REAL AF with Andy Frisella - SUNDAY SERMON: Cash Flow, Character, and Creating Amazing Connections, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO284

Episode Date: February 3, 2019

There's an enormous amount of greed & insanity in the whole entrepreneur & success space. Do you really want to be a part of it? Do you really want to promote it in any way? I don't. That's why I've stepped away from speaking at most of the conferences & want nothing to do with the shady parts of that culture. What all of us should want...is to make money the right way (which is the most effective way) & to learn how to listen to people in a way that makes a huge impact on their lives.

If you want to make your dream become reality, the people that are running after that dream know they're going to have hard times. They keep on running because they're saying within themselves, I'm the one, I'm the one. No matter how bad it is or how bad it gets, I'm going to make it. What is up guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host and I am the motherfucking CEO. Today is Sunday Sermon. You know what that means. We're going to fill your heart. We're going to fill your soul. We're going to replace Jesus. Wait, I'm just kidding. Can't replace Jesus. Can you Vaughn? No. Can't. We do have the second best thing though And that's DJ DJ God

Distance second but second What's up dude Listen when they're playing Eazy-E In the warehouse It's going to be a good day Dude I went back there and they did not know who that was Well Scott was playing it I know but they didn't know

They didn't actually know who was Eazy-E No I was making them guess And they were guessing all kinds of stuff. We have a moral crisis in our planet, or in our country, when young people don't know who Eazy-E is. Dude, they didn't know who Dr. Dre was. But I do confess that in spite of your encouragements for me to watch the movie, I have still not watched, not Boys in the Hood, the one about NWA.

What was it called? You told me it was a really good movie. It's awesome. I can't think of the name. Straight Outta Compton. Yeah. It's a great movie. Yeah.

You haven't seen it? I haven't seen it yet. I want to. You're going to love it. I want to. You will love it. Yeah. It makes every middle-aged white dude

feel like a gay. Right. We felt legit. I did. Too legit to quit oh when uh when we were listening to easy you got some fucking parachute pants at home i know you do and you dance like you do that side to side dance yeah and i had the two legit you know you guys can't see me but i'm making the two legit to quit uh thing do you know vaughn's at home practicing his parachute pants what are they he called that mc hammer he called that dance something i forget what i don't know the hammer shuffle or whatever it is yeah yeah i know

you practice that i would love to have mc hammer on the show dude i bet he could teach you some stuff about what not to do with money exactly yeah like literally the dude was i mean it's kind of sad because he was so generous you know he got this is that what happened Is that what happened? Well, yeah. I think he had these... I don't really know his story, his backstory. Basically, the story is that everybody and their brother who knew him came out of the woodwork and was like suddenly his best friend. And he started supporting them and helping them. Oh, man.

Yeah, it was bad. Can't do that. It was bad. It's hard to say no, you know. Did you actually have family members that you literally never talked to that once you started getting, you did? Of course. It just kind of popped up? Of course, yes.

It's crazy. Of course. And you know what's funny? Every single one of them was the same people that would like say, like condescending shit to me when we were getting started. Oh, of course. Every single one. I believed in you. like condescending shit to me when we were getting started oh of course every single one i believed in you no every single one of them was the people you know who say the famous line oh you still got

that little vitamin shop what do you plan on doing with that when we started it was the same motherfuckers yeah every single one of those people that asked me for money or asked me for help or asked me for this or that or a job. Every single one was one of those people. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. I'm being dead serious. Oh, I know you are. So in other news, you are normally a somewhat intense individual who expresses yourself in somewhat forthright ways. But I have noticed in the last couple days that there has been maybe an additional fire flickering from your words. I didn't know what it was because I came home the other day and Emily was like, what's going on with you?

What'd you take today? And I didn't put it all together, but we actually did come out with a new product uh that we started that i started taking that has been really getting me good uh energy and making me feel good yeah uh yeah um but i didn't put that together as to why i started feeling good but um you know what dude the truth is man like, I'm just tired of this fucking space. You know what I'm saying? I'm tired of it. And I know I go through this shit and you guys have been through, you know, hearing me say that, but I'm sick of it, man. I'm not talking about the fitness business. I'm talking about the success entrepreneur space. You know, I'm so sick of the predatory mentality and, you know, getting people to come to an event, pay $5,000 or $1,000 or fucking $15,000 to go to a fucking event only to be fucking sold more shit. And like, dude, I can't, I can't stand by and say nothing about that.

If you're too unaware to realize what's happening, I have a moral responsibility to point it out. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, I don't think it's okay for someone who's, um, in the beginning of their journey, looking at some one and there's not just one person does this. There's lots of people that do this, but looking at people that are successful and, and saying, I'm going to go to this event i'm gonna pay five thousand dollars to learn from this person or a thousand dollars when they don't fucking have it and they're racking it up on their credit card or they're asking their parents or they're going into debt to get to these things only to be told well to really learn this stuff you got to buy

this you know what i mean and then dude, dude, I don't agree with that. And I'm over it. And it's fucking wrong. It's wrong. You know, at some point, the greed has to be fucking exposed. And, you know, the good thing is, is all I'm doing is making people fucking raise their eyebrows and say, man, I wonder what he's talking about. Pay attention. Because this is what everybody does.

Everybody does this shit. And you wonder why I'm not speaking. That's why I'm not fucking speaking because there's very few opportunities to speak that aren't involved in situations like that, you know, and I'm tired of people using my name and my pool and my loyal following you guys to draw you guys in only to sell you guys other shit i'm not doing it anymore right you know what i mean you know ed and i do our own event and that's fine well that's what i was gonna say there's so much filth in the industry i fucking bring i'll i'll put a fucking event on that's that's only one day long that you'll learn fucking 20 fucking 200 x the shit that you're going to learn anywhere else. Okay. And not only that, you want it to buy nothing else. Right. You know, and I have real entrepreneurs teaching it and that's social media, fucking blue check, quote unquote, fucking celebrities. I'm talking about

real motherfuckers, people in our syndicate that fucking are actual entrepreneurs. Like, dude, that's what needs to, that's what the space needs to be. You know, I'm okay. I understand people making money and I understand, I am not against that. I love making money. I love it, but I love to do it the right way. You know what I mean? Like if I, if you come to my event and I teach you enough shit and you go out and make money and I made a little bit of money from the event. That's fair because I'm offering you shit that

you could go use. But like, if I were just, if you were just to come to an event and me just, you know, say, Oh, well to really learn this, you got to do this and give me fucking 20 more grand. Dude, it ain't right. Yeah. And, and, uh, and you know, I do believe that the education system is changing. Uh, I believe a reckoning, I do believe that the education system is changing. Uh, I believe a reckoning is coming for people that fucking operate that way. Um, I mean, imagine going to school, dude, and you pay fucking, you know, $15,000, 20,000 a semester. Okay. Which is fucking less than some of these events costs, by the way. And you go there and in every single class, the teacher says, all right, I'm going to stand up here and talk for an hour, and at the end of the hour,

I'm going to charge you another 15 grand if you really want to fucking learn. It's laughable. It's laughable. And people don't realize what's happening when they go to these things. It's not about helping anyone. It's about fucking money.

Right. And dude, that goes against my core value beliefs I believe that moving forward I believe that events that are going to operate that way are going to go fucking by the wayside and people are people are starting to see through what's actually going on okay and they're starting to make sense of what's actually going on and Okay. And they're starting to make sense of what's actually going on. And I believe that, you know, and some of you influencers out there need to fucking listen to this because I'm rarely wrong about things like this, but I believe that people are getting smart and I believe people want real value and I believe people are going to gravitate towards that.

And I think that, you know, anybody who does what I'm talking about is going to be weeded out over the course of time. They might make a few bucks today. They might make a few bucks tomorrow and they might make a few bucks next year. But eventually this, this revolution is going to happen. And if you're not providing actual content and if you actually haven't done it, you're not going to have a place on that stage. You know what I'm saying? I believe that. And I think it's true. And I think it's happening. And if you want to be the person who tries to sell info products or tries to sell courses or tries to sell events, number one, you better have done that shit yourself because people are sick of the nonsense. They're sick of the 19, 20 to 25 year old kid who's never built a fucking company talking about how they are going to show you how

to do X, Y, Z. People are smarter than that. And whatever fucking money you're making off of that right now, it's going to stop. Right. Okay. So one, you better have done it. And two, if you are going to offer those kinds of things, you're going to have to deliver real value. So you're going to have to be qualified and you're going to have to know what the fuck you're talking about. And I think that you're going to see a revolution of that. And I can tell you right now, uh, Ed and I, my let, we are committed to making that happen. Bottom line. You know, I spoke at fucking 10 events last year that were fucking total pitch fest bullshit events. You know, by the end of the year, I had already committed all these things or I had to do them. By the end of the year, I was so disgusted at the last, the one of the last events I spoke at, dude, I almost threw up

afterwards because I felt so guilty about what was going on. You know what I mean? I remember I went back to my hotel room. I had everybody calling me and texting me and saying, dude, let's go hang out. I was so sick to my stomach that I called the pilot and I said, I'm supposed to leave in two days. I called my pilot and I said, hey, I want to leave right now. And we were gone in an hour. I went home. It made me sick. And I know you did because you came home and talked about it. Yeah, and I'm just not going to be a part of that. I'm just not. There's another aspect of this too, man.

And we kind of discovered this when you started. So that's why I'm getting so mad. Yeah, no, I get it. It makes sense. It's a good thing to get mad about. But something else that we discovered when you guys started. And by the way, Vaughn, it's not hating. No.

I'm not hating. I'm telling the fucking truth. Oh, absolutely no absolutely right there's a big difference between hating and telling the truth all right a lot of people you know who do this shit have reached out to me and be like why are you hating on my hustle why because you're not hustling you're cheating you're scamming you're taking advantage and I do not fucking agree with that okay I've never done that in my life I've never done that in my life. I've never fucking, I've never built a dollar off of taking advantage of somebody. In fact, dude, I think we're the only company on earth that offers 110% money back guarantee

on their products. You know what I'm saying? Like, dude, if it didn't help you, fuck, I'll give you your money back plus 10%. I personally believe that that's how business should be done. That's it. If you don't offer real value, you should not feel good about taking somebody's money. And that seems to be, you know, when you're young and you're hungry and you don't have any money, you want the money so bad, you're willing to bend your integrity. But the problem with that is, is that long-term people remember that you bet your integrity.

So you have a hard time coming back from that. Absolutely, especially in today's day and age. And dude, you're also short-sighted from an economical standpoint. There's not enough fucking people in this world that you're going to be able to get in front of that are going to be able to recycle customers. Customers are too interconnected now. And this is a fundamental aspect of your business that you need to think about and your integrity that you need to think about. People are instantly connected now. So

whereas 20 years ago, these fucking scammers could get away with doing seminar after seminar after seminar, and that could be their career. They could do one every fucking week all week all across the country now if you do that and you're not selling real shit guess what everybody knows after two weeks so you're done so some of these guys who are out there doing this shit it's just a matter of time before everybody just starts piling on and saying dude that guy's done absolutely and you're done yep you. You know? And so it's, it's just old school mentality. And the reality is, is that this, this economy, this way of doing business, uh, this culture will not tolerate that. It's bad business. We won't, we will not tolerate it. You know, you have to go to an event and walk away and say, holy shit, that was the best

event I've ever been to. It changed my life. You know what I mean? Yeah. It has to deliver that much value or it's not going to work. Yep. You know, people can talk about Tony Robbins all they want, but I don't fucking know many people that have gone to a Tony Robbins event that don't walk out saying, holy shit, dude,

that was amazing. Even though it is kind of cheesy and it is kind of fluffy and it is kind of hokey, he's got his way of touching people for real. And the people who go expect that. That's right. Yeah, that's right. And like, dude, I'm not talking bad. I love Tony Robbins, dude. He is, fuck, I would not be here without him. Like, so the last thing I want to come across is like, I'm knocking what he does. It's just a different style and he's very good at it. And you know what? It truly helps people, which is why Tony Robbins does whatever, $500 million a year in product. Because it's real shit. You know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. Well, we know this because when you started the,

here's another aspect of this. When you started the Arte Syndicate and we got these, you know, 10,000 applications, there were certain people who contacted us who said, I can't afford it, but I found out recently that they have something called self-development loans. There are actually banks or there are actually entities out there now that are saying, we'll give you a loan for self-development. And they're just exorbitant interest rates, right? Well, but I remember we were talking about this and I remember

you basically told certain people, listen, if you can't afford this, we don't want you going into debt for this. That's right. I had people,

I don't remember that self-development loan shit, but I was probably zoned out. I think Ed and I were talking about it. There was some lady that told him, I'm going to take

a self-development loan. I do remember that lady. We told her no. Yeah, we told her no. We said no. Because we were like, no, you're not going into debt self-development. We told her no. Yeah, we told her no. We said no. Because we're like, no, you're not going into depth with this. I think we told her she needed to go to the accelerator because it was cheaper.

But the point is that, dude, and you'll talk to very few people in our group that, I mean, I don't think we'll talk to anybody that is going to say, fuck, it's amazing. Oh, absolutely. But they could all afford it. Yeah. Because they work to that level. Yeah, but dude, we could have signed up all 10,000 and took all their fucking money. Right.

What is that? 10,000 at 300 bucks a month? It's fucking whatever. A lot. What is it? Well, I don't know. 10,000 times 300 is- Calculate that, Tyler.

300,000, right? 300,000. A month. Yeah, it's 300,000 a month. No, no, no. It's more than that. It's 3 million a month. All right, I'm going to do it right? $300,000. A month. Yeah, it's $300,000 a month. No, no, no. It's more than that. It's $3 million a month. All right, I'm going to do it right now.

I'm not good at math. I am, however, a writing genius. But hold on a second. Okay, we're all going to do this. Some of you... It's $3 million a month. $3 million a month. Right.

Okay, so... That we fucking turned down over what was the right thing to do. Right. You know? It's... I don't know, man. There's not, you know, my fucking integrity and my self-esteem, my confidence and my conscious is not for sale. It's just not. There's no amount of money that's worth it.

I want to be able to sleep at night. You know, I live an extravagant lifestyle. I love cars. I love cars. I love planes. I love cool shit, but I don't want to be the guy who looks at all that shit and feels bad about how I got it. You know, Gary Vaynerchuk says, says a very true thing that it's hard to understand. It's young. And he says, how you make your money is more important than how much you make. And dude, it's fucking true. It's true. You know, I could have started a porno site when I was fucking 19 years old and been

rich as fuck by the time I was 23. Right. You know what I mean? And I thought about it to be completely honest, but I was like, but I, I swear to God, I talked to my dad.

I said, dad, I'm going to start this website. And he's like, he's like, look, he's like, I know that you can make a lot of money,

but you don't want to be known as that guy. And you don't want to be, you don't want to go to business functions and this and that and be the porno guy. Right. You know, and he's right, man. Yeah. You know, but I, I'm lucky enough to have somebody who had a moral compass. Who was there to guide me.

Right. Because when you're young, you don't really, because you're starving, dude. You're like, fuck, I just want to make it. You know what I mean? Right. It ties into what we talked about the other day about these younger guys using the tools available to them to actually create income to roll into a real brand versus just like right you know making the money and

going out and buying fucking gucci's and fucking supreme backpacks you know what you have a cool hair you your point to me it's a lose-lose situation if you do that. Wait, don't you have a Supreme backpack? Not anymore, I don't think. Don't you have Gucci shoes? They were a gift from you, thank you. Don't you have cool hair? I did feel personally attacked just now.

Damn, dude. Damn. No, but if you do the kind of thing that you just said. In all defense, dude, I did give Tyler his Gucci shoes. I like Gucci shoes. Yeah, man. Hey, Gucci flip flops. They're slides.

Yeah. Dude, I like the Gucci flip flops just because of that song that Future had. You know what song I'm talking about? How's it go? Fuck, I don't even know. I fucked your bitch in my Gucci flip flops. Dude, that line makes me laugh so fucking hard. After I heard that line,

I'm like, dude, I'm getting some Gucci flip flops. So it's a lose-lose situation if you earn your money the wrong way because if you do keep a conscience about it, you're going to be miserable. You're going to live with guilt. But here's the other side of it, Andy. You can actually sear your conscience

where you don't feel it anyway. And what kind of person do you become? If you no longer feel- A soulless, a soulless, miserable- A soulless sociopath who literally exists to sell. To sell, to sell, to sell, to make money. And that's why you exist. So it's a lose-lose situation.

I'll be honest. That would suck. It would suck. No matter how much money you made. It would suck. Yeah. Because everybody would see you and look money you made it would suck yeah because everybody would see you and look at you and know that you were a joke know that you know yeah you

would become when you fucking when you when you do wake up from that you're gonna look at yourself in the mirror and hate what you see yeah and not everybody wakes up but people do yeah you know what i mean i don't know man it is tough i'm just i just i just see a lot of people going about this the wrong way right now because of the tools that are available you know what i mean and uh i think a lot of people in 15 years are a not going to have an opportunity because they ran their own brand through the mud and nobody's going to trust them b um if they do make a little bit of money they're gonna feel real shitty about how they made it uh c you're you're gonna be jump you know it's just like we talked about the other podcast you're gonna be chasing the cheese you know one cheese to another cheese to another cheese and eventually

that fucking mousetrap is gonna smack down your head and you're gonna be dead right not only that but they're missing out on one of the coolest experiences ever in building a brand dude which what which did i not say this in our meeting the other day the one we had over next door what did i say i said dude the best part about this company is coming to work every day it's having to come to work every day you know we're all friends we all have fun like i would be so unfulfilled if i didn't get to come here and and dude I asked that in our meeting the other day and I didn't make anybody raise their hands because I didn't you know obviously if I say it they're gonna say yeah but like I could see it on their faces they were like excited they're like yeah dude this is this is awesome you know and uh we were talking when we're talking about last

night in the media room I thank you for having the meeting too yeah like yeah we were talking about it but when we talked about last night in the media room? Yeah, we had just made your Lamborghini video. Oh, that was two nights ago. Yeah, two nights ago. But yeah, you would just say- Me, you, and Alex were talking. Yeah, you were just sitting there and he just randomly looks up and he goes, fuck, I love

coming to work here. Yeah, it's like not even having a fucking job. And then Tyler's like, well, I have a fucking job. Well, I have to say at this point in the year, it would be a lot more fulfilling if we were in, like, Austin or Phoenix because being in St. Louis right now just sucks. God, you are such a whiner. Dude, I'm sorry. You're a whiner.

It sucks. You live fucking 40 miles away from anything cool. Like, why do you? That'd be like saying Chicago sucks, but living like. Yeah, but my mom lives out there. We got to take care of her. She's by herself. I'm stuck. So move her along. Yeah, that's mom lives out there. We got to take care of her. She's by herself. I'm stuck.

So move her along. Yeah, that's true. Probably could. Move her in. Yeah. Dude, you need to be in a good area, like close in, like where we are. You would love it. Yeah.

I know. I've been told. You told me that I would prefer Kirkwood because- You would. I believe the exact- Kirkwood's a- I believe the exact words were, you could hang out with all the other latte drinking nerds.

Hey, I hang out in Kirkwood other latte drinking nerds hey i hang out in kirkwood i don't drink fucking latte dude listen somebody's gotta leave these nerds all right that's great yeah no dude i love kirkwood it's my favorite fucking area of st louis yeah i mean that's where that's where billy g's is that's where my home base is i live one literally one street over from being in Kirkwood. Well, for the time being. You like it because it's got kind of... It's got a small town feel.

Well, yeah, but it's also, it has a little bit of money too. So it still has a little bit of the success. And then also it has that down to earth feel to it. Yeah, it's like, it's not like... It's not pompous-y. No, exactly. But it's still clean. Yes.

That's exactly what I'm trying to say. For sure. It's just a good area, dude. I'm telling you that's where you should be living. I know. You're probably right. It suits you. You're probably right.

I like that area. I like it a lot. Actually, that Mexican restaurant down in Kirkland. Amigos? Yeah. It's the best Mexican restaurant in St. Louis. Hands down. Yeah.

Easily. Absolutely. The only problem is they don't sell our tequila there. Oh. Most of these people listening don't even know that we have tequila. Una Vida. Una Vida tequila. The best tequila in the world.

Not my words. The Tequila Association's words. Are you looking for social media influencers? I will be in the future. We're only sold and we're only distributed in like five States right now. We're going to talk about that next week, by the way, guys. Oh yeah. Social media influencers. Dude, that's going to be a great podcast because like a lot of the people right now listening, they want to know how to build their influence and how to become a social media influencer,

if not just for their own business, but for them for, paid to post. And so next week, we're going to talk about step by step how to be successful in social media as an influencer from here on out, not from we're going to cover what worked up until now and what's going to work for the next three or four years, which I'm excited to do because I feel like a lot of people right now are really confused about where to go on social. You know what I mean? Yeah. Anyway. So I'm going to tell a story to transition us into our actual topic. That's your job. You're like letting this rambling go away and fuck on. Sorry guys, but you know.

Your job is to transition and keep me from talking too much. Yeah. And you are doing a terrible job today. I'm doing a terrible job. So when I was still in college and I was studying, I thought that I was going to be a pastor and I was getting ready to be a pastor, going to seminary and everything. We had a special speaker come to our church, excuse me, come to our school. And it was a very, very famous preacher. His name was Chuck Swindoll. And so he preached, he had a great message. And then afterwards, you could go up and you could talk to him.

And there was this huge line of students. And it was just going so freaking slow. It just like literally seemed to just bog by. And I kept on thinking, come on, come on, let's get on with it, get on with it. Got really impatient. When I got up to the line to talk to him, he looked at me, starts talking. I start engaging him. And literally, it's almost like nobody else is there. And it was such a profound experience. Like literally, he was so locked in on me. I'll never forget it. Like the way that he asked questions, the way that

he drew out my interests in life. It was crazy. I mean, it was like a sorcerer level interpersonal skill. And that's what I wanted to talk about today because I think you are really good at that. You don't like to go surfacy with people. You like to go, you know, really lock in, go deep, see, you know, draw them out. So I thought what we would talk about since this is a Sunday sermon is if you want to make an impact on people, you got to learn how to listen. Yeah got to learn that art well here's how I look at it goes along what we talked about just five minutes ago or whatever for look man I look at it like this like if you're paying to come see me if you pay to come see me speak and I get paid well to come to speak right I'm there mostly you guys know that um very well uh my job is to serve those

people you know what i mean so i feel like when we do and it sucks too man and tyler's been to literally every event that i've ever spoke at dude i get mobbed and and a lot of times i have to leave without talking to anybody because we're going to something else we're doing this and that makes me feel fucking horrible. Right. There's another reason why I don't like the way traditional events are set up. But I feel like, dude, if these people paid, you know, 500, 5000, whatever the ticket price is, dude, it's my job to care when they're when they're telling me something or asking me something. You know, and I just take that real serious. I don't take it as like, Oh, I'm a big shot and

let me fucking blow you off. You know, I, I value what they have to say because dude, that's why I'm there. I'm there to help them. Well, dude, that last summer when you guys had that event in Kansas city where you started leaving and then you came back because you realized that there was a kid waiting for you that you had not got a chance to talk to. Dude, I got, that was awesome. That was awesome. And that, I ended up hanging out with that kid later on in the day because he just found out that I was going to be at another restaurant and he was just beaming. He was like, man, I couldn't believe he did that. That's never, you know, but that's the kind of thing that affects people. And we should all be like that be like that well dude you don't have to be some sort of multi-millionaire public speaker to

be able to do that that's right you know dude totally totally you know and um if you're asking like how to do that i guess what are we talking about let's let's let's talk about like a lot of people hear the thing of you know know, to be a good listener, you have to ask really good questions. A lot of people don't know what that means. Like they don't even know the art of asking questions, of drawing people out. So what kinds of questions would you say are good for like really starting to draw people out, starting to establish that rapport to where when you're done with that conversation, they're going to walk away and just be like, you know, Tommy boy,

I've experienced a lot of things in my life, but that was awesome. You know, I think that you have to understand something up front is that people like to talk. They don't, you have to know your role, right? Like if you've just got done putting on a, and this is not for just speaking, this is for sales or anything people want to, this is for dates. If you're on a date, the other person wants to talk, trust me. Okay. Um, so the one thing I try to do, and I've always tried to teach our team is, is to ask open ended questions, you know, not like, do you like French fries, but more like what kind of food do you like the most and let them talk and then you know that kind of tells you what they value what they like and it leads into other opportunities to ask oh well you know what i really like is is belgian waffles on a sunday morning with my wife

and my kids and that's my favorite thing yeah dude you know what i like that too a lot what kind of syrup do you like oh man i like blueberry, dude, you know what? I like that too a lot. What kind of syrup do you like? Oh man, I like blueberry. Yeah, dude, blueberry is good too. You know, like that kind of shit and reinforce what their beliefs are. Not disingenuous, but like, you know, if I really do like blueberry, I'll say I like blueberry, but if I don't and I prefer maple, I'd be like, yeah, dude, I used to like blueberry, but I like maple a lot more too. And you know what I like to do? I like for chocolate chips in there. Yeah, and it's amazing how quickly you can transition from that. Well, that's how you connect with people, bro. You know what I'm saying?

You start with the concrete, sort of the everyday things. And I know you've said you don't like small talk, but a little bit of small talk is obviously important. Well, it's only small talk if you don't care. Right. Well, that's true. You see what I'm saying? So it's only small talk if you don't care. And if you're actually'm saying so it's only small talk if you don't care and if you're actually trying to create an experience for someone you have to care

so like while it might say well the example i just gave might sound like i'm just going through some bullshit when you're actually engaged with someone you know i'm looking in the eye i'm i'm i'm actually asking them what the fuck they think, why they think that, and I'm giving them my feedback on what I think. And my feedback might not agree with what they think, but I still respect what they think. You see what I'm saying? Absolutely. So people don't understand that to create real rapport, you don't have to reinforce everything they believe. You've just got to hear it and then let them hear you. And then the connection happens. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. So I think one of the worst things you can ask somebody that we ask everybody on a day-to-day basis is, have you had a good day?

Dude, I was just actually thinking of that. Like, cause that's what people say, right? Right. Oh, how was your day? Yeah. Like get the fuck out of here with that yeah it's fine but the reason people are okay with asking how was your day is because they don't give a fuck about the answer yeah if they really cared they'd say hey dude tell me about the best part of your day absolutely right and then if the person said something like oh man it was cool i got to go to the dinner with my mom and i hung out and we went shopping and we had a great time. You already know that that person values family above everything else because of the way they answer the question. Because that's what they chose to share. Exactly. So you could tell so much more about people when you actually ask real questions versus, because like, dude, when you say, how was your day? And they say, fine, you just missed out

on a huge opportunity to learn. Right. Because you're selfish and you want to move through the conversation. You know, if they say, oh, dude, it was great. I got to go to the gym. I got to train legs. I fucking killed my workout. You know what that person's priorities are automatically.

You've also opened up a whole opportunity to talk about any number of things related to fitness. Yeah. You know know they've given you key clues on how to bond with them yes and people get so in a hurry to get to the sale or whatever the ask is right at the end of the conversation that they just rip through this shit quick and they miss these opportunities to truly connect with someone and then when you get when you get the sale at the end the person might buy but they're not buying again and they're not saying man I just had the most amazing experience with this dude Andy Frisella I waited in line for two hours to talk to him

and he took 20 minutes to talk to me and he got to know me he was dude he was way fucking cooler than I thought he was going to be and you're passing up that opportunity because you're so quick to just move through people you know and this goes with any conversation dude we have this event here summer smash for first form i literally have to stand in the same fucking spot for nine or ten hours at a time it's crazy no no nine or ten hours i know in a fucking two foot circle okay it's 110 degrees out when we do that event all right it is not it's not easy to do it is fucking hard and it is tiring and it is exhausting but you know what i respect the fact that those people spent their time and their money

to travel here and to buy the tickets and to support the company when i get tired when i get frustrated when i get thirsty when i get sweaty i don't get quicker you know what i'm saying right like i still give everybody the opportunity to connect because they deserve it absolutely they just spent fucking two grand and their summer days off and some of their family vacation to come visit me and see me and see our company and see the team, they deserve that respect. And that's how I see it. You know, so it's really come, dude, the baseline is, is that you have to care first before people are going to give a fuck about what it is you're trying to sell them. You know what I mean? And when, and the cool the cool thing is is like when you really connect with people I mean how many people do we see Tyler that say to say this

shit dude I love first form the only way I fucking tried first form was because I loved your podcast and then I tried the company I mean it's literally nowadays it's probably closer to 50 percent yeah it's it's it's a huge driver for, but not because I get on here and I say, how many times have I said in the last four years about products that we have or this or that? None. Like I might mention, like today I mentioned the one product, but I didn't say what his name was. I didn't tell people to go buy it because I don't have to. Right. Because I care about these people.

And you know what? They care back. And when you care and they care back, you have a mutually beneficial relationship. You know what I mean? Absolutely. And most people are so hungry to get to the sale. Right. That they skip the important part, which is the person. And I'm glad you said sale because people might be thinking, well, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Are we specifically talking about business? You're always selling because the heart of life is influencing others. You're always selling. But every conversation that you have is a sale of yourself. And if people buy you, they're going to buy your fucking product. Absolutely. And that's something that everybody, not everybody, but most of the people listening right now haven't connected that together yet.

Right. You know what I mean? Right. And we talk about this a lot. Dude, for example, let's just say you're a social media influencer. And let's say that you post something and somebody writes you a question and says, hey, what about this protein? And the person says, well, first of all, how much are you working out? How much cardio are you doing?

What's your diet like? What's your water intake? What's your rest? And they ask you all these questions and they have a conversation with you that will go. Now you're like, fuck, this person could have easily just told me where the protein was and I could have got it. You might even be kind of annoyed because you're like, fuck, all I want to know is where the protein is. But at the end of that conversation, you're like, fuck, this person cares. This person cares about me. All right. And that's important because it's not about the first sale. Dude, if you want to do the first sale and that's all you're worried about, go out and buy any of these sales motherfuckers courses and they'll show you how to get one sale. But what I'm showing you to get how to get and

what we're talking about right now is how to create a lifetime of not just sales, but friends and advocates that will automatically put you in front of their friends just because you fucking care. Absolutely. You know, in one of the calls Ed was talking about, he has this camera guy that struggles with certain things, but the guy was recording Ed doing a presentation and Ed actually referred to the guy and referred to something good that the guy was good at. And he said that my cameraman actually got emotional. And he said the point that Ed was making to the RTA Accelerator people was the reason that the guy got emotional was that the things that I was saying about him was true. And I only knew it was true because I knew him really well. And so in this process of asking

questions about people, when you gain all this information about them, it makes you that much more equipped to say things that are meaningful to them. You know what I'm saying? Dude. And honestly, if we're talking about Ed, Ed is the master. He is the master. And dude, honestly, you're way better than me. I'm still trying to learn from you guys how to be better at this. Well, you're amazing at it. And I honestly, like I said about the- But it's practice. Yeah, it's practice.

We all have our different styles. Right. But I mean, I think just that other-centered approach, you know, like when you say- By the way, when Ed does that, he's being genuine. Oh, absolutely. It's not bullshit. It's not a sales technique.

He's just genuinely interested. Yeah, he is. I've never met someone at such a high level of success that he is that still truly cares as much as he does about every single person he meets. Absolutely. I've never met someone like that. I tell everybody that. I say of anybody I've ever met associated with you, he is hands down the most impressive, the most genuine. It's not

comparable. And it's not even close. But so let me back up just for a second, because I know when you were asking, you know, what's the best part of your day or asking questions that reveal value. I got to say that just as a small little tip, I think one of the best sort of two-part series to ask people about themselves, the first part is basically a one-word answer, but the second part delves a little deeper. And that is to say, hey, where are you from? And then they tell you where they're from. And then you say, what's your favorite thing about where you're from? Because that will reveal so much about that person. Because for one thing, most people, unless they had a really, really weird experience growing up, most people love where they're from,

and they take pride in where they're from. And so you'll get them starting to beam, and they'll say something like, oh man, I love it that I grew up in Kansas, and we have an amazing basketball tradition there. Or somebody might say, I grew up in St. Louis and St. Louis is known for the Cardinals or whatever. But it just, it shows, it gives people, once again, it gives you an opportunity to hear what's valuable to people, what they value. And people have such a tight connection between where they grew up and who they are that you really value people when you ask them about that. Absolutely. And whenever you ask them about that absolutely and whenever you ask them about that you find out about so many things that you probably had no clue even existed you know what

i mean right it's a truly interesting conversation yeah which which is what you have to have yeah so that's a great way to like skip all the bullshit and get to talking. And what I like about that idea and saying those questions is that it gets people to talk shit. All right? Like they'll fucking, you know, you get into like a basketball conversation or hockey or baseball or football and they talk a little shit. And dude, there's no quicker way to get rapport with someone

than to bust their balls a little bit about what it is they really like absolutely yeah that you know what's funny is i i i i'm just now as we're talking about it i do that every almost every time i meet someone yeah like the way i connect with them right away is i'll fucking make fun of them a little bit and then i'm like oh dude i'm just kidding you know that's fucking and like dude it's automatically they're like this guy's this guy's a genuine dude yeah but i just do it automatically. I don't even think about it. You're good at that though. Sometimes people try a swing on that and they're not real good. So like, if you're from this area, you know, and then you meet somebody who finds out you're from St. Louis

and I don't know how many times I've gotten like, Oh, Ferguson, huh? You guys are racist. Yeah. No shit. Yeah. No shit. Yeah. So be careful in how you clown on people because it can really backfire. But you're good at it, but you're right. It shows that you're able to poke fun and have fun with that. I just don't take myself too serious. Right.

I'm the first guy who'll make fun of me. You know what I mean? Right. And that's why making fun of me on the internet doesn't fucking work. No. Because I'm just like, yeah, no, you're right.

And then of course, then you, and then you shoot back at them and then they go, they get their feelings. Yeah. Right. Suddenly they're off of Instagram. I'm the king of shit talk.

I don't know where people, why people have, have, uh, I, I don't know why people have not recognized that yet. I'm the Floyd fucking Mayweather of the internet. Like you don't fuck with me,

dude, you're gonna get knocked out. Like if you want to fucking talk shit, there's a million other motherfuckers on the internet that talk shit and you'll probably win. You're going to lose every time with me. Yeah. Every fucking time.

Absolutely. So, okay. So you said, Oh, ask open ended questions. You said, ask questions that reveal what they value.

Okay. And use and kind of use the knowledge that you gain from that to then lead the conversation deeper into more rapport, more connection, more communication. And then what's, I don't know, what's something else? Like how to artfully and strategically use questions? I don't know. How do you do it? I think you're pretty good at it. Well, thanks, thanks man I would say when I'm good I'm good I would say honestly Vaughn I'm naturally

so used to doing this like you know when I was young and people would approach me like if I was when I was working retail I would think of it as like a script right and I was like alright I gotta say this I gotta touch on this I gotta do this and I would think of it as like this script right and i was like all right i gotta say this i gotta touch on this i gotta do

this and i i would think of it as like this orderly script and every single time that i thought of it like that it was awkward right it was weird it was like not it never went well robotic yeah it came became robotic repetitive and like it just was some shit i was saying right um. When I abandoned that and I just said, you know what? I'm going to actually try to like get to be friends with these people. Then all this stuff kept happening naturally. And that's where this, where my skills come from. So like, I haven't really ever analytically broke down how and why I do things. It's just something I picked up along the way in the retail business. And

that's why I like retail so much for young people right now. Like if you're a young man or young woman and you have a business that you're trying to start, you should go get a retail job to compliment that business so that you can learn the skills of interpersonal connection, because you're going to deal with all different kinds of people, all different races, all different, you know, backgrounds, socioeconomic, all different moods, which is a huge thing. Right. You get people who are crabby. You get people who are happy. You get people who are courteous.

You get people who are rude. But that teaches you how to react in those situations. And I think everybody who's starting in business should have to work retail for at least a couple of years because dude, it teaches you so much shit. Being personable. It's like going down the drain nowadays. Oh yeah. But that's why retail is so good. We've talked a lot about this and I hope you do at some point that you're going to do a full scale course on social skills and interpersonal communication because I think it's so value valuable dude what i really

want to do is a full-scale course on how to pick up chicks for these you know that would be awesome i'm serious that would seriously i'm serious i see some of these dudes and i'm just like what the fuck are you doing yeah not that i'm like you know the jesus of chick picking up him but i'm just saying like some of you guys need to fuck coaching man well so two things I would say one is that one thing that I think drives your ability to connect with people is that some people just listen for the sake of listening and I think you really do listen because you want to understand and it's a perfect case in point is that how many times is somebody in a conversation where somebody that something that they're saying, you know, you're nodding, you're saying,

oh, okay, yes, yes, yes. But you have no idea what the other person is saying. But just to be polite, you just say, you just say, oh, yeah, yeah. But when I've noticed when I talk to you, you're not like that. You're like, I have no idea what you just said. No, that. You're like, I have no idea what you just said. No, that's exactly right. I literally have no idea what you just said. So, so that's the thing is when I catch myself zoning out, I don't just go along with it.

Right. Because everybody zones out. We all have things on our mind. We all have shit going on in the back of our head and it's easy to zone out, especially when you're tired. And so when people do that to me, man, you know, this goes back to, you want to know why I do that? This goes back to when I was in fucking grade school. Okay.

And, and, uh, my mom, they owned a VCR. My mom and stepdad owned a VCR repair shop. And one day I was sick from school and I i went i had to go to the repair shop because and i'm talking a little rinky dink store the size of this room i mean it wasn't like this business it was like very very very lower you know it wasn't a successful business yeah um and they had an employee and i can't remember the employee's name but i was probably like in seven sixth grade or fifth grade or something and i went to the store and and i used to like you know how like uh macgyver was popular back then and like so dude

nothing's more nothing's more macgyver ish so for all young people macgyver was this dude who would like create shit out of nothing right but when you when you're a kid, there's nothing more MacGyver than the inside of a VCR. Oh yeah. All right. You're pulling this shit apart and you're like trying to make, cause there's all these cool parts in there, like pulleys and like weird shit. Yeah. And you're pulling. Just to clarify for a little bit more information for kids who don't know, literally this is like a secret agent who'd be in a room with like a piece of bread, a dumbbell, and a clock and make a thermonuclear bomb out of it. Right.

Yeah. He's a genius. Right. So I used to like playing with the broken VCRs and thinking I was going to build some sort of fucking robot out of this shit, you know? And I never built anything cool but i you know it's just something i like to do i always like tinkering with stuff right and uh the the employee that was there he's like aren't you supposed to be in school

and and uh this guy probably got paid minimum wage you know and i said yeah i said but i don't like going to school and there was this kid who was like two years older than us who had flunked like two times and he was big and he always picked on me. And I said, and I still remember the kid's name. I'm not going to say it, but I remember telling him like, yeah, but there's this kid. He's flunked two times because he's too fucking stupid.

And he picks on me. And so I didn't want to go to school and he goes he goes yeah but what if he's at school today he learned something that actually makes him not stupid and you don't learn it because you're not at school and dude i remember him saying that like he didn't say it like to to make me feel bad he was just kind of making a point and dude that stuck with me so like so my whole life when i do that when I zone out when people are talking to me I always remember him telling me that yeah when I was in sixth grade because I'm like well what if they just said something that would actually change the way

that I think or the way that I operate or could fundamentally change who I was that's how I think of it right so that's why whenever like you say something to me, um, and I'm zoned out, I'll just call myself out and be like, look, I don't, I didn't hear a word you were saying cause I was thinking about something else. Tell me what you just said again.

Right. Or, or frankly, I didn't do a good job of explaining it. So you just have to say, I'm sorry, I'm not following you. And I think people really,

really appreciate honesty. Like to say, Hey man, it's late in the day. I'm, I'm zonked. I was zoned out. I'm zoned out. Can you please, I really want to hear what you're having to say. Can you, can you please repeat it? Yes. You know? Yeah. I mean, it's amazing how people are not willing to do that out of politeness, but in reality they're being rude because they're saying, I don't care what they're saying. I'm just listening. People that have ADD,

they use it as an excuse. Like, dude, Oh, I got ADD. My ADD's got the best of me. That's not an excuse. That's bullshit. Right. Okay? Anybody who's in entrepreneurship is going to develop some sort of fucking ADD. Yeah. All right?

So it's not an excuse. Another area that I struggled with, too, for a long time was remembering people's names. So, like, you know how, like, when you shake someone's hand and they're like, Hey, I'm Steve. And then there's Bob and then there's Billy. And then by the time you're done meeting them, you forgot their fucking names. So like one thing I do, one thing I do too, that I think will really help you guys with this is, uh, when I shake someone's hand, if I'm meeting them in a group, I'll, I'll be like, Steve, nice to meet you. Todd, nice to meet you. Billy, nice to meet you. And then I'll go back again and say, all right, Steve, Todd, Billy. And then I'll go, Billy, Todd, Steve.

And they'll all laugh. But really what I'm doing is just making sure I remember their fucking names. Yeah. You know what I mean? Okay. So I have kind of a bad confession to make. You ready? Well, aren't all confessions bad?

Well, I guess so. But so there's this ancient method of remembering names. It's called the memory palace. It's like back in the ancient Greece. And one of the things that they say is that you can remember things better if you have either an association of pain or sex. Like this is literally like the ancient... So every dude that you meet,

you imagine having sex with. No. That is what you just said. No, that's not what I'm saying. He literally just said exactly that. But the reality is- I remember because I'm associated with sex. I remember because I think about having sex with that man.

No, no, no. But the reality is they say that if you can associate something that really involves the senses, and usually that means pain or pleasure right they say you're more likely to remember that person so what you're saying is is when you meet dudes you're not saying when i mean man when he's stuck in my butt dude he imagines him doing some bdsm shit and sex that's how you remember them? No. Come on, man. No, no.

I remember you because I had a Brian choke me out once. This isn't a real confession unless you really confess. No, I am saying, though, that if you want to remember- You know, they make this butt cream called yummy. I'm going to get you some. Don't ask me how I fucking know that, by the way. See, I have completely, completely derailed myself here. Yes, you did.

No, but the point is that you're supposed to pick a feature about that person. Or when someone really impacts you. Yeah, right. Exactly. Like Bear. Yeah. Bear did impact me. Consult earlier podcast for that.

But no, you're supposed, like if they have red hair, you're supposed to associate that with something having sex with red hair. What? No, I'm serious. So now you want to have sex with Ronald McDonald? Ronald McDonald's definitely got a red muff. I'm doing a catastrophically bad job explaining this. So is he a natural redhead?

Heartbeat match the drapes? Holy cow, dude. This is supposed to be Sunday Sermon, Vaughn. No, I know, but I'm trying to, and this is just academic. I'm providing information from ancient Greek wisdom. But I'm telling you, look it up, guys. It's called Memory Palace.

It's basically saying if you can associate something with either pain or pleasure and have some image that you link with that person, you will be more likely to remember their name. I'm just telling you. That's just all I'm saying. Give me an example here, Ronald McDonald. I can't without, like, okay, so, no, I can't possibly. That's right. Yeah, I know. That's right, because you're going to sound real weird.

Yeah. But remembering people's names is very important. And to your point, if you take a moment to remind yourself when you're saying their name, you're more likely to remember it. Now, the other thing that's very powerful is eye contact, right? So there's no, when you're listening to somebody, but you're looking off into the netherworld, you're not going to exercise as much influence on people as if you're.

I feel like you got so weird that it just derailed the whole show. Like, cause now I'm thinking of you looking at Ronald McDonald in his eyes while you impact him. Squeezing his nose. Ronald, red nose. Well, I guarantee if you do that, you're not going to forget the dude's name is Ronald. That's fucking fact, dude.

Holy shit, man. Oh, my God. I'll probably regret. gonna forget the dude's name is ronald that's a fucking fact dude holy shit man oh my god i'll probably regret let's move on okay let's move on you're gonna get a bunch of ronald mcdonald's throwing away bro everybody go put french fries in this comment section dude bod's like all right let's play dress up. I'm the Hamburglar. No, there is a clown emoji. I'll be Grimace. It may go down as the most derailed five minutes of our podcast. Hey, does anybody know what the fuck Grimace is? What is Grimace? What is he, a gumdrop?

Oh. You know Grimace? He's the purple one. He's like a mushroom, isn't he? Dude, I think he's like a gumdrop or something. He's the top of a penis. What the fuck is wrong with you? All right, guys.

All right, we're done. Sunday sermon. Dude. Penis? Oh, my God. If anybody can know what- We are definitely editing this out. Hey, Google what is grimace on your phone there, Tyler.

I think we need to supply people with the actual answers. I apologize to all my friends. I went my whole childhood wondering what the fuck that was. Oh, yeah. Which is a big purple blob. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

Well, apparently you thought he was a penis. Does that look like the top of your penis? No, it looks like you might have caught something. Yeah, what the fuck, man? That's purple, too. All right. Dude, he's the fucking eggplant emoji. That's what I was about to say.

Oh, I'm sure you were. That is exactly what I was about to say. By the way, let's talk about this. I feel like people are misunderstanding the eggplant emoji. We're kind of off on a tangent. No, because some people think that the green part on the eggplant emoji is the tip, right? And other people think that the purple part is the tip. But I'm here to set the record straight that the purple part is the tip, right? And other people think that the purple part is the tip. But I'm here to set the record straight

that the purple part is the tip. The green part is not the tip. Right or wrong? I appreciate that. What do you think, Tyler? Is the green part the tip on the eggplant emoji or the purple part? I've always gone the way of the green. Pretty sure I've never used the green. The green was the tip on the eggplant emoji or the purple part uh i i'm i've always gone the way pretty sure i've never used the green green i'm pretty sure i've never used the eggplant emoji

in my entire life no i'm serious yeah you're a liar i don't know because dude when it's hard it points up so like on the emoji i mean it does look i've always thought it was the other way i don't know but the is the base usually you know what's sad about all this is that I started all of this. Unintentionally. But I started this entire, entire thing. If you really want to connect with people, you look them in the eye when you're impacted. So that they know you care. Wait, wait, wait.

All right. So Grimace, according to Wikipedia, he is a member of the Wumpus species. He's a Wumpus? He's a Wumpus with short arms and legs, which begs the question, what is a wumpus? Yeah. Grimace is McDonald's, right? Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. They honestly have no idea. Them little things were fries. Well, at any rate, ask questions. Ask open-ended questions. Ask questions that demonstrate value. Ask follow-ended questions ask questions that demonstrate value ask follow-up questions and don't just try to act like you understand what somebody's trying to say be very honest

be very authentic and don't rush through the process right and clarify too many people ask questions yeah and then they want to get to the next question without even like going into what they just asked i've listed some shitty ass podcasts like that dude like podcasts where you could tell they're interviewing people off a list of questions. Right. And it's just like, okay, what's that? And the guy answers, and the host goes, hmm, oh, God.

Also, one more thing, don't act like you know what you're talking about when you don't. Right. Well, yeah. That's fucking annoying. What if you always know what you're talking about? You know what's funny about that, too,

is I feel like the more successful someone is, the more they're willing to say, I don't really know that. But my friend knows that, or this knows that. Let's call this guy or let's text that guy. It's because they're secure. I don't know. What else, dude?

What are we talking about? Okay. Well, I think... I mean, basic shit, obviously, too. Yeah, this is basic. But I mean, just the bottom line is that showing a real genuine interest in people and not faking it. That's the foundation.

Yeah. You could do all this stuff we're talking about. And if you don't have that, it won't work. That's the problem. You know, and that's where people, they've been told that though, right? Like if you go to any fucking sales course or summit or you're trained in most sales you get some fucking script here's the script okay and i understand that scripts are sometimes needed for people to comprehend the way a conversation should go but the goal isn't to

memorize the script right the goal is to understand the outline of the way it should go and then use your own tools to make that happen. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Absolutely. And I think that that's a, you know, if you really want to become great at making people feel amazing, AKA creating a great experience, AKA selling shit, if you don't care about them up front, you can go through all the techniques.

You can make eye contact. You could smile you can make good physical contact and do slap on the back or kinetic reinforcement or remember their names or all this other shit and it won't matter it'll still be fake absolutely you know what i mean and that's that's what's not taught and people are smarter now than they were 30 years ago it's just a fact do we have access to so much more transparency and so much more information that if you just try to do the way like some of these older books and these older things tell you to do it, you're going to look real silly because you're going to be this robotic thing. And let me tell you something, too.

When you're starting out, it's going to feel robotic. Like, let's say a couple of these people listening will take my advice and go get a retail job, which most of them won't because they think that they're too good for it. Right. But the people that do, because they're committed to getting better, the people that do, first of all, you should, second of all, good for you for doing it. Third of all, um, when you first do it, it's going to feel weird, man. Like it feels weird as fuck. Like I didn't step on a sales floor and be like the ultimate sales guy. I was fucking terrible for a number of reasons. One, I didn't care about the person. All I cared about was selling shit because I didn't have any money.

And because I didn't have any money, because I didn't have any money money was important and because money was important I cared about the money instead of the person you see what I mean so when I dumped that thinking because I got to a point where we were so far in business that I wasn't making any money and I started to realize that when I dumped that shit I'm like fuck it you know what I just want to help people and when I when I went that shit, I'm like, fuck it. You know what? I just want to help people. And when I, when I went to that mentality, you have to be interested in people to help them. Right. And this is how I learned this. It wasn't from some course or somebody telling me this. It was literally from going, if I had figured this out on day one of business versus date 10 years, year 10 in business, which is,

you know, if you go back and listen to other podcasts, that's what I tell you. The first 10 years of my business, I fucking was terrible. I was the epitome of someone who didn't care about people. I wasn't mean to people, but all I wanted to do was sell them shit. Right. And I remember, dude, I would make little games. I'm lucky I'm still in business in that way because of the way I handle myself. I wasn't immoral. I just didn't care about those people. I cared about what they bought, you know? And I guess that is a little bit immoral. Like now that I'm thinking about it, I used to play games with myself and be like, dude, I bet I can get this person to do this, this and this. Right. And you know what? I usually could, but they never came back and they certainly didn't get results. I'm not proud to say that. I'm telling you guys that because I fucked it up, you know, and it wasn't until I fucked it up so bad and we weren't making

any money to where I was a point where it was like, I either have to move on to something better that's going to make me money, or I'm going to have to reside myself to being broke. And, and what I thought about was the, the two or three or 10 success stories that I really loved. Like I thought about like, all right, I could go work construction. I could go do this. i could go work construction i could go do this i could go do that i could go clean carpets and i will make more money but i remember like the five or the ten people that i had really helped you know what i mean that really that really really i saved their life by helping them get back right um and how that made you feel yeah and i thought about it and that's what made me say, you know what?

Cause I always wanted to be rich, man. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it, it made me say to myself, you know what? Maybe I wasn't, and this is before I knew, before I believed that I was in control of my outcomes and things like that. I, I, I actually thought I'm like, all right, well, I guess I wasn't meant to be one of these wealthy people, but I got a pretty cool job where I get to help people do these amazing things. And so I said, and I remember talking to Chris about this. I said, dude, you know what? I think we should just do this. Even if we don't make that much money,

we'll be able to make enough money to live and it'll be fun and it'll be cool and we'll be able to make a difference. And dude, when I dump that, when I dump that into our, into our company, holy shit, dude, we grew five, we grew a hundred percent five years in a row and literally the worst economy that has ever existed in the United States. Like 2008. Yeah. Eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, a hundred percent a year.

Yeah. Eight, nine, 10, 11, 12. 100% a year. Yeah. Off of changing the fucking, the mentality of going from worrying about selling a bunch of shit to actually helping people get some sort of result and making sure that I did so in such a way that they couldn't help but tell other people about it. And the reason that they couldn't help and tell other people about it is because it was so fucking real and genuine that they had to tell people. Right. That's awesome. So that's what changed for me. And, and, um, and that's what I learned that, you know, we talk about this. Uh, I think the morality of money, I think we did a podcast on it or something like that. Now you're going old school. That's way old. Uh, but we talked about it, you know,

that's where I realized that all the shit that I had been taught, you know, about money being evil. If you make a lot of money, you're evil. You know, all that shit's bullshit, dude, in this day and age and in this fucking economy and the way information is shared and the connection and instant report, uh, the instant ability to connect with other people and for them to tell them about you and your business and their results and their experience with you. If you're making a lot of money right now and you're, there's a 98% chance that you're either a completely fucking screwing people, which means you're not going to make a lot of money longterm or B you, you are doing an amazing service for people that's actually changing them, actually benefiting them,

actually improving their existence, and actually solving a problem. And if that's you, you are going to continue to grow and flourish and you don't have to worry about competition. Absolutely. You know, and I want to touch on something. I said completely screwing people. Dude, there's a lot of ways to fucking do that right now. There's a lot of people doing it. Hey, here's this product.

And they, they sell them, they sell them the, you know, the quick fix, whatever the quick fix is, because people want that. And, uh, and then they deliver some bullshit and then people never buy from you again. And that's, you're able to do that right now. Short-term lots of people are doing it. Some big fucking names are doing it, but those people are not going to fucking sustain. They're not going to be here long-term. They're going to, they're going to make their money. They're going to get exposed. They're going to have backlash and they're going to be done. And I've seen that. We've seen it in business, man. We've seen it. It's not too hard. I can name a dozen people that I've seen that. We've seen it in business, man. We've seen it. It's not too hard. I can name a dozen people that I've seen that were on top of the world that aren't shit anymore because of that mentality.

And I'm seeing people who are even small that are making a great impact because they actually care. And those people, and this is what's great, they won't have to work for 19, 20 years or 15 years like I did to make a successful business because they have these tools now that could greatly accelerate their business. But what you have to understand is those same tools can kill you just as fast. And so it's always important to do what's right by people. And when you don't do what's right by people, you either got to fix it right away or you're going to suffer the consequences. And I actually like that. I think

it's the right way to be. That means your intention should always be on point. If your intention is, I'm going to fucking sell people this, and then I'm going to sell them that, and then I'm going to sell them this, and then I'm going to sell them that. Dude, your life cycle in business is going to be short. It's going to be short. And you might make a lot of money today. You might make a lot of money this year. You might even do it for a couple of years, but eventually word's going to get out and you're going to be done. But if you do it right, if you do it with integrity, if you're doing it the right way, the exact opposite will happen to you. People will talk good. People will spread the word. People will bring you other people and your business will grow just as fast. So, you know, if you're young right now and you're looking at like

Andy Frisella and you say, fuck dude, I want to be where he is or I want to be where Ed Milet is, but Ed Milet's 48 years old and Andy's's you know 39 or 38 you know these these things when you're 20 years old they you you're not going to have to put in the fucking 20 years because we didn't have these tools you know what i mean right absolutely so it's going to accelerate the amount of time so like you can't let the time really scare you from doing it because your time frame is going to be so much shorter than mine or so much shorter than ed's instead of 15 years it could be four years instead of 15 years it could be five years five years sounds like a long time but i'm gonna tell you right now five years goes by so fast you know you know this

absolutely and um and when you're 20 dude five years sounds like a fucking lifetime yeah you know but you're right it does go fast i feel like the last three years have just blown by just doing this is our fourth year yeah it's crazy um i'll tell you of all the great things that you said one thing that really struck out in my mind uh from you talking is the fact that once you decided to make it about helping people, once you decided to make it about doing the right thing, it was almost like you were infused with this near invulnerable sense of confidence. And what I want to say is that, you know, in this environment... Everybody, Vaughn, knows what's right and what's wrong.

Yeah. They know it. They can deny it, but they know it. That's right. You're right. But I think in this environment, first form, and you're a very strong personality. I'm not what I would call one of the alpha people around here. But one of the things that I've always told people is I said, you know what? I'm not afraid to talk to anybody.

I could talk to the president of the United States. I could talk to the waiter at the local bar. And sometimes you'll be talking to people about that, and they'll say, man, how do you get that self-confidence? And I think it's going exactly to what you're saying, which is really, you know what? The key to self-confidence is not focusing on yourself. The key to self-confidence in many cases is just putting the focus on other people and helping them and having nothing to hide, having no hidden agenda. It's your intent. Right.

And so by asking questions, by asking these open-ended questions, these questions that reveal value, these questions that help you understand where people are coming from and what they're all about, you're putting all the emphasis on that person. So you're not going to be self-conscious. you're not going to be self-conscious you're not going to be worried about oh what do they think about me and that gives you just this supreme confidence that makes you extremely attractive to people and extremely impactful but the pre the reason people the reason that you're able to connect with people that way is the intent is always morally in a good spot right right so so when your intent all right for example like this is and i'm just going to use this because i think a

lot of the men in this listening the podcast will i will get this you see an attractive female in the grocery store why are you afraid to talk to her the reason you're afraid to talk to her is because you fucking want something from her right which is sex right if you eliminated the idea that you want something from her and you just said dude i have a genuine compliment to give or i have a conversation to have, or you're just looking at that person as another human, that pressure is gone. All right. And the reason that you're nervous, the reason that you're scared, the reason that you have trouble making a sales call or talking to a good looking female or a good looking male for you girls, which is okay to go up to a guy as well. The reason that you're nervous is because your intent is in a place that you don't want

them to see. Right. Right. And when you don't want them to see your intent, now it's not genuine. And so you've got to like do this act. But if you know your intents right, the conversation is easy. Thousand percent. Yeah. You are so right. Yeah. Best way to increase your confidence is to adjust your agenda. That's right. Yep. Stop having an agenda. Stop having expectations. Stop needing to have, you know, what it is you think you want from that person. And how about this?

Get to know them. And I know a lot of you guys are thinking like, oh, dude, but that girl just puts me in the friend zone. Look, motherfucker, you're talking to the wrong chicks then. Right. You know what I'm saying? The reason you get in the friend zone is because you fucking go from being a normal person you don't treat them like a normal person you're treating them like you're putting them on some fucking pedestal pretend

that that girl is a fucking dude give her some shit make fun of her a little bit get to know her know what the fuck she's reading no know what she's doing in life. And stop thinking about just getting pussy. And guess what? You'll get some. You know what I'm saying? I knew that was coming. Like, it's just a hard thing. It's like, stop trying, stop expecting this shit from everybody.

Like, the reason that you're afraid to come talk to me in public is because you probably want something from me. You probably want some sort of information from me. Or you've got it in your head. Dude, if you just want to meet somebody and talk to them, it's not that fucking hard. The reason it's hard is because your intent is not aligned with how it should be. Absolutely. You know?

And that's it. And dude, you want to accelerate that even more? You want to accelerate the dilution of your fear of talking to people? Make your intent of bringing value to that person. Now they have no reason. You have nothing to be afraid of. And not only do you have nothing to be afraid of, you have everything to gain because you know that your intent is to improve that person's life.

So now you have an obligation to talk to that person. Right. You see what I'm saying? People can tell when you want something from them. Dude, and honestly, people could tell when you're just there to help. Right. Right. Absolutely.

And along the lines of that relationship, just provide value without an agenda. And a lot of people think providing value is like, oh, well, I got to like tag them in my Instagram post or I got to. No, that's not what i'm saying man dude value could be anything i mean making someone laugh it could be right making someone feel good by telling them that they're you know you i really like your shoes or i really like your outfit or you look really nice hey i dude you want to learn how to how to communicate network dude listen you want to practice on how to get better at this? Go to your grocery store.

Every motherfucker that you see, find something that you think is positive about it. Walk up to them with no fucking expectation. Pay them a genuine compliment and then walk the fuck away. And you'll get good at this. You see what I'm saying? Absolutely. Like the old grandma with her, you know, hey, I really like your coat. It looks really nice.

You look really well put together. I just thought you should know that. And then walk away you know what i mean if you deliver it in a way that's not creepy and not weird if you're just kind of off off the cuff authentic people will value it if your intent is right yeah you will not ever be creepy right people will be like damn that's a really nice guy. Right. That's a cool guy. And you're going to stand out so much right now because people are stuck to their phones and this social media society and all this shit that they don't have those connections.

You know what I mean? So now you're in a situation where there's a huge advantage because you can stand out more. Yeah. So absolutely, man. How long are we at? Day and a half. Now you're in a situation where there's a huge advantage because you can stand out more. Yeah. Absolutely, man. How long are we at? Day and a half.

It's about an hour and 18. Oh, that's not too bad. Yeah, we better stop. Yeah, but we'll stop. I was thinking you were going to say an hour and 15. What do you want to close with? You're the pastor. You close a Sunday sermon. Well, I-

Do you remember her name? What? So let's review. Yeah. So we talked about... What did we talk about? We talked about Vaughn having sex with Ronald McDonald and making sure that when you have sex,

that it's painful and you look him in the eyes, right? That was the key point of this whole conversation. Look up Memory Palace and then you'll give me a little bit more credit. All right. What was the real review? No, I, excuse me. So just in terms of macro stuff, you know, align your intent, provide value. That'll give you great confidence, a great moral clarity. And then specifically, you just want to, you know, you want to ask open-ended questions. You want to ask questions that demonstrate value so that you can learn what matters to that person so that

you can treat them like they matter to you. And then asking follow-up questions that are for the purpose of clarifying so that you can comprehend, so that you can connect. And if you do that, you're really going to make an impact on people's lives. You're going to sell, you're going to make money, but you're also going to exercise tremendous influence, which will make you wildly successful. I think there's so many points in this podcast. And I'm not just saying, I don't say this about every podcast. But this is one that you need to go back and take notes through. Yeah, for sure.

For sure. So, guys, from the Ronald McDonald fucker and myself, happy Sunday sermon. We love you. We appreciate you. Thank you so much for making this podcast what it is. You know, we're one of the few podcasts that doesn't run ads and we don't market. And our success in this message has everything to do with you guys sharing it.

I appreciate that because it makes me extremely proud. It makes me know that a, uh, you guys are on the same page as us. B, um, you're paying the fee that we ask, which is if you have value in an episode, please share it. Um, but most of all, I think there's a lot of pride because it's like, dude, we're beating the shit out of people who spend millions of dollars a year in advertising

based off of what you guys are doing for us. And I just can't tell you what that means for us. So have a great Sunday. Genuine thank you from Vaughn, Tyler and I, and we'll see you this coming week.