REAL AF with Andy Frisella - How To Be The MFCEO of Your Family, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO71

Episode Date: June 14, 2016

The MFCEO Project isn't just about motivation and success. It is committed to a total transformation of our culture, and very little is more critical to the positive development of people than parents.  As Father's Day approaches, Andy Frisella and the crew talk to Larry Hagner from the Good Dad Project. It's not enough to be the MFCEO of your life. You have to be the MFCEO of your family, too.

What is up guys you're listening to the MFCEO project I'm Andy I'm your host and I am the motherfucking CEO guys if this is your first time welcome you don't have to own a business a lot of guys are like Andy you run an entrepreneurship podcast but I don't own a business. A lot of guys are like, Andy, you run an entrepreneurship podcast, but I don't own a business. Well, you do run something that's pretty fucking important, and it is the business of yourself. And you need to start thinking it that way. A lot of people don't think of themselves as a business or a brand. But the truth of the matter is that you are the CEO of you, and what we're going to talk about here not only applies to running a business,

but it also applies to being the CEO of yourself, or more specifically, the motherfucking CEO of yourself. Life is way too short to not go through it with some confidence, some swagger, and to be a bad motherfucker, to be completely honest. I'm here with my co-host, Vaughn Kohler, the pastor of disaster, Vaughn Diesel, Vaughn the Impaler. We have a number of nicknames. We do.

John Claw, Vaughn Dom. Yeah, Vaughn Morrison. Vaughn. Yes. Tell the peoples about our guest today. Well, we got Father's Day coming up here, and we got a guy who's coming in, and he has accomplished numerous different things. He has solved a challenge in his own life.

He has met a need in the world and in the market, and he is building a brand helping guys be better dads. But he's doing it in a non-cheesetastic way he's doing it in a really down-to-earth and uh edgy way so we have here larry from the good dad project larry hagnar sorry you have a last name you're not like madonna or prince i was getting ready for you to say like the cable guy yeah the guy. But we thought it would be really important to, because Father's Day is coming up, and we thought it would be important to bring somebody in who's talking about dads, because I know, Andy, your dad is huge in your life.

Yeah, huge for me, but here's the deal. I don't like luck, but I was pretty lucky with who I got as a dad. And a lot of us don't have that same kind of luck. And I really admire what Larry's doing because what he's doing is creating a network for people to become better dads who may necessarily not have had that guidance growing up, which I know just from knowing Larry that that was the case with himself. So we're going to start off talking about the Good Dad Project, talk about why the Good Dad Project, and then we're going to get into how you're branding it and a little bit of the business side too.

So Larry, why don't you go ahead and get started and tell people what the Good Dad Project is and how you came to want to do this. Yeah, I appreciate that. So thanks for having me on. The Good Dad Project really came out of my own struggles as a father. I mean, I struggled. I've been a dad now for 10 years. And to be honest with you, I probably wasted five of those years with the wrong mindset. And the thing that I love about your brand and your show is you talk about being the MFCEO of your life. And really, my brand is being the MFCEO of your family and your own life as well. But it really, I mean, my story, I mean, I grew up in a pretty chaotic environment. I mean, everyone's got a

story and I don't share this story out of pity whatsoever, but my mom and biological father were married for a while. And then by the time I was nine months old, they got divorced. I never saw him. My mom got remarried when I was four. This guy was kind of a complete nightmare, to be honest with you. He was really, really nice when he was sober. Unfortunately, he had quite a bad drinking problem. It was mentally abusive, physically abusive. And then by the time I was 10, they got divorced. He was gone out of my life. And when I was 12, something interesting happened. I had the opportunity to meet my biological father, which was pretty interesting when you're the age of 12. And we had a relationship for probably a few months. And then unfortunately, that relationship fizzled out. So by the time I was 12, from a fatherly standpoint,

I lost my biological father once, my stepfather, and then my biological father again. So at that point, I mean, I was kind of devastated. I didn't know it then, but I know it now. You weren't big on dads at that point. I was not. I was kind of actually done with dads, to be honest with you. And then from the time I was 12 until the time I was 30, my mom married a few more times, dated, always just this same guy, you know, a toxic, you know, some sort of addiction involved. And what I can tell you, I learned two things from my upbringing and that is how devastating it is to not have a father in your life but also how devastating it is to have a

toxic father figure in your life and then the last part of the story really is is what happened ten years ago two things happened I became a father for the very first time and I met my biological father again I was actually in a coffee shop here in st. Louis he came walking through the door and I met my biological father again. I was actually in a coffee shop here in St. Louis. He came walking through the door, and I have to tell you, the amount of nervousness and awkwardness that comes with seeing your father after not seeing him for 20 years, and the last time you saw him, you parted ways. I'm happy to say that here we are 10 years later. It's got a good ending. We actually are pretty close now. We have a relationship, which is great.

But what I can tell you is with my own fatherhood journey for, like I said, the first five years, I had a really tough time with fatherhood. I had zero work-life balance, zero patience, zero confidence. I like to use this analogy a lot on our own podcast, which is I got my degree in health and fitness and nutrition. So I can tell you anything you want to know about the body or exercise or anything like that. But when it came to being a father, it felt like going to work every day as an architect. Like I had no clue how to do it. And yet it's the most important job. Well, how do you know anything if you've never witnessed it? Right.

You know what I mean? And like you said, I would just like to point this out. And if you're a father, you know this. If you're not a father and you're a young man or woman you might not understand this about yourself yet but most people end up where their parents are for a reason because that's what they've observed and you know when you become a father a parent and you've grown up in a toxic environment or an absent environment you behave as if that were the case and that's just reality that's why most people who grow up, they, their incomes are similar to their parents. The places they live are similar to their parents. Their standards for life are similar to their parents. And how the fuck are you supposed to

know what to do with being a dad? If you never had a dad. Exactly. I mean, and that's, that's exactly where I was stuck. And just recognizing that dude is so huge. Thank you. You know what I mean? Yeah. And, but that's where I see so many guys, exactly that point that you were, you just stated, I see so many guys in that rut. And the point where I was stuck was I knew exactly everything I didn't want to do. And I knew every, but I was stuck right in the middle, but I didn't know how to really tap into my greatness. You know, I didn't know how to get better at this. So what I did was, is I just five years ago, I decided to really just become a student of it and just learn as much as I could. And I don't call myself a fatherly expert by any means. I mean, I am literally

learning this thing every single day. I've got four boys, just get one, two, yeah, four, four boys of my own. You know, I've got a 10 year old, an eight year old, a two year old and a three month old. And every day is totally different. So when you have that kind of complexity and fatherhood literally changes every day, man, you've got to arm yourself with information. You've got to arm yourself and just be open to it, open to learning as much as you can about it. Dude, I just literally posted on my Facebook, like literally right before you came in here. I'm going to read it because it's so appropriate for what you just said. Most people never master anything in life because their egos are too big to let them be seen doing something they're bad at. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's what you're saying. And that's a really

good point because no one, and especially with fathers, and I think that's one of the reasons maybe my podcast is so relatable because we are very human about it. Like I'll be the first to tell you how many times I've screwed up because it's every single day. Right. I definitely don't have this thing down, but, but that's the thing. If you share your story and all the mess ups, but what you've learned from it, that's what really relates the audience to what we're doing. And that goes for anything, man. Like it goes for, you know, it goes for business. I mean, dude, if you're, if you don't have that humility to be able to say, Hey, I'm fucking learning every day. Like, dude, literally in Vaughn, you know, this Tyler, you know, this, I mean, dude, if you're, if you don't have that humility to be able to say, Hey, I'm fucking learning every day. Like dude, literally in Vaughn, you know, this Tyler,

you know this. I mean, dude, I know I'm pretty fucking good at what I do, but I'm also the first to say, Hey, if I don't know, I'll say, Hey, I don't know. Or if I screw up, I'll say I screw up. You know what I mean? And that's part of the deal. That's just part of the deal. You know, and, uh, the humility to be able to say that not just to yourself, but to, you know, admit it, that's a big part of success in anything. Larry, before you get into the meat of what you want to say, I really wanted to say, I'm, I'm really excited about you talking here, uh, and, and sharing your, your wisdom with us. I know that there's probably Mr. Asterick Cole out in the audience who's gone, well, what does this

happen? Well, why are we talking about fathers? But one of the things Andy says all the time is part of success is bringing others with you and being able to transfer that and who better to transfer greatness to and success than your own family. And I think there are a lot of people, whether men or women in our, in our audience or our listeners who they will have an opportunity to be, if not a father, a father figure to somebody and what a better way than to listen to what you have to say. And I'd like to add to do. That's a great point. But do the seeds of success are much easier planted when when people are young.

Right. You know what I mean? It's a lot easier to instill successful quality values and habits and and all the things that need to come together to create a fulfilling, successful, happy life. You know, we're not all about money here. I mean, we like money, but the other things are just as important. And to put all those seeds together, it's just easier to get those in when somebody's small than to try to break the habits when they're 25. And that's why this podcast, that's why i think this podcast is so important you might be

listening to this and be like i'm not a father yeah but dude you don't wait until you're fucking starving to start cooking the meal either you know what i mean dude start thinking about it now you know i've been thinking about my family which i don't have any kids for you know 20 years and that's why i am where i am because i've let that drive me. I've let the pretend family that I don't have drive me to get my ass to take care of the, you know, at least the financial aspect I need to take care of. Right. You know, and so if you're young and you're listening to this and you think, oh, it's not for me. No, it's fucking exactly for you. Yeah. Oops. I'm good. Okay. We had a water spill on the set. So anyway, I, yeah, I'm just real excited to hear what you have to say. So.

No, I think, so if you look at our message and if you look at the good, yes, it's a good dad project. I mean, even my book, the dad's edge, but if you really look at the content, it really, yes, it's about dads, but it's really more or less about being a better person, about being a better man. And how does that spill over into other areas of our life besides fatherhood? So if you can, the thing that I found when I, when I first went on this journey of self-improvement and trying to be a better man, trying to be a better fathers, I've read a lot of parenting books. The thing that I didn't relate to with the parenting books was I always felt like it was this author, this person that was talking down to me kind of from like a pedestal and it was like situational parenting and I didn't really relate to it. The thing that I did relate to and the thing that I've loved for as long as I can remember are books

and resources on self-development. So basically what the Good Dad Project is, what the dad's edge is, is it's taking being the best version of who you are and looking at that through the lens of a father. I mean, because if you are, if you can, if you can be a better man, if you can grow to be a better person, being a better dad is a byproduct of that. It truly, truly is. That makes a lot of sense. Dude, on your set, what you said a minute ago about them talking down to you, it's funny that you brought that up because you know, my brother's getting ready to have his first, his first boy, uh, any day now, maybe even today. Um, but we were out to, on mother's day, we were out to, uh, to eat. It was, it was him and his wife, Emily and I, and my mom. And, uh, he just kept going on and on. Like both

of them were like, man, you wouldn't believe how many people that had kids they just try to like tell you how everything is He's like they keep telling you well You're gonna find out all you're gonna know and he's in there so like annoyed with other parents right now Trying to like tell them shit. It's just like hey shut the fuck up mind your own business So if you're one of those annoying parents that does that shit to people Realize that it makes people not like you, you know? Well, that's the thing. I mean, being a parent, I mean, there is nothing that will humble you faster than that because it's constantly, you're constantly learning on the job. And that's, that's part of what, what we do and why we do it

is to give men just more and more content, more and more information so they can be ahead of the game. I love your analogy of you don't start to cook when you're starving. Yeah, man. If you can prep and be proactive, you are going to be better armed for any obstacle that comes your way, even when it comes to fatherhood and when it comes to parenting. Absolutely. I feel like that in itself is an issue with society. It comes along with the instant gratification.

You know, everybody wants everything now. But I feel like that also creates a situation where most people never prepare for anything. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because they're always just thinking now, not just for the result, but they never prepare for anything big at all. Like they don't save. They don't think about, you know know the consequences of any actions down the road it's just it's it's just society's in a weird spot there's no advanced planning right yeah at

all yeah like at all and it's like you know people wait till they get like pregnant and then they're like oh shit well i guess we better fucking think about being parents yeah right yeah so which came first i mean i in your mind i mean well you take the penis don't pull up no I question is okay so you basically started by wanting to solve a challenge in your own life yes how to be a better dad and then so I mean how did this grow from from Larry doing his thing to all of a sudden you've got thousands of people, you know, tuning in to listen to your podcast and be part of the, you know, the mastermind groups and that sort of thing. Yeah. So this, this really came from my own just frustrated journey as a father.

I'll tell you that I remember the exact night that I, that I formulated the good dad project. I was, this was about five, four, four years ago. My, my eight year old was four at the time and we were getting ready to move. And I was just in a really bad spot mentally, you know, as far as I hated my job. And I just, I, I was low on patience and work-life balance. I mean, I was, I was a pain in the ass to be around. I'm not going to lie. So we were getting ready to move. I was packing up one room and I hate moving more than life itself. I was packing up his toys and all this stuff. And I have boxes literally stacked from floor to ceiling, all these boxes. And I told him like, Hey, whatever you do, don't go in there and

unpack those boxes. So I left the room for like 30 minutes. I come back and there is just shit scattered everywhere. And I freaking blew up and I took him and I spanked him and I, he was just devastated. And I was pissed at myself. And even my wife, my wife is probably the most low drama, low maintenance woman I've ever known. And for her to get her feathers ruffled, like I knew that I had messed up and she looked at me and she's like, seriously, like he's four years old. Like he just wanted to get to his toys. You don't have to get that mad. And I was like, shit, you know? And I, and I thought back to my own childhood, how many times I was hit. And I was like, exactly what I didn't want to do. I just did.

And I went to my computer, I went to my office. I was a little bit emotional. I'm sitting in front of my computer and I went on Facebook and I see this tab in the left-hand side and it says, create a page. And so I was just like, and for some reason it was just these words that just came out, the good dad project. The problem, the thing was, is the good dad project was not a mission to help other men. I was the project. It was me, me. So I needed all this help. What I found was, is I was like, okay, every day I'm going to just go on and put something inspiring, something that I'm learning. And the page really grew. And then we decided to start a blog and then we decided to start a podcast. And then I wrote the dad's edge. And now it's just massive. We have thousands

of guys. We have mastermind groups. Now a bestselling book on Amazon. If you would have asked me three years ago, if this is what it would have turned into, I would have told you you were absolutely insane, but it is what it is today. And it's what we've, we're really helping men. I mean, it's been awesome. Yeah. I want to, because this is where I, this is what I do. I want to dissect the business aspect of that for you guys. Okay. You guys are always emailing in. You're always commenting the same fucking shit. How do I know what to do? Do what you're interested in. He's the butterfly lover. Exactly. You know, start something you're interested in. Start, dude, I was talking

about this yesterday. You got to know what your purpose is. You know, when I walk through the warehouse and I see thousands of boxes stacked up ready to go out, you know what? I don't see dollars. People think I see dollars. And every time I snap it, they're like, look at all that money you're making. I don't fucking see that. You know what I see? I see people who are out of shape getting in shape. I see people who are overweight, losing weight. I see

a purpose. I say, Hey, there is a doubt 10,000 people right there that we're helping today. And that's the point. Okay. And, and, you know, Larry didn't just say, Hey, I want to start this business or this empire of good dad shit. He said, dude, this is what I'm interested in. I'm just going to do this and I'm going to share my interest in this and guess what that authenticity and sharing that message turned into a business so there's my two cents the other thing you posted a couple weeks ago too was a meme that said something along the lines of I don't post fucking mean fun sorry whatever whatever the term is but I don't do that shit that's for other that's for other instruments but you posted a saying that you said uh which was basically having no other option is the best motivation or something something

like that and i think that was a meme that was a meme yes so so um lack of options right lack of options is the best motivation and you kind of came to the end of yourself larry and you're like i gotta do this so beyond being interested in it which is one component you talk about you also talk about you gotta do this he's making income off of this this isn't something he didn't start this with that purpose right he started it because he had a passion for it he had an interest for it and he wanted to contribute and bring people together for this cause. And dude, that's how businesses start. Businesses don't start by raising trillions of dollars and then having a brain tank or a think tank and come up with a fucking idea. Dude, you do what you're interested in. If you like lemonade,

make the best fucking lemonade. You know what I'm saying? That's how businesses start. Okay. So all you people who are writing in saying i don't know what to do what the fuck would you do if you had to do it for free period yeah you know so anyway i just love that because it's such like a great uh it's such a great parallel and and testimonial for what we talk about anyway you know so anyway so he analyzes and I organize. So give me the to-do list. Like what, what's, what was literally the first thing you, so you created the, the Facebook, uh, group, the closed group, I assume it was. No, it was an open page. Okay. So what were the next key steps? The watershed moments? Well, I'm, I'm smiling over here because, uh, I, again, I'm very

transparent with, with as far as like, Hey, let me tell you how I've screwed up. And I don't know if it was a screw up or not, but I did not have any intent to, to grow this as a business. It was a hobby. You know, it was just something that I've loved to do. I mean, this is just something, I mean, I get chills talking about this stuff because I see how much it helps other people, but I was the worst businessman possible that you can possibly think of when I first launched this thing. So I did the Facebook group that was basically no, no overhead whatsoever when I launched the website. And then I also hired an online coach just to help me launch a website because I had no clue how to do that. And then, um, I started a podcast and I'm like, Holy crap,

there's like overhead that goes with this. Like I probably need to start doing something to generate revenue. Otherwise this mission that I'm so passionate about, it's going to last six months and it's going to be done at that, at that point, a year and a half ago, I was doing speaking events. So that was generating some revenue. But when we launched the podcast, I was like, man, I need a sponsor. I need a sponsor if this is going to sustain. So I went out and I found a sponsor and we got that done. Uh, the book has been a great stream of revenue and now uh masterminds mastermind groups by far are i host mastermind groups for men and i got i got to tell you that

is the most it's the most fulfilling work that we do because i see the men who are involved in that and i see their lives change but i can tell you i mean without a shadow of a doubt for the first couple years i was a bad business person when it came to this because I had- Everybody is, man. That's the thing. That's the thing, right? Nobody fucking rolls out of bed and is a fucking top level entrepreneur CEO. It just doesn't happen. And certain people are more adept to certain things, right? But every person can learn these skills. And you went out and taught yourself the skills the same way I did. And the fact that you did it with, like I had guidance. You didn't have any guidance.

I mean, dude, to me, I think that's fucking super awesome. And I just. But he had desire and drive, which is what you talk about all the time. And purpose. Yeah. You know, and dude, when you have that purpose and that passion, you know, people get so confused when people say, find your purpose, find your passion, because they're thinking, well, how am I going to make money? I'm worried about money.

I got to pay my rent. I got to pay my bills. I got to do this. I got to do that. Look, man, you've got to put that shit aside in your brain for a minute and think about what you are passionate about and it will turn into something. You know, I, I, uh, I think the mastermind group, you know, it's such a testament to technology because we're in the history of time. Have we been able to connect with, let's say how many

people in your group? So we do groups of 10 right now. We have four groups of 10. So 40 people, okay, that are all interconnected, have the same interests, have the same desire to learn, have the same desire to get better from all over the country or internationally probably. When could you have done that before now? It's amazing. And that goes along with our last podcast with Farak.

You know, this dude's technology i don't know man like i don't know if i should feel amazed by this because it makes you feel old you know but like i'm still amazed by it like i'm still amazed when i walk in the room and i flip the light on that it fucking comes on right like dude like up and down like 50 times and emily's like what the fuck's wrong with you i'm like did you see that I don't know man maybe I'm an old soul but like the thing is is like it's just and that that part of it like being able to connect like that it's just so amazing and it's just the the opportunities are so unlimited you know if you're listening right now you know think about that right like really think about it yeah speaking of masterminds, Larry,

I get DMs, I get emails flooded with, or is it DMs? Sorry, it's PM or DM, I don't know, sorry. No, it's DM. He's going down on the DM. Anyway, I get all these, you know, this flood of people, because I help between Kelsey and I,

we field all the fan mail, and we're getting all this stuff for Andy to do a mastermind. So you got to convince Andy to do a mastermind. So you've got to convince Andy to do a mastermind. We talked about that. We talked a little bit about it. You know, listen, I'm not even going to get into it. We'll figure it out. All right.

Yeah. Let me say this back to your point of people writing you, right? Let me save you and maybe some of the writers a lot of time. When it comes to someone writing in saying, like, I'm passionate about something, but how do I start this business? The quality of our life depends on the quality of the questions that we ask ourselves. This is something that I've learned and I've tried. I even teach this to my kids. The quality of your life depends on what type of question are you asking yourself? So for instance, if you're asking yourself, how am I going to make money at this? That is the wrong question. The question really is, is how can I create something of value that's going to impact

others and change their life? Right. Because when the value's there, the money will be there. Exactly. If you don't focus on the money and you focus on the value, you focus on the content, you focus on, I mean, like you guys, you're in the health space. You change people's lives physically, mentally, emotionally, because we're connected to our bodies.

The healthier our bodies, the healthier we're connected to our bodies. The healthier our bodies, the healthier we're going to be. It's the same thing with being a father. If you're going to be a good father, you have to arm yourself with good information to be the best version of who you are. And that starts with asking yourself. And if you're a businessman, you need to ask yourself the right questions. It's going to lead you to the right solutions. Yeah. Especially with being a father, man, think about how important of a job that is. And so many guys just wing it through and they're like, Oh, I'm doing fine. Well, wouldn't it be worth you investing a little bit into trying to, what if you learned one lesson?

Isn't it worth whatever? You know what I mean? Like that's how I look at things. Like when I read a book, like people are like, well, I want to, I want to read a book, but I don't know which one to read. I'm like, fucking read them all. And, and you know what? If you find one sentence in that seven hours that makes you think something or sparks an idea or creates a thought that come become something, dude, was that seven hours or eight hours you put in a reading a book worth it? Of course it was, you know, and I guarantee you, dude, there's not a book out there that's written, not one that you can't learn some one thing from there's it doesn't it doesn't exist well and back to your love affair

with technology i mean we're living in a time where nobody has an excuse so if you say well i'm not a reader fine listen to a podcast or or go to a mastermind or watch youtube yeah there's so many resources out there although on the other, a lot of the resources in the dad space, you rightly pointed out, were lacking something, which is, of course, something we talk about is differentiating yourself from the rest of the field of people out there, which you've done really well. Well, thank you. It's been one of those things where we are literally paving it as we go. Because if you look at the dad space out there, there's not a whole lot of guys who are doing it. So we're literally making this as we go. Because if you look at the dad space out there, there's not a whole lot of guys who are doing it. So we're literally, we're making this as we go. I mean, we don't have any, really any track to follow whatsoever. Do you think that's a pride thing that a lot of dads have? They're not willing to accept that they're not a good dad. So they don't want to put that

out there. I think it's an ignorance thing. I think people don't think of it as, they think it's automatic. Like for you, it was an obvious problem because of the way you grew up. I think for most people, I think that they just think that it's natural to just keep going the way that things have been. They don't look to improve at things. I mean, do you think I'm right or wrong? No, I think you're exactly right. And I think that that's an awesome question comment because that's what I have found over doing this now for the past several years, that that is a very intimate thing to men. And we don't talk about it. We do not talk about this

thing. So a lot of us, you know, most men will live a life of quiet desperation. I mean, we've heard, we've all heard that quote and it is absolutely true, especially when it comes to fatherhood. It can be so incredibly humbling when you don't have the confidence. A lot of us feel very, very confident in the workplace. That's why we, we struggle a little bit with work-life balance because we feel that validation, that confidence in the workplace. And then we come home and we basically kind of get our shit handed to us because we don't know how to handle our kids and our relationships and that kind of thing. I never thought about it that way. Yeah. Yeah. It's very true. So yeah, it's, it's kind of this best kept secret, but when you have conversations with these guys, it's exactly what,

what Tyler just said, which is they have a tough time with it. They struggle with it, but they're not going to openly tell you that it's hard for them to even say it out loud themselves. I mean, so that's why I think a lot of the times the content with the way we presented on the podcast is like, Hey, we're arm and arm with you guys. Like there are times that we have sucked at this too. So we get it. We understand the frustration, but let me, let me show you some ways that we've, we've learned and we've done things a little bit differently. I think another thing that's relevant is something you posted either today or yesterday, Andy, where you said that most people's attitude is just showing up. Like if I just show up and do my work, I should somehow get a you know a prize or or get paid

for what I'm doing but so many dads I think maybe that's their mentality they're like well I'm not a bad dude I'm showing up I'm not I'm not a deadbeat dad I'm not I'm not like I go to t-ball yeah I go to t-ball but it's like okay great so you're doing the minimums but are you really committed to doing something that is just above and beyond the call of duty to really transform someone's life and really transform your own life. And that's the thing. I mean, most men do do that, but they don't want to do that. If you really get to the core of what a, what a father really, really wants, they don't want to be that they don't want to be minimal, but they don't really necessarily know how to do every, everything you just described.

So if you show a guy just some tweaks that they can make in their life, because most men, if you ask them, dude, I want to show up to this fatherhood thing and I want to do it with my hair on fire. Like, that's what I want to do. I want to look back on my fatherhood journey when I'm on my deathbed and go, you know what? I gave it every single thing I had and I didn't leave anything on the table. So, but a lot of men will go to their deathbed being like, man, could have, would have, should have, you know, I should have done that a little bit differently. Or maybe I should have done this a little bit differently. Maybe we should have done this more and I didn't,

you know, and that's exactly what we're trying to avoid. Makes sense, man. So tell us what worked in terms of the practical expand, expansion of the brand, and then we'll get into, you know, the talking points for how to kill it, not just as a dad, but in everything. Uh, so I, I think what I have learned and I had to, I learned this the hard way. So the, the good dad project, I technically kind of have two different brands under the good dad. I have the good dad project and I have the dad's edge. The dad's edge is, is the title of my book. But one of the things I've noticed is if you look

at the Good Dad Project and what it was several years ago or a couple of years ago, it was a bit softer, maybe a bit more sensitive. And what I found is that men don't really relate to that. Men relate to grit, mental toughness, a little bit of, you know, a lot of masculinity. So the Dad Edge, when I launched that book, I really understood that. So we changed up our podcast a little bit. We even changed our intros. I mean, I mean now our logo is you know we've got Spartans as our logo and that kind of thing and men really respond to that it's the same message it really is the same message you're just putting it on a platform that just makes it a little bit more receivable and and

men think it's cool so they we respond to that a little bit better versus a care bear holding your kid's hand exactly or some phd woman that is not a fucking dad right trying to tell you how to that a little bit better. Versus a Care Bear holding your kid's hand. Exactly. Or some PhD woman that is not a fucking dad trying to tell you how to be a dad. Right. Get the fuck out of here. That's true. That's very true. Fluffy unicorns and all that. Yeah.

So what caused everything to take off the most, though, in terms of the actual platform? I would say when I launched the dad edge book last September, uh, that was, that was a very raw book. I mean, it's a hundred page book, but it became an Amazon bestseller within 10 days. And I think the reason it is because I, the way I wrote the book is I wrote it as if I was talking to my best friend, you know, I wrote it as like, Hey, I am not up here. I'm with you in the trenches. Like I get it. I struggled with this for five years. And I, to be honest with you, I sucked at it. So in order to, when you, when you clear the air with a reader like that, they're like, okay, like I got someone who's going to

talk with me instead of down to me. That's why I think the book has really been received so well. And it was after the book that momentum started to just completely shift. Like even in our podcast, I mean, our podcast guests, we've had Frankie Edgar, the professional UFC fighter. We've had, um, we've had Carlos Condon, UFC fighter. We we've had, uh, Mark Devine, Eric Davis, Navy seals. I mean, and the coolest thing about the podcast is that when I get on the phone with these guys, I've never had to sell one person on coming on the show. I've never had to convince them. I mean, even like Frankie Edgar, who's high in demand, you know, I told him what we were doing. He's like, awesome. How do I get on the show? And I was like, man, this is so cool. So what I'm basically, my point is, is that

men want to talk about this. They really want to talk about their own views, their own perspectives, and they want to talk, they want a platform to talk about it. People in general too, will be the first in line to help if they know that your intentions are genuine i've i think that you know um we don't monetize at all and because i don't have to but the reality is you know i've had a lot of guests that just want to be on because they fucking love the mission that we're on you know what i mean so when your mission is pure and you're you're you're it's not just about like trying to monetize and get followers and all this shit you'd be surprised who would jump in and help

paddle the boat you know some big names i mean we've had some big names jump in on ours for you know i mean dude gary v volunteered to be he's like dude could i be on your show yeah you know that was fucking cool i'm like are you yeah of course le Lewis. Yeah. Lewis. I mean, dude, it's just, uh, I think people recognize that the world we live in right now is pretty screwed up. Need some help. Yeah. Yeah. And people recognize real dude. You know, it's, it's your mission has just got to be pure. It's another reason why that purpose and passion needs to be first and foremost in whatever you're doing. Well, I think that's why people receive your show so well, to be honest, because there is no fluff in it. It's very, very real.

I mean, it's real life. It's raw. And that's what people really relate to is the realness of it. Dude, I try to talk like I would talk to you if we were having beers. Right. You know? And people are like, man, you curse. Well, that's what I do.

Right. You know? There's no strategy behind it. Are you still getting people saying stuff to you about that? I mean, sometimes. Yeah. But if you get to the core of every, because I'm an avid listener of your show, if you get to the core of everything you guys talk about, it's to serve. It's to help people.

Yeah. It's to help people get out of their own way, enjoy life. And one statement you said in the beginning of the show was, life is too not to live with confidence yeah and that's absolutely true yeah you want to go through life being scared of everything and scared of every opportunity and afraid to afraid to go for the job you want or afraid that you don't have the confidence to get that job or go after the girl you want or the man you want or whatever it is the fuck you want like dude we were meant to come here and kick ass, you know, and that's it. And people are so scared of themselves and they think they need permission or they need somebody to tell them it's okay. Or, uh, you know, somebody even needs to believe in them. And the case is you

don't need any of that shit. You need to make a decision that I'm going to fucking do this and go make it happen. You know, nobody can really stop you. And the people who spend time trying to stop you are the same people that never get anywhere because you only have so much energy in a day and your energy success is just hard enough to where you have to put your energy in the positive way for yourself as opposed to trying to hold someone else back. So, I mean, dude, you don't have to worry about somebody trying to hold you back because they're just going to hold themselves back. That is one of the things too. You do something like So, I mean, dude, you don't have to worry about somebody trying to hold you back because they're just going to hold themselves back. That is one of the things too. You do something like this. I mean, the haters kind of come out of the woodwork a little bit,

but I think it's because there are people out there that just don't want to see you succeed. I mean, and that's one of the things going back to the whole dad thing. I even put a chapter in this in my book, which is be very mindful of the people that you surround yourself with. There's a chapter called choose your peers wisely. It's so important to get the toxic people out of your life. I mean, completely out. Yeah. Like zero contact. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And, and unfortunately sometimes, I mean, even with my upbringing, those toxic people showed up as family, you know, and that happens too, man. Yeah. Yeah. So that, that absolutely happens. But in order to be the best version of who you are, you've got to be around people that will build you up. Now I'm

not talking about people who are going to be fluffy and pat you on the back, but people are going to challenge you. People who are going to be challenging you because they want to see you succeed. They want to see you become better. Right? Yeah, dude. I mean, I've had to cut my circle way down. I mean, way down. Even family way down. You know, because, dude, and we've talked about this before. People come up and they underhandedly insult you. Like, oh, you still got that little vitamin shop? Yeah, motherfucker.

I still got that vitamin shop. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, just shit like that. You're still trying to be Tony Robbins? Right. Exactly. That's what it is now.

That's what it is now. You know? And, dude, so I just keep to myself, do my thing. And those same people, you know, they're eventually like, Oh, I'm so proud of you. Fuck you, man. You know what I mean? Like, dude, I'm like the kind of person I don't forget shit anyway. So when people make comments to me, I remember them forever. And then like, when I want to quit, I fucking think about that. And I'm like, fuck that guy. I'm not quitting, you know? But anyway, um, drop some science on us, Larry. What do we need? The talking points, best, best insight you've gotten from some of your, uh, some of your, uh, your guests. So

obviously the principles are transferable to anybody, but give us the best nuggets. The best nuggets for sure are, uh, the, again, I'll go back to the quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask yourself. I mean, if you ask yourself weak-minded questions, any question that you ask yourself, and we always default to this in our lives. To let yourself off the hook. Yeah, or to be like, why can't I? Or why me? Why does this have to happen to me? If you're asking yourself questions like that in any situation, it's the wrong question.

The right question is, how can I? Or what is it going to take for me to do X? You know, I mean, those are the right questions. So in any situation, even with our kids, I even teach this stuff to my kids, you know, which is if my kids fail at something, instead of berating them for failing, my question to them is like, okay, Hey, you know, you, you struck out or you lost the match or you got an F on that test. You got an F on the test. So what do we need to do to make sure we don't get an F next time? You know? And then they start thinking instead of me just lecturing them, they start thinking, well, I guess I better study more. Okay. Well, when is the best time for you to study? Well, I think the best time for me to study is in the morning. Cause you know, at night I'm tired. Okay.

So what we're going to do the next time you have a test, we're going to get up early and we're going to study. I mean, just things like that, just empowering questions that lead you to better solutions. Dude, and that's not just a trait of a dad. That's a trait of a leader. Exactly. You know what I mean? That's a pure leadership quality that you have to develop if you're going to run a company of any kind or develop to become a leader of any kind. You know, a coach, an athlete, you know, an entrepreneur, you've got

to be able to get people to understand and come up with the answers to their own questions. Because dude, there's a big fucking difference between telling somebody, hey, you need to do this, versus asking them, hey, what do you think they need to do and then coming up with that same answer? Big difference. You know, my one of my favorite things to do as a CEO is to ask people when they come to me, well, hey, you know, hey, Andy, blah, blah, blah. What do you think we should do? You know, and then if they don't get it like the first two or three times, then I tell them. You know, but, and I don't tell them like, hey, you need to do this.

I tell them like, it's more like, well, don't you think something like this would make sense? And then they're like, oh, yeah, and then we could do this. And they build on it. It builds their confidence, you know. I never thought about that in terms of, like, to your kids because I don't have any kids. Yeah. It's definitely easy to lecture them. And even ourselves, I mean, we'll get in that mindset of, like, well, maybe I'm just not enough of a father for them to teach them these lessons. Well, it's like, well, you're

asking the wrong questions, ask the right questions, the empowering questions. The other thing that we always hear about all the time is patience. You know, most men will struggle with patience. And that's really just a matter of, again, asking yourself the right questions. When we get frustrated, when we're in the heat of whatever obstacle it is, whether we've had a long day at work and our kids want, you know, we have meltdowns at home and whatnot, it's literally asking yourself the right question in the heat of the moment as well. So instead of blowing up and like, for instance, when I spanked my son, I could have easily have paused and said,

now wait a second, what do I want to do here? I don't want to do this, but instead I just reacted. Most men, what will happen is, is they'll just react. They'll just react. And then they feel like total shit after they do something, after they blow up or whatever. I literally see this every single day, you know? So I think it's ask, be able to, to create a productive pause in your, in your thinking and ask yourself a better question. That dude, that's, i've personally had a really really and i still don't have that master i mean i don't like i still react and not in business you know what i mean it's just uh that's such a hard thing to work on when you especially if you have any kind of fire inside

of you you know what i mean if you're a type a driven person it's hard not to react you also have to always talk yourself out of it. Right. But it's creating, I mean, and it takes so much practice. And this is something we talk a lot about on our masterminds is when you're, and we break it down of exactly how to do this, like mentally, I even have a visual like flow chart that I use that actually shows how to do this, when to ask yourself the question, when you start to feel the feelings of anger, panic, resentment, whatever it is, that is your cue to ask yourself a right question. When, whenever you hear the words,

why can't I, or why me? Boom. That is when you need to ask yourself a better question. So Larry, we always talk about the importance of being mentally tough and the success, you know, the successful people are very strong, mentally tough, but you know, Andy talks about, um, has talked about in the past that everybody you admire once felt like a fraud. And I think there is obviously a persistent struggle with feeling like a fraud. And I have two daughters. As you well know, fatherhood is a very humbling thing. So what would you say is the first step? Not so much in, in terms of reacting,

but what if you're just like chronically critical of yourself? How would you, how would you, uh, counsel guys to, to change that? We see that literally all the time. You know, guys are just very, they're, we're self-sabotaging and we do it in a very quiet way. And I mean, it goes back to, I mean, we were on a mastermind call actually last night where a guy, we, he was the man in the middle last night, which means we dedicate 30 minutes to whatever his topic is. And everything that he was talking about was that self-sabotage talk. So it goes back to which side of that voice are you feeding fear or are you feeding courage? Because whenever you start to hear that voice of self-sabotage, you're feeding fear. You're feeding that, that thing that just yammers away your

confidence. And again, we said at the beginning of the show that that's the last thing in the world that you want to, that life is too short not to live without it. So again, I mean, I know I'm repeating myself, but it goes back to asking yourself the right questions, which is when we, I'll give you a perfect example. Um, my son two weeks ago, uh, right before school was out, he didn't want to do homework. And if I could paint a picture for you guys, I had my two year old on my legs screaming. I had my three month old screaming. My wife was out on a run and my son was just basically banging on the, on the table saying, I'm not going to do my homework. Now here I am. I've been doing this good dad project thing for like four years. Right.

And I did the very grownup thing. I literally took my fist, I slammed it on the table. I got nose to nose and I said, you are going to do your homework. And I mean, I literally like scared the bejesus out of this kid, but I got up to that point where it was a self-sabotage and like, why can't I handle this? Like I got this going on. I got this going on. My kid's crying. Why can't I handle this? And I blew up. So when you do have those, when you do have those situations where you blow up, the biggest thing you can do is create healthy awareness around that. And one of the things that I did was I, I taught my son a lesson in that moment, which I went back to him and I basically said, look, we all know what you did wasn't right,

right? Yes. Okay. So you should have done your homework. We know that. However, the way I reacted was completely wrong. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, and I am sorry. So when you have like these self-sabotaging situations where you react and you have this knee-jerk reaction, it's not all that bad because then you have an opportunity to go back and teach that kid a lesson on humility because there is a lesson to be learned there, absolutely. When we screw up, it's an opportunity to teach our kids, Hey, we mess up too,

but that's a great opportunity to teach them ownership, extreme ownership of your own mistakes. Not only that, they, they respect you more for that. They do. You know, uh, employees are the same way. Right. You know what I mean? Like if you, you know, trust me, I've had a million times where I've blown the fuck up. You know what I mean? Like to the point where I was embarrassed about it. And I, every time I come back and be like, look, the reason I get so upset with you guys is because I fucking care. You know what I mean? And then you own it and dude, you know, that's how you build loyalty. You know what I mean? It just is, you know, there's a lot of people who run businesses or are in positions of leadership of any kind that can't admit when they make a mistake. And what you're

doing there is creating resentment. Right. You know what I mean? Um, it's just owning your own, it's taking responsibility. It's extreme ownership, which is an awesome book. It is an awesome book. I just got done reading that, but yeah, it's, that's a, it's a great opportunity to teach that. Guys, we don't want to run out of time before we tell you that Larry's website is the good dad project.com. And, uh, his book is the dad's edge, which you can purchase actually at the website. Um, Facebook, do you have a Facebook? Yeah, we do. So if you go, it's actually good dad project.com. If you go to, uh, if you go to actually any of our podcast episodes, if you go, it's actually gooddadproject.com. If you go to, if you go to actually any of our podcast episodes, if you go to, you can click on one of the podcast episodes in the resources at the bottom.

And the podcast episodes are on the gooddadproject.com. If you go to gooddadproject.com forward slash podcast, that's where all of our podcasts are. We actually have a link right to our Facebook. We have a closed Facebook group, which we have about 1600 guys. I mean, it grows by a hundred almost every single week. We just started not too long ago, but that's a great resource because it's basically a forum and we have 1600 guys in that, in that group that with their hair on fire, that just want to be better

fathers. They ask questions, they have concerns, and it's just a great way to interact with all these, all these different, I think you're, you're actually even on that group. Yeah, sure. Yeah. I'm a lurker. Yeah. Yeah. You are. I just take in the, all the stuff. You're a reader. I am. I am a reader. Yeah. Um, so, and your Instagram account is at, it's just good. The good dad project. Yeah. And then, yeah, Twitter is the good dad project. And you can buy it. You can't buy my book from my site, but it is on Amazon. And actually it should be, uh, by the time this show airs, I should have the audio book available. I just approved that. So we have the awesome dad's on the go, man. They're busy. They don't have, they don't have time to read. So guys, Larry is doing a really good thing and it's really high quality. So I really encourage you.

I've, I've read the book. It's a fantastic book. It's really down to earth. It's, um, it's, it's very practical and helpful. And there's a chapter in which we don't have time to go into this right now, but Larry and his wife experienced just a heartbreaking, soul-wrenching experience. And Larry talks about that in the book. And that chapter alone is worth the price of the entire book and more because it will help you to overcome the adversity that you face in your life, no matter what it is. And if I can make one comment on that, as we're recording this actual episode,

today would have been his two-year-old birthday. So, yeah, today is good. But we celebrate this day like my kids. We're going to go home. We're going to have a cake. So we make it a good day, not a bad day. And what was his name? Gabriel.

Yeah. So, guys, read the book. It's a powerful piece of literature. Guys, I'd like to add too you know i know we have a lot of guys listening and a lot of girls listening that aren't parents yet these principles just like the entrepreneurship principles can apply to your life these principles of being a good dad can apply to you being a good leader so it's worth checking into it. It's worth reading and it's worth getting into now. Like I said, before you actually need it. Um, you know, I, I, I don't know. I just can't

the parallels that you and I have talked about. Uh, it's just so funny. Cause it's like, you could take everything, all the principles that Larry talks about and put them directly into leading other people. It's, it's a good thing. So I'm real happy to have you on, man. I appreciate it. Yeah, man. It's an honor. And like I said, it's a, it's not necessarily a site or a podcast or even a book on parenting. It's more just being the best version of who you are and being a leader. Exactly, man. Exactly. Nice. Thanks, Larry. Well, cool guys. Well, Hey, listen, um listen um guys we appreciate you we love you the best thing you could do for us if you want to help if you're getting value

from the podcast is to share it with your friends um you see the clips that i post on instagram and facebook uh any you know anything you guys like the best thing you can do is share so uh oh and you're on youtube now yeah we're on youtube so we're gonna be hitting that hard tyler and i had a meeting about that last night so all right guys we'll see you next time