REAL AF with Andy Frisella - How Perfectionism Sabotages Your Success, with Andy Frisella - MFCE0247

Episode Date: July 19, 2018

I've quoted Lombardi on the podcast before: "chase perfection."  Problem is, most people emphasize the second word when the focus is really on the first. Perfection is an impossibility. We're supposed to chase it, not expect it. That's sounds counter-intuitive to a commitment to excellence, but it's not. In fact...perfectionism actually undermines excellence. In this episode, I tell you how & describe a better way of thinking & operating: one that embraces the chaotic process that produces success.

I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon. Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me, gotta lose. What is up, guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host. And I am the motherfucking CEO. Today is Thursday Thunder. If you're new here, guess what? We're gonna rip off your fucking face. We're going to throw it in the trash. We're giving you a new fucking face. How about that? Here, look, we have two different podcasts. We have Tuesday podcasts, which are a little bit longer, usually about an hour, usually a little bit more practical in nature.

And I say practical, I mean, you could take the lesson and go apply it to your business. Thursday Thunders are also practical podcasts, but they're more mindset podcasts. And today we've got one for you. Now, guys, we don't charge for this. I don't run ads. I don't run 27 fucking ads before I get going with content. I could, but I don't because this is a project for me and it's one that I care deeply about and I'm passionate about. And it's something that I want you to absorb as much as possible.

Now, because I don't run ads, I pass up a lot of money, seven figures easily for where this podcast is ranked. And I in turn would like to ask something of you for doing this podcast and not charging for it and not ruining your day with 700 ads. I would like to ask that if you get value from this podcast, that you recommend it to a friend. Now that does not mean listen to a hundred episodes and tell one friend I'm asking for one friend per episode. Now, a lot of you guys have been very diligent about doing this. And a lot of you guys haven't, because I could tell you, I have a millions and millions and millions of people that listen to this podcast.

And then whenever I see posts, I get like, you know, 20 posts per episode of people who actually follow through and do this. And by the way, I do look for that. So guys, if you're doing it, I appreciate it. If you're not doing it, I would appreciate it if you did it. Now, what we're going to get into today is something that is super, super, super relevant to the way most of you guys think. We always talk about excellence. We talk about arete. And one of the things that I quote the most is Vince Lombardi's quote, who said, chase perfection, chase perfection. But the key word there is not perfection, it's chase, okay? You have to chase perfection. You cannot expect it and you can't expect it in the early stages of

your business and your project and your mission or whatever it is you're trying to do, all right? You're never going to have the perfect business plan. You're never going to do anything perfect in your business or your life, especially in the beginning. You know it. I know it. So if you're waiting to be perfect in whatever it is you're doing, that's not excellence. It's an excuse. Okay. And it fools a lot of people, but it doesn't fool me. I get it. Being a perfectionist is desirable. And it's sort of like this badge that people like to say, I'm a perfectionist.

But here's the problem with quote unquote being a perfectionist for where most of you guys are in your journey, all right? And I'm going to break this down for you in just a minute. But here's how most of you guys are in your journey. All right. And I'm going to break this down for you in just a minute, but here's how most of you think. Most of you think like this. I have this idea. I have this business plan. I have this goal that I want to achieve and I've never done this goal. I've never went out and started this kind of business. I've never done whatever it is I want to do, but I expect myself to be the best at it from the beginning. And I don't want to look like a fool to my friends and family,

but you know, in your heart, you can't go out and do this without looking like a fool at some point. So what do you do? You don't fucking do it. And that's the problem that most of you face. All right. Now, when we talk about being a perfectionist and expecting this perfection without the experience that you would normally have to have to become an expert at this certain thing, you have to understand that you are skipping out on major, major

character qualities that are going to keep you from being successful. First off, you lack humility. Okay. You have the idea that you're going to be the one guy in the face of the fucking earth who is so smart and so talented that you've come up with the foolproof business plan. It's never going to fucking fail. You're never going to hit a speed bump. You're going to look like a champion. You're going to look like the best and you're going to be making tens of millions of dollars out the get go. What is that? That's arrogant. That's you putting your value higher than every single other motherfucker that's ever went out and done something for no reason.

And that means you lack humility. And when you lack humility, you lack the ability to learn. And when you lack the ability to learn, you lack the ability to actually become an expert at what it is you're trying to become. So you have to understand humility is necessary. Okay. Understanding that you're not that good at what you do is okay because that quality is going to serve you over the course of your business career because it's going to allow you to become better. It's going to allow you to chase the perfection and it's going to allow you to become the person that you want to

become when you first start out on day one. But you got to remove the arrogance. You got to remove the idea that you're going to get it right from the first play. It's not going to happen. You're going to fall on your face. People are going to laugh. People are going to make fun of you. People are going to talk shit. People are going to discourage you. They're going to make you feel bad. And guess what? We all go through that. All of us go through it. But I'll tell you another thing. There's nothing better than when 10 years down the road, those same motherfuckers are asking you for a fucking job. All right. So remember that. Secondly, your arrogance makes you think that you're going to avoid the day-to-day mess that

is part of the development of every single business, every single goal, every single success path. Okay. Going down the path of success, whether it be in business or anything else is a fucking train wreck every single day. Even when things are going great, it's chaotic. Even when things are the best they've ever been it's hard okay and you have to understand that that is the daily battle that you're signing up for if you think you're going to have the perfect business plan because you're arrogant and it's going to allow you to avoid all the shit and you think you're the first person on earth that's going to avoid all the shit that all of us rest of the people on earth who have done anything,

have had to go through. You are one stupid son of a bitch. And that's the bottom line. Okay? Thirdly, and probably the most important, is that if you can think you can avoid having to learn something new and you think you can avoid the mess of the daily chaos of business, it probably means that you want to avoid those things. Agree? Yes. I know you all agree. Okay.

And that makes you fucking lazy. And that makes you a fucking pussy because you're trying to find the shortcut. You're trying to find the path of least resistance. You're trying to find the easiest way to succeed, which means you are not going to have the grit and the perseverance and the things that it takes when things get hard to weather the storm. Can't make it without those things. And if you're constantly finding yourself not willing to get your hands dirty

and not willing to get in the game and fight and not willing to figure out how to win no matter how much effort it takes. And you constantly find yourself looking for the easiest path and you constantly find yourself avoiding work and you constantly find yourself trying to develop the perfect plan that's going to circumvent all the hard shit, you might as well not even fucking try because you're never going to fucking make it. And that's the truth. I've seen literally thousands of people, thousands of people start businesses and fucking fail because they try to circumvent the shit that the rest of us are just willing to fucking deal with. You got to decide right now. Am I willing to fight every day? Am I willing to live a life of chaos even when things are great? Am I willing to be a firefighter and put out fires every fucking day? Am I willing to live that way? Am I willing to live that way? Am I willing

to live that way? Am I willing to be called stupid or a dreamer or crazy or insane by all my friends and family? Am I willing to constantly be questioned by the people that I respect and care about, about my intentions and my work ethic and my drive and my dreams? Am I willing to deal with that sort of life to get the life that I truly want? If the answer is yes, you're going to be good. You're going to be good. But I can promise you all that shit that I just mentioned is going to be relentless. Relentless. Until it's totally 100% undeniable that you are winning. When everybody else sees you winning, that shit will stop.

People will go from questioning your intentions and questioning your dreams and calling you crazy to saying, oh dude, I'm so proud of you. Oh man, I'm so happy for you. And guess what? That feels pretty fucking good. I have it every day. And so does anybody else who's gone through the shit. That's your job. Your job is to understand you're going to fall on your fucking face. You're going to be laughed at. But you've got to be humble enough to understand that that's part of the deal. You've got to be humble enough to understand that you can't skip that part. You've got to be willing to deal with those things.

You've got to be willing to understand that no matter how great things are, it's always going to be hard. No matter how fucking great your business is going, it's always going to be hard and no more. And you know what? When it's going bad, it's always going to be hard. And you know what? When it's going bad, it's really fucking hard. Fuck when it's going great. But dude, you guys need to check yourselves, man. You think you're going to be the first motherfucker that comes out with the perfect plan and wins without any resistance. And because of that, you're not even going to get started. You're going to look like a fucking fool. Deal with it. You're going to struggle. Deal with it. You're going to have a hard fucking time understanding why everybody that you love

and respect doubts you. Deal with it. You're going to have 10 years of not being able to pay your fucking bills, of shopping for cheap clothes and cheap cars and figuring out how to survive. Deal with it. It's all part of the game. And too many motherfuckers out there, and I'm talking to a

lot of you, think you're going to buy a program or buy a course or fucking buy someone's Bitcoin or whatever the fuck it is, and you're not going to be able to, you know, you won't have to deal with this shit. It's just not the way it is. Life is a fucking test, and you could choose to crumble or you could choose to get stronger. And that's it. That's what this is all about. You trying to be perfect. You trying to be the first person ever to skip all this shit with the perfect plan. Cause you're so fucking smart really makes you one of the dumbest motherfuckers on the face of the earth. And I want you to think about that.

So you can either get in the pool and fucking swim with us, or you could sit on the face of the earth. And I want you to think about that. So you can either get in the pool and fucking swim with us, or you could sit on the sideline and keep developing your fucking plan that will never fucking be what you want it to be. And those are your two choices. Outro Music