REAL AF with Andy Frisella - How to "Find" Yourself, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO215

Episode Date: February 16, 2018

The average person approaches the whole concept of “finding yourself” in a passive way. Truly successful people know that “figuring out” who you are meant to be isn’t an issue of figuring out anything at all. It’s a decision. You decide who you are and order your life to reflect that decision. You create the character. You put on the clothes. You go through the motions. You visualize it until you realize it.

I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon. Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me, gotta lose. What is up, guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host, and I am the motherfucking CEO. What do you think about that new intro? I like it. I like it. That's T Grizzly. When, if you're wondering what that song is, it's T Grizzly. When I love it, I'm all about it. I've been rocking it in my car nonstop. Just love, love, love the lyrics. So guys, today is Friday fire. I didn't get a chance to do Thursday Thunder. If you're new here, welcome. We do two podcasts a week, usually a more practical lesson on Tuesday. Sometimes we have guests, sometimes we don't. This is not an interview show, so it's not all the time that we have guests. On Thursday, and in this case Friday, I do either a Thursday thunder or a Friday fire. This is more of a motivational lesson.

You know, I actually even hate saying that because I'm not a fucking motivator. Okay. I had somebody comment on my YouTube show, the Frisella factor and say, Oh, it's a little dry. Well, you know what? I'm not here to fucking motivate you. If I speak in a motivational way, if the words come out of my mouth and they motivate you, great. That's called enthusiasm and you're hearing it and you're getting excited. And I love that. But if that's what you need to get through the day, if that's what you look for in the value of my content is motivation, you're missing the fucking point. So I'm not intentionally motivating you. If I have to say, Hey, come on guys, let's

fucking do it. You don't have it anyway. All right. It just so happens that when I say things, they happen to have energy behind them and they get you excited. That is not the point. So when I say Thursday thunder, Friday fire, I say it because I usually get excited. But the message that you're going to hear is going to be a very specific tool, usually based around how you think and how you think is very practical. So don't think of me as motivational speaker. I fucking hate motivational speakers. I love people that deliver content, practical content that you can use to win. With that being said, if you value the content, guys, please tell a friend, please subscribe to this podcast, and please leave a review.

This is an organic movement. The reason I do this podcast and I don't charge money for this content is because I see a fundamental problem with the way things are, especially in the United States. We, for the last 20 years, have created a generation of people that literally have no idea how to succeed in the real world. They're told they're special. They're told they're great. They text people nonstop. They don't know how to communicate. They don't know how to shake a hand. They don't know how to do the shit that's going to make them successful. And because they're taught the wrong shit, once they reach the age of becoming an adult, what happens? They go out in the real world and they get their fucking faces stomped on. That's why I do this. Because if you're one of these people, I want you to hear what the truth is. If you're one of these people, I want you to understand what it's

going to take. Okay. This is not a podcast. This is a fucking movement. This is about bettering yourself and bettering the people around you and bringing yourself to a point where you are an example of success in every single area of your life. I take this serious. I have a company that makes me a lot of fucking money. I have five more companies that make me a lot of fucking money. I don't have to do this. I do this because I fucking care. And what I ask of you is that you help me spread the movement. If you're listening to this and you're learning things and you're getting better and you're improving your life, please uphold your end of the bargain and bring me a new friend. Make a post for me.

Support me. Have people subscribe so that we can fix the problems that we have in this country when it comes to people being fucking weak. Now, pretty pleased with sugar on top spread the fucking movement now before I get into what I want to say I want to preface this podcast that I had an amazing conversation this week with a guest who is going to be on the show Tuesday his name is is Charlie Jabali. Okay. And Charlie, as you'll hear on the show coming up, was 2 Chainz, the rapper's manager for over 10 years. Charlie is an interesting dude. He's got amazing presence, but not in the way that you think of amazing presence. He's different. He's got positivity overflowing from him, which

normally turns me off, but you're going to love Charlie. And when you listen to Tuesday, you're going to love the podcast. I promise you. It's one of my favorite that I've ever done for a lot of reasons. And you'll find out why, but we talked about something on the podcast that is just too important for me to not speak about now. And that is the idea of finding yourself. Okay. We thought we talk about authenticity. We talk about being authentic. We talk about figuring out who you are and what you're about. And when we talk about those things, what do we really do? We talk about it being a journey. We talk about it being a quest. We talk about it being a process. And what do we do when we think about finding ourselves?

We think of it as like, dude, we're just kind of kind of live and we're going to go out there and eventually we're going to figure out who the fuck we are. And by definition, figuring out who the fuck we are and going out there and living and putting yourself out there and trying to be on this journey, what are we really doing? We are passively becoming what the world tells us we are. We are not actively deciding who the fuck we are and then going out and becoming that. Think about it. Go figure out who you are. Find out who you are. Go on the self-discovery journey. We hear this shit everywhere. And you know what? It's completely fucking backwards. You figuring out who the fuck

you are is not you figuring out who you are. It's you deciding who you are and then living a life that reflects that decision. Taking the action that reflects the decision. Going out and becoming who you are in your mind and living that life is a purposeful decision. And a lot of people will say, well, that makes you inauthentic. And that's why people don't do it because they think that if they decide who they are and go out and become what they want to be and make decisions based upon who they want to be and going out into the world and being that they feel like a fraud. We've talked about that before. They don't do it because they feel like it's inauthentic. Well, let me tell you something. Anything you do new is going to feel weird at first. The first day at the gym, you're going

to feel fucking weird. The first day at a the gym, you're going to feel fucking weird. The first day at a new job, you're going to feel fucking weird. The first time you go on a date with someone, guess what? You're going to feel fucking weird. But does that mean that you don't keep going? Does that mean that you don't keep pursuing? No, because you understand that good things happen from you making decisions and following through down those paths. Why should who you are be any different than that?

Finding out who you are is not you going out into the world and then having the world tell you who you are. No, but that's what most people do. Figuring out who you are is making a fucking decision about who you want to be and then going out and becoming that. And Charlie explained this in a unique way, which I thought was great. And you're going to hear it on Tuesday's podcast, but I'm going to sum it up for you here. He said, you know what? I created a character in my brain. I created a vision in my brain about who I wanted to be. And in his case, it was, his name was CEO Charlie. And I decided what CEO Charlie looked like, what his actions were, what he acted like, what he did. And I became that.

And that's what took him from being someone who was picked on for being chubby, who was somebody people laughed at, who grew up in a poor neighborhood, to someone who was making record deals for people like 2 Chainz. He decided intentionally who he was going to be. And what's cool about Charlie is he understood that you can reinvent who you are at any time you want. And you're going to hear that story on the podcast as well. I'm not going to spoil it for you. My main point was to address this idea that self-discovery is somehow a fucking vision quest. And eventually when you're 50 years old, you figure out who the fuck you are. That is not what successful people do. Successful people decide who they're going

to be and they become that. And I know firsthand from working with many, many, many, many hundreds and thousands of employees that most people don't know who they are because they haven't fucking decided who they are. You don't have to be a certain age. You don't have to be, you know, 30 years old. You don't have to be at a certain income. You don't have to have a certain credit score. You don't have to have anybody tell you it's okay. This is your decision because it's your life and you have to quit looking at it as it's some sort of journey and start looking at it as it's an intentional decision to be a certain way. That does not mean you're faking it. That does not mean you're inauthentic. That does not mean

that you are somehow less than somebody else. Everybody out there has insecurities. Everybody out there has times of low confidence. Everybody out there has times of feeling like a fraud. You just don't get to see that shit because they hide it just like you fucking hide it. The feelings that you have about your decision to be whatever it is you're deciding to be when it comes to yourself are normal. If you go out in the world and you decide to go on a self-discovery quest and go out in the world trying to find who you are, I'm going to tell you what you're going to end up with. You're going to end up with an average job. You're going to end up with an average income. You're going to add, end up with an average spouse. You're going to end up with an average house. You're going to

end up with an average car. You're going to end up with an average house. You're going to end up with an average car. You're going to end up completely fucking average because what the world tells you, you need to be is just like everybody else. Self-discovery is a serious thing, but I wouldn't even call it self-discovery. I would call it self-decisions. You need to start taking an active role in who you are. You need to not wait for people to tell you who you are. You need to decide what it is you're going to be and you need to back that up with actions that will build that life. Stop waiting for your boss or your spouse or your friends to tell you what you should and shouldn't do. Stop waiting for your boss or your spouse or your friends to tell you what you should and shouldn't do. Stop waiting for these people that you surround yourself with to tell you what you're good at and what you're not.

Decide what you want to be good at and be good at it. Decide who you are and what you want and go do those things. Do not look at it as I'm going to find out who I am. Look at it as I'm going to decide who I am. Two completely different concepts. And I could tell you right now, I promise most of the people that are listening to this podcast are people who have been passively letting the world tell them what they should and shouldn't be. A few of you have decided to be something on your own, but most of you have not. And if you want to build the life that you think about, that you're afraid to tell everybody about,

that you dream about, that you're looking up on Google when nobody's watching, when you want to build that life, you have to get intentional about who the fuck you are. You guys have to understand that life is an intentional journey. It's not a passive journey. Self-discovery is not wandering around in the fucking world until it hits you in the fucking face. Self-discovery is deciding where you want to go and learning some shit along the way. Outro Music