REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 993. Q&AF: Building A New Identity, Work Vs "Me Time" & Progress Paralysis

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to keep winning while managing your past identity, what's the best way to create some personal time when everyone depends on you, and how to overcome the paralysis of taking a step towards building your dream life.

On the flow Now my jury box froze Fuck a pole Fuck a stole Count it millions And I got a on What is up guys It's Andy Fursela

And this is the show For the realists Say goodbye to the lies The fakeness and delusions A lot Guys today we have Q&AF That's where you submit questions

And we give you The answers DJ's gonna tell you How you could submit those questions Hello children Guys email these questions And to ask Andy At Andyforcella.com

Or you guys can Click the link In the description below and submit your questions for a chance to be pulled from there, or comment on the Q&AF videos on the new Andy Friclella Motivation YouTube page. Now, if you're listening to the show on audio, we're going to ask you to please go to the new Andy Purcelli YouTube channel, Andy Purcellar Motivation, and clicks subscribe.

As you guys know, we have separated CTIs and Q&AF, some personal development on YouTube. So go over there and hit that subscribe for us. If this is your first time listening, we have many different shows. We have Q&AF, which is what you're about to hear. We have CTI, which you can catch tonight at 7 p.m. Central live on Twitter X, whatever you want to call it, and YouTube, soon to be coming to all streaming platforms. Then we have what's called Real Talk. Real Talk is just me giving you five to 20 minutes and some real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses.

75 hard verses where somebody who's completed the 75 hard program. comes on the show. They talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use 75 hard to transform their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program in history, and it's free. You can get that entire program at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed only. There's also a book at Andyfrile.com called The Book on Mental toughness. Great book.

We saw a lot of them. If you like the ends and outs and all the nuts and bolts and you know the why behind everything is a great book. Huge group of people starting 75 hard today, actually, which I just found out about. But so if you haven't done it, do it. And then what do we have? Oh, we have a fee. The fee is very simple.

Do us a favor and share the show. I think we're the only podcast in the world doesn't run ads. Nobody's paying me. You're going to get the real shit here. And we just ask very simply help us share it out, help us grow the show. So don't be a ho. Share the show. What's going on over there?

Hopefully we're alive tonight on Monday. We all don't get snowed in until Olivia. Yeah. Listen, we're like the mail. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's happening no matter what. It's no stop.

That's right. That's right. Yeah, big group of, I just found this out, but a really big group of people starting to 75 hard on Monday. Oh, no shit. I'm excited about that. I'll be sick. Yeah.

I'll be sick. Hell yeah, man. Well, yeah. Let's make some people better today, shall we? Yes. What are you guys put out of cold water for me? Thank you. Who did that?

Joe. Joe Gilman? Yeah. Ice cream, Joe. All right. Thank you, brother. Joe. Joe.

No, that's just called being. That's just called being courteous, bro. Yeah. Listen, Joe's the guy Hey, I come in here and shit is ready to go. It's appreciated. I'll take it for granted. So, thanks, Joe.

These questions are hot too. Are they? Oh, yeah. All right, good. Like that? No. Oh, yeah, fuck. What are you drinking over there?

Huh? Oh, you know, a little paradise punch. What are you thinking of that one? It's not an ad, but if it were one, this is the best fucking flavor that I Ever resisted, dude. Ever resist. Man, it's right up there with screaming freedom for me. Dude, it's like, you know, I keep thinking like, okay, like, you know, dude, the OG

lineup came out, right? And I'm like, there's no fucking chance. Yeah. Like, anything can be better. And then it got better. Yeah. And then I'm like, okay, well, like, the new OG flake, like, there's nothing that could be possible.

And then this fucking thing comes out. Yeah. All right. That thing's awesome. And, you know, I, dude, I'm, I'm ready. Yeah. I'm ready. Yeah.

Dude, you know what's crazy. We need to get rid of that blue blitz. that Blue Blitz is not my vibe. And we need to replace it with that full time. That's my time. Yeah. I know this, dude. I let that orange sit the other day on accident.

I wasn't drinking it fast enough. And so like the carbonation loss. Yeah. It was still fucking delicious. Oh yeah. Like it tasted like fucking OJ. You know what I'm saying? Like some nice juice.

Yeah. It's a tang. Yeah, bro. I don't know a little some sum sum. That's some poor people's shit right there, everybody. It tasted like orange drink. Yeah. Orange drink.

Yeah, man. Well, guys, let's make some people better today. Guys, you guys know how this goes. I got three. We're ready to roll. You got three what? Three good ones for you, right?

All right. With all the meat. That's right. And potatoes. Open up. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, no, no.

Andy, I'm doing things now that the old version of me wouldn't even attempt. Better habits, harder conversations, bigger goals, but internally, I still feel like the same person. How long does it take before your identity actually catches up to the life you're building? And is there anything you can do to speed it up?

Huh. All right, look, first of all, why? Okay. Consider this. The reason you're moving so good is because you remember what it's like to be the old you. That's not a bad thing. When people fail in life, whether it's a business or whether it's their personal development or whether it's their fitness, they fail because they forget what life was like before. All right, we see this all the time in business. People make money.

They get in a comfortable spot and then all of a sudden they're broke. All right. So the reason this happens is because their identity changes from someone who is being a hard worker, who is thinking, who is solving problems, who is innovating, who's pushing themselves down the path to this place where they start to take it for granted and they assume that it's always going to be there, which it will not. And the most common types of people that lose are not actually people that just never try. It's actually people who won once. And they win once and they attach their identity to that win.

And then they lose all of the habits and all of the work and all of the discipline and everything over the course of time because they identify with that win. People who win long term, people who win over the course of their life over and over and over and over again, they never forget who the fuck they actually are. Okay. So it's this nuance that you have to learn to master, which is being grateful for where you're at, being grateful that things are going good, but also remembering that things are not going good because you're you or you're gifted. Things are going good because the old you was willing to do things that produce the current reality that you live in.

And when you lose sight of this and you lose the perspective that the current reality that you live in was built by someone who used to exist, you want to keep the motherfucker that created all this shit moving. Okay? Does this make sense? Yeah, it does. All right? So a lot of people completely fuck their entire lives up by thinking that their success is

the result of them when in reality it's not the result of them it's the result of the actions that the previous version of them have taken which have produced this reality okay so now you're in a reality of comfort you've got some money in the bank you're you're pretty fit things are going well and then you stop you stop doing the things that hungry person did you stop doing the things that fat person did to get in shape you stop doing the things that fat person did to get in shape you stop doing the broke person did to fix that problem. And then what happens? The problems start to happen again. Okay. And slowly and surely you go back down to who you used to be in reality, not just in your mind. So when we think about this, what is this problem, right? This is actually an ego problem.

Okay. And when we talk about being humble, this is where humility is applicable. We have to understand and detach our results from our identity and understand that our results come from the actions. So what most people do is they go through this situation of life where like if you imagine a bell curve for those of you who are listening on audio and you start on the left hand side of the curve and you don't know shit. You don't know anything. You are very willing to learn. You are hungry.

you are a sponge. You're willing to do things that other people won't do. You are willing to work harder. You're willing to work smarter. You're willing to pour into yourself because, dude, you're a blank slate and you know you're a blank slate. So what happens is you start to move up the curve and things are going good. And you're continuing these habits because they're still fresh for you. And you're like, fuck yeah, this is working.

This is going good. And what happens is you get to the top, which you perceive as a top, which is not actually the top. you get to the top of this curve. And what happens for most people is they start to believe that the reason that they are at that curve is because they are great. No, you're not great. None of us are actually great. We're the result of great actions over the course of time. And so when your identity actually switches from, you know, you're this hungry individual who does no shit to, I'm great because I breathe the air and I walk, you know, I'm the fucking man.

What happens is you start losing the perspective of what it took to get where you are and you stop doing those things and then you slide down the back side of the curve, okay? And you don't notice it at first. At first it's just a cut corner. At first it's just a, you know, a missed workout. A missed workout or, you know, a missed meeting or something like that, right? And then before you know it, your life's falling apart and you can't figure out why. And then you find yourself back at ground zero, which people at this, now what people call this part, is it's no longer ground zero. It's rock bottom.

Okay. So now you're back, you're at quote unquote rock bottom. And you have to start again. So you get hammered so hard that you humble yourself. And then you're like, okay, well, fuck, I got to get back to this. And then what happens? The process repeats. And you start to go up the curve.

And for most people, they make the same mistake again. when things start getting good. They get comfortable and then they go down the curve. So most people live in this series of curves, okay? Up, down, up, down. And the goal is for you when you get to the top of that first curve, when everything is going good, you're making some money, you're fit, you're kicking ass. You are the fucking man.

But you have to remember that the reason that you're there is because of the actions that you took. And if you continue to take those actions when you're at the top, that's where you continue to escalate. and the mountain actually never ends. You just keep going up and up and up and up and up. And so this is the difference between people who win consistently and continue to level up and people who kind of like live this up and down, you know, lifestyle, whether, and this can apply to any area of your life.

And it should apply to all areas of your life, right? Because success isn't just money. Money is very important. But it's a bunch of different shit. So it's such an interesting thing, man. And it's fun. Like now hindsight, I've, you've, I've. I've heard you say this many times and I never really understood it, but you're like,

dude, I'm still a lazy dude. I'm still a fucking- Exactly. But like that makes it, man. I think the thing too is like, dude, I can understand why a lot of people get in that because for a lot of people, they're probably afraid of that old version of them. They want to get so fucking far away from it. You should be afraid of it. Yeah.

That's what should push you down the road. But they forget. You should, like I, dude, I know. Like I know that 350 pound fat, lazy, motherfucker that I used to be is still in there. He's still in there, man. He's just fucking waiting. He's waiting for his time.

He's waiting for his opportunity to come out. I'm aware of that because I'm old enough to have gone up and down that curve. Okay. So at 36 years old, I decided, hey, I'm fucking not doing this shit no more. And I'm just going to stay on the gas. And you know what's happened? Everything I just told you. I continue to go up, up, up, up.

And even, you know, my buddies who are successful, they're like, fuck, dude, all you do is win. Yeah, because I behave like a broke person all the fucking time. And, you know, people get around me and they're like, why is he so urgent? Why does he get so fucking intense? What is his deal? Why doesn't he do this or that? Why doesn't he just relax? Because, bro, I know what fucking happens when you do because I know who the fuck I am on the inside.

And I know my propensity, just like most people, is. to be lazy as fuck, to waste my time, to not be productive, to not train. And I don't want that. So I keep it very, very close. And I let my identity be nuanced, okay? Like if we're having a real conversation and they say, okay, you know, like, how do you feel about things? Fuck, dude, I feel good. I'm pretty much the fucking dude.

Okay. I've done a lot of shit. Built a lot of companies, built a bunch of podcasts, two number one podcasts. fucking biggest mental transformation program. I've done a lot of shit, okay? But when I show up every day, I act like it's day one. Like all my goal is is to win the fucking day. Okay.

So, you know, I know what I am and I'm okay with that. And I'm aware of that. And I don't try to hide that. And I let that drive me down the path. And so when you say like when this person says, well, when does my identity catch up, you really don't want it to, if that makes sense. Okay, you want to get to a point where you understand that the actions produce the result and you are, you are feeling good and proud and confident and you developed, you know,

the grit and the fortitude and the mental toughness to push through. But you also understand that those things have to be applied every single day to maintain or escalate from that point. Yeah. Because I told you is still there. It always is. It always is. Yeah.

Oh, dude. I love it, man. I love it. I love it. Let's get to, let's get to question number two. This is why people that gain weight and lose weight go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

Because they're not solving the real problem, bro. This is why 75 hard and live hard is such a big deal. Everybody tries to make it about your weight and your body fat percentage and your training and all this shit. When in reality, dude, it's training. your brain. It's getting your brain conditioned to be highly disciplined to be able to adhere to a plan all the time, not just when you feel good. Right. And when you switch that, when you switch your understanding that everything comes from your mental toughness, your ability to succeed in life,

every fucking area. And it becomes a mental game. It's just, it's just, it changes your life. And Anybody who's done 75 hard knows this. This is why people who do 75 hard and live the live hard lifestyle continue to escalate up if they're doing it correctly. 100% dude. I love it, man. Guys, Andy, question number two. All right, Andy. Andy, I'm the person everyone counts on at work, at home, and my family.

If something needs to get handled, it usually falls on me. I chose this life and I'm proud of that. But some days, I'm exhausted. And I feel like there's no space. left for what I want. How do you keep pushing to win without resenting the very life you worked so hard to build? I don't want to be selfish, but it's like, okay, guys, you guys are good, yes, okay, it's my turn now. How do you balance the, I guess getting to that point of, you talk about it in selfishness and

selflessness, right? Yeah. Where does that cross? Well, you know, look, dude, success comes with real responsibility. Okay. And when you start to win and you start to do things, other people around you become dependent on you and you become responsible for their outcomes in certain situations. And you have to understand that there's no world where anybody's built anything significant, especially significant wealth, where the responsibility isn't much greater when they have it than it was before. So this is a reality of becoming successful. Like this is just part of it. other people are going to depend on you.

You are going to be responsible for other people. And if you're not, you won't be able to get where you want to go. It's impossible because it takes more than just you. So you have to understand that the reason you are in the life that you have is because you've handled shit so well for so long. Now, I can understand what you're saying because I've struggled with this as well. And I still struggle with this. okay there's a reason that i don't travel all over to place there's a reason that i'm not at every

fucking you know big event and yes i like to work and i like to create and i like to build and i prefer that over doing all that other shit but yeah it'd be cool to be able to do some other stuff and i could do those other things and the reality of doing those things is as simple as you understanding that having time for yourself is a matter of being effective or ineffective. And if you have a company and you're making money and things are going well and you still don't have time for yourself and you still don't have the ability to live a life, you're not running your shit right. You're running your shit inefficiently.

Okay. And this is why the, what I talk about the 24 hour game and the power. list is so important because when and by the way you can get the powerless podcast for free it's called win the day episode 16 on real a f you want to go listen to that it'll give you the the the play to run but the whole thing is is like dude you can only do so much in a day so once you do your five five critical tasks in a day you the rest of your day is free for you to live your life. That's the whole idea of the powerless system,

which by the way, all these other motherfuckers are trying to steal now and pretend like it's there. Core 5 or whatever to fuck they call it. Look, dude, I've been running this system for damn near 30 years. Okay, it fucking works. And the reason I created the system

was because I understood very simply that I needed to enjoy the process along the way. So the whole point, and by the way, if you're in operator standard, if you're in the Operator Standard app, you understand, you're starting to understand this very well. We're playing a 24-hour game, and there's only so many things that you can get done in a day. And as an entrepreneur, there's going to be a list a mile long whenever you choose to address it.

It's going to be there. Tomorrow, it's going to be there. The next day, the list never gets shorter. So you have to decide what a win is. For me, a win is very simple. Five critical tasks a day. Those do not include my to-dos. are critical tasks that move my business forward, my goals forward.

Once those things are done, the rest of the day is mine to do with whatever I want. Now, I choose usually to like continue to work. Yeah, reinvest that time back. But when I was, yeah, because, because dude, I like being here and I like being around the guys. And I like doing the, the things, right? But when I was younger, you know, this is even when we were building the business. Like I would do the five critical tasks. If I got done by noon, bro, I'd fucking leave.

I'd go fucking do whatever I want. Drive my car or, you know, fucking whatever. So you have to come up with a way for you to enjoy your life as you go down the process. Because here's the thing, dude, this place that you're trying to get to where you're like, when is it going to be my time? If you don't adjust how you see your day, it'll never be your time. There will always be a list. There will always be shit to do.

There's always going to be problems. There's always going to be people. And you have to understand that true happiness is not this destination that you're trying to get to. Enjoying your life is not this destination. Enjoying your life is something that you do on a daily basis. Right. So this idea and a lot of people have this, especially when it comes to winning and making money and shit or running a business. You know, once I get here, everything will be great.

But dude, you're never going to get there. And I'm not saying you won't get to your goals, but when you get to your goals, you're going to have new goals because that's what fucking winners do. So if you're constantly stacking new shit on new shit on new shit on new shit, you tell me when you're going to live your life. The answer is fucking never. And by the way, your business should be built in a way where you enjoy it. I was about saying, you like the people.

Yeah, you like the people you work with. Like, dude, I love coming here every day. Honestly, dude, like, I could be in the worst mood ever in the morning. And once I walk in here, I fucking love being here. This is, this is, you should build your business understanding that you are going to spend a lot, most of your time there. So you want to work with people that you like. You want to do things that you think are cool. You want to build things that you enjoy building.

You want to create things that you're proud of. These are important things to being happy long term. And because money's not going to be the only thing that does it. Now, I can promise you this, you're never going to be happy with no money. Right? Like all your friends are going to say stupid shit. Like, oh, you're going to live your life. Well, how are they living their life?

Oh, they're living it in the fucking basement playing Call of Duty or they're living in a bar stool. That's not living a life, bro. So, you know, you've got to reframe how you think about it. And you've got to reorganize your effectiveness and make sure that you're looking at your life on a 24-hour basis. and just stacking wins win win win win win and part of those wins every day is being effective enough to have a fucking life okay like dude really um if you're in a place right now where you're like oh this is consuming me and i'm working 17 hours a day like dude yeah that sometimes you have to do that stuff sometimes it lasts for a couple years when they're two three years especially when you're

starting but the reality is is that you have to build a life and a business that you enjoy because that does become your life right yeah absolutely dude I love it yeah I love it dude I thought there's a tough thing it is it's a nuanced thing yeah it is it's a it's a fucking there's nuance to everything in business and life and performance um but it's you know if you're a driven person okay here here's a thing here's the thing If you're a driven person, like I said, you're going to get 90% to where you want to go and then you're going to have a new set of goals. It's going to be grow the business bigger.

It's going to be do this thing. And that's the only way to win long term is to continue to reset the bar. Okay. Because if you become one of these people that just gets to the point and they say, oh, I got it. Now you're like we talked about in the first question. Okay. Because here's what you don't understand.

And a lot of people fail to understand this. Everybody else is continuously moving forward. They're innovating. They're pushing. They're working. They're trying. So the market is always shifting forward. Okay.

Advancements are always happening. The minute you say, oh, I'm good, man. I got my, you know, $500,000 house at the lake, and I got a BMW and, you know, I got a bass boat or whatever to fuck you're into. Listen, you're going to get killed because you're going to stop right where you are and everybody else is going to pass you by. And this is how the game works. So the only way to win long term is to be like the first guy who's always stacking on top, expanding, new, innovative, pushing harder, getting bigger, scaling out, which means more responsibility, which means

the place you're trying to get to is mythical. It doesn't actually exist. It exists every single day. And you have to be aware of that. Once you're aware of that, you're aware of that, you're life perspective changes and it becomes you know like because people are always asking me you're like well dude how do you balance work in life it is my life like it's just my life you know like it's that's that doesn't mean that work is my life or life is my life it means it's all one thing yeah you know what I mean it's also a day-to-day thing like you said man like yeah it's gonna be some days where yeah I did I did I had great balance today yeah it'll be some days we're like that fucking scales tip to the other side yeah it just is what it is yeah let's try to get tomorrow

Listen, dude, the balance is a macro balance. It's not, it's not microbalance. You know, people, people misunderstand. Like, they think they got to have a certain amount of time every day. Like, you know, at 4 o'clock, I got to walk out the door because that's this time. Well, if that's the life you want, you shouldn't be an entrepreneur. That's not reality. That's never going to happen.

And you're never going to win in that situation. It's not going to work. You should be an employee that gets a job. job and comes in and goes home and is happy with staying exactly where you are okay because there's three kinds of people there's the people who come in and you know they they do their job and they get paid and then they go home then there's the people that come in and they progress they improve their skill set they do more than to ask they anticipate needs they contribute to the winning those people move up and then there's the people who create from the ground

the ground zero, which is an entrepreneur. All three are needed. All three of those things are needed and value. You have to decide which one you want to be, but you don't get the benefits of being an employee and the winnings of being an entrepreneur. It doesn't fucking work like that. So you've got to understand, dude, what you're signing up for.

You know, you're signing up for a different kind of life. You're signing up to play a different game. And all this shit that you see online and all these posts and all this fucking nonsense, that's for other people, dude. That's not for you. It's not applicable. It's not.

I love it. Yeah. That's real, man. We got one more question for you, Andy. You got, guys, Andy question number three. Andy, my question to you is, I've been a general manager for a restaurant for three and a half years now. I started in the restaurant industry eight years ago,

and I've worked my way from a line cook to the position I'm in now. I'm only 25 years old, the restaurant I'm running now from a $1.3 million operation to a $2.3 million operation in three and a half years. I mean this with respect to the owner, but he is more of an investor. I am the day in, day out running the operation, no exaggerations. I know I'm young, but I have this calling of being great. I mean that with 100% confidence, I know I can run a restaurant and make it successful. My goal is to start my own restaurant due to the fact that my boss does not believe in raises.

I've not received one in three and a half years, even with the growth of the company we're in. We are about to open up our second location. There's still no talks of more compensation. I'm in the position where I know I could be successful in doing my own thing, but I have paralysis that's keeping me from doing it. I'm not scared to fail. I'm sure there will be some failures in my future, but one thing is I won't quit. What advice would you give to a 25-year-old who has a wife and a newborn baby to get out of that paralysis and kick open the door and start their own thing and become one of the great business entrepreneurs in this country? It's very simple.

What's your life going to look like if you don't do it? If you stay right where you are and this dude pays you right where he pays you, which you clearly said he was going to and you stay five more years there, what's your life going to look like. Very simple. You already know the answer. Okay. And by the way, if you are who you say you are and you are one of these people that's called to be great, and you are one of these people that has always known, like I'm meant for something more, I'm supposed to be winning, I'm supposed to be doing this.

And you feel that on the inside because no one's going to come tell you that. Like, that's a calling. How much money would it have for him to pay you? How much money would he have to pay you for you to? give up on that. He couldn't even fucking afford it, bro. Okay? Like if he came and said, hey, there's a million bucks a year and you truly have what you say you have, it wouldn't be enough. Not enough. Okay. So you're not, this isn't even about the money. This is about what the fuck you're going to do with your life. And yeah, clearly you do know how to run a restaurant,

but running a restaurant isn't the end all be all. Can you create a brand out of the restaurant? Can you create a place where it provides the financial outcome that you actually want to provide? Are you like managing something and starting something from scratch are two different fucking things. Okay. You have a great perspective because you've grown up. You went through the line cook. You learned all the jobs. Now you're managing.

Huge deal. Still not the same thing. Still not the same thing as putting your balls on the line. and fucking writing checks, not knowing if you're going to be able to pay them. Okay. It's not the same thing, dude. At the end of the day, that guy who you say is an investor, his ass is on the line. Yours isn't.

All right. And that's why those people make the most money because they can handle the uncertainty. And most people can't. What most people don't understand is that they're living in a situation of uncertainty anyway. Because what if the restaurant fucking tanks? Yeah. What if something happens? What if someone finds a mouse head in the fucking steak and it makes the news?

Yeah, right. Okay? Like, you're like one fucking thing away from being unemployed. You just don't understand that. So how I would look at this if I were you is what's my life going to look like if I don't do this, okay? Because if you are truly called to become what you say you want to become, which is one of the greatest entrepreneurs, and I'm assuming restaurant doors, you can't do that where you're at. And every day that you fucking stay there is a day

that you're not going to get to live that out. So you've got to be real about what you're trying to trade. And I understand, yeah, it's fucking scary. But you know what the game is? You know what the game is? The game is fucking jump and figure it the fuck out. That's the entrepreneur game. Okay, and not everybody's built for it, dude.

There's a lot of great managers. There's a lot of great managers. that cannot do that part of it. They cannot fucking do it. It is a different, I was actually just getting my haircut and I was thinking about this. And dude, I was thinking like,

like I'd just be honest exactly what I thought. Exactly what I thought was if people actually knew what goes on in my head in a daily basis, they would never be an entrepreneur. No, no, they'd be in therapy somewhere. Yeah, for real.

Because like legit, I'm sitting here and I'm thinking about the new arcane tech, then I'm thinking about first form, then I'm thinking about S2, then I'm thinking about cannabis, then I'm thinking about tequila, then I'm thinking about fucking the show, then I'm thinking,

and these thoughts are all fucking like trying to organize themselves in my brain and my fucking head is hurting, like legit, I'm sitting in the chair, I'm like, I got a fucking headache. And then I thought, well, fuck, I think everybody's head would fucking ache if they had all this shit going on at one time. Okay?

And it's just not for most people. It's just not because it consumes you, dude. And then like on top of it, try to have a normal relationship. It's almost fucking impossible because here's the thing, dude. I'm always there. I'm always there. I'm always there. My brain is always, it's so hypervigilant to solving problems that when there aren't problems, guess what?

a problem. I try to find a fucking problem. That's right. Okay. So my, so your mind becomes so conditioned to, to executing and solving problems that it's almost impossible to be at peace. Because even when you're, everything is calm and everything is going okay, you're still in this place of like, all right, something's going to happen. I got to fuck it. What's going to happen? I'm going to anticipate because true entrepreneurs are anticipating needs. They're not. reacting they're anticipating so when I'm sitting on the beach somewhere doing normal rich guy shit you know what's going through my head all right this could

happen here's how we protect against this this could happen here's how we do this and I'm doing that for fucking all these different things at once and do it sounds it sounds insane to people like right guys are about start playing on it that's not a problem yeah you guys know you guys fucking know these dudes will get dude we're these dudes will get texts in the middle of fucking night they have nothing to do with fucking anything that we talked about. Sounds insane. And we're like, hey, we got to do this and this and this.

And you guys here, the podcast team will be like, I know you're thinking it. You don't say it. But like, what the fuck? You know? Like, it sounds insane to the average person. It sounds insane to my own fucking team. Yeah. But like, bro, I'm looking way down the pipe.

I'm looking way down the pipe. I'm looking, all right. Here's where things are going. Here's where we got to be positioned. This is what needs to happen. And when that's going on on multiple projects, Bro, your brain doesn't have the capacity to process other kinds of information. And luckily, God bless me with a pretty good fucking brain.

You know what I'm saying? Like, so I think, you know, for most people like, dude, that's a miserable life. It's miserable. But for the people who are built for it, that's all they fucking want. That's all they want. Okay? Like when I, when I sit down and, you know, Dana and I talk, right? Or I talk with fucking Hermosie or any of my buddies who are hyper successful.

Ed Milet. we're we're all we're all like that we're like dude when you sit down like you sit down and have a cigar with ed you might sit there and fucking silence and that's the cool that is a cool thing like when you're other around around other high achieving people you could sit there in like super fucking silence for an hour just thinking and then you know Alex will say something like have you ever thought of this or what about that right and like it's just it's it's a it's just a different kind of dude, bro, or a woman. It's just a different person.

And for most people, they can't fucking handle that, dude. And that's not me saying, beating my chest, saying, oh, I have this. No, that's just what I'm built to do. Not everybody's built for it, bro. And that's one of the biggest problems with entrepreneurship. And I don't want to discourage people by saying this. But you have to be built for fucking war, bro. You have to be built for it.

You know, and I hate to use the example because, like, I don't want to disrespect, like, actual warriors. But your mindset's the same. Okay. I'm thinking of all my people. And I'm thinking of like, because at this point, dude, it's really not about me anymore.

Okay? It's about my fucking people. Yeah. I'm thinking of all the things. And I'm like, okay, I got to protect. It's just like being, it being, a battlefield,

yeah, you know, I've never been on one, but I imagine this is what it's like. Yeah. Okay, here's what could happen. This is what could, all right, I need you guys to move over here

because they're going to fucking hit here. And if you don't move, You're going to get fucking killed. And that's the same concept in business. You're moving chess pieces to win this game. And, you know, most people look at that and they say, well, that's no way to live your life. But, like, dude, you know, and you've been there when I've been talking to Dana. You know what fucking Dana says?

I fucking love it. I love this shit. With a smile. Right. And, dude, they do love it. And I love it. But, like, most of you would be fucking miserable. And I don't mean that out of deal.

disrespect, I just mean that as a fact. Like you just, it's not for you. Pick one thing, be good at it, make some money. Keep moving down the pipe. Don't do 500 things. Do the one, you know, like, there's levels to entrepreneurs, bro. Like there's, there's like inside. Okay. So it's, it's, it's basically eight percent of the population's actual entrepreneurs and less than one percent are actually successful and inside that less than 1% there's like levels in that 1% okay and like the true fucking killers like these mother all they want to do is fucking hunt bro that's all they fucking want to do they're built for it they're built for conquering they're built for building like bro if i was if i was in the fucking you know uh the the the the the 1200 year you know if i was living in

the year 1200 bro i'd be conquering fucking world you know what I'm saying like I'd be I'd be riding in on horses and we'd be killing motherfuckers and it would be straight up uh conquering because that's what I'm fucking built to do I get to do it in business which is great and safe yeah yeah yeah not always not always you know not always not always bro you get you get in there you get into big money shit and you start fucking with people they they don't they don't uh like this is another thing. Like, when you get into big money

and there's big money on the line, people do all kinds of fucked up shit, bro. They'll hire people to go get a job at your company and try to corporate espionage. They'll try to sabotage you. They'll try to fuck with you. They'll threaten you. Like, it's a different world, bro.

It's like fucking old school gangster shit, and you got to be a real fucking gangster to deal with it. That's real. And you know that. Yeah, bro. Listen, I did it. You know, and I don't say that to discourage people because you can condition yourself but it's all about

what the fuck you actually want like what the fuck do you want right do you do you do you like you have to be real about what you want and nobody really ever asked themselves what do I really want they see the car they see the house they see the they see the fucking garage they see the the private travel they see the hobnobbing with other people and they say fuck I want that but they want that they don't want the fucking shit that comes with it it, right? Because there's 20 years of backstory for these dudes, all of them, 20, 30 years of just eating fucking shit to get to that point. And like, dude, that's not for everybody, man. It's just not. But it's achievable for everybody. That's the thing. You can do it. Do you

want to do it is the question. So like to this guy who's saying, I want to be one of the greatest ever bro you're going to trade a lot for that there's a lot um the greatest restaurant doors in the world they're they're no different than Dana white in their world right they run their fucking world Dana said something to me dude he when we were talking about Trump one time he's like you know how you run you run your world right and I'm like yeah and he goes I run my world he goes Donald Trump runs the world so but there's levels yeah okay So like, like you can criticize Trump all you want. And that's why like I get a good read on what's going on with the dude.

Because I understand the level of where the fuck he is. That dude's a straight up fucking warrior, bro. You can't get where he got without being that way. It's required. It's dude. It's a different kind of dude. And it's just not something that most people can fucking do. No.

And not because they can't do it. They can't survive the process of doing it. They'll fucking go. crazy. So I believe that you could become who you want to become. And I believe that you think you want to be great. But you have to ask yourself, are you willing to pay the price of greatness? Because that is the most important question. I want to do one little final follow up on this for you. I know we're running out of time. But I want to ask you this because the money aspect, they're not getting the raise aspect that he mentioned. Right. Okay, cool. Like, and again, what if you

don't do it, you stay there. How realistic do we need to be? Like, he's not about to start this entrepreneur path. Okay, it's very simple. It makes some money either. Very simple. You know what I'm saying? Very simple.

You work in, okay, I work two, three other jobs the first 10 years I was in business. I worked those jobs to support myself so the business could stay open. This is the part nobody talks about. So if you're going through an adjustment of working for someone, else but then starting your own thing you got to minimize your life you got to get rid of that nice car you got to get a piece of shit you got to get rid of that nice condo or that nice house and go live in a shithole okay you got to downsize your life to where you can just function then when you're to that place you're working towards the thing and then when the thing starts to pay a little

bit of money and you can survive over there like you start a restaurant things start going well you're able to start making a little bit of money, when you're able to replace the income that comes from, that you are doing the other jobs of support, that's when you make the full jump. Yeah. Okay. Not a moment before. No, no. But most people aren't willing to take that step backwards because it's a little embarrassing.

Yeah. Right. So that's where the hang up is for most people. Most people don't want to go from driving a, you know, a fucking Tahoe or a Denali to driving a fucking 1987 beater. Yeah, Ford Ranger. Right, exactly. People don't want to do that.

And that ends up costing them their entire lives. Like, that's fucking crazy. That's part of that process. For sure. That's fucking crazy. And by the way, I just want to hit on this too. And this goes for everybody who's an entrepreneur or an employee. No one's giving you a fucking race.

Like, that doesn't, that's not what happens, bro. Like, very few companies will proactively come and say, hey, here's the fucking race. Your job is, you understand. like you work for you okay now you might be part of a team but you're bringing something unique to the team what's that worth you have to start thinking of it as like the operator thinks of it what is my value here and if your value's not really strong you got to build value if your value is strong and you're not getting the recognition then you have to be very tactful and say okay here's what i do this is what i believe it's worth and you have to go have a conversation and say

With the fucking facts, by the way, not bullshit. Here's the facts. I do this, I do this, I do this, I do this. I think it's worth this. I'm currently getting paid that. I would like to have a talk with you about this. That's where the conversation starts. And a lot of people ride away in what would otherwise be great careers

because they're afraid to have a conversation like that. You know how many people quit their fucking jobs because they're like, oh, I'm not getting paid enough? Well, did you fucking ask you to get paid more? They've ever had a meeting. Did you display your value? Are you being honest with yourself about your value? Right?

Like, dude, and then what happens is these people quit and they go somewhere else and they have the same habit. They think that everybody's going to just reward them. And part of being successful is, like everybody likes to say, oh, I feel can know my worth. The motherfuckers that say that don't have no worth. They just don't. Your job should be to be. be so fucking good, so good, so good that the company couldn't operate without you. And when you can get to that point, you can write your own fucking check.

And that's the way you should think about it as an entrepreneur or as an employee. If you just consistently get frustrated because you're not making enough money and go from thing to thing to thing to thing to thing, you're no different than the entrepreneur that quits over after two years. And they end up wasting their whole lives in seven different fucking businesses that never work. All right. So part of maturity and part of like, and by the way, a lot of people are full of shit.

Okay. A lot of people will come in and they'll say, I'm so worth this. And that doesn't mean anything, dude. That doesn't just because you feel like you're supposed to make more money doesn't mean you're worth more money. Okay. You have to come with the facts. You have to show your worth.

And it's your job, not the employer's job, to come. compile that and display that worth. And an ideal situation, you work for a good ethical company, they will recognize your value beforehand. But that's not most places. Most places you're going to have to go and you're going to have to say, hey, boss, here's what I do. This is what I've done.

These are the things that I handle. This is how good it gets done. Do you agree that it gets done well? Yes, I agree. Well, here's what I'd like to be paid. And that's a normal conversation that allows. of young people just fucking won't ever have. That's a grown-up adult conversation.

That's it, dude. You should never be embarrassed to talk about money. You should never be embarrassed to talk about money. That is a fucking real thing. Okay. And so many young people will ruin their lives because they cannot have a conversation about fucking money. It's a normal thing, but it's on you.

And if you aren't willing to put those things together and display it in a way that makes sense or actually be valuable, you're going to fucking rot. That's the reality, dude. So you have to be undeniably great. You have to display that you're undeniably great. If a good company, you work for a good company and I say, fuck, I love that guy. We got to fucking keep them. But not every place is like that.

So it's on you to market yourself. You see what I'm saying? Absolutely. This guy's situation. You got something scratching on the inside of you. Oh, it doesn't matter. For that guy, if for this dude particular, I was just a. dressing everybody. Yeah, yeah, no, for sure.

For this guy in particular, if that's true what you say, and it's true, you need to leave that fucking job and figure it the fuck out because you will fucking ruin your life. I love it, man. I love it, dude. Guys, Andy, that was three. All right, guys. We'll see you tonight. 7 p.m. Central. Don't be a ho. Show the show. A cold bad bitch booted swow got a on bank row can't fold just a no headshot case closed