REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 903. Q&AF: Setting Boundaries, Getting Over Guilt & Developing The Skill Of Patience

Episode Date: July 7, 2025

On today’s episode, Andy answers live call-in questions on how to set boundaries with other driven people, what are some good ways to let go of guilt from your past, and how to build patience as you push for success.

What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest, saying goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of mob society. Welcome to Muffin Reality, guys. Today we have Q&AF. That's where you submit the questions, and we give you the answers. Now you could submit your questions a few different ways. The first way is, guys, email these questions into askandy at andyfrasala.com. Or you go on YouTube on the Q&AF episodes.

There's a link there that you click on Submit your question there and you can call in live on the show and ask your question. All right Throughout the week if this is your first time listening, we're gonna have shows within the show We're gonna have cruise the internet. We call it CTI. That's where we put topics up on the screen here We talk about what's going on in the world. We speculate We put topics up on the screen here. We talk about what's going on in the world. We speculate And then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world other times we're gonna have real talk real talk is just five to twenty minutes of Me giving you some real talk and then we have 75 hard verses occasionally that's where someone who has completed the 75 hard program comes on the show

someone who has completed the 75 Hard program comes on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they used the 75 Hard program to get their shit together. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, okay, which is available for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. It's not on YouTube. It's only audio We weren't on YouTube when that came out. All right So if you're unfamiliar with live hard is the world's most famous mental transformation program and it is free And episode 208 on the audio feed. There's a book on my website called the book on mental toughness That website is Andy forforsella.com. It's not necessary.

You don't have to buy it, but it's got the entire program plus a whole bunch of other chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how to cultivate it, and how to use it in your life. All right. With that being said, we don't run ads on the show. We ask very simply that you help us grow the show by sharing it All right So if the show makes you think if it makes you laugh it gives you a new perspective if it's something you think is worth sharing

Don't be a hoe sure the show all right What's up greeting salutations? Yeah How's it going good? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, we're Fourth of July. Got a coming, this show's released on Monday. So I mean, we'll after, but, it's one of my favorite holidays. Is it?

Yeah, it is. Like, is it, what's like your holiday rank? I don't know, man. You're just giving for me. They're all the same to me. Yeah. You missed an opportunity there. What? Quanta?

No. What? Was I supposed to say Quanta? What was I supposed to say? No, I said mine used to be Thanksgiving. Oh. You know, I tried to tee you up there, but Quanta was equally impressive.

That was good. Oh, that was good, man. Well, I don't want to leave you out, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, there, but Kwanzaa was equally impressive. That was good. Oh, that was good, man. I don't wanna leave you out, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, no, it's fine. It's fine. Did you know, fun fact, about 4th of July,

did you know that the Declaration of Independence wasn't actually signed on 4th of July? When was it signed? I don't know, but it was not on it. It was approved on 4th of July, but was signed, I think, a day later or something like that. Yeah. Fun fact. Cool.

Cool. They teach you that in Kwanzaa class. Yeah. It's right after the chapter on Fuck America. That's right. That's right. Yeah. I had to read that chapter.

Exactly. I don't know. It's Q&A though, man. It is, this is one of my favorite episodes. Yeah, me too. It's awesome. Get to hear some though man. It is this one of my favorite episodes. Oh, yeah me too It's awesome get to hear some I think we should just switch and say No more CTIs and only calling Q&A's and we try pissing people off I actually think we should do two of these a week to Q&A's. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I think

I think it's a totally different audience. Well, I know it is and I think The show would be much more valuable if we did two and not just one. I Was gonna talk to you guys about it later, but yeah, we're talking about it. Yeah, it's not open. Yeah Yeah, I'm not how that would work. Yeah, I'm saying yeah, like how would we record that with the schedule? Yeah Man if only I was a professional podcaster and not just a fucking idiot with a microphone Yeah, that's right. All day long, man. I could get one of those microphones like all these dudes get

and just stick it in my face and record 700 videos in a row and I could produce content all day long. Yeah, read quotes and then interpret them. Let's do that. We'll just read all these quotes and then we'll interpret them you know like let's do that we'll just read all these quotes, and then we'll interpret them and You know we won't talk about any actual lived experience. We'll just talk hypotheticals. You know what's this mean to you? What's your truth? You know truth? Yeah? Yeah, I could move up from, you know, rank of 22.

That's actually globally. That is impressive. No, it's not. We fuck. I was number one with MFCEO for a long time, bro. Overall. Overall. Yeah.

Shit. I mean, we were up there, dude. We got some work to do. Well, you know what it is, dude, is like the podcasting has, you know, back then there was not nearly as many podcasts and now there's just a ton and now big business has gotten involved in the podcast. So there's these big networks that run massive amounts of advertising. That's why sharing the show is so important, you know, for us. We don't take corporate sponsors. We're not signed up with some network. It's an independent show that

we finance ourselves and we hang in there with the people who are spending millions and millions and millions of dollars to promote the show. So it's cool, it's really good. I know we're the only organic show that's ranked that high for sure. And probably the only unaffiliated show that isn't on a network.

Besides Rogan, I think Rogan doesn't, oh no, he's with Spotify. Yeah, but I mean, let's be real, Rogan's fucking Rogan. It's a different level. 4.42 million podcasts. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy.

Yep. That is crazy, yeah. So. Well, sweet, man, let's get into it. Let's make some people better today. Yeah. Let's start off with a call in. Let's get our homey, Kristen. Kristen, Kristen on the phone. Let's

give a call. Hello, this is Kristen. Hey, Kristen. Greetings, salutation. How are you? I'm good. How are you doing today? I'm we are calling from India. You owe us money. You day. We are calling from India. You owe us money. You're whatever. You we whatever.

And your morning. It's nice to talk to you. Your rich uncle passed away. He left you a billion dollars. I just need to Walmart gift cards. Yeah. Is give you all of my account information and you'll just make sure that that hits. Yeah Yeah, I've been listening to you guys too long to be that stupid So let's go at all Kristen Man, I really appreciate the call. I'm so excited about this. This is fantastic

So I've been I'm a big fan. Thank you guys for everything that you do My boyfriend is actually the one who paid the fee and turned me on to y'all. So we can all thank him for all of the growth personally and professionally that I've done listening to you guys and thanking you. But I think kind of where I'm at right now is I'm wanting to keep achieving and keep succeeding, you know, my career, and in my relationship, but at what point I think can I start to take more ownership of that and set the boundaries in place so that I'm basically just telling the world, no, get on my schedule or get the fuck out of my face. I really don't have time for your bullshit. And I just need, I know what I need to do. So, but I also am trying to do this with a partner

and I want him to get his, to meet his goals. And I want to support him in that. And I do think that we have a good thing going and that we are both very supportive of each other. But there's still these kind of growing pains and learning curves where I don't want to keep them from achieving his goals, but I got to go to sleep. So if you're going to the gym at 11pm, I'm not going with you because I already did my workout this morning, you know?

So setting boundaries for yourself to other people yeah like setting the boundary I want to support you in your goals you're supporting me in mine like at some point something's got to give and I'm not always going to go to the gym with you because I because we're on different schedules now because I did my shit you have your other shit too, and now here we are. Is this a current point of contention where you guys are like, disagreeing here or?

It has been, it absolutely has been. I've done the sleep deprivation thing, I've got small kids, I gotta go to bed to be my best self. So it has been, I think when I first said this Question in it was after a recent a recent fight about this very topic And that's kind of kind of what led to it. Well, I mean Yeah, I you know, that's a hard question for me to answer because the answer is so obvious you say hey I'm fucking tired.

I'm not going to the fucking gym at 11 and see you later. Yeah, what does, I mean, you know, if you guys are in a good relationship, that should be automatic and it should be understood. Like, hey, we both have a role to play. This is my role, this is what i'm working on. This is your role. This is what you're working on I mean if that's a problem, you know, try waking him up at three o'clock in the morning a few times And see how he likes it. So

uh You know, I I don't that though these are very fundamental automatic things that should be, uh, pretty easy to overcome because dude, if you have a problem and I'm just going to be real, that's why you called. If you have a problem setting boundaries about shit like this, you're going to have big problems achieving big goals because this is a very simple, a very simple boundary setting exercise that to me, and I realized that, you know, to you, it may be different, but to me, that's just super

basic shit. And if we can't have a direct conversation with the person that we live with, um, you know, that's going to be a problem because as you go, as you go down the road of building anything, it's going to get harder and harder and harder. And there's going to be periods of time where there is no time. And that has to be understood for a relationship to survive that kind of growth and you know, sometimes they don't survive,

and sometimes people aren't aligned, and sometimes you don't find out that you're not aligned until later. You know, everybody wants the big prize. Everybody wants to be proud of what they're doing. Everybody wants to say they want it. You know, the aesthetic of hunger is very appealing, but nobody wants to fucking starve. You know what I'm saying? And like, dude, when you're talking about building shit, it's starving and it's hard and it takes massive amounts of sacrifice

of time. And, um, you know, that has to be understood by both parties or it's going to be a constant You know problem and dude I could tell you you know uh I've been in a number of relationships over the last 26 years and every time I was in a relationship Where it wasn't complementary I made zero progress in my business and my goals because a lot of my attention Was put towards appeasing the other person and, uh, you know, not getting what I needed to get done, done. And the reality of that looks like we don't want to do that to each

other. Right. What's that? I said, no, we don't want to, we don't want to do that to each other. It's like, we both know that we want to support each other towards reaching our goals, but sometimes we do that would be a different routine But what I'm telling you is Hey, what I'm telling you is is it sounds good until it's fucking real and everybody says they want to support everybody says They want you know to help but when it gets real and there's not enough time and you know There's priorities that have to be taken care of. That's where you find out really if people are actually about it. So

I think you guys need to have some real conversations about what that actually means because as you grow and as you progress, these things are going to get more difficult. And if they're already difficult, you know, there needs to be a realignment at a minimum. Does that make sense? It does make sense. And I hear that. And I do think that it is about kind of aligning the routines about it because I don't want to be the person that's holding him back either.

Um, no, I mean, look, man, it's, it's, first of all, let me be real, dude. I don't know anybody who has built anything relevant by themselves. Meaning anybody who's built anything, they either built it while they were with a supportive partner and then maybe separated. But I don't know anybody who built it when they were single because dude, the amount of work and the amount of effort and the amount of, of just straight up ass beating that you're going to take it, you have to have someone there that can help you with things. And I don't know anybody who is what I would consider massively successful, who didn't have a supportive partner, even if they were single.

So, you know, that's my honest experience. I can't name one person I know who's built anything real that wasn't with a partner that was supportive. who's built anything real that wasn't with a partner that was supportive. I know a lot of guys who maybe they built something and then got divorced and now they're single. I know a lot of guys, uh, you know, who were single in the beginning, got married, had a supportive partner, then, you know, broke up and lost their shit.

But like there's just a lot of things that people don't consider. And I actually believe that the dynamic between men and women, especially in building a life, I think is very skewed in the way culture and society presents it, because I personally believe that it takes both people. And so I think, you know, this whole identity of, you know, I could do things on my own. I, you know, maybe I don't know anybody who has, you know what I'm saying? Not anything real. So I think it's just conversations.

I think it's getting aligned, having some conversations and, you know, being real about what it's gonna take you know what I mean like there's gonna be times where it's gonna be really fucking hard and you know what when those times get really fucking hard I don't want to hear you fucking cry about it I don't you know I'm saying like not you but your partner, you know? So what do you think? Yeah. Well, I'm just that, I don't, so I'm like, you know, the female in this relationship, right? But I don't want to be the one who's back-burnering

my goals and my needs either. Well, what are your goals? I think I'm trying to achieve. Well, I'm trying to like make a high salary and reach that and have investment opportunities through those goals. And I'm on my way. I'm making a lot of progress. But I don't want to do it by myself either. But I don't want I don't. It's like I want to be able to find this balance. And I guess that that isn't setting boundaries. And so we're both

able to work towards our independent goals, but doing that together so that we can have a together goal. Yeah, but I don't. I have my needs that needs to be met. And I don't. And some of that is through the like our actual relationship. Yeah. And I don't want to be the guy I am divorced. So I don't want to go down that fucking road again Yeah, he needs he has needs too So it's not just right sided. Yeah

Absolutely Listen lots of people do what you're trying to do. It happens every day. I don't think this is overly complicated It's just about having some honest communication and keeping communication open without being emotional about it right you know, it's, I don't, I don't think anything that you're trying to do is, is so abnormal that it, it, it's, I mean, this is the way millions of people operate. And by the way, sure, this is something for everybody else too, not just you. This relationship dynamic that you are sold as normal is not that normal. Okay. The perfectly

happy married couple with the white picket fence that we're all told represents what life is supposed to be. How many motherfuckers do you know actually have that? Cause I don't know many. All right. And Because I don't know many. All right. And I certainly don't know many that have a big life, meaning they've built a lot of things. They make a lot of money. They have the freedom to go spend money and do vacation. None of those people have this traditional life. And we all, and this is all of us, spend our time is all of us spend our time judging our lives against this ideal that nobody fucking has. Nobody has it.

So when you think of like what you're trying to build understand that you are free to design that any way that works for you and what you're trying to accomplish and none of the ways that you can design are wrong. There's all kinds of ways to live a relationship. And just because in the movies, they make it seem this way, doesn't mean that if we're not that way, that there's something wrong with what we do, you know? So be careful of that too, because a lot of people live against a standard that is very imaginary, in my opinion. I just don't know many people

that live that in theory or application. Yeah. I mean, do you know? I don't, I don't. And dude, sometimes the happiest people have completely non-traditional relationships. You know, they, they understand like, Hey, this is what works for us. Like, bro, I know a dude who's married, who lives in a fucking completely different House than his wife. They're happy as fuck. Yeah, you know and everybody looks at him. They're like what's wrong with you? That's what that's wrong. Right? Well, dude, it works for them. So gives a fuck. Yeah, you know, so Gotta find what works for you. Yeah, you know what it does. It keeps him dating. Hmm Pick you up at 9. Yeah, that's right. That's actually kind of cute. Yeah, but not only that, you know, you're not, you're not,

there's, there's, there's mystery there. They're like, bro, it's kind of hard to have mystery when you're taking a shit in front of your wife for 20 years. You know what I'm saying? Like there, that dude for real. So like people dog the dude, but the reality is he's got a healthy relationship. You see what I'm saying?

100%. So we gotta be careful not to judge everybody just because it looks different. And I guess what I'm saying to you, Kristen, is get that in your mind. You know, like, dude, there's no right or wrong way here. It's about being effective towards what you're trying to do. And that's just gonna require communication.

It sounds like you're with a good dude. You know, he did put you on, he did put you onto the show. It must be all right. It sounds like, you know, you, it's honestly, it sounds like you just want confirmation and, and the truth of the matter is, is like, yeah, dude, there's no right or wrong way to do this. Just communicate openly. And it sounds like he's driven and he's he wants to do his thing

And you guys will figure it out man. Lots of people do lots and lots of people do and I would say I just want to say this again the happiest people I know do their own thing and they don't measure against what everybody else is doing Love it. Yeah, love it. I like that. Yeah Sweet. Well, thanks for uh, thanks for taking the call. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah You can hear my Big fan, thank you guys. Keep doing what you're doing. We appreciate it. Alright, see you guys. Yeah, man, I think a lot of people do that, bro. Yeah.

Like a lot of people measure their lives and their success and where they are, not against necessarily other people, but against this ideal that they believe is what everybody else has. When really dude, nobody has it. And they've never seen it. Bro, I don't know anybody that fucking has it now, you know, you got all these rules in society, bro You're supposed to be married by the time you're 30 or 25. You're supposed to have kids You got to do it like this. You got to do it like that. You got to do it, bro There it that's total bullshit. Yep, you get to do whatever the fuck you want to do like reality You know like you know what I was thinking of too?

It's like, you see those old movies where the old married couple, they don't even sleep in the same bed or they had the two twin beds. I'm like, man, that's fucking weird. But again, it works. My grandparents don't sleep in the same bed. Bro, there was a lot of rules from the old ways

that actually made for better long-term relationships. You know what I'm saying? I love the point too though, like, you know, when you just, like, because again, this is an entrepreneur show, but just trying to build anything, you gotta have some type of support there with you. Like, it's important.

Yeah, bro, listen. I think the male-female dynamic is so fucking fucked up in the way that it's presented in the world. fucking fucked up and in The way that it's presented in the world, you know, we have all these dudes screaming about how I don't need I don't need bitch I'm fucking you know, I got ten fucking hoes and Yeah, that sounds kind of cool right like when you're 20 I Just I think there's I think we

Try to put so much pressure to do things a certain way When in reality dude that there is no certain way, you know, and then we don't when we don't go that way You know we judge ourselves harshly, you know and what I was saying about the male-female dynamic I got off the track there for a second, you know And we got women because of the feminism movement, you know saying I don't need no man and men are saying I don't need no woman and then both of them are fucking miserable. Yeah, because I was lying. Yeah, both They are both lying and they're both trying to posture and wrote you you know, it's The truth of the matter is,

I personally think that's another weaponization of culture against people, because the reality to build something great takes, it takes a partnership, dude. Yeah, that's real, man. That's real. Let's keep moving. I got another question for you, question number two.

Guys, what's up? Let's keep moving. I got another question for you. Question number two. Guys, what's up? What's up? Andy, I'm about to turn 40 in a few weeks. And it's causing me to have some really deep reflection. I've done things I'm not proud of. I've hurt people, wasted time, broke promises to myself. Even though I've grown since then, I still carry some shame of those versions of me

I know holding on to guilt isn't helping but it feels like I deserve to be reminded How do I give myself grace without letting myself off the hook? I guess is what I'm asking Well, I mean you and everybody else you think everybody else hasn't had those same regrets You think everybody else hasn't done shit that they wish they hadn't you think everybody else see you think everybody else hasn't had those same regrets? You think everybody else hasn't done shit that they wished they hadn't? You think everybody else, see, you just don't see everybody else's shit. This goes back to fucking what we were just talking about. Every single person you know, bro, has these same feelings. Every single person looks back on their life and says, fuck, I should have done that different or I was mean

there. I didn't treat that person right. And they feel bad about it. Every single person out there looks back and they analyze their life because dude hindsight is 2020. You can clearly see the moves looking backwards and they say, fuck, I wasted time here. I shouldn't have done that. Or I shouldn't have done this. And there's two parts to this. One, yeah, that's called life, dude. The only perfect person that's ever existed in the history of humankind is named Jesus Christ. Is that your name? Are you Jesus?

Jesus don't count. Yeah, Jesus don't count, bro. You're supposed to sin. You're supposed to fuck up. That's the whole point. The better question for you to be learning or for you to ask yourself is what you learn. And the fact that you feel shame and the fact that you feel guilty tells me that you probably learned quite a bit, which is a great thing.

Okay. So how do you apply those lessons to the next 40 years? And you keep moving. And then finally finally I would say this, how would you treat your friend? If I was your friend and I came to you or the guys, what do you have a name? Steve fucking whatever. I came to you. I say, Hey Steve, listen man, uh, I feel really guilty about some things I did 10 years ago, and I carry a lot of shame. Well, what are those, Andy?

Well, you know, I could have done this, and I was mean to this person, and this and that. You're gonna fucking look at me and be like, yeah, the exact same thing I'm telling you. That was 10 years ago. Yes. Like, bro, there is an expiration date to your negative deeds and

You have to understand that and for you to say not let myself off the hook The the way you're not let yourself off the hook is by changing your motherfucking behavior moving forward. Okay, so What would you tell that friend? I would tell that friend. Hey, guess what Steve? Everybody has the same feelings you have. Everybody's made mistakes. Everybody has skeletons in their closet. You just aren't privy to seeing those. So you assume that you're the only one that feels that way when literally every motherfucker out there feels that way in some way, shape or form,

some more than others. Okay. And yes, there are some people, 30% of people have no inner dialogue. Those people probably never reflect on anything and they go through life. But here's the problem. They never develop either. They never grow. They never changed. They never progressed. And you have the opportunity to, by just acknowledging like, yeah, that's not the person I am anymore. And I don't do those things. And change the behavior, and that's how you do it. Would you forgive your friend for doing things like that? I would, I would say, hey bro, don't do that anymore. It's all good.

And that's how you should talk to yourself. Yeah. Is there something about, cause I feel like a lot of people, once they get up into that anymore, it's all good. You know, and that's how you should talk to yourself. Yeah, is there something about, cause I feel like a lot of people, once they get up into that age, like that's when they wanna start reflecting. Well yeah, because you have enough life to reflect on. You know, like when you're fucking 20, when you're 30 bro, you're looking ahead,

you're like, I'm still young, I have all this time. You know, even though I know a lot of people get 30 and they're like, oh dude, I'm so old. That's not real, bro. know a lot of people get 30 in there like oh dude I'm so old that's not real bro. When you turn 40 and you're in your mid 40s you start to realize well This is probably close to at least half my life How have I lived it and it's a different thing a lot of people call it a midlife crisis. It's just a midlife Assessment of how you're doing and I don't know anybody who hasn't become, I don't know anybody of quality who hasn't gone through that. That's normal. You're going to go through periods of reflection in your life many times. And I think what makes the one when you're about 40 or mid 40s more powerful is because you actually can do the math. You're like, well, fuck, if I'm double my age, I'm 80. So this is kind of probably half my life. How'd I do? Right.

And it's heavy because you're like, fuck dude. You know, cause I think everybody has this internal thing where they're like, man, you know, once I get this age, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll improve. I'll get better. I'll, I'll become the person I want to be. And, you know, once I get this age, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll improve. I'll get better. I'll, I'll become the person I want to be. And, you know, and then when they don't, they're like, fuck, I'm not even that person yet, you know, and it becomes a real thing. So you got to stop telling yourself the bullshit story and you gotta stop.

You gotta start living how you know you should live. Now how do you balance that? You know, cause you also say too, like, bro, like you're one of your biggest critics. Yeah, absolutely. And so like, how do you, I guess, how do you work through that of like making sure that you're not, you know, taking it too fucking easy on yourself? Well, listen, I'm probably the wrong person to ask that to

because like, I'm extremely hard on myself. Anybody who's close to me knows that. Like to the point where it's like probably not good for me mentally but It also is the reason why I am who I am So I have to look at my life and say Am I happy with the result that I've produced so far? The answer is yes.

How did I get here? Why did I get here? What made me get here? One of those things was being very critical and aware of myself. But what I have learned is that you can just adjust that way of living to be your baseline standard and you don't have to be that critical. You don't have to be angry. You don't have to tell yourself you're a piece of shit, you know, um, but

doesn't that get harder though? When you have more proof in the pudding, if you will, right? Like now you're doing stuff. You have less people doubting you. You know what I'm saying? So like, how do you, I guess like, how do you work that when you're not like, people believe, like they know, okay yeah, you're doing some shit, you've done some shit, right, and so like how do you, I guess,

just keep yourself in check, I guess, and that they're like, no, I still got some shit to do. You gotta set bigger goals. Your goals gotta be, like the goals I have, the amount of progress I've made in my life from where I started to where I am now is not even close to the amount of progress I've made in my life from where I started to where I am now is not even close to the amount of progress I actually want to make. So when I look at how do I stay hungry driven, you know, sharp, which I think is what you're

asking, my goals are so big that I still feel behind from where I'm at. And I think where people get really messed up is they get to a certain point where they're comfortable. And then they start saying, I've got it made. I can relax. They abandon all the habits that got them to where they are. And then they end up losing because they, you are in a competition. Okay. And there's other people playing the game and a lot of people will say, well,

it's not a competition No, that fucking is it absolutely is if you're in business, it's totally competitive In the minute you get complacent You're gonna get beat and so I think the way to trick yourself into not being complacent is to continue to expand your goals To something that will take your whole life to achieve, you know, and then they will say well Well, then you'll never achieve it. That's right because the achieving is not the point it's the person you become along the way and it's the process and the standard that you live in line with and a

Lot of people don't get that, you know, a lot of people will say get that you know a lot of people will say well I'm just in it for the money you'll fucking lose bro you'll lose because you're competing as people like me that love the fucking war bro like I fucking love it every day I wake up I'm like I might be like fuck this sucks but the minute I get out there I'm fucking trying to kill you and you know it's you either are for it or you're not for it. I can tell you this, every single badass entrepreneur I've ever met, they're fucking straight killers, dude.

Like they do not fucking give a fuck about feeling tired, they don't complain, they don't bitch, and the minute someone else bitches about being tired, they get excited because they're like, I got this motherfucker It's my blood yeah, bro, and like dude. This is the problem with the internet the internet has created this fucking Thing where everybody thinks they're an entrepreneur and like the truth of the matter is Most people just are not fucking wired for it, dude

They're not and you will have all these coaches out there say, oh that's bullshit they're wired for no they're doing that to take your fucking money. Okay. If you can't show up day in and day out hungry to win on your own without having to be fucking motivated or excited or told you won't make it long term dude. You just won't make it. You got to have the fire inside of you And that's it. I don't know how to explain this to you. I try to explain it to them, but you know The statistics back at tube, bro, you know 8% of the people are entrepreneurs now It's like closer to 10 because of the internet but like how many of those people stay in the same thing as an entrepreneur for more than fucking?

12 months right entrepreneurship is not you know running a fucking you know coaching scheme That's not entrepreneurship bro. That's easy money that people make by pretending to be something They aren't you know we're talking about actually building a product that benefits people that has long-term potential We're talking about actually building a product that benefits people that has long-term potential There's not many people that can do that dude and there's not many people that can do it for years and years and years And by the way, there's not many people that want to do it for years and years and years It's fucking hard, bro But there is a segment of people who love that it's that hard and they're fucking insane I don't know what I tell you about my when you tell what I texture

And they're fucking insane. I don't know what I tell you about my when you tell what I texture I'm saying you literally said i'm fucking insane bro Like in every other motherfucker that I know that operates at a high level. They're insane, too They might they might hide it better than me. They might like they might like be really proper, you know But i'm promise you when you get a couple drinks in and you sit down at the fucking table in my cigar lounge, what the fuck do they say? I'm fucking insane. They say the same shit, bro. They're fucking insane.

So are you insane? Probably not. Can you make some money? Yes. Do you have a good grasp of how hard it's gonna be? I don't think so. And so that's why I try to tell people the truth, bro, because like, there's so many people out here telling all these people the wrong shit that

it's going to be easy and you just got to do this and that and this. And you know, it's, you could just be an entrepreneur and fucking kick your feet up and all this bullshit. And dude, what happens is, is that people try and then they fail and then they think well how come everybody else is doing this so easily and then they think it's them when in reality they've been lied to this is the same thing in the fucking weight loss industry. Okay in the weight loss industry there's all these products that have come around for years

and years and years and years and years that say take this and you'll get in shape. Okay. Every motherfucker knows that that's not true. Everyone. All right. But they buy the shit anyway because they're looking for a workaround. They're looking for a hack. They hope that maybe this is the one thing and these companies know that.

Okay. This is the one thing and these companies know that okay, so they know that if they promise someone easy results They will get the money and that the person will actually blame themselves for their lack of results Okay, they're not gonna blame the product because they already knew the product wasn't gonna work And they also knew that they ate like shit while they were taking the product when reality bro It's just fucking hard man. It's boring. It's monotonous It's it's the hardest thing you could ever do for for work And it's not for everybody. So I you know

It frustrates me because I see a lot of really good people who are really good at what they do fail at being an entrepreneur when in reality they should never have been one in the first place. Yeah. If you don't have a high tolerance for pain, bro, and you don't have, now you can build that. Yeah. Okay.

That's the point of living the live hard and 75 hard lifestyle. But if you don't have a high tolerance for literal pain and frustration and you can't be fueled by fucking anger and hate, you're not gonna make it, dude. I'm sorry, you're not. You're not. I love it.

Because that's all you get. All you get is resistance from every fucking direction. All you get. Endless supply. Yes, that's all you get all you get is resistance from every fucking direction all you get I'm in the supply. Yes, that's all you get you get told you're stupid you get told you're gonna lose you get told you You're unrealistic you get told you're materialistic you get told that your priorities are fucked up. You're greedy You forgot where you came from you're not humble Etc etc it goes on and on and on list never stops. And then on top of it, you're going to get hit with bullshit. Okay? You're going to have people steal from you.

You're going to have people scam you. You're going to have problems with regulations and taxes and people fucking sabotaging your business from the inside. You're going to have your competitors do fucked up shit, bro. It never ends. It never fucking ends. And if you can't tolerate that, you cannot win. It's impossible. So you have to be someone who is willing to take all of the

negativity, all of the pain, all of the frustration and swallow it and then turn it into things that actually are productive as opposed to sitting down and pouting or pretending you're some sort of fucking victim. That's the game. The game is pain. You swallow the pain, you turn it into productive action and you win when everybody else sits on the sideline and cries.

That's the fucking game Okay, so let's be fucking honest about it. It's hard as fuck Period if you're not wired for hard as fuck. You shouldn't fucking do it. That's real, man. That's real We got one more question for you. We got another call in here Let's get our guy Christian Christian Christian online. Isn't that what we just had? Kristin. Okay, this is Christian. Yeah, got it. Mm-hmm Let's give him a call Hello Christian, what's up, man?

What is up, man? How you doing? Oh, man, you know, I'm alright. Thank you for asking. I'm gonna write. Thank you. That's cuz no one cares Oh god. Yeah What's up, bro? How you doing man? It's a pleasure to speak with you guys. Yeah, man. What's going on? Where you at? I'm out of Fertland, Maryland Maryland Maryland. All right. All right. That's some good lobster up there. Yeah, man We went to Maryland one time on a lac the cross trip got our fucking asses kicked 27 to fucking 3 by a school a school is called Calvert Hall. I'll never forget it, bro

Oh, yeah, yeah straight up ass beating. Wait, is it one point to score? Yeah, they scored that many goals. Yes Bro, yes, it was It was an ass beating. That's what I think of when I think of Maryland. That's how, and by the way, that was like 25 fucking years ago. You're bringing up some PTSD here. Yeah, serious trauma. So anyway.

How can we help? Yeah. Thanks for bringing up my PTSD, bro. All we got here is blue crabs and that's about it. Yeah. Fucking lacrosse. This is a pretty good lacrosse. Yeah.

All right, brother. So what's up, man? How can we help you today? Yeah, so just some context. Me and a good friend of mine, we started a t-shirt printing company last summer, June, actually while I was doing 75 hard for the first time. And we've kind of grown as the years progressed. And now we're making a big financial jump and we've invested in some big equipment,

you know, like large format printer, just big equipment so we can get into commercial signage and vehicle wraps and stuff like that, like higher ticket stuff. And when I'm at home and you know, I'm away from the office, like sometimes I get this feeling like, dude, you're wasting time like watching a movie with with the family or like, you know, you guys are going to do this and you're just wasting time go home and go work. Like now it's like real like you have a financial investment in the company. Like you need to go work. And it's pretty hard to like be present or like try to calm down at all. Cause all I can do is like visualize what I want the company, you know, like, Oh, I want the branding to be this. And I want the culture to be like this. And it just makes

it really hard if that makes sense. So yeah, it makes a lot of sense. We were just talking about this. I was just talking about this. I was just talking about this before we called you regarding something else. So yeah, it makes a whole lot of sense, bro, but keep going. Yeah. I mean, my main question is like, how do you grow the skill of patience? Cause I know, I know what we, what we want in the business and what it's going to look like in 10 years, but I know it's going to take work and time to get there. But like, how do I not like, like completely break down until we get there? Like with, I just get this burning feeling in my stomach every time I visualize this

stuff. Um, and you know, maybe it's a good thing, but it's hard to just be present and kind of chill out. Well, welcome to being an entrepreneur. Okay, you are a real entrepreneur. You are understanding exactly what I was just talking about, which was this shit is not for everybody. It's very, very difficult. And it takes up, it takes up everything. I'll answer your question here in a second Christian is telling you guys what we just talked about on the show what that really feels Okay, that is what it fucking feels like it is fucking all-encompassing

It is an eggs an anxious feeling in your stomach 24 hours a day You can't really figure out why and you can't get rid of it. All right. And if you can't live that way 24 hours a day for a fucking decade or beyond, dude, you can't do it. It's that that's the truth. So to you, Christian, um, that's exactly normal. So first of all, you're not abnormal for feeling that way. I still feel that way.

I feel that way every single day. Now, how do you get more patience? I had a guitar instructor for about 10 years ago, and he said to me one day, I get pretty frustrated when I'm not good at things and I'm not very good at guitar and he's like lacrosse Other motherfuckers bro shit It would have been 40 to fucking three. Yeah

So I was working off pure intimidation, bro I was hacking these motherfuckers in the ears and shit just trying to get him to stay away They're apparently people are pretty tough in Maryland. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway He said to me he said hey man, he said You're not very patient and I said yes, I'm aware and he said do you know how you develop patience? And I said no and he says by doing things that require Patience and I'm like, huh? No shit and but that stuck with me, right? It was something I remembered. So

We're gonna give you a little hack here. All right You can't just ignore your family while you build your business. Okay Nor do you need to. Now let me give you some, some advice from someone who's been in this for 26 years. I felt exactly like you and I do feel exactly like you. But what I can tell you from looking back is that I didn't have to feel that way the entire time. I have passed on many events. I have passed on many vacations. I have canceled vacations the day before I was supposed to go. Many times I have done all of these things. And the truth of the matter is, bro, I would have ended up here anyway. I would have ended up here anyway. So my advice to you as a young man is to do the best that you can to understand that if you are effective

day in and day out, you can still be present with your family and it will save you regret later. Okay. You don't want to miss these times with your, your family. Uh, and it's very easy for us as entrepreneurs to tell ourselves, you know, Hey, uh, if I, if I, I've got to sacrifice this for this, but dude, you don't want to ruin that part of your life when you don't have to. So, right. Yeah, bro. So Ed, my business partner in Arte and my let, he has a really good method for this and I'm going to share it with you. This is his method, not my method, but what he actually does is he schedules time with his family. And I know that sounds like kind of cold. They don't know that it's scheduled, but he knows it's scheduled. So he actually puts the time in to his phone. Hey, these three hours

are for my family. And he turns his fucking phone off during that time. And, uh, and dude, you know, I don't really have to do that because I don't have kids, but it seems to work for him. And from a lot of the people in Arte, they've started to do the same thing and they all report that that's very helpful. So when we talk about, you know, what it's like to be an entrepreneur, yes, it's very hard. Yes, it takes everything but Just because you're competitive and you want to be in the game more doesn't necessarily mean you won't be where you want to be If you still do other things remember dude one day we're gonna be fucking dead and it's very important for you to

realize that like Yes, it's exciting. Yes, you wanna win. Yes, you've got your ass on the line. I understand all of those things. But also, you don't wanna be alone when you're 70 years old because you fucking punked out on your family right now. You don't have to. You don't have to.

You don't have to. I have a lot of regrets. And one of my regrets is that I missed a lot of things Thinking that I had to when I really didn't have to and I've talked to a lot of entrepreneurs who feel that same way. So Take it from me, you know someone who's been down the path that you're on You know, you don't have to do that bro. Yeah, I could hear it in your voice. You're committed

I can you guys are already making in your voice. You're committed. I can, you guys are already making the financial investments. You're thinking about it nonstop, which means this is not a side project to you. This is a main priority. I can hear it in everything that you said. So you being aware, you being aware of those things and thinking that way gives you a massive advantage over everybody else because what we were just talking about before you called in was basically the idea that everybody thinks that entrepreneurship is just some thing.

They think of it as like they can just do it and it's going to be easy and everybody does it. And I can already tell that you're obsessed and obsession is what the fuck it takes, bro. tell that you're obsessed and obsession is what the fuck it takes bro. So you are going to have to learn and trust that this time with your family is not only important, but it's going to contribute to what you're trying to do because it's going to remind you consistently of why you do it. So, that's my take on it, bro. I think it's very, very important for you to realize that, you know, you're going to get there either way, dude. I can hear it in your voice.

I appreciate that. Yeah. Anything else? Well, I mean, I don't want to take up your guys good we're here for we're here for you bro I just want to say thank you man you know big shout out to Monta Kaufman and Marcus D1 they last year I was 350 pounds and they pushed me to do 75 hard drop like 40 pounds during 75 hard and drop another 20 and my wife just completed 75 hard and I 40 pounds during 75 horror and dropped another 20. And, uh, my wife just completed 75 hard and I have other family members saying they want to do it now. So, um, you know, I always go back to you saying leading by example, like, you know, you'd turn the page and everybody else will kind of start turning with you. And it's true.

Um, so I just want to say thank you for that. No, bro. I mean, that's, that's what it's about. That's what being a leader is about. That's what being a man's about. Um, that's exactly what this country needs is men like you who are going to set an example for other people to follow. And when we talk about personal excellence, being the ultimate rebellion, it's going to come from the individual level. If we want things to change, we have to change.

And if we change other people, see it, they change. And it flows down from there. So that's exactly the point, bro. So don't thank us, man. I'm thanking you. Thank you for taking that obligation serious, because it's going to be men like you that change the entire fucking country. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate what you guys do. the entire fucking country.

Thank you, thank you. I appreciate what you guys do and it's extremely important. So thank you. Did all that shit make sense that we're talking about here on your question? No, it did. Yeah, no, yeah, a hundred percent. I know it's normal. Well, I don't think it's, I mean,

it's not normal between everybody. I know obviously the few people that I do know that are in business share the same feeling but It's just that that's probably the biggest thing I struggle with just it never leaves my head. Yeah, I won't so it never will That's but that's okay. It never will bro. You're never gonna be the same as you were before You're never gonna be mindlessly going through life. And like you're the piece you had in ignorance of entrepreneurship will never return. It will never return. Yeah. You will never be standing by the pond with the wind blowing through your hair being like,

fuck, this is great. You'll know. It'll never be that way again, dude. You're changed. You're different. And maybe after you exit the business one day, maybe that will come back. But once you enter into this game and once you get like a taste for it and you realize it's for you, your life will never be the same, dude. You'll never see things the same. You'll never feel the same. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just completely different. And we as entrepreneurs also have to recognize that all of this shit that we see on the internet, all of these memes, all of these recommendations, all of this advice, all of these rules, all of these things that we are inundated with.

Are not met for us. These are meant for regular people doing regular life. We live by a different code, a different set of rules. And if we consume all of that information and we take it to heart and we try to live at those standards that everybody else tells us that we're supposed to live at, we will go fucking crazy because it's not in line with what the reality of our lives are as entrepreneurs. So keep that in mind because you're going to look out on the internet and you're going to see everybody doing things a certain way. They're going to be judging you for doing something different and it'll drive us crazy dude. If we don't recognize that we have chosen a completely

different path in life. So keep that in mind, dude. Uh, your mental being obsessed the way that you are already. If you don't balance it out with awareness in terms of that, we're just built different and we accept that you're good. It's going to really fucking drive you crazy. So that goes for everybody out there building something like, dude, their rules and your rules are completely different. And it's something that we have to accept. It took me a long time to accept that.

You know, I'm reading all this shit all the time and hearing people talk about this and balance and this and that and this and I'm like, fuck, I can't do that. And then I finally realized there is no there is no balance. Fuck no, bro. It's it's a fucking fallacy, dude. And, you know, trust me, man. All your people and your friends and they can all still be your friends and they can all still you can all still hang out with them But they're never gonna get it there It's never they're never gonna fucking get it and as long as you get it You're gonna be able to keep those relationships as long as you can look at them and say hey, it's cool They just don't get it and just kind of accept it. I take a person. Yeah, right exactly Like that's how I look at it bro, like, you know, I have people

Say things to me still and they're like, oh, you know, and I'm like, yeah, it's cool, they don't fucking get it. Still a good dude, you know what I mean? Just a little bit tardy. Yeah. You know, I didn't say that, but you know what I'm saying? Look, dude, it's just different paths. Yeah.

It's just different paths, man. And that's what we were talking about before you called in, brother, was how the entrepreneurship path has been presented as if it's some sort of easy path to create freedom when reality it's like running the motherfucking gauntlet over and over and over again for your whole life you know and I don't know I I wouldn't change it but it's just not for everybody, you know Now in the in like I'm only 27, so I'm relatively young but like my whole time growing up I was bad social media all the time and and you guys talk about it

But like people just taking pictures with private jets and luxury cars and hey, I do insider stock trading like, you know But they're full of BS, but you know, the regular people out there, me included. I mean, I believe that for a long time, it's like, what am I doing wrong? Like what? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, and so I totally see that bro. These people are full of shit, dude. There are services that allow you to rent cars and rent jets to take pictures for your fucking Instagram. Okay, a lot of these people are financing their cars for 10 fucking years.

Like it's so fake, dude. Look, unless you can order their product, see it on shelves, you know, see a building or some sort of actual organization or they have they got to have the fucking receipts bro and not just like the nice shit. Okay. What where's your employees? Where's your product? Can I order your product? How long you've been doing it? Where do you where's your offices? What you know, like bro, the a lot, most of these people are total fucking liars. So you just gotta keep that in mind.

And by the way, their day will come, okay? The day when their car gets repossessed and they get embarrassed on the internet or they get caught scamming or whatever, man. Like their fucking day will come. And it's irrelevant, it's totally irrelevant. You gotta show up every single day. And like you said, you know, you got to show up,

you got to do everything you can and you still have to have patience for the long game. You know, every single day has to be executed with urgency, with tasks that are critical, that move you forward. And you still have to understand that it's going to take five, 10 years to really get it move in the way you want. So we call that aggressive patience. If you've been listening to the show, you know that. Um, but dude, look, man, don't sacrifice your family for this. Okay. You can, you don't need to. That's, that's the biggest thing I need you to take away like you don't need to make that sacrifice

Schedule that time be present put your phone away The world is not gonna burn the fuck down while you're going to a movie or having dinner or even going on a vacation And the truth of the matter is the reason I know that is because I fucked all that shit up. So Take it from me. I love it. Yeah, well. Thank you guys so much. I appreciate it. All right brother. Thank you, bro Have a good day. Yep, you too. Yeah, man. I think a lot of people fucking you know They think they they think they got a fucking give up everything you don't have to give up everything, bro You just got a you can't coast. You gotta show up every day

and give it everything you fucking got. And part of success is having good relationships and friends. Success is not just a financial thing. You know what I mean? 100%, dude. But it definitely includes finances because there's a lot of people who are like,

well, I'm wealthy. wealthy and no you're not. You got good friends, you got good family, you're poor. Yeah. Right? I'm being honest. That's real. That's a real thing. That's real.

Like this whole fucking thing. That's real, or you can have all the money in the world and have nobody. You can, that's right. There's, and you want, you don't wanna be poor either way. Yeah. But the point of the matter is, I get tired of seeing this shit on the internet where it's like This is the new wealth no fucking those numbers in your bank account or your investment portfolio is your fucking wealth still wealthy

Let's let's not because all that is is people letting themselves off the hook for their financial Misfortunes right the lack of execution. Yeah, like oh, this is the new rich no riches rich motherfucker Like I don't know what the fuck can tell you you know I You know what I'm saying? Feeling good is so rich card-to-client You've been a little emotional. Yes, it all matters, bro.

And you don't get to say, like just like I don't get to say, oh, I've got a lot of success financially, you know, this over here is great too. I'm not, you can't pretend. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like now I'm, but I'm aware of that.

And I do have great relationships and all those things, but I'm not saying I don't, but I'm saying just because you're fucking poor, you don't get to say you're rich, and you know, I'm rich in other ways. Okay, you got some good friends and good family, but your bank account says that you're poor. Let's be honest.

Okay, and by the way, if you would like to live that way and you're happy, there's nothing wrong with that. If you're really happy. Yes, but don't pretend you're happy there's nothing wrong with that if you're really happy Yes, but don't pretend you're happy just so you can sound cool on the internet. I love it. Yeah, I love it man Well guys any that was three man. All right guys See you tomorrow for CTI Sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze fuck a boat a stove Counted millions in the cold, bad bitch, booted swole Got her on bankroll, can't fold, dust her no

Head shot, case closed