REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 875. Q&AF: Making Moves Without Pressure, Handling No Man’s Land & Cutting Distractions

Episode Date: May 5, 2025

In today’s episode, Andy answers live call-in questions on how to take big action even when life feels calm, how to handle the “No Man’s Land” phase where you’re not chasing new friendships but still want progress, and how to eliminate distractions so you can stay focused on your biggest goals.

What is up guys? It's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakes and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q&AF. Realist say goodbye to the lies the thickness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today We have Q and AF that's where you submit the questions or call in and we give you the answers now You can submit your questions a few different ways The first way is guys email these questions into ask Andy and any for sale it I come or you go on YouTube in the the comment section type your question right in there or you go down there under

the YouTube video click the link and you can Apply to call in live on the show. All right, pretty cool. We like it. Mm-hmm All right. So if you're new which a lot of you guys are every week We have shows within the show tomorrow, we're gonna have CTI, that's cruise the internet. So we talk about what's going on in the world, we speculate on what's true, speculate on what's not true. And then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world.

Other times we're gonna have real talk, we got more of those coming. We're gonna get serious now, we're gonna start staying on track. We can't have a podcast without being professional about it, because we're professional podcasters track. You know, we can't have a podcast without being professional about it because we're professional podcasters. So we got real talk.

And then we have 75 Hard Verses. 75 Hard Verses is where someone who's completed the 75 Hard program comes on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they use the 75 Hard program to get their shit together, all right? If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard,

it is the beginning phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever. And it's available for free at episode 208 on the audio feed only. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed only. It's not on YouTube because we were on audio for basically seven years before we ever

jumped onto YouTube. So most of our listeners are on audio and we don't have it on YouTube. So that's what's up. What else? What am I missing here? There's a fee. There is a fee.

Yeah, the fee is very simple. Oh, there's a book you can buy called The Book on Mental Toughness at Andy for sell.com. It is the entire live hard program plus a whole bunch of other chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how to use it in your life. And then we have a, what were you saying we had? I'm tired, bro. The fee is very simple. We don't run ads on the show. I don't take money from other companies to tell me what I can and can't say And uh very simply we need you to help us grow the show All right, man, uh, I know a lot of you we have a massive massive massive audience on audio and we're getting there on youtube

But uh guys, please do us a favor and uh, help us grow the show. All right, don't be a hoe All right. So what's up, man morning Monday morning Monday morning getting to the Warriors man yeah mm-hmm what movies I found Warriors oh yeah I never seen that one I've never seen it I'm not surprised you haven't seen it is Is it good? What is it? Is that a basketball movie? Futuristic gangsters. Man, what are you, I don't know if I like those, those like sci-fi future gangster movies. Did you guys see that movie that's out now with a-

Brokeback Mountain? Oh yeah. I saw you were in it. The sequel. Yeah. Just broke. Yeah. Oh broke. Yeah. Oh shit man.

What's that movie out right now with Tom Hardy? It's on fucking Netflix. Oh, no it's not my. Anyway, I don't know the name of it. But I like Tom Hardy. Yeah, I do too, but the movie sucks. Did it? Yeah, it's fucking terrible.

It's like just this, it's just, I don't know. Whatever man. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Yeah, it's fucking terrible. It's like just this it's just I don't know whatever man Anyway, yeah, that's neither here nor there. Yeah, we got warriors lined up We got warriors lined up to call into the show today. So let's let's get started man Yeah, well, let's get started with won't be a phone call though. We got right in There's another warrior though. You got a new listener. Oh really a new new listener. Are they happy or are they angry? No, they're happy. Yeah, let's get some of these angry people to call in. Let's get the angry people to call in on CTI.

I did have a Batman. Somebody Batman reached out. Batman? Yeah, filled out a thing. What'd he send the fucking Bat signal to you? No, I mean literally what he was talking about. He's on the list. What'd he say?

Yeah, something about Gotham needs saving or some shit. Okay, so he's a weirdo. Yeah, for sure. Got it, all right, Batman. Yeah, we about Gotham needs saving or some shit. Okay, so he's a weirdo. Yeah, for sure. Got it, all right, Batman. Yeah, we get him every now and then. Be careful what you say about Batman. Why? Fuck you up, it's Batman.

Batman can't fight. What are you talking about, bro? Batman's the ultimate fighter, he's not even a superhero. He doesn't even have special powers, he just kicks people's asses. He trained in the fucking fucking at the top of a mountain peak with like Tibetan monks that know all the secret sauce yeah and he became badass bro I'm gonna be Batman one day you guys won't know it though

could be Batman let me so like is that? Wait, you said this years ago. No, well no one gives me credit for the things I say anyway, so what the fuck doesn't matter? Everybody just acts like I didn't say it. Like I fucking say all this shit and wait years in front of all these influencers, and then somehow they get the credit for saying it. Yeah, it happens.

Joe and I were talking last night that maybe they get the credit for saying it because they don't curse the way I curse. Oh, is it the cursing? I don't know, but like all these people that they're talking about, I said this shit years ago. Yeah, and they say it just without cursing. Yeah, see, that's why people gotta,

you guys gotta have our backs, bro. Like you need to straighten these people out and be like, bro, these boys have been saying this way before you. With cursing. Yeah, with colorful language. Colorful language. You always make some. Color and everything else. That's right, and a diverse crew. Yeah, with colorful language. Colorful language. You always make some.

Color and everything else. That's right, and a diverse crew. Yeah, that's it. All right, well let's make some people better today. All right, let's do it. I got some good ones for you, man. Let's knock them out. We got question number one.

Hey Andy, I'm a new listener to your content and I literally can't get enough. I came across your content on TikTok, and you are the real deal. Here's my question. Every breakthrough I've ever had came right after I hit rock bottom. After the breakup, the layoff, the health scare,

I don't understand why it takes me falling apart to finally take action. Why can't I make moves when things are calm? How do I learn to grow from clarity instead of collapse? Okay, first of all, this is a great question because many, many, many people struggle with this. They think that when things are going good, that they've caught some sort of like vibe

or you know, they've caught some good energy and things are just going good. And yeah, that does happen automatically sometimes through your life. But very high achieving successful people, they don't allow themselves to fade back to the crumbles. You know what I'm saying? So usually what's happening here is that if you look backwards and you see where you are today and you look back for the 30, 60, 90 days before you are in a good spot, you will see that you are behaving in a way that produced this good spot in some way, shape or form. Okay. You might not have been doing everything right,

but you were doing something right. Um, and it led to a position where things felt like they were going well for you. And that might be the previous 90 days. That might be the previous year. It depends on how high or how low you are. But what happens is, is that when things start to curve up and we start to get to, you know, where things are good and we start looking around and we're like, man, everything's going good. You know, the actions that we take are not the same as the actions that we take to dig ourselves out of the shit. All right. So what we have to realize and

what this person needs to realize is that you are the result of your own decisions and your own actions, even when you aren't conscious of the actions that you're taking. And so what we need to develop here is a level of awareness to where when you feel like things are going well, you should automatically start to do more of the things that got you to that point. That's the opposite of what most people do. Most people get in a position where they're making money, things are going well, you know, maybe they're at the top of their fitness game and then they're like, oh, everything's good and they stop doing the things that got them there and they start to drift down. In success in business, in your career,

even as an entrepreneur or an entrepreneur, what happens is, when you're at the bottom, bro, you're like, fuck, my life sucks, I'm not making any money, my relationships are terrible, I'm not happy, I'm depressed, I gotta do something different to get myself out of this. And so you'll start to take an active role in your life that starts to produce an incremental increase towards the way that you're trying to go. But when you're at the top or the perceived top, like, oh, things are great. I'm making what I want to make. People let off the gas

and they don't continue to do the things that moved them out of the place. When in reality, when you do find yourself when things are well, that's where you really need to audit yourself because our natural reaction as humans is to get comfortable and to be like, oh, everything's good, things are going well. And when you don't have the awareness to understand that you're in control of your own momentum by creating it yourself, it feels like, oh, the universe or, you know, the mystical powers that be are somehow punishing me or, you know, there's a there's we start to like throw the responsibility off to other things. And so what we need to happen here for this person is, we need to understand that we are in control

and whatever life we are living now is a result of our actions in the past. Okay, so we see this a lot in business owners where things start to get well and they start to think, fuck, I'm so successful. Everything I touch is gonna be great. It doesn't matter if I show up anymore. It doesn't matter if I'm earlier, if I stay late. It doesn't matter if I show up anymore doesn't matter if I'm earlier if I stay late it doesn't matter if I do these meetings it

doesn't matter in fitness if I eat well because I'm already in shape I can have a couple days off I can go on a vacation and then what happens is you start to go back down okay and this is totally within your control this is with in every single one of you guys are in control of this process. And so when you find yourself when things are going good, that's the time to really audit what you're actually doing. Because when things are good, we don't have that desperation or that urgency to do the things that dug us out of the low place. And so what happens is people tend to go up and then they go down

and then they go up and then they go down and then they go up and then they go down and they live their whole life like that. Truly successful people do not change the ownership or the actions or the urgency depending on how they feel that day. They execute no matter what. When things are good, they come with the same urgency as when things were shitty and they had to get themselves out of it. And so what that creates is a curve that instead of cresting and going back down, it just continues to go up. All right. And this is what successful people do. And it just really takes some awareness and some understanding that we are in control of our

momentum. If you are in a terrible place right now, if your life sucks right now, and you're waiting around for things to get better, that's not what you should be doing. That's not how it works. You need to take action. You need to control what you could control, which is your food, what you put in your mind, how you move your body, how much water you drink, who you associate with. what you put in your mind, how you move your body, how much water you drink, who you associate with, the things that are in your control, you need to execute on those in a positive manner, just like this program that somebody developed

that I might've heard of called 75 Hard, and then continue to do that even when things get good. And that's the key to avoiding these ups and downs. You have to continue to get better, you have to continue to come with urgency, You have to continue to control what it is that you can control and you will avoid the dips. Now, will you still have a little bit of a dip sometimes? Yeah, because there's always things that we're dealing with that aren't in our control. But the reality is, is that, you know, I think off my experience, you know, 80 to 90% of the result that we

have in our lives is in our control. Okay. We can be fit no matter what you're saying. There's very little that's outside of correct. And most people think that everything's outside of their control. And so it's a matter of awareness and ownership. Okay. Because if you are controlling the things that you control, can be intelligent you can be fit you can be productive

You can get shit done. You can be around the right people you can avoid negativity You can avoid things that that damage your progress like maybe alcohol or whatever your vices might be we are in control of those things And so the ultimate power that someone has to really Cultivate and harness is the power of discipline so that they can adhere when things are not convenient, but also adhere when things are really good. And nobody talks about that because they think of it as a journey.

Like once I get there, everything will be good. No, they won't because you're gonna stop doing everything that you do and you're gonna fall back on your face, which is exactly what this person is describing. Is there a silver lining here that this person can look at in the sense of like, you know, having to dig yourself out the hole? Well, you know, you got grit, you got some, you know what I'm saying?

You can dig your shit. Listen, man, everybody has problems. Everybody gets low, everybody gets their ass beat. It's called fucking life. All right. And you have to understand that when you get punched in the fucking face and you're at the bottom, it's probably because you're not controlling what it is you could have been

controlling the whole entire time. If you're honest with yourself and you audit yourself and you tell yourself exactly the way it is, you're a realist about it. You will see that the things that got you to the high point you are no longer doing, all right? And so you have to do them. And people get really humble when things are bad, and they get really full of their ego when things are good. So when they're humble, they're looking around, they're saying, oh, shit, fuck, what do I do? I don't know what to do. Shit, this worked for me two years ago, so I'm going to do this again, which is the natural human response. Okay. But then when they get to

the top, because we're stupid fucking humans, we don't realize that we have to continue to do these things that got us going in the right direction in the first place. So we're always going to face hardship. We're always going to have things not go our way. But the truth of the matter is, is that you can minimize the dips and keep the progress going by just understanding that we are in control and, and it's not up to, you know, the outside circumstances or the conditions or things that might happen. Bro, things happen. Okay. You're going to lose a job. You're going to lose a partner. People are going to die. You're going to get sick. Your're gonna lose a partner. People are gonna die. You're gonna get sick. Your dog's gonna pass. These are things... this is called fucking life, man.

It's not the end of your world and it's not your identity. So as long as you can maintain the things that you are in control of, you will be able to take those hits and continue to move forward. Now, might you flatten out when you go through a hard time? You get sick or you know, your family gets sick or you deal with something serious? Yeah, you might flatten out when you go through a hard time, you get sick or, you know, your family gets sick or you deal with something serious. Yeah, you might flatten out, but if you continue to control the things by developing discipline and developing the ability to adhere to a program, which is exactly what Live Hard and 75 Hard teach you, you will be able to avoid these big crashes that seem devastating.

You see what I'm saying? Absolutely, man. Absolutely. I love it. I love it, man. It's a, it's a, listen, it's just an awareness that we are in control of our outcomes because the things we are in control of produce the majority of our outcomes. So it's very simple. If you think about it like that, most

people don't want to take responsibility because it's easier to say this happened or that happened or it's not fair. It's this or that or this, bro. You guys are all full of shit. You're not fucking doing it. If I went to anybody, any

motherfucker on the planet and they said, oh, it's not fair. My life sucks. This, that. And I audited their last six months. I fucking promise you they have not been in control of things they can control. That's reality. And anybody who says different is full of fucking shit. That is, that is a complete fucking lie. I'm not talking about extreme circumstances. There's always nuance. There's always things. Your whole

family gets killed in a car crash. Okay. That's fucking, that's a nuance thing. That's an asterisk, right? But what I'm saying is, is that in most cases, that's true. You're not doing what the fuck you could be, so you have no right to complain about it. Well, that's so real. To your point though, it's also crazy, like that reflection only comes when you're down low, man.

Yeah. It only comes when you're low. That's because when you're at high, you think you're the shit. If you're honest with yourself, it's when you're down low man. Yeah. It only comes when you're low. That's cause when you're at high you think you're the shit. If you're honest with yourself, it's when you're like, I got fired, well why'd you backpedal it? Let's go back a little bit. Yeah. You wasn't doing your shit.

That's right dude. That's right and you thought nobody was noticing and you thought that you could skate by and this and that because you were at one time really good. You know, that happens all the time bro. Listen, I cannot tell you how many times I've seen that happen in business, where the best performing employee,

the best performing business operator thought that because they were great at one time, that they had unlimited greatness in front of them. And they stopped sharpening their blade. They stopped improving. They stopped controlling and doing the things they can do. And then, then they're surprised when their business goes out of business or they fucking lose their job, bro. No one gives a fuck what you did yesterday. I hate to break this to you. I really do. The world doesn't care what you did, it only cares what you're doing now. And you don't fucking have to be a rocket science to understand that.

It's just reality. The world does not give a fuck what you did, even if it was yesterday. They care what you're doing now. What result are you producing today? Okay, and that is, that's reality. That's reality, that's how the world judges people. Is it right? I don't know, but that's how it is. I love it, man. I fucking love it. Well, let's get to our first call, guys.

We got a first call in here. This is O'Neal. O'Neal speaking. O'Neal speaking. O'Neal, what's the word, my man? Oh Neil what's the word my man? Hey man, I was waiting here called nervous me. Oh, it's nervous for me. What's up? And he's an honor and a privilege to speak to you bro, it's it's all good man. What can we help you with brother? Well, I've been listening to you consistently for 10 years. I'm a huge fan. I love to share with everybody I know.

Everybody in my bloodline knows about you. O'Neil ain't no ho. I love that, bro. I love that, man. Thank you so much. Oh, thank you for all you do. So real quick, my question is, so I have a commercial cleaning business and we're growing substantially.

All right. We started in COVID, really ballsy move, very risky, but we went in, balls deep, we went in. And we've been, we've been really good at it. That's the only way to go in, isn't it? You're 100% right on that one. It's unique because not everybody can do that. You know what I'm saying?

Like you, DJ. All right. So what we got, man? So, yeah, so I was doing I'm doing my cleaning business, you know, fast forward three years in. I moved the majority of my accounts, you know, COVID slows down, nobody wants cleaning, et cetera, et cetera. So I'm here in the end of my rope. And I, like you say, zero options mentality, double down.

I say I'm not gonna quit. My income has doubled consistently for the last three years, which was great for where I started off at. But in the process, I let go of my previous friend group. You had an episode about this recently regarding loyalty to friend groups, and I took that to the heart. I slowly started to distance myself from my friend group, and I literally have no friends. I'm afraid to lose the momentum that I have currently in order to seek friendship

What's your advice on that? Okay Well, first of all, this is completely normal dude. Every single person who's ever built anything relevant Goes through this. Okay, we start out at the beginning with our friend group. How old are you bro? I'm 31. Where am I? DJ and I are around the same age. Yeah, you're older than DJ.

You're probably DJ's dad. Okay. I think we might have the same back. No, no, no, no. I'm not. Yeah. So, so check this out, dude. This is exactly the process of, it's totally normal. It's, first of all, there's, I just want you to know, this is exactly the process of it's totally normal.

It's first of all, there's, I just want you to know, this is normal, I've been through it and you're gonna go through it multiple times on your journey, okay? So here's how it happens. You start out, you have a group of friends and that group of friends is based around, usually, you know, you just know them.

They grew up in the neighborhood or you went to college or maybe you went to high school Or whatever man, and usually it's just social friends. It's like you drink together. You smoke together. You hang out together you do fun shit together and when you start to Get ambition and you want more for yourself when you first say it all these guys like oh, yeah, man that's awesome and some will say well do where you sure are you are you sure you want to do that and it creates this weird dynamic because you're doing something that all of them aren't doing and so what happens is when you start to go down the path the nature of business is so difficult it takes so much time that

people just don't understand it if they've never done it. So then they start to get negative and they start to say, well, don't forget where you came from. And hey, you know, I think O'Neill, you know, you're getting a little too big for your britches and they say stupid ass shit. And it becomes, it becomes a drag. Okay. And then us as entrepreneurs, we get blamed for it because we're trying to better our lives and we have to remove ourselves from this negativity because we only have so much energy.

And what happens is, our old friend group, while we still might love them and we still might care about them and we might always be cool with them. Like I am so cool with everybody that I've ever had as a friend in the past, but we might not talk every day. We might not go to dinner. We might not hang out. I still love them, but I don't have the time or the energy or the will to waste my time because I have big vision, big goals. And that naturally creates this place of isolation and what I call

no man's land. And so there's good news here. The good news is that it's temporary. Okay. So what's going to happen is the more success that you have with your company, you're going to start to meet some of these business owners who, you know, you're doing these cleaning services for, and you're going to have more in common. All right.

These guys are hustling. common. All right. These guys are hustling. These guys are working. These guys have big goals and your new friend group. And by the way, this takes time. This doesn't happen in one day. Okay. This could be a year. This could be two years. It depends on how hard you're pressing to move forward, but you'll find a new grant, a new friend group that has commonality, shared interests, and understanding of what you're doing. Because think about this, if you go back and you know, all your friends are talking about what's going on with the sports game, they don't have anything, you don't have anything to talk about with them

anymore. So we just kind of grow apart and dude, that's part of life. But you end up with this new friend group who has all these things in common with you. And by the way, because they're on the same mission as you, they don't drag you back, bro. They will actually encourage you. They will teach you things that will connect you. They will push you forward. And it becomes a much more valuable and fulfilling experience to be around friends who share the same goals and missions. And the cool thing about these friends is, you know, there's a saying that I like to use is busy people understand busy people. So, you know, they're not getting mad if you don't show up to the dinner and they're not getting mad if you don't text them back. And they're not saying, oh, you know, O'Neal, you're getting too full of yourself, dude. You need to humble yourself.

They know that like when we hang, we hang. And if, you know, we text each other and we don't hear back for a couple of days, it's no big deal. And by the way, I'm going to stop right here and remind all of you guys that if you are a young entrepreneur and you text someone and they don't text you back and then you you hit them with Oh, I thought we were still bro Nobody that's successful deals with that shit. That is peasant behavior Okay

If someone texts me and then I don't text them back and then they hit me with oh dude What if like some kind of guilt trip? I will never talk to them again. They're not my kind of people So if you're a young guy or young girl, remember that do not fucking do that to the people ahead of you. They will fucking cut you right out. But anyway, when you find this new friend group, they're going to push you forward. They're not going to drag you back. And if you continue to go down the path and you continue to grow, you're going to go through the same process again.

All right. Because you're going to outgrow that friend group and then you're going to go back to being in the middle where you feel like you don't really have any friends. And then you're going to find another leveled up friend group who can now associate with you more. So I've done this number of times through my life where the different stages of business, I had a different circle of friends and that's just the way it goes, bro. So you have to understand, dude, this is normal. It has nothing to do with you. It's called life.

And as we grow, we are going to naturally disconnect with people who don't grow and connect with people who are growing. And bro, let me tell you something. They'll help you deal with this. It's not like they couldn't have went with you. They could have went with you. Okay. So I know that if you listen to my show, I already know that you're probably a really good dude and you probably care a lot and it probably makes you feel guilty and feel bad that you're moving on from this friend

group. But just remember they could have went with you. They could have went down that path and they chose not to and you have no obligation and you should not feel guilty about taking care of yourself, your family, your future family if you don't have one and handling business. Period. So what do you think bro? That's exactly what I needed to hear because my my fiance was telling me this for years.

She's like, distance yourself from this friend group. They're holding you back. They're holding you back. And you know, me being a loyal guy, I'm like, no, these are my boys. We have friends since for 14, 15. No, these are my boys and what they care about me. And she told me, once you let this grow, you will get everything you want in business. Dude, exactly what she said. That's a smart woman. You will get everything you want in business. Dude. That's exactly what she said. That's a smart woman.

As soon as I distance myself, as soon as I distance myself, it's like I was trying to swim with an anchor on my feet. As soon as I distance myself, it's like I was on a speedboat. That's right bro. That she's a very smart woman. It's a good thing you, probably a good thing that you're marrying her. Yeah. Look bro, let me tell you something. You're probably probably a good thing that you're marrying her. Yeah, look, bro.

Let me tell you something. Okay, as men, we all handle and feel strongly about being loyal. That's part of being a good man is you're loyal to your friends. You're loyal to your family. But remember, dude, they need to be loyal to you too. And they couldn't win or at least they could have supported you I'm friends with a number of people back from the old days who are just very supportive maybe they didn't go down the path, but they supported and pushed you and

Here's how you could tell they're not your fucking friends, dude When they start trying to gaslight you and guilt you because you're no longer loyal and you're no longer You know one of the dudes and you forgot where you came from. The motherfuckers ain't your friends, dude. Those dudes will hold you back. They will ruin your life. They will fuck up success. And let me tell you the number one thing that ruins, especially men's business, uh, aspirations. It's our feeling that we all naturally have of loyalty. It's the code, right?

Like we all live by, we all know the code, right? Hey, these are my boys, like he's saying, these are my boys, I'm loyal to them. Listen, you could still be loyal to them and be moving. You could still show up at 3 a.m. if we got to bury a body, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like, but dude, don't let them leverage

that against you because the number one thing that I've seen really hurt young men, especially because I think men and women are a little different in this way. I don't think women operate on that same code exactly the same way that we do. We sort of define our, our manhood by like how real we are and how loyal we are and so that's like always a touch point of sensitivity for men and and Dude, I haven't seen more people ruin their business because they're loyal to the wrong people that either get him in trouble or or pull Them down or get him involved in some shit like bro. We think about this

we see this in sports all the time We see young men come out of college and still hang with their old dudes when they've got $50 million in the bank. Next thing we know, they're out of the league and they're in jail. So, dude, you got to let it go, man. It's just reality. And, and you're, you're, you're a fiance is a hundred percent correct. So, actually listen to her earlier. I wanna say is 100% correct. So. Yeah, I should've listened to her earlier. That's all right, man.

Listen, dude, sometimes it takes, you know, it's like, you know, when you listen to your parents versus listening to your, like, your uncle, right? Like, you'll listen to your uncle, but. Same shit. Yeah, that's right. Same shit. So.

Hey, real quick, I just saw, I just looked you up on IG, bro. We could be fucking related, bro. Just a little bit. Let's see. Like, bro, just a little bit. Let's see. Real talk, I just looked you up on IG, bro. We could be fucking related, bro. Just a little bit. Like, bro, just a little bit. Let's see. Real talk. Andy, take a look. I think you might be related.

Oh, shit! Dude, like, listen, we could. You do gotta look alive. You sure your father's not Dominican? No, look, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not Dominican.

I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure. Well, Neo bro, I hope that helps you, man. Oh yeah. You helped tremendously. I got listened every single day and I do appreciate taking the time. Your company is great. Thank you. Also your PB and J first home bar is fucking amazing. Thank you, bro. I gained like 10 pounds because of it.

Thank you, dude. We were blessed to have really good people that work here. I'm it's it's I'm living the dream here with these guys. So they work really hard to do everything you know that we can do for people and it's really good to hear that. I appreciate it. I have a great leader to guide them the same way. The right way. Well, thank you, bro.

Do my best. Andy, thank you so much for your time. I appreciate you. DJ, thanks. I'll see you at the family reunion. All right. Oh, Neal, thank you, brother. We'll talk to you soon.

All right, take care, guys. All right, see ya. That's guys. All right. See you. That's awesome. Yeah, that's cool. Look dude, that's a hard thing, man. That's a hard thing because you know, you know how it is to. It's touching for us, bro. Exactly. You know, I will say this is a rare thing that's actually happened to me recently. Like one of my friend groups I got because I don't have many friends, right? But you know.

I'm your friend. Well, you're my friend. Yeah, for sure. Madad's your friend. Huh? No, Madad, yeah, for sure. Madad's your friend. Huh? No, Madad's not my friend. Zeeshan's your friend again. Zeeshan's my homie. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

No, but I had a similar situation where it's like, dude, we're just on different paths, but it was almost like what was understood didn't need to be explained. It wasn't this big, like, oh, yeah, call me back. Bro, we just kinda, you know? Yeah. And we both just kinda like, we nod to it. You know what I'm saying? I understand. Yeah, it, we just kind of, you know, yeah. And we both just kind of like we thought we nod to it.

You know what I'm saying? I understand. Yeah, it is what it is, man. It's cool. Listen, dude, this is something that you. OK. When you're young, a lot of guys can relate to this with their families. Right. Like when you're young and you got all these dude friends and shit. And then they have they get a wife and they start to have kids and they don't have the time to hang out and you grow a little apart, but that doesn't mean like dude I just reconnected with a buddy of mine who I hadn't seen Matt Markway

Okay, who runs a really fucking awesome business here in st. Louis They build super high in homes and I had him build my duck coop Which that's not something that they do but he did it because we're friends. We hadn't talked to each other in like 20 years, bro. And we saw each other and it was just like, it was yesterday. But that's because he's been living his life, bro. He's been doing and I've been doing my shit. And now that we've done our shit, you know, we're still doing it.

But now that we've gotten through the, you know, the part of like building, you know, we're able to hang out, dude. And it's just the way it is, man. It's one of the greatest things that happened to me this last year is reconnecting with him, dude. And see that they did go down the path. Yeah. Just different. But, dude, it's not even that. It's just like his kid, like he's got a son who's a stud playing football in Nebraska, Mack Markway. Like, bro, dude, it's just life, man. You know, I didn't see him and I'm like, hey, why didn't you fucking talk to me for the last 20 years?

What the fuck? Yeah, what was that about? You're not even real. You don't fucking care about me. Like, dude. Give me your best friend card. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

So it's just called life, man. And it's hard, especially as an entrepreneur, because there's jealousy feelings and there's, you know, you. And it's hard, especially as an entrepreneur, because there's jealousy feelings and you start making a little more money, you start driving a little nicer car, you start dealing with a little bit of jealousy from the people, sometimes a lot. Comes in.

And then dude, sometimes those people from the old days will start talking shit and start trying to sabotage you. And dude, you gotta get away from them. You know what I'm saying? One of the best things that entrepreneurs can honestly is like move the fuck away from their city. You know what I'm saying? I moved away for eight years and I was able to focus

and I don't think I would have been able to do that if I stayed here. So yeah. That's real, man. That's real. Love it, man. Let's keep moving. Let's, I got another question for you. Next question, we got real. That's real. Love it man, let's keep moving. Let's get another question for you.

Next question, we got a write in question. This question is, question number three. Hi Andy, my name is Cody and I am 25 years old and I started a residential window installation business four years ago now. I've heard you say- 24? 25.

25? Start up when it's 21. Cool. Yeah. I've heard you say it's good to find a mentor who has gone through the path I wish to go. As my business continued to grow, I now work very close with my mentor

and our businesses continue to grow at a rate I didn't really see possible. How is it that we can continue to navigate through the storm when both my mentor and I are at stages in the game that we've never seen, or never been? We recently got a warehouse and neither of us know anything about running a warehouse.

Our spectrum of the game has changed and now we take on much different tasks than before. In that specific case, would I just find some sort of warehouse manager like do I figure it out on my own? Do I reach out to competition? Please help and thanks for your time. Well first of all bro, different journeys require different guides, okay? You're not going to learn from somebody who has never done the thing that you're wanting to do. This is why I talk about buying courses and hiring these internet people to teach you how to build a company when they've never built one. They don't know. They

might say they know, but they don't. They know how to make a funnel and why and pretend there's something and then get you to buy it. And it doesn't get you any value. So again, like I say often, make sure that you vet whoever it is that they have actually done the things that you want to do. And in the beginning, you will find people who have done part of it and you can learn from those people, absolutely.

And by the way, there's nothing wrong with paying for that. Absolutely. And by the way, there's nothing wrong with paying for that. There it's a if I could pay to save fucking 10 years of my life, I'm fucking paying whatever it costs. That's 10 years. You know what I'm saying? So when you get to a point where maybe that first mentor you've exhausted, which is by the way, that's awesome. That's what you want to do. Right. But now it sounds like you both need a new guide for the journey Okay, and so you have to find someone who has done these things before And you know could coach you through the process. That's just part of

understanding that there's levels to it and You know the guy that you might be learning from the beginning and sometimes bro The guy that you might be learning from the beginning is and sometimes, bro, the guy that you might be learning from the beginning is so far away from where the fuck you are that he has a hard time getting back to that because he's forgotten those things or they're so second nature

that he forgets that they're relevant. You see what I'm saying? So- What's that saying? It's like you've got more than you know, as it go? Well, I mean, dude. You know more than you forget or something? No, no, no, you're talking about,

like I've forgotten more than you'll ever know. Right, right. Yeah, I mean like, that does happen. Like you're not gonna have Elon Musk come back and teach you how to fucking make a funnel. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? So there's that, all right?

But here's the other thing, dude. So my first thing is that it's smart to use a mentor, it's smart to invest in your education, you just gotta make sure that the person that you're learning from has done the thing that you wanna do. A lot of people say that I'm like, they will say I'm totally against courses

and this and that, no, I'm against liars. I'm against people who fucking make shit up or pretend to be something that they aren't, which is a lot of the internet right now. And it's also very hard to tell if you don't know the questions to ask, but I can tell you if all you gotta do is say, have you, has, what have they built?

What have they done? How have they done it? How long have they been doing it? How many customers they've served? You know, what's their product? Can I order the product? What's it like to use their product, right? Do I recognize it? Do I not recognize it? Have I ever heard of this? You know, all these entrepreneurs on the internet seem to have these secret businesses that no one can see and have never fucking done business with. Oh, I used to have this and I used to have... Okay, prove it.

fucking done business with. Oh, I used to have this and I used to have, okay, prove it. Prove that to me. All right. The internet is full of liars and it's very, very important that we understand that not everybody has a good heart. There's lots of unethical people. With that being said, find someone who's doing what you want to do. Learn from them, model their behavior, pay them to teach you.

Um, and you'll be on the right path. Now the second part to that is when you scale, because we don't know something doesn't mean that there aren't positions that you can pay someone where they know it very well. So if you were to hire an experienced warehouse manager, they're gonna know what it is that you don't know and do it for you for a fee. So you just have to find the right person that knows these things and you have to vet them and you have to make sure,

just like I said about the coaches, you have to make sure they've done it, you have to make sure, you know, you have to call their references, see what they've actually done. And, you know, our distribution and fulfillment center here, I didn't set that shit up. My Mike and fucking Brian set it up. Right. So like these, these are guys that had the knowledge that I didn't have. And then they went and build it. And I learned the knowledge as we went. You see what I'm saying? How important is that too though? I think it's very important.

You still need to know a little bit about it. Anytime I've ever not learned enough, I've gotten taken advantage of. So you have to know enough to not get taken advantage of. So, and that's easier than ever, right? There's lots of information available for free about literally fucking anything. Go on YouTube and see a video

on how to do fucking anything. I can do open heart surgery, bro. Dude, I'm just telling you. It's real shit. Yeah, you can learn, well, you can learn enough about it to where you can have an intelligent conversation, right? So, there are no secrets like that anymore. Cause everybody's making content,

there's much more information available. The point is, find someone who's done it before, I'm gonna answer this in one fucking sentence. Find someone who's done it before, pay them money to either do it for you or teach you how to do it. That's what it comes down to. Yeah, it's very simple.

I love it, man. Just because it's a complex problem to you doesn't mean it's very simple. I love it, man. There's, just because it's a complex problem to you doesn't mean it's a complex problem. You see what I'm saying? Like if I were to say, hey, I need to code, well, I do know how to code now, but if I were to say, I need to code a fucking basic funnel website,

three months ago, I wouldn't know how to do that. It would be mystical to me, but fucking anybody who knew the shit could do it in a fucking hour. Wouldn't you say too, there's't know how to do that. It would be mystical to me. But fucking anybody who knew the shit could do it in a fucking hour. Wouldn't you say too there's an energy component to that too? Like is it worth your energy actually doing it? Yes, absolutely. That's another thing.

You have to understand where your energy makes the most sense. We call that working on the business versus working in the business. Okay, so he's growing to a point with his window company, right? Residential window installation. To where he's growing to a point with his window company, right? Residential window installation. Yeah.

To where, you know, he's not understanding about warehousing and things like that. You want to know enough, but you want to focus on the growth of the business, the running of the employees, the big picture thing, and you want to hire professionals to handle those things for you. And you might not be able to afford it, so you might have to do it for a while. Like when I first started in my warehouse, dude, I was packing boxes, me and Sal, Chris, Jason, we went out there every day at four o'clock

and packed fucking boxes. There was a time at first form for years where it was me, Sal, Jason, Will, Aaron, and a couple other dudes in the back packing box at four o'clock every fucking day. Okay, and then with the warehouse guys, because we fucking, that's what we did. And funny enough, those were some of my favorite days of business

But simple problem to solve dude really is and just because it's mystical to you. Let me tell you something, dude I fucked my whole Timeline up by not learning this lesson. This one lesson will save you years. Okay. I didn't open my second store this lesson. This one lesson will save you years. Okay. I didn't open my second store till we were six years in. And you know why? Because I kept telling myself they're going to steal from me. How do I get someone to work for me? You know, they're probably going to do this and that and this. And guess what? They did all that shit. They fucking stole. They fucking fuck my shit up. You know, not them specifically, but along the way that happens. It's gonna happen. Yeah, so these fears are irrational.

Unavoidables. Yes. And dude, had I just opened it the third year we were in, we'd be that much more ahead. But I'd lost three years of my life asking myself and struggling with the same question that he is. Good Lord. Yeah.

Three years of my life. That one, the answer to that question that he is. Good Lord. Yeah. Three years of my life. That one, the answer to that question that I just gave is worth three fucking years of my life. That's what it took me to learn it. So what's that worth? Yeah. What's three years of your life worth? You know what I'm saying?

That's real, man. That's fucking real, man. Well guys, we got one more question. We got Colin. Oh, we do? We got Colin. So Colin. Another Colin. So let's give, I hope I pronounce this right, Amira. Amira. Amira.

Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira.

Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira.

Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. No, not as DJ. And can you hear me? I'm in my car. I got the carplay on. We can hear you just fine. Can you hear us? OK. Oh, so me and I made a bet. I'm trying to pronounce your name correctly.

Amira. No, damn it. Amira. Yes, it's Amira I dare you guys to try to pronounce the last name. I don't know if I should even share that. I don't even think it's there It's fine. So what's going on? How are you? I'm good. I'm even better talking to y'all. This is so nice. I love the new format. Oh Yeah, so I don't want you know too much of your time I'm better talking to y'all. This is so nice. I love the new format. Oh, thank you. Yeah. So I don't want to eat up too much of your time. I appreciate you reaching out and answering my question.

That's awesome. My big thing is I feel I'm very mature for my age. I'm 21. I've lived a lot of life. I live on my own. I've already graduated college. Working full time. I'm doing acting.

But my thing is, and I've seen you talk about this on the show before, you know, I don't even have the Instagram off of my phone. I hate social media, but I have to have it for what I'm doing, what I'm trying to do. The thing is, it's like there's so much, you know, excuse my language, BS and noise, and people lying and, you know, inflating themselves. And I try to not let it get to me, but it's things like people will act like they're on some huge debt, for instance, and they're just a background person,

but they're gonna act like they're next to Kevin Hart. Things like this happen all the time. So I guess my question for you is, because I'm sure you probably have had similar experiences in business coming up, how were you able to get rid of that energy and just focus your attention and keep going? It's funny that you say that

Amira we were literally just talking about this in the last question before we called you It's it's so weird that disconnected like that. So first of all first of all I cannot stand these fake motherfuckers on the internet, bro, that all pretend like they built shit or did shit, selling all these young people bullshit dreams and things they didn't do and taking their money. It's highly unethical to me because like, look, man, these young people are paying you sometimes their last amount of money to learn some real shit that they don't even intend on teaching. They just want to take the money and they do it through deceptive marketing and I wouldn't

even call it that just straight up lying. So I get it, dude. And it frustrates the fuck out of me and then I see You know so many of these dudes just Dude, I totally get it. All right Um, here's the answer Focus on your own shit. All right these people I've been doing this so long the people who were lying and faking and and

Pretending they're gone. I've seen them come and go and come and go and come and go 20 times over the last 20 years. So this is just the, we are gonna deal with these kinds of people along the way who are gonna pretend they're gonna hype themselves, they're gonna lie, they're gonna cheat, they're gonna pretend like things are better than they are which by the way is the entire internet

Everybody pretends like they're living this highlight reel and then as we're struggling to do what it is that we do We are feeling bad about ourselves. We're like, oh, we're not doing it as big as they are when we know they're full of shit All right, so still get this though. Yeah, but it does dude. It burns you. You're like fuck this guy. So here's the reality man. Those people come and go, and the people who actually become something in reality,

they focus on their own craft. They focus on their own skillset. Every time they see something like this, they just dismiss it as it's bullshit. And like, I'll tell you what I do. What I do is when I see shit like that and it makes me mad, I do something immediately that's gonna move me more towards becoming the real deal, okay?

Not the fucking internet deal. And so, look, the answer is very simple. And it's hard to, that's a hard discipline to learn because we all care a lot about, you know, you're trying to become the best actress. You're, you know, I'm assuming that you're not trying to be, you know, D-roll commercials for fucking local car dealers, right?

Like you're trying to be like, you're trying to become a real deal actress and that requires you to practice, to focus, to learn your craft. And so when you see people doing this, I would learn to transition immediately. Like you start feeling upset and feeling frustrated. I would learn to transition immediately to positive action.

Okay, and what we call, this is called a production pivot. All right I was just gonna say that I said I literally was gonna say that Yeah That's what it's called. Okay, so we we take in negativity and then we say fuck this and then we do something positive Somebody hates on you. They talk some shit on you. They make you feel a certain way You immediately use that as a mental signal to go do something, practice your craft, read, get in front of the mirror, recite some lines, talk to your acting coach, talk to your voice coach, work

on your shit. If you play an instrument, you go practice. So dude, if if we can if we can harness the negativity and pull it in and then put it out in productive action, that's a recipe for not just success, but honestly dominance because there's so much negativity out there. You know, we are going to be faced as ambitious people with much more negativity than we are with support. People aren't going to believe, they're going to doubt, they're going to put things in our head, they're going to say things to us that upset us. And if we don't learn to use the frustration and the doubt and the negativity as a trigger to then go practice, it's very hard to get where you're wanting to go. And I know there's a lot of people online that say, prove

yourself right. Don't worry about proving them wrong. Those people are usually fucking call losers. Okay. I'm just being honest, very few people can actually do this without harnessing the majority of the energy that's out there, which is negative. So we have to be willing to see it for what it is bullshit. Take it in, put it out into action and then we get better from it. Does that make sense? Awesome. Awesome. That's good stuff. Yeah, it makes total sense. Alright. Yeah. Fuck those people, dude. Yeah. And you know, I got it. Yeah. No, that, you know,

the one that drives me nuts are these influencers, man. Oh my Lord. I know. I know. I won't say anything about that, but yeah, no, that's good stuff, Andy. I appreciate it. All right. Amir, thank you so much for supporting the show and it's a pleasure to talk to you. Just keep your goals clear, keep your actions clear. Spend your emotional energy on getting better

and learn that discipline of taking that negativity and putting in a positive action. You're gonna be just fine. Wonderful, well thank you so much Andy. It was a pleasure talking with you. I'm so excited, I can't believe that. I love this new format. I've been listening to you since COVID

and you've honestly changed my life. I appreciate you both. Listen,, listen, we appreciate you. Thank you so much for all the support. Of course, of course. Y'all have a great day. You too, Amara. You too. Thank you.

All right. Bye, honey. Bye, DJ. So dude, that is something that anybody who is ambitious is especially, I mean dude, we all deal with this in different ways. I don't even know if it's just a bit, like I've learned to look at social media

a little bit in a different lens just from the, I feel like there's two- You know it's fake. It's two groups of people. There's either like the over-polished, they're showing you what they want you to see, right? Or you got the victim crowd that's gonna cry on every post and shit like that. Yeah, because that's the only way they can get attention.

That's it, that's it, you know what I'm saying? So that's how I learned to look at it. Yeah, but then there's the third people. Who's the third people? Like the third people who take five years off of social media and build a fucking empire. Oof. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I like seeing that shit. That's what I'm saying. And dude, here's the thing, you know, like, you don't think that when I was taking time off social media, I didn't see a lot of these other entrepreneurs starting to catch up on social. You don't think I saw

their fake engagement. You don't think I saw them posture and like they were bigger than they are. You don't think I saw that every time I fucking saw it, I'm like, dude, fuck that. And I went to fucking work. Now we got all these different

massive things happening. And that's evidence. My own story is evidence of that. If you've been following me since 2012 when I started, you guys saw me grow the first phase of our business. When I stopped in 2019 to now, it's fucked, we're in the, we're probably in the fourth phase, okay?

And every time I saw one of these motherfuckers doing their bullshit, I'm like, fuck that guy. And I went and did something. And that's how things are produced. So we have to learn. We have to like, like people say this in a different way, which I don't agree with. They say don't comparison is the thief of joy.

No, actually, you should get pissed off about the comparison and take that energy and go fucking use it. You know, like when I see motherfuckers doing better than me that I don't think deserve it. Quote unquote doing better than me. That's right. I'm like, dude, this dude couldn't hold my nuts in real world, you know what I'm saying?

And I fucking go do the thing. The point is to do the thing, not pretend like you're doing the thing. You know what I'm saying? And there's very few of go do the thing. The point is to do the thing, not pretend like you're doing a thing. You know what I'm saying? And there's very few of us doing the thing in this world as opposed to just talking about doing the thing. So I would rather be doing the thing. And I think Amira would too.

And I think all of you guys would as well. So don't get caught up in the illusion of social media because, you know, and there is some, there is some, there's a lot of value in building a tremendous social media presence, but you need to leverage that into real business, not just, you don't want likes and shares and comments for the sake of having them. You want to be able to leverage them. And like, dude, if we're being real, there's influence or fatigue. You know, people like the game has changed, dude. There's a big difference between attention and influence.

Attention is post every day, use this hook, do this thing, fucking, and there's nothing wrong with that if you could leverage it into a business, but don't do it for the sake of doing it, okay? You want impact, you want depth, you don't do it for the sake of doing it. You want impact, you want depth, you don't just want width, and you want to be able to leverage it right. So being an influencer for the sake of being an influencer is a cycle that people get into and they can't get out of because now they're earning all their money from brands and they're doing the same content as everybody else

and then the brands don't want to work with them because they got their profiles fatigued, they can't reinvent themselves and they're and it happened dude they start getting this they get into like the cycle they can't break out of it dude you don't want to be that you want to be somebody who is doing real things in real life and building your attention from inward to outward, not outward to inward, you know what I'm saying? Like meaning like you built something, you did something, that's why you're getting the attention versus getting the attention and then trying to harness it.

You could do it both ways, but most people have a very hard time of getting the attention and harnessing it. But if you build a thing and then that's influence because it's the fucking receipts are there. You know? That's real, man. That's real.

Well, guys, Andy, that's a hell of a way to start a Monday. Yeah, guys. Hey, thanks for all the support. Don't be a ho. Show the show. Went from sleeping on the floor, now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a bowl, fuck a stove