REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Balance Is Not Balance, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO96

Episode Date: September 27, 2016

There's two ways to look at balance. There's the way average people understand it: it's a daily, possibly weekly, task. It's calibrating the different events and activities and obligations of our lives so that they all get equal time. But successful people look at balance far differently. Essentially, it's intense, single-minded investment up front with dividends later. If you want to be financially successful, you have to look at it the same way.

I want to be a motherfucking hustler. You better ask somebody. What is up guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy, I'm your host, and I am the motherfucking CEO. Guys, if this is your first time listening, what is a motherfucking CEO? Well, listen, a motherfucking CEO is the baddest motherfucker that you can be. All right. You have to understand, although this is an entrepreneurial podcast, being the entrepreneur of yourself, taking responsibility for yourself, looking at yourself as a business is a key to living an excellent, fulfilling and awesome life. And dude, what fun is life without going through

it with a little fucking swagger? You know what I'm saying? You want to go through it with like a little meek mouse, all nimbly bimbly. And if you know the movie I'm talking about, you're fucking awesome. But do you want to be a meek little mouse or do you want to go through life learning how to be a badass motherfucker? And that's what we talk about here. It's not just business, it's life. Okay, guys, today I did something a little bit different. I actually opened up my Snapchat, which I don't often do and ask people what they wanted me to talk about. And I had a number of people, dozens of people, say the same thing over and over again.

And that's what I'm going to talk about today, which is balance. So many people asked me, Andy, I've got this girlfriend and her anniversary, she wants to go out and spend, you know, like 500 bucks. And all I can think about is putting that money in my business, you know, should I just dump her? Or then I said, Hey, Andy, how do I balance my family and work life and friends with my new business? I'm trying to start. Hey, Andy, you know, how do I accomplish all my business goals and still have time for my friends to go out with? Here, let me answer this for you.

You fucking can't. Okay. There's two different ways to look at balance, guys. There's two different ways. And the average person looks at balance this way. They look at balance as a daily, possibly weekly task. All right. I'm going to work X amount of hours a day. Then when I get off of work, I'm going to spend time with my friends. Then I'm going to, then I'm going to do this. Okay. And I have a nice balanced day. They might look at it like a week. All right.

I'm going to work hard Monday through Friday. And then on the weekends, I'm going to have time for my friends. That's if they're like long-sighted. All right. There's also a completely other way to look at balance. And this is how successful people over the course of their life, we're talking financially, look at balance. They look at balance like this. I can work hard for 10 years and then do whatever the fuck I want the rest of my life. I can work hard for 15 years, give it all I have, do every fucking thing possible, and then I get to do whatever I want for the rest of my life. That's balance, is it not? Okay, so it's all how you look at what balance is supposed to be. Here's the reality, guys. You cannot go through life being, most people, let me rephrase what I was about to say.

Most people will go through life trying to be loyal to people that they have no obligation to be loyal to. That is, for example, high school friends, grade school friends, this girlfriend or this, that. You're going to progress, okay? Your goal is to try to progress and grow and be as good as you can and build this awesome life that you dream about. If your friends are not on that same track, when you get to that point, those people will not be in your circle of influence anyway. So what happens is a lot of times where I see is people will sacrifice their business or the things they're trying to build for these

friendships. And that's a noble thought. I get i'm not saying that you know i'm not trying to be a jerk but i see people do this like my girlfriend now doesn't want me to work this many hours so should i just dump her or should i you know have more balance in my life dude first of all your girlfriend now probably ain't going to be your girlfriend a year from now she probably isn't going to be there for the next fucking 20 years when you're building whatever it is you're building. So if she's not supporting it now, she sure as fuck isn't going to support it for that long. So I think you know the answer to the question. You just don't want to fucking admit it. All right. Lots of people waste their entire potential life being loyal to these people, quote unquote, loyal, quoteunquote good friends to these people who are not good friends in return

they are not supporting you if they were great friends would they not be on your team would they not be supporting you to do and fulfill your dreams okay good friends is two-way street motherfuckers and. And I see lots and lots and lots, and this is specifically for you young people, lots and lots of young people who are in their twenties, who are sacrificing what they really want for what they want now. And that is they want a relationship now, or they want to stay with this girl now, or this guy now, and that person doesn't support them. So what they do is they buffer their true reality of what they really want to come back down to this relationship that's going on now. And then in three, five, seven years from now, when that relationship finally runs its course, because you can't change your core values and what you truly want in life, you're going to be unhappy. And that relationship is going to fail inherently.

So what difference does it fucking make if it fails now and you get to work for the next seven years towards your goal? Or if it fails in seven years and you gave up seven years of working towards your goal? I think you know the answer to that. All right, guys. So look and think about what it is you really want. Because life has a way of pulling you off course. People have a way of pulling you off course. Not everybody is going to share in your ambition. Not everybody is going to share in your goals. Not everybody is going to want you to move past where you are. They're going to say things to you like, oh, you're being selfish or you're being materialistic or, oh, you're being selfish or, oh, you're being materialistic or, oh, you're being unreasonable or, oh, you're, you're being a dreamer or I heard all this shit guys, my whole life,

all of it. And I still hear it. And you know what? I don't associate with people that say that shit to me and you shouldn't either. Okay. People are going to tell you, you work too much. You work too hard. Your priorities are out of whack. Recognize any of those things? Okay? Are your priorities out of whack or are their priorities out of whack? Or is it that your nature and their nature just don't go together? Okay? And I'll give you a hint. It's the last thing. There's nothing wrong with somebody who wants to live an average life if that's what makes them happy. But if you don't want to live an average life and you're with somebody who does, and you guys are always constantly fighting, she's constantly nagging, or he's constantly nagging or putting you down or not supporting you, you will not make it. It is impossible because success

guys is fucking hard. It takes all your energy. It takes all your time. It takes all your dedication. And if you have someone trying to pull that away from you, you can't possibly give what it takes to make your dreams a reality. So you have to audit your circle. You have to look around and say, yes, this person believes in me. Yes, this person supports me. Yes, this person wants me to succeed or no, this person doesn't. And no, this person thinks I'm being crazy. And no, this person doesn't believe in me. And that's hard. That's hard. It's hard. I'm not going to sit here and say it's easy. It's easier for me because I've been doing it for 20 years. It's hard, man. You know, there's been girls that I really cared about that I had to cut out of my life.

There's been friends that I really cared about. I had to cut out of my life because we didn't share the same ideals for what life was about. You know, they were happy doing their thing and, and I was okay leaving them alone and letting them be happy, but they weren't supportive of what I was trying to do. So we were no longer able to be friends. Does that make sense? Okay. Just because someone, just because you're okay with someone being okay, doesn't mean that they're okay with you being you. And you have to audit yourself and be aware of these things all the time, guys, because you will spend a disproportionate and, and crazy amount of effort and energy and time fighting and struggling and pulling through these quote unquote toxic relationships,

that will actually keep you from being able to apply the energy needed to make success happen for you, whatever success might be. Okay. So when we talk about balance, there's a couple things in play here, but the main thing really is that you're not surrounding yourself with people who see the perspective of life and balance the same way that you might see it, or possibly you could be seeing it the average person's way, which is on a daily slash weekly basis. Okay. Success is hard. Building a business is hard. Being successful and high achiever inside of another company is hard. You are going to face criticism. You are going to face family and friends and people that you think care about you telling you you're wasting your time. You're, you're swimming down the wrong fucking river. You know, you're, you're on a pipe dream.

You're going to hear all this shit and dude, that's hard to hear for people that you trust people that you love people that you care about but guys I'm telling you you have to fucking cut that shit out of your life if people are gonna be that negative and that that unsupportive of you you owe it to yourself to remove that from the situation because what's ultimately going to end up happening guys is you're going to end up growing older. You're going to miss a ton of opportunities. You're going to get to a point where you look back and you say, God, I could have done this for the last 20 years and I'd be here. And then what's going to happen is you're going to have regret. You're going to become bitter and you're going to feel like you wasted your life, guys.

And there is absolutely nothing worse than that. Rethink what you think about balance. Audit your circle. Control your energy. Control your inputs and your external outputs. Are you a good friend? Are you putting out good energy? Are you supporting people that deserve your support? Think about it, guys. Balance isn't balance.