REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Setting the Record Straight on Success, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO14

Episode Date: September 8, 2015

Success is realizing your own full potential.  That's Andy Frisella's bedrock principle. In this episode of the MFCEO Project, he explains that success is a very misunderstood concept--and he sets the record straight.  Joining him in the studio are Ben Newman, Vaughn Kohler, and special guest, "Big Jim" Frisella, Andy's MFDAD.

All I do is work, work, work. Never run the sidelines, I only hustle. I'll never take a day off, I only work, work, work. I don't mess around, kid, I only tell. Lordy never sleeps, get your shit together. All I do is work. All I do is work. Hey guys, what's up?

Welcome to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy and I am the motherfucking CEO. I'm here with my co-host, Mr. Vaughn Kohler, the pastor. What's up, dude? Former pastor, but yeah, thanks. The pastor Vaughn. Once a pastor, always a pastor. That's true.

And my good friend, Ben Newman, speaker extraordinaire. What's up, dude? What's going on, Andy? How are you? Hey, man, I'm fired up. Ready to go. Yeah, me too. We have a special guest in the podcast here today, the OG, the original MFCE dad.

My dad, Big Jim, what's up? What's up, I'm the original sperm donor, I think. There's never been any DNA stuff. Some days I think he is, and some days I think he's not, I'm not sure. Some days, maybe. You know, we've talked about him a couple times on the podcast I want to get him on here and uh you know he's going to be chiming in with probably some uh stupid shit probably some informative shit like father like son huh

so you'll see where I get it from um anyhow let's start with the question of the day vaughn yes former pastor yes all right dude is the world ending are we coming is the world coming to an end because i just saw this thing we're having like four blood moons yeah okay friday the 13th is halloween this year the last time it was on friday the 13th was 666 days. Wow. Or 666 years before that. Where'd you hear that? Dude, I read it on, it's got to be true, it was online. Clearly.

Yeah, clearly. All right. Then we have people fucking shooting each other on the fucking highway this morning, national news. We've got all this racial fucking bullshit going on, you know, between people who are supposed to get along and be normal humans. We have, you know. Caitlyn Jenner. I mean, yeah, we've got Caitlyn Jenner.

We've just got all this crazy shit going on. I mean, what I need to know from a religious expert, which is why we have you here. Is the world coming to an end? I have no idea, but I will tell you this, whether it is or not, it shouldn't have. I mean, you should live the way that you're supposed to live, whether it's coming to an end or not. You know what I'm saying? I guess. Yeah. Well, I mean, we have a book on the table here that says how to live with a huge penis. The world has got to be coming to an end. How does that tie into a blood moon?

I don't know. You know what's interesting about that? But I'm just putting in all these truths, and I'm tying it together, and I think the world's coming to an end. So what I think we need to do is we need to have the coolest podcasts ever, and just while the world's ending, we can just report on it.

Right. Well, to your point, though, I think people are too obsessed about that kind of stuff. Instead of just report on it. Right. Well, to your point though, I think people are too obsessed about that kind of stuff. Instead of just saying every day I could die. So how am I living? Rather than the end of the world, just saying every day I'm going to die someday. So how am I living? Yeah. There's no question. People lose sight of that every day. I mean, every day, every, every day people wake up, they go through the motions, they go to work, they come home, they say, oh, you know what? What I really want to be, I'll start that tomorrow.

You know, and then on, you know, the day they're ready to start, they get hit by a fucking bus on the way home from work. You know what I mean? Right. It just seems to always happen that way. And people need to start realizing that our time here is definitely not guaranteed or or uh and it is limited you know and and that's what we try to come with here we try to get perspective on you guys um we try to bring information that's going to help you get to where you want to be and yeah we're going to curse yeah we're going to say offensive things it is called the motherfucking

ceo for a reason because i am really tired and a lot of us are tired clearly by the amount of downloads thank you very much that we are seeing of the fluffy butterfly pixie dust everybody fucking wins attitude that's been bred into our society for the last 20 years so um if that's your style if you want to go hear about how things you know are might be or should be and not how they are, this probably isn't the podcast for you. Right. So anyhow, that's the question of the day. Is the world ending?

What do you think, Ben? I really would love to hear a Bible verse from Vaughn because I've never really bought into any of this stuff. The world is coming to, I mean, really, the world is coming to an end based on what? Dude, I just thought of a new segment we can have we could have vaughn rap bible verses yeah tyler's laughing this would be awesome all right so every segment every day so vaughn you better be ready next time i'll be ready vaughn's gonna come in he's gonna rap a verse all right i'll be ready yeah there's actually a rapper named Lecrae. Lecrae?

Yeah. Does that translate to Vaughn somehow? He's a Christian rapper and he's so good that there are a lot of people who are not Christian that really like him. Where does he rap? He has one of the top iTunes downloads. You know, I don't know the last time. I can't tell you the last time I listened to him. Do you do your white boy boogie?

I do the white man's overbite. No, but we should have a... I don't know. Vaughn's coming out of his shell. He wants to rap. No, I was going to say every episode... He's got a new vibe to him over there. I think it may come out.

Every episode, we should have a segment of just deep thoughts with Pastor Vaughn. What do you think? Deep thoughts? I think it should be... I agree. We will allow that as long as it's in a rap format. All right.

I'll plan that ahead of time. I think as much trouble as he gets for coming over to the dark side, I think we need to have some pastor thoughts. That's true. So people know he still has it in him. That's true. Yeah. Because I've given my soul over to the life of podcasts and riches.

Vaughn, the former pastor, and now he's podcaster slash riches bitches. Dude, we get a fucking email sent to us that says, Vaughn, what's it like to turn your back on God and become a podcaster for the life of riches? I mean, dude, there's something fucking wrong with people. I haven't seen it yet. The world's definitely coming to an end. Andy keeps promising it, but I haven't seen it yet. And I's definitely coming to an end. You know, Andy keeps promising it, but I haven't seen it yet.

So, and I know he's got this big tub of, like you said last episode, you got this big pool of gold bullion. Yeah, like Scrooge. Yeah, Scrooge. Scrooge McDuck. Yeah, that's right. So, that's great. All right, guys.

So, like, today what we're going to do is we're going to talk about one of the most commonly misunderstood words in the English language. We've talked a lot about this privately. I'm interested to hear what my dad has to say about it because I don't think we've ever talked about this before. We've talked about a lot of things, but we're going to talk about the true meaning of success. You know, I call the young guys coming up. You guys all know if you follow me, I call them the young bucks. All right. And the young bucks coming up, man, they're always looking at the material things, you know.

And when I was young, that's what I looked at, too. I looked at the cars. I looked at the house. I looked at the lifestyle. And I'm like, man, you know, that's going to be awesome. And that's what I strived for, okay? And you think, okay, once I get to that, I'll be successful. And I'm holding up quote, unquote, you know.

And today we're going to talk about the real meaning of success and what that means and why it's important for you to understand that now, as opposed for you to spend the next 20 years chasing something, get there and realize that it's not exactly what you want. OK, so we're going to talk about the meaning of success. And to start us off, I think you wanted me to. What do you want to say? Yeah, it's funny that we were talking about spiritual things because you kind of had this sort of Moses up on the Mount Sinai moment where you realized something about success. What was it, like a year or two ago? Yeah, man. So I have this forever growing up, and my dad knows this, like when we were little kids, he was real good about instilling in us you know hey if you work hard and you do this you could have that you know and he would point to the things we'd see a cool car or we talk about

shit and you'd be like yeah but you've got to work to get that right and so i've always grown up in my business wanting to get to a certain point financially thinking like oh that's where I need to be. Okay. And so about a year and a half ago, I got pneumonia. All right. And I got sick and I missed over three weeks, three full weeks of work. And when I had pneumonia, I couldn't leave the house. I was in the house every day, sitting on the couch, drinking fucking beers, hanging out, you know, watching Pacific Rim 47 fucking times, which surprisingly enough, that movie is still fucking on all the time.

It's been on for like two years. Do you guys have Dish? What network? I got Dish Network. Oh. What do you guys have? AT&T. What do you have?

DirecTV. Well, yeah, I have DirecTV too, but I mean, that's... Whoever programs the movies on cable and Dish and all that, you motherfuckers are lazy. Switch up the fucking movies, okay? Because I've seen Pacific Rim 317 times, and it's still good, all right? There's nothing cooler than big giant robots fighting each other, all right? But the point is this. I sat on the couch. All right. We were doing great business at that time, which we're still we're doing much better now. I was at a point where I was recently married. You know, I have the nice cars. I have the nice house.

I make a great money. I make a better money than I ever had. And I'm sitting on the couch, not lifting a fucking finger. And I thought a lot about where I was and, you know, you have a lot of time to think when you're, when you can't even leave the house, you know, it's, it's, uh, it's like being a prisoner of your own brain, especially when you're somebody who thinks about things. Um, and I started thinking, I'm like, man, you know, like, this is like what everybody wants, you know, you could sit on the house, you could do whatever the fuck you want, you've got everything you need, and, you know, here I am making all this money, and I'm not doing shit, this is, you know, this is what people want, except for I was miserable,

I hated it, I was unfulfilled, I didn't feel good about it. I, I missed my people at work. I missed going to work. I miss being around the people I'm working with. And, um, it gave me some perspective that I think I needed because up until that point, it was just about really just chasing those goals that I had set earlier, you know? And, uh, what I came to realize for myself is that success isn't, and this is going to sound corny and it's going to sound like what fucking everybody says, but success isn't a destination. It's not a point in time that you reach. Okay. It's about fulfilling your ultimate potential. You know, I, and that's how I define it.

I define success as fulfilling your potential. Okay. And what that means is that it's not a potential. Okay. And what that means is that it's not a destination. Okay. And we all see that quote, success is not a destination. It's a journey, but there is truth to that. I never really thought about it as a real thing, but it's the point between where you are and where you can be, not where you want to be, because where you think you want to be, you know, at the time I was 34 years old when that happened. And I'm pretty much exactly where

I wanted to be in all aspects. So what do you do the rest of your life? Do you just sit at home and do nothing? You know, and I think people misunderstand the point of what success is until they get to that point. And then they look around. And so what we're until they get to that point and then they look around and so what we're trying to get to guys is this we want to talk about this because we want you to realize and you always hear these things like you especially hear this from unambitious people or people who aren't you know moving forward in their life and they say shit like this it's not success isn't about money. You know, success is not about material things. Success is not blah, blah, blah. And that's true.

That's a hundred percent true. But there's a difference between understanding that you are on a path to fulfill your potential and using that as a fucking excuse to go sit in the corner and not do the fucking work. Totally two different things, right? Yeah. When you first told me that story, the thing that I found most compelling about it was you kept on saying, you are the measure of your own success. You, you, you. And I know you and I have talked about this is that most people don't think about that. Most people think of it in terms of comparison. Like how do I measure up to Andy or how do I measure up to Ben or how do I measure up to somebody else? And I know you've told me before that that's not only an unwise thing to do, it's really being unfair to yourself. Well, yeah, because you don't really start at the same place as everybody else. You know, I've got this guy here who raised me and my brother

to be competitive. He raised us to do the right thing he raised us to uh always do the best that we can and he would happen to be in business um you know what no happening i was in business by my own choice i know but well but but i couldn't choose being born into somebody who owned their own business. I can remember pulling up to school one day when we were going to grade school and it was like, you know, eight 30. And I'm like, and this is when I first realized that what he did for a living, I said, Hey, isn't your boss going to be going to be mad at you for like being late, you know, dropping us off. And he's like, well, no, cause I am the boss, you know? And I'm like, Oh, well that's pretty fucking cool. But you know, tell, tell him your story's pretty fucking cool you know but you know tell

tell them your story a little bit about how you got how you just and and take your time tell them how you got in business and what you did it the story starts with my dad and and uh that's all i could say he was in business he was an electrical contractor he had like 15 guys that worked for him and literally when we were we had there was seven boys, five in a row. We had 12 kids. There was seven boys and five girls. But the first five boys were about one year apart. So we basically lived in like a dog zoo, if you want to say that.

You know, throw the kids a bone. It was always fist fighting and punching and screaming. But my dad dad made us work always he made us go out and earn money he he made us clean the trucks he made us uh do all the things this is when we're five years old six years old seven years old and by the time i was 10 i could wire a house by time i was 15 i was a full electrician i could do anything under the sun and he he would how many houses you burned down oh i don't know maybe that was before they had the battery powered drills and all the things now and he would put us on a house and we had hand hand tools uh the old tool the drill that went like this which you can't see on his podcast but

you did it by hand. And he would put us in a house, and he'd mark little yellow, red, green, and blue marks on it, two-by-fours, and we'd drill the holes. And we would wire the whole house that way. It would be five little guys. And the owner was never there when we did that. Of course. I know that.

Of course, free labor. Nowadays, you go to jail for this shit. But we learned responsibility, and we learned how to work we we dug all the ditches we climbed in the attics we climbed in the holes with the snakes underneath the houses and uh that's how we grew up and and he literally quite a bit different than uh sticking your kids in front of a fucking nintendo no we didn't have Nintendo. You wonder why there's such a big, giant gap in the work ethic. But one of the things, and there's so many rules that he, I always said, beat it in our head.

But it's the same thing I did with Andrew and Sal. Beat it in our head. Everything's a lesson. You want to be the best? You do best you go twice as hard you got super power you can do you want to get beat by that guy why would you want to get beat by somebody else you want to be better than him and it's up to you it's not up to somebody else it's you and you got it in your power not me not me myself it's you it's you it's you it's you and and and uh uh we were always about athletics i'm getting kind of off the story here but it was athletically sal and and were both gifted and both of them uh in in soccer i mean this is started in the

company here was that was the kill chant yeah and and'd tell him, go out in the soccer field. I said, they're your enemy. You go out there and you want to kill them. This is like five years old. He's like Sensei from Karate Kid. Yeah, right. Bad guy. No.

Except for. No, I don't know that guy. But I'm just saying, like, dude, it wasn't. You guys don't understand. And people don't understand. And when I tell this story, people fucking think that I'm either bullshitting or they think that I'm fucking crazy or they think that you're crazy. But, like, we have this chant that we do here at our company called Kill, Kill, Kill. Okay?

So after every meeting, everybody puts their hands in and we fucking do the chant. All right? That chant started when I was five or six years old on the way to soccer chant. All right? That chant started when I was five or six years old on the way to soccer games. All right? We'd be in the back of the fucking car going to the soccer game, and most likely Sal and I would be fighting.

And the deal was, okay, if you scored a goal or if you hurt another kid, you get to pick out a toy. All right? There's always a payoff. Yeah. So we went to uh and i'm serious dude this is dead serious so we would go to the games and he would go all right look time to get

serious quit fucking around back there blah blah give us a speech you say all right now what are you gonna do when you get there and we'd be like kill and he'd be like what are you gonna do and we'd be like kill and we're like what are you gonna do and we'd be like, what are you going to do? And we'd be like, kill! And we'd be like, what are you going to do? And we'd be like, kill, kill, kill! We'd run out there and fucking kill these kids, dude. I mean, it would just be pure brutality. Like, you would go to jail today. So to your point, you benefited from a legacy of hard work. Oh, no question.

It was their thought process that I instilled in them was the fact that if you do your best, it wasn't about killing somebody or hurting them. They understood that. That wasn't it. The way to score that goal was over that guy, not around him. And if you ran right at him, and this is the way most people are, unfortunately, they'll get the hell out of the way because they're scared. Right.

They never were taught those rules. Right. You have it in your power. I don't, you know. Well, I was, I was teasing you and calling you sensei, but all kidding aside. I don't even know what it is. Well, you don't know the sensei from Karate Kid. Listen, you're, you guys are young guys.

Well, but to your point though, you, you, it, to me, you're, you're teaching your kids something that most people don't teach their kids, which is the value of competition. The value of competition, the value of taking responsibility. If you've heard him say 30 times already, it's about you. It's about what you do. It's not about what the other guy does or what, you know. It's about taking responsibility for what you do in your life. This was never about hurting somebody.

And that concept gets through with people that don't understand no they don't andrew sale and i understand perfectly and maybe it's about being aggressive go ahead and kill it i mean just go do your best go ahead absolutely kill it you it was about being aggressive it was about going out yeah going in the fucking corner and he would always say puck okay but it was soccer because our older brother was a hockey player. So he'd get in the habit of saying puck. So he'd be like, you go in the corner, you get aggressive, you go in the corner, and you come out with the fucking puck.

All right? I did curse back then, too. He still curses. Before we put him on this podcast 10 minutes ago, he doesn't even know what the fuck a podcast is. We had to explain it to him, okay? And then come to find out he's got a periscope he said he's going live right now four followers right so ben you you've been

waiting patiently to say something you know i pay attention to the things that people say and if everybody heard big jim he called them rules not lessons and there's a big difference between a rule and a lesson a rule is this is the way that it is if you want to be successful this is a rule of life as opposed to here's a lesson a lesson is i'm going to go to school i don't like what the teacher says maybe i'm going to listen maybe i'm not a rule he's looking at his boys in the eyes and saying you want want to be successful in life, son? This is the rule. Follow it.

You'll be successful. And look at the byproduct. Yeah, well, here's the thing, okay? So we'll talk more about how you started your company here in a little bit. But the point we're making here is that you can't, you cannot judge yourself against other people because you have no fucking idea where that person came from. See, you guys look at me and you say, blah, blah, blah. Look at all this shit.

And yes, we have a great story. Yes, we started with very little finances and we've turned them into a lot of finances. Yes, it's taken a long time. And yes, it took a lot of fucking blood, sweat, and tears. But here's the reality. I also had a lot in my brain to start with that I had from being born into something, you know, and you can't help that.

So and which is the reason we do this, right? That's the reason we're even doing this podcast. We don't get paid to do this. We do this because we want to bring the old school hardcore lessons to you that I learned that have helped me and and that ben you know you guys have learned as well growing up you know and that's the point of the whole show and and that's really why i wanted him to come on he didn't even know he's coming on until an hour ago no i just texted him i said come up here he's like why i'm like to be on the podcast so then i find out he calls sal my brother and he's like what do i gotta like dress nice and stuff? What do I got to do?

I'm like, no, it's a podcast. He's like, I've got a periscope. I can't make it up there. I'm redoing my bathroom. I'm filthy dirty. I got a carpenter working. I'm working with him. And I just got all this stuff.

So I got to abandon him and tell him I got to leave. And now I got to go back and I'll probably have the plumbing in the wrong spot and this in the wrong spot, but I can make that do. Yeah. But that's okay. I feel like I can get you cleaned up. Come on, yo. No, man, nobody can see you. It's just audio.

You know, the rules, you know, my question, I'm not surprised what these guys do at all. I see it exactly. And my question is, what's taking you so long? Yeah, no shit. But that's the same thing. It's not at all all i know what's in his brain and what's in sal's brain i i it you call it beat it in her brain uh the rules of the rules of being successful and the word success i can define it 10 different ways yeah you know and you right success is defined within your own world for different things.

You've got social success. You've got personal success. Not just financial success. There's so many ways you could say it, but that's a big word, and it's defined differently by different people. And it just isn't financial. You've got to be whole and complete. Right. Whole and complete is one way of saying it.

And lack of fulfillment, that's very, very important to figure that out. You've got to figure it out on your own. I can't teach you that. Well, no, I know. You've got to figure it out all on your own. Listen, man, I've already figured it out. That's what the whole story was about. I do like what you said about, you know, what's taking you so long because Andy, I know one of the things that you've always talked about too, in terms of understanding success and why it's such a bad idea to compare yourself to other people is not just about what advantages that they

have, but also you don't know how long they've been at it. Dude, I just had this conversation with Steve Mayer, Agent Steven on Instagram. He's a good buddy of mine. Just talked to him on the phone this morning. We're talking about this. He's 40. I just turned 36. Okay. And he was talking about going to a benefit for Matt Damon's charity where there's all these dudes that have six seven eight nine cars that are million dollar plus cars and we're because we both are car fanatics so we're talking cars and I'm like I'm like dude you know the thing is is like when I'm around those guys I always feel like such a fucking loser because like I'm not there yet. And he, and he, and he's like, he's like,

dude, me too. And then we're like, we're both like, yeah, but they're fucking 60 and you're 39. I'm 36. And if you had everything you wanted now,

what is there to fucking work for? What is there to progress for? What is there to push for? And so, you know, you always have to keep in line. You know, it's,

some people are very, very bad about placing themselves in a real position of where they are. And that's called self-awareness. You know, you want to develop the skill of being able to place yourself in an honest fashion of where you are. You know, a lot of people are either very arrogant about how much progress they made and they're not humble or a lot of people feel so bad about the progress that they haven't made that they're never like able to appreciate what they have actually done let me let me uh say something i wasn't criticizing your project what progress what i was really saying is i know what you meant i i know i know you and i do yeah but but for other people no no they know for other people on the other side, the other side is microphone. They don't know who the hell they are.

I don't know who they are. Somebody out there. That's it's, it's not, I'm not criticizing at all. There's a turtle turtle tortoise in the hair. And the thing is what you were saying is this, it's you guys, like when I say like when people call me successful, like you guys heard me say that I get really fucking annoyed by that. You know what I mean? Because I personally feel like we should be so much further along than what we are.

And and that's just the nature of somebody who is driven, who wants to progress and wants to succeed. That's that's a natural feeling. You know, the people who say oh dude i fucking made it those are the people that lose everything they have you know they're sitting on the mountain looking down or their little anthill that they think is a mountain looking down saying i'm the greatest and then guess what we talked about this on two podcasts ago about being humble you know they're not humble enough to realize that like hey i've had a little bit of success which is me i've had a little bit of success there's people who are fucking thousand times more in every area than i have ever progressed

so you have to be able to look at that and like that's you know that's why i was trying to get out with that story about steve you know steve's a very successful dude you know he just bought a two million dollar fucking, you know? We're both the same. We're both like, fuck, dude. We're like so far behind where we should be. And that's a mentality. And I think that's what, I mean, you have the same mentality.

Well, your little story you told before about looking backwards, present, and the future. I mean, there's a – I'll give you a little bit different version. It's the same version, but a little bit different words. We'll use the word happiness versus success, and those are not the same words, but they're close. And it's defined that the journey is the part – you don't even know when you're on a journey all the time. You're on a journey. We're on a journey right now. Right when you're on a journey all the time you're on a journey we're on a journey right now right you're on a journey right now and when you when you look back

your world is defined by successes you had and failures and if you have more successes and failures you look back and you say man i was freaking good man and you get happy about that right and if you stop and you stop there and you just Right. And if you stop, and you stop there, and you just keep looking back, man, you're dead. Right. That's a great point. Yeah. I mean, that's, but I've seen so many people,

and I'm not going to name names. You and I have seen people that have amassed fucking fortunes. And when I say you and I, I'm pointing at my dad. They have amassed fortunes and fucking lost them because of that exact point yeah and then you know looking forward to the future you you got to define that future over and over and over again it's not it's not and what you think will make you happy isn't always what it is but you got to have goals and and you got to wake up and say man i'm gonna go buy that two million dollar car right

that's if that's what it is but it's not just that guys and that's that's what we're trying to get no no it it's it's not uh it's it's that complete picture which maybe it took me a long time to figure this out it was 35 before i kind of got it and you're at that age where i got that man i was in business was making all kinds of money and i was doing this and doing that and i got to do everything in the world. Name me a place I've been, I've been there. Name me something you've done, I'll top you. People nowadays think I'm full of shit sometimes because they'll tell a story, and I'll tell

four of them. Do you know what I mean? I've been here, I've done this, I've done that. No, he's been around the world, man. And that's fine. I can brag about it. I don't even give a shit. I mean, you know, I'm still the same guy I was. I'm not any it. I don't even give a shit. I mean, you know, I'm still the same guy I was. I'm not any different. I don't, my ego is I wake up happy every day.

I look around and I wait for somebody to fuck it up and I'm going to fuck them up. Kill, kill, kill. No, but don't disturb me. I'm a rattlesnake, but I'm happy. You know what I am. I wake up and- You mean like fucking Grizzly Adams grizzly adams next door your next door my dad's arch enemy is grizzly adams his

next door neighbor what's what he calls him what's really impressive about you big jim though is and i've i've heard this because andy has been accused of oh he just rode the coattails of his of his dad and yeah right and that's what's really impressive to you is that in spite of all your success you made your son do it himself i didn't make him do it he did it on his own i i encouraged him and we we had a million conversations i can remember doing shit i can remember doing shit remember when you made me and rob and chris build that fucking fence in the backyard dude it was 150 fucking degrees outside i I swear, it was the hottest. It's the hottest I've ever remembered it. And we had to build this fence around his swimming pool.

And that doesn't sound like a lot of work, but, dude, we had to dig the post holes. It was rock. And it was like fucking pure rock. So, dude, to dig one hole, you know, that sucks, right? Normally, everybody here has probably dug a post hole. Dude, those fucking things suck. You know, I'm not talking about with like an auger i'm talking about with the thing you get at home depot that you just throw in the ground right all right dude 50 million holes

and it's probably 200 oh dude it took like it seriously took like four weeks to dig the fucking holes okay but every day we had to go out there and dig the holes and that and and it's just shit like that you know learning the value of what work is that puts people at an advantage and today now you know parents are afraid to make their kids fucking get off the goddamn fucking video instead they make them you know they say oh johnny you know i'm gonna make you fold your laundry. That's not fucking work. Make it fucking work. That's what's wrong with our fucking society right now. People think work is folding their T-shirts at maximum for a 10-minute break off of Doom or whatever the fuck they're playing now.

See, but this is what fired me up when Andy and I first met, and the opportunity to be challenged by you, to be inspired by you, to grow together, to talk about doing tours around the world, to do all these things is because of that mindset that came from your rules. And I will never forget the second time we were ever together, we sat in your training room and we were doing stuff on the whiteboard. And I wish you guys could have been there to see this. I would ask Andy questions. He'd talk about, no, it's the next level. It's where we're going with first form. Then he would talk about what he wanted to do as a speaker and the opportunity to inspire you and to go and allow you to realize your unrealized potential. That is your success. It's saying it doesn't, the dollars don't matter. What matters is

I have more inside of me that I can give to this business. I have more inside of me that I can give to other people. And you're doing it, and you're not even close to being done because all you want to do every single day, correct me if I'm wrong, is wake up and tap into that unrealized potential because today is the day that you have. You've got none other than today, and it's an opportunity to work your ass off. And that mindset has been lost in the world today. Dude, first of all

yeah not by everybody not no no no not by everybody too many by too many yes by too many and and that's the point of what we're talking about here that's the point of this that's why it's called a project that's why we call it the mfceo project people are like why you call it the MFCEO project. People are like, why do you call it the MFCEO project? Well, first of all, it's the motherfucking CEO, all right? Because everybody in society is so fucking pussy now that they can't handle a fuck. Well, fuck, fuck, fuck. That's what I'm going to say, all right? Second of all, it's a project.

Because that mentality, in general, for most fucking people has been lost it's been lost because when we go to school and we grow up we're taught we are taught by people who are in situations that they have accepted in life okay so the kids fucking get set in front of doom they get sent to school who you know and dude i love teachers dude my teachers had tremendous influence on my life that's why we do things for our high school it's our biggest charity that we give to all right but they're not for the most part kids are not being taught that you know hey kill kill kill and go go get it and be aggressive and and don't worry about what people say about you and face criticism instead they're being

taught hey little Johnny it's okay you know that person just has you know they didn't take their fucking riddle in today you know instead of being taught like hey toughen the fuck up and go do it anyway you know like we talk and that's why it's called a project because we're trying to bring a fucking message that is just not being brought at this point in time so i you know i find that that highly successful people the ones that i've met be it in sports or in boardrooms around the world it's one of two things they either have these rules that they've learned growing up or they've faced adversity in their life. Right. You know, my parents were divorced at six months old.

I'm seven years old watching my mother come to the dinner table with an IV stand every single day. My mother's dying in front of my eyes as a seven-year-old boy, 24-hour nursing care in our home, and my mother is coming to the dinner table to ask me how my day was at school. And I don't talk about this much, but after my mother passed away, my father moved back in, had challenges of his own that resulted in him being passed out on the couch every single night when I got home from school. And I thought daddy was tired. My dad was not tired. My dad had issues that he stared straight in the face. So my whole life, it's been adversity. It's been challenged. It's been getting knocked down. But you know what? I had people that surrounded me, mentors and coaches and people who loved on me to help

me get up off the mat of life. And just because the world has told you maybe it isn't your time, you can choose to take a positive path. There are people who are going to give you those rules, those guidelines, those coaches. And what frustrates me is when people say, oh, somebody didn't take their Ritalin. They didn't do this. But you know what? It's their choice.

It's your choice to not respond positively. And there's perspective. And I've been through enough where anytime something tries to shake me, I say, you better come harder because my mother came to the dinner table with an IV stand. So you better come with some serious heat because you will not break me. Right. And people need to have that mindset that you can persevere. You know, I mean, we're taught, we could talk

about 50 different points here, but I think the round out, you know, our first point and our first segment, um, here is, is that guys, it's you. Okay. You are the measure of your own success. It doesn't fucking matter how much money you've made, how many businesses you've started, how famous and influential you become. It's if you're not living up to the potential you have and you have still more in the tank to give and progress, you're going to be a fucking failure. You're going to die with a bunch of regret. You're going to say, Hey, I could have done boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Had I just given a little bit more. All right. That's the first point of what we're talking about when we talk about success. Um, we've got a lot more to come. I'm going gonna toss it to Vaughn here real quick and let him do the

extremely important technical stuff that Vaughn does so and you know go ahead and give that information now before we move on to the next next point sure I'm gonna make it quick because we always have a lot of fire in our episodes but you guys are on fuego right now I think it's because we care that much. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, I'm not kidding. This is amazing.

But guys, if you want the show notes and the links galore to this episode, go to themfceo.com forward slash P14. We've got a lot of things that we're going to be getting up on the website. We've got so much going on. It's a little overwhelming at times, but it's a great privilege. And so keep your eyes on the website. There'll be some products coming out. We're just about to start production for a new course that Andy's going to do on risk-taking. So get ready for that in a couple months. And of course, in the near future, we've got the books coming down the pike at some time soon, but're very we're working hard but in addition to that we're just going to go around and real quick uh

ben you're at continued fight at continued fight is periscope instagram twitter and then ben newman for everything else okay uh andy forsella on instagram um and periscope uh i'm spending a lot of time on periscope guys if you haven't downloaded the app, you need to get on. I think by this time, when this show airs, I should be somewhere in the top 40 on Periscope in the world. So, guys, I'm spending my majority of my time there. Come to Periscope. Check it out.

It's an awesome app. It's very interactive. We get to speak one-on-one. Very, very cool app. Join the horses. And if you don't know what that means, hop on. Get me at Andy Frisella. Join the horses.

Giddy up, motherfucker. And then we have my Snapchat, which is MFCEO-1. And that's my behind-the-scenes stuff. I put a lot of car pics and stuff like that on there. I'm at Vaughn Kohler, V-A-U-G-H-N-K-O-H-L-the-scenes stuff. That's like, you know, I put a lot of car pics and stuff like that on there. Yeah. I'm at Vaughn Kohler, V-A-U-G-H-N-K-O-H-L-E-R. That's Instagram, Twitter, and VKO-MFCEO on Snapchat. And I'm going to start Periscope next week, probably with a feedback for the MFCEO fans.

Anybody who wants to share their feedback, I'll be listening, and that'll be next week. Well, next week meaning the same week that this podcast comes out. You finished your script is what you're saying. No, I didn't. I did. You know what I really want to do? I, if I can get Andy to, to give me permission to this, I, cause this would be a draw for people. I want to announce the, uh, the winners of the review contest on my Periscope. That'd be cool. Can I do that? For sure. All right. Great. Great. Let me know. Let me know when you're in. Yeah, I'll do that. I'll do that. So that'll be next week. And before we move on, I got to mention our only sponsor and I'm proud to have them as our only

sponsor. I will not let people sponsor this show if I do not believe in their products and we're getting approached nonstop because of the rankings that we're getting on iTunes about sponsoring. But this is a company that I about sponsoring but this is a company that i believe in this is a company that i use their products um and i like the guys who run it they're just good dudes they're aggressive they think outside the box and they embody a lot of the things that we talk about here on the podcast business wise um the company is called dollar the dollar beer club okay and you can find them uh, the dollar beer club. Okay. And you can find them on Instagram at dollar beer club. If you have a beard, they have the best products that I've ever used. Okay.

They've got good shampoo. They've got oil, they've got balm and wax, and they send you all kinds of cool stuff. Like I've got this brush here that, uh, I'm probably going to use on my beard and on my dogs. Cause it's like a dual purpose thing. And I don't care about that because I got white hair in my beard anyway so it's gonna mix all in but here's the deal if you have a beard they are the fucking shit dollar beard club follow them on instagram uh and and get on their products if you don't have a beard you are a gigantic vagina and grow a fucking beard all right so that's my pitch i must be one. But I can grow a neck beard. I think we talked about that. Yeah. Everybody in here has got at least a partial beard.

At least a baby man beard. I was able to oil up my scruff, too. I know. Ben was busting out the beard oil right before the show. What do you think? It's fantastic. Yeah, it makes your face feel good, man. It feels real good.

They should get the yak woman to be a sponsor. Dude. I mean, you know, like a spokesmodel. Guys, I'm serious. Follow them on Instagram. Like, for no other no reason even if you don't have a beer entertaining yes follow them on instagram and watch how they market their product it's amazing these guys get it they're smart they've got great products i mean and i won't i will not endorse a product that i do not like or use i just won't do it a lot of guys will do that i won't do it. A lot of guys will do that. I won't do it. Um, but besides the products,

they're worth watching from like a, uh, a case study on entrepreneurs and how to succeed and build a company in today's social media world. You know, the guys are really cool dollar beer club. Check them out. So, uh, anyway, back at it. Yeah. I'm, uh, I'm looking at our outline and it says, say something to transition back into success talk so i guess that qualifies big jim had uh something he wanted to say you did no i i got you didn't ask me but where where i'm from i'm i'm usually at home you can't get me there but you're on my phone now Yeah I'm on Periscope now I got four followers Nice So

Dude I'm socially media inept So Are you MFDAD? That's what he should be Yeah Probably ADD

Dude you guys gotta understand I'm along with Tyler here Like He We have some interesting conversations Because What year did you get out of business? It was

2000 Around 2000 Okay so the internet Like he basically Exited his business because what year did you get out of business? It was? 2000. Around 2000. Okay. So the internet, like he basically exited his business. He sold his business to his brother around 2000, which was, we started our business in 99. All right.

And so that timeframe was a transition period in how business was done. You know, like technology for back then was like fax machine, right? And like everything was mail and it was paper and now it's no paper. Now everything's automated. I can't, I open my laptop maybe once a week just to clear the emails. I do everything off my phone. We have text, Instagram, Facebook, all this shit.

And so him and I, you know, we get together and have beers, and we have interesting conversations because it's so different in how we communicate, but the principles are still the same. Well, really, social media and the social media, you know, Andrew, I don't want to say he says it this way, but he says, I don't freaking understand. I don't understand. I understand perfectly, but the basics of business haven't changed at all. It's still, okay, you advertise on Facebook.

We used to advertise on WIL or KMOX or whatever. You put so many dollars down, you got so many dollars back, and only yours is at a faster pace, faster. Yeah, it's constant. It's instant. The concept hasn't changed. It's just 100,000 times faster. Do you want to tell them how you found out about Facebook?

No. I don't want to. No. No, I don't. I don't have a Facebook account. I've got to tell the story. I've got to tell the story. You've got to tell the story now.

It's an innocent story. Okay? So this is how my dad finds out about Facebook. All right? The reality of it. This is how my dad finds out about Facebook. All right. So we, the reality of it, this is how my dad finds out about Facebook. We go to a Nashville and my bachelor party. All right. As a group, as a group. And we, we go, it's, it's guys and girls. It was a joint bachelor party. We went, there was like 50 people that went, I didn't do anything. So we go out you know for four three or four days

we go out every night drink beer hang out party it was awesome everybody had a good time well emily has like a shitload of really good looking friends right and they're all with us and my dad's there and we're all out having a good time innocently uh you know we're all on dance floor watching the bands if you haven't been in n and gone on Broadway is awesome so we're watching the bands and stuff and it you know everybody's kind of around each other well these some of these photos from the the trip get posted you know we're all out on the dance floor well he's standing next to like the hottest girl in the group and it like it's just the picture just looks like he's like dancing with her.

But really, it's just like him hanging out with her. And so I get this text when we get back and he's like, he's like, hey, so he goes, what's this fucking Facebook thing? And I'm like, I'm like, what? What? Why? I can't really explain it via text. Well, somehow a photo got posted of me, and you need to make sure it gets off the internet. I'm like, Dad, I can't remove the photo from the internet.

Bullshit. It was off in about 10 minutes. So anyway, so come to find out, you know, I think he was getting kicked out of his own house because somebody, some friend of a friend of a friend saw a picture of him and reported it back home to him and his girlfriend. He's been with for, I don't know, 15 years, you know? Well, and so I, you know, we go over to his house and it's his house and all his shit's in the fucking bags.

It wasn't that bad. Yeah, right. That person's still around here, and Wendy, my girlfriend, they're friends now. They finally talked last Sunday. She was over at Sal's house, and they talked. But the point is that's how much he didn't know about social media. He didn't know the rules on social media. No, I know the rules.

Yeah. I wasn't married while I was in business, and I know the rules, man. You get caught doing stuff. You got a regular girlfriend, you get killed. Yeah, but here's the thing. That's the point about social media. That's a good point. And although we're talking about business, it's 100% transparency.

And if you go out and pretend to be something you're not nowadays, you're going to get fucking caught. And whether that be with a girl or another guy or whether that be in your business or telling half-truths in business, there's no place for somebody to tell fables about anything anymore because the internet will make you an honest man. And I just think that's, anyway, the moral of the story, and that's our good transition. I wouldn't finish. So, but go ahead. Hey, look, we can talk about this all

the time, but we got to stay on course here. Move on. Yeah. So guys, we're talking about what the definition of success is. And there's a couple other things, you know, you guys have to understand that you need to look at success in terms of present, not past or future. I think people think that once they get rich or famous or build a business or whatever story they've told themselves about what success is, that they're successful. And that's not the truth. They were successful. If you're sitting right now in a position that you think, oh, I'm successful, no, you were successful. You have to understand that

time is always moving. Okay. It's a noun. It only has present form. Success is a noun. It only has present tense. It doesn't have future tense. It doesn't have past tense. Okay. Yeah. I think the thing that makes that really encouraging is that you, you could be successful right now. like today. If today you work to your full potential. Or not successful. Or not successful, right. So it's based on constant activity.

You can never rest on your laurels. You can never go into passive mode. You have to constantly be working on it, which is both an accountability, but it's also an encouragement. Because like I said, you could have, the last year of your life, you could be living a half ass life. But if, if on Monday you decide, okay, I'm going to kill it. You're successful. Right. And it's a process, you know, it's not

a one-time accomplishment. It's just ongoing. It never stops. It's not static. It's not, it's not something that you could just point to as a blip. You know, it's dynamic. It's fluid. It's always moving. It's always in forward motion. And the moment you stop and focus backwards and stop moving to fulfill the potential or giving what you have in the tank, you're not successful anymore. And I think people, you know, you may have the prizes around you that the past work

or the past success that you've developed you know have provided you but that doesn't mean you're successful so when i'm sitting on the couch watching you know uh pacific rim you know drinking my my beer hanging out waiting for me to you know get my next paycheck i'm not successful i'm enjoying some of the fruits of my past success at that time. And if you sit in that zone long enough, guess what happens to those fruits? They get eaten up and they're not there and you don't get to enjoy them. And a lot of people look at this success. And this is why this is dangerous, guys. A lot of people look at success as a destination endpoint place. I want to own two Lamborghinis. I want to have $2 million cash.

I want to have a big house. I want to have a wife with big boobies. And I want to, you know, have an 80-inch TV screen. And I'm successful. Okay? And that's what people think. And then when they get there, they don't go through the things that, they don't go through the mental process that we're talking about here on this podcast.

They stop and they say, dude, I made it. I'm here. And that's it. And then what happens? What happens? They lose it. Okay? It dwindles down.

They stop progressing. The people chasing you catch you and beat you. And then you're starting over from scratch. And it's a lot harder to start the ball rolling than it is to keep it rolling. That's the reality. So you have to understand that it's not a place that you just get to. It's a process. It's a point of reference along your journey that you can reference at certain times.

But you should always be looking to how you can improve, how you can give more, how you can make people better. And if you do that, you'll always be successful. It'll always come back to you. And people don't think of it like that. It's so annoying to me personally when people talk about it like, when they say things like, this person is successful or this person has made it. What the fuck does made it mean?

What does made it mean, Ben? What the fuck does made it mean what does made it mean ben what the fuck does it mean i've never believed in that concept because you always got to be looking for the next opportunity it's that growth mindset that we talked about i mean the moment that people say that they made it they end up going backwards which is the which is the point that you're making right you can only go forward and backwards you can't stay at the same spot that's what people don't understand. And when they say you made it, I hate that term so much

because I know that if someone truly believes they made it, that it's only a matter of time before the world just shits on them. It's just the way I've seen. How many times have you seen that in your life? You're 70 years old. Many, many times. And I mean, it's okay to take a little vacation.

No question. I mean, I don't mean like go to Mexico. I'm saying take off. You wear yourself down. You wear yourself out. You might not work as hard as you could for a week or two or a month. If you take the vacation too long, the troops will get restless. Shit happens.

Boy, it'll happen everywhere. It happens fast. Then sweeping it up, sweeping up the mess is like oh yeah you know i've been through it i've been through it too man you you you you get you have a little insurrection with the employees the women you know you don't show up for work they get mad at you and no for real i mean it's and then it takes a long time to fix it well no i mean how many times you hear about it guys we see it all the time in the news, right? These guys are super wealthy, super successful. A fucking year later, their life is in shambles

because just like success is a matter of momentum and moving forward, you create that positive momentum. Like you said, the vacation. If you take that fucking vacation too long, dude, the momentum changes real quick. And that momentum of going down the wrong side of the mountain, you know, going backwards, that goes just as fast as it did, you know, when it was going well. I told Andrew some time ago, and I've told him this a couple times.

Some of the things I told him, there was one was it's a little it's a little white lie because once you get on a marigold round you can't get off that son of a bitch man and if you do that's that vacation if you're off that vacation too long you know things will come you know it'll be it'll change but but uh what when you're when you're on that marigold round and it's rolling that roller coaster you just need to figure out how, I don't want to use the word enjoy, but how to make it, not to get the stress, because there is stress involved and there is worry. Well, one thing I think you realize, like I realized in my little helpful for me was that I realized how important the people that I'm surrounded by in my day-to-day life were. I was lonely. I was like, dude, I didn't get to see Jason.

I didn't get to see Sal. I didn't get to see Chris. I didn't care that I didn't see Tyler, you know, but, but, uh, but the point was, is like, you know, I see these guys every day and until you're away from them for a while, you, you forget how important they are and how, how good of friends you are with them on a personal level, because they are your life as an entrepreneur, the people that you're surrounded with. And, you know, that was one thing I took away that really helped put things in perspective. And I'm kind of embarrassed to say like, that's when I, it took me that long

to figure it out. But up until that point, you know, it was kind of like, okay, we built this engine. The purpose of the engine is to make money, right? The way we make money is by creating value. I knew all of those things, but what i didn't appreciate was the personal part of success of the friendships that are made and the i mean you've told me this when you sold your company that's what you miss we've talked about this a hundred times i sold a company it was it wasn't about him missing money or the income or anything it wasn't money it wasn't i was i had 24 outside salesmen and 200 employees and and i went to every football game baseball game every freaking you you name any restaurant you know been there a hundred times or whatever and

name any amount of money you spent okay we spent it it's not it wasn't about that but it was when i sold the company is i didn't have a purpose anymore right i wasn't you know nobody called nobody cared because they're on the business they got their own stuff to take care of right i didn't make a money i didn't do anything for them or with them and it was different it was took me three years it was depression really yeah yeah i i i get people consult me all the time about they want to sell their business they want to do this they want to do that and i i always say be very, very, very careful about what you really want. I mean, why don't you fade off a little bit at a time, which I'm not saying I would do that.

I'm saying that you have to think about it. Well, yeah, but you kind of learned that a more difficult way because you guys don't really know the story, but what had happened was he was in a pretty bad car accident and they were in a situation uh a stressful situation at work and he kind of you kind of made a decision to sell the company i knee jerked yeah and a knee jerk reaction and so he didn't think about these things so when he speaks about what he misses he's speaking from experience you know and and and i've been fortunate enough to hear that but you know until i went through that myself um in a little bitty way you know i realized okay fuck dude this is way more about just this being a business this is

this is a lifestyle and i mean it it in my business and and it's in a business it's not that it's that culture thing i talk about and i just talked about. You want to create something that you're proud of. We'll use the word success again, happiness. Every one of your employees should be the best educated. It's a competitive spirit. You want to be the best educated, the best trained. You want them to be the best and to be the best, and if you do that, they're right with you. They're the Marine going over the wall.

They're the football team, the lineman or whatever. They're with you 100%. Yeah, there's all that camaraderie that's built and friendships built during that. And you build it, and it's easy to lose that real quick. But people don't think about those things when they think about, like, oh, when they think about, like, people that are not in that situation. You know what they think about? I could sell my company and get 300 million dollars and i could what the fuck you're gonna do with 300 million dollars you're gonna sit around and do what i'm exaggerating but once you have a nice car say two nice cars okay and and this is no reflection on anything

here just it's a way of saying something not a you got a nice house you got a nice condo in florida you got a nice this well i mean that sounds like a lot of stuff but but really get past nice house nice car nice wife and then you get nice kids and and you have maybe some more grandkids too you you know. But, no, you enjoy those simple things in life. Getting up, I wake up happy every day. I said this before. I wake up happy every day, and that little joke about you make my day, it's true. And when I was in business, it was.

There'd always be some son of a bitch trying to unmake my day, you know. But enjoying seeing Andrew, seeing sal seeing tyler right here man i like seeing that guy come over here that's because you wear the same color shorts he wears you guys must have bought your shorts at the same place there are a lot of girls on snapchat that like seeing tyler tyler's trying to hold my hand over here keep your hand off my knee he's sitting right next to me because you can't see this to both of your guys's point i mean this is something you've said uh just countless countless times and and you'll continue to say because it's true that your success is largely determined by the people that you surround

yourself with and then to your point big john excuse me big jim big john big john big jim to your to your point big jim uh and that is that success is more than material. It's people. And that does sound cheesy, and that does sound like rainbows and unicorns, but it is. It's more than just the material production. Andrew gets this, okay? And he'll get it more and more as he gets older because it gets more and more important. You're responsible for every one of those people.

And I didn't worry about this. I learned I don't have any monkeys on my back. I walked out of my place every day because I didn't do anything that was bad. I made good decisions, good for me sometimes, but good decisions, and good for everybody, and you weigh them. You put them on a scale, and you weigh them, what's good for the company. But I was responsible, and it took me almost to 40 years old to figure this out. I'm responsible for what car they drive, what house they drive,

every one of my employees, what school their kid goes to. There's a social responsibility that comes along with running a company. And when you see, like, the newscast, you know, all these rich guys, we should tax them to death, we should do this, we should do that. Most of those big businesses that become successful, Microsoft and Apple, those people had that same culture. They treated those people perfect. You know, Walmart, whatever.

Those were born on those. Dude, the people that criticize people like that camaraderie they've never fucking done it yeah period okay you're talking about some asshole who's sitting up on a fucking tv stage talking about how so and so and they look at the rich picture it was rich motherfucker blah blah blah they don't think about the donations given they don't think about the jobs created they don't think about the donations given they don't think about the jobs created they don't think about the the income created for these families or the food on the table all they talk about is oh look at that guy in his fucking rolls royce and dude it's always for someone who's never

fucking done it period guys this is a great conversation very far ranging and a lot of great stories let's let's uh focus and sort of recap a little bit as I want to do. So basically, Andy, you're just saying that success, the bedrock principle that we're talking about here is that you are the measure of your success. Success is not about what you accomplish. It's not about how you compare to someone else if you're not realizing your own true potential. So that's the bedrock principle. Right. So then beyond that, what you said was that success is not something that you did in the past or something that you're going to do in the future. It is always about what you're doing

now. But then along with that, you said that the really great thing about it is you can benefit from your past experiences. You can benefit from this cumulative effort so that you sort of build momentum and really can kind of hit your stride. So where I'd like to take it, if you're okay with this, is just to talk about bringing in something that Ben talks about in the Mental Toughness Playbook is that, once again, we've talked about this before, we talk about it again, this whole idea of success. To be truly successful, you've got to really look yourself in the mirror and be honest. You know, you guys all know I'm fans of Gary Vaynerchuk. If you haven't read his books, read all of his books.

The guy has an awesome podcast. He has the Ask Gary Vee Show. Incredible. Everything he does is solid fucking gold. Um, but one thing he talks about, which I agree with a million percent is that if he could give the, if he could give away a skill, like you can make a skill into like a pill or a shot and you could just give it to people, you know, he's like, cause he always talks about hustle. He's like, I wouldn't give him hustle. I wouldn't give him drive. I wouldn't give him ambition. I give him self-awareness. Okay. And the reason that you have to have self, and most people hear that and they're like, what the fuck is self-awareness okay and the reason that you have to have self and most people

hear that and they're like what the fuck is self-awareness but this is where it's important okay and i love how he brings that to the forefront as a principle that people need to have because i have not heard one other person talk about how important it is to have that and you know i could be misunderstanding why he says this but this is why I think it's important. Okay. Because here's what happens. We're talking about fulfilling potential, which is something that you only really know yourself. Right. So it's real easy to say, man, I'm doing my best or man, I'm doing all I can. How many times do you hear that from someone who's maybe struggling with some things?

And he's like, Hey man, you know, I'm doing everything I can. Hey, dude, I'm doing my best. 99.99% of the times you hear that shit, it is a fucking excuse. So you have to understand how to be so honest with yourself, even if you fucking lie to other people about it. You've got to know in your heart, am I giving my best? Am I doing everything I can? Am I moving forward and giving at the rate that I am capable of? And being self-aware means you have to fucking look yourself in the eye and say, no, I am not and I can do more.

Okay, because here's what happens. People usually compare themselves to their peers. They compare themselves to, which we just talked about not comparing yourself, but we all do it sometimes. We have to stop ourselves doing it. But what we do and what most people do is they compare themselves to people they work with and they say oh look john over there you know i'm doing more than him and suzy over there i'm doing more than her so i'm fucking winning no you're not winning because what you're comparing yourself to is

people who are doing the bare fucking minimum to get by or not get yelled at or not get fired or not get in trouble so you're going to not get in trouble. So you're going to do an inch more work. So you look like the superstar at your place because you work with a bunch of fucking lazy motherfuckers. That's not fulfilling potential. And, and people, you will go to people like that and you will talk to them and they'll say, dude, I'm doing my best. Look how good I'm doing. I'm doing so much better than these guys. Doesn't matter. What matters is, is are you giving the amount that you have to give? Because here's the reality of life, guys. We're in a fucking competition, all of us. And you guys, this is competitive. You guys look around your workplace and you say, dude, I'm the best here. And you think I'm going to be successful

because I'm the best here. But you're wrong because other places that you are not, there is people giving their full potential. And you're competing against them and you're not seeing effort that they're giving. And so when you get past where you are now, all of a sudden you're competing with someone who's trained themselves on it. And when I say this, because this becomes a habit, all right, giving your full potential becomes a habit because they train themselves

on a daily basis to do the best that they can. So eventually after many, many, many months and years of giving all you can, you wake up and you do it without thinking about it. Okay. So the only person you cheat by saying, Oh, I'm better than John and Susie over there. And I'm the best in my office and go home and beat your chest. Like you're this fucking anomaly of hard work. The only person you're hurting is you because you're going to run into, you're going to run into this other dude that works at this other company that you don't see because you're going to move up your little company. And then you don't see this guy and he's going to fucking slaughter you. That's the bottom line. So you have to be able to look yourself in the eye and say, dude, am I giving all I can? Because only you know if you are. And the question for most people, the answer to that question from 99% of people listening

and the people in this room is no, you're not giving all you can. So I got a question for everybody. How bad do you want it? You know, Vaughn likes talking about the mental toughness playbook and you know, everybody can get a free copy of it, right? We're not selling it free playbook.net go download it for free, but here's an action step. We wanted to give to each and every single one of you. And the challenge is how bad do you want it? And are you willing to look yourself in the mirror and talk about the truth of where you are? The first mental training tool in that book is called attaining belief in yourself. It doesn't mean we're saying you don't believe in yourself. It's about where you are right now. What is the truth of your situation

and what can you do to get to that next level? That's what it's all about. It's about attaining belief in yourself and connecting to the truth, which is what you're saying. If you're not willing to connect to the truth of where you are, there's no way in hell you're going to get to where you think you can go. You have to have purpose, which big Jim mentioned, there has to be purpose. And the purpose will give you the fuel in order to drive that truth to the vision that you can achieve. And the self-awareness comes in too, because you have to have a realistic measure of what you're doing. If you're not, I mean, most people fucking lie to themselves. I don't have any other way to say that.

Most people lie to themselves. They think they're doing way more than they actually are. They think they're capable of much less than they actually are. And they lie. And in order to be ultimately successful in your life, because at the end of your life, you're going to look back and you're going to say, that's when you will be self-aware by default because you're going to go back and you're going to give yourself an honest evaluation at that point because you're like fuck it's over and

you're going to look back and say dude i could have done a lot more i'm going to fucking i'm going to fucking die knowing that i could have done a lot more and and all and honestly i can't think of anything worse than that this this is one of the reasons diving into these types of topics to really have people recognize that potential is why I'm so excited to really be able to travel the world, to be able to do this, do it anyway tour, to be able to spend a whole day with all of our listeners. We're going to get as close as we can to all of you in different regions. Not too close. Don't get in my personal space. There's nothing worse than fucking face talkers don't face talk me man so when we're when we kick this off in st louis on november the 6th

don't don't get too close to andy well dude it's weird man like i feel like they're gonna like i feel like people that face talk are gonna fucking kiss me it's a fucking weirdest thing like if you're a face we're talking about self-awareness be aware of how far away you are from another man's face that isn't into other men i'm gonna start doing that when i debrief you i'm just gonna sit right next to you like god it's fucking weird anyway don't irritate no no i don't irritate the bear everybody everybody now knows when we come to visit you but that's part of what andy and i we want to spend a whole day. This is not easy, right? I mean, what you're talking about, this is not easy. It's not a flip of a switch.

No, I mean, you have to choose to work on. Yeah, we're summarizing here. That's the point. You got to work on it. When we do the tour, we're going to get in depth on how you can achieve these things. Okay. Because there's making you aware of the concept, and then they're showing you how to execute on the concept.

So the tour, and I mean, I guess this is a pitch for the tour, but if you have an opportunity to come to the tour, we're going to cover these concepts, and then we're going to cover the how to execute on these concepts. So come to the fucking tour, right? Yeah, I mean, so there's four dates right now. We're getting ready to announce the rest of the schedule, and the details will be up on the website.

But November 6th will be in St. Louis. I think we should call it the MFceo tour beyond the thunderdome it just sounds fucking badass and we can wear like the fucking thunderdome costumes oh man like dude i'll be the dude that like you could be tina turner and i'll be the dude that has the dude on his shoulder and vaughn you can be the shoulder dude i can't be be Mad Max? No, because Big Jim's got to be Mad Max. Oh, yeah. I'm in. I'm all in.

He's in now. He's in. No, go ahead. And then we'll be in Toronto, Canada, January the 15th, Miami, February the 6th, Orlando, February the 7th, and then we'll be announcing dates in Austin, L.A., Chicago, and then we're going to have a huge event at the end of the year for those that attend the previous event in Las Vegas,

kind of like a big reunion kickoff to just really enjoy this time together to continue to grow because that's what we want. We want to spend time with you so that you can achieve your unrealized potential and to keep growing, not to be content. Forget about the – I hope that's what everybody's pulling from this. When you hear Andy get fired up, he does not want you to be content. Big Jim does not want you to be content. Forget about the, I hope that's what everybody's pulling from this. When you hear Andy get fired up, he does not want you to be content. Big Jim does not want you to be content. Vaughn, we don't want you to be content. We want you to continue to grow and challenge yourself. Hey, Ben, maybe I'm out of turn here, but as you mentioned those different tour dates,

if people want to get involved, like to help, can they, or is there really nothing to do in terms of help and plan and that sort of thing i think for andy and i you know we've got a great team we want people to come and work on themselves yeah i mean that's the most important the best thing you can do is come and dive handle yeah work on yourself come and be ready to work on yourself you know andy and i don't have to take the time to travel around i mean andy what did he just tell you he could sit in front of his tv and make money, right? So he doesn't have to do this,

but that is him recognizing his unrealized potential. He wants to come be with you. If I don't fucking do it, who's going to do it? The whole world's going to turn into a bunch of fucking zombie pussy video gamers. But once again, as we talked about earlier, that's a rule that you learned from Big Jim. So you say, that's your mindset that you've adopted. Itim yeah so you say who's gonna that's your mindset that you've adopted it is i that's what we want you guys to have yeah man i mean here here you

know let's wrap it up we're getting long-winded and and guys you know ben's right we we do this because we have a passion for it you know but what i want you to realize is that if you take anything from this from this podcast it's that that you are ultimately responsible for your own success. And your chances of success are profoundly affected by your peer group. You know, we've talked about this on previous podcasts. We've talked about this many a times here and there on the internet and on, if you follow me on Periscope. But if you're not surrounding yourself with the people that push you forward, okay. I just did a scope on this yesterday. I call them propellers and anchors.

Okay. You're a boat. All right. And you've got two kinds of people in your boat. You've got people who are propellers. Those people push you forward. They demand more of you. They make you, they point out your unrealized potential to you and it might piss you off, but they force you to fucking look at that space that you're not looking at to where you could fill it and do something. All right. Those people are propellers. They're the people support you. I'm not talking about the people who make your life easy. I'm not talking about your buddies you drink beer with who tell you how fucking great you are. I'm talking about people that force you to see your unrealized potential and force you to act in that way. So those are your propellers, all right?

And who are your anchors? Dad. Those are your motherfucking buddies that you drink beer with that tell you how great you are. That's your girlfriend who nags you about how much you work. That's your people who tell you you can't fucking do that, all right? That's what I who nags you about how much you work. That's your people who tell you, you can't fucking do that. All right? That's what I'm talking about. And you have to eliminate the anchors from the boat if you want to get it moving fast.

All right? Very simple concept, right? You want the boat to go fast. You want a bunch of fucking propellers and not many anchors. Very simple. All right? So make sure that you're surrounding yourself with people who are going to push you. And it's going to make you uncomfortable. You know, it's going to make you feel at some times like you're a loser.

Like I was talking to Steve this morning, like we talked about a little bit ago. You know, when I go to a party sometimes or go to an event, I'm around people who are so much further down the path that I am that I'm like, fuck. And it puts it in perspective. But you know what? That uncomfortable feeling doesn't get me depressed. It makes me go home and harness that energy into things that are productive, you know? So make sure that you're surrounding yourself with the right people. We get this question a lot. I know Ben, you do on Periscope and so do I, what about this person? Or what about that person? Or what about this person? And guys, there's a lot of like unwarranted loyalty towards people like, Oh, what about my lifelong friends that don't support me? Well, dude, if they don't fucking support you, guess

what? They're not your fucking friends. Okay. Quit. You need to redefine what you see as a friend as opposed to thinking you have some sort of moral obligation to somebody because you've known them since they were three period okay so guys we've covered a lot here this is a very in-depth um lifelong concept to kind of understand and progress on um but the bottom line guys is this, you have to define success the right way. Don't look at it like it's a Lamborghini. Don't look at it like it's a bank account. Don't look at it like it's a big house. Cause if you do look at it and you get to that point, not only are you not going to be happy, you're going to die with a lot of regret and you're going to lose what you have because you're not continually moving forward. you don't understand how to improve from that point because if you're not moving forward

you're going backwards and that's the bottom line this has been a great conversation um i'm going to sign off ben final word i don't think there's anything else i can say i i have learned a lot being in this room big gym for me i would, the takeaway for me is rules versus lessons, right? And surround yourself with the people who are wanting to bring out the best in you. Absolutely. I'd just like to say to the people, talking to the people out there that we're talking to, talk's cheap. If you don't do it yourself, nobody's going to do it for you. You've got to look in that mirror of self-awareness and say exactly who you are. Because talking about it nobody's going to do it for you. You've got to look in that mirror of self-awareness and say exactly who you are

because talking about it isn't going to do shit for you. You've got to act on it and act on these principles. They're principles, and you can't do them in one day. You can't do them overnight. But you've got to live and have a competitive spirit and move on with your life. Don't talk about it. Do it. Boom, motherfucker. That's the show. We stack four fives. We live. you you you you you you you