REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 92. 4 Ways To Dominate Your Bitch Voice In 2021

Episode Date: December 30, 2020

You're running out of time. Most people wait for the perfect situation or the new year to work towards their goals. Before they know it, they're reflecting on what they could have become if the stars had aligned. On today's episode, Andy shares 4 ways you can beat your bitch voice to ensure you dominate in 2021.

I told my teacher, dumb bitch, I'm going to get millions. Watch this. In a project living. Damn. Spoke it till existence. Voila. Mode changed to 50. What up?

Got more cars than diddy. I only weigh 180, but my watch cost 250. What up? What's up, guys? It's Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today with 2021 being just a few days away and seeing the plethora of comments talking about how you're so glad that 2020 is over

and you're looking on to 2021. Normally, I would totally rip your ass for saying that, but I am in agreement that 2020 sucked. It was probably the best year personally for me. Got in the best shape. Business is doing the best that it's ever been, all my companies. But like I told you guys, I wanted to make sure of that when all this stuff started happening. So I got very intentional about my daily routine and my daily execution habits. Uh, and I've been sharing that with you guys all year.

So I'm not surprised that, you know, this year's turned out good for me personally, and I'm not trying to rub it in anybody's fucking face. Um, but it has been, And I've been trying to get you guys to understand that, you know, with, uh, the world in chaos, it's a great time for you to get intentional and to be intentional about your daily executions so that you can widen the gap between, you know, where you want to be in, where everybody else is. And that's what I've done this year for myself. Um, some of you guys have also done that and it's been really cool to watch. Uh, but some of you guys, you know, you did the same shit you did, you know, last year and the year before that. And the year before that year, the motherfuckers that are posting the meme that

says, you know, 2018 was a training camp. 2019 was a warmup. 2020 was the warmup after the warmup. And 2021 is going to be when I kick ass. Like this is the shit you guys saying, you know, you're full of shit. So let's be real for those of you who, um, actually intend on getting better. Uh, you're sick of your life. You're sick of your life. You're sick of being frustrated. You're sick of being mad about everything. And you say, dude, fuck this. I'm going to do it. That's what we're going to talk about today. I'm going to talk about some things that we can do to make this easier for us to execute. All right. So we're not going to talk about politics. You guys know,

I love to talk about politics. You know, I love my tinfoil hat and all this crazy shit that goes with it. Uh, but today this is going to be about you guys winning. Um, so if you guys read, uh, my book, 75 hard, you know, that I talk about a concept in that book where we have two voices and we have the bitch voice and then we have the boss voice. All right. And those two voices are the voices that basically dictate our actions and our lives up until we start to become aware of the voices. And then we start to actually react in a different way when these voices speak. So real quick, your bitch voice would be the voice that talks you out of doing the shit that is going to bring you closer to where you want to be.

And your boss voice is the voice that is always telling you what you should do. And usually, you know, your bitch voice is trying to talk you out of it. So there's really like a three-party dynamic happening here, right? There's you, and then you have your bitch voice, and then you have your boss voice. You guys might have seen a cartoon, you know, growing up, they had the cartoon where, you know, the little good angels on one shoulder and the devil's on the other shoulder, and then you're in the middle. And that's kind of what the dynamic is here, only it's in your brain. So the first thing is you have to be aware that this exists. Now, for a lot of you guys, just being aware of your bitch voice

and your boss voice is going to make a huge impact on how you react and how you execute. Because once you realize that you're talking yourself out of the things that are actually going to bring benefit into your life, you can stop that real quick. For others, you know, this is a little bit more active. And that's what I want to talk about today. What I really want to talk about is how you can beat the bitch voice in 2021. And I'm going to give you three to six examples of what your bitch voice

sounds like and what the actual reality is of the scenario, because these things are going to happen. There's no way to completely silence your bitch voice. All right. There's no way to only have a boss voice. We all have both. And anybody who says that they don't is full of shit. Okay. So that's the reality. So what does your bitch voice sound like? Right? Well, the first thing that I came up with here that we all have, and I think we'll all relate to when we think about our bitch voices, the little whiny thing. You have plenty of time to get that done. Just wait until later. Or you don't have enough time, right? It's one of the two things. And it has to do with our scarcity of time. Your bitch voice knows that actions are going to produce results. And it can't really stop you from taking action, but it can talk you into

delaying action. And then eventually you run out of time and you're dead and you didn't do anything. All right. This happens to a lot of people. So when you have this bitch voice come up that says to you, you know, Oh dude, what's the hurry here? Why, why, why are you rushing so hard? Why are you taking this so serious? Relax. You got plenty of time. When you start to hear all of these things, the key to overcoming this specific excuse is to clearly stop it immediately and to take action on whatever it is that you're trying to do. Now, I've talked about this for years. It's called a production pivot, all right? You actually learn to train yourself to use your bitch voice

as the trigger for you to actually get up and move, all right? So when you have the bitch voice that says, oh, you know what? We'll just wait until tomorrow. We got plenty of time. You don't need to work out today, All right. That's what it says. That's when you should get up immediately off the couch and then just go walk for 30 minutes or, or you don't have to go out and fucking conquer the world. Guys. We're talking about very slight changes that make a big difference

over time. So if, if you could train your brain to use this as a switch to actually trigger you into action, now you're in a position of power. Now you're in a position of control. And now, even though, you know, you're not conquering the world, right? Maybe you don't have the best workout you ever had. Maybe you, maybe you just go do something that you wouldn't normally have done. What you normally would have done over the course of time, that adds up to a big thing at the end of the year. All right. So that's your first one. The second one, we all have this too. The idea that we're not talented enough, right? Like, oh dude, do you really think you're good enough for that? Like, dude, when I was starting in business, I looked at all these other business

guys and I constantly doubted myself. I constantly told myself in my head that I wasn't good enough or that I wasn't equipped enough. And dude, I wasn't equipped, right? I wasn't good enough at the time. That was the truth. I had to get better. But a lot of people tell themselves these things and it stops them from getting anywhere, okay? Because most successful people that I know, they all understand that this isn't about talent. It's about choices, all right? Your individual small choices over the course of time or what compound into the overall result of success down the road. All right. And this is why it takes time. This is why, you know, all these motherfuckers online telling you that you're going to make a million dollars in 12 weeks or fucking two weeks or whatever the fucking new thing is this week, they're saying, you know, if you buy their course for $997, um, the full shit, it just takes time. You have to have these little things

compound over and over and over. All right. So it's not about talent. Like if you want to be a writer, you're going to fucking suck at first. All right. But how do you get better at things by doing them? I used to have a guitar teacher, very, very smart guy. He told me something that, that stuck with me forever. Um, that I'm very thankful for. And out of all the things that we talked about over the hours and hours and hours, but dude, the hundreds of hours that I've spent with, with this man, the thing that stuck with me the most wasn't, you know, the hundreds of hours that I've spent with, with this man, the thing that stuck with me the most wasn't, you know, the guitar lessons. It was this one little sentence that he said to me and he, and he said, he's right. Um, he's like, Andy, you know, you're not very

patient. Right. And I'm not, I want to get there just like you guys. I want to fucking become Stevie Ray Vaughan and fucking two weeks. Right? Like, and that ain't happening. And I still suck at guitar, but what he said was so very, very powerful for me. And I've, I've carried it into my business life for a long time. And that was this, he said, Andy, you know, you're not very patient. I'm like, well, no shit, Matthew. That's, that's obvious. And he's like, you know what you do to get more patients? And I'm like, no. He's like, you do things that require patience. And I'm like, fuck, that's pretty fucking brilliant shit right there, bro. And it stuck with me. And so this is the same thing when we talk about like what you want to get better at. So many of you guys let your bitch voice talk

you out of doing the thing that you want to be great at because you're not very good at it now. And guess what? You're not going to get any better by not doing it. And so what you have to realize is you have to understand that when you start to doubt yourself, that is also a trigger, a production pivot, like I talked about in the first point, that you're going to take, and then you're going to apply that to whatever it is you want to do. If you want to be fit, when you start saying, Hey, you know, you're, you're not very fit. Well, no shit. What do you think you should do at that time? I don't know. Maybe something that will make you more fit, you know? Oh dude, I don't know if

you know, I don't know if you're smart enough for that. And this is our internal conversation, right? This is the little devil saying, you know, you're not smart enough for that. What should you do at that time? Well, do something that makes you a little smarter in that area, whatever it is. This is not rocket science shit, guys. This is common sense. If you could take the negative momentum and learn to flip it over to positive momentum, what's your life going to look like in two or three years versus what it would look like

in two or three years if you keep going the way you're going, all right? So understand, attack the things that you're bad at. A lot of people will say, you know, the popular thing nowadays is go all in on your strengths and fuck your weaknesses. Well, I'm going to tell you, the truth is you're just not going to get very far doing that because not all of us are naturally gifted with really anything. I know I'm not, I'm not, I've put in fucking work. I've put in decades of work. I've put in years and years of work into everything that you guys look at. And you think that I'm good at or talented at this is not the case. The case is, is that I was fucking horrible. And I put in the fucking time. Cause I. The case is, is that I was fucking horrible and I put in

the fucking time because I didn't give a fuck how embarrassed I was or how horrible I looked to people because I knew where I wanted to go. And that was more important to me than looking stupid. That's the truth. Okay. So the third point, and this kind of goes along with the whole thing, right? When you start out and you're trying to do great shit, you're trying to do big things and you're trying to grow a business or, or, or change your life or, you know, do something, uh, that's very, you know, earth shattering for you and your existence. We got this little bitch voice that comes in and it says, you know, how are you, how are you going to do that? You know,

Andy, how are you going to build one of the most successful supplement companies on earth? You don't have any money. You don't have anybody backing you. You don't have, you know, the expertise needed. You don't have fucking anything. You don't have the connections. That's what I heard, right? Like those are the things I heard in my head. But what are you hearing in your head? You know, you're hearing something along the lines of you don't have the resources you need. But what you guys have to understand is that those, that lack of resources is what's eventually going to make you super successful in everything that you do. Because when you don't have the resources,

all right, you're forced to learn skills. All right. And skills pay the motherfucking bills. You've heard that a million times. All right. So when you, when you want to get good at things and you want to fucking win, you have to be willing to put in the extra blood, sweat, and tears effort to learn and develop skills because you don't have the resources that other people have. All right. And this was a big thing for me coming up in business because I was competing with a lot of people who had investors, right? This is a thing we see in entrepreneurship right now. You know, everybody's talking about how much money they raised. I don't give a fuck how much money you raise. I don't care if you have $10 billion in your bank account, because I'm going to tell you,

if I had raised a billion dollars when I wanted it and I thought that I needed it. And I thought that that was the reason I wasn't doing anything relevant. I would have wasted on dumb shit, but because I didn't have the finances that I needed, I had to get creative. I had to learn skills and I had to create pathways that otherwise weren't there. All right. And then what happens is, is the people who you're competing against, who had the easy way, who had the funding, the rich parents, all the shit that you bitch about not having. Okay. Those people end up not developing the skills. All right. So they don't have the skills because they relied

on the things that you wish you had, that they actually had that you say, man, it's not fucking fair. They have that. No, actually what's not fair is that, that you don't have it and you have to develop these skills. And so when you compete against them 10 years down the road, you have all the fucking skills and a little bit of money going and a little bit of momentum and you can kick their ass no matter how much money they have because they don't have any skills. And that's where you want to be. And then the long-term trick here on that part, the conversation, which is worthy to note, is that when you start to get momentum, how do you trick

yourself into thinking that same way that you thought on day one? That's really the key, man, because, and a lot of you guys ain't there yet. Some of you guys are, but if you get, this is why we see businesses and people who grow companies get to a point where they're selling, you know, they're comfortable, right? They got a big house. They got maybe a couple of cool cars. Uh, maybe they got a lake house or something and their business is going okay. And then all of a sudden in two or three years, they're fucking broke. And you know, you're looking around and you're like, what happened to those guys? What happened to Steve, man? Steve was kicking ass. Steve had the world by the balls, man. He was doing great.

What happened to Steve? Well, what happened to Steve was Steve got lazy and Steve realized that he didn't have to attack. So he thought the day, every single day, like he did on day one or day two or day three, right? So he started to get a little comfort. He started getting, he lost the zero options mentality. Okay. Zero options mentality is the trick that you have to learn once you become somewhat successful so that you continue to be resourceful. You continue to think outside the box and you continue to develop new skills that'll help you in whatever it is that you do. All right. But at the end of the day, not having the resources and that bitch voice in your head telling you, you know, oh, you don't have what it takes. Oh, you don't, you don't have rich parents. You don't have investors. Those guys raised $30 million. You got $3. That,'s shit in your head. That's actually a competitive advantage.

And you need to realize that. Okay. So what do we do then? When we start to hear this doubt or this bitch voice that we don't have the resources, we start looking for ways to get things done, right? Without the resources, because that's where the skills come from. Okay. So this, this, this one will actually bring out the best in you long-term and short-term if you're strong-minded enough to become aware of it. And then also willing to, you know, do the gritty work. That's going to put you in a position to win long-term. All right. Now here's the fourth one. And this is the last one I'm going to cover because this is actually going a lot longer than I wanted it to go. Where are we at? 20 minutes.

20 minutes so far. All right. So the idea, okay, that you need permission. This is something that a lot of you guys struggle with. Okay. A lot of people think that there's some sort of club or there's some sort of like, I call some sort of like i call it a success fairy right i used to think this this is and this is this is for real dude like i used to think there was and i guess it's natural to think this um but i used to think that there was some sort of like chosen one club all right like the universe or the success fairy chose people, certain people. And I used to always think like back when I was younger and very ambitious with nothing to show for it, I used to wonder if I was going to be one of those chosen people.

Like, was I going to be one of the chosen few that the success fairy was going to come and hit on the head with her little, you know, wand. And I would become what it is that, you know, I wanted to become. And that's how I used to think of it. And a lot of people never shake that. They still think that that's how it works. And I'm here to tell you, because I'm, I'm on the other side of that now, after 22, almost 23 years in business, um, that that's just not true. It's just not, there is no secret club. There is no, uh, you know, I mean, well, I said I wasn't going to get any tinfoil hat shit, but all right. In this regard, there's no secret club. Okay.

And there is no success fairy and there is no fucking luck. There is none of this shit that you guys put all your hopes and dreams in thinking that, you know, it might not work out for you. What stops most people is this thought. What if I, what if I do all this work? What if I fucking do all this? What if I changed my whole life? What if I commit myself? What if I do this work for the next 10 years? And then it ends up not working and I don't get chosen and I didn't get tapped on the head. You know, I know lots of people who, who were never became successful that worked really hard. Do you, do you, do you really? Cause I don't think you do. I don't think you actually know

anybody like that. I don't think you know anybody I don't think you actually know anybody like that. I don't think you know anybody like that. I think people are where the fuck they deserve to be. And if you look at what they did over the last 10 years, their life is going to look exactly what it should look like. That's reality. And a lot of you are thinking right now, well, I know fucking Bob.

And yeah, but you don't know Bob does a fucking pound of cocaine every week. You don't know what the fuck is going on behind fucking closed doors. You don't know what destructive behaviors or habits people have. You don't have any, all you know is what the fuck people show you. And I'm telling you right now, I know lots and lots and lots of very successful people in all areas of life. And I don't know one single person that isn't exactly where they should be based upon the time they've put in and the work that they've done. That's the truth. Okay. So to think that you are going to have someone that comes along and basically quote unquote, like chooses you or, you know, approves of you or gives you permission, that's a common

thing that our bitch voice will instill into our brains. Okay. And it's very important that you, that you do not listen to that because it is not true. Now I don't have a, um, you know, a way to get around this one in terms of like, Hey, what, what should you do? Uh, I would, when it comes to this, this particular excuse, when we talk about, you know, your own doubts telling you, uh, you know, well, one day, you know, I got to get to know Gary Vee. Well, fuck man. You know, uh, Gary Vee doesn't make or break you, bro. Um, if you're good enough, Gary v will come find you That's the truth So you need to focus on getting good and not worried about like, you know What all these fucking fake entrepreneurs say on the internet, which is you know

Go to network with so-and-so and slide in their dms and see what you can do to bring that How about this? How about start a fucking business, learn some fucking skills, start becoming good at what you do, offer a great product for a fair price and fucking do what the fuck you got to do. Okay. This, there's no secret to this and there is no club. There is no success fairy. And the only way to keep yourself on the track of what you're trying to do is to make sure that you hold a high standard for yourself without compromising that standard for anybody. This is what we talk about in the 75 hard book, right? We talk about zero deviation. We talk

about zero compromise. The reason these things are important is because the plans that you make must be followed through on. The reason people don't get where they want to go isn't because their fucking plans are terrible. Like a lot of you guys spend in every, and sometimes your plans are terrible, but you know what you do when you make a bad plan? You still execute the plan. You figure out that it's bad and you don't do that same one again.

You add something to it or take something away and then you go at it again. And then if that doesn't produce the result, you add something to it, you take something away. And this is how you learn. It's just most of you guys aren't patient enough and aren't willing to go through this process. You want to buy a fucking program and you want someone to give you some hack that you can make an extra $300 a fucking week so you could buy some cooler fucking tennis shoes

to flex on the internet and look like a fucking clown. That's the truth. So do you want to look like cool this week or do you want to look cool for your whole fucking life? Because that's what we're talking about here. All right. So understand that you don't need permission. You don't need approval. You don't need your fucking aunts and uncles to believe in you. You don't need your parents to

believe in you. You don't need your fucking friends to believe in you. All you motherfuckers going to hit me up and say, Oh, nobody fucking believes in me. Well, you know why nobody believes in you? Cause you haven't done shit. You haven't fucking done anything. What have you done to show people that they should even believe in you? Think about that. It's kind of arrogant to think people should believe in you when you haven't done anything. That's just my own opinion. So guys, these things that I'm going over, if you want to read more about the bitch voice and the boss voice, I will buy the book and it explains it in detail. But these are just some common things that I wanted to bring up to you guys and make you aware of them. Because if you can't become aware of your own internal dialogue and you can't start to have control over your own internal dialogue, and you can't start to tell the

bitch voice that you have in your head to sit the fuck down and shut up. You're going to have a very hard time making any year your year. Okay. So yeah, we're going into 2021. Yeah. I know everybody's hopeful. Yeah. I know everybody's ready for things to go back to normal and this and that and this, and that's what we want. I understand all that, but really the truth is guys, all of that shit is irrelevant to your personal success. It's irrelevant. It might be, it might make it more fun. It might be nicer. It might be more convenient, but at the end of the day, it's, it's irrelevant because what's going to be relevant always, no matter what year it is, no matter what's going on in the world, no matter what obstacles you might have or excuses you may think you have, no matter fucking what, what it's always going to come down to is your own actions

and your own choices and your own thoughts. And so becoming aware when you're talking yourself out of the things you really want for the things that you can have at this moment, the instant gratification aspect, becoming aware of your ability to negotiate with yourself, becoming aware of your ability of how good of a salesman you actually are to yourself. Because dude, you're going to find out how good of a salesman you are. Are you selling yourself on the weak shit or are you selling yourself on the fucking strong shit? See what I'm saying? So you guys have a lot to think about when it comes into, you know,

achieving your goals. But guys, I just wanted to hit you up with some of these thoughts because I do want 2021 to be your year. You know, I do want you guys to win. I know there's a, you know, I'm sarcastic about it a lot of times and I start to, you know, make fun of this shit, but I have to make fun of it. Otherwise it would drive me fucking insane. Drive me insane. You know, this shit that, you know, like the meme I mentioned, you know, 20, 2018 was my fucking warmup.

2019 was my warmup after my warmup. Like, well, fuck, well, when the fuck is when are you going to do this shit, dude? Because today is a pretty good fucking time. Regardless of what's going on in the world. All right. So guys, that's the show. I hope to help you. If you want the 75 hard book, you can just go to andyforsella.com. Uh, it's in the store. Check it out. That's the only place I think that it's available. Now, right. Yup. Yeah. So that's where we do it. Uh, love you guys. Appreciate you guys. And, uh, let's do have a good 2021. Let's do kick ass. Let's do fucking dominate, but let's not make it about 2021. Let's just make it about our fucking lives.