REAL AF with Andy Frisella - DESPERATION APPRECIATION: Why You Should Embrace Your Desperation And How To Use It To Your Advantage, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO287

Episode Date: February 21, 2019

Do you want to succeed, but don't feel like you have the resources? Building a multi-million-dollar business from the ground up, there were tons of times I felt desperate & without options. I eventually found out why that was a good thing.

I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon. Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me, gotta lose. What is up, guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host. And I am suffering from a super sore throat. If you're wondering why I didn't have podcasts for you last week, I have been struggling with my voice. So it's kind of hard to do a podcast when I have no voice. I don't know what it is, man. I keep getting this little thing and I feel great, but my voice just isn't there. So bear with me on that. I'm going to do the best I can here because I got some cool stuff that I want to share with you today. If this is your first time listening, welcome. All right. This is an

entrepreneurship podcast. This is a personal development podcast and it is one of the top podcasts in the world. And the reason that it's one of the top podcasts in the world is not because we spend millions of dollars on advertising it or shoving it down people's throat. It's because the people who listen value the content. And I appreciate you guys sharing the show every chance you get, you know, that's the little fee. I don't have 20 minutes of advertisements for you to listen to, uh, which I could, but I don't. I just ask that if you enjoy the content, tell a friend, tell one friend. You don't have to tell a million friends. You don't got to brag about it on the internet, but you know, when it comes up, like what's the good

shit you're listening to, where are you getting good stuff from, you know, throw me a bone. That's all I'm asking. And that's my little fee that I asked for the show. Today, guys, is Thursday Thunder, all right? And typically what I try to do is two to three podcasts a week, usually Tuesdays, Thursdays, and sometimes Sunday called Sunday Sermon. Today, I've got a little hodgepodge of topics that I want to share with you. First off, something really cool happened to me today. I was in the gym working out, which is just my neighborhood gym, Exist Fitness. I've trained there for many, many, many years. And there's a couple guys in there that I talked to, and you guys know how it is, man. You have friends at the gym that you know, but you might not know who they are or know their names.

They're just your bros in the gym. And, um, I was talking to, uh, and I've, I've been talking to, uh, these two guys who are always, we're always talking about cars and lifting and all this stuff. And, um, today I got to talk into one of them and it turns out that we actually knew each other from 20 years ago at another gym and we had basically you know we've basically grown 20 years since then so we hadn't recognized each other which is weird because I've been talking to this guy now for you know the last year in my gym and not realizing that we knew each other 20 years ago and this is a guy his name is Wayne and he is somebody that back whenever I was a kid lifting weights I wanted to be like man he was a strong dude lifted heavy and went in the gym and did his

work and today was kind of funny because we got to talking and we were somewhere in the conversation he's like yeah I used to train over at this gym and I'm like that's where I used to train I'm like what's your name because I thought he resembled that guy that and he was like I'm Wayne I'm Wayne. I'm like, dude, I know who you are. And I knew all the shit about him. But anyway, it was just funny. Cause we reconnected after 20 years, um, officially today, but we have been talking, uh, for the last year. So it's just funny how things like that work out. But we got to talk and we were talking about, uh, his son who was 20, 21 years old. And when he got done with high school, he decided he wanted to move to California. So he does producing music beats and does music and things like that. So he moved out to California because he wanted to create a career out there. And that's

where he currently is. And his name is Gavin. And I think he's probably listening to this. So Gavin, I'm going to tell a little bit about your story. Don't freak the fuck out too much. But I think this is a great story for everybody to resonate with. And we started talking and he was telling me how, you know, it's not easy, man. You know, you go out there, shit's expensive. It's hard to meet people. It's hard to, it's hard to do this. But what really struck me about this, um, was Wayne's perspective on it. And he was like, look, man, he's like, I was telling him, you know, you're going to have hangups. You're going to have things where you fall, but you have to go out and try to chase your dreams. And I thought that was awesome, man, coming from a parent,

because so many parents out there do not encourage that to happen. And what happens is we go out, we take the realistic route, and we never give a real effort to the things that we want to do because we don't have the encouragement from the people that we trust and the people that we love. And that ultimately, you know, creates a what if scenario, because the truth is, most people don't fall into something that is amazing and great. Most people reside themselves to an average existence. And then they, you know, they get to be 40, 50, 60 years old. And they're like, fuck, man, I never really tried to do that. So, you know, what if I would have done that? Or what if I would have done this? And they have these constant questions they live with. And I just want to give a shout out to Wayne, man, for A, encouraging

Gavin to go out and pursue this. And I also want to send a message to Gavin. Look, dude, you're doing the part right now that everybody else is afraid to do. All right. And that's commendable. Most people do not have the balls, do not have the courage, do not have the fortitude to go out and chase something that they ultimately want. You know, most people are going to go out, they're going to try something for a fucking day. Then they're going to say, oh, well, that's not for me. And they're going to go back home, live with their parents. And my message to you is this dude, look, this is going to be hard. There's going to be days you want to quit. There's going to be a million times where you're second guessing yourself. There's going to be a

million times when you're frustrated and you're angry and you're looking at all these other dudes who are your age and they're already doing this. And you've got to keep in mind, you are one conversation away. You are one meeting the right person away. You're one opportunity away from getting a break. And so right now, Gavin, you need to be focused on becoming the best that you possibly can be at your craft while at the same time making sure that you meet people who are connected to this industry. Because here's the thing, dude. Most people think that if they meet the right person, they're going to make it. But that's not true because most people put all the emphasis on who they know, who they need to meet,

and they try to go out there and make these connections. But at the same time, they're not working on their skillset. And because their skillset isn't up to what they needed to be to be successful, when they meet this right person who has the connections, who has the in, who has the ability to put you on, your skills aren't where they need to be and you blow that shot. So dude, this is my advice to you. Number one, keep doing what you're doing. Number two, realize it's going to take time. Number three, use that time to your advantage to get better and practice every fucking minute that you can at becoming great at what you do. I'm sure you're good, but you need to get great. And four, start

to network with the people that you know can get you where you need to go. All right? Because here's the truth, man. You can make this, you can make it happen. You can force it into existence, but you're not going to do it sitting back wondering, you know, why does so-and-so have these opportunities I have or I don't have? Why, why is it easier for so-and-so? Why is it this? Why is it that? Why do people have success when they're 16 and I'm fucking 21? That's all bullshit. It doesn't matter. The world is different. We have opportunities we never had. You can't put yourself on other people's timelines. All right. So stay with what you're doing.

You're doing the right thing and it's going to work if you don't quit. All right. And do the things I said. Now, with that being said, I want to, I want, it got me thinking and I, and I just came from the gym. This conversation just happened, not even an hour ago. And it got me thinking about what I wanted to talk to you guys about today and what I really wanted to like the message that I wanted to lay out for you guys. You know, and all day long, I get emails that say basically the same thing. And they'll say, Andy, I want to do this, but I don't have the resources I need to succeed. I don't have the money I need to succeed. I don't have the investors. I don't have the connections. I don't have rich parents. I don't have this or that or whatever it might be. And when I read these emails, I automatically know this person doesn't fucking

get it. They might get it at some point, but the reality is they probably aren't ever going to get it. Okay. They're always going to fall short. They're always going to be on the losing end. They're never going to build the life they end. They're never going to build the life they want and they're never going to cultivate that winning character trait because at the end of the day, they don't understand what winners understand. They don't realize that the lack of advantage, the lack of options, and the lack of resources is actually a winner's greatest asset. Let me give you an example, okay, back from my early days in business. When Chris and I started out in business, all right, we didn't have investors. We didn't have any money. We didn't have a trust fund. We didn't have cash to fall

back on. We didn't have a job to fall back on. We didn't have parents that were going to bail us out. We knew we had to go out and we had to fucking earn every single cent and every single opportunity, every tiny little sale, every ounce of growth, every little piece of this business. We were going to have to earn the hard way. And you know what? I was bitter about that. I didn't like that. When I was young, I wanted the easy route.

You know, back then we didn't have the internet. The internet wasn't around. So we had to go door to door to meet people and do shit and create opportunities for ourselves. People don't even think about doing that anymore. They just want to get the quick route. Okay. But that's what we had to do to gather business. We had to go door to door, shake hands. Hey, what's up? I'm Andy. I own supplement superstores. We're down the road. This is what we do. If you ever need us, we're here. Okay. And I did that a trillion, billion, million, whatever fucking times, okay, as much as it took.

All right, I knew if we were going to succeed, that's what we had to do. We did not have a choice. Let me repeat that for you so you understand it. We didn't have a choice. We had zero options. We had no other way to get where we wanted to go than to pull ideas literally out of thin air, jerry-rigged solutions, and work as hard as we fucking could

to force things into existence. What else were we going to do? There was nothing else we could do. Okay. It was either do that or fucking fail. And failing wasn't something that either of us were ever willing to accept. Now, did we want to quit sometimes? Yeah. Did we get angry sometimes? Yeah. Did we get frustrated every fucking day? Did people laugh at us all the time? So what? It doesn't matter. We understood that if shit was going to happen, we had to make it happen. Okay. That's how all great businesses start.

And here's what you have to understand. And this is something that people who come from literally nothing and build great shit understand, but they don't understand it until they're on the back end of success. Because having zero resources is the best fucking thing that could have ever happened to us, okay? It was from having literally nothing that we learned to develop everything we needed to accomplish anything in business and in life, okay? Having nothing created the skill set. It was from having no other options that we learned to make every conceivable situation

work in our favor. And today, guess what? We go up against companies in our industry that have way more money than us. They have much deeper pockets. They have every reason to literally stomp the shit out of us. And guess what happens? We fucking destroy them. And you what happens? We fucking destroy them. And you know why? Because over time, we learned to value resourcefulness over our resources.

Let me explain what that means, okay? We learned that we didn't have to have the tools that everybody else had because we developed talents to make up for it and executed our plans with tenacity, all right? We had urgency. And guess what? We had to get creative. And because we had to get creative and our skills got better and sharper and more advanced, we raised our standards of effort and excellence higher and higher. And guess what happens when everybody else is relying on money to fix the problem, we're able to rely on our grit, our endurance, our perseverance, our resourcefulness, and yes, our creativity to

beat the other guy. Okay. And let me explain this in practical terms. If you have a company and you won't realize this when you're starting out, if you're competing against people who have unlimited resources, they are always going to lean on their resources to get them out of trouble. If you're competing against someone who doesn't have a lot of resources, those are the motherfuckers that you have to watch out for long-term because those are the guys who are going to learn to have sharp skills and get by with

things other than just money, which means 20 years from now, that guy is going to have a lot more skills than the guy who gets financed with an unlimited bankroll. And guess who's going to win when it comes down to it? It's going to be the guy who has the fucking skills. So what I'm trying to get you to understand here is that you not having the connections. You not having the resources. You not having the resources, you not having the money, you not having the opportunity is a great thing because it's going to teach you how to be a fucking weapon in battle when it comes down to it five, 10 years from now. All right. But you can't see that in the beginning. I didn't see it,

all right? But here's the thing. It will happen. True winners understand that what drives improvement the most is a sense of desperation. The best ideas, the most valuable skills, the highest standards come when you literally have no fucking choice. When it's do or die and your back's against the wall and having no resources, having zero other options is what forces you to get better. It's what drives you to become the best and equips you with the tools you need to succeed long term. This is why winners love it when they lack resources and their backs against the wall. They love when there's no other options

because it forces action. If you don't understand that and embrace that, you do not have the mindset of a winner and you're also missing a critical point. Having tons of options and assets is actually a liability because like I said before, the people with lots of resources end up relying on those resources rather than developing and improving their skill set within themselves. They rely on what they have rather than who they are and what they can do with who they are. That's why they end up losing because they're missing a critical component. Your skills, your weapons, the things that are going to make you win long term are going to be the things that are within you.

That way, if you ever lose your money or you lose your business or you lose whatever it is you have, you're going to still possess those skills, which make you fucking valuable. All right, look into it and you'll see there are many, many instances throughout history where a ragtag band of desperate people kick the living shit out of a well-funded adversary with loads and loads and loads of unlimited resources. It happens all the time in sports. It happens all the time in business and it happens all the time in war. Okay. And guess what else that happens all the time in life. When you don't have the money for marketing, when you don't have the latest weight machines or weight equipment, when you don't have an unlimited supply of guns and bombs,

you have to come up with good ideas. You've got to strategize properly and you have to become a true expert at what you do. And most importantly, guess what? You got to learn your shit and not just learn it, but master it so that you can become the person who's dominant in your place of business. That's what having zero options forces you to do. It forces you to become the master. It forces you to become the guy with the sharpest skills. It forces you to become the most knowledgeable. And it forces you to become equipped for the

journey. All right. And those other guys, the guys with the money, the guys with the resources, the guys with the connections, they're never going to fucking have that. A lot of you young bucks have to understand that you need to embrace the sense of desperation. And guess what? A lot of you experienced people, you people who are making decent money and you're living a comfortable life. You've got to figure out how to create a sense of desperation because right now you might've made a few bucks. You might drive a nice car. You might live in a decent house, but you're

comfortable and you don't feel that desperation and you don't feel that heat and you don't feel a few bucks. You might drive a nice car. You might live in a decent house, but you're comfortable and you don't feel that desperation and you don't feel that heat and you don't feel that fucking fire. And guess what happens to you? You're going to fucking lose because you're going to get beat with someone who has it. All right. You have to understand creating a sense of desperation is just as important as having it. Right. And at the end of the day, a lack of resources is the ultimate and completely necessary teacher of success. Having nothing is how you develop everything you need to accomplish anything. Having no other option is how you're going to learn to make every conceivable situation work and

your benefit. And the bottom line is this, necessity just isn't the mother of creativity like a lot of people will say. It's the mother of fucking winning. So appreciate and work with the fact that you don't have the resources. Consider that your greatest asset because it is. Embrace that sense of desperation, make it work for you, and that desperation is going to lead to domination. you