REAL AF with Andy Frisella - How to Live So That No One Has Power Over You, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO281
Episode Date: January 24, 2019When someone does something really stupid or scandalous and gets caught...how do you respond? When someone has an epic moral failure or crashes and burns in business...do you like to join the rest of ...society & social media & pile on the judgement & criticism? How you choose to respond to people who do shady things - including shady things to you - will determine whether you live your life enslaved to hate & bitterness...or whether you live your life with freedom and power.Â
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I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon.
Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me, gotta lose.
What is up, guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host.
And I am the motherfucking CEO.
Today, the pastor of disaster, my boy, Vaughn the Impaler, Jean-Claude Van Damme,
Vaughn E. Holmes.
You never heard that one before, did you?
I didn't hear that one, and I got another one that was just...
Vaughn Jeremy.
Well, yeah.
DJ, DJ God.
Vaughn Jeremy.
No comment on that one, but...
I'm a big fan of the Vaughn E. Holmes.
I hope that sticks. Vaughn E. No comment on that one, but... I'm a big fan of the Vaughn-y Holmes. I hope that sticks.
Vaughn-y Holmes?
Johnny Holmes?
All right, well, Google it.
And make sure you click on images.
We're having technical difficulties with Vaughn's mic,
but my intro is so fucking good, we got to keep it.
I agree.
Yeah.
So, Vaughn-y Holmes.
That's all right. Vaughn-y Holmes' microphone was not plugged in as I was teasing him. Is it working now, Tyler? Yeah, no, it's not. Okay, great. So,
that was great because- Well, a couple guys in the RTA syndicate actually came up with
one that I'm not going to lie, I think it's pretty bad, but I'll take it. What?
Ronald Schwarzenegger. Oh, I like it vonnel trump oh vonnel trump yeah i i like
i need to learn a guitar so i could be von halen von halen or von john vote
john von jovi that's right i don't know something that's too close that's too close yeah it's too
close all right dude what's up man i don't have any prep notes from you. What is that?
I'm just lying. I got two prep notes for episodes, but I don't feel like reading them.
Yeah.
I think we're just free-balling, aren't we?
Are we?
I think so.
Are we free-balling?
I think so.
I don't know.
Dude, you know, it's been a while since we got down, sit down and talk.
And one thing that I've been seeing so much of lately,
and the reason I kind of wanted to ask you and get your thoughts on this
was because you spent so much time in the ministry.
Is that how you say it?
Yeah.
Okay, in the ministry doing the Lord's work.
Doing the Lord's work.
Still doing the Lord's work.
Man of the cloth.
Man of the cloth.
Yeah. Not a chronic masturbator. Is that right? Or yes. I don't think so. What
does that mean? I think it means you masturbate until your dick falls off. No, but what's the
connection between that and the cloth? I don't know. They don't have sex, so they got to beat
off a lot. I'm just being real, dude. Let's be real. All right, let's get back on track. So here's the deal.
I've been seeing a lot of people on social media
for lack of better terms, judging other people very, very harshly. And I think it's a,
um, I think it's a good topic to think about just for, you know, we don't have to record for another hour, but I think it's something that everybody should be conscious of, you know?
So this could turn out to be a Sunday sermon.
It could be.
Or it could be a Thursday Thunder with Vaughn.
Yeah, it could be.
Could be whatever we decide we want it to be.
That's true.
But, because I have a feeling you're going gonna have a lot to say about this so dude
now more than ever our mistakes as human beings are publicized right right and the bigger the
name you have the more people want to jump in and find a crack in someone's armor, right?
Right.
And I think it's very, not that I think, it's very irritating to me and frustrating to me. Yeah.
Because in my opinion, we're all going to fucking stumble.
We're all gonna fucking stumble we're all gonna fall we're all gonna have things
happen to us that honestly are going to be they're not good things right right but it's like society
in general and especially um people who aren't as aware as, they tend to forget the fact that everybody fucks up.
Everybody makes a mistake.
Right.
Everybody screws up and falls on their face in public, right?
It happens.
Because, dude, 20 years ago, we didn't have internet.
So, you know, if somebody did something, they failed a business or, um,
they got a DWI or they went to jail or they got caught having an affair or a million other things,
right? You didn't have this huge, like public backlash. And, uh, to me, I believe in karma.
I don't know what everybody else believes, but I believe in that.
And I've dedicated a big, big, big part of my life to constantly trying to bring people
up and teach people.
And while it might not always be what they want to hear, I always feel like it's what
they need to hear, I always feel like it's what they need to hear, right? But the problem that I
have with a lot of people, especially on the internet, is how quick, and this goes for a lot
of you guys, and this has nothing to do with me, by the way, but this goes for a lot of you guys
listening to this podcast. When you see someone fall, when you see someone stumble, when you see
someone that has a hard time,
what's your normal reaction? Is your normal reaction to think, fuck, that guy's a piece of
shit and jump on the comments section and just trash somebody for no reason? Or is your thought
process, man, that's really unfortunate. I feel bad for him. I feel bad for the parties involved or feel
bad for her, bad for the parties involved and showing some empathy, realizing that the same
thing could happen to you down the road. And I know that you're saying there's no way I would
ever do any of those things, but let me tell you something. All of you are going to fall.
All of you are going to stumble. All of you are going to have situations that are embarrassing and that you don't want people
to know about you.
And I feel like that when you see someone, I don't care who it is, whether it be Obama,
whether it be Trump, whether it be somebody, you know, it doesn't matter.
And you judge so harshly their actions.
You are just begging the karmicic powers the universe god to teach you
that lesson back in a hard way yeah i mean what's your take on on where this comes from because i
feel like i mean dude one of the ten commandments is thou shall not judge says it right there and a
lot of you guys may not oh i don't believe in the ten commandments you know what it doesn't really
matter what you believe they're a pretty good good guideline for how to live a fucking decent life.
You know what I mean?
So what's your thinking?
Well, let me just say the first thing that came to my mind is what you were saying about, like, we could all screw up.
We could all fall.
And I don't know how to.
Bro, we are all going to screw up.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
It's not we could.
Absolutely.
We are.
No, I guess for me, and people don't believe me when I say this, but I really do mean it.
If I consistently make the wrong choices in life, even the little ones that add up, I actually believe that I am personally capable of anything.
If you, I mean, I don't think I'm going to like, you know, do a Hannibal
Lecter type thing, but reality is.
I'll be honest.
Like when he's cooking that brain, I'm like, man, that looks like it smells good.
Yeah.
It smells good.
Yeah.
But I'm just saying like, you know, if you can, if anybody consistently makes the wrong
choices little by little over time, you can become a person you never wanted to be.
Absolutely.
But, but. What's the saying? Good intentions pave the...
Yeah.
What is it?
Yeah, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Yeah. No. Well, it's interesting because I think people really
misunderstand the difference between making a moral judgment on an action, which we're allowed
to do. I mean, the Bible never says, you know, like a lot of times when people truly are in the
wrong, and then other people call them out, their first thing to say is, oh, judge not,
judge not lest ye be judged. But that's where they're wrong. It's okay. If somebody's clearly
in the wrong, it's okay to say, hey, I don't think that action is good. I don't think that's where they're wrong. It's okay if somebody's clearly in the wrong. It's okay to say, hey, I don't think that action is good.
I don't think that action is something that we want to...
No, that's just upholding your own personal standards.
Right, yeah.
So it's totally fine to be able to say to somebody,
hey, objectively, I think your action is wrong.
I mean, we do that on the show all the time, right?
Yeah.
The difference is that people don't...
Was it the RIT Syndicate recently that somebody
said, attack the performance, not the performer? Yeah, Lou Holtz.
Yeah, Lou Holtz said that. Attack the performance, not the performer.
How fucking cool was that?
That was incredible. I was kind of fanboy. I didn't even go up to take a picture with
them because I was like, I'm not going to do it.
I got a comment. I'm just going to go off track.
Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
Dude, I got a message the other day he's like
hey dude uh how's that arte syndicate going how i'm like why don't you ask some people who are in
it like dude we're doing shit that no one's ever done it's fucking amazing yeah it really is and i
feel almost like a hangover from being there yeah like this last week in laguna because like i was
so up the whole time and now i come back and and I'm motivated, obviously, and I'm kicking ass and I'm doing all this new shit.
I have this new energy about it.
And honestly, I personally learned a lot of new skills.
Yeah, I did too.
Yeah.
But dude, it sucks.
It would be cool if we could be with that group more often.
Oh, yeah.
You definitely have post-RTA letdown.
No, but I mean, the point being is that we've really lost the fine art of saying,
okay, this is objectively wrong.
But there's a difference between doing that and saying,
okay, that guy's doing something wrong, and screw that guy.
I condemn him.
Right.
And that's what actually Jesus is saying.
Right.
He's saying, judge not lest you be judged.
In other words, if you're going to be judging somebody else,
you better be darn careful about your own life.
That's right.
He actually, there's another place in the Gospels where he says, you know, we try to pick the speck out of somebody else's eye when we've got a plank in our own eye.
Oh, fuck, dude.
That's the truth.
It's a great metaphor.
And so, by and large, yeah, I mean, there's also another part in scripture where it says love does not rejoice in evil.
In other words, people who are really good people don't delight when somebody does something bad and gets in trouble.
I agree.
I think that's what irritates me about it.
I think that's what irritates me about it is that when someone does make a mistake or someone does fuck up or someone does make consistently bad choices,
there's literally, and this changes for you guys building a personal brand and you guys trying to become well-known and build your business.
I can tell you, the bigger you get, the more people are going to try to find whatever crack they can and fucking weasel their way in and expose it and dude i just i i
see that shit like literally non-stop like so much so like people can post something online
or say something in a youtube video or a podcast or a blog one sentence out of literally thousands
and thousands and thousands of hours of good shit or you know something like
that and dude the the the response it's like dude they look for that one thing and then you'll have
40,000 comments on that one fucking thing when that person has done the complete opposite
and like dude I see that as evil like I don't see that as a good thing and dude that i think
that the morals and values of society are being corroded because people are becoming accustomed
to the way that the media attacks literally everything that they do right so because we're
watching the media and we're and they're dude i literally when I go to the gym and I see the news headlines like it'll be something like oh Trump took a shit today and
he didn't use fucking wet wipes and it'll be on the fucking screen for seven hours it's like dude
is that really all that we have to talk about is that all we have to focus on you know and and that's just an example obviously
but we see this with social media personalities or business people you know dude Jeff Bezos gets
caught fucking having an affair fuck Amazon fuck this fuck that fuck fuck fuck blah blah blah you
know dude I'm never and those motherfuckers order Amazon that night. You know what I'm saying?
Like,
dude,
shut the fuck up.
Right.
Like you're full of shit.
You're,
you're morals.
And dude,
and,
and beyond that,
like,
who the fuck are you?
You know,
this guy is,
this guy is a billionaire.
He's fucking what he did.
Yeah.
Fucking wrong.
Completely agree.
I'm not saying it's right.
Right.
But like,
dude, who are you to fucking talk shit on someone you don't even know?
You don't even know the situation.
You don't know anything.
You don't know anything about it.
You know what I mean? Other than what the media tells you.
And I guess like, dude, a lot of you guys and a lot of people out there that you know
are just fucking sheep.
They're just repeat.
It's like children.
I can't think for myself. So I just repeat shit
that I see other people saying, because I want people to like my comment or like my post.
And dude, that's, you know what, if that's you, if you're that kind of person that piles on
when people are down or vocally, you know, expresses negativity at every fucking opportunity,
your life fucking sucks. I know it
does. I know you're broke. I know you're miserable. I know you, cause you don't see people with their
shit together having that. You do not see people with their shit together talking shit like that.
No, absolutely not. You never see it. So when I was studying, studying for the pastorate,
uh, you have to do these internships. And I, I took an internship with this guy who had been
a pastor for like 25, 30 years at that point.
And he was like a real conservative dude.
He was real straight-laced, had been married to his wife for a long time.
They had a great relationship.
And I asked him, I said, so how are you different now than when you started out in the pastorate?
He goes, well, a lot of ways, but I'll tell you one way.
He said, the first year I was a pastor, if a couple would have come in,
and the woman said to him, caught my husband cheating.
And he said to me, I would have immediately like, what are you thinking?
Like, get your head out of your butt kind of thing.
That's completely wrong.
Scriptures condemn that, et cetera, et cetera.
He says, 25 years later.
You don't think that motherfucker already knows that?
Right, exactly.
But 25 years later, he said, is it still wrong?
Yes.
But after 25 years of living with human beings,
I realized there are reasons these things happen very often.
And it doesn't make it okay.
But, you know, he said said i would ask questions and i would
say okay well what kind of relationship well maybe for the last 10 years his wife has been
treating him like crap maybe the guy feels like a complete failure at work maybe he's got maybe
he's got stress maybe he made the wrong decision and getting married in the first place possibly
but the the point being again is that is that he said Vaughn it's it's you can still
objectively recognize that something is wrong but have empathy for people and understand kind of why
they did it that's what it is right and I think yeah and I think that's what it is dude there's
people right now listening being like oh my god you're sympathizing with Bezos for screwing another
girl you're a piece of shitzos for screwing another girl?
You're a piece of shit.
No, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, is you don't fucking know what the fuck happened.
And you have no right, being a sinner through your nature, you have done, every single one
of you have done shit you're not proud of, guaranteed.
And just because your shit might be stealing a pack of kool-aid from the grocery
store and their shit might be publicly uh having an affair that doesn't mean it's any better
your shit is just as bad as their shit and you guys you guys have this people have this uh
this way of of like ranking bad things no bad things a bad fucking a bad fucking thing. You know what I mean?
There's people listening right now
who have been cheated on
and they're like, dude,
you've never had it happen.
Motherfucker, I've had more shit happen to me
than you'll ever fucking know.
And you know what the difference is?
I let it go.
I've had three long-term girlfriends
fucking cheat on me behind my back.
I let it go.
I got fucking stabbed in the face, dude.
The guy took away my nerves, my feeling, my confidence, my self-esteem for a really, really long time. And it was my decision
to turn that around and make it a great thing that saved me. Right. And these people, you people
right now who are angry and bitter and upset with people who did you wrong,
you have to understand that you are the only one that's affecting you right now.
And you're holding yourself back.
You're punishing yourself by staying angry, by staying mad, by staying frustrated, and by staying bitter.
And dude, the more you do that, the less you can do
in a positive direction. And you might not realize it, but when you comment and talk shit and do all
that, you are just feeding the negativity that lives inside you, which we all have negativity that lives inside of us. And that negativity
should be used to drive you to be better, not keep you in the same place. You know,
we talk a lot about the dark side, right? The dark side can fucking eat you up, dude.
If you don't know what you're doing, you can eat you up. And if, and it does, most people,
most people get told they're worthless. Most people get told they're not good enough.
Most people get shit on by a girlfriend or a boyfriend
or cheated on by a girlfriend or a boyfriend.
And instead of taking those lessons and saying,
you know what, I am going to prove that that is not who I am.
Guys who went to jail, how many guys do we have email us that
were like ex-cons that are now starting businesses and doing good things in life dude
it's it's all about empathy for real and like I hate saying that word because Gary used that
word so much you know I feel like I'm just gary we'll revitalize it yeah so but dude uh it's
and not that i hate gary i just don't like using other people's fucking shit they use um
but the point is is that dude you gotta be you've got to be we did an episode on forgiveness i don't
know what the episode that was we haven't actually but we should do a full or do a post on it you and
i talked about doing an episode on forgiveness we i think I do a post on it? You and I talked about doing an episode on forgiveness.
I think I did a post on it.
You might have done a post, yeah.
But like, dude...
We should do a full-blown one on that.
Yeah, you've got to...
Well, this could be it, dude.
This could be it.
You've got to let go of all this shit, man.
And like, yes, it's okay to remember the kids
that made fun of you,
but it's not okay to believe them
and keep that from doing what you need to do.
It's okay to remember them whenever you're feeling like a pussy and you don't want to
go to work or you don't want to go do what you have to do or you don't want to go to
the gym to use that as a driver.
But if you use it to stay where you are because you believe that you're not good enough or
that what they said might be true or this or that that really what you're doing is condemning yourself
to a life inside of a box that other people created that um is quite honestly
completely made up in your own head you know what i mean yeah we just celebrated martin luther king
day uh right uh all across the united states and one of his greatest quotes is i will not hate any
man i will never let him have that power over me.
And I think that's a great...
Dude.
Yeah.
I mean...
He's one of the most brilliant people to ever live.
But I mean, it's brilliant to think about, like, if you actually hate somebody...
We could really use him right now.
Oh, we could.
I know.
If you actually hate somebody, they are actually exercising power over you.
How do you think MLK would fucking feel about the media divisively just fucking driving a stake
between socioeconomic and racial relations in this country
every chance they get?
Oh, I think it...
Dude, he would be burning shit down.
Yeah, but I think...
He was a vigilant dude, man.
He didn't care if he went to jail.
That's what people don't get about him.
He wasn't like this super nice guy, dude.
The guy just had a backbone
and he stood up for what the fuck was right what he knew was right not just for black people
but for all people i actually think he would i think he would piss off both sides oh fuck yeah
like dude totally i'm not taking one side over another i'm saying everybody's fucked up yeah
like dude we're all in this shit together.
We're all fucking here together. You know, like it doesn't take a rocket science to figure that out.
Yeah. But I mean, back to your, just the whole question about, you know, why do other people take delight in, uh, when somebody screws up and really wants to just like rub their face in it
and make sure they pay. I don't know, man. It's bitterness, dude. It's weird. It's bitterness. I guess it makes you, it's an attempt to feel better about yourself. That's right.
See, I told you that guy was a piece of shit. I told you he was fake. I told you he was this. I
told you he was that. You know what? That's real easy to say from an outside point of view when
someone fucking stumbles at one thing. You know i'm saying and let's be real dude every
single person saying that shit is guilty of some shit as well and like it's just toxic behavior
and what what irritates me is when people try to spin it as if it's positive behavior see
i'm exposing that person uh no you're not because it's already out right you're you're stomping on somebody who's in a bad
position what's that say about your character right you see what i'm saying no i absolutely
see what you're saying you know one of the things that i personally believe that if you stomp on
people when they're down i don't care if they're your competition i don't care if it's someone you
hate if you're one to pile on and say some shit to them i don't care what they did i don't care
if they killed somebody if your person like if
you're gonna stomp on them and say shit and just fucking trash them and this and that it says more
about you than it does about them yeah and that's my you know dude I've been fucking stabbed the guy
who stabbed me got a charge with attempted murder he was trying to kill me he wasn't trying to beat
me up you know what I don't hang on to that i forgive that dude like i hope he's living in a
productive life i hope he's successful i hope he's winning i hope he's doing a good thing
and if he is great you know what i'm saying like i don't have any bitterness towards him because
what good does it do a world nothing it only holds me back yeah it holds you back and and what does
it what good does it do the whole world if that guy continues in his miserable right
hurt more people yeah and you know uh people always ask me they're like dude how do you feel
about that guy getting out of jail i'm like well you know what i i wouldn't want to go to jail
if i had to trade places i'd rather have scars on my face and go to fucking jail get ass raped
you know i'm saying like i don't want to go there so you know I would if I had to pick
the situation I'd rather be me in this situation he went and did his time that's enough for me
I'm sure he's sorry I'm sure he's moving on and that's great I literally don't it's I don't even
think about it you know I don't think about it no you don't um You know, it's interesting because I do think that...
But dude, how would most people react to that?
Oh, it would consume them.
Forever.
Yeah.
Forever.
Absolutely.
And that's the choice people have.
They'd spend their whole life plotting revenge.
Right, and that's the choice people have.
That's the choice.
The choice is when bad things happen to you, you have the decision
to either make it work for you or to keep you in the same spot. Right. And use it as an excuse or
a story. Dude, I could have fucking, I could still be doing the same shit that I was then
and telling everybody, dude, you know what? I could have been so such a successful businessman. You know,
I've got good things to say, but that guy came and he fucked up my face. And now, now I'm,
I waste, you know, I could never do it because he took that from me. Like I can fucking say that
shit. And you know what? People will believe it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You know,
what's interesting. I don't know if you've noticed this as a leader in business, but what's interesting is not only do people want to just pile on the abuse when somebody screws up. Isn't it true, though, that sometimes the person who actually screwed up feels like they should be treated poorly? And when you as a leader say, no, it's all good, man, they're like, no, man, I deserve to get beaten up for this.
And they almost don't know what to do when you say, it's all good. It's okay. I forgive you.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes. I mean,
unfortunately, most of the time, people can't take responsibility for their own actions.
Well, that's true. But I think that's a sign of someone knowing they did wrong.
And that's probably the person that's going to change the behavior process.
You know what I mean?
But right now we have all this stuff out there where it's like, you know, it's fucking ridiculous.
Yeah.
It is interesting.
I think when we're dealing with somebody who's made a massive mistake or done something really bad, I do think that...
What's really bad? Well, I don't know. What's really bad i do think that what's really bad well i don't what's really
bad well it's interesting it's interesting you ask that because you know depending on your
depending on even your because if you look at the internet and you look at what people fucking say
and you look at what they fucking comment dude making a misspelling in your fucking post is the
end of the world. Yeah, right.
Right?
Yeah.
Like, dude, I guess the reason I'm sort of ranting on this is because if you listen to this podcast and you follow me
and you follow my company, I do not want you to follow me.
I do not want you to be a part of this movement.
I do not want you to buy my products.
If you're going to be the person
that is going to pile on negativity to other people. And you're going to celebrate someone
else's demise. I don't want that shit. Go somewhere else. Get the fuck out of here.
You guys listening and me and us, we should all be the people who stand up and have empathy for
other people and say, you know what? That was wrong, but I made mistakes
too. And I've done shit too. And I've done this and this and this. And you know what? Use it as
an opportunity to improve yourself versus an opportunity to fucking pile on someone else's
bad shit. Because dude, if you feel good when somebody else falls, you know what you're telling
the universe? You're saying, I like it when people fail yeah and you know what the universe gonna give you a bunch of fucking failure
yeah i believe that i believe it's a heavy topic man it's a good one i uh i just think in general
um the whole point of all of us is is improving people, is developing as people, is becoming the best version of
ourselves. And we've got to ask ourselves that when somebody screws up, you know, is the proper
response just to rub their face in it and make them feel terrible? Or is the proper response
to ascertain whether they actually recognize that what they did was wrong and then to help them to get better you know i mean it sounds to me at least or at the very least keep your mouth shut
yeah and keep your fingers quiet and look in the mirror and see how you can get better yeah
absolutely because dude that's what successful people do successful people look at other people's
mistakes and they learn from right right and that's that ain't gonna happen if you're
always just judging people right no that's absolutely true i don't know dude it's just
something that gets on my fucking nerves and i've seen a lot lately um on social media just people
fucking piling on people that you know i don't know. It's just annoying. I get it.
Yeah, no, I mean, I get it from a spiritual background.
I mean, to this day, one of my favorite stories that Jesus tells is the story about the Pharisee and the tax collector.
The Pharisee is like the really, really religious guy
who literally in the story says,
Lord, I thank you that I'm not like other men. I don't do this and I don't do that. And I'm not
bad like everybody else. And he's literally like so wrapped up in himself that it's like disgusting.
And then you have another guy who the people of the day would have considered a total
like douchebag. And he said, and he beats his breast, which is a sign of
repentance and contrition. And he says, I can't even look to heaven. I'm just not even worthy to
look to heaven because I realize how much I've screwed up. And Jesus says, which one of those
two people you think actually pleases God more? The one who recognizes he messed up.
Right. Yeah, exactly. And so that's always been's always been one of the key stories for me is,
is just to say really at the end of the day, you know what, I'm screwed up. But, but to say that,
not in a way that's just beating yourself up, but just to say, Hey, I am who I am and I screwed up.
And when I screw up, I'm going to admit my fault. And I'm just going to say, Lord, help me do
better, dude. You know? And that's it. And then guess what? Go try to do better. you know and that's it that's it and then guess what go try to do better yeah let it go you know what i mean because that's the other side of this coin is that
sometimes people are so harsh on the criticism themselves yeah that they end up holding
themselves in that box you see what i'm saying yeah absolutely absolutely i mean i that's probably
just as common as the other side of the coin. Like holding yourself.
Oh yeah, dude.
Dude, I, I, you know what?
I didn't let that, that old lady in, in traffic today.
Cause I was in a hurry.
I'm a total fucking piece of shit.
Hey man, we all did that shit.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, it doesn't mean that it's okay.
And next time, you know what?
Try to remember that.
So you do it better.
You know what I mean?
Absolutely.
It's just, um, it just takes a different kind of awareness to be that way you do it better you know what i mean absolutely it's just um it just takes
a different kind of awareness to be that way you know and and i feel like it's getting corroded
because of the information that we consume on a daily basis that we literally have zero zero
ability to block out because it's everywhere it's negativeizing, and super critical of every single move that people make.
So what do people do in real life? Negative, polarizing, super critical of every single
person they know. Absolutely. Well, you know your boy Miguel from the Arate Syndicate? Yeah.
He gave me a great book. Mr. I Hump A Lot? Yeah. Miguel's got how many?
Fuck, 15 kids. 15 kids?
That's not bullshit. Yeah. bullshit 15 I love what he said though
in one of our meetings he said I don't have more sex I'm just more productive dude he certainly is
the most productive man I know but uh he and one of the coolest dudes yeah and he gave me a great
book by uh I think like it's a French a French guy French Catholic priest and he this priest who's
known this name's Father Jacques Philippe,
he's known for really helping people. He makes a point in the book that, you know, we think,
we feel better, especially if you're like religious or Christian, you feel better if
you beat yourself up for your sin. But he says, it really doesn't do anything.
No.
You basically just have to say-
It's kind of productive.
Yeah, it's kind of productive. So you basically just have to say of productive yeah it's kind of productive so you basically just have to say man i screwed up sorry lord i'll move on right you know that's it like
at what point do you just like but mean it don't be one of these people don't be one of these people
who goes to church on sunday and then you go in and you think that's your your your clean the slate
uh oh i was a dick. Like,
do we all know this story?
Right.
Right.
Like the guy goes to church.
Uh,
he gets his cautious clear and on the way out of the parking lot,
he's giving people a finger cause they're not moving fast enough.
Right.
That's,
that's not,
no,
that's not sincere contrition or yeah,
no,
I get it.
But,
but really you're right that so many people do, like, they put themselves in the penalty box.
Right.
And sometimes you deserve to be there for a little bit.
You do, and in some cases, you do.
But why is the penalty box only two minutes?
Oh, because you can't play the game
if you're in there the whole time.
That's right.
That's right.
So how the fuck are you going to,
you got to let yourself out of the penalty box. Right. You know what I'm saying? Nobody's coming. The referee ain't skating over to the
penalty box and open it for you. You get to let yourself out of the penalty box. Okay. And a lot
of you guys forget that. And you know what? When you see someone who's been sitting in the penalty
box for longer than two minutes, maybe it's a good idea to reach over and help them get out of it.
Absolutely. You know, Andy, we've talked about this before from different points of view over the course of the last couple of years. But, you know, you've always said at the end of the day,
your emotions don't matter. It's action that matters, right? Well, this applies. Because
instead of beating yourself up about it, if you can make something right,
if you've done something wrong and you can make it right, go make it right.
Yeah.
It's more important that you make it right than that you feel bad.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
And I see, but dude, there are situations you can't make right.
No, there isn't.
Yeah.
And if you can't, if you really tried and the other person just won't forgive you or
there's just, I don't know, there's just no way you actually can make it right,
then yeah, you have to just say,
okay, if I could, I would, but I can't,
so I'm going to move on.
I have to.
Absolutely.
You have to move on.
Because if you don't,
you'll be sitting in that box your whole entire life
and guess what?
That's not, nobody really deserves that.
No.
You know, you kill 40 fucking people,
you probably deserve it.
But we're talking about common day mistakes.
You know what I'm saying?
Right.
Shit that happens in real life.
Right.
That's not quote unquote illegal.
Right.
But more so, you know, shit that just happens.
Right.
You know, because right now you got all the same motherfuckers listening who are like
super judgmental being like, well, what if someone raped someone or what if someone kills
a kid or what if someone kills a kid
or what if someone commits murder or blah, blah, blah?
Dude, you're the fucking problem I'm talking about.
You're the problem.
Get the fuck off my podcast.
Go sit in your fucking miserable house
and troll other motherfuckers.
You know what I mean?
If you don't understand what we're talking about,
you are not smart enough to be here.
Sorry.
Exactly.
And to spell it out, obviously in so many cases, there are consequences.
Like you kill 40 people, there are consequences.
That's right.
But at least I believe if that person comes to a point in their life where they are genuinely
sorry for having done that, they can be forgiven by God.
I believe that too.
Absolutely.
I believe that too. And no matter what you do, they can be forgiven by god i believe that too absolutely i believe that too and and uh and no matter what you do you can you know what there's people that will argue
that vehemently like like they will fucking completely argue that case but i i disagree
with that right i no i i i'm i'm with you and people are like well wait till you have some
shit happen to you motherfucker i've had shit happen to me.
You know what I'm saying?
So I'm speaking from a point of experience here.
And it may not be your exact experience, but I've had some pretty fucking bad shit come down my pipeline.
And I've fucking taken it and I've fucking learned from it and I've gotten better because of it.
Well, dude, don't you think on some level all of humanity can be divided into two people because everybody on some level has hurt everybody else that's right so all of humanity can be
divided into two types of people the people who used being hurt and and experiencing suffering
at the hands of other people they use that as an excuse to hate and the people who have had the
same things happen to them and they say say, no, you know what?
I'm not going to perpetuate it.
I'm going to choose to love.
Isn't that why Martin Luther King was so great?
Yeah.
Isn't that why he went down in history and will continue to go down in history
as one of the best human beings that ever lived?
Absolutely.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
That's a real example to follow.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Because, dude, he had some terrible shit happen to him too uh not to mention somebody killed him yeah you know what i mean yeah
yeah and it's funny because i bet if he fucking came back he would forgive that dude oh no question
i bet he would absolutely no question well he quotes jesus several times about loving your
enemies and praying for those who persecute you which let's just be real honest is not easy no and which is why somebody like martin luther king is so amazing
that he did that yeah you know and you know what's funny too man is like in in business situations
like dude it's such a it's such a weird dynamic to think about but because like i can hate i can
literally like want to destroy my competitors which i do
okay but i can also feel empathy for them when they're struggling oh yeah at the same time
because you've been there that's right you know how it feels yes yeah and i do that all the time
you know i see people who i i see them copying our business model or doing bad things you know
to just rip us off and this and that
and i'm like you know what fuck those guys but i don't get bitter about it i just get better
about it you know what i mean and then when i get better and i see a squash them then i'm like man
dude i wish they would have been a little bit more aware you know what i mean but it's it's um
i think it's a dynamic that you can utilize both those situations.
Because people right now, they're like, you're the step on the throat guy.
You're talking about stepping on throats, but now you're talking.
Dude, you could be the same guy.
You could be the guy who wants to fucking win.
You could be the guy who wants to compete.
You could be the person who wants to be the best.
And you could be the person who wants to stomp everybody's fucking brains out but you could also be the person that when you get to that
point that your head and shoulders above the other people you can reach out and help them get on
their feet and help them get you know i don't know to me that i know that sounds weird no it to me
that that's actually the sign of a true competitor because it's like I don't know. To me, that's actually... I know that sounds weird. No, to me, that's actually the sign of a true competitor
because it's like, I don't know if you heard the story.
Dude, I respect it.
The story about, I mean...
Dude, I got enough...
Is anybody going to question Tom Brady's competitive attitude?
No.
He's a beast.
No.
What does he do afterwards?
That was awesome.
He quietly makes his way over to Patrick Mahomes,
what is it, the locker room, and they exchange words in a positive way.
I mean, this is all great leaders, all great competitors had this.
People used to wonder why Reagan, Ronald Reagan, being a Republican president, could get along so well and have such a great friendship with the Democrat Tip O'Neill.
And his answer one day was, yeah, well, cocktails in the evening, pistols at dawn.
That's right.
I mean, that's the way it goes.
Yeah.
And that's what true competitors, that you can, well, you know what?
I think it was J.P. Donnell.
I'm pretty sure it was J.P. Donnell that actually said, like, he didn't have anything personal
against the people they were fighting against.
One of those SEAL guys said, you know, we think they're wrong,
but they love their country
or they love whoever they are.
We think they're wrong.
We'll blow them away.
That's fine,
but we don't have anything personal against them.
Battle is battle.
It's not like a personal hatred
toward the people that they're fighting against.
I don't want to put words in his mouth.
No, dude, I saw a cool video.
I forgot who posted it, and this is like a year or two ago,
so I can't remember the exact details, but it was from an airport,
and it was an American guy who was a Vietnam vet,
and it was a Vietnamese general or soldier who he had actually fought against,
and somehow they had connected
and become friends from and like the Vietnamese guy had flown to the U.S. and like dude they met
each other it was one of the craziest things I've ever seen yeah I can't remember where I saw that
video but man but that's fairly common like I I've done a lot of reading on World War I recently and
a lot of the English troops after the war,
they'd meet the Germans and they'd be like,
hey, you know, how's it going?
And they just didn't hold it against them.
You guys kicked their ass.
Yeah, right, right.
But I don't know, man.
You bring up a good, it's a good topic though.
Yeah.
Just this whole thing of condemnation and forgiveness and judging.
It's an important thing to think about.
And neither you nor I are in a place to condemn anybody for anything.
No, ever.
It's a level playing field.
That's right.
Yep.
And the other thing, you know, the other thing you have to understand is that, you know, I, I guess, you know, people could perceive me as like attacking
people who are poor, people who are broke, but that's not true. It's not true at all.
You know what I'm attacking? I'm attacking you being okay with not fulfilling your own potential.
That's not okay. You know what I mean? Yeah. So if your potential is the
highest potential that you have is to make $28,000 a year and be a garbage man or a janitor or
whatever, and you do a great job and you work hard at it and that's your potential. Fuck yeah,
dude. I love that. Dude, you, you you have consistently you have consistently said that you are the measure
of your own true potential so if there's a guy who's working his tail off and his his life's
accomplishment is being a manager at mcdonald's i think that's amazing he is more of a success
than the guy somebody could have been a billionaire but was only a six-figure that's right that's right absolutely a thousand percent yeah
dude I one thousand percent agree with that like I couldn't even tell you how much I agree with
that yeah I mean that's just how I see it that's how and the people that listen that's how I see
the world dude yeah me too you know what I'm saying that's why when I see someone who's
who's sweeping the parking lot or doing something that other people
would you ever notice too man it's always the losers that turn their nose down to other people's
like quote-unquote work like you never see a successful person and I know there's exceptions
but let me rephrase that you rarely see a successful person who is self-made that treats people who do modest jobs in in an inferior way you just rarely
see it but i see regular motherfuckers who aren't living to their own potential who you know you
could say a whole bunch of shit about treating waitresses bad or looking down on a janitor or
you know looking at the warehouse guys and automatically thinking
they must be stupid. Some of the smartest motherfuckers, those guys are smart. Some
of the smartest motherfuckers I have in this company working at warehouse. And you know why?
Because they're the last people to touch the product before the customer gets it. So I have
to have intelligence out there. I have to have people that care out there. It's an important fucking job.
And dude, this is the paradox of what people think success is about.
You know what I mean?
Most people think it's feed up CEO, go do this, go do that.
It's not that at all.
It's empowering people to be great at what their potential could be.
Right.
I've got guys who are executives of my company.
I've got guys who own franchise models my company. I've got guys who own
franchise models of our retail stores that are going to be millionaires literally on their way
to being millionaires if they're not already. Cause I don't look at their personal finances
that started with me at $7 an hour. You know what I'm saying? Like dude, when they were in the
stores cleaning the fucking toilet, when some lazy employee or lazy customer pissed all over the toilet seat,
most of these people who are earning, you know, $28,000 a year who have peaked in high school and who think they're fucking great would be talking shit on that person.
Oh, dude, I'm working over at so-and-so place making 10 times as much as you.
That guy's a dumbass. Now who's the dumbass? You get what I'm working over at so-and-so place making 10 times as much as you. That guy's a dumbass.
Now who's the dumbass?
You get what I'm saying?
Absolutely.
Dude, the judgment part of things, I guess it's just something that like,
and like I'd like to say this too.
I would say in my 20s, I was very judgmental.
I used to be the person who'd be like, yeah, fuck that guy.
He's a piece of shit.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And now that I'm in my later 30s, I feel totally different, like a completely different person.
Yeah.
My experience as a pastor is that younger people tend to be more judgmental because
they haven't lived life.
They haven't failed.
They haven't been beaten around a little bit.
Oh, Andy, why are you so judgmental
against the young entrepreneurs?
Right.
Hey, motherfucker,
it's immoral to sell people information
about shit that you never did.
If you're reading someone else's theory
and then selling it as a product
to people who don't know
any better and you've never actually done it, that's an immoral thing. So yes, I don't like
that. Yep. All right. So let's just get that out of the fucking way. Um, we could talk about that
all fucking day too. What else do we want to talk about dude well you know i could talk about
arts hey 24 7 but i just want to drive obsessed i am man those those people are wonderful and and
to your point earlier like you are literally obsessed with that group and i dude i love it
that's a good thing no i after how much how much fun is it to work with people who are not just people who claim
to want shit, but actually you teach them, they go out and do it. They come back in four months
and they're like, dude, I made an extra this, or I opened a new office. Dude, almost every single
one of the people I talked to in that group had made significant progress in the four months between our first
summit and our second summit. I thought that was amazing. I agree. Like it was either a new office
or more money or more employees or better culture, like real improvement. And dude, that's, that's
exactly why we started that. Yep. Dude. But here's the thing.
What have you been saying
for 280 episodes?
How do you make money?
By helping people.
By helping people.
Yeah.
By providing value to the world.
Those people
are the epitome of that.
Oh, yeah.
That is how
that they have made millions.
Yeah.
They have a help mentality.
Dude, and I'll be
fucking perfectly honest. Provide value. I'll be perfectly honest honest and a lot of you guys will email me be like i
don't belong in that group i don't you know i'm not smart enough dude let me tell you something
this is the honest to god's truth there are some extremely fucking intelligent people in that group
derrick struggle dude one of my favorite guys in the group super smart yeah i'll probably end up working for
that dude someday because he's he's like that he's like that that world-changing intelligence level
yeah you know what i mean um but there's people also in that group that there are literally more
equipped emotionally stronger tougher and smarter people that work in my warehouse than some of the people
in the group. And I don't mean that as a rip to anybody. I mean that to set an example of this.
If you go out and you do shit, good things happen. If you sit at home, because that's the biggest
thing that these guys are. They're fucking people that execute. They're not asks,
dude,
we have guys in that group that literally are sometimes hard to talk to
because they,
they're not aware.
But what they do is they go out and make calls.
They send emails,
they create shit and they sell it.
And I'm not talking about fucking programs about how they did shit that
nobody,
that they
never did. You know what I mean? It's very cool to see because as smart as some of the guys are
that are successful, some of the guys in there that aren't on that level are more successful
because they're better executors. Dude, one of the wealthiest guy I know, the wealthiest guys I know
or knew was one of the dumbest guys I knew.
Okay.
He's not around anymore,
but dude,
I can remember writing him emails and him writing me back saying,
instead of like our company,
it would be like our company,
a R E like,
and I'm like,
what the fuck?
And this guy's worth $200 million.
Right.
Right.
You know?
And like,
it wasn't that he was smart.
It was that he just did shit.
You know what I mean?
Dude, sometimes that statement,
ignorance is bliss,
is the truth.
Yeah.
Because it lets you get out of your own fucking way
and you just go make calls.
You know what I mean?
Dude, I get it.
And I think,
and I mean,
this is going to be kind of a backhanded compliment to myself,
but I actually think that intelligence can be a liability because you overthink everything.
Dude, look, I'm going to tell you right now, that is your problem.
Yeah.
Your problem is 100% that you just think of every single scenario and then you stall out.
Yep.
And you're getting way better about it.
But the point is, is that that's what most people are like.
Most people think, dude, I'm not smart enough to be in your group
or to join our taste syndicate or the accelerator.
And I'm thinking like, dude, I promise you,
you'll benefit from being there.
Your problem is you're too smart for the fucking group.
You know what I mean?
Because you're overthinking it.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I mean, it's as simple as if you want to benefit from the group,
take the lessons, implement the lessons. Dude, you know what i like too about it man i like how helpful everybody is to each other you know the core values even though
like it's different people different races different genders from all over the world
in that group literally like when you go in that group you see fucking
all different kinds of people every single one of those people wants the other person to succeed
there's there's no threat there's no jealousy there's no i wish uh that guy would fail like
we're talking about the whole topic right and dude out and i'm talking about literally every
single person not one of those people not one piles on other people to hope they lose and dude
i think that says something about how the universe works oh yeah the universe rewards people for
people who have good hearts it truly does it if your intentions pure, you will get far more than what people who are jealous and angry
and mad and bitter and have that scarcity mindset will ever get. And you can argue me all you want,
but that's just my belief. You can't prove me wrong because it's what I believe. You know,
it's like arguing with someone about their God. Like, why would you argue if that's what they believe?
Because they're going to still believe it.
You know what I mean?
But I don't know, man.
I'm having a really, it's a lot better than I thought it was going to be.
That's the truth.
Yeah, for sure.
Anyway.
Well, we've covered some good topics.
And where are we at on time there, Salmon?
51 minutes.
51 minutes.
Shit, dude, I got to work out. All right. I do too. Oh, you do, don't you? I do. Salmon 51 minutes 51 minutes Shit dude
I gotta work out
Alright
I do too
Oh you do don't you
I do
Cause we got a call tonight
We have a call tonight
Okay
So you gonna work out
And then come back
What time is it
It's 4
No I'm actually
Just gonna stay here
Cause I don't have time
Vaughn Swoller
Gonna skip his workout
Well I'm not gonna skip it
I made plans
To possibly do it tomorrow.
I need to get four in.
I need to get four in.
I don't know, man.
You don't realize the real transformation is going to happen in the next three months.
I was going to say, three weeks is pretty aggressive.
Three or four months.
I believe you.
I've seen you going.
Thanks.
I've seen you doing good.
You know what, dude?
I got into it.
You know how you can be doing it, but not doing it? Oh, yeah. That's why most people never going. Thanks. I've seen you eating good. You know what, dude? I got into it. You know how you can be doing it but not doing it?
Oh, yeah.
That's why most people never change.
Yeah.
I really thought in my mind, okay, as long as I'm doing three or four a week, just keep going.
And I think there's some truth to that in the sense of building consistency.
But just in the last week or so, I've been like, man, I've been just showing up.
Dude, it's that 2% extra.
Yeah.
It's that 2% extra effort. I've been just showing up. Dude, it's that 2% extra. Yeah. It's that 2% extra effort.
I've been just showing up and I need to really be present and do it.
You're already doing everything.
Yeah.
You might as well do it.
That's right.
Yeah.
Agreed.
It's that 2% extra, man.
Yep.
Remember that story I told about putting the soap in the bucket?
Soap, yeah.
It's putting the soap in the bucket.
Yeah.
For those of you guys who haven't heard the story before, the story goes like this.
All right, you're going to go out, you're going to wash your car. What do you need?
You need a sponge, you need a bucket, you need water, you need soap. You go out, you put the water in the bucket. You, you stick the soap, the sponge in the bucket, you get the sponge wet,
squirt the car off, wash the car with the sponge. happens it just moves the dirt around it makes the car look like shit but if you would have not forgotten to put that extra two percent effort in
to squirt a fucking quarter cup of or whatever it is soap into the bucket you have a completely
different result and that's why most people don't get results is because that two percent extra
effort man they're skipping out on or forgetting about you know in the gym that's focused that's intensity you know what i mean
that's that's pushing yourself because you can easily go through the motions um and do all
all the required exercise but if you're not doing that extra two percent the results are going to
be minimal that's the that's the truth and if you do the extra 2%, you become part of the 1%.
That's right.
Damn, dude.
Did you just make that up?
I did.
That's a good one.
I like that.
That might be meme-worthy.
Might be, yeah.
Yeah.
All right, dude.
Well, good talk, man.
Yeah.
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