxiety is because he have any fucking food, right?

And he's like fuck. I don't know where my food's gonna come from. So guess what he had to do He had to get some food. Okay. These are triggers that cause us to Understand that there's a problem identify a problem and then go solve it, all right? But we are now inundated with all of this shit in the world that tells us it's wrong to feel any anxiety. Okay? Dude, if you start focusing and living your day to feel zero anxiety,

you are going to feel a multiple effect of anxiety because you are, you are ultra sensitive to anxiety when it creeps in. All right. If you go through your day and you're like, fuck dude, I'm just going to try to get through my day. I'm going to get through, get through my day. I'm going to try to get through my day and then something happens. Okay. And then all of a sudden you're like, fuck, fuck, I can't get through my one day without feeling this. And it causes an overreaction because you have an unrealistic expectation of a normal human emotion, which is anxiety, dude.

So what's it telling you, bro? Yeah, it's normal. What's it telling you? What's it telling you, bro? Yeah, it's normal. What's it telling you? What's it telling you to do? If you're, if you're, if you're not where you're supposed to be, you're probably going to feel it. If you're not doing what you're supposed to do, you're probably going to feel it. If you're not living how you're supposed to live, you're probably going to feel it. It doesn't mean there's something wrong. You got to go fix that shit. All right. So that's my answer on that, dude. Like it's, it's something that everybody goes through. It's something that is fairly normal for most entrepreneurs,

but it typically comes from not understanding what to do, not having a plan, having unrealistic expectations about anxiety, consuming the wrong information, and then thinking it's wrong to be a driven, ambitious human being, letting people convince you that it's wrong it's not fucking wrong it's required in society but even just thinking about that for a second like the people who tell you like oh you know you're not supposed to have any anxiety they're telling you to ignore all of that fucking warning signs to do it which creates more like bro it's so wild it's listen it's the predatory therapist industry at this point. Okay, they have convinced people that Having any kind of anxiety means that there's something wrong with them and that they need and by the way

What are they trying to do? They're selling you something and I can't think of a more Disgusting way to make money than to convince people they have a problem that they don't actually have and then charge them money to solve it. Okay? Or convincing someone that they are mentally broken when in reality they're just not doing what a human's supposed to do and then charging money forever to pretend like they're broken. Like dude, I can't think of a more scummy lowlife way to make a living It's just my opinion. Yeah, you're not broken, bro

You're fucking built for it and you need to go do it. Love it, man. I love it guys Let's get to our third and final question question number three. Hi Andy I just like how they put their hello. Hi Andy. Yeah, greetings. I love the show and I've been listening to it for years and I've taken so many lessons from it. My business partner and I opened up our practice

in December of 2023 and have been collecting north of $100,000 a month. Great growth, but hungry for more. With that, we've begun hiring people to help with the day-to-day operations and tasks. Unfortunately, one employee brings a lot of personal issues to work through her mood, effort with tasks, and sometimes messages saying she won't be in to work

that day out of the blue. We rely on her to take stress off of our plate. When she is there and on point, she's the best worker ever. But when she isn't, it frustrates both of us and puts more on our plate. We do the best to lead by example, discuss expectations, but these issues do present. She's our first hire, so we are new to having someone work with us any help on what to do fire her Don't give up on her yet need some advice Okay, first of all, it's it's important to understand why this is happening If that's your first hire and that person as you say is an awesome employee

Which I would have very strong arguments against this. But you, because you don't have experience, say that this person is awesome. She's awesome, right. So let's just go with that. This person is the best employee ever. I would bet that you have pointed to that person with the rest of your team and built them up many, many times.

And now you have a problem of hubris and ego in that person and they are leveraging you and your goodwill thinking that they are untouchable. So you have a big problem here. The reason this is a big problem is because if that person is your highest performing person and you have pointed to that person as your highest performing person and you have pointed to that person as your highest performing person, then your other employees are going to adopt the behavior of this person. And in reality, you don't want any of your employees to adopt the behavior of this person, regardless of how well they do the thing that you hire them for. Because just like you said,

now you're dealing with all this other bullshit you created this out of your inexperience and that's no fault of yours you don't know what you're doing most people don't when they make their first hire but let me let you into this person's mind that person thinks this they need me I was their first hire I'm the best at what I do I can get away with not showing up. I can get away with not showing up sometimes I can get away with not doing the certain things like everybody else. That's what they think so What are your options?

well your options are you can either get that straightened out and You can explain to them why it's important and the reason it's important and the reason it is important is because that person Has been made an example for the other employees to follow. And if that person isn't doing things, the way that you require people to do things, nobody else will either. And if you can explain that to someone, sometimes they will correct their behavior because they're not aware that they're actually a cancer to the culture and the operation of the business. But more than likely that person is going to continue to believe they need me and

I can do whatever I want. And they will eventually go back to their old ways. So my recommendation would be to fire them and then get everybody in a room and tell them this. I don't give a fuck how much you sell. I don't give a fuck how good you think you are. I don't care what you, how much you think we're going to do things a certain way here and they're going to be done that way. And if you don't give a fuck how good you think you are I don't care what you how much you think we we're gonna do things a certain way here and they're gonna be done that way And if you don't do doom this way you won't be here and what that does is that shows your team that it doesn't matter Who it is if they don't contribute and they aren't a cultural fit and they don't do the basics They're not gonna be here. Okay, which what do you think the rest of the team will do now?

They're going to say and the conversation will go like this. Well, fuck it. They're getting ready to get rid of Michelle and she's killing everybody. I mean, fuck, dude, we better do what we're told and we better do it right. Yeah. OK, so you're dealing with a lot of conversations and a lot of thoughts and things that you're not actually getting to see. But if you've been in business long enough, you know how it goes. So this is a normal thing that you're probably going to deal with over and over again as a business owner. You're going to have people that come in, they get so much better than everybody else that they

think the rules don't apply. And the problem with that is, is that it destroys your culture because if you let them do that and don't let anybody else do that, your team's not gonna respect you. They're not gonna respect the company, they're not gonna respect the mission, they're not gonna go to bat for you, they're not gonna work hard.

They're gonna say, well, fuck that. That's a different standard. People like to play by the same set of rules. And the reality is, is if that person's doing that now, and do you want them doing that when your business is 20 times bigger? Right. You see what I'm saying?

So my advice would be if I was, you know, if you were hiring me to consult your company, I would say remove this person, explain to the team why, use it as a culture building lesson. And the reality is, dude, your other employees probably hate that person because they gotta come in and do all this shit and that person's getting away with this other shit.

They're probably like, fuck Michelle, fuck her. You see what I'm saying? Right, good riddance. Yeah, and then if you don't do anything about it, they say, well, fuck Michelle and DJ, that's DJ's little pet fuck him He's letting her so they lose respect for her and you and the company and the mission and things don't go well, so That's my answer I wouldn't fucking put up with it

I have put up with it in the past and every time I've ever put up with it I got fucking burned every single time so from now. I don't put up with anymore. It is what it is I was gonna actually that stuff like that's like that also leads into you know I guess just emotions in business right like as a operator owner right like hot like how hard was that to have to? Get your heart out of these emotional because like bro. I get you want to care about people right like How hard is that it's harder when you don't have degrees of separation between you and the people in your company, because people will pull on your heartstrings and your good nature. They'll know that you have a good heart and they'll use it against you, dude. Every time. Yeah, bro, I had a person one time come to me, and I'm just going to give you an example of the kind of shit that you'll deal with. I had a person one time come to me and I'm just going to give you an example of the kind

of shit that you'll deal with. I had a person come to me one time and tell me that they were sick and they couldn't afford their medical bills. The medical bills were $8,000. And $8,000 from where I'm at in life can make a big impact on their life. Not for me. I don't, I don't even notice it. Okay.

Um, I paid the medical bills and a week later, the person quits. Okay. And then I call over to the department that they were in and I said, what, what what what happened here and The person had missed or left early in the last 12 months 60 days 60 days, okay, which I was infuriated why that was even tolerated in the first place So I walked into my brother's office and I said you're never gonna fucking believe this So I walked into my brother's office and I said, you're never gonna fucking believe this.

And I told him the story and he said, no fucking way. And I said, I said, why? He goes, that person came to me and asked me for five grand and I gave it to him two weeks ago. Oh shit. Yeah. So, and because we're good people, Yeah bro.

You understand? And we care about people. That's the kind of shit people will do to you. They don't care. They don't give a fuck about you They you know now in my case I think that's a very rare

You know exception of the rule from the people that we work with for sure, but It happens. No these listen. I can tell you this shit happens all the time, bro You can't allow people to have an inch because they'll take fucking they'll take a fucking mile and You got to be careful you got to be careful who you letting your dude I was talking to my buddy earlier today In the car world and he has a guy who won a billion dollar Powerball. Okay. Um, and I fucking commented back. I texted him back.

I said, well, dude, I hope he understands how to fucking push the scammers and the crooks and the this and that away. Cause they come bro. They come and people you know when you're a good person and You want to help people and you want to do right by people and people start to figure out that that's genuine they will line the fuck up to take advantage of it and It's disheartening it's frustrating it makes you feel like a fucking idiot, but at the end of the day

you know when I die I makes you feel like a fucking idiot. But at the end of the day, you know, when I die, I wanna be able to say I did the right thing. Yeah. You know? And that's how I look at it when I look back and I say, God, you're stupid for doing those things. But really, dude, that's on people like that. Yeah, that's not on you.

Yeah, right. You know what I'm saying? Like, it still pisses you the fuck off, especially when these people go out in the real world and pretend like they're such great people. You know what I'm saying? But it is what it is. And, you know, getting back to the original question, I, you can't tolerate bad behavior just because people produce high value when they're there. And when you said, oh, that's a perfect, that's not a fucking, that's a terrible employee, fucking terrible. You think it's good because they can sell some shit or they can do some shit.

That's a terrible employee that will ruin your fucking business if you allow employees like that to exist in your company. So my advice to you would be to walk in and say, thank you for everything that you've done, but these things are unacceptable and they're unacceptable for this reason. And if these things can't get fixed and by fixed, I mean, never, ever fucking happen again. And you can't step up and lead the rest of the team with your actions and how you perform, then we are going to have to part ways right now.

And that person's going to be, they're going to, they're going to get defensive. They're going to be like, I'm your best blah blah blah. And if they do that, fucking fire them out. Right. Yeah. Immediately. Now if they say hey, I never thought about it like that man. I'm sorry I made you, I'm making you look fucking stupid aren't I? If they say something like that, now they're getting it. Okay and you could give that person a chance but if they automatically go to well I'm the best fuck you I don't give a fuck I'd rather work with fucking I'd rather work with people that are good people that aren't as skilled and teach them the skill than someone like you who fucking thinks they're the best and acts like a fucking dong bag you know I'm saying so yeah that was real shit man I love it I love it man

well guys that was three yeah don't be ho