REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Audio Exclusive 02: How Real Winners Operate In The Real World

Episode Date: February 17, 2024

In today’s Audio Exclusive episode, Andy talks about how to overcome the hard days when you feel like giving up on your goals, and how to shift your mindset into “action mode” to produce the results needed to succeed in life.

All right, hoes, welcome to the show. We got an audio exclusive today. Are we recording? All right, let's just get going. How about that? Shit. Yeah. How about that?

No intro today. Howdy hoes. Howdy hoes. I fucking love South Park. You know what I love about our people, bro? You know how they greet each other now, I found out? Oh, yeah. The fucking people see each other wearing the shit, and they walk up and they say,'t be a hoe share the show bro that's so awesome i saw this one uh i saw this

one person i can't remember who it was but i saw it they actually had a sticker of us on the show with a qr code of the show yes and it said don't be a hoe share the show on the back window of their fucking SUV. Oh, damn. That's fucking dope. I loved it. That was dope. I love it. Is it like tinted?

Like, did they get the color right on me? I love it. All right, so we got Saturday audio exclusive today. Special sauce. We're going to work through this. I don't know what we're going to do. We'll poll it. We'll see what people think.

I've had half a can of First Form Energy. It's not an ad. I'm cracked out of my motherfucking mind. Ready to punch some holes in the water. Yeah, that's right. I'm ready to change my name to Kyle. That's the green one. That's the green one. You should be good on that one. Domestic terrorism.

That's right. This one right here, this puts you right to the top of the list. Top of the list. Yeah. Top, top. All right. All the lists. So what are we doing here?

Yeah, man. So I was thinking about this thing. I wanted to get your take on it. So there is a saying that everything happens for a reason, right? Yep. And I personally believe that. Usually people that lose say that all the time. Well, I mean, I feel like-

They do. They take a loss. I'm just saying they take a loss and they say, oh, everything happens for a reason. And then they just stay right there their whole life. I can see that. I think I use it typically on the positive shit or when negative shit does happen and then the positive comes after. It's like, all right, well-

That's right. That's what I'm here for, right? Yep. But I guess the question is when you are going through the hard time and you have this belief that hey everything is happening for a reason you're where you are for a reason you know because of the work you've done when hard things happen and you're going through a struggle period right which you've had many of how do you get through that while also in that mindset of everything's happening for a reason like how do you look at those hard times how do you get through that while also in that mindset of everything's happening for a reason?

Like, how do you look at those hard times? How do you look at those tough struggle moments or months? Well, DJ, I'm glad you asked because it's Saturday. Here's the deal. There's two different kinds of people when it comes to the hard times. There's the kind of people that say, well, everything happens for a reason. And then they sit there the rest of their life and they don't do shit. And they say, well, you know what? It must be a bigger plan for me. And my bigger plan means that I'm going to sit

in my basement, eat my hot pockets, yelling at my mom because I don't have enough of them. Right. That's what most people do. But what winners do, they handle hard times completely different. All right. And I'm going to explain something to you. I don't give a shit what these people on the internet try to tell you. All right. Every single one of these people that comes out here and acts like they're perfect, comes out here and acts like they got all their shit together all the time, comes out, acts like it's easy, comes out, acts like they have everything in line and they don't have any problems or any stress or any anxiety or any doubt. Every single one of those people is full of shit. Okay. Because the truth is we all struggle. We all have hard times, especially

if you have ambition and drive and you want to become something that you are not yet. That brings us difficulties. That is the nature of the game. And you are going to have hard time after hard time after hard time. And the difference between winners and losers is how we adjust to these hard times. We've already talked about how losers handle it. They get punched in the face once and they're out of the game, bro. They're done. They say, hey, it wasn't for me. I didn't like that. I couldn't do it. And it is what it is. And then they just take what they can get the entire rest of their life, which ain't shit. Okay. And what do winners do? Winners handle things very differently. They understand that the path they've chosen is going to be laden with hard times. They understand the path they've chosen is going to have resistance. It's going to have struggle. It's going to have pain. It's

going to have hardship. And that is going to be a regular occurrence along the path. They understand that. And then when those days come, they don't look at it as, oh, poor me, this happened to me. They look at it as, well, fuck yeah, this happened to me. They look at it as, well, fuck yeah, I'm getting fucking tested today, motherfucker. And you know what? I'm going to pass that test. And whenever they have the hard thing that happens and then they overcome it, they gain more confidence because they overcame something that the previous version of themselves or the rest of everybody else would have just quit when it happened to them. So we have to understand test days come, they come over and over and over again. And they, the purpose of these days is so that you can prove to yourself, not the rest of the world, to yourself, that you are the kind of

person that possesses the mental fortitude, the grit, the toughness, the perseverance, the discipline to get things done regardless of what the situation is. And if you become this kind of person who can get things done regardless of what's going on, regardless of what's going on in the economy, regardless of what's going on in your personal life, regardless of how you feel, regardless of the weather, how the fuck can you be stopped by anything other than God? You cannot. Okay. So winners very much value being tested because every time they overcome the test, they look back at it and they say, yeah, fuck you. You couldn't fuck me up. I'm going to keep going. And that's the difference. They get punched in the face over and over and over again. And they get up with a fucking smile and say, that didn't kill me. I'm still going. And every

time you get up and you keep going, you're gaining momentum. You're gaining steam. You're gaining belief because you don't believe that you can do hard things until you've actually done some hard things. All right. And this is the reason, the entire reason that I put together the Live Hard program, because it's meant to condition you to do things that are difficult when you do not feel like doing them. And if you can become the kind of person who can do difficult things, especially when you'd rather do anything else, but the difficult thing, there is actually nothing that can get in your way and stop you along the way. So understand this difference. Weak people, broke people, people who lose, they have bad shit happen to them.

And they say, well, I tried. I did my best. It wasn't for me. You know what? I had this happen. It was this guy's fault. It was my mom's fault. It was my wife's fault.

It was my boss's fault. And they make all these excuses. And winners do not do that at all. They get punched in the face. They sit down for a second. and they say, fuck that. And they get back up and they keep going. And that is a very fundamental difference between people who are successful and people who aren't. How they perceive the difficult days.

I choose to perceive the difficult days as a test that has showed up intentionally to reinforce the belief that I have in myself. To reinforce what I know about myself. And if we all approach the difficult times like that, and we continue to push through, our confidence will go up tremendously. All right. So that's the difference, bro. You have to be willing to be tested. You have to understand that you're going to be tested. What have you trained to be an athlete your entire life? What if you train to play football your entire life? And all you did was practice, practice, practice, practice, practice, practice, practice, practice, practice, and you never played a fucking game.

Would you think you'd be fulfilled? Do you think you'd be happy? Do you think it'd be fun? No, it would suck. And this is what you guys are afraid of. You're afraid of the tests because you don't know if you're gonna pass it or not But the thing is is that you could only fail the test if you don't go through it. That's how you fail So start understanding this is how winners think winners look at the situation at hand the tough thing at hand

the circumstance at hand that has just punched them right in the balls and they say Yeah, that's not gonna stop me and in the balls and they say yeah that's not going to stop me and they keep going and that's what it's about bro let me let me ask you this andy how many how many people create the hard times themselves like they created that situation then called it a hard time right you know bro most people complain about all the hardships they have and all the unfairness they have and really what they're dealing with is the result of their own poor decision making right a hundred percent right that is most people's hard times most of the hard times that the average person faces are the product of the poor decisions they have made in the past

that is it and you still can't fucking address that. But dude, the thing is, is that they do not understand that the decisions that they are currently making today will have a repercussion in the future. How can you not understand this? How can you be in that big of a denial? How can you not understand that the reason you have problems today is because that past version of you made poor decisions. If you're honest with yourself, it should be very easy to see that real talk. Now today you should be able to say, okay, that's true. That is true. The reason I'm suffering and I can't pay my bills is because I fucked off and played video games for seven years. The reason I'm fat is because I ate bullshit for seven years or eight years. The reason I'm fucking, I don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend is because I look like shit. I don't make any fucking money. And why the fuck would

anybody want to date me? Be honest with yourself because when you're honest with yourself, you can fucking change it. And once you acknowledge that the decisions you made in the past were made by a different human being, and this is the beauty of it, dude. Once you understand this, once you understand that those decisions that you made in the past have created this situation that is unfavorable to you now, and you understand that completely and you are aware of it and you are willing to make different decisions, you are no longer that person. That is the old you. And even though you look like the old you and you earn like the old you because you've become aware and you're willing to make more and better decisions to

create an outcome down the road, you are now a different person right now. So you can change your life in a fucking instant by owning all of your shit and being honest with yourself about what's created most of your problems, probably all of your problems in your life, which is you. And I would highly encourage you to do that because most people never do it. Most people spend their entire lives blaming everything around them and everyone around them for their shitty ass life and their shitty situation. And they never come to the realization because they lack the courage to admit that it was them. Have the courage to look in the mirror, bro. Be honest with yourself because once you acknowledge that and you say, I'm going to do different and you commit to that, bro, your life is going to go a completely different direction.

You're going to go a completely different direction. Your friends are going to change. Your relationships are going to change. Your money's going to change. Your body's going to change. How you see yourself is going to change. Because now that you understand that you are in complete control of your outcome, do you really think you're going to continue to make these shitty decisions? You're not. Nobody will. It takes complete accountability for your past and your past decisions to come to a

place of total acceptance and total responsibility for where you're at. And once you're there and you commit to making better decisions and you fully understand, you fully understand that when you eat that food, it's going to make you fat. You fully understand that when you play those video games for 12 hours a day, it's going to cost you financially. When you fully understand that the alcohol and the fucking, all this bullshit that you do is costing you, you will cut that shit out. The problem is most people don't understand how much it's costing them. They don't understand what it's costing them because they haven't fully taken responsibility

for what they've done in the past and applied it to where they are now and decided to make new decisions forward. Because bro, here's the reality. If you reached out and touched a stove, and it was hot, and it burnt your fucking finger, and you knew that every single fucking time that you touched that stove, it's going to burn your finger, are you going to fucking touch it a second time?

No. Zero chance, because you're going to fucking stop immediately and change the behavior. And the reason most people don't is because they don't fully accept that where they are is a result of their poor decision making. It wasn't the stove's fault.

Fuck no. It wasn't anybody else's fault, bro. You put that shit in your mouth. You put that shit in your body. You did all those things that you did instead of doing the work to become the person you really want to become. You did that.

Nobody else did that. Your boss didn't fuck you over, bro. You fucked you over. Be honest. Okay? And once you're honest and you truly accept in your brain, what I do today, what I do right now is going to produce a result that's going to come out this pipeline of time down the road, whether it be 30 days,

60 days, 90 days, six months, a year, five years from now, when you understand that what you decide to do in the moment is going to change the outcome on the other side of time and you understand that to be factual fucking reality, you are going to make different decisions with your life. Period. Worst case scenario, it's one less punch. You got to fucking do it. Bro, no.

Listen, you got to understand what I'm saying. When you truly fucking understand it not kind of understand it not i watched a couple tony robbins videos and i fucking i kind of like it not not i'm you know i'm feeling more into personal i'm not talking about this i'm talking about total understanding i completely understand in my life that what I do today is coming out this pipeline on the other side as a result. So if I put in today, it's going to, if I put in the right things today, it's going to come out the other side of that pipe with the good things I want. If I don't plant the seed today, I'm not going to have a crop to harvest later.

And that's the reality of your life. And once you completely understand that, it no longer becomes this big, huge battle to do the things that you're supposed to be doing. It's not hard for me to wake up and do what I'm supposed to do. I don't wake up in the morning. And sometimes I do. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I'm like, fuck, fuck, I don't want to do any of this shit. And you know what? Those are the test days. And some of those days, bro, I'll up in the morning and I'm like, fuck, fuck. I don't want to do any of this shit.

And you know what? Those are the test days. And some of those days, bro, I'll sleep in. I'll sleep till 10 o'clock, bro. And I'll get the fuck up. And you know this to be true because I'll show up here at 11. But what happens on the days I show up here at 11? All my shit gets fucking done, bro.

It doesn't matter if I started slow. It doesn't matter if I'm self-loathing. It doesn't matter if I have doubt. It doesn't matter if I'm fucking sick. It doesn't matter if I'm self-loathing. It doesn't matter if I have doubt. It doesn't matter if I'm fucking sick. It doesn't matter if I feel like shit. It does not fucking matter. What I know needs to get done always gets done because I understand the reality of how it works. If I plant today, I'm going to harvest then. And if I don't plant today, I'm not going to harvest. And when you're in my position, what i plant today is going to feed a lot of people down the road so like it's no longer about me and that's the cool part when you start to realize like we talk about personal excellence being the ultimate rebellion when you

start to realize that these decisions that you're making today affect other people fuck dude now you're in a position where it's super easy to do the shit it's not even hard it's a no-brainer it's not even hard you know when it was hard to make these decisions for me when i fucking wanted to make a lot of money so i could drive a lamborghini when i wanted to be ripped so i could be by the pool when i wanted all these self-fulfilling outcomes that's when it was hard when it when it to, holy shit, other people actually depend on me and my example matters. And I matured as a human being. By the way, I'm still very immature. Okay, let's just get that out of the way. I'm not perfect. That's why

we do the CTI, where we talk a lot of shit. I'm not the most mature human, but I'm mature enough to understand that my actions today are going to provide an outcome later that is going to affect people's lives. It's going to affect people's families. That's a massive amount of responsibility. So it no longer is about me. And that makes it even easier. And you guys who are parents out there or new parents, you understand what I'm talking about, don't you? It's a no-brainer, right?

You understand. Bro, this shit's got to get done i gotta put the shit on the table bro because these motherfuckers depend on me so hungry a little bit so dude yeah no shit but you know that's the role of a leader the role of a leader the role of a successful person the role of a personally excellent human is to understand their role and their role is you're gonna have to do the hard shit because not everybody can do it and that's what we need more of in this country. So there's two answers to this. They're very simple. One, own your actual result that you're in right now. Understand that where you are right

now, who you are right now, the condition you're in right now is a result of decisions that someone else, a previous version of you made. This is why you don't have to beat yourself up over it. Because someone else, a different version of you who was less aware of what things actually are in reality, made these poor decisions. And they have produced this outcome that you are in, that you are very unhappy with. You don't look the way you want to look. You're not earning the way you want to earn. You don't have the relationship you want.

A lot of things are fucked up. That's okay. Because that person back there made those decisions. And because you recognize it and you own it, that that's why you have this now. Now you're a new person. So all you have to do is start making the decisions that the kind of person that you want to be would make right now. And eventually after time goes by, you become that person in real life. And that's what fake it till you make it actually means.

Fake it till you make it doesn't mean rent a fucking Lambo and stand in front of a car on fucking Instagram for views. What it actually means is fake that you're that person with your behaviors and your actions until you actually become it. So who do you want to be? What do you want to look like? How much money do you want to earn? Where do you want to be in your life? What kind of relationships do you want to be in? Then make the decisions that that person would make And after enough time passes You're going to be that person And that's how the fuck it works