REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 996. Q&AF Ft. Tim Grover: Success After Failures, Handling The Pressure Of Winning & "Working Hard" Vs Results

Episode Date: February 2, 2026

On today's episode, Andy and DJ are joined by Tim Grover. They answer your questions on how to approach success after a big failure, how to manage the pressure of high performance when others expect you to win, and what to do when long-term "hard work" hasn't produced desired results.

On the flow Now my jury box froze Fuck a pole Fuck a stole Count it millions In a hole got a on What is up guys It's Andy Fersela

This is the show For the realists Say goodbye to the lies The fakeness and delusions of modern society And welcome Motherfucking Reality guys Today we have Q&AF

That's where you submit the questions And we give you The answers DJ's gonna tell you How to submit your questions Guys you can email these questions In to ask Andy AtandiFrasella.com

You can also click the link In the description below To submit them for a chance to be read or drop them in the comment section of the Q&AF episodes and any for Seller Motivation on YouTube. Now, if this is your first time listening, we have shows within the show. Tonight, we're going to have CTI Live at 7 p.m. Central Time on YouTube and X, formerly known as Twitter. Sometimes we're going to have real talk.

Real talk is just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses. 75 hard verses where someone who's completed the 75 hard program comes on the show. We talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75-hard program to transform their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75-Hard is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program in history. And you get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed. There's also a book.

The book is available at Andy Fursle.com. It's called The Book on Mental Toughness. And I happen to have the guy who wrote the forward for the book sitting directly in front of me. It was an A. Me. Yeah, it's not DJ. It's Mr. Tim Grover. What's happening, bro. Everything's excellent, brother.

What an honor, man, to be able to do that forward for you. Bro, you have no idea. It's not your honor. It's mine. What's the first thing you said when he asked you? Well, the first thing came to mine. Of course. Yeah.

Of course. The only thing was the background story about that. is my agent and Sherry got a call saying, listen, we need the Ford, we need the Ford, like right away. And she sent the, and she got in contact with me, we wrote the Ford, we sent it to it, who came out a year and a half later. Oh yeah.

Hey, it took us a minute. It took us a minute. But a lot of you guys don't know, but, you know, Tim has been one of the guiding, I guess mentors in my life for a very long time. I was introduced to Tim through his book Relentless. When I read that book, I was pretty sure that I was the only person like me on the planet. I was in a very dark space.

I was like a lot of you guys, very ambitious, working very hard and felt completely out of place. And I read that book and I say this often, dude, I think it saved my life for sure. I know it did. And, you know, to have you write the forward of my book is just, I mean, bro, it's one of the coolest things that's ever happened in my life. Oh. So it's an honor, man. You know how I feel about you, and you know by the work that you've done, your history, what you've built, everything, you as a person. So it wasn't even a.

And we get asked all the time. I mean, I know how often I get asked. I don't even know how many times Sherry gets emailed about people asking us. to do forwards and quotes for the book and the answer is no well not no yeah listen it's pretty awesome man it's pretty cool to have you as a friend and and to you know how we met was pretty cool you know I read the book I posted about the book on my Instagram and you sold a couple books.

And then we met at Cardone's 10X, his first one. Like sitting right next to each other. Yeah, it was pretty cool, man. I was like, man, there's Tim Grover. And you turned around, you're like, Andy. And I'm like, holy shit, Tim Grover knows who I am. And Andy was wearing a suit. Yeah, no shit.

That's right. That's right. But we have them here today to go through some Q&A with you guys. So it's a very special day for you guys. And I guess we'll just get right into it, man. Yeah, let's do it, man. I got some good ones for you. You do?

I usually do. All right. So here we go. Guys, Andy. Tim, question number one. Hey, Andy. My name is Ty, and I'm from Nebraska. Since I was 16, I've been listening to you.

I'm 21 now and have successfully failed my first business. I started a construction company in 2025, and by 2026, we are done. And now I'm restarting. I don't have a great path in mind, but I know I need to pay bills, make money, survive for now. I was wondering if you had any wise words of MF wisdom for a 21-year-old who's determined to be a millionaire by 25. Well, first, I'd say you're lucky to have that lesson in your repertoire now as opposed to later. You know, right now when you're young, a lot of people, you know, they're scared of failing. They're scared of looking stupid.

And you already got that part out of the way. Yeah. Successfully failed. So, you know, when it comes to losing, man, you know, you can hate to lose, but also value the lessons that it learned, that it teaches you. And, you know, where you're at in your life, this isn't going to be your last loss. but hopefully it's your most important. And you have to ask yourself, you know, instead of worrying about like how silly you look

or a failed business or any of these things, you have to just ask yourself what'd you learn because this path that we're on as entrepreneurs is a lifelong path. You know, Tim and I talk about this a lot. You know, when you're a pro athlete, you have, you know, eight to 12 years if you're lucky. If you're lucky.

Right. And entrepreneurship is a unique game where you get to compete at the highest level, but it goes for as long as you want to play. And, you know, sometimes people opt out. Sometimes people write it all the way to the end. But the point of the matter is, is that you're very young and to have started and failed a business at the age of 21. Really honestly, it's probably the best thing that you could have going for you. When I started in business, you know, I started with a lot of little things, you know, even back

to when I was a kid, I started, you know, selling baseball cards, selling light bulbs door to door, doing all these different things and, you know, none of them worked. But every single time I went through one of these situations where things didn't work, I learned a lesson. And as I've grown as an entrepreneur over the course of my life, I've started to change things from wins and losses to lessons. Okay, what did I learn here? What did I learn there? And that goes for both the wins and the losses. And I think to to play the long game, you know, you have to attach less of your identity to the outcomes in terms of wins or losses and more of your identity to the process. Okay, what am I doing every single day? What are lessons have I learned? How is that going to help me get where I want to go? And that goes for both the wins and the losses. This is like, you know, you guys saw Indiana winning an hour. National Championship last week.

You know, they interviewed Signetti right after the game. And he said, he said, what are you going to do? He said, I'm going to have a beer. Okay. But I guarantee you he probably didn't have to. Right. He probably, I bet you the day after that, he was back in the game working for that next one, for that next one.

And, you know, you're going to lose games. You're going to lose businesses. You're going to lose relationships. You're going to lose. but if you keep going, it's not a loss. It's just a lesson. So I think the main thing that you've got to keep in mind here as a young man is that you're going to have these situations repeat over and over and over again.

And most people will identify a big loss like that as a defining moment in their life in a bad way. When in reality, every great person that I've ever met defines their losses as just part of the journey. They see it as a necessity that led to the outcome that's the outcome that's, they were after down the road. So, you know, that's my advice, man. It's really just as simple as continuing to work down the path and continue to get better. I mean, what do you think, Tim? Well, first of all, I'm still waiting all my light bulbs from you.

Yeah. I didn't realize it was you. Yeah. Obviously, everything that you said is absolutely true. The one thing I would say in part of this question is one of the reasons I think a lot, of people fail in their thing is they put a timeline on like you know I have to be like he said I have to I want to be a millionaire by that time I'm 25 right all right so you try to you try to accelerate everything and you may not be ready to accelerate at the speed that you that you think

you're prepared for so throw that throw that number or that timeline out and like you said continue with the process continue continue to work and because things And you say this all the time is things always take longer than you anticipate. They just do. They just do. And your story is not unique. You know, obviously, you know, you said you've been listening to this, to the podcast since you've been 16. So then you should be very familiar with First Forms history when you guys opened up your first store.

and everybody was sleeping in the store and I think, I don't remember your first month or something you made like $12 or $8 or $7. $1.00, our first day. Yeah. Yeah. So you don't have a unique story. So a lot of people have gone through this. So when you're taking a vet, when you're taking the lessons from these individuals,

don't think you're alone in this. But whatever mistakes you made, you cannot continue to make those same mistakes. It's like, you know, you'd have to learn. You have to learn from this failure. Like they're saying failure is a learning process. So if you're going through it and you're like, you're going to try to do it the exact same way, the same method with even the same people

and the same attitude, it's not going to work. There has to be some adjustments there. And maybe the people that you were doing business with or there are some people involved in your business. You got to look at them and see if they're part of the win or part of the loss. Yeah. I also think it's important for everybody to understand like, dude, whether you're playing basketball or baseball or football or

entrepreneurship or business, I mean, look, dude, you know, you're getting a, you're getting the Hall of Fame of baseball for batting 300. You know what that means? That means you fucking struck out or got out seven out of ten times. Yeah. And everybody that you guys look at and see as winning, they don't necessarily show those parts of their journey. You know, they should, but they don't. And that's for a number of reasons, you know, one, maybe, maybe they've got a massive ego and they're embarrassed of the things that they did wrong.

That's not cool, flashy. Yeah, but the truth of the matter is, is that, you know, in my experience, you know, those have been the most valuable things, the times when things didn't work out, the times when things didn't go the way that it's supposed to go. because it did allow, just like Tim said, for you to audit and say, okay, I can make this decision. This actually worked pretty good, but this didn't work well. And then over the course of time, you start to find that recipe where the things that work,

work and the things that you were weak, you replace with either people or systems or a new skill set, and then you go at it again. And I think a lot of people, to your point, Tim, when they put these timelines on them, you know, they get to be the 25 and they're like, well, fuck, I didn't make it. So, you know what? It's not for me. Complete failure. Right.

And that's just not the game. The game is very long. And these people that you look at and you say, I really want my life to look like that, I mean, dude, I can guarantee you if you get them and you get a couple beers in them, they'll tell you all the horror stories they had to go through to get to that point. And here's the thing is just you look at the successful people and you talk to them and you go to them like, man, you made it. The first thing I'll tell you, I haven't made anything yet.

I haven't made anything. It's an infinity journey. It doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't end. And I'm not always saying that's the best thing, but the true entrepreneurship, the journey never, the journey never stops. It just doesn't. I think, you know, it's also important to note, dude, that, you know, the people who fail the biggest in life are usually the people that want early. Okay, we see this over and over again. We see this with the MVP of the high school football game.

Oh, yeah. Or we see this with... Great point. Right. You started out and, you know, you hit on something and it made you some money right up front. And what happens is, or, you know, like we see this with people's physical bodies, right? They were in shape.

They were attractive. They were... And then you see them when they're 40 and you're like, who the fuck is this? Right. And the reason for that is because they never actually had to learn the sky. skill set to produce that outcome. And a lot of people who lose in life, the worst are people who won once. They won once and then they can't win again because they attach their identity to that one win that came because, you know what, there is some things that you're going to swing and

you're going to hit real hard and it might work out a little bit. But if you don't develop the work ethic, the skills, the habits that come behind that, you can't replicate it. And so the truth of the matter is to this guy who's asked this question, bro, you're in a much better spot than anybody could be over the course of the long term by failing that so early. Okay, if you had won that business so early, here's what your attitude would be. Everything I do wins. Yeah. Everything I touch turns to gold. And I know this from being around a lot of business people and a lot of people who have lost in their entrepreneurship journey, they constantly talk about that one time they won. and they attach way too much to that one win as opposed to, you know, are you winning consistently?

What's it look like five years from now, 10 years from now, 20 years from now? And so I actually think that winning early is a very dangerous thing for people because they never learn the skills or develop the lessons that they need to learn to replicate that over the course of their life. The one thing I would also tell them, I was like, take a little journey. into your upbringing. All right. How your parents, if you have siblings, how they handled winning and losing when you were growing up,

not only for themselves, for you. Because that has a lot to do with your identity. Yeah. How much you attach yourself to it? Yeah. Well, bro, you know, I mean, if you grow up around parents that are, you know, look, dude, there's two, there's, there's the story of,

like the two sons, right? They have an alcoholic father. And one son never touches alcohol because he saw what his alcoholic father did. The other son does exactly what his father did and ends up with the exact same life. And you have to have the awareness and the honesty to be able to look at your environment of where you grew up and say, what did I pick up from that? What did I see? Right. And sometimes that shit isn't fun to look at because, dude, we love our parents and we were happy that you know they they tried their hardest and we care about them and you know it's it's hard to look at someone that you truly love and say man they kind of fucked me on that you know what i mean right but if you're aware if you if you develop that self-awareness to be

able to truly dissect things for what they are that's where you want to be you want to live in that zone you don't want to attach your emotions to either you want to see things for what they are and When you can do that without emotion, it makes your chances for success, you know, that much greater. I love it, man. I love it. Guys, Andy, Tim, let's get the question number two. Andy, I feel like once people labeled me capable, the expectation is never stop. I can't fail quietly anymore.

And that pressure makes every decision heavier. It's like I am expected to succeed now. So what do you do when you don't? I know every single at bat isn't going to be a home run. I get that, but the people counting on me don't. So how do you handle this? I say that's a great fucking problem. Most people can't put the expectation of winning on themselves.

They have to have it put on them externally. And when you're lucky enough to be in a situation where everybody expects you to fucking win, that pressure is automatic. And by the way, nothing good ever comes without pressure. So I would consider yourself pretty fortunate to have. have that because the worst thing that could happen were for you to be going through your life and be surrounded by people that just expect you to lose. There's no pressure.

There's no, there's no expectation. And ideally, you should have that expectation on yourself. But sometimes it takes external pressure to, to start embodying that full time because, dude, like we just talked about an hour ago, it's heavy as the fucking head, right? When you're that dude, guess what? what it comes with that dude shit yeah you know what I mean everybody wants to be everyone wants to sit in that chair everybody wants to sit in that seat until it's time to sit in that seat until it's time to make those decisions listen pressure is a privilege folk stop don't run from it you

don't run you don't run from pressure you run toward you run towards it all right pressure defines who you are and who you're not but also defines who you can become all right so don't, you know, you sit here and you watch what separates the top business people, the CEOs of the companies, the pressure when they have to make those decisions, when they have to make those decisions that affect, you know, tens and thousands of individuals. When you're watching a baseball, when you're watching a baseball player, a pitcher or a batter or a basketball or a quarterback or so forth. You know, it's the, it's the wins and losses comes from individuals that can handle the pressure that's not only internal, but that's also

external. Obviously, those people see something in you, but make sure you're taking the pressure, the individuals that are putting the pressure on you are those individuals that have the right to do that. All right. This is, you know, it's just not people that are trying to, that are looking at a bank off of your bank off of your success. So if you want to alleviate some of that pressure is alleviate those individuals. El alleviate those individuals. Then the pressure that's bestowed on you is actually pressure that you want. How do you think, have you ever met anybody?

Like, I mean, dude, you've you've coached literally the greatest achievers in all different areas, sports, business, et cetera. Have you ever met anybody that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you've, you've, you've, didn't want that? Not at the highest level. The pressure? Yeah. Not at the highest level.

And then, you know what? You also look at, it's your consistent habits over and over again that people see that allows other individuals to believe, you know, believe in you. You know, you look at Michael in the, you know, in two of the championship games. He gave the ball to Steve. He gave the ball to Steve Kerr for that shot. He gave the other one to John Paxson. All right.

But it took him years of watching those individuals in games, their practice habits, how they showed up to be able to say, okay, I trust, I trust those individuals to pass them the ball. So it doesn't always, you don't always have to be the, a lot of times your best individuals in the organization and team are the ones that they can handle the pressure the best, but there are also other individuals during certain circumstances. You got to know who to pass the ball to and let them say, hey, they're, create that, take that pressure situation, have everybody come your way and then make the right play.

How, I feel like a lot of people get stuck in this idea. that they're the only ones that can operate during pressure, which makes the pressure feel even greater than what it is. How does someone go about figuring out who's who in regards to who can also handle that pressure when the time comes? Well, like I said, you have to be around those individuals. It has a lot of do with the dynamics, the dynamics of them growing up, who they're hanging out with, what situations they put in.

I mean, now I hate to say this, but, you know, society is the way in our system is it's pressure's not a good, pressure's not a good thing anymore. It's just, you know, it's everything, we got to treat everybody the same. We can't make anybody look a certain way. I mean, there's schools now that literally, when I went to school, you had to make a presentation. You got in front of the class or you got in front of the whole school and you had to go out there and stand in front of the audience and tell them what you had to say and so forth. Now, because they don't want to, they don't want to create anything different,

you can literally take your cell phone and record your presentation now under your own. Yeah. Yeah. And the safety of a bedroom. I got a note because of my anxiety. I can't do the presentation. Well, then guess what, bitch, you're going to lose. That's right.

You're going to, because that, and then when you're exposed to that situation, in real life and you will be at some point. I don't care how protected you are. Yeah. You have zero pressure. Your body is a foreign substance. Your body doesn't even know what it is. You crumble.

Yeah, you're going to be like what's going to happen. Well, dude, and that's why it's so important for you to seek out uncomfortable situations. Yes. Every single chance you get. Like if you struggle with speaking, you should be trying to speak in front of two people, three people, five people, as much as it. it takes for you to lose that, that feeling, okay? And what happens is over time, your skill set becomes so strong and so competent.

Bro, you don't even notice that there's pressure. Like, you don't even feel it. Like a lot of people think, like they look at like high achievers and they think, man, that guy does really good under pressure, except that guy doesn't even feel the pressure. No. That's, that's, it's not even in his mind. There's no, there's nobody that you watch on TV that is truly. at what they do, whether it be UFC or baseball or basketball or this or that or this,

that they don't feel it because they've acclimated to it over and over and over and over. And once you're acclimated to that level of pressure, it seems like it's some sort of supernatural power. But it's very methodical and it's very tactical. And as long as you, it's no different than a cold plunge. Okay, you get in a cold plunge the first day. I don't give a shit who you are, bro. You're going to freak the fuck out. Okay, but if you do it every day for a year, okay, you're going to be around your buddies that have never been in a coal plunge before and you're going to get right in there and they're going to be like, oh, well, that's, that's no big deal.

But then when they get in, they freak out. So a lot of this is just acclamation, dude. It's just looking for situations. I mean, the first thing is you've got to be aware of your lack of skill, right? And you've got to be aware that I need to work on this or I need to work on that. And let me tell you something about speaking, because it's a great, it's a great thing to talk about right now. There is not a better skill than you can have than being able to communicate under pressure. It is like the skill.

So, you know, when I first started public speaking, I was speaking to my team and in the back of my, in the front of my retail store. And I had a piece of paper with some notes on it. And my paper, my hand was looking like this. And there's eight people in the room and I'm freaking to fuck out. but dude when you do that like a lot of people will say well how the fuck did you learn how to speak well i had to do it every single week for 10 years before i ever got on a stage and then when i got on the stage the first time i was fucking freaking out but then i did that a gazillion times and now it's like hey you want to go speak in front of 10 000 people i'm like now like you know

like right you like what do i need to say like which way you want me to go sure i'll go do it Like these, this acclamation of pressure and, and being in situations that make you uncomfortable is extremely valuable because nobody was willing to do that fucking work, bro. Like, I was terrified to talk to people in public, terrified. Okay. And even though I worked at a retail counter for 10 years, I couldn't go out in public and talk to people. I could talk to them very well when they were in my environment. Sure.

But I couldn't do it outside of that. And I recognized that. So you know what I did? I made up a little game. A lot of you guys might recognize it from Live Hard. What I did was I went to the fucking grocery store and I said, I got to have three meaningful conversations and then I can go home with strangers. And this wasn't, hey, you know, nice shoes. It was a conversation, right?

I had to make it and force it into a conversation. And dude, I did that for years. For years, I did that every single day. The skills I gained from that exercise are very, very, very, very responsible for the outcome that I'm currently living in. And you guys have to understand this goes for anything. This doesn't just go for speaking. This goes for fuck, if you're learning how to run or you're learning how to lift weights or whatever, dude. It's just repetition after repetition after repetition to the point where it just feels natural.

and most people when it comes to like pressure run from the pressure their whole lives pressure is a bad thing pressure is something to be avoided and because they have that mind frame they never acclimate to it the way that you need to to be effective do you do any of your athletes uh you know like do they ever talk to you like hey tim i'm having trouble with the pressure man i mean they might hit you privately and say hey man i'm getting a little overwhelmed but and i always tell you tell them when they get overwhelmed, I was like, look outside the game. Look outside the game. What's the external thing that's bringing in? Because when you get overwhelmed, it's usually not by the situation. It's all the external. That's why I said you need to take a look at these outside

individuals. And this goes back to a lot of pressure stuff has to do with rejection. So the one thing, that was a great story that you just said about going to the grocery store. How many times did you walk up to somebody? They thought I was a weirdo. Right. Just to reject. If you imagine going into groceries and walking, nice shoes, they'll be like, oh, no. Yeah, right. But just being able that, once that pressure situation, being able to just approach a stranger,

don't know who they are. And that is more than actually striking up the conversation. Once you get into there, they're like, I'm good. Yeah. It's a huge, huge deal. And you can apply that to anything that you want to get better at. Yeah. So don't run from the pressure.

No. Not if you want to win. You got to run. If you keep running from the pressure, you're going to be running your, you're going to be running your, you're going to be running your whole life, man. Most people do you're just going to. And eventually you're going to get tired. You know, you're going to get tired. You got to go deal.

Go deal with that pressure, man. Go deal with the internal pressure, the external pressure, the external pressure, whatever it is. Go deal. You will be, you will benefit so much for it in all. aspects of your life and here's the thing if you don't deal with if you don't deal with the pressure for your family it's gonna be generation they're gonna watch how you do it then the next generation is gonna run from it the next one's gonna run from it somebody's got somebody's got to break the cycle absolutely love it man

love it man guys 80 Tim we got why question number three Eddie I've been working hard for years but my results aren't where I thought they would be at by now. At one point. Everyone's working hard. I hate, man, just this, I hate what man.

I hate that. I'm like seriously. I've been working. I've been working. Everybody in this building got, how many, you got what? How many employees do you got?

All right. Everyone's working. Working hard does not, people think working hard guarantees your results. Working hard does not guarantee you results. It just doesn't. Are you working hard on the right?

Are you working hard on the right? Are you working hard on the right? things. You maybe think you're working hard. You may feel like you're working hard, but you better look around and see how hard some of the other individuals are working. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's at one point, do you stop telling yourself to stay the course and instead admit you might need to change how you think, work, or even who you are?

Well, I think the first thing that Tim said is the absolute truth, okay? Everybody fucking works hard, dude. You're not even in the game if you don't work hard, okay? You know that this is a pet peeve of mine too Like these motherfuckers that come in Bro they come in and they're like I'm a great I'm a great on the team I'm a great team member

I show up on time I work hard The fuck you're talking about bro That is like the minimum You have to do those things If you don't do those things You don't even have a shot Okay

And you can work hard Your entire life and still lose That's the thing working hard at the wrong thing like you just said guarantees a loss so you have to have the awareness for this person here are you making improvement how many years have you been working have you been addressing your weak skill points have you been learning lessons or are you continuing to just pound your head into that wall hoping that it's going to come down because i'm going to tell you you motherfucker it ain't okay the hardest the most effective highest achieving people in the world

understand that working hard is just part of it they don't even talk about how hard they were dude it dude it's they they literally don't because it's just the price yeah but what they do talk about is could I do this a little better could I adjust my swing here could I move two steps this way and make it better am I doing this way and make it better am I doing this this drill properly. Am I reading this kind of book? Am I actually good at this or am I making up for it which is grit effort? Okay. Because people love to say this shit now too. They like to say, well, it's not about working hard. It's about working smart. No, dumbass. It's about doing both for a very long time. Okay. And anybody who says this shit on the internet like this little fucking

oh, it's about working smart, not working hard. Those motherfuckers are lazy. Okay. And the people who say it's only about hard work it doesn't matter those people are stupid okay so you're either lazy or you're fucking stupid or you're effective effective people work hard and they learn along the way and they do that for as long as it takes to achieve the outcome and that's the way it is so i can't answer your question about whether you're not you're on the right path because i don't have enough data to tell if you know there are certain paths that you could choose that are not going to produce the right outcome they're just not okay Are most of them that way?

No. But there are some. Okay, you're not going to be a multi-billionaire selling fucking butterfly t-shirts. Right. Okay, if your goal is to become a multi-billionaire, it's probably not going to happen on that path. All right. So you have to be able to align the outcome with the path and then accompany that journey with very hard work for a very long time with the ability to improve along the way. but most people want one or the other or something else.

And it's just not the way it works, man. Listen, ask your peers, ask the people around you if you're working hard. Ask you see. Then then see. What is hard work now? Hard work is so much simpler now because everything is literally you carry it around with you. You can get your research. You get your information.

You get your podcast. You get everything in here. When you're working hard, are you working hard on the right thing? Do you have the skill set? You know, I get people that have read the books and so forth, and they'd be like, man, you know, this book, I'm 30 years old. I had a dream of going to the NBA. I only played in elementary school.

It ain't happening, dude. What should I do? I was like, don't do it. Oh, you're being negative. Don't do it. Don't do it. You just had to doubt me to give me some fuel. right?

Take that same energy and put it into something else. Now can you possibly do that? That's what it is. All right. It's just like this work and this work in the heart.

Well, we eventually all have to have an honest conversation about what our natural propensity for skill set is. You had to. You play college basketball. Yes. You didn't, you didn't,

you had to come to a time where Tim had to say to himself this has a limit. for where I'm going to go. But I was a sophomore or I think I was a sophomore junior in college. I played a junior in high school. Man, that dude kicked my ass. He up and down.

I played him one-on-one, man, up and down, the court, up and down, the court, up and down, the court. I like, yeah, okay. Yeah. And he eventually ended up going pro, had a great career, was a client of mine, at some point in his career. But I was just like, you got to be realistic about you. Like you said, what your skill set is, what your skill set is and what you're capable of doing. And here's the one thing now.

On TV and on social media and everything that's out there, you get to see how talented individuals really, really are. Yeah, the best of anywhere. You see some of the skill sets of individuals on, you know, on these America's got talent or whatever the show is or whatever's got here. And you look at these individuals, the dancers, the singers, and so forth. And these people, they're just trying to make it. So you get to see, some of the, you know, if you stop looking at all the bullshit that's on your phone, and you look at some of the artistic talent that people have and how creative they are. And your level of expertise in competition now is exponentially higher because there's so much exposure out there.

So what you thought was hard work may not be hard work anymore. That's right. And also, you know, when we think about like the outcomes that we're after, usually people have pretty ambitious outcomes, which is great. But you have to realize, like for every single person you see on America, has got talent. There's a thousand more just like them that didn't make it. Yeah. Okay. So you got to be honest with yourself, but not, not in a pessimistic way, in an honest way, right? There's lots of people. I'm one of them that did not have natural skill set for certain things. Okay. I was not naturally good with people. I was not naturally good at speaking. These are skills I developed over

repetition, repetition, repetition. But if I had decided that I wanted to play pro basketball, It doesn't matter how fucking hard I worked. It doesn't matter how many drills I had. It doesn't matter who I hired as my coach. Guess what? It ain't happening. So people hide. Look, winners are going to win regardless.

They're going to figure out a way to fucking win. You have to be very honest with yourself. Are you not winning because you can't win? Or are you not winning because you haven't been doing it long enough? Or are you not winning because you haven't learned the skill set? yet. Okay. But if the winning that you're after requires you to run a 4-240 and you're 300 pounds, it ain't happening. Yeah. So you've got to be honest about yourself in your assessment of where you're strong, where you're weak, where could you be great? And then you have to develop an outcome

that allows you to get there with what would be considered some of your maybe gifts. But they're not everybody's very few people have a quote unquote a gift that doesn't have to be nurtured and developed, right? Like, we get caught up in this language of, oh, that guy's gifted, that guy's gifted, yes, but they also put in thousands upon thousands of hours to developing that gift, right? It's almost disrespectful to just say, yeah, yeah. It's very disrespectful. You're a gifted speaker.

Like, what the fuck you talk about? Listen, it's what, we just talked about this on the other show. It's one of my most annoying pet peeves of people. It's like, because there's nothing. casual about winning, bro. Nothing, nothing, nothing. People who win are fucking obsessed with winning. And when you come in and you think that you can do half their work or learn half their skills or you're going to find a way around that, you got to realize that's an ego problem with you. You think you're better than you actually are, which is keeping you from getting where you want to go. And so there's all different kinds of ways to think about this. And I think most people, you're better.

people are hiding in their assessments of themselves. And what I mean by that is this. This person here says, oh, I've been working for years. And I'm not, I'm not, I'm not there. So you notice he didn't say how many years. No, he did. Yeah, was that one, is that one and a half years? He didn't say, he didn't say how many years.

Is that 10 years? Yeah. Okay. New year. Like, hey, bro, it took me 10 years to make over $100,000. 10 years. 10 fucking years, okay? Tell yourself the truth.

Are you really after that outcome? Are you pouring everything that you could into it? Are you learning every skill along the way? And if you still have been doing it for 10 years, and that's an honest answer, you probably should be doing something else. Something else. You don't have the talent for whatever you're doing.

Right. But that's super rare. Unless it's like something like athletically or musically inclined, right? Like, I used to have this guitar teacher. And dude, he was, fucking amazing. Joe knows him. And we would play songs that I wanted to learn that he had never, he was a jazz guy. He liked jazz. So I'd play him songs that he had never heard and he'd fucking play him back. Like I'd play the song one time. He'd play the motherfucker back. And I'm like,

and I remember I was sitting there one time and I was like, dude, you are so talented. And he fucking stopped right there. Stopped right there. And he goes, he was 52 years old at the time. He I've been playing guitar so I was eight years old. He goes, I have tens of thousands of hours sitting here with this instrument. This isn't talent. I worked for this. And he was serious, dude.

Oh, he was hot. And I was like, fuck, I never said that about anybody ever again. Yeah, because I was discounting the work he had put in. And he was upset about it. And I never made a mistake ever again. You see some of the greatest bass players, guitar players in the bands, and the way they be doing, you're just, you're mesmerized by it.

But they've been doing it for, for decades. Decades. For decades. And they still practice it as though it's their first day. That's right. And they're still trying to get better. They're still trying to figure out, they know they, they've never hit perfection. They're always, they're constantly chasing perfection, knowing they're never going to catch it.

But that's what it is. They're always looking for that, that perfect song, that perfect string, that, that, that perfect, everything, and the obsession to constantly get better and get better and get better. But what you said, it's years and years, and they've had the talent, they've had the talent, they've had the talent, they're willing to improve and so forth. You know, just working hard is not, I could sit here all day and I could dedicate the rest of my life to say, okay, I'm going to, whatever it is, if I don't have the, if I don't have the ability to talent, if I'm not good at it, it doesn't matter.

Or the time. It doesn't matter, yeah. Yeah, I mean, dude, you could create a lot more sense. skill set when you're 20 than you can when you're 60. Yeah. You just have more time. So the fact that this person is young, that's a good thing. All right.

But we have to be real about this, dude. This is not, greatness is not an accident. It really isn't. And it's painted as if it is, but it's not. You just don't see the things that go into it. So you assume it's magical. Like whenever my buddy Matthew, the guitar guy, that's magical to me.

I was like, how the fuck could anybody do that? Like, I couldn't believe it. But I wasn't there for the 40-something years that he, 42 years or whatever it was that he played. So what is magic? Magic isn't what you see. It's what you don't see. Man, there you go.

It's what you don't see. So when that person has that magical skill, that magical talent, that magic makes that magical shot, it's all the hours. It's what you don't see. When a magician isn't, everybody, it's what the magician.

magician doesn't show you what makes things magical. And I think, too, dude, you could become pretty good. It's shit. Like, if I started today, if I started playing guitar today, okay, I haven't played in a number of years. If I started today, let's just say I never played before. And I played every single day. And I did that for five or six years.

I could go play in a band. Oh, yeah. I could be in a band. Okay. But I'm not going to be the fucking Rolling Stones. You know what I'm saying? Like yeah yeah right I'm not gonna be Jimmy fucking Hendricks bro

Like so we have to be real about these things And the internet wants to like Make everything seem like it's Everything can be done There's actual real constraints To your achievement That if you're not aware of We'll keep you from achieving anything

So to this person Okay we don't know how long they've been doing it We don't know You know they say oh I've been working hard But for example like an operator standard We have this, we have a powerless system, right? You could plug in the wrong shit every day on your power list and fucking win your days. Right.

But that doesn't mean it's going to produce the outcome you're after. You have to have the awareness to know what the critical tasks are that move you towards that goal. Right. Right. So we can get caught up in this idea of working hard without, like Tim said, working hard on the right things. Right. And that is a huge difference. I was going to ask you guys on that note, right?

Like from your experience, how many of those, how many people would you say that, you know, yes, That's okay, let's let's check the box. They're working hard, but they're not working hard on the right thing. Yeah. It's time to upgrade your oral ring, man. That thing don't fit no more. Huh? No, it's just a little rubber.

Oh, that's there. Let's check. That DJ's down 100 since he met you. Yeah. Oh, Tim checks in on me, man. I know. Checks in on me. I know.

But no, I mean, so he almost came out here and beat your ass one time, bro. He did. Yeah, yeah. He did. Yeah, he did. I wasn't going to beat his ass I'd bring other people that would help At my age

I'd like a pledge by Michael Jordan I had to pull DJ aside I say hey bro let me tell you something Let me tell you something There's only a few people that you fucking Better fucking text back He's wonderful That's right

No but let me ask you guys this On the topic of Let's check the box They're working hard Yeah That's not a question Okay, you're working hard. You're just a little off, like you're off target.

Yeah. Maybe not on the right thing. How would you guys, like, what would you guys say? Like, is that the majority of people that're just a little off from Target? Or is it like, are we assuming that they actually work hard? Actually working on. Okay, so we're assuming they actually work hard. I actually work hard.

And you're asking out of the people who don't achieve what they want to achieve, but they actually work hard, what's the problem? Right. Are they just a little off or for most people, they're probably really far off? I think most people lack self-awareness. Yeah. I think most people don't have the ability to coach themselves. Yeah. I think the greatest people in the world have the ability to coach themselves.

I don't think they attach emotions to their performance. You know, like when you talk to someone, like, okay, I'm a bad loser. I fucking hate losing. And for about 20 minutes after I lose, do not fucking talk to me. Yep. Okay. But after that 20 minutes, I'm able to sit down and I'm able to say, okay, why'd I lose?

What did I do wrong? You're able to break it down. Right. What did I do wrong? How can I do it better? What needs to happen next time so I don't get like this again? That's a skill that a lot of people don't have. And I've always been able to, I've been very fortunate.

And I think, you know, growing up around my dad really helped me with this. Because I can remember one time I was wrestling. And my dad will tell this story. But I had to wrestle this dude who, like, he never, he had, This guy never lost a match in high school ever. He played in the NFL. And I had to wrestle this dude. And I remember we were at wrestling.

And I was a heavyweight. Okay. So we could have guessed that. Yeah, no shit. So back in my day in wrestling, when you were a heavyweight, you got a lot of forfeits, all right? Which means they didn't have a heavy weight. So like I look around and, you know, you look around the room for the other fat guy. All right.

And you're like, all right, where's the fat guy? All right. No fat guy. So we're at this wrestling way in and I'm looking around. There's no fucking fat guy. But you still have to weigh in. Okay. So I get on the scale and dude, I used to get like super nervous before wrestling.

I didn't get nervous for any sport except wrestling because, dude, there's no fucking hiding. It's you and that other dude. And everybody's watching. All right. So I remember I'm like, I get on the scale and I'm all calm and shit. my coach looks at me and he's like he's like man what's what's gotten into you and i'm like what do you mean and and i'm like they don't you know what what do you mean and he's like as he's like telling me this like there's three of their coaches standing there and their coach starts taking off of their

clothes and i and he's fucking yoked and i'm like looking at my coach and i'm like why is their coach getting on the scale and it turns out this was their fucking guy okay this guy's like 240 i'm I mean, dude, he played fucking tailback in the NFL. So you know what the fuck he, he's just one of them guys. He thought it was a coach. Yeah, I thought I was a fucking coach. And I got fucking terrified, bro. I was like, fuck.

So I went out there, I lost. I did okay, but I lost. And I was so fucking pissed off on the way home when I lost. And my dad was like laughing at me. He's like, first of all, let me tell you something. Nobody expected you to win. Okay, let's just start right there. Second off, why did you lose?

and we went through the whole thing, right? And so my dad was always very good at like breaking down the losses. When I, it wasn't ever, you know, we celebrate the wins. Sure. Okay. But way more valuable when I lost. Like if we had a football game, you know, we would break down, like not in a film way, but he would take all the bad plays.

He'd say, what happened there? What happened here? What happened there? Right. And that taught me at a very young age how to do that. to break down and coach myself. And the highest achievers, and I would be interested to see if this is common with the... I already know where's you going to say.

Yeah, they do it themselves. And then like, like bro, like when I've had problems before and I've called you, I already knew the fucking problem. You already know. I called him and I say, hey man, this what's going on? Blah blah, blah. What do you think? He's like, yeah, you're fucking right. This... So like the highest achievers have an awareness that's not emotional.

They might look emotional in the moment. They might get pissed off when they lose. They might fucking break shit. But eventually they calm down and they're like, all right, here's what happened. They've had so many conversations with themselves. Like you said, they can, they can stuff. Before I could point something wrong, they would already say, I already know. Already got it.

I think that's a common amongst the highest level winners in anything. Yeah. You know. That's why coaches always say they're the easiest to coach. You know, the common factor. I'm not, you talk. And people think that, because what they think when they say that is, that guy's so good, I don't have to coach him.

No. That's not what it is. No. And, you know, so there was a thing I just saw on Tom Brady, and I know we're going a little bit off subject. He's just said he could look at a playbook once. I know it? And know it?

Like an NFL playbook. NFL play. He goes, I know everything. He goes, I know. Yeah, but dude, if you look at Tom Brady and you look at his background and you look at you look where he came from and you look how he was drafted he wasn't a fucking star anywhere dude so what happened to him he had this is my fucking outcome this is where I want to be what do I have to do to get there well I'm not the fastest I don't have the best arm I can play

so I got to be smarter and I got to learn a game and I got to be technically perfect yes and that's this is dude the the guys who win over and over and they are those guys that's working hard on the right things yeah you see what I'm saying saying. So he's, listen, I'm not going to be the fastest quarterback. I'm not going to be able to do this. I got a decent arm. I got this. But you know what? The ability for me to process

information, recognize situations, lead a team being able to not only my playbook, but the opponent's playbook, after I see it, there you. Bro, and dude, let's be real about this. This is the truth. The

most talented people rarely fucking win. It's the guys with some talent. It's the guys with some ability because here's what happens. These dudes that have this gift that we all call talent, maybe they run a 4-140. Or maybe they fucking jump 70 inches, whatever the fuck it is. They what happens is they end up relying on that. Okay? They're not reading the playbook. No, that's right. Bro, there's a very famous story about Jamarcus Russell, about not reading the playbook. Jamarcus Russell, you remember Jamarcus Russell. Number one fucking draft pick in NFL. He's supposed to be the greatest quarterback ever because physically he was. He was fucking

6, 5, 280, ran fast through. No one could touch him. So he gets drafted, number one. And he goes out on the field and the Raiders, he got drafted by the Raiders. And they're like, this guy's pretty good. So he refused to read the playbooks. Okay. And they were pretty sure that he wasn't reading the playbook. So they fucking gave him a playbook that didn't have any fucking plays in it. And they told him to go home and read it. He came back the next day. He's like, yeah, I fucking read it. And if you don't know about NFL history, Jim Marcus Russell is one of the biggest busts in the history of fucking NFL. No offense if he's listening, but you were. Okay. But he could have not been, if he was slightly less physically gifted, he probably

would have realized I have to do all of these other things. So a lot of are the people that you look at and you say oh man that guy's great that guy's great at what he does it's not because they're the most talented it's because they had a little bit of talent but they were willing to do all the shit that goes with it and like dude if we look at like fuck dude michael jordan's the same way is he not talent is a gift it's not a promise and people think it's people think it's a promise so another story that you want to that um derrick henry so when he got to um when he got to alabama with uh nick sabin you know they had all these intricate plays to run and all and he was totally lost and then it was like he goes and the nick goes up to me

goes what's my he goes in high school he goes they gave me the ball and they said go run that go run to the other end he was that's all he goes they gave me the ball so he said go run to the other end because he was just physically yeah just like nobody nobody could stop nobody could stop now he knew at the next level and the coach knew at the left stuff that wasn't going to be enough so he started to had all that has all the talent to have the speed, the power, everything. You know, it's legendary. But he was willing to start working on the things that he needed to work on

in order to be this dude. Yeah. He just wasn't relying on his so-called gifts. Now look at him. Yeah. Bro, he's one of my favorite players. And you know why? Because he runs and he's physical and he's big and he's faster than everybody,

but he's gotten better as his career is going on. Yeah. And that's a testament to what you're talking about to him. It is. Yeah. Anyway. Well, dude, I love it, man. This was great, guys.

Yeah. Tim, dude, thank you so much for coming in, man. Always an honor of guys. Thank you. So it's always a pleasure. It's great to sit with you two individuals and just chop it up. And like I said, I always, I come out of, the one of the reasons I do this is, honestly, I take away so much from this. You know, I'm just not here just spewing information.

I'm gathering information of how I can be, how I can be better and make other individuals. How old are you better? I'm 61. Look at this guy. Yeah. Oh. Look at him. Oh, I see you.

Bro. That's a high standard man right there, bro. And I'm not ashamed to tell him. Yeah. You know, people, when people ask me how old am, I tell them exactly what I don't hide from my age. I always say, I'm not old. I'm seasoned.

I'm seasoned. I'm seasoned. I'm fine. I'm not, I'm not afraid to tell. I'm not. I don't hide. I don't hide. And there's a thing.

I am more determined now on certain things. Listen, I may not be able to do. things as fast as I was as I was but my determination and the things I still want to accomplish and it starts if I don't there's um old Saturday night live clip with um I'm trying to think of his his his the comedian's name oh man but you know he always says back in that black and white days huh huh it's it's going it's going it's going it's going way it's going way back how you feel about yourself and how you look matters. It really, it really does, especially as you get, as you get older.

Well, you're crushing it, dude. It really does. It's very important. Do I, do I wake up every single morning, say, yeah, let me go to the gym? No, you know, I got to talk myself into it, but when I get there, I'm like, I'm not going to waste my time. And, you know, obviously it can turn into a social setting. And there's a certain, I set a time.

Once I get in, I have to be in here and I got to be out of here. There's a lot of times I guess, I don't have time for conversation. The best part about Tim is when you say, when you tell him, I worked out for two hours. The fuck you did. When you work out, you had the gym to yourself, right? Sometimes it's just you too. But other than that, you're in there. Like, this is my time.

I got to, you know, I got to finish during this. And I got, I got to get the hell out of there. Fuck yeah, man. Well, thank you very much. Bro, listen. It's, it's, it's, listen, man. I hope sometimes you stop and think about how many people you've actually helped. Oh, thank you.

because it is it is it's not just the Michael Jordan's it's not just the Bryce Harper's you're fucking helping real people do real shit thank you and I know we don't always see it but I hear it all the time all the time from people so uh and part a I want to say thank you too part of them we're going back on the physical thing the support from first form whatever I ask for them it's literally it's there with under in less than 24 hours Yeah, but the rest of you motherfuckers got to pay. But there, yeah, but listen, nothing comes for, nothing comes, nothing comes, nothing comes for free.

All right. I don't, because. Actually, I think you are, you do pay. I am blessed to get the products that I, that, that I get, but I don't take it. I don't take that lightly. I give back. I give back.

Tim, you've been giving back forever, man. And I'm going to continue. It's the only way I know how. It's the only way I know how. We appreciate you, brother. I appreciate you guys too, man. Oh, yeah, man. Well, yeah, guys, 802.

That is all I have. All right, guys, we'll see you tonight. 7 o'clock. That's all you have. Today, you got plenty more. But this is all the day. All right, 7 p.m. tonight. YouTube, X, Twitter, whatever you want to call it.

We'll see you there. Don't be a ho. Show the show. We're from sleeping on the flow. Now my jury box froze. Fuck a pole. Counting millions in a cold Bad bitch booted swow got her on bank row can't fold Just a no headshot case closed