REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Methods of Motivation, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO28

Episode Date: November 17, 2015

You may not travel the world and get paid as a motivational speaker, but every entrepreneur has to learn how to transfer enthusiasm and move people to action. In this episode, Andy Frisella shares his methods for motivation.

Hey guys, this is Vaughn Kohler and you're listening to the MFCEO Project. You may not travel the world and get paid to be a motivational speaker, but every entrepreneur has to be able to transfer enthusiasm and move people to action. With several multi-million dollar companies, a huge social media following, and a top 25 podcast, Andy knows a little bit about inspiration and influence. In this episode, he, along with professional public speaker Ben Newman, shares his methods for motivation. That's today's podcast. Hey guys, what's up?

You're listening to the MFCEO Project I'm Andy and I'm your host And I am the motherfucking CEO I'm here with my co-host Vaughn Kohler DJ God, aka Vaughn the Impaler DJ Vaughn the Impaler DJ Vaughn Diesel DJ God Vaughn Diesel

What is it these days? I told you, I like Von the Impaler the most. Von the Impaler? Yeah. I think it sounds like something from Conan the Barbarian. Yeah, or like a 1970s porno. Or that. I think that's why he likes that.

Yeah, I think so too. I'm also here with my boy, Ben Newman. What's up, man? What's up, Andy? How are you? Doing great, doing great. All right, so question of the day. Vaughn was just telling me before we started about his friend's son got expelled from public school because he dressed up like a ninja. No, no. He along with most nine year old boys, he likes ninjas. Right. You know, like warriors and different things.

So he and he and a bunch of friends formed what they called an assassins club you know just total fun you know it's third grade so they wrote these little ids so they created these little ids that had their name uh their code name and their preferred weapon of choice which i i don't even think it was a gun i think it was like you know uh a throwing star or you know a scimitar or something. Yeah. Right. Stars. So apparently that represents a threat to school. I would have chosen nunchucks. Yeah. Nunchucks. Yeah.

I forgot about nunchucks. Yeah. Yeah. So apparently that's a threat to school security. So he got expelled. Yeah. Uh, okay.

I'm pretty sure they got anybody listening. Do you people not fucking get that? We're our world is being ruined by politically correct nonsense. Okay? Some fucking stupid soccer mom out there decided that, oh, these kids might actually come to school and fucking karate chop my little baby. And now they're out of school.

They kick them out of school. Kids can't even have fucking fun anymore. Right. Dude, what is going on? And I know that... Can I be clear on something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was no action, right?

Nothing happened. No. Other than just... They're pretending to be in a fucking ninja. Right. I mean, I think they were playing karate in the recess and everything, but I mean, big deal. But kids don't play karate, wrestling in recess when you're in third grade. Well, I would even...

Dude, it's even further evidence of how this country is becoming pussified on a daily basis. Every which way possible. You can't even, like, dude, I read something like you can't even play tag anymore because it's like assault. Right. Like, you fucking tag somebody, it's like considered assault. Right. Get the fuck out of here. Or the little boys that kiss the little girls in, you know, kindergarten and then get expelled for sexual harassment.

I wish. I wish. That would have been nice. Dude, but what is it, man? Like, what is the deal, guys? Like, when are we going to quit tolerating? When are we going to quit, like, see, here's the problem, dude.

The fucking people who push this shit into society, they're all vocal and verbal, and the people who actually know better, most of the people listening to this show, probably all the people listening to this show, we don't say anything because we all abide by that rule. Like, don't argue with stupid people

because it's not worth it. But dude, it's starting to like really affect society. Like, we need to stand up as a whole and say, dude, you're fucking out of your mind. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I think the ones that-

Like, I don't argue with these motherfuckers on the internet because I'm like, dude, they will never understand. They're too fucking stupid. Right. And I know that arguing with somebody motherfuckers on the internet because I'm like, dude, they will never understand. They're too fucking stupid. Right. And I know that arguing with somebody who's a moron, all it does is end up frustrating you. You don't change their mind.

Right. And I know that a lot of these administrators are going to say, oh, yeah, well, you'll be the first person to complain when some kid comes in and guns down all the people in the school. And I say, wait a minute. Have some common sense. Nobody's saying you're not mindful of security, but have some common sense and be able to, to recognize a real threat from just boys being boys. It's insane. I mean, honestly, I like, I have a bunch of friends who are, who are very, very dedicated public school teachers. I'm just not totally sure I'm going to send my kids to public school if it

i'm not sure i'm going to have kids to be completely honest i'm not lying yeah like i'm being dead serious dude like we keep putting off year after year after year because like the way that the world is right now i can't fucking stand it yeah like dude i wake up in the morning i click open my fucking internet and i look at it and i'm just like do i really want to bring kids into a world that is run by fucking morons 24 7 that that kids can't even grow up be kids they can't even play fucking ninja warrior or whatever it is yeah i mean dude this is what kids do it is you know what i mean and and like dude we used to do crazy shit like like we had fucking rock fights like we throw rocks at each

other or like bb gun wars and shit like right Dude, if you did that now, you'd be in jail for attempted murder for 21 years. My buddy was telling me that he grew up in Western Kansas, and in their school, you just brought rifles to school. I'm not suggesting we do that, but I'm just saying what was- No, that's country shit. Right. It's country. They brought it, and they- No, Vaughn.

It's country shit. Say it. I'm not going to say it, but the point being is- Just one time, just one time. They knew that they were good people who were not going to shoot people. Dude. I mean, again- Look, man, we have our farm.

It's not uncommon to see kids walking down the street with a rifle like a shoulder. You should turn them in. Exactly, yeah. I'm sure they're getting ready for the fucking apocalypse. That's a great show, by the way. Doomsday Preppers. You ever seen that show? Yeah. You would like that show. exactly yeah i'm sure they're getting ready for the fucking apocalypse you know like dude that's a great show by the way doomsday preppers you ever seen that show yeah yeah you would like that show i know i love it it's awesome well good and when you can you can come over and help can vegetables whenever it's time to can our house because we can our own stuff i like spam spam

spam i'll just eat spam dude i don't know man like here's my my point on this point is like all you guys listening and we have you have thousands and thousands and thousands of listeners. Dude, you guys need to stand the fuck up. When you see this stupidity, stand up and say something. Otherwise, dude, we're all going to end up living in a bubble, and we're going to have all our rights taken away. All of them. And I'm not saying like

dressing up as a ninja is a right but i mean fuck man it's getting ridiculous right common sense and i think everybody's tired of it i think we're all tired of it i mean i am so tired of seeing all this politically correct nonsense on the internet all day long you know what i mean absolutely i'm just over it man yeah the lunatics are running the asylum, as they say. Exactly. What are we talking about today? You know what? Today, we're going to talk about enthusiasm.

All right? I get asked all the time through email and person, what's the key? What's the key? What's the key? What's the key? What's the key? Well, the key for me, and I think any effective leader is in their ability to inspire, motivate, which ultimately comes down to, I think the transfer of enthusiasm to your team, to your, to your customers. Okay. To everybody around you. We all know these successful people. We know people who are successful. They've built

a great business or they've created a great culture somewhere. Sometimes maybe they're CEOs, maybe they're pastors of a church. Maybe they are politicians. But the reason that people are attracted to these people in groups is because they're able to transfer enthusiasm effectively, consistently. All right. You know, the whole reason why this podcast people listen to it is because I get on here and yell like a motherfucking animal. You know what I mean? Right. But the thing is, is that if you're going to be effective and it's not all about getting wild and crazy either, you know, that's just my style. You don't have to have that style to get somebody excited or motivated or moving. And as many questions as I get about leadership and how to lead and how to get your team to move and how to get them to be productive, you know, I thought this would be a good thing to cover.

Yeah. So basically this is you sharing your tips on how to motivate people. Yeah, pretty much. You know, get them excited, get them moving, and get them to be effective yeah you know yeah sounds good well actually i i knew that which is not going to be a surprise to anybody listening actually andy asked me to spend some time so here's how vaughn works vaughn makes the fucking the agenda so he knows what the fuck we're talking about and then he asked me like what we're talking about so I start going into the role of like, yeah, man, you know, today we're going to talk about this. And then Vaughn tells on me for lying.

So, like, dude, what is it? Or do you know or do I know? Well, what I was going to say is that, you know, you asked me to look at your game film, you know, to break it down, to see how you motivated people and to read your stuff. Don't ask questions you don't know the answer to. I know. I know. But no, what I was going to say is I actually, I put together some observations about how you motivate people. Okay.

So I was just going to go through those and you talk about them. All right. So here's observation number one. So what you're saying is you're going to probe me. That's a really, really unpleasant thought. Vanya Paylor is going to probe me. Do I get to chime in on the observations and say? Oh, absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I agree or disagree, if you're out of line, Vaughn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just let Vaughn get to his probe. So, yes. He's waiting all day for this. Without any further ado, this is my take on how Andy motivates people. And then, you know, the lessons that you can learn.

And then, Andy, you can tell me whether you. you can learn and then andy you can tell me whether you well yeah as soon as you get on a roll vaughn he'll interrupt you yeah oh that's awesome oh is that an inside joke that i know that was that was him making fun of you oh oh yes okay observation number one unlike other motivational speakers it's not all positive reinforcement with Andy. As I like to say, you you care enough to kick people in the ass. True or false? I mean, I think that's apparently true. You know, there's so much there's value in the truth. Right. And sometimes people need to hear the truth and the reality of success or motivation or getting someone excited is not painting a beautiful picture for them. They need to know exactly where they are. And if they're not self-aware, you need to help them become

self-aware. If they're doing a good job, you can tell them, Hey, you're doing a good job, but you could still improve here, here and here. You know, if they're doing a bad job, you say, dude, you are doing a terrible fucking job. You're better better than that why do you think that that has resonated with people well i mean because i the people people obviously point that out about you that you do just you say the hard things that people need to say but a lot of people don't so i i don't know man because i don't know why you know that's how i was always brought up you know what i mean like i was brought up in a household where if you did good you did good if you did bad you did bad if you won you won if you lost you lost it's fucking black and white you know what i mean so i don't know why people are afraid to say that i've noticed i if you want my honest opinion why

most people are afraid to say that i think that people who are in a position as i am where they're in a quote-unquote motivational fucking guru or whatever the fuck you want to call where they're in a quote unquote motivational fucking guru or whatever the fuck you want to call it they're in that situation they want to appeal the most amount of people as possible and most of these people that that that are going to buy your shit like buy my motivational program or buy my book or buy this which most of these dudes sell you know they're trying to capture people who who as many people as possible to make as much money as possible so they try to say things that to get them you know involved I don't don't know. I mean, I don't know. I don't know why people don't say the truth. It's the easiest thing to do.

I think back to just basic coaching, right? You know, anybody who's listening that's played sports, right? Think back to the time when a coach challenged you. That's when you really have the opportunity to grow. That's one of the things that I think that people are attracted to Andy's style is that it's actually, you're challenging somebody to be their best. Right. You can go in and you can. If I go give a talk, I want to know the negative feedback. I want to know the people in the audience that say, hey, you know what? You said this or the messaging went this way. I don't want everybody to just come and. Yeah, but you asked me how great I am.

Different fucking generation, man. You and I grew up. We're the same age age you and i grew up in a generation where you know we understand what it means to lose like dude if we lose i'm not going to cry and i'm automatically thinking all right i lost now how do i not fucking lose again you know what i mean and most of these people out there these days are not thinking that they're thinking like oh where can i go to get told how wonderful and fucking you know unicorns and rainbows life is right oh bro life is so such a beautiful thing and it's so oh chill bro and all you gotta do is fucking you know think it and you'll achieve it and believe in yourself and blah blah well there's more fucking to it than that right you know right but i mean in all fairness you've got it you've got a very large segment of your of the people who follow you, who are really big on you, who are young people.

Yeah, dude, because they get it. Everybody knows when they're being bullshitted. You know what I'm saying? The young people who are 17, 16, 17, 18, 19 that, you know, it's very apparent when you have somebody teach you some some stuff that's not true. And they're talking to you about how to be successful, and they're driving away in a fucking piece of shit. They get it. I've done this shit. So you're growing. Hold on real quick.

For some of these young people, maybe it's the first time, to your point. They've never heard it. They've never heard it. Right. So now it's like it's refreshing. It's like, okay, everybody keeps telling me I'm. I knew that was the truth. Yeah.

They know. So now it's like, okay refreshing. It's like, okay, everybody keeps telling me I'm – I knew that was the truth. Yeah. They know. Right. So now it's like, okay, I keep getting all these results, but I don't feel like I'm moving anywhere. And finally somebody wakes me up to the fact that I can improve. I can change. There's things I can do differently. And I actually have to work for success. It's what people actually want.

Dude, it makes sense. People want to be challenged to get better. Dude, it makes sense everybody even kids who have no life experience in the real world know that that the stuff they're told is is nonsense they know it you know and then when they hear it you know like in business for me man you know nothing drives me more crazy than when i have a problem i don't know the answer okay like it's very it just feels wrong as soon as i know the answer whether the. Like it's very, it just feels wrong. Soon as I know the answer, whether the problem is huge and it's going to take me six months or a year to fix or

two years to fix, I'm a hundred percent better than I was a minute ago because I know what I need to do. Okay. So you have these kids who are, you know, they're getting taught, oh, we don't keep score. Oh, everybody wins. Oh, you're special. Oh, you don't just believe in yourself. Oh, you don't have to work that hard. Oh, you know, and all these different fucking lessons that they're taught nowadays. I mean, we could go on and on for two hours about this stuff. But the minute you tell them, like, hey, no, this isn't the way it is,

and you've got to go out and fucking do this, this, and this, they're like, I knew that was the like, I knew that was the right answer. I knew that was the right thing. You know what I mean? They fucking know. So the asterisk hole is going to show up and say, oh, wait a minute, Andy. Fuck that guy. I know.

He's always coming back. He's persistent. But he says, wait a minute, Andy. You're the same guy who says when you talk to customers, don't tell them they're wrong. What do you say to them? I would say there's circumstances in every situation. If you you're in business your job is to solve a problem if a customer fucking is wrong and you know they're wrong there's ways to tell them they're wrong without telling them they're wrong amen you know what i mean yeah and and and if you're a coach your job

is to get your guys to believe that they can win because if they believe they can win guess what they do they fucking win right all right so coaching is a situation when guys are winning and they're doing good that's when you're hard on them when guys are losing and they're fucking doing bad that's when you come in you say guys ain't no big deal come on let's go have a fucking beer you know what i mean and you fucking let them you pick them up you know it's not celebrate like the coach is almost the opposite of the result you know you've got to be you know hard when the guys are winning so they don't get the big heads and you've got to be softer when they're losing so you can pull them back to fucking where they need to be right

you know what i mean so there's situational leadership to any situation and anybody who says oh fucking anybody who goes and tells a customer they're fucking wrong you're not gonna be in business very long you're a fucking idiot right you know and customers are wrong so you got to learn how to how to show people that the information that they've led to believe is the truth is not the actual truth without telling them that it isn't the actual truth aka calling them stupid but there is something really refreshing about the truth and i think you're right i think the young young people this is my outlet man I can sit here and say whatever the fuck I want to say because I'm not selling anything on the show

right you know what I mean you know if you don't want to listen to it don't fucking listen to it if it hurts your feelings I feel sorry for you you're a pussy okay but here's the reality you know the guy you can't take every single word I say as a literal, you know, thing. Applying in every situation. Dude, yes. If you're that kind of person who, which, by the way, I hate those people. Who doesn't hate that guy? You write, like, this awesome status on Facebook, and then this dude, like, finds the two inches that there's, like, gray area and points it out and says, you're wrong because, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, dude, fuck you, man. But it's that guy and it's the people who are trying to get the kid expelled,

you know, with the ninja status. That's the problem with society. That is the problem. That's the problem right there. And you look at what those people are accomplishing. So then when they go to their homes, they're complaining that they can't get ahead in life because you're wasting your time on a bunch of trivial nonsense

rather than focusing on things that will actually get you ahead. Dude, people get mad at me, man, because I block and ban people like fucking instantly. You know what I mean? But here's the deal. I'm starting to get a following now to where some people, their fucking highlight of the day is to get me to comment back to them. You know what I mean?

And I'm talking in a negative way. I love my supporters. I try to do everything I can to communicate with them and talk with you guys You guys listening right now You know You guys know I engage with people

But then you got that one guy You know what I'm saying And the one guy Who says ignorant shit Like dude He wants you to reply The best thing you can do Is just fucking block him

And delete him And then they're like fuck And they go find somebody else To troll Right You know what I'm saying Like dude I don't know I think I don't know For me it comes down to this Simple and then they're like, fuck. And they go find somebody else to troll. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, dude, I don't know.

I think, I don't know. For me, it comes down to this. Simple, simple answer is that people are tired of being lied to and the way to really motivate people is to tell them the truth. Because telling them the truth. Dude, people are fucking smart. Yeah. Okay. They're not stupid.

Like, I always say, I have a lot of people in business. I hear them, you know, dude do the general public's not that smart. No motherfucker. They're smarter than they've ever been. They have access to Google. They have access to information. It doesn't matter what their parents taught him anymore. I was thinking about this on the right here.

You know, I was on Periscope on the right here talking about this actual subject in a different way. And, you know, when I was growing up, dude, I didn't have the technology. And you didn't. And you didn't. And you didn't, Tyler. And we didn't have access to jump on the internet and see fucking Tony Robbins' life or see Tony Robbins' talk on Periscope or these other successful people that we would look up to and try to learn from. We couldn't watch them on the internet or watch them on Instagram or see what their lives were really like we had to go buy their product and then we listened to it 70 times you know what i mean and that was how we you know how else are you going to get to know that person you know what i mean right dude today you guys people take for granted like how much success they can be surrounded by if they want to be you know back

up until the last 10 years if you wanted to be surrounded by if they want to be you know back up until the last 10 years if you wanted to be surrounded by success man you had to actually like go out in the real world and try to like like dude the office dude or the business owners walking out of his business and you had to like run up to him and be like hey mr jones you know i i admire you i want to learn from you and the guy's probably like hey get the fuck out of here kid i got i gotta go shoot you know pool with my buddies or whatever they do you know and like you the opportunities to learn now are just immense you know it's a million fold what it used to be and and people don't realize that yeah you know i didn't have that growing up i was fortunate enough to grow up in a business owner's household to where I could be around things.

But, I mean, I wasn't, like, surrounded by massive success. You know, I mean, the opportunities to learn nowadays are just unprecedented. Yeah. You know what I mean? Absolutely. You got, like, every book on the planet in your iPhone. Dude. I mean, it's crazy.

Dude. It's really crazy. Think about it, man. Think about this. When you used to, like, want to read a book, how did you fucking choose your book? You went to the bookstore. You walked through the bookstore, and you're like, oh, you grazed through. You're like, oh, this looks good.

And it was like total lottery. Right. You know, even finding the successful material was impossible. Yeah, because the card catalog system was impossible. The regular bookstores can't even stay in business anymore now. It's completely changed. Dude, people don't realize how much is at their disposal, man. They forget what it used to be like.

I don't know, man. People are smarter than ever. And if you think that you're going to come in and, like, you know, fairy dust people to death with your fucking motivational nonsense, I don't think you're going to be very successful from here on out. I think people know it's bullshit. I think you're absolutely right. And you're speaking to a change in culture.

And this next point has, has to do with another massive change in culture. And that is, uh, when you speak, Andy, my, what I've, one, one of the things that I've noticed is that you're prepared, you're, you're passionate, but you're not overly polished. As a result, you're not pretentious. And I think people find that refreshingly real. And what I mean by that is that people are tired of teleprompters. They're tired of the flowery, ornate language. The way that I've noticed you communicate, I mean, we even do it on our podcast.

We don't cut out all the ums and the ahs and the clearing of the throats. It's just raw, uncut, unedited. I try to do it the our podcast. We don't cut out all the ums and the ahs and the clearing of the throats. It's just raw, uncut, unedited. I try to do it the other way. Yeah. I fucking tried. I went to public speaking classes. I went to school. You know, I fucking put on a suit and tie and try to stand up there and like give this

polished. Dude, it's terrible. You know, it's fucking terrible. It doesn't work for me, man. And like, you know what? Even on my best times when I spoke like that, the impact wasn't there. You know what I mean? You know, you know, the impacts there is when I roll up in fucking a T-shirt and shorts and just go to work, you know, and I might miss some points or I might skim some things or I might add some extra shit in.

But I feel like people can relate to that. It's real shit. There's a hidden message here because obviously, you know, I speak. I help work with speakers. There's a great hidden message. And what makes Andy such a great communicator and a great speaker, when he gets on stage, he's himself. And if you want to start speaking more, you want to grow that type of a business, or you're going to be leading an organization or whatever it might be,

when you step on that stage, just be you. Don't try to be somebody else. If you're not a polished speaker, don't try to be a polished speaker. You need to be who you are. Know your content. Know what you're trying to get across. That's what's going to show true passion. Right.

If you're being your true self, people are going to feel it. They're going to feel the emotion. They're going to feel the passion. And that's if you're being your true self people are going to feel it they're going to feel the emotion they're going to feel the passion and that's what they're going to be attracted to the guy who stands up there and tries to oh you know good afternoon folks and i'm here to talk to you and it's not even you who wants to even listen to that dude i've been i've been listening to like some of the ted talks lately and like ted used to be really cool like back when like tim ferris was on it like back like in like back years ago ted talks were cool they're fucking so terrible right now and i'm sorry dude if you work for ted and you're letting these people do ted talks you need to start evaluating who the fuck you let speak but do you know what's happening with ted

what's happening i already know like i i don't even know but i know here let me guess they're becoming run by an organization and and they're getting big, and everybody's having an opinion. And they're like, oh, we don't want somebody who's too wild, and we don't want somebody who's too this. So they pick the boring motherfucker to go up there because it won't offend anybody. I'm sure that's what it is. No, what you said was it's become an organization. So if you look, if you want the real talks, you go and you Google Ted Talks, you get the best stuff. Most of what's happening is it's TEDx Talks, which they go in.

It's a franchise. They're going into cities and saying, okay, we can make money off of people because the Ted name is so big. So now we'll make it TEDx and we'll market it and we'll do that. A TEDx Talk is not even a TED Talk. Like I've had TEDx companies reach out to me. It's like, no, when Ted calls me and they want me to do a talk, I'll do it. But a TEDxTalk that's run by a franchise that's not even the real product with the real motivation to deliver the real goods of TED, it's not a TED talk. Dude, it's a fucking joke.

So what's interesting, because I know you're a huge proponent of Periscope, is that if you look at these top Periscope accounts, I mean, you guys are all, I mean, you're one of them, Andy. I mean, you're all good communicators, but what's really amazing to me is that if you log in and you listen to their broadcasts, it's not like they're Abraham Lincoln or Winston Churchill. I mean, I'm thinking of a guy named Alex Pettit. And his content is solid,

but he's just really, really laid back, simple, conversational. Think about what we watched growing up. What did we watch on TV? We watched pre-programmed scripted shows. The A-Team. Simon and Simon. Fucking awesome show.

Yeah, those were awesome. Like the best part is in the intro when he drives like, drives the forklift through the door. Remember that part? Yeah. Dude, the fall guy. The Golden Girls. The Golden Girls. That was a good one.

The fall guy. Blanche was such a hoe. But I'm just saying, like, dude. Dude, she was. She was the hoes. She was. She was. Yeah.

You know? I heard Vaughn would have gotten along fantastic. Yeah. I'm sure. Vaughn would be gotten along fantastic. Yeah. I'm sure. Vaughn would be having drinks with her in the lobby of the Ritz. Dude, I'm going to tell you right now, dude. Fucking, you know, we watched that shit growing up, right? Think about what the younger people have watched for the last 15 years.

They've watched Survivor. They've watched the real world. They've watched fucking, I mean mean what are these shows out right now I don't even know Keeping up with the Kardashians Yeah dude it's all real Life shit so like what are people Become accustomed to watching now they're

Watching unscripted real Jersey Shore okay All this shit that's what they Want to watch you know they don't want to see Some dude up there in a fucking suit clicking the clicker with the slides, man. It's just not what people are into anymore. And if you're going to become an effective speaker slash leader,

you've got to become comfortable being authentic. And that's going to be whether you're fiery and crazy and strong or whether you curse or don't curse or whether you, you know, you're going to have to effectively communicate authentically or it's not going to work. You know what I mean? Your people are going to leave uninspired. They're going to leave unengaged. They're going to leave disenfranchised. And they're not going to have good things to say about you.

I'm curious what you think about this, though. Do you think that that means that all public speaking in our culture is going to be that laid back? Because I'm trying to imagine like, you know, another president rolls in and we're waiting for the State of the Union address. And he comes out there and he's just like, hey, guys, what's up? So we're going to talk today. I mean, you think it's going to be like that? No. All right.

I hope not, because I hate that. I don't know. I mean, I think it's going to be. I think it's situational. Yeah. You know. But to your point, we are in a culture that really, really values conversation. You don't have to be unprofessional to be authentic.

You know what I mean? That's a great point. Yeah. Like, you know, you don't have to like get up there and be like, hey, motherfuckers, what's going on? Like, you don't have to do that to be, you know, authentic. But I'm guessing you would love to hear Trump say that. Not Trent.

Trump say that. No, man, you know, I speak the way I speak because that's how I speak. Right. You know, when I'm speaking with my friends or you guys, I speak the same way. You know, I catch a lot of flack for it on the internet. Oh, dude, why do you curse so much? Because I curse so much. Because it's who you are.

Yeah. Yeah, right. And if I, I mean, I guess I could try to curse less, you know, but I don't know. I kind of like it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so those entrepreneurs and those leaders who will inspire and influence and motivate the current and future generations in your mind, you know, you gotta be down to earth you got to be authentic and in the way that you communicate nothing pretentious nothing teleprompter-esque dude i think people have a misconception of like how to speak to their team i think they they i think they're molded by this politically correct nonsense stuff that we see all day all night on the internet i think

they're afraid to say anything of value because they're afraid they're going to offend anybody. Um, I think they're afraid to get to the point cause you know, like dude, you got to remember how most companies are now. They're not small businesses. They're, they're like,

they're like these, like every company now has HR and like HR is like, Oh, well you can't say that because someone's so sensitive about that. Like, like it's just, dude, you can't even

run your own fucking business anymore. Right. You know? Right. So I, you know, my personal take is, is like, you're going to get a lot further and a lot more production by being real with your people than you are by like listening, what HR says you can and can't say, you know what I mean? But most people are too terrified to like do that ever. They just won't do it. All right. Number three. And I, this is one that I think you're particularly good at. You recognize that people add value to you and you thank them for it. I think gratitude is a huge motivation. There's no question.

I mean, gratitude for most employee people, non-CEOs, non-business owners, the most valuable thing that you give them. More valuable than currency. You know, people don't realize that. They don't think of it like that. I think of gratitude as a currency, you know, as something that I can pay my employees, you know. And it's genuine. You know, the reality is, is we couldn't do the things that we do without the work of all these people together. So, I mean, what do you not have of all these people together so i mean what do you not have to be gratuitous about you know what i mean it's it's it's uh it's important and people appreciate it and i think the more that you thank your employees and i'm not talking about you know disingenuous like thanking you know like over the top like thanking them for like

shit that they didn't deserve to be thanked for but given a good heartfelt thank you when it's due is important and i think that helps with your authenticity i think it helps motivation i think it helps with production i mean i know it does yeah yeah um i think that's a way of expressing humility in sort of a roundabout way because when you thank people you're essentially saying I know I can't do this alone. Yeah. No question. And you can't.

Yeah. I've heard people say this recently. Like certain business owners, they let their egos get fucking run wild. I mean, I've just heard a lot of it lately. It's just, you know, I could do this without you. And if you don't want to do it, I'll get, you know, so-and-so to do it. And you're lucky to be here. And, you know, I'm so great at what I do that people are lucky to be around me.

You know, like I've heard that. I've heard people fucking say that. That's really positive communication. Dude, I've heard people say that in their fucking on the Internet recently. And I'm sitting here with my mouth open like, dude, you are way, way gone out of reality. You're like in fucking outer space. I'd tell you to fuck off. That's what I'm saying.

Like, you're lucky. You're lucky to be working with me. Like, dude, that's just I've heard it, man. I've heard it from people that other people look up to. And I'm just like, what the fuck are you talking about? You know what I mean? Dude, it's not about that. Nobody's that great's that great so yeah it's a huge thing about humility so what are some other ways of of uh of showing gratitude without actually just saying thank you i like to walk

into the warehouse and and find you know the dude who's doing the best job and pat him right on the ass like yeah you know yeah and get a big old handful of that yeah yeah yeah that's what I like probably works pretty well yeah one one thousand though yeah if you do one one thousand or less it doesn't count but if it's over one one thousand it's weird so like that's one way you could do you can grab somebody's booty at work you know no man I mean like look people know if you appreciate them or not. You know what I mean? It's not always thank you. It's like sometimes it's like, hey, thank you for doing such a good job.

Sometimes it's just like, hey, dude, I like the way you did that. I like the way you're doing that. That's good. It's just simple shit. You know what I mean? Sometimes it's not getting yelled at. Yeah. For those of you that are a small company, one of the things that I did with our team is I started using our as opposed to my, you know, my team or my assistant or my this or my that.

And I feel like for us when we're dealing with, you know, I've got a couple of full time employees when they see in an email, hey, a member of our team is going to be reaching out rather than my assistant. You know, it's just an empowering thing that it's constantly hearing teamwork, teamwork, teamwork. And it's a nice way to not be. Plus, you don't sound like a douchebag right and you're not overly like you know thank you so much for every little thing that you're doing it's like hey it's this constant recognition that you know like we're a team i can't do this by myself there's no possible way i could speak 80 to 90 times a year do all the things that i have to do there's no way every detail would be done by myself it takes a team so i think to have that I have to do. There's no way every detail would be done by myself. It takes a team. So I think to have that constant recognition to speak in terms of our, instead of my,

my, my, my, my, that goes a long way to just for your, your teammates to hear that. Yeah. Just for them to hear it.

Agree. And that's a dude. I, I find that I find business owners that use my, my business and my, this, my, that. So like, dude dude it's like one of the

most common things i see people do and it makes me cringe you know what i mean i get it that you started the business but but look you know there's nothing wrong with letting people know you're not doing it by yourself yeah exactly right and so many people are against that do you ever notice that like dude you deal with a lot of business owners, man. Like I deal with a lot of them, too. And like some guys just will not let that go. Like they are like, dude, I did this. I did this. I did this. I'm like, bro, you are like you're going to be limited because of your ability to get people involved. So you talk about I've had that conversation in multiple occasions where I'm actually doing coaching work with a business owner and I hear them doing that and I have to have the real conversation like bro just because they make millions of dollars and you're paying me a fee like you need to hear what you're saying and

that's not empowering to your people and then imagine if you do the transition of language and then their people respond to it and then you can start to admit it drives me nuts when you and nobody's listening to that person going oh yeah you did it all by it all by yourself. I mean, it doesn't even sound right. Right. Right. So do you guys think notwithstanding the differences in people's personality that you would go so far as to say that showing gratitude is the most effective way of motivating people? I think it is. I think it is.

I think people want to work for people that know that appreciate them. I mean, dude, ultimately. Hey, look, I just hit a periscope on the way here. And what did I talk about? I talked about, I got on there for six minutes. I said, look, if you're not fucking motivated on your own, you don't get it. Okay. The fact that I'm not where I'm at, where I would be when I wake up in the morning is enough for me to get out of bed with a fucking bundle of fury and go kill shit every day.

Okay. That's enough for me. And it should be enough for anybody to get out of bed with a fucking bundle of fury and go kill shit every day okay that's enough for me and it should be enough for anybody listening to this podcast but the fact of the matter is that it's not okay and the reality of the situation is is that your goal as a manager or a ceo or a leader of a company should be to trip to trip the internal intrinsic motivation of that person your job is to fucking be a ninja it's to climb inside that person's brain figure out what makes them get up and say i'm gonna kill shit every day okay and and trip that switch over so that they go do that on their own and then they you don't have to come and yell at them every day or coach them every day they're just fired up and and most people won't put the time you to do that you have to you have to get

to know somebody and most people won't put the time into getting to know people much less show them that they're appreciated because the reality is is if you don't have that gratitude as a base layer of respect with that person you're gonna have a hard time getting in there and figuring out what makes them tick and flipping that switch for that person. You know what I mean? You can only go in and talk to your people so many times before they're like, yeah, Andy, I fucking heard this, dude. You know what I mean?

You've got to figure out how to get them to think about it on their own and click over from external motivation to internal motivation or inspiration and get them moving, you know, and most CEOs and managers of business, they discount this aspect of leadership and they say, well, I'm not that fiery type of leader like you are. You know, I've just let my people do what they do. Well, you know what, if that's the case, you're going gonna be very limited on where you go you know you're limiting yourself you your job is to coach you know it's not chief executive officer it's it's it's coach executive officer you know what i'm saying you're the motherfucking coach right get these people to go out and perform at their highest level without you know having to kick them in the ass every day

i want to capture something that that andy's really nailing right now which is he's in that communication he's referring to motivating the individual. And I think there's too many leaders who go in and they say, I'm going to say one thing and it's just going to spread and it's this cookie cutter approach. No, it's Andy saying you have to connect with each individual. The best leaders I've had, whether it be a coach in a team or a guy named John Qualley, who the our managing partner when I was in the financial services industry he knew how everybody was wired it was crazy he'd leave me a voicemail and I'd be like dude do you have cameras in my bedroom I mean it's like he knew exactly what was going on in my life and what I was thinking about because he cared that much dude people are only motivated by very there's only a couple things that motivate

people I mean it's one in, a lot of it is money. Okay. The other thing is making a difference or mattering. All right. And those are two biggies. Like, dude, most people are, most people are, you know, tripped under one of those two causes. You know what I mean? So with the people who are motivated for money, you've got to get them to understand the better job they do uh the more effective they solve the problems the more they

care about people the more money they make okay for the people who um want to make a difference those people are actually easier to coach in my opinion because they want to do the job from a place of like i really want to help people and then they get paid there end up being your best employees because not because they're chasing the money, but because they're so passionate about the job they do, they end up being very effective at it. And then they earn the money. You know what I mean? So I found, in my experience, it's one of those two things. And if you're a manager, let's say you're a manager of three or four or ten dudes,

you can afford to learn every single personality. And you can know exactly what motivates these people and you need to speak to them in terms of those situations. If you go ask somebody who is motivated to make a difference and to solve problems and to help people and you start talking about money, that's going to like conflict with their internal beliefs and they're not going to respond well to that. You know what I mean?

But if you keep coaching them on making a difference and then the money comes, they're happy. They're like, Oh man, I'm doing good. I'm making to that. You know what I mean? But if you keep coaching them on making a difference and then the money comes, they're happy. They're like, oh, man, I'm doing good. I'm making extra money. You know what I mean? And vice versa, too. But let's say you run an organization where you have 100 people. All right? You can't afford it.

Like, I can't. There's no way I could possibly know every single person in my company's motivation. So what I have to do is I have to get up and I have to speak in terms of both. Okay, I have to find all the reasons why people were motivated. I have to talk a little bit about each one. And then it's my manager's job who run each group of six to 10 people

to find out individually what these people are motivated with and fucking pour gas on that fire. And I'm assuming you're modeling what you want in your relationship with your management team in the hopes that then it will be replicated down through the levels yeah i mean mo yes okay that's short answer yes otherwise we're getting on a whole different plane sounds good i mean the end of the story is is like i'm not letting somebody lead my

people unless they're very similar to the way I would lead them. Right. You know what I mean? Right. Right. So that makes sense. Makes sense. All right.

Next point, which is, uh, you're good at telling stories. You're good at, uh, sharing anecdotes and, uh, little word pictures. And so I've got two followup questions for you on that one. Number one, is that just your natural gift? And number two, if it's not a leader's natural gift and he or she wants to motivate people, how would you, how would you coach somebody? And Ben, obviously I want to hear what you have to say about how would you coach people to look for ways or look for stories, look for anecdotes that were going to help you take concepts and make them

simple and easy to understand. When you're in charge of people and your job is to motivate them, okay, let's say in a business environment, all right, I'm not talking about speaking environment. I'm talking about you run a business, okay, and you've got, let's say, 15 people. And it's the same thing as like, you got to think of it as like your kids, all right? And you're trying to tell your kids, you got 15 kids, let's pretend.

You're trying to tell your kids all this shit and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is how the way it is. And they're like to tell your kids. You got 15 kids. Let's pretend you're trying to tell your kids all this shit. And you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is how the way it is. And they're like, dude, fuck you, dad. You know what the fuck you're talking about? Right. This is where stories come into play. Right.

If you could find stories that represent the point you're trying to make to your own kids, a.k.a. employees, and say, look, ABC, and tell those stories. And now all of a sudden it's not, fuck you, Dad. It's like, hey, Dad knows what the fuck he's talking about. And that was a funny story. Right, exactly. So they're used to reinforce the belief because just like with your own kids, a lot of you guys have kids, you know, they listen to Uncle Bob more than they listen to you.

You know, hey, you call your brother up and you're like, hey, bro, I need you to come talk to Johnny about fucking this because he ain't didn't listen to me you know give him the big brother talk the big uncle talk you see what i'm saying yeah absolutely like that's how i like to think of it you know i i know you know i i feel like that's been effective for me um at just helping bring credibility to the points i'm trying to make. Being good at storytelling. Where do you find them? Do you jot them down? That's what I was getting ready to say. Being good and finding the stories

is just a matter of reading. You know I'm an avid reader, and I think I found, I mean Google's an awesome resource for that. You type in the theme of what you're trying to figure out, and you'll find a story about it. It's not like I've been doing this for a week you know so I've collected a lot you know I think the more you do it the better you get the more you remember and the more exposure you have but you're not just going to get that shit by sitting on the couch

you know and watching you know whatever the fuck these people are watching yeah you know Ben do you use stories as much in your one-on-one coaching as you do in your public speaking? All the time. Do you? Every time. I mean, dude, and you're awesome at telling them. I mean, for me, American Funds did research.

They spent hundreds of millions of dollars, and they were researching sales, what makes the sales process effective. And they found after all the money that they spent using stories to sell was the most important part of the process and before i read that research i had put together seven psychological sales triggers through what andy's talking about let me stop you said using stories to sell in this context guys you have to remember you are selling thank you yeah when you're talking to your team we're

not talking about he's not talking about selling a product you're selling a fucking idea influence of sales that's right you're selling a vision you're selling a reason for them to get up and go out and do a great job okay i just want to point out no you people are here selling and they're like we're not talking about selling you always talk about selling andy just nailed it everybody is a salesperson that's why even if i'm coaching, I have to sell that person on a belief because look, I've seen somebody else that does what they do become very effective with a strategy I'm getting ready to teach you. Well, if I don't share a story and paint a picture of how this is going to influence you, it's hard for me to capture your attention. If Andy shares a

very powerful story and then he takes the point that was made in that story that influenced somebody people are more likely to listen and to take action because they know that it works as opposed to just going in and saying i'm going to teach you something go do this and that's why stories are effective people like listening to a story exactly what it is credibility your point absolutely yeah tell a story make a point tell a story make a point at the end of the day i'm a storyteller that's what i love about to be i don't need slides you know in order to make a presentation i tell stories and i make a point so is there is there a go-to story for you i've got story for everything you know i've got stories we could talk about sales actually selling a product i've got stories about personal growth i got stories i could tell

you before you go to bed what kind of story you want to hear about eating chinese food let me let me let me capture something again first off you see how natural like this is like that's andy being andy that's why it's not one story you say what's i'm so glad you asked that question what's the go-to there is no go-to story andy knows when i walk into that warehouse based upon something i've experienced if i need to prove a point there's a story I'm going to share that's going to teach a principle so that we can be more effective. If I walk onto a stage somewhere around the world, I'm going to understand the audience that I'm in front of. I'm going to tell stories and make points. It's not the same cookie cutter story every single time.

Right. I mean, and that just comes from doing it right. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, a lot just comes from doing it right. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, a lot of the young guys listening right now are like, fuck, I don't have any stories. Dude, the best way you could start to build your story base is by, okay, paying attention to other people because the story doesn't have to be, there's no like book out there

that says fable or fucking what are they? Success fables or parables or whatever. What do you want to call them? There's no fucking book of stories. All right. God dang, man. Well, there probably is. Whatever.

Yeah. Well, if there is, I don't know it. Okay. But what I like to do is I just pay attention. You know, I watch people's stories and like I'm intrigued by people's stories. You know, I listen to other entrepreneurs stories and then I tell people the story and I say this is, you know, like just like we had Jillian on last week and she's telling her story. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait. And I stop her and I say, now that's what this means.

And I'll put the point in, you know, and then she'll speak for another 10 minutes. I'll say, now you guys listening, that's what this means. Look what she did. You see what I mean? Absolutely. So you could, there's no set story list that you should go off of. It's just paying attention, putting good shit into your brain, you know, read. You'll learn a lot about reading about other successful people. And you could tell those stories.

You know, it just takes time. Another thing, I have to share this. You have to tell those stories you know it just takes time another thing i i have to share this you have to tell true stories nothing drives me more crazy than the guy i was literally at a conference one time it was a top producers conference for northwestern mutual we're down in phoenix and they bring in this speaker and the speaker starts telling this story he's trying to get emotional and he's getting into it and he says i had a lesson in school and. And the lesson in school, they said, you have to go and interview one of the most successful people that you know and you have to ask them, what's the biggest regret in your life?

And he goes through and he tells this emotional story about his uncle who's dying and his uncle happened to be a life insurance salesman. And he's in front of a life insurance crowd. It was us, right? And he's getting into all of it and he goes, I went to my uncle's hospital room and he's dying and he's on the bed and i said uncle so and so i can't even remember his name because the guy i mean just made everybody so angry because he was lying in the story he says to uncle so and so he says what's the biggest regret in your life and he says my uncle looks

at me and says that i didn't sell insurance for northwestern mutual wait and we ought this is a true story and we all fucking way we all we all are i mean you keep in mind we're the top producers we're the top 300 out of 10 000 right you can't shit a shitter so it's like all of a sudden this guy tells the story we're all walking out of there looking at each other like did he really just do that did he so my point here tell truthful stories what andy said pay attention to what happens there's enough real stories things that have impacted you coaches that had an influence on your life just tell real stories because when somebody does that your credibility's gone that guy couldn't stand on a stage with anybody in the company again. It's terrible. It's got to be based on the truth.

Everything you do has to be based on the truth. Or A, someone's going to find the fuck out and you're going to be ruined. Or B, nobody's going to believe you. And when it was that big of a lie, there's just no way that was even true. Dude, I'm like speechless almost, which is rare. I'm over here. If you guys can see me, I'm like holding almost which is rare like i'm over here like if you guys can see me i'm like i'm like holding my head in my hands like what the fuck like i think are you are you lying right now i mean i'm just saying that sounds like unbelievable

we're all walking out that's exactly the we're like this is on it is Ben, are you fired up? Oh, God. That's my joke here. Are you fired up? All right. You can cut that baby's line. Maybe not. No way I'm not cutting that. Oh, God.

Well, on that note, if you are interested in the show notes for this episode, it's themfceo.com forward slash P28. Forward slash P Diddy. I could do it. I could write it like that. I could make that the custom link. That'd be kind of funny. All right. Well, the next thing I noticed about you is that you use questions a lot.

You use questions to help people discover that they already know what they need to know in many cases, and they already have what they need to have to succeed. So I think you hit it on the head, right? I think most people already know. Most people already know. I mean, I was going to say something more than that, but I think that's really all that needs to be said. Most people already know. So what they're looking for is what we covered on Thursday Thunder last week,

which was validation. You know, they want validation because they don't have the confidence to believe in their own answers. So I think, you know, the most effective thing I've done in motivating people and getting people to work on their own without you having to, you know, push them so hard is to get them to understand that they do know you know and the best way you could do that as leaders to ask them right back what do you think you should do yeah you know what i mean what do you think you should do and what they'll do is they'll say well andy

you know i was thinking blah blah blah and i'm 98 of the time they're right and you're like okay and go do it so then they walk away with you with with confidence they walk away with autonomy they walk away with um you know a victory on their own like hell yeah i know what i i know what i'm supposed to do you know and then that's going to lead into another decision down the road another decision and then a year or two years from now you've got a guy who is working on his own doing what he needs to do you You don't have to be, you know, you don't have to hold his hand the whole way. And people appreciate that because they don't want their hands held. You know what I mean?

It's just developing the confidence for them to move out of the zone of I don't know to make them realize, yeah, you do actually already know. You know. Ben, does that work well in coaching? Tremendously well. I feel like the guru with the research today. So what Andy just said, there's a guy by the name of Max Weber, one of the fathers of sociology, and I always call it questions over statements, ask questions over statements. Because if you just go in and say, hey, do this and do that and do this, how empowering is that?

As opposed to when you do what Andy just said, ask them a question, let them uncover it. You've then empowered them, inspired them to choose the behavior that you know is the right behavior. Well, Max Weber goes through two definitions, power versus authority. Power is when you try to force or coerce somebody to do what you want them to do. Whereas authority is what Andy's saying. He's saying, look, I'm going to empower, I'm going to inspire you to choose what I know you need to be choosing. And to Andy's point, you already know what you need to do, but when somebody asks you a question and then you say, oh, well, if I handled it this way, this is what the outcome would be. And to Andy's point you already know what you need to do but when somebody asks you a question and then you say oh well if I handled it this way this is what the outcome would be and then Andy as the leader goes great let's go do that when Andy could easily said dude go into the warehouse and do this or go into the store and do this it's not as effective no it's

not because they don't believe in it it's not their idea everything everybody works more off of their idea you know what I mean it's amen yeah it's just one thing that you're good at with being a leader is that you'll ask your team questions like do you guys think this would work so you know when the team has a say in it you know they're more they own it and if they don't if i don't agree with what they're saying i'll say something like this i'll say well have you thought about blah blah blah blah blah and what did you just do he asked another question that's why it's questions over statements if they get the wrong i don't say hey the question you know i mean dude sometimes i do say hey look look you guys should fucking know this but more effectively you know that's when i get my emotion involved but and i do do

i do that you know i'm not gonna sit here and act like i don't i get pissed off and i'm like look i'm fucking paying all you guys to know this this is how you do it and sometimes that's what you have to do to get everybody get their heads out of their ass but more effectively you can if you have the patience which I don't always have the patience you can say hey and should say hey have you thought about it like this and it always works out better you know what I mean keep your cool you know become like the jedi you know and just ask them or keep keep your cool and say how is it possible that you were such an idiot okay how is it possible are you fired up so dude you know it comes down to this man it's just understanding what's going to get people to think internally

as instead of forcing them like just what ben's saying sometimes you do have to force i mean there's no question sometimes people just fucking don't get it and you have to be like hey go do this and then when they see the result then you come back to me say all right i asked you to do this because i need you to do this and this is is what the result was. Did you see that? And you're kind of like training in a, in a, uh, react, I don't know, like, fuck it. What's the word backwards? Like you're doing it after the fact, you know what I mean? Retros retrospectively training. You know what I mean? So, um, and that's, that's what you have to do, but it's more effective to empower people, inspire them by just getting them to think, you know?

You know, if anybody has been a longtime listener of, and by longtime, I mean the last year, a listener of the MFCEO Project, this is a subject and a theme that is repeated again and again, and that's the value of asking questions. Asking questions to become a problem solver. Asking questions to diagnose what your customers need.

Asking questions of your teammates. Dude, and you could do this, and this goes into speaking in front of groups too. Like when people ask a question, one of the most effective things you could do to somebody is throw it right back at them. Well, what is your solution to that problem? Have you thought about,

then they tell you, have you thought about this? You see what I mean? Because a lot of people do, but there's always those people that sit in a group and they think they're going to ask you, they think about their questions in a way to like, what can I do to stump this dude?

You know what I'm talking about? I'm looking at Ben. Absolutely. Their whole fucking motivation is sit there and like stump you, you know? Yeah. So one of the best ways is like to put it right back to them and say, what do you think? And get started discussion.

Yeah, that's a great point. Well, time is getting away from us. So I want to speed through the last two points. So we recently had a great speaking event and somebody said something to me that really stuck with me. And she said that it meant so much to her that in a particular podcast, Andy, you said, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I mean, even now, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. And she was like, I couldn't believe that he was so honest and said that he

struggles with doubt and confusion sometimes concerning the future of his business or what he's going to do. And I think that's a huge, huge part of how you motivate people is that you are open about the fact that business and life is messy and that you struggle, you doubt, you have your tombstone days. Why wouldn't you tell the truth about that? I mean, I'm asking you. If you were egotistical. Okay, or what else? why wouldn't you tell the truth about that? Mm-hmm. I mean, I'm asking you. If you were egotistical. Okay, or what else?

You weren't in the business of helping people. And what else? Insecure. Exactly. Yeah. So anybody who tries to pretend like this shit is easy and they're gifted with, I see people do this. They don't go through the struggle

and they don't have, I see people do this, you know, they don't go through the struggle and they don't have this, uh, you know, these days of doubt and they don't have these, you know, they make it seem like they're Superman of, of motivation, business, and life. And they don't share the struggles of reality with you. Most likely they're full of shit. Second off, they're full of themselves. And third of all, they're totally scared that you're going to find out that they're full of shit. You know what i mean so i don't have anything to lose by telling people

the truth that it's hard and the days i wake up there's days i wake up multiple times a week where i want to quit or that you know sometimes i don't know what the fuck i'm doing there's nothing wrong with saying that right you know i mean dude plus saying otherwise would be a lie It would be a lie That people deep down would not believe And not only that You know You have to think about like Are you helping or hurting people by saying that? You know and while

You say things to make you sound stronger and better And you know more You know of a superhero than you really are, what you're, you're not help. That's to help you. That's your ego. You're, you're not helping people because other people are like, man, this dude really has it. And you know, I don't have it because every day I wake up, I hate this and I don't know what I'm going to do. And I'm scared shitless. Well, fuck dude, I'm scared too. You know what I mean? You know, you have to let people know the realities of what they're dealing

with otherwise they're going to think there's something wrong with them which is way more harmful than just you know telling them the way it is i mean look man it's being authentic it's being it's being real it's telling the truth you know the shit's hard it's fucking hard for everybody you know and a lot of people won't tell their insecurities or their their their vulnerabilities or their failures or anything that they're worried about because they're afraid it's going to make them weaker. When in reality, I think it makes you stronger. You know, that's my opinion of it. Yeah. And it gives other people strength. Exactly.

And if you give other if you can give other people strength, they're going to give you strength. I mean, to me, I me, it just makes sense. I don't know. I think for me it's important to be transparent, to be real. Success is so incredibly hard. I get knocked down. I get challenged all the time. It drives me crazy when a speaker stands up there and they act like they know it all

and they don't go through – it's just not real. I mean, I have a personal coach. Why? Because I struggle with things. I have a personal coach. Why? Because I struggle with things. I have mentors. I have individuals who challenge me so I can have a more clear vision of where I want to go because I get uncomfortable with things and I have to figure out what's the solution to get through it. It takes coaches. It takes mentors. It takes other examples, great friends who truly care about you and challenge you to be able to get to where you want to go. Success is so incredibly

hard. It is not easy in any way, shape, or form. For anyone. For anyone. Right. Right. Anybody who tells you differently is not telling you the truth. Right. Which ultimately, that's what we're talking about.

We're talking about creating a trust-based relationship with your audience and with the people that work for you. And if you can't be honest with them, they're not going to trust you, which is what everything is built off of. I hope that makes sense because we're covering it really quick, and it could be a whole podcast on its own. I'll make one point that's really, really tight on that to hopefully tidy it up.

When I coach individuals, oftentimes they're struggling with things that I've struggled with in my life or I'm currently struggling with. So we have open conversations. The realness, the transparency, say, hey, I'm struggling with that. Here's how I'm dealing with it. I don't try to tell them I'm perfect and that's why I'm a coach because I'm a coach or because I speak that I'm perfect. No, I go through challenge. You have to be real and transparent with people.

Well, all of this really does lead to our final point. And what I would say to everybody is that this is in many ways what the MFCEO project is all about. And that is that there has been up to this point, a lot of good that has come out of the motivational, the self-help movement, the sort of institutional approach to business and entrepreneurialism and success. But what I think, and I think a lot of people who listen to this podcast agree, and Andy's Periscope followers and everybody else, I think they agree that the historic approach is only focused on the happy, the rainbows, the unicorns, all of the things that make for sunshine and happiness. And what we get with Andy is something different. Andy, your approach to motivation doesn't limit it to

just the positive stuff. You give people the full range of human experience and emotion, the success, the failure, the laughter, the cussing, the ups and downs. You're all about motivating people with real life. That's what you want to give people. Fair to say? I don't know any other way to do it. I feel like doing it any other way is a manipulation of people's emotions, and I don't think that's a moral thing to do.

It's easy to stand in front of a room and tell everybody how great they are or how awesome they are or how special they are and get everybody all pumped up on good vibes and not really share the reality with people, and I think you're setting them up for failure to pad your own wallet at that point. It's the same thing as telling kids to play sports and not keep school. It's not reality. It's not ethical. It's not an ethical thing to do. That's a great point, Ben. That wallet at that point. The same thing as telling kids to play sports and not keep school. It's not reality.

It's not ethical. It's not an ethical thing to do. That's a great point, Ben. That's a great point. I appreciate that. Yeah. Well, it's just not an ethical move. You can't set people up to fail.

And that's not right. That's what this whole show is based around. I want people to know that things are fucking hard. I want people to know you know that things are fucking hard i want people to know that it's hard for me i want people to know that it's hard for other entrepreneurs i want people to understand how much work it really takes i mean how many fucking morons do we have on the internet telling people they got rich in 12 months or telling people they have a fucking dude that's that's unethical to tell people that when it's not true. And it's not true.

You know, we see people selling programs and selling success and do this and that, and they fucking straight up lie to people to pad their own wallet. I don't think that's an ethical thing to do, which is really the point of this whole fucking show, you know, is to give people the reality. Like, you know know let's try

to point out the punches it's like a boxing coach like dude this guy's gonna come at you with a right hook and then a left hook and then a fucking right uppercut and i don't know boxing but i'm just making that shit up but the point is is like if you know to look for that stuff you're more prepared to deal with it whereas i feel like most success people quote unquote with, with, you know, and there's a few good ones, man. Like I've been read, um, you guys know, I'm a big fan of Gary Vee. You know, uh, I'm, I just, I, I just read Grant Cardone, uh, his first book, uh, not his first book, but my first book of his that I read the 10 X rule, dude, fucking it's good shit. You know, the guy's talking about the struggle. He's talking about the hustle and that's reality

but but these but a lot of these people are trying to sell people a dream that just isn't there and and i don't like that i had uh we've got a mutual friend uh claudio gambon down in orlando florida who had come to our virgin islands boot camp and he was out at a meeting he's a stud grant cardone just spoke and i said how did he do because i mean grant cardone's and i mean the guy just gives it real gets people to think big makes people uncomfortable and he says man he goes 40% of the room was so freaking uncomfortable and he goes I loved it see but that's because Claudio wants to challenge himself to get better you have all these people want to protect themselves it's ridiculous a guy like Grant Cardone similar to Andy he's going to go in I'm going to give it to

you real because that's what makes you better that is what makes people better and I feel like anything else that people I feel like anybody else out there spending sending a different message you know I think they do it to gather the emotions of people and get them to buy shit you know oh we're all great buy my book about how to be great no motherfucker you aren't great because you're not doing the fucking work. That's what they need to hear, I think. You know, I don't know, man. And, you know, a lot of people like to sell this mystical fucking bullshit. Like, oh, there's a secret to this.

Like, sometimes I feel stupid that we even do this podcast because there's so not a secret to this. And it's like, you know, what the fuck are we talking about? We're talking about making a fucking list and we're talking about crossing shit off the list. And we're talking about doing that every day. And if you do that every day for long enough, guess what happens? You fucking succeed.

You know what I mean? It, it, it's not a magical thing. I guess it's similar to like how, you know, you know, I'm,

I'm struggling with my weight right now for years. I, I, you know, I'm, I'm struggling with my weight right now for years. I, I, you know, I've always struggled with my weight to be completely honest. Um, I went for 15 years where my body fat didn't get over, you know, 13 or 14% when I was working in the store because I had motivation to keep it there. But like, dude, I didn't fucking, you know, believe there was some magic about it, but I deal with, I dealt with people every day who came in and they overweight people and they felt like there was like a magic thing. Like,

Oh, I just can't do it cause I don't have it. Right. You know, but, but, but sure as fuck, man,

you, you get them on a meal plan, you get them doing a little activity every day. I guess what happens? They change, right? Their bodies change, their beliefs change.

They, they change as a person. And you know, I feel like those are so similar. Those mentalities are so similar because I see a lot of the same mentality that I've seen with people who are overweight and think that there's like a fucking magic to it. You know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. When in reality, it's a math equation.

It's how much you bring in versus how much you fucking put out. Right. And it's the same it's how much you bring in versus how much you fucking put out right and it's the same thing with success right so i so i posted this on face or not facebook but i posted this on does that make sense what i'm trying to say absolutely like the mentality is very similar like i even talked about this at our at our event on uh friday like it's and and people they there's just no magic to it. It's a cause and effect relationship. Right. So I posted on Instagram, I posted my favorite quote from your talk last week, which is, to your point,

I'm not an unusually intelligent person with extraordinary gifts. I'm a regular dude who made a daily list of critical tasks that needed to get done, and I did them. Yeah. That was your explanation for how you built a multimillion dollar. That's it. It's that simple. But see, to get people to look past the magic and the,

and the, the fairy dust and the pixie dust and the, the, the, the, the story that society has told them about success to get them to look past that and quit looking at it as a mystical thing and start looking at it as a cause and effect thing, that's what we're fucking paid to do. Like when I go speak to a group, my fucking job is to get people, and what do I say every time? I'm like, dude, my job is to get you to walk out of here and to leave that magic fairy dust belief about success at the fucking in this room

and never think of it that way again. And start thinking of it as cause and effect. Execute. Results happen. And that's, you know, that's it, man. You know, and tying it into this episode, it's the same thing when you're leading your team, man. Getting your people to understand that their performance is not some thing. It's cause and effect. Dude dude my dad has this great saying and anybody who knows my dad

this is what he always says you make a list you call the fucking list when you call the list you do it again you make a new list like that's his saying make a list call the list when you call the list you make a new list like that's his you know it can't get any fucking simpler you know what i mean yeah if your goal is to lose weight you know you make a list you do the list you do it every day eventually you're fucking where you need to be you know now i realize i'm not the perfect example of that right now but you know i'm working on it you're pretty spelt oh i'm not worried about i don't think that there's magic to it i know that like hey i drank too many fucking beers and you know lived up too many times right you know i don't look at it like it's fucking you know the

unicorn of fucking physicality is going to come in here and stick his fucking unicorn horn in my asshole you know what i mean and make me fucking spell i'm just saying man you know you know that time's a factor yeah dude and it it's a it's a it's cause effect it's it success is no different right well i just read from uh instagram and while we're at it we haven't done this for a while but uh let's share our social media contacts. Ben, you are? At Continued Fight for Periscope, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and Ben Newman for everything else, Facebook. I'm at Andy Frisella on Instagram and Periscope, MSEO-1 on Snapchat.

I mean, do we not know by now? Yeah, they do. But you know what? There's a fucking machine out there called Google. Well, that's true, but we not know by now? Yeah, they do. But you know what? We might have... There's a fucking machine out there called Google. Well, that's true. But we honestly have... We are constantly getting new listeners. And some of them don't start with episode one.

They start now. So my social media contact is at Vaughn Kohler, V-A-U-G-H-N-K-O-H-L-E-R on Instagram and Twitter. And Tyler is... Come on, Tyler. You got to get closer than Mike here. And Tyler's my tie fluffy rainbow at six, nine, six,

nine unicorn in my ass. I'm just saying like, I don't know. Like, I don't know what people think. Man, Tyler is at my tie. M a I underscore T Y.

No T. I don't know what it is. Right. T. A. I. M. A. I. Underscore T. Y. L. E. R. No, T-A-I. I don't know what it is. Right? T-A-I? No. M-A-I underscore T-Y-L-E-R. Oh.

You know, that sounds like the drink. Dude, that's how we came up with that name. No, I know. We were drinking at Joey B's, me and him. Is that what that means, Vaughn? I know. You guys don't get a deadpan humor, obviously. Deadpan?

Deadpan humor. That's called bad humor. I know. The jokes just aren't funny. Yeah. You fired up. Dude, but here's the thing, man. You guys, look.

You've got to understand what it takes to communicate with people. You can't lie. You can't fake it. You don't have to be overly polished. Just get to the fucking point and help people improve. People overcomplicate everything, you know, whether it be public speaking or business or fitness or whatever, man. You know, they take it and they make it complicated instead of taking it and making it easy. Make shit easy.

You know, have a point. Make the fucking point. Move on. You know what I mean? Show people how they can be better through your actions. Ask them the right questions. Ask them what they think. I mean, this is not hard.

So the next time you wonder about how am I going to get through to people or how am I going to reach my team or how am I going to do this, stop worrying about the delivery. Stop worrying about getting the shit they try to teach you in school. Like, oh, speak with no pauses and no verbal, you know, ums or, you know, stop trying to be perfect and just be real. You know, and you're going to get a lot more accomplished that way than you ever will trying to be this polished. In fact, being polished is counterproductive. The more you try to be polished, the more it's going to take away from the effect that you could have on your team. And, you know, at the end of the day, it's all about transferring enthusiasm. If you're not an enthusiastic person, you're going to have

to do more work. The more enthusiastic you are, the easier you can get through to people. It's just an emotional thing. It's like music. People are born with an affinity for music. It's in your DNA, just like enthusiasm enthusiasm everybody knows that one guy that rubs off on you and you every time you're around them the guy makes you feel good and gets you excited try to be that guy you know not inauthentic but just work on like actually speaking about shit that you care about you'll get excited i think most people limit their most people limit their ability to be an effective speaker an effective leader because they're afraid they're going to look stupid when they're enthusiastic. Well, yeah, you're going to look stupid sometimes because sometimes you're going to be enthusiastic.

People are going to look back at you like, what the fuck? It's part of the game, you know, so don't be afraid to make mistakes. Don't be afraid to say what's on your mind. Be real and you're going to have good shit happen. All right, guys, now go use this shit and make something happen. All I do is work.