REAL AF with Andy Frisella - F*ck Your Affirmations, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO242

Episode Date: June 14, 2018

What’s the #1 lie of our society & what would your life look like if you completely rejected it? So many people out there right now are talking about how everybody needs to “love themselves” & keep telling themselves that…“You’re beautiful & worthy & good enough." But here's the problem: for those statements to be true, there has to be a change in mindset & a commitment to act & live in a certain way. Bottom line: you aren't entitled to feel good about yourself. You have to earn it.

I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon. Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me, gotta lose. What is up? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host. And I am the motherfucking CEO. I like that. I like it. That's what I'm talking about. A little flavor today. Alright, look. Today is Thursday Thunder. And I have something that I really want to talk to you about. And before I do that, I got a little housekeeping thing. If this is your first time listening to the podcast, welcome. This is an entrepreneurship slash personal development podcast. And in fact,

it's one of the best ones out there. You know why? Because I'm not going to sell you a bunch of shit. I'm not going to tell you to buy my $997 program 57 times a day. I'm not going to run 15 fucking advertisements before we get to the meat of what I want to talk to you about. And the reason for that is this. I run a real company and I'm already doing okay financially. I don't need to make more money selling you shit or running ads and all this other shit. I do this podcast because I want to help people understand what it truly takes to live a successful life, whatever success might mean for you. That includes the areas of your fitness. It includes the areas of your relationships. It includes the areas of your finances because guess what? Having a lot of fucking money is not a bad thing. All right. So what I ask in return is that you share my podcast with your friends who might like it. If you like an episode, if you get something out of this episode, I ask that for every episode that you like or that

it gets something that you get something out of that you refer a friend. And that could be through a post. It could be through a conversation. But guys, I do this because it's a passion project for me. And by you spreading the word, it helps me. So if I can help you help me. All right. That's the deal. It's worked out pretty good so far because we've been top 10 in business for three years in a row. We've been at the top iTunes for three years in a row. And that's all due to you guys. And so guys, I don't say it enough, but thank you so much for supporting this project and supporting myself and being there and being people who honestly inspire me. Because part of the reason I started this podcast was because I was frustrated

with the way people are, man. Like I just get so irritated with, with people thinking they can get something for nothing and that they can, you know, cruise through life and that they, the entitlement aspect that they deserve everything. And I just didn't like the way things were going. And that's really why this podcast came about and you guys supporting it and you guys sharing it and you guys resonating with it tells me that I'm not alone. And guys, that means more to me than you could ever understand. So thank you so much for being those kinds of people. I think it's important to our country. I think it's important to our society and our culture here in America. And if you're not an American and you're listening somewhere else, it's important to your direct

culture too, because nowhere in the world do we just get taken care of. I was watching a friend's snap story yesterday and she said, I'm proof that you can be your own savior. No, motherfucker. That's not a fact. It's not that you can be your savior. It's you must be your fucking savior. You must be your own fucking savior. No one's going to come through.

No magic force, no magic being, no person you know is going to come through and plant your ass in your ideal situation. You're going to have to be your own savior and your own creator and everything else that you need to be. But that's not what I'm talking about today. What I'm talking about today is this. If you've been watching me on Instagram, you know that I go out every single day and I work out twice a day. All right. And two, two and a half years ago, I was 350 fucking pounds. I'm down 110 pounds from that time.

I work out twice a day in the morning. If you follow me, you know, I go to the gym and I take a selfie almost every time I go and it says deuce paid. And then I go out in the afternoon when it's a hundred fucking degrees outside here in St. Louis, cause it gets hot as fuck here. And I go do cardio for an hour and it might be a mix of running, walking, um, more so when it's hot like this, it's more walking than it is running, but I do hills and it's fucking hard and I'm sweating my ass off and I take another step and I say dues paid times two. All right. And the reason I do that is because I want people to know that you don't just roll out of bed looking like 260 pounds of twisted steel and fucking sex appeal. All right. You have to do the work and

something that's been bothering me lately. And what I think I need to speak on because I feel compelled to speak on it and it's going to ruffle some fucking feathers, but I don't give a shit because it's the truth is that so many of you out there right now are trying to, we have these movements that are, uh, body positive or love yourself or all these other things, right? And they talk about telling yourself that you love yourself and telling yourself that you're beautiful and telling yourself that you're worthy and that you're good enough. And let me tell you something about that. You could tell yourself all that shit, all the, and by the way, these movements are generally pushed by people who don't fall into the category of the people that are supposed to be telling them that shit. You hear successful people telling regular people, you should be

loving yourself and you are enough and you are this and you are that. And then you see people who are in decent shape telling people who are out of shape, love yourself for how you look. You're beautiful. You're this, you're that. Let me tell you something, man. When I was 350 pounds, I could have sat in front of the mirror all fucking day and told myself how fucking good I looked and how beautiful I looked. And I could have made posts and said, you know what, uh, Andy, I love myself for me. I'm enough. I'm this, I'm that. And you know what? No matter if I would have sat there 200 and fucking, or 365 fucking days a year for 20 fucking hours a day

and told myself that, I know in my heart it was bullshit. I wasn't happy. I didn't feel good about myself. I didn't love the way I looked. I knew that I could do better. I knew that I could do better. I knew that I had more potential and because I wasn't fulfilling that potential is why I felt like shit. Now, while you might, I might agree with you and say, it wasn't that how I looked that really bothered me. It was how I felt, but how I looked was a reflection of how I felt and the actions that I was taking. And the message that I want to tell you in this,

in this short little podcast today is this, I am fucking tired of the affirmation culture. If you have to fucking tell yourself, Oh, I'm beautiful. Oh, I'm fit. Oh, I'm sexy. Oh, I'm this. Oh, I'm smart. Oh oh I'm good enough oh I deserve this let me tell you something you probably fucking don't and you probably aren't okay and I want you to understand I am not attacking people who are overweight I've been overweight my entire life I am not attacking people who are overweight. I've been overweight my entire life. I am not attacking people who are low income. I spend most of my life at low income, all right? But what I am attacking is people lying to themselves and choosing not to take the actions

that they need to take to fix the situation. You know what I think is really courageous and what I really respect when I look at someone is someone who has the courage, the balls, and the honest eye and heart to look at themselves and say, you know what? I don't like this about myself. I don't like that about myself. And I don't like this about myself. And you know know what I'm going to fucking change it because that's not what's going on in society right now what's going on in society right now is you have every motherfucker out there most of which who haven't accomplished a fucking thing telling every single

person out there that they should be happy and they should love yourself and that you should feel great and you should feel worthy and you're good enough and all this shit. But the problem is, is you don't feel that way, do you? No matter how many times you talk to yourself in that positive talk, you don't feel that way, do you? And let me tell you why you don't. And I know because I didn't either. But I'm going to tell you why you don't. You don't because you're not doing the work to back up the result that you want. It's one thing to be 50 pounds overweight and be out there working your fucking balls off and saying, you know what? I might not be where I want to be, but I'm proud of myself for doing the fucking work. You're going to feel good at that point. You're going to feel better at that

point. The work is what makes you feel fucking better. Okay. It's okay to be broke and living in a fucking your mom's basement, but you're hustling as hard as you fucking can to make that situation change. Guess what? You're not going to feel like a loser at that point. Are you going to be frustrated with your result? Absolutely. Are you going to be angry at yourself? No, because you're doing the fucking work. And guys, the biggest lie that we're told in society right now is that you're entitled to feel great about yourself. You're entitled to have high self-esteem.

You're entitled to have high confidence. You're entitled to feel like you're worthy and you're good and all these things. But that's not the fucking truth. It's a lie. The truth is you have to earn those things. If you want to be confident, you have to do things that you're afraid of and you have to do them over and over again. If you want to be, uh, to have self-esteem, you've got to do things that make you feel good about yourself, AKA making the right fucking choices. So making the right fucking choice is not to sit

on your ass and play Nintendo. When you know you got bills to pay, making the right choices is not looking at yourself in the mirror when you're 150 fucking pounds overweight and telling yourself you're beautiful while stuffing your fucking face with mint chocolate chip ice cream. That's not what's going to create self-esteem no matter how many affirmations you tell yourself. And I'm so sick of all the do-gooders in this fucking pussified society telling people that they're great and they're worthy

and they should feel great about themselves when they fucking shouldn't. And my message here today is not for everyone because I know people are going to get upset about it. The body positive people are going to be mad. The fucking everybody's worthy people are going to be mad. But you know what? I don't buy into that shit. And you know what? I'm in the fitness fucking business. We have a very inclusive culture. If you're fucking 150 pounds or 200 pounds or 500 pounds overweight, guess what?

We're going to welcome you, dude. We want you here, but you know what you're going to be expected to do? You're going to be expected to fucking work. You're not expected to look a certain way, but you're expected to fucking work. Okay. And let me tell you something. The work is where all the good shit comes from. And the reason most people don't have any of the good shit is because they spend their entire fucking lives trying to avoid the work. Okay. I might not look the way I want to look. I might look in the mirror and feel fat, but you know what? I went out and I worked out fucking twice today. And I did that yesterday and the day before and the day before and the day before. And you know what? So I am fucking proud of myself because I'm doing the shit that I don't

want to do. And you know what happens when you do the shit you don't want to do? You start to feel powerful. You start to feel in control and it doesn't matter what you look like per se, but what matters is, is that you feel powerful. And when you start to feel powerful, you're able to take the big actions that are going to change the end result that you're upset with in the first place. Okay. So let's stop all this surface level. Everybody's special. Everybody's beautiful. Everybody's worthy. Everybody's this, and let's change it to this. Everybody can be beautiful. Everybody can be fucking smart. Everybody can be worthy if they do the work. And by the way, when I say beautiful, I think someone who is overweight, who works their fucking ass off is 10 times more beautiful

than someone who's just, you know, society's definition of what, you know, beauty is and doesn't do shit. You know, that's another thing about work. It's fucking attractive. People like it. It inspires people. It's sexy, you know, but dude, you spend your whole life trying not to do it. I guess the main point of this podcast, cause I'm getting into all kinds of things that I think is this, all the affirmations that you fucking this bullshit of, you know, Oh, you know, I'm special. I'm a winner. I'm this, they're all lies unless you're actually a winner. Okay. Um, if you're not doing the work to back it up, you're not going to feel better about yourself. You could stand there and tell yourself

all the shit you want to tell yourself from now until the end of the earth, but I'm going to save you your entire life and tell you that that isn't going to work. And what's going to work, what's going to make you feel better is you doing the things, taking the actions, doing the work that's going to somehow eventually lead to the problem fixing itself. Okay. So if you're broke, you're not going to feel better by standing there and saying, I'm worthy. I deserve it. I'm this, I'm going to be successful. You're still going to feel like shit. What's going to change it is for you to go out and do things that are productive in the direction of you fixing the problem of you being broke, AKA doing things to help you not be broke. Get a fucking job, work, do some things that are going to help create your

next business. Do some things that are going to create your career. Read a book, talk to some motherfuckers about your business. You know, one of the things I used to do whenever I was coming up in our business and when I was totally broke and I was desperate and I felt like shit and I felt like a loser is I would get in my car and I would go around to the police and fire stations and I would just have conversations with the men and women there about our business. And you know what? When I went home that day, I felt immediately better. And that's actually where I learned this, by the way.

I felt immediately better. Taking the action towards the problem is what makes things better for you. Okay. Now, if you're overweight and you're out of shape like I was, and you're totally desperate and depressed and all this shit like I was, and you look at yourself in the mirror and you say, you're sexy, you're beautiful, you're this, you're that, and you're not doing anything, you're going to feel like shit. It's just the way it is. You're going to feel like shit. You can make some posts. You can do all this shit that says, oh, I feel great. And you can lie to yourself and convince yourself that you are something that you're not, but it's only going to be temporary. And for you to feel better in your heart, for you to feel better in your soul and to really truly have confidence and self-esteem,

I'm sorry, but you're going to have to start making the right decisions, which means you're going to have to fucking work out. You're going to have to make better choices with your food. And by honing that discipline and exercising that discipline, you're going to create more belief in yourself. You're going to create more belief in yourself. You're going to create more of a situation where you feel confident in yourself and you have self-esteem because you're making the proper decisions for yourself and you're proud of yourself for doing so. And so what's going to happen is you're going to start to feel better on the inside and then you're going to continue to make better choices and the outside will start to reflect what's on the inside all right and i've gone through this shit

motherfuckers like before you write me a message and say oh andy well you're against body positive you should be no you know what because it's a lie it's a fucking lie it's a fucking lie okay now is every single person going to look like a supermodel fuck no but sitting on your ass and eating fucking doritos and white castles and fucking being a piece of shit is not going to make you happy i don't care who you are and it really has nothing to do with the fucking looks it has to do with the work you're putting in and you guys out there who are listening who are trying you know saying oh i need to make a change. Cause I get this fucking DM 47 million times a week. You know what? I listened to your podcast, Andy. And I, and I realized, you know what? I need to make a change or Andy. I watched your transformation.

You know what? I realized I need to make a change. You know what? Then fucking make a change, make a fucking change because I'm fucking tired of hearing the same message from you all about saying you need to make a change. You know, you need to make a fucking change. So fucking do it. What's the thing that you could do right now to make you feel better? It's probably the thing that you'd want to do the least. If you're fucking overweight, if you're fucking fat, guess what you should do? Go on a 30 minute walk right fucking now, right now. You can listen to this shit while you walk. Go fucking walk right now. How many of you are going to fucking do it? Fucking one out of every 1000. Okay. You're broke right now. You don't

have a fucking, you're nobody's buying your shit. Nobody's file. Nobody's doing a, you're not selling as much shit. Go make fucking five phone calls right now to people to sell them your stuff. Do it right now. I guarantee even if no one buys it, you're going to feel better from making the calls. But how many of you are going to actually do it? And that's the bridge that you have to learn to cross is crossing from sitting there, deliberating, knowing you need to do it, knowing it's the best thing for you into actually doing it. And guys, it's really fucking simple. It's really simple. All you have to do is to train your brain to fucking use your thoughts of not wanting to do something that you know you need to do as the trigger that's going to create the action that needs to happen. For example, when I get home after

dealing with 10 tons of fucking bullshit every single fucking day in my company, the last thing I want to fucking do when I walk in the door is go right back out the door into the heat and fucking do an hour of cardio. All right. It's the last thing I want to do. So what do I usually do? I walk into my house. I, I sit down on my bed. I, then I lay down on my bed and then I think, fuck, I still got to do cardio. It like dawns on me. Like, like the fucking black death plague, it comes over me and I'm like, fuck, I still got to do cardio. And you know what happens right at that moment? I fucking sit the fuck up. I put my fucking shoes on and I go out the door right then, right at that moment. I fucking sit the fuck up. I put my fucking shoes on and I go out the door right

then, right at that moment. It's called a production pivot. It's being able to train your brain to use the negative thoughts that are keeping you from progressing as the trigger to make you take the action. And let me ask you something. What would your life really look like if every single time you knew that you should do something, but didn't feel like doing it, that you automatically sprung into action and did it? What would your life look like? How different would it be? Because I know, I know that most of you listening right now are struggling in life with your finances, with your fitness, with your relationships because of your inability to do the things that you know need to be done. And what if you could train yourself to do that?

What if you could train the production pivot habit into your brain? How different would your life look right now? How much more money would you earn? How much better would your relationship be? How good a shape would you be in if every single time somebody said, Hey Andy, let's go to the bar and fucking drink. And you're like, fuck, that sounds really good, but I know I shouldn't. You know what? I'm going to do cardio. And you do, you replace that negativity with a positive action. How different would your life look? Okay. You're never going to feel good about yourself unless you do the fucking work. You're not going to look and you're not, even if you had the perfect physique, if you weren't doing the work, you're not going to feel good about yourself.

Even if you had $10 million a month coming in, if you're not doing the work to earn it, you're not going to feel good about yourself. The work is what provides all the things that fix the inside of your heart and soul. The work is what provides the confidence. The work is what provides the self-esteem. The work is what provides the self-worth. That's where it comes from. All you motherfuckers are chasing the result. The result is meaningless. Having six pack abs doesn't mean shit. Having $10 million doesn't mean shit. If you're truly looking to be fulfilled and you're truly looking to be happy

and you're truly looking to feel good about your life and about who you are as a person, you have to embrace the fucking work.