REAL AF with Andy Frisella - SUNDAY SERMON: The Common Decency That Makes You An Uncommon Dominator, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO256

Episode Date: August 19, 2018

Whatever ever happened to common decency? There are things that everybody used to know & do...how to treat one another, how to talk to one another, how to be a good person..that hardly anyone knows & does anymore. That's the bad news. The good news is that if YOU know & do these things, you'll be rare. You'll stand out. Having good manners & being a decent person will help you dominate. 

If you want to make your dream become reality, the people that are running after that dream know they're going to have hard times. They keep on running because they're saying within themselves, I'm the one, I'm the one. No matter how bad it is or how bad it gets, I'm going to make it. What is up guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host, and this is the Sunday Sermon. I don't know what I'm doing on the intro. I'm still trying to work this out. Just bear with me. It's going to be rough for a while. That's all I got to tell you. I'm so used to that smooth intro on the other ones that... It's very smooth. Yeah. I don't know. I'll work it out, though. That's how things go. You're going to be rough.

You know what's funny, dude? That's why I never take down the first 100 know. I'll work it out, though. Yeah. You know, that's how things go. You're going to be rough. You know what's funny, dude? That's why I never take down the first couple, like the first 100 podcasts. I mean, because they're pretty rough. They are. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I sound geeky, and I don't, you know, I've completely grown out of that. Oh, yeah, totally.

Yeah. Totally. That was the old one. I've transcended to nerd. Yeah. Which is better, nerd or geek? I think they're kind of the same. Are they synonymous?

I don't know. When I think of nerd, I think of just a dude who dresses kind of out of style and is just kind of shy and into Dungeons and Dragons and shit like that. And then when I think of geek, I a dude like like staring at his computer screen with a white fucking shirt with a pocket protector oh you know so nerd is more like intellectual and geek is more technological that's i don't know that's how i think of it yeah i think maybe that's wrong i don't know you're probably right so we got sunday. Yes. Explain to people what the purpose of why we started doing this. Well, basically, we're already a hybrid podcast.

We talk a lot about business. We talk a lot about success, productivity, peak performance, that kind of thing. But a common theme throughout all of that is that who you are, your character qualities, is a massive, massive factor in that. So we decided to elaborate on specific issues of, for want of a better term, virtue and character and how being a good person could actually help you kill it in life. Yeah. Kind of like church for the real world. Right. So dude, before we get to this Sunday sermon, I have a serious question.

And Tyler, you're going to have to jump in on Vaughn's mic here. So, we were having a conversation earlier before the show about what movie fucked you up when you were a kid. Like, scared you. Like, and you said what? Well, we were talking about christine yeah the movie christine i said carrie right carrie is like the scariest one ever right yeah so what what tell them what you said to me like you woke up and yeah so i was i was you know i fell

asleep one night and the tv was on something like completely different like it was probably the mighty ducks or something i was probably watching the Mighty Ducks. Mighty Ducks was good shit. It is. It is. But anyway, when I woke up. Ducks fly together. Yeah, exactly. Literally when I woke up, it was the part where all the blood falls on Carrie and it was so freaky. It traumatized you. It totally traumatized me.

But you know, I think the reason that that's so creepy is because of the mixture of horror and her mom. Remember her mom's like super religious. Yeah. So it's kind of this spooky mixture of God. That movie never freaked me out man oh man like that it never scared me so tyler what movie when you were a kid that scared you you gotta say in the mic oh you're gonna act like nothing scared you you still get fucking scared like you're scared of females uh let's see dude i i watched i watched those really classic almost almost horror slash comedies like critters like critters critters dude critters

but i would watch it because it was such a it was such a corny that was one of those like movies like when you walk through the uh blockbuster or wherever it is where you run movies they had all the weird covers yeah and you like look at him he's like ah fuck that and go down go like somewhere else like dude i remember when you used to walk through the video store and you would see all the scary covers like dawn of the dead and like all that shit and dude critters had all them little fucking fuzzball look at things on the front of it dude i remember that oh yeah the thing with the thing with the critters movies is there was always kids in them, too, right? Yeah.

And they were always the same age as I was, so I was able to put myself in that situation very easily, so that's why it was kind of scary to me. Dude, what movie scared me, man, was... What were you talking about? Oh, Poltergeist. Yeah. Dude, so like... They're here.

Yeah, man. Like that part where the TV shoots the laser beam on the wall and burns the hole and the fucking- Dude, I could never like- Because if I was sleeping, I could never sleep with the TV on or have- Like I was afraid to look at the TV. And you know what show freaked me out, dude? What's that?

That fucking Unsolved Mysteries show. Oh, yeah. When I was a kid. And like now- My brother used to love that show. Dude, it's a good show, but it was scary. It was the music. Here's what's freaky about Poltergeist, and I'm actually not kidding.

This is one of my useless informations. Did you know that literally five to eight people died? Right after that. Right. Including that little girl. Yeah, the little girl died and everything. But hands down, to me, the freakiest thing I ever experienced as a little kid was, you probably don't, this is a little bit before your time.

There used to be a show on TV. It was a sci-fi show called Buck Rogers. And it was like Han Solo, only his name was Buck Rogers. Anyway, there was an episode where they had this space vampire called the Vorvon. Not like V-A-U-G-H-N, but V-O-R-V-O-N. Absolute, guys, look it up. Pack the motherfuckers up to listen to this podcast. V-a-u-g-h-n but v-o-r-v-o-n absolute guys look at the motherfuckers v-o-r-v-o-n think your name is v-o-n i know they're like hey tell v-o-n i said hi i'm like you know what's funny is that they always they always say it took me like two years to find your your ig because i've been searching v-o-n yeah dude so uh you know what So, you know what other movie had a bunch of people die while it was being filmed and

right after was Gladiator. Really? Yeah. A bunch of the people in Gladiator died right as it was filming and after. I saw that movie like 20 years after it came out. Are you serious? Yeah, I really did. It's probably one of the best movies ever.

It is. It's not Braveheart, but it's good. Oh, I don't know. It's pretty good. It is good. I don't know. They're definitely both of the same caliber, in my opinion. That's true. What are we talking about today? So today, the main thing that I think we need to talk about is the lack of common decency in the world, also known as manners, also known as courtesy. A lot of people get so focused on getting ahead and standing out, and they make it all about themselves.

And in that, I think a lot of people lose things that are considered and have been considered good manners and common decency for years, you know, for, for hundreds of years. Um, and I actually think that's a good thing because if you're truly looking to stand out, if you're truly looking to make a difference, having good manners and having common decency is an easy way to stand out, especially if you're under 30 right now, because it seems like people don't even have basic skills when it comes to that. And, you know, I think it comes down to what we talk about all the time is that, you know, a lot of people that try to succeed put themselves first. But the people who end up succeeding are the people who put everybody else first. And that's because it's rare. And that's because, you know, nobody else is doing it.

And, uh, today I think we should talk about a couple of points. Um, well, we're going to talk about a couple of points that can really help, uh, young people stand out amongst their peers right now, because these are things that have lost favor in society. So, you know, the first thing that I want to address with you guys is look, man, it's not cool to have bad manners and to have courtesy. You guys hear me cuss a lot and you guys probably think that I run around and treat people you know like shit but it's actually quite the opposite just because I speak a certain way doesn't mean that I don't treat people with respect and treat people with courtesy and these are all things that we're going to talk about that that I have found to be very effective in helping build solid relationships that have been very

beneficial for myself and the other person over the course of my life and business. Yep. Yep. And I think what people need to understand, I actually know of an individual in St. Louis who is a genius, who is very good at what she does, but she lacks such common decency that her whole career is tanked. So it's like, this is super, super practical. Oh yeah. Because dude, the bottom line is if people don't like you, they're not going to do business with you. And that reputation gets around fast. So these are basic things that someone can do and practice on a daily basis that will help you stand out and create a great reputation for yourself aside from being good in business. Because I think what you guys need to understand

is that reputation, great reputations in business start by having great reputations as people. Right. Okay. So that's what we're going to cover. We're going to cover, you know, five, six, seven points here that can really help you guys stand out um i'll let vaughn start with that well i want to start with just i just want to start with the story so my my wife and kids and i were at a local pizza place in st louis we have this place called mod pizza it's real good i enjoy it i don't know if you like mod but it's good i've been there yeah it's it's good stuff but uh i was leaning over to tell him what i wanted and the the guy, the kid who was, you know, couldn't have been 20, he goes, watch the hands, bro. And I was, at first I was like, what? And what he meant was,

you know, don't reach over the glass because it's, I guess it's a cleaning issue. Now, you know me, I'm not super confrontational, but like something just hit me about that. And I looked up at him and I said, did you mean, excuse me, sir, be careful. There's, you know, cleaning or clean cleanliness issues, not watch the hands, bro. But I feel like that's such a common mistake nowadays with people have no sense of how to address people who are older or in a different situation, life situation. Like we just don't know how to address people who are older or in a different situation, life situation. Like we just don't know how to give people respect. So I'm curious what you have to say about that. Well, I think that's, I think that comes from the internet. You know, there's, there's a way

that people talk on the internet and then you see these people talking in text whenever they talk to real people, like people fucking will say like, LOL to people. Like, like, it's like, what the fuck are you talking about you know it's just a total lack of basic communication skills and uh you know when you say i mean you just don't see people saying oh excuse me sir watch watch where you put your hands there because that's we've got to keep that clean right or you don't see that kind of courtesy it's like hey bro watch your hands that's the kind of shit that makes's like, hey bro, watch your hands. That's the kind of shit that makes you look like every other punk out there. You know what I mean?

Describe to me what you would do if you caught one of your employees saying that to a customer. They'd be fired immediately. My people know that before I put them into practice, before they get put into play. And dude, really you know, situational awareness. You know what I mean? You have to know when to address people as bro or when to address people as brother or when to address people as sir or ma'am. And I think that that education is not happening. You know, people are letting their kids be raised by television and Instagram and Facebook. And so what the fuck do you expect them to talk like? Right. You know what I mean? They don't know any better. And parents are becoming less and less

and less involved in their child's upbringings. I mean, you can't blame somebody who has never been taught any better. So what would you recommend for these people? Well, I would just say a general rule of thumb, and people may not think that it makes any sense, say a general rule of thumb and people may not you know think that it makes any sense but a general rule of thumb if is if someone is older than you like especially if they're significantly older than you show a little deference just show a little respect like just I think there is it's true that we should earn respect through our actions and we should be quality people but especially if you're dealing with senior citizens, show some respect.

They've lived life. They've been around. They've experienced things. I personally think as somebody who employs quite a lot of people, I could tell you right now, as weird as you might think that sounds in front of your homies or your boys, when someone addresses me like that, guess what? I fucking remember who they are.

Right. And I'm not a senior citizen. I'm fucking 39 years old. You know what I'm saying? I'm still pretty young, but I remember it. And if you want to stand out, you'll address people in a, in a positions of, of seniority or authority with the proper respect, because it'll get you further. And a lot of people be like, Oh, I'm not fucking doing that. They didn't earn my respect. Well, you know what? You could keep making no fucking money your whole life, right? You could keep being miserable your whole life. You could keep asking everybody what, you know, and blaming everybody. Everybody hates me. You know, the world's out to get, no, you're creating it by not

following basic things. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, think about if you met a young kid, I mean, when in doubt, like I said, always err on the side of maybe being a little too respectful or too polite. Like if you met a young kid who was 16 and he's like, yo, what's up, Andy? You wouldn't, you wouldn't necessarily be offended by that. But if he was like, hi, Mr. Frisella, it's really good to meet you. You'd be impressed by that. You'd be like, dude, that's that you can call me Andy, but I appreciate you giving me some respect. So I just think we should go out of our way to show people respect and if they want to dial it down a little bit and just say hey you can call me by my first name

that's fine you can always you can always you know make it more casual good manners never never go out of style man for sure you know what i mean sure so um i what i want i want because i know you've told your this story and this seems so basic, dude. It seems so basic, but I know that you've taught your guys in business how to do this. And to me, this is so fundamental to making a good impression. And it is polite. Walk people through how you actually introduce yourself and shake somebody's hand. Dude, this is funny because my dad used to preach to Sal and I about this. I mean, I'm talking when we were five, six years old. As soon as we were old enough to understand this concept, he would always say, like,

anytime we went anywhere where there was going to be anybody from his company or anybody that, you know, anybody really, like out that was going to be new but right before we walked in he would say this he would say hey when you meet these people you look them in the eye and you give them a firm handshake and you say nice to meet you got it and we'd be like yeah we got it he's like you got it and we'd be like yeah like he was serious about it you know what i mean right right and if we didn't do it dude we get our ass beat after the fucking event for real right so like my dad i mean this was from the time we were five six years old until we got it where it was just automatic and it it took us a while you know but by the time we were nine or

ten years old that was ingrained in us right and it's amazing to me that adult people don't understand that that's a huge deal when you meet someone. When you meet someone and you reach your hand out and you look at the floor and just shake their hand, that is not good enough. You have to shake their hand firmly, look them in the eye And not overly firmly, like crush their hand. Right. Because I've met with a lot of women who do this because they think that it's like a power thing. Right. Dude, that offends people.

When you overly shake their hand, it needs to just be- Right, that's a power play. Yes. Sure. And it's offensive. You just need to shake their hand firmly and say, nice to meet you. Look them right in the eye. And that's it.

And if you get a bad handshake, like it always happens once in a while, you get a bad handshake, right? You get like a limp wrist or like a dead fish handshake. You know what I do? Because it happens to everybody. You know, you grab the hand, it just doesn't work. What I do is I make a joke out of it. And I say, I say, Hey dude, that was not a good handshake. We can't start off like that. Let's do that again. And dude, you know what? It creates a bond with people. You know what I mean? It helps people, uh, you know, first of all, respect you. But second of all, know that you're, you're a cool dude. And like, you know, right. You have principles. This literally happened to me last week. That's why I'm smiling over here. Uh, I reached out my hand and he grabbed it, but this, this might sound stupid and simple,

but he grabbed like just my finger around your fingers yeah it was a firm handshake but i was like like we got we got done and i'm like dude no that makes my skin crawl dude i know yeah i'm like no we got to redo this yeah if i fucking did it again he's like yeah that feels better yeah dude well i know i know that people might say too that you know you know i'm not super confident so it's hard for me to look people in the eye and all that sort of stuff but it's a habit well and it's not so much confidence it's it's you're actually again paying respect and you're being polite because you're showing people that that they have your attention right and then when you do shake hands and it's not firm you're basically you're basically telegraphing the fact that you're not very

confident and if you're not very confident it makes the other person think well are you competent at anything why aren't you confident it also makes you think why is this dude fucking weird right right like this is a weird fucking dude but it's just like a really simple way to make a huge person to do the right thing and make a huge first impression absolutely dude when people shake my hand and it's weird like that and they don't like try to fix it like i I'll try to fix it. And then they're still weird. Like, I just, I can't mess with those people at all. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, so anyway, so here's, here's one that I, I, I know you believe very strongly in and I'm going to call it like, uh, taking responsibility for things that aren't necessarily your responsibility.

Okay. And so you use the example of, uh, the shopping cart, you know, so talk about that one. Cause there's a lot, cause there's a lot of different examples about how all of us could take responsibility for things that aren't really our responsibility, but still make the world a better place. Yeah. Two of our core, like two of our core values here at our companies are take initiative and accept responsibility. And that doesn't mean accept responsibility for just your stuff. It means accept responsibility to solve the problem and take initiative goes with that because it means if you see a problem, you fix it. And what you guys have to remember is that you, you are creating habits. When you do these things,

you're creating character traits and you're not just creating character traits for yourself. What about your kids that observe you doing these things? You know what I'm saying? There's a bigger ripple effect here in play than just like you being a good person. So you have to understand you need to create the habit of taking initiative to solve the problem and accept responsibility for all problems. And what that ultimately does is create tremendous value in you as a person. And I could always tell a lot about people by whether they leave their shopping cart out in the middle of the parking lot or not. And the truth is most people do leave it. They unload

their shit and they fucking put it, the shopping cart on one of the islands that's close to their car and they leave. And you know what? Usually driving off in a piece of shit car. And guess what? Those two things are related. Absolutely. And your whole shopping cart thing kind of inspired me.

There's two things that we try to do with our girls. And they're at the age that they're kind of confused because like when we go to a hotel, Lila's, she's almost five and she knows that there are people who come in after us and they clean up. But what I try to tell her is, is that it doesn't really matter. We're still going to clean up. We're not going to leave a mess for these people because it makes their job easier. And it's, there's no point in saying, well, it's not our place, so we won't clean it up. We'll just leave it trashed. what you think about that and then the other thing is we we actually when we go to parks and stuff if if we're at a picnic table and there's like some trash in

the ground we make them pick it up i mean we help them but you know but what what other little things like that would you say would be taking responsibility that people could just little things dude i think that it's everything it's when you see when you see something that's not right you fucking fix it whether it's your responsibility or not and when you just make everything your responsibility and that becomes a character trait of you you become valuable in your workplace environment and your relationships because you're the person who solves the problems and it's a habit that you create over time. But it starts with little things because most people will look at a shopping cart that they didn't leave in the parking lot and they will say,

oh, I didn't, it's on my cart. And they fucking walk off. But that's the same thing they do at work. And that's the same thing they do at home. And it's the same thing they do with their friends or with their spouse. They just say, ah, it's not my problem. And they fucking turn their head. And that's why they're average. That's why they're making $35,000 or $40,000 a year maximum for their whole entire life. That's why they sit on their fucking cooler in the front yard and they say, fuck man, life really fucked me. No, you're fucking you. Right. Absolutely. So we've been talking about little, little things you can do, you know, good deed type things. One thing that I got reminded of today that can really make you stand out is fucking good hygiene. I was in the fucking gym today and dude, this kid was talking to me and I swear to God, dude, I thought I was going to fucking pass out. Like I, it was his BO

was so fucking bad. Like, dude, how about you just take a fucking shower and put some fucking deodorant on? Right. That's basic shit. You know what I mean? Nobody wants to smell you. If you come to work smelling like shit in my work, I'm going to send you home. Right. I don't, I don't like people are like, well, how, how embarrassing is that to have to tell somebody that they smell? It's not for me. Nope. I don't care. Should be more embarrassing to them. Yeah. Yeah. I actually, one month there was a kid that was coming to our youth group when I was a youth pastor and same situation. He was just, he just smelled so bad. And I felt bad because he was kind of an awkward kid and he wanted to fit in. And I finally just pulled him aside and I

said, Hey, listen, dude, I want you to fit in. I want people to talk to you and you stink. Yeah. And like you literally stink. And he's like, Oh, I don't think it's that bad. I said, it is that bad. And I bought you some Axiodone body spray because at the time that was kind of popular for young kids. And, and he was just like, well, I don't know if I want to put that on. Cause I don't like the smell. And I'm like, are you serious? So I basically said, if you're going to, if you're going to hang out with us, you got to put it on. And so he did finally, finally do it, but it was just so bizarre. Oh, he was, he was a freshman freshman so his body was changing yeah he wasn't used to he wasn't used to like smelling that bad dude shower and fucking push his mom came to pick him up and i literally brush your fucking teeth

yeah exactly and his mom came to pick him up pick him up and i just said hey listen i know you want your kid to fit in he's not gonna fit in if he comes to if he comes to uh church and he's hanging out with the other kids and he stinks. Not only is it hurting you, it's rude to other people. But while we're on the subject, you're someone who you like to wear shorts, you like to wear a t-shirt. Wouldn't you agree, though, that there's a difference? Part of personal hygiene, it's fine to dress casually, but that doesn't mean dress sloppily. Listen, we dress casually here because I created that environment. Like I'm not the type that's going to wear a fucking suit to work and make everybody else wear a suit. Right. We're casual here. Okay. But there's plenty of times where I cannot be

casual and I have to wear a suit or jeans and a nice shirt or this or that. That's becoming situational awareness you know what i mean and right now you have a sit you have this thing where this big push for individuality out there in the world like show up looking like you know however the fuck what everybody thinks blah blah blah notice that anybody who says that is usually not very successful and there's a reason for that okay unless you're a fucking famous rapper or unless you're a famous Steve Jobs yeah or you're Bill Gates or Steve Jobs guess what you're gonna have to at least give some consideration to your environment right you know if you're Justin Bieber

and you want to walk in to a five-star restaurant on a business dinner with cut off shirt and sweat pants you're Justin Bieber and people probably say shit right you still look like a bum you would look a lot he would look a lot better if he fucking dressed nice right you know what i'm saying but those guys can get away with stuff that us regular people can't right you know so it's it's just it's interesting to me to watch the youth think that they can express themselves in that way in places of their employment and they think that it should be accepted that's not the way the world works yeah that's what the liberal population will tell you is okay but notice that most of the people telling you that are broke yeah yeah it's just the truth that's, that's a great point because that's, that's an example of this whole, do you do philosophy? Do you fuck what they think

takes? It goes too far. There are limits to that. Look, you know, I get it. You want to hang dress the way you want to dress when you're out in the world. You want to be, you know, fuck dude. I'm, I have a lot of tattoos. You want to get tattoos on your fucking face and look like, you know, whatever at your fucking work you're not going to have as many opportunities that's just the way it is you know and you need to fucking understand that before you go off on this big push for individuality there's times to be individual and there's times not to be right you know it's like those people who uh like they'll hear that you're talking at a high school or like a junior high and they're like how does that work

or like or people that are like dude is there cussing in your children's books what do you fuck you think dude it's situational awareness right like that's a whole nother thing like a lot of people here like they hear how i'd speak right and i'm speaking to you guys as friends i'm not speaking to you guys as you know elders or this or that but when i go speak to people who are elders or when i go speak to kids guess what the cursing gets turned off right okay i don't run through and say fuck what they think and you fucking kid like i don't do that like this is me talking to you like if we were sitting having a beer right that's the that's the context of this podcast okay but i know when to have it

on and when to have it off i'm not sitting at uh you know a funeral mf and everybody or saying f bombs or at a wedding or at fucking christmas dinner well maybe at christmas our christmas dinner but i'm just saying like there's you know there's this a lot of these things are getting lost with people you know where they think that it's cool to be like that all the time and you have to understand their situations and you have dude this is this is so common sense I'm sure a lot of people are like yeah no shit but look you should like you should see some of the people that I've seen come in here for interviews they come in here in their fucking workout clothes and you know, they're, they're dropping F bombs cause they know I own the company and they think that that's cool. And we're here. Guess what? You don't get fucking

hired. Right. You know what I mean? Absolutely. No, I mean you're, you're saying it is basic and it is basic, but sometimes people need to be reminded of things they already know. Yeah. Like a lot of people think like I'm not very professional. No, I'm very professional. Absolutely. I'm just not professional when I talk on this show because this is my show. Right. And guess what?

In my show- In my show, I can communicate to you guys however I want to communicate to you guys. And I think most of you appreciate it. Right, right. So I'm curious because, you know, I sometimes wonder, is this just me? Is this my background or everything

but something i struggle with dude and i'd love you to speak to this is speaking of common sense so like when the women go out to the club the club the club whatever the club the club wear whatever you want all right knock yourself out what I can't wrap my head around is the women that wear the exact same thing they would wear to the club and they go to church. Like, is that just me? Am I just overly conservative? Can I go to this church? Like, fuck, man. What the hell are they wearing?

No, dude. I mean talking about seriously, like, plunging neckline. Titties out. Extremely high. Say it. Titties out. No, dude. I mean talking about seriously like plunging neckline. Titties out. Extremely high. Say it. Titties out. No, I'm not going to say that. But it's just like seriously?

I mean are you trying to hit on Jesus? He wants to say titties out so bad. You know? But instead he's got to say plunging neckline. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But you know it's like they're trying to hit on Jesus. You know what I'm saying?

I don't get it. I really don't get it. Jesus is a good looking dude. Jesus got that long beard, right? He's got that beard. He's got long flowing hair. That shit's in style right now. That's true. Um, but no, it's just crazy. Jesus is the OG pimp. That is a first. I don't know that I've ever heard anybody describe it that way or describe him that way, but I don't know. It's just to your point though, it's just use your head, use your, use your, use your, I i mean it's hard to tell people to use common sense you don't have any common sense the way instagram has influenced society in general is

a lot of in a negative ways like like you know when you're speaking to like girls wearing whatever like it's just there's so many things to be said about that for for for men and women it's just it's but but you know what that's what creates the opportunity for what we're talking about it is because everybody's going one way and if you just kind of go back the other way and have some manners and some morals and some class, you're going to stand out. Yeah. You know? And I know we've been a little bit random going from one thing to the next. Hopefully, we've given you guys something to think about.

But what I would really like to— Well, dude, the theme of this show is have good manners. Right. Have some class. Have some respect. And you're going to stand out. Yeah. You're going to be noticed.

You're going to be remembered. Because most people around you don't have any of those things anymore. So practice them. Right. That's it. Right. So we talk basic stuff, hold the door open for people. You know what I mean? Put shopping carts away, wipe the piss off the toilet seat that somebody else did. When you leave the, when you leave the bathroom, okay. How the bathroom is how the bathroom is it like the person who walks in after you assumes you made it that way so like if you go in the bathroom and there's piss all over the seat and you just pee in the toilet and walk out and don't clean it up guess what the person behind you thinks they think you pissed all over the seat i don't want people thinking that about me no not at all yeah i think uh it would be great to wrap up just by saying, what are some things that are

issues of common decency that you think we've kind of lost that are ways that you could relate to somebody, maybe something you include in conversation that when you walk away, the person just feels really good about themselves? Well, make it about them. You know what I mean? I think it's so common right now for everybody to want to talk about what they're doing that when you just, and by the way, this is great for rapport building and sales. Yeah. It's a great habit to build.

Ask people about them and remember what they tell you. That's key. Yeah. Remember what they told you. Yeah. Isn't it awesome when you meet somebody from a week? Well, actually, I'll give you this example. I met a guy when I was kind of, so when you graduate from seminary and you're going to, at least in my situation,

when you graduate from seminary and you're going to go to, you know, you find a job at a church, you just go to different churches and you do what's called candidating, which is you basically preach a sermon, you do different things, and they try to decide if they want to hire you, right? It's kind of a weird system. But I met this guy, and he was telling me about this guy that he had talked to. And when he was talking to this guy, and he was a famous man, he said, when I was talking to him, he was so totally locked in on what I was saying. He said, and I told him that my brother Joe was struggling with some issues. I don't know, like he broke his leg or something.

And then I didn't say anything after that. Four years later, he ran into the same famous gentleman and that guy said... Sorry, he said? That was Tyler's phone. He said, this famous gentleman said, oh, good to see you again. I remember seeing you at the whatever pancake feed. And hey, did your brother Joe ever get over his bum leg? You know who that was? Who?

It was Bill Clinton. No way. It was Bill Clinton. And he said that, because this guy was, I actually went down to a church in Arkansas. I was going to Canada. A guy who meets literally, probably, literally two to 300 new people a day. Right. Now, granted, it is known that Bill Clinton has kind of a photographic memory, but other

people say, no, he's just spent his whole life mastering the art of connecting with people. Yeah. And you know why? Forget what you think about him politically. Bro, that's why people who, that's why even though he was a Democrat, Republicans still liked him. Oh, one of the most popular presidents in history. Same with Reagan.

Yeah. Democrats and Republicans both like Reagan because he treated them like with dignity. And that's a very practical. I totally agree with what you're saying. Remember something that somebody said. It's one of the most practical ways to create value, not just when you're meeting people, but in business too. Like if you're like working the retail floor or you're talking to somebody about making a sale, dude, you know, who's great at this and my let. Yeah, he is. And my let is

one of the best of what we're talking about that I've ever met. Like, dude, the guy remembers, the guy remembers shit that you'll never even remember. You said, I just told this to somebody else. Yeah. Like, like dude, yesterday we were talking on the phone and he brought up some stuff that I told him back in November. And I forgot that I even told him. But I told him because it was right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

He's just so good. And that's why he's built such a tremendous company. Yeah. You know what I mean? Agreed. And that's why he's so loved. Like, dude, when you meet him, dude, Ed does not talk about Ed. Ed talks about you.

Right. You know what I mean? 100%. I literally just told somebody about this the other day that I said, you know, in the course of doing the podcast, we've met a lot of really awesome people and they're all awesome. Yeah. But I said, Ed sticks out to me in that he is present to you and to me. Like, I'm the sidekick, you know?

Oh yeah. But he cares. But that's what I mean. Like you're the, you're the main attraction. You're, you're what everybody's here for, but he is so present to people regardless of who you are. And if people, that's a great point right there. So that's the point. That's the point. This does not count with just people that you need something or one of me or this or that. This should be like, we see that meme on the internet, treat the janitor with the same respect as a CEO. When you have a conversation with a homeless person, you should be still doing this. It should be a practice of

yours. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. Well, weren't you telling me the other day that you were at some, I don't know, this was like a couple months ago. Dude, you guys need to stop putting value on people based upon where they are in the food chain. Yeah, absolutely. That's a terrible habit. I may be remembering something from a year ago, but I thought you told me that you were on some high-level business meeting. I think it was like at your favorite steakhouse. And you walked away to go to the bathroom. And then when you came back, you noticed that the person that you were meeting with was really, really rude with the waiter. Yeah. I never did business with him. Yeah. I remember that. And I was like, that's huge. And it would have benefited me to do

business with him. Yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about and who it was. Yeah. And people just don't realize the value that they can provide to people if they, if they, if they are present to another person, regardless of the position that they hold in society dude i can't stand when people first of all you could see right through it yeah okay like i know when somebody's talking to me whether they're the kind of person who's just talking to me because they think i'm somebody that they want to network with or do something with or get something from versus they're just genuine you could just see it you know and it's arrogance amongst people who are, who are doing that because they think they, they, what they think on the inside is that they're smarter than everybody. It's like a, it's, it's, it's just easy to see. And you know, people in a high level

position, they didn't get there because they're stupid or because they're bad with people. They might act like they're bad with people. They act like they're bad with people they might pretend they're stupid but remember they're pretending to be stupid so that you'll fucking talk first right because the guy who talks first fucking loses right and that's it exactly so um so the rocket science and all this is you you finish it up you know what this is this is you man you're the fucking pastor right right well listen i am, certainly not an expert on being a decent person. Oh, shut the fuck up, dude. Come on.

We all have our demons, my friend. Yeah, I know. Yours is like Dungeons and Dragons. No, but, so be responsible. And plunging necklines. Be responsible, be polite, and make it about the other person. Yeah. You know?

And express. You do that, you're going to stand out. Have respect, common courtesy, do things that other people aren't willing to do in a decent way. Yeah. And you're going to stand out. Final thought is. Did you just say fuck?

No, I didn't. Yes, you did. No, I said fuck, fuck. No, no, no. Final thought. You better not edit that out, Tyler. Final thought is that this guy. I think it's the second time you

said fuck on the on the show i think i said it more than once no you said it on yaya's episode and then you just said it again i did but no i think you just said it twice now on this show my my final thought on this is that my final fucking thought by von kohler back in the 1800s there was some like famous French writer who came to the United States, and he just basically traveled all over the United States and trying to find out exactly why our country had been so successful. And what he concluded was that there was a lot of just really good people in America. And he made the statement that America is great because she is good. And if she ceases to be good, she will cease to be great. So, you know what?

You can make a lot. You can make America great again just by being a decent person. Never goes out of style.