REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Feeling Like a Fraud? Here's How to Stop, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO195

Episode Date: November 30, 2017

When you begin developing into the person that you know you really are - and are meant to be - people close to you don't always take it well. They push back. They mock you. They laugh at you. When that happens, most people (you?) feel like a fraud and don't know how to power through the resistance they experience.  I know.  I've been there. But I figured out how to outlast that backlash, and in this episode, I tell you how you can, too. 

What is up guys, you're listening to the MFCEO Project, I'm Andy, I'm your host, and I am the motherfucking CEO. Today is Thursday Thunder, and I have, as always, a very important message for you, but before I get into that, make sure you're subscribed to the podcast. If you're consuming the content and you're benefiting from the content, if I make you laugh, if I make you think, if I make you get out and do some fucking work, do me a solid subscribe to the podcast. Helps me out big time. All right. Enough of the housekeeping. Look, when I first started in business, when I was 19 years old, which technically wasn't my first start in business, it was my ninth

start in business because I had failed nine other quote unquote companies up until that time. So when I first started in business, it was really my ninth business. But when I started, even though I had already failed nine other business and partially because I had failed nine other businesses, some of these businesses were simple lemonade stands, shit like that. Some were, were expensive lessons I had already learned. But when I started supplement super stores, which is the first business that we started that I still own today and still very successful today. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. We went and we built the shelving of our stores from Home Depot supplies. Okay. We ordered the inventory of the store off credit cards. All right. We started our business very, very bare bones.

And because it was so bare bones and because I didn't know what I was doing and because I had failed other companies all the way up until this time, I had no reason to believe I was qualified. I had no reason to believe that I should be in business. I had no reason to believe that I should be giving advice on supplements. And you know what? At that time, I should be in business. I had no reason to believe that I should be giving advice on supplements. And you know what? At that time, I probably shouldn't have. And by all accounts, I felt like a fraud. I felt like I was faking it. I felt like I had no reason to believe in myself. I felt like everybody else could see through me. They could see what I was going through and they could see what I was trying to do,

but they could also see that I was a fraud. When I first started my motivational slash business slash personal development craft, which now I get paid a lot of money to do. When I go to speak, I get a minimum of $75,000 per keynote. And sometimes it's in the six figures. Okay. I am a legit speaker, but when I started and how I started, I started by writing motivational things on Facebook. I started by writing little statuses on Facebook. I would write some motivational stuff or some, some advice. All right. And people quote unquote, friends, quote unquote, family would either on my page directly underneath the post say things like this,

Andy, what are you trying to do? Be like Tony Robbins? Andy, what are you trying to do? You trying to be some kind of motivational dude? Or they would say that shit in person. And you know what? That would piss me off so fucking bad because here I am, I'm thinking, I'm like, yeah, fuck yeah. I'm trying to be like Tony Robbins. Tony Robbins is awesome. He's the man. Okay. But I didn't have any qualifications. I didn't have some sort of certificate. I didn't have the approval to go out and be like that. And my close quote unquote family and friends let me know that right away. They let me know the minute that I step out of my comfort zone that I need to get back in line. I needed to know my role. I needed to know who the fuck I was and

remember who I was. I need to remember that I was just a fat little white kid from Missouri that grew up on a gravel road and that I by no means was qualified to give out motivational advice or write motivational sentences or be successful entrepreneur. They reminded me of this. And because of that, it made me sort of step back in line. And this is what happens to you and everybody else. This is why most people can never succeed. This is why most people can never succeed. This is why most people can never gain real traction

because when their immediate circle pushes back on who they're trying to become and what they're trying to become when they try to become it. And because it's different from what they know you as and they push back on it, they make you feel like a fraud. And it's confusing to us. They should support us. They should be happy for us. They should encourage it. But what do they do? They don't do that. They make little remarks. They make little wisecracks. They make fun of us. And this is why most people can never get started. This is why most people can't understand what it takes because they don't get far enough in it to understand what it takes. When you first start and you start trying to become who it is, you know, you already are on the inside. People are going to resist you. When you first start out,

you're going to get pushback and a lot of it because you are becoming something in other people's eyes that you aren't. You are not being true to who they know you to be, even though who they know you to be might not even be who you are because you're conforming yourself up until this point in time to something that they expect, not what you expect. You have to know who you are. You have to know what you are. You have to know what you're becoming and you have to believe in what you're becoming. And my whole purpose of this message is this. The resistance is always the most difficult in the beginning. Every single person that you look up to, whether it be Jay-Z, whether it be Donald Trump,

whether it be Barack Obama, whether it be a famous movie star, whether it be a famous athlete, it doesn't fucking matter. All of them dealt with what you're dealing with now. All of them dealt with their family and friends looking at them funny and saying weird shit and making jokes. The difference is all of those people continued to become who it is they're supposed to become and they found great success in it. What I want you to understand is that this is normal. This is normal shit that anybody who has ever attempted to become great deals with. This is what I've dealt with. This is what anybody you look up to has dealt with. This is what I've dealt with. This is what anybody you look up to has dealt with.

This is what every single person who has become great has dealt with. The difference between them and you is that they continue to move. When people told them to get back in line, they didn't get back in line. They continue to become what they knew they were inside of their soul. You decide to get back in line, shut your mouth and sit on your hands and become nothing. That's the difference. That's the biggest difference. You have to know who you are. You have to know what you become.

You have to know what your product is and what it's going to be. And when I say your product, I mean you. You have to know that. Who you feel like you are on the inside is who you are. If other people aren't seeing that, it's because you are encapsulating yourself to protect yourself from their pushback. It is normal to feel like a fraud when you start. It is normal for you to not feel like the real deal. It is normal for you to not feel like you're supposed to be doing it. We all go through that. You have to understand that's part of the game. You have to understand that's part of the game. You have to understand that's part of the deal. That's what you signed up for. People are going to question you. They're going to tell you,

you're not who you say you are. They're going to say, you're not being real. You're forgetting your roots. You forgot where you came from. They're going to say all of this stuff, but really that's not even true because you've just never showed them who you are. You've never showed them what you're about. You've never showed them what you're about. You've never showed them what you're going to become and they don't understand. That's all it is. They don't understand. It's not hate.

It's confusion. Here's my friend who's always been this one way and now my friend is becoming this other way. They're doing new things. They're taking new risks. They're taking big action. They're taking big action. They're hanging out with new people. And you're going to lose some people. You will.

You're going to lose some friends. You're going to lose some family. But you know what? Those people are going to be replaced by people who support and love who you really are. They're going to see you taking massive action and they're going to get fired up. They're going to see you taking massive action and they're going to get fired up. They're going to see you doing big things and they're going to get fucking excited. Those are the people who are going to support you. Those are the people who are going to be fans of yours. Those are the people who are going to be customers of yours. And those are the people

who are going to buy your shit. So if you have people in your life that don't fucking get it, don't worry about it. We live in this ideal or this idea that we're going to be alone because we lose some people along the way. No, we're not. Those people are going to be replaced by people who actually propel us to success versus keeping us from success. It's normal to feel this way, guys. It's normal to feel like you're faking it. It's normal to feel like a fraud. It's normal to feel like you're not qualified. Our circle, who doesn't see us for who we really are, is going to make us feel that way. And because we respect them and because we value them and because we see them as important, their opinions affect us. You're not a fraud. You're doing big things. You've got the approval to do this for me. And you should give yourself approval too. Nobody was an expert on day one.

When I first started in business, I didn't know fucking shit. Like if you would have saw me, you would not believe where I am now. You wouldn't even think I was the same person. It's okay to feel that way. It's normal. Just understand, you're not a fraud.

You're just choosing to show people who the fuck you really are.