REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Is It Better To Be Famous or Impactful?, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO231

Episode Date: April 19, 2018

There's a question that I think – if you answer it rightly – will get you straight on what you’re doing with your business, your brand….even your whole life. If you answer this question correctly, you’re going to have a sense of strength and purpose that other people dream about. And you’re going to feel good about yourself.  So here’s the question: is it better to be famous or impactful? That's what I talk through on today's episode.  [Visit Andy's website](www.andyfrisella.com)

I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stop until they stack to the moon. Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody going against me got to lose. What is up guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host and I am the motherfucking CEO. Today is Thursday. That means Thursday Thunder. If you're new to the podcast, we do two a week. We do Tuesday, which is like a longer podcast. And then we do a Thursday, which is like karate chop your fucking throat podcast. So it's short. It's going to hit you right in the face or in the throat or in the wiener or somewhere where it's going to fucking hurt a whole lot. And that's we do. All right. Now, what we ask in return is that you have a conversation with a friend about

the podcast. What am I asking for? I'm asking for you. If you get value out of the podcast, if you learn something, if it helped you, if it got you going, I ask that you refer one friend per episode. Okay. I do this for free. I don't ask for money. I don't try to sell you a bunch of shit. I don't even run fucking ads when I could make seven figures a year running ads on this podcast. I don't because I don't want to pollute your fucking time with me with a bunch of bullshit garbage. All right. So all I ask is for you to refer a friend. Now, if you make a post for me, that's great. If you tag somebody in one of my posts, that's great. Tell them why. Tell them what it

means to you. Make sure you tell a story with it or whatever it is, because dude, just tagging somebody in my post really doesn't do a fucking thing. All right. So I'm just asking for a little bit back. That's all. That's my fee. All right. No money. Just a little bit of sweat equity. By the way, this entire movement is based off of that. We've been consistently a top 10 business podcast, consistently a top 50 podcast for three years now. And it's because what we stand for on this podcast is a lot of what's wrong with society. We're trying to correct 20 years of failed cultural strategy, which is this life is fair. Everybody deserves to win. Everybody deserves anything. Everybody's special. Okay. Everybody gets a trophy. That's not fair. All right. Well, guess what? Life isn't fucking Motherfucker and you know what

You're gonna have to fucking realize that first and foremost Before you go out and try to fucking do anything We are about the truth We are not idealist We are realist We are people who believe in the work We are people who believe in producing a result Not talking about producing a result

We are people who believe In being part of the solution, not part of the fucking problem. People who want to be part of the problem can go listen to all the other motherfuckers' podcasts. That's not this. If that's you, turn off your fucking shit right now because this ain't for you, all right?

Now, before I get into what I'm about to get into, I spent the last week in Hollywood. A lot of you guys don't realize that I have an office in Hollywood with my friend, Dan Fleischman. We do a lot of our influencer and athlete content out of that office. I spend about, I don't know, it used to be a week every month in Hollywood, but now it's more like a week out of every six weeks out there. Um, and Hollywood is basically the polar opposite of St. Louis, Missouri. If St. Louis is black, Hollywood is white. Okay. If St. Louis is alpha, Hollywood is the fucking Omega. If St. Louis is the North Pole, Hollywood is the fucking South Pole.

Okay? If St. Louis is fucking fire, Hollywood is fucking water. All right? Think about the two extremes that you could possibly imagine culture-wise. Completely different things. Both cool. I'll enjoy both of them, but they are so fucking different. And one of the major differences between the two cultures

is that St. Louis is a very, very salt of the earth. Uh, work hard, keep your head down. Don't, you don't need recognition. You just show up every day and you do your fucking best. And that's why when you see me wear a South County shirt, that's what that stands for. Okay. South County is the part of St. Louis that I'm from. And probably I would say, in my opinion, now I'm going to have all my other friends all over St. Louis get mad at me about this. The hardest working motherfuckers in St. Louis, South city, probably with them too. But anyway, we are the, these are blue collar folks, man. These are the people I came from. This is where I come from. This is what I'm about. And it's about who I am. And it's about working hard and producing a result. Okay. But in Hollywood, it's, it's a little bit different

in Hollywood. They're more about, you know, recognition and more about being famous and more about being around people who are doing shit. And a lot of those people who want to be around people who are doing shit aren't really doing shit. We were sitting around our podcast because I record some podcasts out there in Hollywood. You guys don't realize that because they sound all the same. But sometimes I record these podcasts in Hollywood. You guys don't realize that because they sound all the same, but sometimes I record these podcasts in Hollywood and Dan and I, Dan Fleischman and I were sitting around and we were talking about like out in Hollywood, you know, not everybody works. Everybody pretends to work.

Everybody has a story about how they work. Everybody has a, has something to like tell you about what they're doing, but not everybody's legitimately doing those things. A lot of those people are just trying to be famous. And it got me thinking about a whole lot regarding our culture. And this is going to be the topic of our episode because it got me to think about a really interesting question. And it's a question that I think that if you answer it truly and rightly and wholly, it'll get you straight on what you're doing with your business, your brand, and really the rest of your fucking life too. If you answer this question correctly, you're going to have a sense of strength and purpose that other people dream about. It's the

kind of strength and purpose other people look at and admire. All right. And it's because you're going to feel good about yourself. So here's the question. Do you want to be famous or do you want your life to leave an impact? Okay. And I want to tell you a story before I get into what I think about this. All right. A lot of you guys know that in, uh, when I was 23 years old, I was stabbed in the face. Um, I was stabbed three times in the face, one time in the back. And, uh, I had 160 stitches in my face. I have permanent nerve damage in my face. Um, and I almost died during the whole ordeal. Well, I'm going to fast forward. If you want to hear the whole story, you go listen to episode one. I tell the exact whole story, but, uh, after that, okay. And you have to, this is, you have to remember I was 23 years old. Um, I was, I'm in the prime of what's supposed to be

like, you know, you're having fun years. And I, I meet this guy and he does something to me and he stabs me in the face and fucks my face up to where like, dude, till this day, you know, if you meet me in person, the scars are very fucking noticeable. Um, and a lot of you will meet me and be like, Oh, I don't notice the scars that much bullshit. I know you fucking do. Okay. I'm used to it. You're not saving my feelings. It is what it is. But afterwards, um, you know, I'm, I go from being this like fun, you know, happy dude, uh, to a guy who's dealing with people all day in business. And those people would always come up to me and they would do one of two things. They would either,

my face was swollen the size of a grapefruit. So, uh, they would do one of two things. They would either look at the floor or they would look you right in the face and go, dude, what the fuck happened to your face? Just like that. I can't tell you how many hundreds of times I heard that. It doesn't matter where you are. People just have no fucking, like, I don't know what manners if you want to say it that way about approaching. They, I can't imagine what some people who have like disfigurements hear from people. It's, but what, what was even worse was people who looked at the fucking floor and wouldn't acknowledge you. That was even worse than that. But anyway,

dude, I heard this for, for like two years, man. And, uh, you know, that doesn't make you feel very good. Uh, I got very depressed. Uh, I went through a very, very difficult time. Um, I withdrew, I was, I was drinking literally every day. I was smoking pot literally every day. Uh, I was dealing with major depression. Um, you know, severe suicidal thoughts to the point where like, it was like a daily struggle for me. And, uh, and I was, um, at the grocery store one day and I was going down an aisle and, uh, I was kind of looking at the ground cause that is, that was kind of where I was. I didn't really look at other people at this point. And I got to the end of the aisle and my cart, uh, like T-boned another cart all right and i looked up and there was this person

standing there who had uh no fucking face all right and when i say no face i mean it was completely burned off there was there was no fucking face there it was like uh two two eye holes and a nose hole and a mouth and and uh and, uh, and it turns out it was a woman, but she was wearing like one of those like Paddington bear bucket hats. And I looked at her and I was kind of like, like, holy shit. And that's what I thought in my head. And she goes, dude, what the fuck happened to your face? And like, dude, I busted up laughing. Cause I like, we both laugh. Like she was laughing too, because I like, we both laughed, like, she was laughing, too, because she knew that what I was going through, and I knew that she had been through it,

and obviously a lot worse than I was, and, you know, we sat there, and we talked, and we had a laugh, and I found out that she had been in a plane, a small airplane accident that killed her whole family, and she was the only survivor, she lost her leg. Her whole body was burned up. And it was honestly one of the most impactful conversations I've had in my entire life because I left that, that store that day, literally my depression, like almost literally cured overnight. I stopped feeling sorry for myself, and I stopped looking at what I had and focusing on how bad it was for me. And dude, it changed my life. And it was a 10, 15-minute conversation. And if you ever hear me speak, I tell this story a lot in person. Um, and I guess like

the main point, you know, I didn't even get her name. And the main point I'm trying to make here is she left a huge, huge impact on my life. And I can honestly say, I can honestly say that if I hadn't had that conversation, I don't think I would be alive. I really don't. I think I would have killed myself. And that's the first time I've ever said that, but I mean it. And, and, you know, here's the thing. And as a result of that conversation, every time you read one of my posts or download this podcast or see something, see me speak or do something, she's leaving an impact on you. Okay. Cause I wouldn't even fucking be here and I don't even know her name and you don't know her name. She's not famous,

but do you think she cares that she's famous? Fuck no, she doesn't care. I think, and I know from having that conversation that she was very satisfied and very comfortable with the person who she is, even though she was badly burned, even though, you know, she had had all these strategies happen to you. I don't think she probably isn't even on social media and she could have zero followers until the day she dies and she won't give a fuck. And the reason she's not going to give a fuck is because she knows that she's lived an impactful life. I got that sense off of her just from talking to her. Like she knew what she was doing. She knew she was

helping me and somehow I don't know, God willing or whatever you want to say or whatever you believe in the universe, God, I don't know. You don't know either, but whatever you believe in, a higher power caused us to meet that day. And she somehow knew where I was. I know she knew where I was at the point of what I was going through. I could just, I can't explain to you how much I know that. And I know that if someone knows that much, that they're comfortable living the life that they're living. And if the only person who knows it are her and God, she's cool with it. Okay. So let me ask you again, do you want to be famous or do you want to be impactful? Because I am so fucking sick of everything in our culture being motivated by recognition. I am so sick of people thinking that their entire

worth as a person is how many followers they have and how many comments they get and how many collabs they do with other people. I'm sick of people feeling great about themselves if they build their following and shitty about themselves if they get unfollowed. It's ridiculous. And I have a feeling that a lot of you are living in that fucking tornado right now. Okay. It's not even a tornado. It's a fucking drain. You know, that little drain at the bottom of the bathtub when you pull the fucking plug out the little whirlpool or whatever the fuck that is. They used to stick GI Joes in. That's what the fuck you're living in with this social media bullshit. Okay. And if that's you, then there's a great chance that your motives as a person are misaligned.

You want to be famous, not impactful. And that means it's ultimately about you and not offering any value to anybody else in the world. And if that's the case, do you ever think you're going to feel satisfied? Do you ever think that you're going to be at peace with yourself? I can tell you for sure the answer is no. Because how can you be at peace with yourself if you're a selfish shitbag that only cares about how other people recognize you?

You can't be. Because here's the reality. If you are impactful, there's a chance you're going to become famous. But in my experience, the truly elite people don't even give a shit about that. The point for them is to be impactful. They don't give a fuck about how many social media followers or how many comments or how they're not posting to get a million fucking views. They're posting to help people or impact people in a certain way.

Don't buy in to the, I want to be the next Kim Kardashian bullshit. Okay. You trying to be her, you trying to be that person. You, it's going to make people keep you down anyway, because they're going to look at you and they're going to say, oh, you just want to be fucking famous. And they're not going to fucking support you. Okay. Just because you have some big titties and a nice ass and this and that, you know what? A million motherfuckers have that shit, not just you. So what makes you different? What's going to get you where you want to go? What matters? I can tell you right now, you people out there chasing this fame, chasing the next

popularity contest, trying to sit at the cool motherfuckers table at lunch when you're 30 years old, you people are doing it fucking wrong. We have an opportunity through social media. We have an opportunity through the network and the fucking technology that we have to make a tremendous impact on people. But only if you put yourself behind that cause, not putting yourself in front of that cause. It's time to get off the hamster wheel. It's time to switch up what your motives are. Fame for the sake of fame. It's bullshit. It's far more satisfying and far more effective to be impactful and to stand for something and to have a message that people respect. And by the way, I'm not shaming on girls with big tits and ass like, dude, fuck, you know, that's, if that's what you got and

that's what you want to show, that's awesome. If it's worse for you, that's awesome. But I know so many people, and for guys it's the same. If you have abs and your physique and that's what it is, but if that's all you got, if that's all you have, and you don't have something that helps educate people or inspire people, impact people, you're going to feel fucking lonely. You're going to feel alone. You're going to feel like your life's not making a difference. And I bet a lot of you listening already feel that way. You're already starting to feel the shallowness. You're already starting to feel the emptiness.

You're already starting to feel the insignificance. And the reason that you feel those things is because you're not putting others before yourself. It's a fucking drain. It's something that's going to suck you down and take you away. Because the truth is, is there's a next big thing. There's a next hot thing. And no matter how smart you think you are, or how well you think you have the game figured out,

nobody stays famous for the sake of being famous. You might have 15 minutes. You might have this. And some people have their 15 fucking minutes and hang on to it for a hundred years. And those are the most miserable fucking people on earth. You have to understand that your life satisfaction, your legacy, what you stand for is going to come from you putting others first. It's going to come from you seeking to be impactful, not seeking to get more likes or more comments. And by the way, this is tactical advice. This isn't just, oh, moral advice, me on my fucking soapbox. Let's say you're the most best looking dude or the best looking woman. We're becoming desensitized to those things as a society because we're shoved in our faces

all the time, all the content of all these beautiful people. So what is separating you? What is the thing that's going to help you grow and help you this? Well, here's the fucking thing, motherfucker. It's doing the right thing. Be the person who stands for something. Be the person with a message besides your looks. Be the person with someone who can impact people and help people and bring people up instead of just saying, hey, look at me. Hey, look at my body. Hey, look at the shit I got. That's how you should be using social. That's how you're going to become successful. And by the way, that's how you're going to become fulfilled, which is more important than anything. Because guys, there is nothing, nothing worse than going your whole life and then being

like, fuck, I did it wrong. Because that's the path some of you guys are on. You're getting caught in the whirlwind. You're getting caught in the drain. And you can feel it. You're already feeling empty. You're already feeling lonely. Yeah, you go to the party. Yeah, you go to the party. Yeah,

you go to this event. Yeah, you do that. But what is it? It's a bunch of motherfuckers just like you trying to be fucking famous. That's not impact. And it's not going to be fame either because you don't have anything unique to offer. Think about how you're going to impact people. Think about what you can offer. You have a story. You have skills. You have values that you can help other people learn or cultivate or use to live a better life. And when you do that, that's when you start to feel fulfilled. That's when you start to feel great about yourself. That's when the emptiness that you feel starts to go away. A lot of people ask me all the time,

Andy, why do you spend so much time on your captions? Why do you spend so much time doing this podcast? You know why? Because it feels fucking good. I'm not making money off of this shit. I do it not because I get likes on my fucking Instagram or not because I get downloads on my podcast. Yeah, that's fucking cool, but that's not why I do it. The reason I do it is because I see people changing. I get emails day

by day by day about people changing their lives, changing their income, changing the way their family works or the way their job worked or the career they're on or the business they're in. I get those testimonials unsolicited every fucking day. And that's why I do this because I know what I'm doing makes a fucking difference. And you know why I am confident and you know why I feel good about myself? It's because I know I'm giving more than I'm fucking taking and I know it. So if you're one of these people who's getting sucked in to society right now, you're developing and attributing your worth to likes and comments and shares. Okay. If you're one of these people who has to go to the next

party or the next thing or the next thing to constantly feel good, wake the fuck up and start realizing that you're, you're not treating the cause you're treating the symptom. And if you want to treat the cause and you want to feel good and you want to live a great life that you're proud of and that you can look back and say, you know what? I did the fucking shit right versus fuck, I did it wrong. You got to start putting other people before you. You've got to start looking to make an impact. You've got to stop chasing fame for the sake of being fucking famous. And by the way, there's nothing wrong with being famous.

You know what? People recognize me all over the place. I'm far from famous, but I get recognized. And you know what? That's cool. I like it. I'm not going to say I don't like it. It's cool, but I don't do it for that. I do it for the guy who writes me an email about, you know, how he was making making $20,000 and couldn't pay his fucking bills. And now he's making a hundred. I do it for the guy who, you know, was about to get divorced and upset with his situation at home, who was able to fix it. And now he's happy. I do it for shit like that. I don't do it because I want people to recognize me. And a lot of you guys say, Oh, Andy, you're so real. You know why I'm fucking real? Because I'm not chasing fucking fame.

And you fucking know it. You want to come across as real? You want to come across as authentic? Then be authentic and be real and put other people before you. And until you do that, you're not going to fucking see what you want to see. You're not going to feel the way you want to feel. You're not going to be fulfilled, and you're going to be empty on the fucking inside for the rest of your life. you