REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 882. Q&AF: Finding Like Minded People, Success Without Shame & Overcoming Paralyzing Fear

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

On today’s episode, Andy answers live call-in questions on how to find like-minded driven people in your success journey, how to feel proud of your progress without feeling guilty, and how to face the fear of rejection, especially when you know it’s the next important step you need to take to win.

What is up guys, it's Andy for selling, this is the show for the realest sake of item lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. That's what we're doing. All right. It is what it is. Fuck you, Madat. No, we can't add more. You're gonna ruin the show.

Sorry. All right. Anyway, today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers, all right? You can submit your questions a couple different ways. The first way is, guys, email these questions into askandy at andyforsella.com.

Or you go on YouTube in the comments section, ask your question in the comments. Or if you wanna call in on the show, go to the link right underneath the YouTube video, click that link, fill out your question, and you can talk to us in on the show, go to the link right underneath the YouTube video, click that link, fill out your question, and you can talk to us live on the show. Maybe. Maybe.

If you don't have some dumb shit. All right, but that's how we do it. Now, if you're new, which we're getting a lot of new people right now, welcome. This isn't the only format of the show. We have shows within the show, all right? Today we have Q&AF. Tomorrow we have CTI, it stands for Cruise the Internet.

That means we're gonna put topics on the screen, we're gonna speculate on what's true, what's not true, and then we're gonna talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. It's half comedy, half real stuff, all smoke, all right? Then we got real talk, which is 100% all smoke. And then we have 75 Hard Verses. 75 Hard Verses where somebody who has completed the 75 Hard program comes on the show.

We talk about how they were a dumpy turd and how they use the 75 Hard program to not be so dumpy. Alright, they get their stuff together. You get the whole 75 Hard, Live Hard program at episode 208 if you're unfamiliar with live hard It is the entire year-long mental toughness program It is the most popular mental toughness program ever in history and it's free. You can get the whole thing at episode 208 All right. There's also a book available. The book is called the book on mental toughness. You can get that at andyforsella.com And I also have a big big Drop coming on. coming on I don't know

We'll say right around July 4th. Just right around there. So If you know, you know, right Now we don't run ads on the show now I know some people in YouTube that are not very smart say well YouTube runs ads in your show no shit I can't help that we don't run ads on the show. I don't pick up products and say hey 14 times a show okay, we finance the show ourselves. I don't want to answer to anybody so I Asked very simply to help us share the show all right We put a lot of time a lot of effort a lot of money into delivering these messages

And we would like your help sharing the show. So we got a little thing that we say here, it goes like this, don't be a hoe. Share the show. So let's do what we gotta do here, man. You know, we make people better on Mondays and then. I was better today. Huh?

I got better today. I got to drive a pretty sweet car. Yeah? Like 10 feet. Yeah. That's all I trust you to drive it. Dude, that fucking car is sick. You didn't wreck it, did you? Fuck no.

I'm like, come on, man. Come on, I can drive. But fuck, that thing is like, it was like DJ GO. Like that's what it was saying. Oh yeah. Like I started it up, it was like, let's go. Yeah, that's what it says. Fuck.

Yeah. It's the GT Black Series. The AMG GT Black Series. It's so sick. It's so sick. Dude, I love that car too, man Yeah, it's this dude. I was holding the brake more. I've almost sold it I've almost sold it a couple times and trade it in for the new 3rs. But I Think it's I don't know man. Like I like it better. It's nasty. Yeah, it's not that's a that's a beast

Yeah, that is a beast. But yeah, man, let's get to uh Let's get to making some other people to better. Oh, they we got some good ones for you guys as always We're starting off with Colin or a call first man. I got a got my man Jeremy waiting So let's let's uh, let's give Jeremy a call Hello? Jeremy, what's up, dude? Hey, how's it going? What's going on, man? What's up, Jeremy?

How you doing, bro? Doing good, doing good. We're getting some cars ready for the local car show tonight. Where at? We're in Oregon, SIO, little tiny town. There we go. We're in the city of New York. We're in the city of New York.

We're in the city of New York. We're in the city of New York. We're in the city of New York. We're in the city of New York. We're in the city of New York. We're in the city of New York. We're in the city of New York. We're in the city of New York.

We're in the city of New York. We're in the city of New York. We're in the city of New York. We're in the city of New York. We're in the city of New York. We're in the cars ready for the local car show tonight. We're at We're in Oregon file a little tiny town They shut down the main street and yeah, so I got nothing cool like you but I got some old Chevy Blazer and a C10 that I'm taking down there, bro. That's that's cool Go ahead, okay I'll just say yeah, I just yeah, I enjoy seeing your cars up at the inspiration for me. I'm Definitely into the cars and the motivation that way it definitely helps. Yeah, you know a lot of people don't realize how motivational And aspirational cars are for people that love them, you know, yeah. Yeah, you know a lot of people don't realize how motivational and aspirational cars are for people that love them, you know

Yeah, yeah So I guess My My struggles per se would be in the Making relationships with like-minded people on the same same path or even just finding those people. I grew up and kind of came really independent early on. Grew up with divorced parents and my dad was not a great role model. So throughout that I had to kind of grow up young and got really hard to trust people and to give people the chance

you know and then getting kind of burned a few times and it just made it harder. And so I guess looking for input that way. All right. So it's real simple. That's called fucking life, bro. Like, uh, you know, I grew up the same way, dude. Like my parents been divorced since I was five years old. Uh, I've been fucked over by every single motherfucker I've ever met in my life with the exception of like 10. Okay. Uh, the world sucks most of the time. That's why it's important that we have to live to a high standard.

And here's the thing. Uh, you don't need anybody to trust or believe in you or support you to do what it is you're, you're wanting, you're wanting to do. So, uh, and the quicker that you build yourself into a person who is doing things, the quicker you're going to find other people that are aligned with that, right? Nobody that's actually doing things out there at a high level wants to waste their energy or time with someone who's not. So, this is a common struggle with a lot of people who are trying to level up their their networks and When you're trying to level up your networks, it's important that it's very clear

You may not have the result, but you're doing everything you can to live at that standard You know behave like them act like them be be somebody who attacks, be somebody who's aggressive, be somebody who is looking to provide value to the people around them, not just take value. And those efforts are recognized by friend circles and peer circles that we would say are more down the road of the success journey that you might be right now. So I'm not saying you have to go out and produce the result. That always helps. But what I've found,

and I've had this happen to me many times, is that people who were above me in the success journey were able to recognize that, man, this guy's hustling, he's doing everything he can, he's working hard, he cares. Let me see how I can help this kid out. And you know, I've had a number of those people along the way, you know, come in and then, you know, out of my life as I outgrew those people. So we have to understand dude, that like very few friendships are permanent. Many of them serve a point in our lives and then when they no longer serve either party,

people grow apart. This happens in friendships, this happens in relationships. That's a normal part of life. A lot of people are wired to think about what they can get, not what they can give, and those people never win long term. And I know that it's difficult and I know it feels lonely, but the reason it feels lonely

is because it's rare. And you have ambition, you have drive, you have the want and the will to do bigger things. And not everybody has that, man. So when you have that, it's going to make you feel like you're alone. It's going to make you feel like you're the only one. But you're not the only one. There's lots of people like that. And the quickest way for you to become surrounded by that, you know, is basically twofold. One, make sure that you're putting the effort in and living the lifestyle of a person that would be at that level. And two, make an

intentional effort to be around those people. You know, this is one of the reasons that are a taste such a successful program for entrepreneurs is because people have a hard time connecting with other people that are ambitious, have drive, have focus, don't want to live the average Joe life. And so they join groups, you know, and there's other ones too This isn't a pitch for our day. It makes no difference to me But they join these groups intentionally so that they can be surrounded by people like that But I will tell you that even in those groups where people pay to be a part

You are still gonna have people that want to take you are going to have people who are there for them not to contribute. And so you just have to have you have to develop more of a filter for understanding what someone's real actual motivation is very quickly and that will reduce the amount of heartbreak that you have, you know, because when you're a good person, you give people the benefit of the doubt and then they end up burning you you know and that happens dozens of times man. It does start to wear you out. You know and I've struggled with this myself because like dude. I try to help everybody around me I try to help everybody be successful I tend to take everybody's problems and put them on my fucking back which is very difficult and

everybody's problems and put them on my fucking back, which is very difficult. And it's why I think I've been an effective leader. I won't even say a good leader because I'm in the process of becoming a better leader every single day. But, you know, bro, it's just a hard thing. And, you know, good comes with the bad. So when you have this want and this will and this desire to help people

and you put their problems on your back to fix, a lot of times those people won't reciprocate. And that's just reality. So we have to become more finely tuned. But here's what I'll say. Out of all the times that I've been fucked over, there's been way more times where I've developed great relationships and done good things and had great times and built good friendships. And it's worth being that way. It's worth being that way even with the

times you're going to get fucked with. So, bro, I just, you know, you gotta understand the nature of the world. You know, the world isn't what we want it to be, it's what it is. And we have to realize that being a good person, trying to contribute, trying to do the right thing is not always reciprocated, man. And that's just called fucking human nature.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, and I think, man. And that's just called fucking human nature. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And I think, I mean, that's, I mean, I've been listening to you for five years now, buddy of mine turned me on to you. And it really validated a lot of, honestly, how I felt for a long time, but just feeling kind of like held down

from people around me in a sense. And since then, I have had a big change. And during COVID, I left my job that I was at, I started getting told to put a mask on and got my construction license and just been doing my own thing. And it's been good, but it's been very challenging because I feel like it's the higher standards

you start putting yourself to, the more like it seems like you have a target on your back because everyone's like, now, oh, you think you're better than us or this or that and the other. And honestly, I honestly been doing it most of Lee and family and well brother you are better just own it like the quickest way to get over that shit is when they say oh you think you're better just

fucking be like yeah yeah like that like that's what I do. It's a pretty quick. Yeah, and then I don't deal with the shit anymore because they can't say it again. And whether I believe it or not, they perceive me to think that I'm better and no matter what I say, no matter how I argue, no matter how I try to convey to them,

like, hey, motherfucker, I don't think I'm better than you. I've just chosen a different path. I will just say yeah, because I don't want to waste the time. You know, yes, you're correct. Because I know from my experience that there is no convincing them otherwise. And that is not a problem with you, bro. That's a problem with them, their own limitations, their own regrets about how they gave up on themselves.

And we have to accept that. And I know it's frustrating, their own regrets about how they gave up on themselves. And we have to accept that. And I know it's frustrating, but bro, that shit is only gonna get worse and worse and worse. And then once you cross a certain line, once you cross over into like undeniable success, those same people are gonna be saying, man, dude, I knew Jeremy when he was just a young buck and he was getting it started and I always believed in him right and like

you're gonna fucking laugh and roll your eyes and you know it's all gonna come full circle bro like you just can't you can't let that weigh you down dude like like look you know I see this problem all the time man I see all these people who let people who let People who are close to them or even random strangers on the internet who aren't doing shit who are sitting at home with their fucking Cheeto fingers, you know eating their hot pockets in the basement They've never built anything, you know They the fucking only thing they've ever built is a good set of man titties like these motherfuckers are losers, dude

And they're always gonna be and it's unfortunate and I hate to say it that way thing they've ever built is a good set of man titties. Like these motherfuckers are losers dude and they're always gonna be and it's unfortunate and I hate to say it that way but it's just the truth and winners don't like losers and losers don't like winners. That's just the nature. That's the nature of human beings. All right so you're on the path. Go ahead. Well I was gonna say like honestly, I mean, correct. I mean, we've been having some just ridiculous family stuff going on and and it's like the people nobody will be accountable for the truth. Like your choices you make the actions you do, you know, the choices like you literally

choose to make your own truth. And so many people just won't even won't even accept their own choices and truth and then it's like you're the bad guy. Yeah no shit but that's because you did and they went they didn't and that's always going to be the case bro. If you want to be like them fucking go hang out with them and listen to their shit because that's what the fuck they want because then you're not a reminder every single day every single time they got to think about somebody from their family who's actually doing something

it reminds them that they haven't done shit with their life, bro And you're exactly right the result of one's life is a choice whether it's a voluntary choice or Involuntary choice most people think that the only time that life is a result of their actions is When they do the right things and they fail to recognize that the passive choices they make when they're not engaged in trying to be better, they create the opposite result. And so you are correct. They do choose it, but they will never admit that bro.

And you will spend your entire life trying to get those people to see it and they will never see it. So my advice to you brother is to understand you are on a different fucking path. They will never get it. They will never clap. They will never cheer until it's so undeniable that you are winning and then they'll come back around, but they'll only come back around because they think they can get some from you, okay? Or they think they can like get clout by saying, oh yeah, Jeremy's my homie.

That's my nephew. Right, exactly. So like, bro, listen, just because someone's related to you doesn't make them your people. And that's the point, all right? That fucking sucks. Like I know it sucks, bro. It hurts.

It's not fun. But it's reality. Yeah. No, I got told I was a horrible person and that my kids were gonna hate me and all this stuff. Literally yesterday, I had to kick my mother-in-law and her husband out of my house because they were just completely disrespecting my wife

and tearing her down and seeing what she was, you know, what was happening to my wife. I was like, you need to leave like I'm not I'm not gonna sit here and let this happen you know and then of course it's just like you're such a horrible person and hey that's the right fucking thing to do bro you don't want that negative influence around your kids you don't need to hear it your kids are not gonna fucking hate you they're gonna be proud of you for doing what's required as long as you explain to them along the way, like, hey guys, I'm doing this because of this and this and this.

And yes, I might miss baseball one time. I might miss soccer one time, but I'm trying to create a life so that you guys can play soccer. As long as you explain it along the way, they're gonna fucking respect you for it and good for you Yeah, being man enough to kick those motherfuckers out of your house, bro, because most people will just eat it. Oh Man it was yeah, I mean between trying not to explode and just become part of the problem and just like nope

We're just not doing this, you know and Yeah, be you know Jeremy being a dad that's tough yeah listen that's the toughest path you've ever taken your life is being an entrepreneur and I'm sure being a dad on top of it makes it even that harder so it's gonna be tough that's it no it's tough but it's so rewarding you know I mean I've always felt like, you know, like for me, like we've got friends that, you know, I've turned them on to listening to you

and, you know, got them going to church and stuff that just, you know, bettering their lives and watching things change. And it's awesome. And then it's just like, when you get the people to come and they just want to kick you all, you know, all they can and try to make life hell.

And it's just like, I don't have time for that. That's right. You know, when it's family and trying to explain that, you know, it's like my kids understand.'s just like, I don't have time for that. That's right. You know? You don't. When it's family and trying to explain that, you know, it's like my kids understand. Like we're, I told my wife, the only thing we can do is just give them as much of the truth as we can really give them

without, you know, making it more than it needs to be to them. Right. But you know, they're pretty receptive. I mean, my kids, well, it's my middle daughter's birthday today, she just turned eight today. So we're so great in that too. But yeah, well, it's my middle daughter's birthday today. She just turned eight today, so we're still great in that too. But yeah, no, it's a tough one. I always told people not really having the parents that I

would have hoped when I grew up, but trying to be that person now, and it runs into. Your job is to give them the life that you didn't have, that you needed. There's not a motherfucker in this room that grew up with a fucking perfect family singing I'm seeing with five other guys. Yeah, I could tell you a fucking story about every single one of them and myself and Probably 98 percent of the people that work in this building So don't fucking feel sorry for yourself that white pick no no listen to me that white picket fence Fucking perfect family shit. That's a lie very few people have it so you can't say oh well

I had didn't have this or that Yeah, you and everybody else bro like You know like it's your you have an opportunity to fucking do the right thing you learn your lesson It's like what they say about people who, you know, are close to like a drug addict. Like I got a cousin, a distant cousin, who his dad is a fucking alcoholic and he's never drank before.

And you know, it's like they say, like when you have an example, you either choose to be like a more against them That's right, and you're choosing the right path man, and you should be proud of that Yeah, no, and I you know I think it on if you're talking to you I mean super thankful to get to talk to you. It's a Kind of helps validate your feelings when you feel like you're just fighting against the world that you don't have many people sitting behind you at this time you know because I'm early on into all this and, and being that we're obviously

on a different path than most of our family. And it's just, like you said, it feels lonely at times and, you know, getting to talk to like, I've looked up to you like as a mentor, you know, it's like, I told my wife, I was like, yo, engineering DJ, you're doing a call ins now. And she's like, Oh my gosh, I don't think I could ever do that. And I was like, well, I sent in a question. And so, get to talk to you. I mean, it's just awesome, you know, like I said, I really appreciate it. Like, it helps, helps to understand that I'm, you know,

if I'm not just losing my mind, you know, like why is this so hard, you know? You're not, bro, you're not. You're on the right path, brother, for real. Yeah, and that, you know and that's just one of like, you get people who say, oh, you know, you think you're better than us, or you're this or that, and it's like, well, I've put in a lot of work

to do what I've got, you know, I'm 32, and this is our fourth house, we've got 43 acres, and cows and horses, and you know, giving our kids everything we can give them, you know, and it's like, why can't you be happy for us, you know? Well, because they're not happy for themselves, bro Right. Yeah, no nothing. You know I thought you said I can't do the validation thing I've been listening to you and you hear it. You know and it's like

But then you know, it's like crazy in the same sentence even just be talking to you It's like I feel like you know, we're rolled away. There's no way I'm ever gonna talk to Andy, but like this I mean listen, man. I, I appreciate you calling in, dude. I'm just another dude out here trying to do it too. So I'm a little further down the road. I'm just trying to help you, you younger guys figure it out. I've been through all the shit you're talking about and I'm telling you, bro, I understand.

And I understand that it sucks, but I promise you it's fucking worth it. Yeah. All right? And I understand that it sucks, but I promise you it's fucking worth it Yeah, right, and I appreciate you know I appreciate that and you know I hope to keep hopefully I can pass it on to on the the next generation and keep keep bettering others and myself You know what you you should be everybody's boy. Hope you're already doing that You're already doing that Okay, got to remember that you're already doing that, okay? You gotta remember that. You're already doing that. So keep doing it. I appreciate it.

All right, bro. I appreciate it. All right, Jeremy, we'll see you, bro. I appreciate you. Yeah, thank you guys. You're welcome, bro. Thank you. All right, have a good one.

You too. I love that, dude. Yeah, I mean, look, dude, that's a common traitit that like it's a common problem that anybody that chooses different path outside the norm is gonna deal with which is most people Yeah, of course, bro, like No Most people just choose to do like everybody else and anytime you choose differently You're gonna get that shit like that's just normal and the other thing like you guys listening You're gonna get that shit like that's just normal and the other thing like you guys listening

You know, I hear this all the time man My parents got divorced or my dad was this or my mom was this or this or that? Yeah, bro Like fucking everybody most people. Yeah Like fuck dude, everybody's got shit Like what are you gonna do to correct so like your kids and other people don't have people the same shit? Like, you know, you're not have people the same shit like, you know You know, I thought about to grow cuz like, you know, I look at it this way to you and I hold on by the way That shit is the reason that you're on the path you're on Like it's nobody I've never met someone who's self-made that comes from a cush situation

the reason that they are that comes from a cush situation. The reason that they are fucking doing what they do is because they've had to crawl out of fucking darkness in some way, shape, or form. It might not be the same as yours, but there's something there that they had to fucking crawl the fuck out of. And they hated it so fucking much

that they were willing to do anything to get as far away from it as possible. And that's just, so we can't sit here and look at people who have these cush upbringings and all these advantages and all this shit and say, oh, well they got lucky. No, motherfucker, you got lucky. Because those motherfuckers never had to learn how to fight. They never had to learn how to crawl through the shit.

They never had to learn how to fucking take blows and get the fuck back up. You did. And that's an advantage. You got lucky, they didn't get fucking lucky. Like dude, it is real, it is real. And dude, people think like, oh man, that guy had everything. No dude, he's handicapped for life now.

You learned all these skills, you learned all these character these, these character traits, you built all this shit inside of you, this grit, this fortitude, all the things that make people successful, you had to have. They didn't. And that's a huge advantage.

When you meet someone like that in the battlefield, bro, you fucking destroy them, because they don't have those skills, they never had to develop them. Yeah. I look at it like this too. It's like, you know All the negative shit people will say when you're trying to go down that path and do good shit just wait to Wait to hear what they say when you don't do shit with your life. Yeah, see what they say then. Yeah, that's right

You know what i'm saying? That's right You're 40 years old you ain't did shit. Yeah, that's right, bro They're gonna talk shit on that too. And more importantly, what are you gonna think at 40 years old? Right if you don't do shit What are you gonna think right at 40 years old, right? If you don't do shit and you're gonna think god dude I listen to all these fucking losers and now look what I got to show for it It's real shit. Yeah, that's real man guys. Let's uh, let's get our next next question. This is a write-in question Let's talk about it guys any question number two Andy

even when I achieve something, I instantly look for the next mountain. I dismiss compliments, downplay success, and hold myself to standards I'd never apply to anyone else. I don't know if I was raised this way or just became this way, but I want to feel pride without shame. How do I allow myself to be proud

without feeling like I'm being arrogant or weak? What do you mean? A little gratitude, I guess. I don't understand. You did the work, you built the shit, be proud of it. What are you talking about? It's very fucking simple. Why the fuck do you give a shit

what that person over there thinks about what you did? Were they there when you were grinding it out? Were they there when you were, you know, everybody likes to talk about how lucky someone got. You know, like I just said a minute ago, that's the wrong perspective. None of these motherfuckers that ever criticized me spent a day in the fucking store with me my entire life.

I spent fucking years. None of them ever came and helped me do anything. None of them were there when I was struggling. None of them were there when I wanted to kill myself because shit was so hard. None of them. So I don't fucking care what they think about me driving a fucking Bugatti to work.

Or my other one to work. I don't fucking care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. You work there during the hard times. You have nothing to say to me that can take me away or make me feel less proud of what I've done. I've changed, fuck dude, I don't even know how many lives

with 75 hard and what we do with our companies and I have things to be proud of and no one could take that from me no one's gonna shame me out of it no one's gonna make me feel bad about it I did what they chose not to do they could have came and done something similar with me they didn't so I don't give a shit and you can eat get you need get a little more of that energy bro were they there to help you do any of this were they there to help you pull through the mud? Were they there to console you

when you didn't have anybody? Clearly not. So why do you care what they say now that you're doing better? I don't, yeah, for sure. I mean, you also talk about this too. It's like, because I feel like there's a little nuance in the sense of like, I guess just being hard on yourself,

not allowing yourself to be proud of the shit that you did. You know what I'm saying? When you're always moving that goalpost, setting the next fucking, that milestone that you're reaching and when your goals are so fucking big, how do you make sure that like, to be proud in those moments when you do get those wins? Well, I mean, dude, you have to acknowledge how far you came.

Yeah, I mean, you said it, it's gratitude. You take inventory. Look, man, you can take inventory and acknowledge how far you've come and still be hungry for much more. And that's why you wanna take a dedicated amount of time to like every day to say, hey man, this is a tough day. I didn't do what I wanted to do,

but look, I've come pretty far so far. Yeah, it's very simple, man. It's just- People get caught up in fucking spending too much time in that reflection zone. You know what I'm saying? All the shit that they did. Do you see that?

Yeah, man, because that's like the victim therapy culture we deal with now. You know, they got all this shit pumping out in everybody's brain, telling them they're broken and they need therapy and they have trauma, and they fucking need to journal seven hours a day and have this morning routine and do all this shit.

And like, it makes everybody think they're fucked up. You know, like when you're an entrepreneur and you're trying to build shit, it's just fucking hard. Yeah, and you know what? You kind of have to be fucked up to be any good at it. You know what I mean? You kind of have to have something to prove. You kind of have to be a little insecure. You kind of have to be a little insecure.

You kind of have to have those things. Those are the fuels that drive people, okay? And the reality is, is the world benefits from that. So how can you say that's bad? You know what I mean? Like we have to- People are eating because of that fuel. Yes, we have to understand that the shit

that's written for everybody else is not written for entrepreneurs All these things, you know the mental health and this and that and fucking this Bro, that's written for people who? They don't have the fucking darkness and they don't know how to fucking leverage it to be better You know, they they're feeling sorry for themselves. They're making excuses They know they haven't done what they're supposed to do, but then they make some sort of justification or philosophy that is really just a, I didn't do it excuse, dressed up in a nice outfit,

in a comfy little bed and some frills and shit. It's bullshit. okay? Like, motherfucker, entrepreneurship and building success is hard as fuck. It's hard, it's hard. It's never gonna be easy. You're always gonna feel like you're fucked up. You're always gonna feel like you're behind. You're always gonna feel like, you know, maybe I'm not any good at this.

But dude, if you keep showing up and you keep executing, you keep doing what you're supposed to do, the results will sprout and you will gain a little bit more confidence. But dude, even when you gain more confidence, you'll be at a new level. And when you're at a do the results will sprout and you will gain a little bit more confidence but dude even when you gain more confidence you'll be in a new level and when you're at a new level guess what happens all the same shit happens again you doubt your question you're insecure you push harder you go to the next just a repetitive cycle dude it's a hard life but many

many many people benefit from it so it's something to be proud of it doesn't mean you're fucked up it doesn't mean you have to rid yourself of that. When you rid yourself of all that shit, you rid yourself of your fuel. All right? When you rid yourself of your fuel, the growth stops. When the growth stops, people starve. What's worse? You being a little crazy or motherfuckers starving? You know what I'm saying? Like... Well, you put it like that. Yeah! Like shit shit man. Yeah, man. Dude, we've grown, this culture has changed from, you know, like when I'm just glad I grew up when I did because the culture's so different.

Like, entrepreneurs, successful people, people who drive hustle, grit, fortitude, tough motherfuckers that refuse to quit were celebrated. They were, you were told this isuckers that refused to quit were celebrated. You were told this is how you should be. It was noble. Yeah, now we have the opposite. Those people are fucked up.

Well, who's telling you you're fucked up? A bunch of nerds with a fucking four-letter degree that haven't done shit and sit in their living room with fucking house slippers on and take notes about what the fuck they think is wrong with you. Get the fuck out of here. Go wrong with you. The fuck outta here. Go build some shit. You'll be happy.

I love it, man. I love it. Let's get another call in. Yeah, man, let's get another call in. We got Josh. I like these names. Josh. Yeah, Josh.

Josh sounds like a cool guy. Yeah. I know a few cool Josh's. Yeah, I do too. Yeah, just Joshin' around. Yeah, all right, let's go. Let's go. Oh, here we go, Josh.

Let's keep the comedy to the CTIs, buddy. Ha ha ha. Hello? Hey, is this Josh? Yes, sir, what's up, DJ? Oh damn, how'd you know it was me? Because you sound like DJ. Josh, what's up, bro? I'm blessed, brother, how'd you know it was me? Because you sound like DJ. Josh, what's up, bro?

I'm blessed, brother, how are you? I'm doing great, man. I'm just sitting here with the boys, taking some calls, trying to help some people, you know, maybe, you know, listening to a few DJ shitty jokes. Yeah, I'll try. You know, and...

Hey, hey, hey, hey. What's up with you, brother? Where you at? I'm in SoCal okay cool cool what business are you in the gym business I own I own two gyms okay cool man how long you been doing it I got into the business at 18 years old fresh out of high school as As an employee, quickly became manager and then took over ownership about three years in at 21. I'm 25 now.

That's amazing, dude. That's awesome. So what do you think I can help you with, man? Yeah, so honestly, brother, I got a lot on my chest, but I'll start off by reading you the question I submitted in 250 characters and then I guess we'll go from there. So my question says that I typed in and submitted it says 25 years old, I own two gyms.

After three and a half years, it's really four, but after four years of working for free, I am now profitable. I need to pass out flyers, but I fear rejection outside of my own gym doors. How do I overcome this paralyzing fear? Well, look man, let me ask you this. Do you actually make people better at your gym? Yes, yes.

The growth has been all referral-based stuff of the incredible transformations and service. And throughout the years of being unprofitable, I had, you know, my spurts where I'd have to let up a couple of people go and be there seven days a week for a year and a half and then bring trainers on. And I'm there six to seven days a week and I treat everybody amazing.

And the transformations and the results are there and that's why I Get so many referrals But at the end of the day with my overhead my rent and all my expenses That's not enough and I've known that's not enough since day one to actually profit and the life that I want to live Hold on. We're gonna get to that in a second But you believe that Josh Cares enough to actually help people get results Yes, yes 100% Okay, if you very passionate about what I do, okay

So if that's the case then you should have zero discomfort trying to help people out on the street and talking to them and Offering them your services or at least making them aware and talking to them and offering them your services or at least making them aware because you actually do care and you're not just trying to sell them some bullshit and you actually are gonna help them get results. And if they do reject you, which lots of people will,

that's okay because the 20%, the two out of 10 that are gonna talk to you, you're gonna build relationships with them and you're gonna change their motherfucking lives Okay, so you can't puss out Because the eight people are not gonna fucking want to hear it You got to show up for the two that are gonna change their fucking lives. All right, so that's the first thing now Let's let's get into this other thing about the profitability. Go ahead and talk about that

thing about the profitability. Go ahead and talk about that. Well, on that note, when it comes to when it comes to that, like I agree, I agree. There's there's something in my brain where where I'm like, all right, I have I run both locations, all their operations by myself, all the employees are the trainers. I have eight employees right now, but I'm running the operations. And I look at myself and I say, what would be the best thing to do right now to grow and generate revenue? And the answer is walk out,

cause I chose the location next to a big retailer for this purpose and walk out and bring clients in and sign them up and change their lives so they bring in referrals and we grow. But my brain, I fucking do other shit. I grabbed the flyers and I walked to the door and then I ended up doing something else. I have something deep down that keeps holding me back. And I know the answer is and I walked to the door and then and then I end up doing something else I have something deep down that keeps holding me back and I know the answers because I've listened to you since 2017

Said be shit a hundred times. What's the answer go fucking do it? Don't be a pussy go to the grocery store and talk to every go go to the grocery store and talk to every person in There and don't leave till you talk to every person in there and I know these things I've been listening to you since I was 16 years old But my fucking brain I push. And I know these things, I've been listening to you since I was 16 years old, but my fucking brain, I puss out and I know the answer. That's the problem is you could have cut off the MFCO project six episodes in,

you already said everything that needed to be said. The problem with young persons is we don't listen. You want me to come out there and kick you out the fucking door, bro? Like I will come out there and I will kick your ass out the door and I will not let you back in your own fucking gym until you bring at least two more people.

Like, bro, listen to me. You have to do this, and here's an important thing. It's not just about growing your gym. It's about growing your skillset, okay? People are gonna reject you up and down the path. It's gonna happen for the next 25 years until you're so big that everybody's coming to you and you get to pick and choose. All right. That's where I'm at now. There's nobody that

brings me anything where I don't pick and choose. I'm not asking for anything. And it's very, it's really fucking nice. It's really nice, but it didn't get that way until I was willing to go down the path for, you know, 15 years of getting told to eat shit and learning how to handle people telling you to eat shit is a massive skill set because most people can't do it. So this is- I agree. Yeah, bro.

So like, look, man, you're building this up to be worse than it's going to be. All right. There's lots of things that can help you. If people are going to be rude, be nice back. You know what I'm saying? Well, I hope you have a great day, brother. Like, sorry to bother you. Just be polite back when they're rude.

And a lot of times, just like when they walk in your gym or you go in somewhere, like you've had a bad day, your fucking dog died or some shit happened. There's a book called The Four Agreements and one of the main four agreements is don't take anything personally and That really helped me realize like their reactions are not my control I if I go at it with the right intent and my intent is to actually help them Then I'm doing what I can do and maybe I present it wrong at first But eventually I learn how to present it better

So that converts higher and it produces a better result. But ultimately dude, this isn't about You just bringing people in the gym This is more about you building this the the tenacious relentless ability to Talk to people because dude, I'm gonna tell you this and this is very important The more and this is really important for the business that you're in because people are never gonna stop working out But the more that technology Infiltrates our society the more valuable

Intercommunication skills are going to be all right right? And you're 25 years old, dude. You grew up on a fucking phone. You grew up with technology. So it is a little bit harder for you because it's abnormal for someone of your age to do what I'm telling you to go do. But I'm going to tell you, dude, and this is real shit, that skill is gonna become so rare

that it becomes extremely valuable. And why it's gonna be valuable to you is going to be because the way that your gym is going to scale and grow is gonna be by you building community around your gym. And you could only build community with other human beings if you are great at dealing with other human beings. So when you tie all of this together, this is practice for you, bro. This is this is reps.

This is what you have to do. And if you don't do it, you're just not going to be as successful as you could be. Not even close. I agree. So you know, I know you know this, but dude, you know, when you're getting ready to walk out that door and you start to get that fucking, you know, like that bitch voice is in your head and it's like, fuck. Like, bro, just walk right through it.

Just keep walking and just go do it. And you're gonna find out, bro, after the first time or third time you get rejected, it's not even a big deal. It's not a big deal. And let me tell you something else. Are you married? Brother, I've been with my girls since I was 16. I've done a lot of things right in my life

This is the only one thing that fucking eats me alive every day. Okay. Yeah, we're married I'm married to been to get my first one for one bro. Okay, since we were 16. Okay. Well, I was gonna say For most men in your situation They they usually aren't married and your ability to talk to people is gonna dictate the quality of the mate that you attract. So this translates into all areas of life. So while that doesn't apply to you, it's important for the other young men

and young people to hear. So dude, you've just gotta force your way through it, man. And once you go through it once or twice, it's like the first time you walked into a gym, bro. The first time you walked into a gym, you were shit in your pants. I know you were, because I was too. And so was everybody else.

It's very uncomfortable. But once you've done it, you're like, what the fuck was I worried about? What was I nervous about? And dude, this is just a mental block, and it's going to take force the first two or three times. And you know why it's eating you, bro? It's because you're letting it linger.

If you go take this action, fucking today, and you go out there and give out five fucking flyers, even if it's just five and they all say fuck off, you're gonna realize, holy shit, I've been letting myself get eat up over over nothing and it's gonna free you I know that yeah then go do it I know I know that's why fucking you can tell me this for seven years over my phone listen to me hang up the fucking phone and go fucking do it cuz it's gonna make you feel better. I agree. I agree. And then at the end of the

day. Go ahead. And the part Andy if I can just be extra clear the part that that I've been torturing myself with is the fact that like who I don't know one person in my fucking life that will work four years for free seven days a weekend and go through the stress and I've done all the other shit that's so much fucking harder than this. But this is the one thing I've let eat me alive. I worked for free for four years and I had chest pains for six months.

I thought I was gonna fucking die last year from stress. But that one thing that I haven't been doing is the solution to all of my issues, which is why it eats me alive because it's the obvious answer that I know. All right, bro. Well, do you want to feel better today or do you want this to keep going? Yeah, I agree. I agree.

You agree with what? That's why. If you already know, what the fuck man? Go fucking do it. Yeah, well... Listen dude. Yeah. Dude.

Go do it. You're... You've already, like you said, you've already done all this shit. What's the worst that's gonna happen some fucking Bro like it doesn't matter like dude just do it You're gonna you're gonna go home and you're gonna be like fuck that wasn't that bad What the fuck and you're gonna feel lighter you're gonna feel better and you're gonna be proud of yourself You're gonna say and you're probably gonna make fun

of yourself, you're gonna be like, what the fuck was I doing? You know, so dude, you got this, bro. Like, you got it, dude. Just go do it. You, listen, just go do it. It'll fix all your shit. Yeah, I agree.

Yeah, 100%. Well, thank you, man. It sounds like that's all that you need to say, and there's nothing else for need to say and there's nothing else for me to say at that point then. Listen, brother, this will build your courage. Listen, you can't win in business without courage. It's impossible. You can't win without courage. The reason that, you know, all this stuff happened the last four to six years is because most people don't have it. If you

want to win in real life, in business, you got to have courage. And what you need to do is you need to understand that this is an investment in your courage that is going to be required for you to level up. It just is. There's going to be much, much, much harder things than this down the road. I'll give you an example, dude. Like this isn't the same thing, but it's a similar block that I dealt with. When I had my first retail store, I was so scared to open the second store. I was so scared to open the second store. I thought people were going to cheat me. I thought it wasn't going to

work. I had all these things that would go wrong in my head and Guess what? They all happened every fucking one of them But had I not went ahead and did it even though I was scared I wouldn't have you know I don't know we got like 40 stores now. We're opening more like literally all the time First form wouldn't exist none of this shit would have happened, man You wouldn't be talking to me You need to pull the trigger dude Because what it's gonna do is it's gonna free you up and build your courage and allow you to realize

You don't have anything to be scared of dude. You know anything to be scared of like it's it's a hundred percent mental And if you don't do it, bro and if you don't do it, bro, if you don't do it, you're probably gonna fucking lose in business, that's the truth. And you need to understand that. Yeah, yeah. And keep in mind, when I submitted this question, I went in here knowing that I'm gonna sound fucking retarded.

Like I already knew that. No, no, Josh. No, no, I knew that. Because, bro, I've been listening to you for seven years. I sound stupid, but I already knew the answer. But I wanted you to shit on me, bro. I'm not shitting on you, dude. I'm making you understand Listen that first of all, that's not stupid. That's a real concern It's a really good question because a lot of people struggle with it It's stupid ones are the people that don't ask the shit The stupid ones are the people that don't do it and think that they can get around doing that and that they're just gonna be able to ignore

that part of their life. Josh understands this is a big fucking deal. This isn't about the flyers working. This is about overcoming something he's afraid of. That's a big deal, okay? Like I know a lot of people are listening, they're like, well, tell him to do this or that or this. Motherfucker, we're not talking about that.

We're talking about him getting over a mental block and you have to learn how to do this because there's going to be more down the road. All right. So dude, this is not stupid. You're not stupid. I'm not shitting on you, but it's very important because if you don't learn how to overcome the mental blocks, bro, there's going to be more of them and you won't be able to overcome those. And it's going to limit your success for you won't be able to overcome those and it's gonna limit your success for you Your girl your future family and everything you got going on bro, and I'm not gonna allow that to happen Yeah, I Absolutely. Yes. Thank you

100% and the the the part that that makes it that really made me realize that I have to address this now Which I have always known is as of January started making a chunk of cash every month, both locations are profiting great. And I still feel empty and dead and unfulfilled because the profits and being in the green, it doesn't mean anything to me because I'm still ignoring literally what's in front of my fucking face.

So until this is addressed, no matter how much money I make, I'm ignoring Something that's in front of my face is gonna fucking keep me up at night like it has for four years, bro The fact that it keeps you up at night is a great thing because it means you're aware that it's something that you need to overcome Okay, but this is so simple. You could overcome it today real talk. You could overcome it today today. Real talk. You could overcome it today. Yeah. And you should. And I will. All right. Good. Yeah.

All right, brother. Listen, man. You're in a good spot. Just fucking, you know, follow through. You said you're going to do it today. Go fucking do it. I'm gonna text you to find out too. Yeah. DJ is going to follow up. Was that your number you were texting me on, DJ? Yeah.

What was the show's name? All right, I'm gonna hit you up. I'm gonna text you like 10 times a day, bro, okay? I'm gonna ask you what you're eating for breakfast. I'm gonna check in. Just no penis pics, please. And if you don't text me back, I'm gonna be pissed, bro. I thought we were friends.

Sweet, man. All right, Josh, go get it, bro. Yes, sir. Appreciate you guys. Thank you for everything. Thank you, bro. Go do it. You got this. Yes, sir. All right. guys. Thank you for everything. Thank you, bro. Go do it. You got this. Yes, sir All right

Yeah, man look dude, that's not it's not about the flyers it's not about it's about overcoming the mental block Yeah, I was thinking about it too. Cuz he said he's been with his girls since they were like 16 So the reality of it too, he's never had to really face rejection at all Well, you know I'm saying like yeah, I mean I mean Yeah, I mean when you like girls and you know, you're young and you don't have the luxury of having one since you're 16 You're gonna get used to be told fuck off Kind of comes to the territory So yeah, well guys

Andy that was three. All right guys. Hey, let's go out. Let's get it Let's make it a good week and we'll see you tomorrow