REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Everyone You Admire Was Once a Fraud, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO54

Episode Date: March 17, 2016

As you pursue greatness, do you ever feel like a fraud?  Do you even feel like, deep down, maybe everyone thinks you're someone that you're not?  Don't sweat it. Everyone who has ever accomplished anything has wrestled with the same thing, too.

I do it quick, never run the sidelines, I only hustle, I never take a day off, I only work, work, work, I don't mess around, kid, I only care, I already never seen a skit show All I do is work, all I do is work, all I do is work Hey guys, what's up? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy and I am the motherfucking CEO. My goal for you guys is to get you to be motherfucking CEOs. But Andy, I don't have a business. Yeah, you do. You have the business of you. And do you want to be a little bitch CEO or do you want to be a badass motherfucking CEO? Pretty sure you want the latter. Today, we're going to bring you some Thursday Thunder. We

don't usually have the pastor of disaster in here on Thursday Thunder, but today we do. And I don't even need, you know, what do you want to hit on? Yeah, well, I'm going to be a little self-serving here because something kind of bizarre, I mean, it felt good, but it was bizarre. It kind of threw me off a little bit. Happened at the Gary V event for me. You know what that was? What's that? I had people coming up, wanting selfies and autographs. And I had a very interesting response to that. Like I, I got in my car and drove home that night and I was like, I, I, it seems kind of weird. Like I feel like a fraud a little bit. Like,

did I deserve to be part of that? Did I deserve to have that kind of attention? I actually happened to come across, because I'm going through your stuff, and I actually happened to come across something that you wrote where basically you said that, listen, at some point when you're trying to be great and you're trying to do something great, you're going to feel like a fraud. And one of the things you said was, I guarantee that everybody that you've ever admired, who's ever accomplished anything at one point or another, has felt like a fraud.

Yeah, man. You know, let's break this down. We're all regular people at the end of the day. The biggest celebrity that you guys follow in life, for me, the biggest celebrity I follow is The Rock. Okay? I guarantee you, and this is why I like The Rock. The Rock's a normal dude. You know what I'm saying? I guarantee you him, he's

probably used to it now, but when he first started having quote unquote fans or having attention, he felt like there was a little bit inside of him that was like, whoa, this is weird. I'm just, I'm just Dwayne. You know what I mean? And I remember that post that you're talking about, because I had people disagreeing with it. They're like, cause it said everybody who is somebody used to be a fraud and the, the, the connotation, most of the people were too dumb to figure out what the fuck that meant. What that means is when you start off on a path and you start off on doing something great, or you start off on being a new you, it's going to feel weird. You're going to have this feeling in the back end that

there's like this secret nobody knows. And the secret is that you're secretly like a nerd that just happens to like, you know, be doing this thing and blah, blah, blah, dude, that's normal. That's normal. Everybody starts there. That was the point of that post. Everybody, when they start their new thing or what they're going to be or their brand, because we talk about brands a lot here. When Jay-Z started being a fucking Jay-Z, you know, and not, you know, whoever the fuck he was before Jay-Z, you know, when he became the CEO, right? I'm sure when he first started, you know, he's consciously putting out information, content, words, music, and image that felt like it was not really who he was. But the reality is, is that is who you are to everybody else.

So when people come up to you, when you're trying to do something, become a CEO, become an extreme athlete, become a good author, become this, that, whatever it is you're trying to become, you're gonna have that sense inside of you that feels inauthentic. That's part of the game, okay?

A lot of people struggle with that because they wanna be, you know, who they are in public and who they are in private. And, and I would say that the best way to overcome this feeling of being a fraud is going to be by aligning those two things. You know what I mean? Sometimes being cool in public and creating a great brand personal brand means actually becoming more cool in private and doing some cool shit and showing people if you sit on your fucking couch all day and then take a picture of how you're out you know for five minutes in front of a fucking rented lamborghini you're gonna feel like a fucking

fraud you know why because you are a fraud. You know what I'm saying? Yes. So total sense. Yeah. So like having that feeling of like, wow, people think I'm somebody when in reality I'm, you know, I'm just me. I think that's a normal part of being successful. That's just part of the deal. I would also say that people should on some level give themselves some credit because it means that you have a modicum of humility. You're actually, you have good self-awareness.

You have humility. You have a recognition that I'm not where I need to be. There's a lot of people out there that don't feel weird when fucking people come up to them and think there's somebody special because they fucking believe that there's somebody even more special than that. Right. You know, and those people are called douchebags, by the way. Right. Exactly. So I think that's normal, dude. You know, I think a lot of people struggle than that. Right. You know, and those people are called douchebags, by the way. Right. Exactly.

So I think that's normal, dude. You know, I think a lot of people struggle with that. I know this isn't the normal fucking Thursday Thunder, let's fire you up, blah, blah, blah. But I think it's a valid thing to talk about because I think, you know, when you start deciding the direction of where you want to go, and I think what it comes down to is permission. You know, people, they decide they want to start putting out certain things on Snapchat or Instagram or on Facebook or making videos on YouTube, and they put information out, and you get questioned by, like, this group of people that knew or know you on the backside,

and they're like, why are you doing that, blah, blah, blah, and it makes you feel like you're faking it, when in reality, you're not faking anything. You're trying to build something. Right. You know what I mean? It's like the people that you doing that? Blah, blah, blah. And it makes you feel like you're faking it. When in reality, you're not faking anything. You're trying to build something. Right. You know what I mean? Like the people that gave you a hard time for, oh, Andy, are you Tony Robbins? Yeah, why are you trying to post all this motivational shit?

Now those same motherfuckers are showing up in my talks. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So, you know, everybody feels that way. There's a good book that addresses this. It's How to Be a Badass by Jen Sincero. Great book. Uh, I, I really enjoyed the book. Um, the audio books really good is what the one I listened to. She reads it herself. I always like that when the author reads. Um, but, uh, it addresses this, that, that everybody

has this like inner voice that almost makes them feel bad. Really the purpose of that inner voice is to keep you in check. It's not to make you feel overly guilty for whatever it is you're doing. And a lot of people might be listening to this and be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Well, that's because you haven't done anything yet because I get it too. I get what you're saying. Like, dude, when people come up and they're like, dude, I want your autograph, blah, blah, blah. Or I want, I'm like, bro, are you sure? You know what I'm saying? Like, it's just, you know, but you have to realize when you put out good content and you, you, you make like, cause like what I am is a, somebody who gives permission, right? I'm somebody who says,

Hey, it's okay to go out and be a bad motherfucker. It's okay to go out there and make content. It's okay to go out there and say what you want. It's okay to go out there and hustle, right? I'm a guy who gives permission. So when you're the guy who's given permission, people are going to look up to that and say, man, that's fucking cool. And they feel a sense like that. We're like, yeah, dude, I'm inspired by that. And it makes me want to go out and do shit.

So people are going to appreciate that. So you have to look at it as like, hey, that's just their way of showing appreciation. You know what I mean? Yeah, that makes total sense. It's not like they're weird psycho stalkers. It's like, hey, this person inspired me to go out and do this, this, and this, and I want something. It's cool to shake their hand.

It's cool to meet them in person, and I want something to remember that moment. It's a big deal to people. Yeah. And you should make it a big deal to people. Yeah. No, it's definitely very flattering. And I, and I think, you know, whenever anybody attempts something great, even if you're the most confident person in the world, there is a part of you, like you said, that it's like, Holy cow, I'm doing this right now. I'm doing this, you know, and, and it's exhilarating and it feels good, but it can be a little unnerving. And I know a lot of

people struggle with that. So I wanted to hear your take on it. I think the thing you're talking about, the internal voice, is one of the things that really keeps people from being great. They listen to that voice too much. You know what I mean? Right. It's like the voice that says, Vaughn, you're not a podcaster. You're not a guy who signs autographs. You're just a podcaster. You're not a guy who signs autographs. You're just a fucking, you're a ghostwriter.

You know, you're just a guy who, you know, helps out on a podcast or whatever. And that voice, like, plays down what you really are. Right? When the purpose of that voice is not to play down what you really are. The purpose of that voice is to keep you from going so far the other way that you're an arrogant prick. Right. Right. That's a great point.

Right. Yeah. So let that voice serve its purpose. Go out, be you, hustle, be the best fucking you you can be and let that voice keep you from being an asshole. But don't listen to it too much because that's the hair voice. It's Seth Godin calls it the lizard brain. All right.

It's the part of your brain that keeps you from really doing great things. And I don't know one great athlete. I don't know one great performer. I don't know one great CEO or one great salesperson or anybody great at anything that doesn't have a part of them that if they verbalized about themselves, people would say, God, you're so cocky, blah, blah, blah, because you have to have that edge to make it. So it's okay to have that edge, but just make sure that you're treating people the right way on the other side and that you're still being that caring, good, humble person and people will cheer you on. You know what I mean?

Absolutely. So what you're saying is that there's a confidence or cockiness that actually is employed for the good of other people, and then there's a confidence and a cockiness that's just all about you. Yeah, and we both know the different types. Right. Right? There are certain people that their cockiness or their –

cockiness is not a bad thing, dude. If you're going to stand in the batter's box of a dude who's throwing 100 fucking 7 miles an hour, you better be somewhat fucking cocky about your abilities. Right. You know what I mean? Right. You've got to have an edge. Right.

There's a whole other book about this called Relentless by Tim Grover, which, by the way, I got in touch with him, so I want to give him a show. Oh, very cool. Well, on that note, too, I mean, just ask yourself, if you're on a basketball team, do you want a coach who's cocky? Of course you do, because that inspires confidence. Fuck yeah, because we're going to run out there and we're going to kick everybody's ass. Right, exactly.

You know what the opposite is? Well, I don't know. No, no, dude, fuck, I've had the opposite of coaches. The opposite of coaches that does this. You know what? These dudes are big. They're bad. They're bad.

They're fast. You know, if you guys don't execute, they're going to stomp your fucking heads in. Dude, that doesn't inspire fucking performance. You know what inspires performance? Hey, you guys can fucking do this. We're going to go out and we're going to stomp these motherfuckers' faces in the fucking dirt until the score is a million to nothing. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

That's is that cocky? Yeah. But dude, cocky serves a purpose. And so don't let that inner voice of like, I'm a fraud or I'm not really this or I'm not as good as what I think I am. Keep you for being great because that will be the ultimate thing that keeps you from being great. Most people blame haters.

No, it's not haters. It's you. It's that voice you from being great. Most people blame haters. No, it's not haters. It's you. It's that voice we're talking about. The voice that you're expressing you felt is what most people call haters. I got all these haters. No, you don't. You've got this voice in your head that you haven't gotten under control. Right. You know? Yeah. Well said. Yeah. So guys, if this is you, which I know it is because all of us have this, learn how to let this voice balance your your progress out and keep you humble instead of just keeping you back. All right. Because you guys all have greatness. You all have big things in your heart.

You all have big action actions and are capable of great things. But if you listen to that inner voice all the time, tell you how you're not this, you're not that. Guess what? You're not this you're not that guess what you're not gonna be This or that you're gonna be the fucking lowest common denominator version of yourself, which is it nothing to brag about All right, so go out kick ass fucking dominate and tell that voice to fuck off