REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on what’s the best to way to ask for a raise when you are the top performer in your company, how to develop the ability to stay calm and focused in stressful situations, and how to help your kids to develop the entrepreneurial mindset to set them up for long-term success in life.

What is up guys it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest say goodbye to the lies the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today. We have Q&A F That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers now You can submit your questions a few different ways the first way is guys email these questions into ask Andy at Andy for Sala Com or you go on YouTube under the Q&A F episodes drop your question in the comments and we'll choose some from there as well Now throughout the week we have shows within the show. It's not always Q&A F episodes, drop your question in the comments and we'll choose some from there as well. Now throughout the week we have shows within the show. It's not always Q&A. Tomorrow we'll have CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics on the screen. We speculate on what's going on. We talk about what's true and what's not true and then we

talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times throughout the week we might have real talk real talk just five to 20 minutes and be giving you some real talk And then sometimes we have 75 hard versus that's where someone who has completed the 75 hard program Comes on the show talks about how their life was before how their life is after and how they use the 75 hard program To take control of their life after and how they use the 75 hard program to take control of their life. Now, if you're unfamiliar with 75 heart is the initial phase of the live hard program, which can be found for free at episode two, zero eight on the audio feed. Again, that's two zero eight on the audio feed.

There's also a book at Andy for seller.com called the book on mental toughness. You can get that book. It's not free, but it does go much further in depth than what the podcast does. So it has the entire Live Hard program. It has the entire 75 Hard book inside of that book. It has multiple chapters on mental toughness and a whole lot of extra stuff as well.

So that book is available at andyforsella.com. With that being said, we are the largest show in the world that does not run ads. Now, I do have an ask, and the ask is very simple. One, share the show, help us grow the show. The show makes you think, if it makes you laugh. It gives you new perspective. If you learn some valuable skills, do us a favor and help us grow the show by sharing it. All right, we have a saying we say around here. Goes like, don't be a ho, share the show.

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What's going on, Yolkness? Yeah, I'm getting there, yeah, getting back. Yeah man, no, it's a great day, man. We got some good questions here. Really? Yeah, I mean, I think so. To be determined. So what do you got?

I got three good ones for you. That's what I thought. Yeah, I got three good ones for you, man. Yeah, all right. Everything good with you, though, before we go? Yeah, man, everything's good. Staying focused, feeling real focused, more focused than I felt in quite a long time,

feeling good, excited about the future, you know? Got a lot of new stuff getting ready to launch, as you know. But you guys don't know really yet. But the biggest thing you do know about, which is the MFCO project's coming back, it's gonna be on an app and we're going to Inform you about that when it drops via email I'm not really gonna talk about it on the show

I'm not gonna go out there and talk about it on social This is for you guys who have supported me for many many many years And you can get that, you know through the email. So if you're not on the email list I know most of you guys are because you get the and you can get that you know through the email so if you're not on the email list I know most of you guys are because you get the Andy grams every day go to my site Andy for sell it calm register for the Andy Graham which is a daily email that you're gonna get I'm not gonna blow you up with a bunch of bullshit every single day 15 fucking emails a day I hate that shit too we're not gonna sell your information to other people. Go on there, sign up.

You're going to get valuable information sent to your inbox once a day, and then you'll get an email about when we drop the app. So yeah, I'm excited about that, bro. As you know, we've been recording those for quite some time. And I'm having fun recording them, dude. Like, it's really my wheelhouse to talk about business and success and winning and mindset and The psychology behind winning how you have to think how you have to act and then obviously the techniques of how to win

These are the things I enjoy to talk about the most and It energizes me as opposed to talking about the current events which sometimes leave me frustrated as they do you but you know, I think it's important that we need we need to understand both Especially as entrepreneurs, you know, we have to understand the social environment Because if we don't have good soil meaning freedom to plant our seeds in they can't sprout and so in addition to that we we need the techniques. And we have some big problems going on in the world

and in this country, but the reality is, is those problems are solved by each of us individually. And like I say to you guys all the time, personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion. And that includes becoming financially free of the system, building things, becoming the best possible version of ourselves, building, creating, becoming everything that we were here to be. And once we become great, our family picks it up.

When our family picks it up, our neighbors pick it up. When our neighbors pick it up, our community picks it up, and the standard of everybody raises. And we all have a unique responsibility and an independent responsibility to do that. And so I'm excited to, you know, sort of merge these two things together that I've done over the last 10 years. You know, we spent the first five years doing MFCEO project. We spent the last five doing real AF and I'm really excited to to really show you guys what we have

You know cooked up for you. It's it's much different than the old MFC Oh, we have a lot of people who have gone on to create eight nine-figure businesses That credit that information for them doing so we're gonna be bringing those people on you know Not your typical internet quote-unquote influencers, but actual people just like you guys To talk about how they did it what information was the most valuable? The things they've learned through their experiences. So it's gonna be it's gonna be cool, dude I'm excited for it. I'm excited to do it bro Every time I do it and I know you're usually not there when I do it

But these guys are all there and like dude every time I get up to walk out not there when I do it, but these guys are all there. And like, dude, every time I get up, they'll walk out of there, I'm like, fuck yeah. That was fucking awesome. Laying down the meat. Dude, it's just, no, it's just, it's just, I feel like it's tactical, real information that can improve people's lives today. And that feels good, right?

The time is right for it too. Yeah, we have a lot of young people who have been lied to For their entire school career. That's a whole nother thing That's a whole nother reason for me doing this is I realized that a lot of our young people have been misled and lied to and told things that aren't true and indoctrinated into ways of thinking that you know, and they're figuring it out and now they're like well shit what do I do now and you know we have parents spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to send their kids to college where they're not even really learning

anything from people who have never done anything I'm you know like we got to fix this shit yeah and I'm just excited to do my little part of it You know 100% man. Well personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion. So let's make some some people rebellious today. Let's do it guys Andy question number one Andy I'm not even sure where to begin with this question But I'm looking for your opinion on my situation. I recently received my yearly performance review, which I met or exceeded all expectations. Was a top performer with top quality results and all year long my manager told me, quote,

I have no items for improvement. Just keep up the great work. Overall, it was a great review. However, when discussing the merit increase that is supposed to be based on the performance review, he gave me a 0% increase. To say I was am disappointed in this is an understatement, especially when his reasoning is that he wants to give others on the team more in order to raise their salaries as I currently make more than them supposedly.

Truthfully, I don't believe anyone else's salary is my business nor do I believe I should be penalized for something that has nothing to do with me. I had an incredible year and I feel I deserved a matching merit increase. It should be noted that this is our only opportunity per year to earn an increase. So two questions for you, Andy. If you were in my situation, what would you do? And then as a business owner, what are your thoughts on this and would you ever do this to your top performer? Thank you in advance for your insight It's prenuers man. Well, look, I I think that's a fair I like I like the way that that question was asked because

Clearly this person understands there's two sides to the equation here and they're not being bitter about it yeah that's a perfect the way that that was presented was very professional and I appreciate that so where do we start here okay first of all if you really are the best performing person and they promised you a raise and they didn't give you one, that's kind of fucked up. That's pretty fucked up. That's not indicative of-

You have been gaslit. Maybe, maybe. That's what I'm saying. That's not indicative of normal behavior in my opinion. I am a big believer that if I ask someone to go do things and they do them and exceed those expectations and rewarding them for that performance. I think most effective businesses feel that way. But there could be a couple other things that are playing into this that you may not be

aware of. From the business owners' side, you know, profitability could be down there. Maybe there's not enough money to actually give the raise. And maybe he doesn't want to say that to you because he doesn't want you to fucking quit. Okay. Maybe he's telling you this excuse, which sounds absurd to me so that you don't think that like he's just stiffen you or she's just stiffen you and you know, I don't know why they would tell you that because that makes no sense.

Like I'm gonna reward people who are less performers than you because they're getting paid not enough. Well then they should perform. Yeah, sounds simple, yeah. Yeah, it's very simple. And also your employees life decisions Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's very simple and also Your employees life decisions Aren't the company's responsibility to reward them for like a lot of people are poor managers of finance

And then they equate that to being not paid enough. No, you're paid appropriately You spend too much fucking money. Yeah, right. What are those $300 fucking Jordans doing on your feet, right? You know I'm saying So There could be a lot of different things going on here What I would do is I would ask to have another meeting for clarification and I would say look And I would have no qualms about having this very direct conversation I would say look And I would have no qualms about having this very direct conversation I would say look I Did everything you asked me to do I'd have the proof I'd have the data Okay, and it's very important that when you go to ask for a raise that you always bring the data

All right, because a lot of people will just bring you arbitrary shit emotions. I did this I did that I well, what's the proof? Yeah, where's the proof? How much did you drive revenue for your job? How much profitability did you have? What other things did you do that were in the scope? What projects did you complete? What projects did you start and complete? All of these things have to be written down and tracked are incomplete. All of these things have to be written down and tracked. Otherwise, your boss or whoever is making this decision is going to be like, well, this sounds like bullshit, even if they know it's true. So it's important for you to track those things. I would sit down, I'd have the information ready. I'd say, look, I was told this, I did this with

the expectation of this, and this isn't happening and I don't think that's right. And I would see what they say and maybe they get, you get a little more transparency on what the decision was made around because it does sound like the decision or the excuse that they're giving you doesn't, it sounds like bullshit. I'm, I just, I can't make, I can't make sense of that. Why would you tell someone that you're going to pay the money that you were going to pay them that they earned to other people to get them more productive That makes no sense. So that sounds like bullshit anything give them the money They'll see that and like they get more productive when they fucking quit. Absolutely. Yeah, that's the correct move. Yeah, so I would ask for conversation and I would be prepared to walk out of that meeting into another career if

You don't get treated or get at least an expectation. There might be a situation where the guy says hey look What's the guy's name? Does he give his name? Nope. No name. All right, Steve. Look Steve. I Love you, bro But I got to be honest with you man. Like this hasn't been the best year we're in a situation now where we really need to fucking get these other guys to perform because I don't have the profitability or the margin To pay you this extra money You know, how do you know that the owners even getting paid? We you know what I'm saying?

So there could be a lot of different things happening and I could tell you there's been times in my career So there could be a lot of different things happening and I could tell you there's been times in my career Where we didn't have enough money to get raises and there were people that deserved them and I couldn't afford to give them to them And when those situations happened, I'd have a very frank discussion with them and I'd say look Here's where I'm at bro, and I would be very transparent and I would say what do you suggest that I do here? and then that becomes a very productive conversation because usually if that person is really invested, like it sounds like this person is, they will get on board with you, the owner, to help the other people start to perform so that we get in a position to give the raise. You see? So that's what I would do. I would have

a conversation. If it goes well, he's probably gonna be transparent There's probably gonna be a better reason as to why they didn't give you that if it doesn't go well he's probably gonna feed you the same line of bullshit and you're gonna have to understand that This might be an indication that no matter how hard you work or how much you perform You're gonna be capped at your earning potential in that organization, which means you have to find a new organization. Okay. So it's a tough position, but you know, most people, let me give you the, the real way to get paid more money while we're talking about it. Here's the real way. This is the only way that fucking works. Okay. You have to be so fucking valuable that the company can't afford to

let you walk. Okay. That is it. Because you have to be so valuable that you can literally leverage the company into giving you more money. No one's going to give you more money. No one's going to bless you with riches. It's not going to fucking happen. We are one of the few companies that I think pays people more when we start to see it automatically without having them have to ask. Now sometimes they do have to ask

because we have a lot of employees and not everybody gets the proper recognition. But in most cases, companies are not like that. They will force you to have a conversation to get the money. And how many years you've been there doesn't fucking matter. How many days you showed up doesn't fucking matter. Participation doesn't fucking matter. None of these things that most people think matter actually matter.

Here's the truth. If you perform to a level that is undeniable and it's undeniably valuable to the company. that is undeniable and it's undeniably valuable to the company, you have the leverage because there's not many people out here that actually operate that way. So your goal should be to outperform expectations in such a way that you could now walk into this person's office and say, Hey, listen, man, uh, you know, you guys didn't pay me and I was told that we were going to do this and I did everything I was supposed to do. And here's the deal. Like I know I'm the only one in here that can fucking do that.

So I'm not trying to be a dick, but dude, you've got to pay me what I'm worth or I'm going to find another place to contribute to. And it's not, I'm not being mean. I'm not being, but I, you know, at know at the end of the day dude I've got responsibilities you have responsibilities totally understand that but I think we can both agree that there's nobody in here doing this and whatever that is needs to be fucking way better than everybody else I guess that's what you're saying like I'd be careful I have the data so it doesn't just come off as ego yeah right like

well it does come off as ego if you come in there without the data comes off as bullshit, right? Look, dude, most CEOs are people that met if your manager is in charge of giving you the race He's probably gonna know the data, but he probably thinks you don't know the data, right? right, so it's a very important to track your own progress track your own performance and Reality is dude a lot of times when you start tracking your performance, you figure out that you ain't that fucking good. You ain't doing shit.

Okay, so it's a good way to audit yourself on your own performance. Yeah. But yeah, dude, the ultimate goal to getting paid more as an entrepreneur is very simply exceed expectations and track what you've done, and then go in there and fucking leverage the shit out of it.

Like if someone comes to me for a raise and it's not, they're not that good, I'm probably not giving them to it. Yeah. Like, cause that's the level of expectation we have bro. Like I will pay more money for great, but I'm not paying more money for what you're supposed to do. We have this problem in society where people think that if they do what they're supposed to do and they do it long enough, that eventually they just get raises.

Maybe that is the way in corporate America where you get a cost of living raise of 1.5%, 2% every year, but I'm talking about career advancement raises. I'm talking 10, 20, 30, $50,000 a year difference, right? We're not talking about two percent for showing up. And I think a lot of people, including possibly this guy, because I don't know, but a lot of people think that performing status quo and doing the job is deserving of a raise. And it's just not. It's not. Okay.

That's what you are paid to do. You are paid to do the job. You are paid to work hard. You are already paid to do these things. And a lot of people act like these things are extra. They'll be like, oh, I'm doing this. Yeah, no shit, bro. You are already paid to do these things and a lot of people act like these things are extra They'll be like, oh I'm doing this. I'm yeah, no shit, bro. That's what the fucking job description says You know what I'm saying? I show up on time. I work hard. Those are not reasons for raise that's what you're supposed to fucking do, okay, and

By the way, I understand that other people may not do that, but you ain't you ain't other people Okay, and regardless of other people do that or not in your company, you're probably still not gonna get the raise for just being at the average level. For just doing the minimum. Yeah, actually, I wanna bring this up too, because they mentioned, you talk a lot about the self-improvement aspect, right?

And it's like, I remember a coach used to tell me, you don't just show up to game day and miss your practices and think you're gonna fucking perform. And when they told this person that, oh, just keep doing what you're doing, there's no, you have no items for improvement. I think that's bullshit, but I mean, why do you look at that?

Like, I mean, I find find a hard time believing people are telling Their employees like I'm gonna tell you this dude here Here's what I think from the the information that was sent to what I was just told which by the way I don't get these questions ahead of time. I Don't read off a teleprompter. I don't fucking have diagrams behind the camera over there that I'm fucking drawing You know right off the other diagram. Like, this is a real answer. I think off the data that you have relayed to me that you work in a company that is not employee focused or career driven in terms of escalating the entrepreneur

slash employee career. A lot of companies will try to hold their top performers by saying shit like this they will say oh you're Doing a good job. Just keep it up and You're obviously wanting more And so what I would do is start to try to find a company that's looking to aggress. I would bet That if I went to that fucking company right now I bet that the ownership is not aggressively growing the company. I bet they are in that fucking coast mode or they don't care enough to actually grow and get aggressive. If you're with an aggressive company, they will pay people who are top

performers over and over and over again to continue to progress and perform. I have guys that started with me at $7 an hour that are now sea level executives doing very very well I have guys who own franchise do very very well Those promises that I made them are kept as long as they keep their promise Which is to continue to get better and better and better and how do you get better as an entrepreneur? One you do everything you can when you're there and two and this is the one People hate you do everything you can when you're not there. Oh, I don't get paid for that. No shit You're getting paid in the future for what you're doing now

Okay, so what you're getting paid for now is what you did in the past So to get more you're going to have to do more outside of the requirements to improve your skill set to become better Which that pay will cap to if you don't continue to get better So if I were you I would just follow what I said I would make a report of all the things you did I would include all the books you read all the things you did on the side to, any programs you went through, any courses or seminars you went to. I include the cost and the investment of all of these things that you're doing to get better with the metrics of how you got better.

And I would say, pay me or I'm fucking leaving. That's what I would do. I love it. But most people can't do that because they don't have the ability to go fucking say that. They can't back it up either. Right. So people love hearing this they're Like yeah, but but but remember if you go in there with garbage you ain't getting anything yeah, and so do we have this situation in

culture and Where people believe that just doing the job and Working hard and showing up is some they get dessert they get paid a premium for that Bro, I don't know if you guys understand what's going on in the world But most people are replaceable right now with a fucking AI bot that will do every single fucking thing that you do. Perfect So if you intend on keeping your job You're going to have to remove this idea of mediocrity

from your brain and really step on the gas. Otherwise, eventually, and remember I said this, you will end up on some sort of subsidized government income that the government pays you to stay the fuck home. And yeah, you get to run around through the fields every day, but you're going to be broke and you're going to be eating fucking shit. Okay, because that's where the world's going. You get to run around through the fields every day, but you're going to be broke and you're going to be eating fuck of shit. Okay? Because that's where the world's going. The world is going to a place where mediocre performers will not be employed and they will

be replaced with technology. And it's, we're not fucking that far away. So I would say we're in it within a year or two of that really happening. And that might be long. That might be a long shot. So if you decide that you really want to build a career and you really want to earn money and you really want to be successful, you better figure out how to be of massive value and you better do it right now.

Otherwise it's going to be too late. You're going to walk into your place of business and they're going to say, all of you guys who are, you know, the bottom half of the company, you're all fired. Yeah, sorry. That's what, that's what's going to do. That is going to happen Yeah, sorry. That's what's gonna, dude, that is gonna happen at mass scale. It's, I've been warning people about this for years, okay?

And we are within a 24 month window of that happening. So, if you even think for a second that you would like to have more money and build a better career and do all these things that represent what the American dream is You better fucking get good right now like and I mean real good. Yeah, I love it man. I love it guys Let's keep this let's keep this move. We got question number two You know we were talking about some some storms and tornadoes and shit before we started recording

And then this question had you know, we, we talk about before a tornado happens, it gets real calm before the fucking storm. So that's why this question's centered around. Guys, any question number two? Andy, I've always admired people who stay calm and focused under pressure. But I tend to panic and second guess myself when things go wrong.

What can I do to develop more grit and keep my composure in stressful situations? Are you a calm before the storm guy? What do you think? Yeah. Yeah. There's no doubt, but I'm not. Well, hold on.

Listen, there's two kinds of people. Okay. There's the people that when shit goes wrong, they panic. Freak the fuck out. And then there's the person when shit goes wrong, they're calm while everybody else panics. Which one do you think I am? Oh, you're the latter.

Yeah. No doubt. When the shit gets real bad, I'm the calmest motherfucker in the room. You know why? Because I know that panicking is not a productive thing. You have to remain focused, and you have to understand that no matter what is going on, no matter what circumstance or what tragedy

or what emergency it is, there is a course of action to get yourself out of that situation and you cannot identify and execute on that course of action when you're in a panic state. So you have to understand that while naturally there are two kinds of people you can become the kind of person that stays calm when bad things happen if you develop confidence in What you know to do when bad things happen. Okay, and how do you do that? Well, there's a saying in tech that says only the paranoid survive Steve Jobs said it Zuckerberg said it fucking all the tech entrepreneurs. It's a Silicon Valley thing.

Only the paranoid survive. Well, what does that mean? What does that mean? What it means is this wherever you are in your life, whether you're an entrepreneur, whether you're an entrepreneur, whether you're just a regular human being, you if you are in your life whether you're an entrepreneur whether you're an entrepreneur whether you're just a regular human being you if you are floating through life and you are not anticipating anything in life and you're just free to go through life when emergencies happen you are not prepared you are shocked you look at you you, well what the fuck's going on?

And you have no contingency of how to move through it in business. The reason only paranoid people survive in business is because they are consistently looking for the landmines that you could potentially step on. And they are always looking to avoid those before they happen. So for me as you know, I'm chairman now I'm not CEO. I'm not an active CEO in any of the companies. I'm a chairman, but still my job is to visionary think of where we can go and then also, and more importantly, think about where the fuck we could then also and more importantly think about where

the fuck we could go wrong and build in fail-safes along the way and because I've been doing that my entire life in business it translates over to my personal life where in my day-to-day life I'm like okay this if this could happen I would do this if that could happen I could do that it's just a framework of thinking Because there's no way for you to develop a contingency all at once for everything for sure But if you're just so crazy if you're just starting today and you're like fuck I need to become more aware and I need to become more calm and I need to like

Understand, you know that when things go wrong, I need to keep myself, you know, level and you try to do that everything today. Yeah, it's going to drive you fucking insane. It's just a framework of thinking that you need to adopt. And if you're a business owner or you're a CEO, I'll give you an extra thought exercise here. What is going to happen when AI takes over? Have you thought about it?

Thought about what you're gonna do have you thought about Where it could be utilized where it shouldn't be utilized and how you're gonna blend the human element and the AI element together Have you have you really thought about it because you should because here's what's gonna happen All your competitors gonna adopt the fuck out of it and they're gonna cut their fucking Their cost and their profit margins are gonna go way up And that means they're gonna have expendable capital to fucking fight you with so Are you even thinking about it? You see what I'm saying? Uh Using chainsaws you're still using that are you are you thinking about?

the dynamics of social media and how people communicate and what's going on in culture and how they talk to each other and all the trends, like are you thinking about those things or are you just letting those things happen and then reacting to them? And this ultimately in the entrepreneurship world dictates what people call visionary entrepreneurs

from everybody else, okay? And what I would call very fucking rich entrepreneurs versus moderately successful entrepreneurs, the moderately successful entrepreneurs, they react. Shit happens. They react. Shit happens. They react. Trends in culture happen. They react. Visionary entrepreneurs are above that and they are looking at it and they are they are pivoting before the thing happens. That way when it happens they're already ready to go. You see what I'm saying? And those people are perceived by everybody else as trendsetters when in

reality they are just looking down the road further than everybody else. Right? One of my gifts and I think you guys will all, you guys here will all agree with that. You guys out there may not, but I'm great at it and I don't give a fuck what you think. Proofs in the pudding. I can fucking see down the road probably as far as anybody else. I can see bumps in the road. I can see corners that other people don't see. I can see pivots that people don't see, and this is why when

you guys listen to CTI and you're like, fuck Andy never misses, well that's because I'm utilizing a skill that I have utilized my entire life to analyze what's going on in the world. And yes sometimes I do miss and sometimes I do miss in business, but because I've been doing it for so long, I'm conditioned to doing it, okay? So one of the reasons that I can stay calm when shit starts to fucking happen is I am used to looking at all the contingencies

in every decision that I make. And I think that all of you would be much more successful if you would just start to do that in your life you know don't be one of the people that reacts be one of the people that anticipates and pivots before the reaction is necessary and it makes you that much more of an effective operator but like dude you know I'm not sure if that's a skill That people are born with quite honestly I think I was gifted with it and I practice it Yeah, but I think regular a regular person who wasn't gifted with that who's off They can learn that by just changing their frame of thought from you know, oh this happened

So now I'm gonna to do this. Right. Uh, you know, it doesn't matter if you put the umbrella up once it starts to rain, like you need to have the umbrella with you before it starts to rain. You get what I'm saying? So we have to always be looking for performance indicators and culture trends and emergencies and shit that could happen. And, you know, believe it or not, I have all that shit in my brain. And you will too if you start to see the world that way.

And so I would encourage you guys, if you want to stay calm during things that are not, you know, easy for people to stay calm in, you have to prepare yourself ahead of time, right? Like, this is going to sound fucked up, what I'm about to say. But like, when you have your first dog, right? And you have this dog, and your dog suddenly dies, okay? And it's fucking horrible. It's one of the worst things ever, especially when you don't have kids when you get another dog

You look at it a little bit differently and you start to think like Okay. Well, eventually my time with this dog is going to end and so you value the time more and you're also more prepared When the time does end you understand so it's not as traumatic as it was the first time. Does that make sense? So, so if you think about that in the, the, the bad things that can happen in business, you know, you, you can kind of be ready to stay calm when things happen. And another way this comes about guys is experience. Okay. When you're like, dude, real talk, my first five, six years in business, I was a

fucking nervous wreck every single fucking day. And, and, and it was because I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I was just like, dude, and we were on the edge of going out of business the first 10 years, literally bro, like for the first 10 years in business i mean dude if i had fucking two thousand dollars in my bank account i was fucking rich no for real dude i'm being serious like if i had fucking like there was a lot of times where i was i had like three hundred dollars you know, and I was just fucking making it work, dude, anything I had to do. And when you're in that position, you are forced to learn very quick and you're forced to deal with stress. You know, the way you get good

at dealing with stress is by being exposed to a lot of stress. You know, it's not running from it. It's not hiding from it. It's being, it's almost like getting into a cold plunge the first time, right? You get in the cold plunge and you're like hyperventilating or freaking the fuck out. But then after a few minutes, you calm the fuck down, right? And someone who's done the cold plunge a hundred times, you understand that that first 30 seconds is gonna be hard and. Yeah. And then it's going to get calm.

But the first time someone does that, you can't explain that to them. So they spend a lot of time, you know, staying in that heightened anxiety, very stress, like reactive state instead of having the experience to anticipate what happens, what is going to happen and how to react. And here's the good thing. You know, for those of you guys who are just starting in business, um, you got to understand that like all these mistakes that you make when you're small, it's really good that you make them when you're small. You can't beat yourself up and say, fuck,

I fucked that up. I suck. No dude. When when you first start You're supposed to fuck everything up and you're supposed to not repeat those mistakes because once you get from you know Let's say you do a hundred grand a year or two hundred grand a year in your very first business You know the internet will tell you you do fucking a hundred million in your first day, but like dude. Let's be real Okay, let's just say you're not doing a lot and you're stressed and you're uncomfortable. Well, you're making mistakes bro and And gaining lessons and those lessons like that that you learn when you're small end up saving you tens of millions of dollars when you Get big so like all the shit you're going through you're gonna be able to recognize that at scale Yeah, so so like the see it again. Yes, and you're like, oh Yeah, I fucking know that here's what I do. That's a dude, right?

Right and what happens now is you know the younger people in the office when something happens They get fucking freaked out and they come to me and I'm like, that's it Yeah, right. Okay, do this this this because I've already seen it before and this is the value of not quitting, right? Just because you suck in the beginning just because you're making mistakes in the beginning Does not mean you're terrible, bro. Everybody does that fuck I made him I think one of the biggest blessings of me is I made so many mistakes early and I'm smart enough to fucking learn from them. And they happened really early in business, which allowed me to be much more successful in short timeframe. So,

you know, we can't look at, I mean, I'm getting off course here, but the point is, is that we can't look at failures and things that we do wrong as a negative, especially when you're small. And even when you're big and you do have a big mistake, you know, maybe it costs you $5 million. Well, when you're in a position where that's gonna cost you 50,

you won't make that mistake. So they're always valuable. And dude, as an entrepreneur, there's no college you can go to and get a truly entrepreneur degree where you can go out and be an effective entrepreneur. It doesn't fucking exist. There's no course you could buy. There's just too much that you're going to learn on the fucking

job. And you have to understand that that's part of the college of entrepreneurship. The college of entrepreneurship, you don't pay tuition to, you pay it in the cost of the mistakes that you make over the course of your life. So when you look at it like that and you say, oh, well, I made a mistake, it cost me $12,000. Well, that's just $12,000 towards the tuition of your entrepreneurship PhD. That was your first semester.

You see what I'm saying? So when you start to look at it differently like that, you don't feel as bad about your mistakes. You're like, oh, well, I just paid fucking to get my PhD again, you know what I'm saying? Payments due, because I fucked up. But ultimately guys, look, to stay calm during times of crisis,

you have to practice staying calm. It's like any other thing. And when stressful things happen, you have to realize that panic doesn't help, preparation helps, knowing what to do in those situations. And that comes from experience or a framework of thinking about these things naturally Because you're responsible for them in your life. And so this is how I naturally think

there's a good chance if we ever meet in person and we sit down and We have dinner or we're sitting around Smoking a cigar, you're gonna see me drift out into fucking space. My eyes will get fucking glassy and I'm not present in the conversation and the reason I'm not present in the conversation is because I'm analyzing fucking a million shit million things all at the same time and usually what I'm analyzing is whatever idea we're talking about like let's say you're sitting with me DJ and you say, Hey,

I have an idea for this and this and this. And then I kind of like, you see me stop listening. What I'm doing usually is I'm playing that idea out over the course of yes. Yes. Yes. So, so it's a very important skill because if you, if you rehearse these things in your head, when they happen, you you know what to do and I don't think enough people do that. I was gonna tell you this too because I feel like this also is a piece of it it's not only do they not do that but they're not confident in their ability to actually execute if that shit happens. Listen dude it's not just that it's

another big part of it is this people expect to go down the path and They expect it to be They what they expect it to be in terms of hard is They misjudged the heart. Okay, it's a thousand times harder than what you think and it takes a thousand times longer and So when I say they perceive it to be easy They perceive it to be hard, but it's actually easy shit. So if you have a real expectation that this is going to be the hardest fucking thing you ever did and bad things are going to happen and this could

happen and that could happen and this could happen, if you say that to someone, they're going to think you're fucking paranoid and you should be Because those things do happen and when they happen what separates a great entrepreneur from an average one or a poor one is The great one has already seen this happen and knows what to do ahead of time I love it man. Well guys we got one more question. We got a third and final question Andy question number three Andy I have your children's books and absolutely love it. My daughter is nine and has started making friendship bracelets. She sells them at school to make money for things that she wants to

have but I refuse to purchase them for her because I don't want her to be spoiled and I want her to have that sense of earning it. Do you have any tips for me to continue to foster this mindset with her as she gets older? I remember you sharing that you sold light bulbs and lemonade and baseball cards. What kept that entrepreneur mindset with you as you grew up? I'm confused on the question. So he's saying he doesn't want to buy what? So he doesn't just want to buy her shit that she wants?

Was it she making them? Yeah, but that's why she's doing it. So she has to- Wait, wait, wait. So he's saying he doesn't want to buy her like toys? Yeah, right, right. He wants her to earn it. Right. Got it.

Not the supplies to make the bracelets. Right. Got it. Look, man, that's an escalation of vision and goals. And your job as a parent that wants to cultivate the entrepreneurial spirit And your daughter is to one surround her by information at the cell which is nine Okay, surround her by entrepreneurial data and information Kids book entrepreneur books like the ones that that I write um, those are a good place to start, but you know, continue to do that.

Like one thing that my dad did for me was he would always like point out businesses. So like we'd be driving down the road and he'd be like, look, there's, you know, uh, ACME tire and the guy that owns that he does this and this is, he's got 50 locations and he lives in this house And he does that and then we would like talk like well, how did he get started? well, he started here and we would kind of like talk through the process and My dad was always really good about

pointing out examples of people who started very small and had become very successful and What that did was that instilled a belief in me that I could do that, too That's not what most parents do no, I know they do the opposite bro They say oh that guy got lucky that they don't even understand what the fuck they're doing They don't understand that when you tell your fucking kid or you come home because you're in a bad mood for your job and you Motherfuck your boss you are fucking that kid's psychology up for their whole entire life Okay, I don't care if you got your ass chewed out by the boss at work and you're mad at him today You shouldn't go home and say that in front of your fucking kids because your kids are then gonna adopt a mentality that you know

Oh, man, everybody who's rich is an asshole. Then they're not gonna even pursue the idea and they're gonna spend their whole life fucking watching cartoons and living off your fucking shit and never actually developing. So as a parent, now I don't have kids, but I've raised a lot of other people's kids. And the one thing that I have always been made sure

that they understand is that they are very capable to do anything if they're willing to pay the price to do it. And that was something that I was taught and I don't say lucky very often, but I got real lucky. I was taught that as a kid. And so if you want to teach your daughter that I would recommend letting her see it, touch it, make it real. This could mean like what's she into?

What does she like? Does she like cars? I liked cars. So you know what we did? We would go to the car dealerships and see the cars. All right, and it wasn't like, you know, like we would just go look at them. Super important.

Yeah, like you have, oh, you wanna live in a big house? Let's go look at some houses. You know, to live in that house, you gotta earn this much money. How you gonna earn that much money, right? So, yeah, well that's what I'm saying. So, but dude, so you ask what, you ask how it worked for me.

Well, how it worked for me was, I was exposed to all these things, and that drove my entrepreneurial curiosity about how could I put myself in a position to live that life and you know dude I mean through my high school career dude I tried all kinds of different ways to make money most of them failed you know and we don't talk about that enough. Everybody thinks that, you know, starting the supplement business was the first thing I ever did.

No, dude, I did a whole bunch of other shit, didn't work. So, you know, continuous exposure, the right information, making it real, encouragement in the fact that she can do it just like other people have done it and showing her examples, and then showing her the result and making her comprehend like you know hey now you're selling 15 friendship bracelets for a dollar each that's $15 now that house is it's a million dollars right so how many friendship bracelets do you

have to sell to get to that well I got to sell a million well how are you gonna sell a million how do you do can you have to sell to get to that? Well, I got to sell a million. Well, how are you gonna sell a million? How do you do can you sell a million to people directly? Well, no, so how will we do that? And then you know play a little game of you know, how would we scale the business on paper? You know what I'm saying? Sometimes those turn into real businesses. There's time. There's kids, you know outs the outliers You know people will talk about the the youtuber kids that make millions of dollars But like dude There's plenty of kids that came up with really good ideas as very young kids because kids are not bound by the restraints of Society yet. They're very creative and there's a lot of kids

You know 10 11 12 years old came up with an amazing idea and turn it into a multi-million dollar company. So You know, it's just the environment, bro. It's exposure. It's connecting the dots for them. It's making them understand it. It's making them listen to productive information, read productive information, you know, and helping them create that entrepreneurial curiosity that eventually leads to a breakthrough. Yeah. And something will, the math will work on something. You know what I mean? And entrepreneurial curiosity that eventually leads to a Breakthrough yeah, and something will the math will work on something, you know what I mean? And what's your percent and then and then it works out Do you think that no now I know we talked about a lot of this on the CTI episodes But not to get too deep in it

But I mean, do you think that's what we need right now is we need to be fostering more young? Yeah, of course of course Look, man America is the greatest country in the world But we missed a generation and a half of people telling them the truth. Okay, a lot of people for 15 years were told Everybody gets a trophy You know, it doesn't matter as long as you try hard. No, it does fucking matter Are you producing results or are you just trying hard?

It does matter if you finish first or 18th. Those things matter in real life. So we have been in a number of other things, but we have been, our children and generations have been lied to by idealistic, you know, at minimum idealistic teachers at maximum intentionally handicapped, which is what I believe, to fuck up society over here. So yes, it's extremely important.

I think it's the most important thing we can do. And I think that ties right into that personal excellence, the ultimate rebellion, because dude, your kids are fucking watching you, bro. They are paying attention to you they will become exactly who the fuck you are you don't understand that yet i am for better or worse pretty much a carbon copy of my fucking dad okay real talk all right your kids will become who the fuck you are and however you want these kids to fucking be you better be it right now And that's just the truth

so if you teach them all the shit that you were taught and you look at where you are in life and You realize that you weren't taught the right shit You have an opportunity to break that cycle by improving yourself by living at a higher standard By getting your shit together and showing them what the fuck it actually takes to win so Yeah to answer your question I think it's the fucking most important thing Which is why I work so hard to try and get through to the young people and why I'm coming back to the MSCEO

project because we have to fix how we think and act and behave as citizens and not just citizens of here but citizens of the earth. Like, everything comes from us, man. Everything comes from the example that we set. And if we're not setting the right example, then your kids are going to be just like you, dude. Like, whether you set the right example or not, if you set the wrong example, they're going to end up be just like you dude, like whether you set the right example or not if you set the wrong example They're gonna end up just fucking like you they're gonna think like you they're gonna talk like you They're gonna have the same biases as you and if you don't like those things about yourself You're gonna have to use some discipline to become something different so that they become something different and dude, it's a parent's responsibility to put their I think the definition of a great parent is a parent who puts

their children intellectually in a position to do much better than they did. And a lot of parents don't do that. A lot of parents let their ego and their own failures and their own ways of thinking cloud the reality that they are a pretty shitty example for their kids. And they say, well, that's just what we are. And then they tell their kids that.

And then they're disappointed when their kids turn out to be shit bums. Okay. So we have to have honest conversations about what we are, what example are we setting, what do I not like about my situation, and what do I wish was different, and how do I change it so that they will not be like me? And that's a hard thing, dude. That doesn't feel good. That doesn't feel good to say,

man, I fucked up my shit, but dude, your ultimate legacy on this earth is gonna be what those fucking kids do so you you haven't even failed yet bro you could totally change everything just by taking some responsibility for yourself in the example that you set and so when you ask me is that important there's nothing more important i love it man i love it well guys Andy, that's a hell of a way to start a Monday. Yeah. All right guys We'll see you tomorrow Don't be a hoe