REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Audio Exclusive 03: How True Winners Reward Themselves

Episode Date: February 24, 2024

In today's Audio Exclusive, Andy talks about how humility is oftentimes misconstrued by the majority of people, and how real winners reward themselves after accomplishing their goals....

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the real. Let's say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have audio exclusive number three. This is fun. I like doing this. You like these? Yeah, these little Saturday audio messages. People are digging them too. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:35 That's good talk. Our audience is so much bigger on audio. I think it's just cool to keep it at the roots. You know what I'm saying? I pay homage. I like it. Alright right so what do we got today let's drop it on i mean i got a question for you man yeah you know and i know you you've addressed this in the past in different ways but but not not in this light i want to ask you one when is it appropriate to give yourself credit and then, how do you go about doing it?
Starting point is 00:01:08 When you've built everything that you've built at this stage, or even just for the small entrepreneur that's making those fucking wins, how do you give yourself credit? How do you reward yourself in saying, yes, I did a good job, but still staying focused on the path knowing you're not all the way there yet? Rewarding yourself. That's the question. How do you do it i think that this is a very nuanced question and a very delicate line to walk when you are an entrepreneur or when you
Starting point is 00:01:37 are trying to achieve anything whether you're an athlete or musician anything people fucking up all the time yeah they do because the truth of the matter is is that we are the result of our actions we are not the result of us just being some sort of special skilled talented blessed being that's not the truth the truth is it's inputs and outputs. So when we consider the truth of our achievements, we have to understand if we are humble beings that anyone else who had executed the tasks along the way that you executed at the same level that you executed them would have very likely produced a very similar result. And that's where I see humility. When I think about humility, it is not stay humble in terms of like what your friends say from the old neighborhood or what the internet says when you show your new car. Oh, remember where you came from? You're
Starting point is 00:02:43 getting a little too big for your britches You need to stay humble Yeah, like I want to live like you, motherfucker Why don't you just shut the fuck up over there, okay? True humility is understanding that it's not you It's the actions that you take that produce the results, okay? And if you imagine a bell curve And this is actually the reason most people have problems
Starting point is 00:03:06 maintaining a successful path in life okay most people err either to the point where they never give themselves any credit and they're always a piece of shit even if they're doing okay which is not good mentally or they err on the other side which is is I'm the man. I'm the best. Nobody can fucking touch me. Nobody's as good as me. And both of those are bad and they're bad for different reasons. When you underestimate yourself and you lie to yourself about being worse than what you actually are, you demoralize yourself unintentionally and create a situation where it's not worth
Starting point is 00:03:43 it to keep going because you can never break out of the cycle of thinking that you're shit. And if you always think you're shit, the universe is going to bring you that life. That's what you're going to be delivered. On the other hand, when you think you're better than everyone and you think you know everything and you think you're the best that's ever been, that leaves no room for improvement. Because if you're already the best and you already know anything, how can you get any better if that space is already full? So we don't want to be there. And what most people do is they, if you imagine a bell curve, all right, and a bell curve starts off on the left-hand side is flat, and then
Starting point is 00:04:22 it comes up and it creates a curve, and then it goes back down and trails off, all right? If you don't know what a bell curve is, you shouldn't be listening to the show. But here's what happens. People start off on the left-hand flat side of the bell curve, and they don't know shit. They don't know a fucking thing. And because they know they don't know a thing, they are willing to learn.
Starting point is 00:04:43 You know, it's like when someone starts off in a new career, I don't know what I'm doing. Tell me what to do. Okay. Do this, do this, do this, do this, do this. You go practice all these things and you start to execute these things and you start to move to the right across the bell curve and you start to move up and you start to have a little bit of success and then you start to rise. Okay. And now you're going up the curve and you start to get better and better and better and better and better and you will continue to get better as long as you practice the skills and execute the skills but for most people along the way what happens is is they start to believe that their execution of the skills is actually just who they are and so they cross over from i'm a result of the actions that I've taken to I'm a
Starting point is 00:05:27 result of being born. All right. And what happened? That's the hubris of our ego. That's our ego saying we're the best. We're the greatest. We don't even have to do this other shit because we're still going to win anyway, because we're us. And what happens is, is they start to crest on that bell curve and they get to a top, they get to a peak. And where that peak happens is different for everybody. And some people never get to a peak like this because they continue to say, okay, I still don't know much. I'm just going to continue to execute. I'm going to show up every day. Every day is day one. I got a long way to go. Any of that sound familiar? Okay. The reason I'm like that is because I don't want to crest out the way you crest out is when
Starting point is 00:06:06 you start telling yourself hey i'm the best i i can do no harm i don't even have to do this other shit and what happens is you hit the peak of that curve and your ego starts to tell you a message that actually isn't true and you can tell it's not true because after that your results start to decline and so people start to go down the curve. And now they're in this mode where they're like, fuck, I'm just on a losing streak. It's no better. It'll turn around. And it's not until they get to the bottom of that curve on the right-hand side again
Starting point is 00:06:35 where they say, fuck, what happened? Okay. And this is when their life is in shambles and their wife has left and their money is dried up and they're not winning at work anymore. And then they start to get humble again and they say, fuck. All right, well, what do I got to do? So they open themselves up again for more information and more learning. And then they start to execute. And then magically, right? Like magically with quotations, they start to move up the curve again. And most people will spend their entire lives going up and
Starting point is 00:07:06 down and up and down. And it creates a wave of bell curves. All right. So we have peaks and valleys and peaks and valleys and peaks and valleys. And the true winners, the people who create the greatest things in the world, who become the most impactful people in history, who do things that no one else has ever done who earn more than everybody who build more than everybody who create more than everybody who become more than everybody else those people figure out that if they are going up the curve if they continue to execute and always keep in mind that it is not them but it is actually the result of the actions they are taking.
Starting point is 00:07:46 And they dedicate themselves to continue to take those actions and keep learning more and more and more and more. They never peak. So they keep moving up and up and up and up and up, and they never round off the curve and come back down. And that's the difference between greatness and pretty much everybody else. So when we talk about rewarding ourselves, it's a very fine line of how we want to do that because we don't want to tell ourselves we're too great because then we'll crest off the curve, right? And we'll lose sight of what got us there. But we also don't want to tell ourselves that we're shit. All right. So we just got to be honest with ourselves. Are we doing well? Am I executing? And
Starting point is 00:08:26 the best way to do this is to rate yourself based on what you did today. What did I do today? Did I win today or did I lose today? Tomorrow. Don't worry about what you did today. Worry about what you're doing tomorrow. Did I win today? Did I lose today? This goes into the win the day method, the power list that we talk about episode 16. If you haven't listened to episode 16, you should go listen to it because I have actually systemized this into a process that will keep you on the track of continuing to go up the curve without cresting off of it. So when we think about how do we tell ourselves we're good or bad, we just got to be honest, you know?
Starting point is 00:09:07 And so, like, you asked me about me. Like, when I'm feeling down, because, like, I do get down, all right? You're human. It happens. Yeah, but I do get down because, bro, when you try to corral greatness into humility, sometimes you get discouraged, okay? So, when you're trying to be this great fucking, whatever it is you're doing, and you're also trying to remain humble, but you're producing
Starting point is 00:09:30 good results. You have this propensity to compare yourself to bigger and bigger and bigger people. So like, if I compare myself to Jeff Bezos, of course, I feel like I'm fucking way behind. Right. And that's a shitty feeling. So dude, when, you know, when I, when I, when I'm, when I'm feeling down, dude, I got to fucking tell myself what I've actually done, bro. I built a business worth 10 figures. I built a business worth nine figures. I've built two number one podcasts. I built the most popular mental toughness program that's ever existed in the history of the planet. We've transformed hundreds of thousands of lives. We've created thousands of jobs. I'm invested in a whole bunch of other companies
Starting point is 00:10:06 that are eventually going to become household names. And these are things I've actually done. So I have to sit down and actually be like, wait a minute, dude, you're doing okay. You've done this, you've done this, you've done this, you've done this, you've done this. But then I let it go. I use it to bring me out of the low
Starting point is 00:10:23 to where it gets me re-centered. And I don't spend too much time saying I'm the champion. And when I start to feel like I'm the champion, that's when I look at Bezos and I'm like, bro, you ain't doing shit. You know, I look at Phil Knight, what he did with Nike. I'm like, bro, you haven't done shit. You're a little booger on their nose. Just remember that. So it's an internal dialogue that you have to like use to keep yourself in the rails. And the honest, the truth is, is that when you're low, tell yourself the good things that you've done, acknowledge the good things. And when you figure, when you start to feel too good, stop yourself and say, wait a minute, I got a long way to go. You know, like people will come
Starting point is 00:10:59 up to me and they will say things like, man, congrats on all the success. It's so awesome. I'll say, Hey man, got a long way to go. Okay. That's my way of recentering myself immediately so that I don't absorb that. You see what I'm saying? And, you know, this idea of every day being day one, because every day is day one, because I'm not worried about what I did yesterday or the day before that. And I'm not worried about what I did tomorrow. I'm worried about, did I win today? And if you always worry about, did you win win today and you just win today every single day, eventually your life is going to look like a win, which is what that episode in the powerless system is all about.
Starting point is 00:11:33 So there's nuance to it. Sure. And it's a technique that you have to learn. You don't want to be too high. You don't want to be too low. The truth of the matter is that we that, you know, we've all heard this quote, things are never as good as you think they are, and they're never as bad as you think they are. And that's the truth. So we have to be honest with ourselves about our own feedback that
Starting point is 00:11:53 we give. And we have to be aware enough to know when our ego is actually taking control. And then we have to tell ourselves the proper internal dialogue messages that help us stay centered. Because the truth is, you know, a lot of people will advocate for always building yourself up, but that's not good either. Because if you always build yourself up and you think you're the shit and you're not actually shit, you're going to cap out no matter what, because when you think you know everything and you think you're at the best, how the fuck can you get any better? You see what I'm saying? So it's very important to stay balanced. and most of the people who have been ultra ultra ultra successful in life they are very balanced people they don't they don't
Starting point is 00:12:32 necessarily whip out their big dick and say this is what the fuck i've done at every chance those are insecure people right but when someone challenges them they might say hey i've done this shit fuck you right exactly so who the fuck are you you haven't done any of the shit i've done fuck you you know i'm saying every once in a while i gotta whip that out on people because i get a lot of these internet people that start thinking you know and i gotta be like oh really have you done any of this shit right you know right let me ask you this and i love this i love that how do you what do you say to the people who have maybe been rewarding themselves with material things?
Starting point is 00:13:06 Is it okay, one, is it okay to reward yourself with material things? I mean, you have probably one of the best car collections, for example, right? Were those cars rewards for yourself? They started out that way, but now it's a passion. Right, so it changes, right? Yeah. I mean, I could tell you a a passion. Right. So it changes, right? Yeah. So how do you... I mean, I could tell you a story about every single one of those cars about something I
Starting point is 00:13:28 did in my life that triggered me to go get it. Right. Yeah. So it definitely is like... That's a little game I play with myself. When I do this, I get this. When I do that, I do this. Right.
Starting point is 00:13:36 You see what I'm saying? But material things is another topic. You know, there's a lot of people out here who shit on material success. And that's a very stupid thing to do because for some people, that's their whole driving force for what they're doing. You know, I was one of those people. When I was 17, oh, fuck, dude, since I was 8, I've been a huge car person. I just tell the story, bro. I saw a white Lamborghini Countach when I was 8 years old.
Starting point is 00:14:04 And I didn't know what the fuck it was because Cause it looked like a spaceship. And we were in gas stations. Hey dad, what's that? My dad's like, that's a Lamborghini Countach. You could have one of those. If you work real fucking hard, I decided on that day, no matter fucking what I'm having that. All right. And it changed the way I looked at life. I no longer looked at like, Oh, you know, like I i started i became outcome driven immediately and dude my whole childhood i had lemonade stands baseball car stands i sold light bulbs door to door i did all the shit i did everything i could to try and hustle you know within the realm of legal okay yeah no for real you know and uh and i wanted to become a businessman and i wanted to
Starting point is 00:14:42 become an entrepreneur and anybody who was around me growing up will vouch for that. Like that was always what drove me. It wasn't sports, it was business. And, you know, so I grew up my whole life wanting to have this dream of owning cool cars. And that dream, having the dream of having cool cars, carried me through the first 10 years of business. The first three years of business, I didn't get paid at all. I worked other jobs to keep the store open, and so did Chris. The next seven years, we made $695 per month for a total of $58,000 for the first 10 years.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Okay? So what the fuck do you think got me through all that time? It was all of these material goals, right? And a lot of people will shit on people and they will say, if you have material goals, you're, you're, you're immoral or greedy, you're greedy, or you're materialistic. But what they don't realize is that for some people, these are the things that pull them through the difficult times when there is no results to encourage them. So it's a very irresponsible thing that some of these guys do when they shit on material success, because what you're doing is you're stealing people's dreams
Starting point is 00:15:56 and saying those dreams aren't worthy. When in reality, what eventually happens is you grow and you, you achieve those dreams. And then you realize that it's not really about those dreams anyway at that point and once you get to that you get to a more mature place okay and i still love cars bro i'm never gonna fall out of love with cars i'm a passionate car collector that's what i do and the community the culture about it, I fucking enjoy and I'm passionate about. So, but what happens is, is you grow to this place through the process where you start to realize that this isn't about you. This is about the people around you. And so now, you know, if I had, if I had talked to one of these gurus who shits on material shit at five years in, when I was making fucking no money and i'm
Starting point is 00:16:46 struggling my ass off and they had convinced me that my dream was bullshit and i quit how many of these people that have we've provided thousands of fucking careers across the companies i own how many of those people would have that career fucking zero okay so we have to understand that we shouldn't shit on people's material desires because those material desires help drive them through the grind and then once they achieve them they usually mature to a different level where they become totally purpose driven and they become mission driven and driven to create for the people around them and produce for the people around them that have supported them. So it becomes a totally different game. Like if Elon Musk had quit when he got his McLaren F1, which was in the late 90s and
Starting point is 00:17:36 said, fuck, I just got my McLaren. We wouldn't have all this shit that he's doing. You see what I'm saying? There's fucking hundreds. He probably employs hundreds of thousands of people. You see? Right. So to me, that's bad. That's right? There's fucking hundreds. He probably employs hundreds of thousands of people. You see? Right. And you're going to tell me that's bad?
Starting point is 00:17:47 That's right. It's not bad. People don't understand this. You know, there's a lot of, you may not understand cars. You may not understand any of this shit, but you shouldn't shit on people's dreams because when you shit on people's dreams, you're effectively canceling the better part of the result that happens because that dream pulls theming the better part of the result that happens because that dream pulls them through the hard part. Bro, if someone had convinced me to quit because they told me I was
Starting point is 00:18:12 materialistic or that I was morally fucked up for wanting that shit, bro, how many millions of people who have done Live Hard wouldn't have done it, okay? Hundreds of thousands of transformations through First Form wouldn't have happened. Thousands of jobs wouldn't have happened. None of these companies would exist. This show wouldn't exist. All you guys who have improved your life from the MFCEO project, that would have never happened. You understand? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:39 So we're cutting off the bloom of the flower because we don't like the way that it's growing in the beginning. That's not okay. You know what I'm saying? So material things are definitely great to pursue and enjoy as long as you realize that in the big picture, they don't really mean shit. And eventually you're going to graduate from being someone who's driven by those things to someone who's driven to accomplish a mission or a purpose that involves the benefit of many other people. And that's usually what happens to people. Most people don't stay in this materialistic mindset forever. They evolve from it. But if we kill them when they're in that phase and then just the beginning, bro, it's very irresponsible because we don't know what good's going to come of it later.

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